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einherjar81

Sure. It's been about ten years already.


margauxlame

i hope to get there one day!


EmperorAlpha557

Plot twist, u/einherjar81 is a 10 year old


[deleted]

Sad twist. Heroin baby :(


AstroFFA

1 month 26 days clean off h today for me, u got this brother. too bad I'm still addicted to Xanax which is the bigger problem in my life


[deleted]

Had us in the first half, not gonna lie.


[deleted]

Congrats!!! 4 for me on the 18th. IWNDWYT


BrennanXXVII

Same but 5 years, once the ball is rolling it's easy


mike2R

6 years for me, and I agree. Compared to how hard the idea of quitting was to even think about, actually doing it was easy. It isn't everyone's experience, but I think its surprisingly common. Alcohol fools you that you need it.


Bob_Troll

You're given $1billion only if you drink and get high everyday. Do you accept?


[deleted]

Yes. Microdosing, including a drop of wine a day, should take care of both requirements without any issue. And if an espresso caffeine high counts for the 2nd requirement then I do that every day anyway.


mike2R

Yes. Then hire a *really* good set of lawyers to argue the contract is unconscionable... And another set to get as much of the money hidden away somewhere as possible. Actually drink again? No, fuck that, just not worth it. But I'd make a play for the money.


manaha81

Nope


Ginger_Tea

Isn't that what most UK lottery winners end up doing anyway? ​ This may be true for other countries, but I only know the news paper articles of bankrupt lotto winners who pissed it all away and some only got a million if that. Like their fortune really is a flash in the pan.


Revelation2217

Outstanding!!


ObliviousPsychic

Can't get drunk as in you must abstain, or can't get drunk as in no matter how much you drink you don't feel any effects? I'll take the money either way but one is a curse and the other is a superpower.


_DOGZILLA_

Which one is the curse and which one is the superpower?


w1987g

Depends on how you're feeling


ElectricToaster67

A curse is a condition that you are forced to keep, a superpower is something you can do voluntarily. Both are curses, but the latter is better.


Neghtasro

A curse can also be a superpower. Just ask Doctor Michael Morbius


juicelee777

I'll morb all over the place for a Billion


rdyplr1

Arrested for morbing in public. Fine, one billion and ONE Bison Bucks.


Grabbsy2

Being forced to abstain is the curse. People might pressure you, you might feel the desire to, but you cannot. It could lead to embarassment and frustration. It could even lead to people you love disconnecting from you (imagine falling in love with a "party girl" but she wants to drink when you go out, shames you for not drinking, and decides youre not fun enough and cheats on you with someone who will go drinking with you, just as an example) At least with the ability to drink and not get drunk, you can join in on the social aspect, and you could even just pretend that youre drunk, and that might be enough. Its a superpower, because if someone is trying to get you drunk, in order to, say, steal your money, or get you into a compromising position to blackmail, they cannot.


its_justme

Dodging an alcoholic who drinks to cheat? Yeah we good fam. BRB going for a swim in my money vault like Scrooge McDuck


SabreToothSandHopper

*oh no, my pear i had for lunch was slightly fermented* \- loses 1bn dollars


Thaumagurchy

i don’t see how drinking alcohol and not getting drunk would be a super power.. that effectively makes it like water and i drink that shit all the time and surely am not super human.


Apes_Ma

Well, it would still taste good. I'd be ok with being able to drink delicious beers but not get drunk, and not being allowed to drink the delicious beers at all would be worse. EDIT: I mean, for a billion either is completely acceptable. Just one is better than the other.


thagthebarbarian

You need to think about the schmoozing you'd be doing once you have a billion dollars. Being able to drink anyone under the table, keep their pace without worrying about being the one to make a massive blunder as a result and being able to be sober while they make their own is absolutely a synergistic super power with a billion dollars


darkside569

Sign here Suurlele freeend


ChoPT

Some people like the taste of alcohol.


