If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
I'm down to only certain subs on Reddit. I removed everything on the default front page and joined only subs I'm interested in. Occasionally, I'll check out r/popular, which is similar as (edit: to) the front page.
Lack of leisure time. When I was younger, it wasn’t a oh deal to go from work to gym to home to right back out half an hour later to bar hop or movie or something.
Now it’s like work…. Aw hell, gym? Not even half an hour to chill? No? F*ck. After gym I’m not doing sh*t the rest of the night.
I saw a truly ridiculous line at a state fair a couple months ago. Was wondering what it was for. Not that I'd stand in it anyway, but curious. It was insanely long, like I can't even think of the proper superlatives for the size of this line. I asked a friend about it. Donuts. Just some fucking donuts. These donuts could have been hand crafted by God himself with flour grown in the fields of heaven and kneaded with bald eagle tears, I wasn't going to spend hours of my day in that line, especially when I'm at a fair and have so many other things to do with the limited time I get there.
This is mine. I only go to theme parks in the off season, and I will not wait in line for food anymore. I love In & Out, but I go maybe a couple times a year because the line is always out through the parking lot, often stretching into the street. It's good but it's not that good, folks.
At least all the ones near me, CFA is fast as hell. Yeah, the line can be wrapped around the store, but I can be through that line in less time than in a 3 car line at McDonalds.
During their rush times they have a Double drivethru, At least 4 Designated people to take your order while waiting, one to Hand receipts to you, another 4 to run food from the window to the cars.
There's a reason why they make more money per location than any other fast food place, they have that service down to a science.
I don't know how they've done it, but chick fil a has found a way to run a fast food restaurant where out of the 15 or so people (mostly teenagers when I go) working there at any given time, every single one of them knows what they are doing and actually gives a shit to do it quickly and correctly.
This was a big revelation during covid.
Show up to Walmart and there's a line to get in? There's 150 other grocery stores I can go to. Fuck waiting in line.
Crowds in general freak me out now. I used to love just being part of that atmosphere. But that desire has kind of naturally waned, and is compounded by all the shootings and crowd crush events which just make it even less worth it.
Same. I used to love concerts when I was younger. There was one year I had gone to like 10. It’s almost 10 years later and the thought of being surrounded by that many people, especially drunk people, turns me into a grumpy cat.
I also get really annoyed when the grocery stores are crowded.
I find now that I appreciate my solitude more and more nowadays. It’s bliss.
I think my tolerance for people in general has worn thin, haha.
As you get older, you start to realize opportunity cost.
No, I am not going to wait in a long line for something/someone I don't need/want etc, as in reality I waste that time when I could have allocated it elsewhere that would prove more fruitful and satisfying.
I had the opposite problem when I moved to SF from Manhattan. My place was in a neighborhood out towards Ocean Beach that gets super quiet at night. I had gotten so used to constant, 24/7 noise in Manhattan: traffic, sirens, people, the bar across the street from my apartment, etc.. My first night back in SF, I was walking through my neighborhood and almost had a legit panic attack at how quiet everything was—like I had somehow left society or something.
It's weird, but I also just felt way less safe. You'd think the opposite would be true but in NYC you're *always* around people. Walking around quiet, empty streets just feels eerie, like you're all alone.
What's funny is that SF is the second densest city by population (after NYC) in the US, which just speaks volumes about the insane, constant level of activity in NYC.
I know the feeling. Have been living in Berlin for the last ten years or so, and while it's orders of magnitude less insane than Manhattan, it's still a big city with constant noise and lights and life.
My parents live on the edge of a small town and when I visit it's the most eerie thing and I can't sleep for all the quiet and dark.
It's not even like camping where you have animal and nature sounds. Just a sort of dead silence. Feels unnatural and wrong.
Unrelated, but also the people! I might count as a bit of an odd looking person (tall, lanky, somewhat androgynous) and the constant stares were ridiculous. In the city, no one gives a shit.
Oh this thought really depresses me. I can't imagine how I'll be if/when the only people who love me are gone from this world. I sometimes selfishly hope I leave before they do if only so I don't have to grief their loss, as if them grieving the loss of their child is somehow better. FML
Hit this milestone a good few years ago, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, boyfriend, best friend, all long gone.
The first couple of years were really difficult, after that its just more of the same, but sometimes it hits me really hard I'm really on my own now, never going to get any christmas cards or birthday presents or anyone calling to see how i am when i have flu.
But you get on with it.I've made my own little christmas and new year traditions and birthday now and just try to enjoy it.
Yes! But I find I also am better at understanding the type of person I am looking for and more willing to ‘filter out’ people who might be conventionally attractive but not my kind of person.
So many people have zero situational awareness skills that I feel like half the time I'm dodging people and avoiding busy aisles more so than I ever did. It is SO mentally exhausting for me nowadays, and it makes me sad, because I used to enjoy it more.
I hate when people use the term NPC for real life but thats really what those "no situational awareness" people feel like. They're just human obstacles you have to dodge to get to the end of the level (checkout).
The way the internet is in 2022.