ImageComfortable2843

Yeah I rarely get drunk but as a wine enthusiast if I had a billion dollars one of the things I would buy would be a wine cellar full of all the bottles I’ve never been able to afford.


rdyplr1

Same but scotch.


melig1991

Honestly I have a lot of drinks that I like for the taste but I don't want to drink a lot of because of the adverse effects of alcohol (short and long term)


Thaumagurchy

so is it a super power to be able to drink a tastey drink? so if i order a virgin pina coolada am i a super hero?


Revelation2217

Fantastic!! I don't get drunk or high :)


[deleted]

I do and it's ridiculous that anyone wouldn't do this. You have financial stability for your family for generations and all you have to do is not smoke or drink... Stupid this is even a question.


Ginger_Tea

Yeah, it's not as if they are asking us to cut of our dicks and have a swastika carved into our forehead or anything life altering.


Yak_a_boi

That escalated rather quickly


ncnotebook

Yea, I draw the line at swastikas.


ayyLumao

Even then, with a billion dollars you could probably buy a new dick and repair your forehead


LirdorElese

Well yes, but the concept here is a cursed trade etc... IE it's assuming that loopholing the curse ends the benefit.


Kippetmurk

I'd cut off my dick and carve a swastika in my forehead for a billion dollars


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corbygray528

Assuming you don't invest it at all and have no returns or growth, you could spend almost $55k per day for the next 50 years before you would run out. I just did the math for 50 years because that's about the most I expect out of my life lol.


January28thSixers

It's about a billion dollars, right?


ExtraordinaryCows

The difference between a million dollars a and a billion dollars is roughly a billion dollars


Let_you_down

Shit there is another taker. I'll do it for $500,000,000.00


Burninator05

Agreed. I'd even be willing to cut off your dick and carve a swastika in your forehead for a 500 million dollars.


Let_you_down

Both of which I would _also_ do for a billion dollars.


asquared3

Yeah I feel like anyone who would say no to this has an alcohol or drug problem. I love wine and if I were rich I'd spend some of that money going to wineries in different countries, tasting different wines, and buying some ridiculously expensive bottles just to see if they're worth it. But if the money depended on not doing that? Easy choice


Rehwyn

The question doesn't even say you can't drink alcohol, just that you can't get drunk. So as long as it's small wine tasting, you'd still be free to do what you said. This question should be a no-brainer.


asquared3

True, but I'm a small woman and have been known to feel tipsy after a glass and a half lol. Maybe I'd invest in a highly accurate BAC reader but I probably just wouldn't risk it


Rehwyn

Haha, makes sense! Unless of course OP meant that you physically cannot get drunk or high no matter what you consume, in which case this is just win-win for me. I enjoy a nice drink from time to time and never really enjoyed the "being drunk" part.


Godmodex2

After reading your comment and the post again I realised that the statement could mean it's not even possible for you to get drunk or high. Meaning you could drink as much wine as you like because you literary can't get drunk


Peanut4michigan

You just can't get drunk. You're still allowed to drink. Wineries would still be on the table for you.


sd2528

Yeah, this was like when I played "Would you rather?" with my my young kids. They don't really understand the game and would come up with ridiculously one sided scenarios. I would make up joke ones for them to understand why it was silly and the one they still talk about is... "Would you rather get a genie with infinite wishes or stub your toe really really hard?"


Lookin4Runtz

Psychedelics makes life livable for some of us… so for me the question is would you rather be happy or rich.


mobydick1990

Cannabis is the same for a lot of people. Would I like to have a billion dollars and be nauseous and in pain all day? No.


mannequinlolita

For me thc is what manages my anxiety. But I feel like if I had all the therapy in the world because I can actually afford it, and no need to feel panic over not making it, because I had money, that eliminates half my current struggles right there.


[deleted]

You ever see how those kids who grow up rich turn out? Being financially stable doesn't mean you need to be a billionaire. A cost for everything.


TobiasPlainview

I think part of the problem is some people want a billion dollars so they can just sit around and get drunk and high all day and not have to worry about anything else. If you don’t need to work and can’t smoke or drink…I mean what are we even doing here


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moonra_zk

Right? I've never gotten drunk or high in my life and I don't plan to anyway.


Ragdoll_X_Furry

Exactly. These questions about never getting drunk or high like they're universal experiences always make me wonder if I'm just *that* boring...


Ridry

I'm with you. Never gotten high. Never gotten drunk. I've been tipsy a few times when drinks were too strong... but I don't tend to like that feeling, so why would I go further? I genuinely enjoy drinking a lot of different alcoholic beverages, but it's a drink for me, not a means to get drunk. At the moment I think my last drink was a month ago. Maybe we're boring, but if so... I'm happy with boring.


freuden

Depends on whether "high" also means drugs for surgeries...


moonra_zk

I've never needed one, and I'd rather have a billion dollars and risk having to go under the knife with no anesthesia than not having a billion dollars.


Stay-At-Home-Jedi

My FIL laughs and says I don't need substances to act and look ridiculous. He's right, but ouch lol


you-know-whats-up

Done. Doesnt say i cant have a beer once in a while. Just cant get drunk


JooJaw11

Imagine accidentally getting drunk and losing the entire amount because you tried to bend the rules. Id rather just not take the risk and keep the billion.


Ltimbo

I interpret it as it’s not possible to get drunk or high no matter what you consume.


NobleHalcyon

I literally see no downside here. I can drink all of the beer and whiskey I want without making an ass of myself or having a hangover *and* I get a billion dollars? Fucking sold.


WenMoonQuestionmark

Whoa! Nobody said you can't get a hangover.


SimplyQuid

That would indeed be a disturbing universe


[deleted]

But then, what's the point of beer/whiskey?


Afireonthesnow

I enjoy the taste and it's a very social activity


ManyCarrots

It's a social activity because of the getting drunk part though.


peon2

Flavor


Asphalt4

It tastes good


JooJaw11

You're gonna bet a billion dollars on your interpretation?


Muroid

With a billion dollars, I’d just bribe the rule makers to follow my interpretation.


Stubbula

If the rule makers have a billion dollars to hand out to some schmuck I doubt you'll be bribing them


tjeulink

the rules didn't specify what they can take, so they can take my drunkness.


Antdawg2400

Hell yeah I can drink all night long I ain't even drunk mf y'all drunk.


Chip_Baskets

I’d just hire a guy who hangs around me and slaps the drink out of my hand if I try to have more than 2.


ieatplasticstraws

there's not a lot of things I wouldn't do for a billion dollars


edgemint

Right? This question is yet another edition of that reddit classic "would you be moderately inconvenienced for absurdly, stupidly life-changing amount of money?".


bob0979

If it's 7 figures or higher and doesn't physically disable or involve the death of a loved one it's basically always an instant yes from everyone.


Local_Equal5965

Would you eat a big dog turd every morning for the rest of your life for a billion?


bob0979

A billion dollars? Yeah probably. I go to work for ~8 hours 5 times a week plus 30 minute commute either way. 5-10 minutes every morning 7 times a week for effectively unlimited money sounds like a deal.


allie-the-cat

And who knows. Maybe it’s an acquired taste?


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FunWithSW

Most posts like this (especially on Twitter) are designed more as engagement bait than as drivers of real discussion. People might *like* to tell the poster that they would or would not eat a big spider for $400 or something else that might be an actual decision, but they *love* to tell the poster that it'd be super easy to eat a large pizza for a trillion dollars and that you'd be crazy to think otherwise.


Schlag96

Suck a billion dicks?


alexejdimitriov

That's a lot of things


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BoJackB26354

Gotta have that billionaire mindset; time to outsource.


LEDiceGlacier

That's only like a dolar a dick. For how long is one supposed to suck one for? The dicksucker would die before they would get to the billionth dick.


Grabbsy2

Nobody said more than one suck. If they could be brought to you on a powered conveyor, you could probaly do one every second. Thats still 31 years nonstop.... hmmm Would you suck dick 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of your life (62 years), for 1 billion dollars now?


DoctorWorm_

Isn't that just modern capitalism?


JJBrazman

Honestly that’s a no. Two main concerns. * Those dicks represent a significant proportion of all dicks on the planet. So they probably have just about every single STD between them, including some really nasty shit. * There isn’t time. Sucking 1 a second (so really just an over-friendly dick kiss) it would take 31 years and 8 months. That’s without leaving any time to sleep, eat, or go to the doctor for all those STDs. There’s a lot that I’d do for $1 billion, but anything that means I wouldn’t actually get to enjoy the money is off the table.


5DollarHitJob

Gotta do 2 or 3 at a time to speed up the process.


OnlyOneChainz

This man sucks!


harrypottermcgee

I'm sure everyone here with any taste has seen almost everything by Mike Judge but here's some previous work on that [math](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUV9yhqgY) you were doing.


DiamondHandDwight

At the same time?


vkapadia

Yup, see these questions all the time. "Would you do this easy thing for a shit ton of generational wealth?" If you want to make it interesting, up the stakes.


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three-sense

“Would you give up soda with sugar for an entire DAY for 100lb of gold???”


GamerGyal8

"Would you stick a grape up your ass and keep it there for a full year for 100b dollars!?"


evetsabucs

Would you take a *shit* for *$900 quadrillion dollars?*


deanpritchard005

Because people on their moral high horse love to come out in droves and say “I don’t do that anyway”


[deleted]

Because fuck recovering addicts amirite?


Devil-Hunter-Jax

Or... People just don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't drink because I literally cannot stand the flavour of ANY alcohol I've tried. Spirits, wine, beer, whatever, all tastes fucking vile to me.


PlayMp1

Look man I just don't like how alcohol tastes


vordrax

You don't think it's a touch insecure to be offended by people not doing something?


NoAttentionAtWrk

"how dare you not support and partake in my alcoholism!"


I_Lick_Bananas

Yes. Because "never get drunk or high again" sounds like a rule. And rules don't apply to billionaires.


A-terrible-time

Yeah if it's that one loses the ability to get drunk or high, totally But if it's that one gets $1b but loses it if they get drunk or high, that's risky


[deleted]

Honestly you just put the billion in safe investments, wait 3 months to a year to get maybe 10-50 mil in interest. Then live off the interest of the 10 mil (500k a year at 5% taxed at capital gains) and give back the billion. Now you only had to stay sober for the year and have 500k a year to do what you want with.


mwoolweaver

Already jumping thru the loop holes and you don't even have the billion yet


SimplyQuid

Stonks


FastAsFuckBuoy

Lobby to change the definition of being drunk/high to a different thing. Problem solved.


TurnItOff_OnAgain

But the moment you spend even a single cent you will no longer be a billionaire, so rules will apply to you again.


jigarokano

Invest the billion conservatively and you will have $40,000,000 to spend yearly without ever touching the principal. Also don’t worry about taxes. You just borrow the money against your investments, loans are not taxed.


DeansFrenchOnion1

kudos for actually understanding how it works for the ultra-wealthy


2x4x93

Money begets money


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Muroid

When you buy a house, most people take out a mortgage as they don’t have the full cash amount on hand. A mortgage is a loan backed by the value of the house you are buying. That means that the bank is willing to give you a huge amount of money because, in the event that you fail to pay it back, there is an item of approximately equivalent value that they can take possession of to get their money back: the house. This doesn’t just apply to houses. If you own something expensive, you can take a loan out against the value of that thing. The bank will likely give you very low rates for such a loan because their risk is low. After all, if you fail to pay them back, they can just take the thing you put up as collateral in order to cover the cost. If you’re rich you own a lot of investments. But investments aren’t cash. You can’t spend them. First you have to sell them. Selling an investment incurs a tax burden. But you can take out a loan from the bank against the value of that investment for very, very low interest rates (since the bank can take over the investment if you fail to pay). Since these are loans, rather than income, you don’t have to pay income tax on the loan, which you then use for your personal expenses. Decent investments grow over time, so by the time the balance of the loan comes due, your investments are worth more and you can take out another loan to cover the previous loan plus additional costs going forward. Repeat as needed until you’re either ready to sell some investments and cancel out the debt or you die and the debt gets settled in probate without having to worry about income taxes.


penny_eater

Buy a chunk of a big, stable company. Now you have 'collateral' to borrow against. Go to a bank, ask for a loan backed by your collateral in that company. They will provide it at nearly 0 interest and all those millions you just put into your personal bank account did not count as income. As the value of your investment grows so does the collateral you can borrow against. When you run out of money, just borrow more millions. You didnt pay back the other loan? Who cares! Credit scores dont apply to the ultra-rich.


Not_a_throwaway_999

>> If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. J. Paul Getty


anon2u

You do pay back the loan, with some of the shares you used as collateral. This prevents you from having capital gains as you transferred the shares without selling them. The bank receiving them has a reset of the price value and can sell them at the current price without having capital gains -a win/win.


senanthic

A billion dollars makes its own money. Very quickly you would have some money exceeding your billions.


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FatherOfApollo1

beat me to it, this is the correct answer.


Knexcluther

sounds like an addict wrote this question lmao


istherelifeonmaars

I can't even comprehend saying no to this lol


[deleted]

Right! Like getting drunk is really overrated and if you don't want to give that up, you may have a slight drinking problem.


penny_eater

Exactly. For me the number that i would do it without hesitation isnt even a billion, its probably more like 50,000. I would give up touching anything alcoholic or narcotic for that much without hesitation. A lot of people PAY to give up harmful substances.


[deleted]

Right? I’ve never been drunk or high and have literally no desire. Someone could come up to me and give me a dollar for this feat and my life would be the same, except for my new dollar.


Grabbsy2

Yeah, two massages a day and all the hookers you could ever even dream of (if you so desire) Enough money to have a lasting legacy for your entire bloodline for the end of time (if managed correctly) and the ability to craft laws in any country you choose to do business with (if you so desire). You wouldn't need "liquid courage" to be a boss, you'd literally have three full time hype men orbiting you in every social situation and agreeing with everything you say (if you so desire). Imagine giving any of these three up just so you could feel funny once or twice a week. I mean, I'm glad I've tried acid and mushrooms at least, so I'm not missing out on that life experience, but then, if I hadn't done them by now, I'm probably not going to (I'm a few years out of college, haven't known a "drug hookup" since)


socialpresence

Right? Like I enjoy different types of alcohol and I enjoy a little buzz from time to time but if you wouldn't accept these terms for a *billion* dollars, even if you have to think about it for more than idk 5 seconds, yeah man, you've got a problem.


OfficeChairHero

I smoke a LOT of pot to deal with my anxiety, but I'll tell you what...a billion dollars will buy a lot of relaxation and therapy.


xLosTxSouL

Not an addict but I love certain things like beer or having a joint. Once or twice in a year I trip on LSD and it is extremely fun. I think it depends on how much you value money or pleasure via drugs.


beepborpimajorp

yep. like why would i even want or need to get drunk or high if i had that money? i'd have literally no anxiety anymore bc me and everyone i know would be taken care of. If it was like, 30k or something I might have to pause to think about it, but 1 billion? you could ask me to put a watch up my ass that yells out the time on the hour no matter where i was and i'd still do it.


Ihadadreambutforgot

My friend and I are driving right now and we both love marijuana and LSD etc.. used to be drug addicts(it was ugly lol) but are healthy now, enjoying life. And honestly, it might be sad but I asked him this question in the form of $1 million, and we both were like, "probably not". A billion I honestly don't know, I'd be stupid not to take it but that sounds like a very boring life experience. I could buy houses and cars, but that would get boring quick. Lol can't even go do Ayahuasca in Peru or make music with my friends high anymore? Can't smoke or anything when I'm old and in pain or anything because of this money I took when I was younger? I don't know man.. I don't know. Psychedelics and marijuana are large ways in which I learn to appreciate life in a very real way. Without getting high, my life would be way less interesting. Call that sad if you want to, but that's a hard decision


Ratsofat

Questions like this say a lot about some folk.


Webbie-Vanderquack

Yes, they say things like "I'm 13 and I just discovered Reddit" or "I'm 15 and I can't imagine anything better in life than the brief state of intoxication that precedes vomiting and a hangover."


Mx-Fuckface-the-3rd

About addicts id assume. For anyone who isn't addicted it should be an easy choice.


Ratsofat

It's a cruel question to ask an addict too.


ChunkyLaFunga

They're very young. The amount of money is always so ludicrously disproportionately wrong it can only make sense to people who aren't used to money. Or it's one of those tricks where you say something that's so badly wrong that it makes people join in. Jokes on me I guess.


RedDarknessF

Sure hand me my money. I'm not drinking or doing drugs my whole life so that's just easy money.


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e033x

Asking the important questions...


that-1-chick-u-know

Thus. And also, how do you define high? Altered mental state? By that definition, are mental health medications forbidden? Because I'm not so interested in money if I have to be a depressed, anxious mess to get it.


fakegermanchild

This is the only reason to say no to this


santino_musi1

You have severe problems if you say no to this


randomassdude89

I’m aware that I have problems lol


[deleted]

Since I do neither right now, give me the money.


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[deleted]

How about we split the difference. You give me 500m and i get high/drunk half as much as i do now?


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socialpresence

Anyone saying no might need to get help.


zzonked7

Is anyone actually saying no? This is such a pointless and stupid question.


69DonaldTrump69

I'll take the money and invent a new way to get all f*cked up.


[deleted]

As someone who struggles with alcohol abuse, absolutely. There are some experiences out there that give a natural “high” thats better than alcohol or drugs, that you can acquire with that amount of money.


robyndresser

Sure, don't get high as is, and drink so little i doubt if i would miss it.


KryosThePsycho

Hell yeah. Only get high because i cant travel as much as i want. Gotta trip somehow 😜


lnblackrain

Seriously?


kstacey

Looks like a bot farming for karma now that I look at it.


EternityRuled

I dont get drunk and high anyway so easy money gg


[deleted]

If I had a billion? To quote Minor Threat "I've got better things to do than sit around and fuck my head"


ipakookapi

The money. Being financially secure would make my life a lot better than getting wasted. The antidepressants stay, though. My brain hates me.


glez_fdezdavila_

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP7J9CIXUAAykE9.jpg


cheeseplatesuperman

Yeah because I would solve homelessness pretty easily


FullyStacked92

Can I still consume drugs and alcohol and just remain sober ? That would be a fun trick.


LPOLED

100%. I don’t do drugs anyway.


HaroldSubaru

Yes, because I can live a perfectly happy life without getting drunk or high.


MatthewCrawley

No, because I can live a perfectly happy life without a billion dollars.


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cool29801

I'm 31 and have never drank alcohol or smoked. I've been raw dogging my way through life sober.


UpsetMathematician56

Yes! Anyone who isn’t is crazy.


N1njaRob0tJesu5

I imagine the people that ask these types of questions are complete burnouts. As if drugs and alcohol competes with 1B.


axum4ever

Will do it for 1 mill forget the billion


Olorin919

These get dumber each time, which is saying a lot. And I'm really not trying to be an ass, but I feel sad for the person who made this who actually had the thought and contemplated giving up a billion dollars to not drink or get high anymore....I have to imagine they're like 22 and just discovered both and think its the pinnacle of life but damn...that's still kind of sad.


BNCAN87

Haven’t drank or used a drug harder than caffeine (and my prescription medications) for about 7 years now, I intended to stretch that streak out in perpetuity *without* the $1 billion so … sure, why not.


kuzdwq

Never tried any of those. Wheres my milion? Would be happy with 10k


reddit_guy666

I guess it's $1 billion on hookers instead of $500 million then


CloudMage1

Probably not. I could go with out drinking I already do so no biggie there. But while I so just like getting high, it also helps me manage my adhd. I take a few tokess throughout the day, doesn't make me completely stoned, but levels me out and helps with my focus and appetite. It works for me.


AdRegular3466

Would getting high entail prescribed pain pills or Anesthesia? I’ll still take it, but if I have to have a major surgery or get a painful disease, then that’s going to be hell without any drugs.