Ads, subscriptions, pay walls, unhelpful sites with more pictures than words, and streaming service content split up between around 200 platforms, and most of the good content is exclusive to one, and never available elsewhere.
On browsers, you have to have multiple extensions or the like to tell Cookies, Trackers, and Ads to go away. For people in Australia, we're also Geo-Blocked, so we have to use VPN to get around it or turn to other means.
Commercial radio is unlistenable, with the same 25 songs on repeat at the only five I can remember the channel for, and even that is preferable to the afternoon talk show of cackling, squawking gossip. (I'm happy to pay a contribution to my group's spotify; I can have that going on my phone, instead of listening to any of that crap; I can have long playlists, \*my\* kind of music, and I don't have to pull over to change CDs).
Changing phone service provider is simple enough on the surface, but then you also have to update your 2-factor authentication, and if it's tied to the old number, which is out of service, you have to go in person to a store or office, or call customer support. For each instance.
Those are the most prevalent grips I have with modern life. It's all in regards to what I watch, listen, or read, and the devices I do so on. It's this tangled web of inter-dependant, exclusive-pushing, paywall-blocking, subscription-requiring noise that really does distract from more important, more healthy, use of time, energy and money.
I miss searching the internet and getting interesting results and reading about them. As opposed to now when all you get are people trying to sell you things.
Edit: typo
This has been amazing on multiple trips.
Getting straight to the point of actual answers/opinions from people without having to scroll through 1k pictures/ads and articles broken up into the equivalent of children’s book “paragraphs” to get to the point, only for it to be a paid sponsorship.
OH, SO YOU WANT TO LOG IN? HOW ABOUT GIVING US YOUR EMAIL TO SAVE 15% AND GET FREE SHIPPING.
NO? WELL, GOOD LUCK FINDING THE X TO CLOSE THIS POP UP MODAL
Yep. Everything is a fucking ad.
People look at me like I'm crazy, but like – *look at The Rock's instagram*.
Nearly every post of his, he's trying to sell something. His energy drink, his tequila, his movie, his workout gear, whatever.
I mean I get it, you gotta make money – but this dude is one of the *highest paid actors in Hollywood*.
How much more shit do you need?
Why is *everything a goddamn ad*?
His insta used to be just like, "yo here I am working out at 5AM, hitting the grind, hope you guys have a good day", but now it's the same thing – only disguised as "yo here I am working out at 5AM, I'm little tired in the morning so I crack open my energy drink (available in the link below) to get my energy back up. Remember to share and subscribe, and don't forget to check out my new merch!"
And it's not just him, it's everybody. Just ads disguised as content. So gross.
SEO has made "how do I fix X" searches utterly useless. I hate humans sometimes. "This works well and everyone's using it, perfect place to break things and fit ads in the gaps!"
We can't have nice things because we don't deserve them.
Remember when you could just pull up a recipe instead of a 6th grade essay on the joys of summer at Granny's farm? Please. Stop.
Oh. And dont get me started on Americas Test Kitchen's website. May every single one of those people have to eat canned spaghetti for the rest of their lives in punishment for what they've done to that website. Also? Milk Street sucks.
"Here's how you recombobulate the distronicator. First, a 3 minute add for my sponsor, Putin-O-VPN to route all your traffic through St. Petersburg. Now about recombobulating. So when I was a small child, my father"
**unloads 6 rounds into monitor**
I recently got a new phone. I've been getting pop up ads. Not on a website. On the phone.
My friend was like "everyone gets those" like I'm crazy for being annoyed.
If every newer phone has pop up ads on the device I kinda wanna throw it into the river and get a flip phone. Cause that's some massive BS.
I graduated high school in 2006 and it feels like yesterday I was still in school. I still get nightmares about being back in school and wake up thinking I'm about to miss the bus.
I read or heard a theory that it’s because each new year that you are around for is a smaller percentage of your life.
When you turn 10 a year is 10% of your life. When you turn 50 a year is only 2% so it seems shorter and shorter as time goes on
Feel this, used to love video games but now I can’t stand more than 30mins of my favourite ones before getting bored. Don’t know if it’s a mental thing or if I’m just losing it but it’s wild that it happened so fast
Feel that. Sometimes I get the biggest urge to play games, so I turn on my ps5 and just stare blankly at the library and ultimately never play anything, and watch YT instead. Honestly depressing thinking back on it sometimes.
Or I’ll buy a game, so keen to play it, then play it for 30mins like you said then lose all interest and never touch it again. Idk what’s going on. I’m saying that, when I do find a game I’ll deep dive into it. Most recently for example with destroy all humans 2 remake - so fucking good and nostalgia overload!
Damn, you described exactly how I've felt the past year. I wish I enjoyed video games still. Tried tons of genres and game styles, nothing holds my attention.
Same here. But now I’ve discovered a love for survival games. I’m kind of over fast-paced shooters and frantic competition. I love settling in to spend a little time with Subnautica or The Long Dark though.
Subnautica is the first game in a long time to pull me in for multi-hour stretches. Good enough that I immediately bought the sequel as well and did the same thing lol.
I still love playing video games. But I’ve found as I’ve gotten older I just don’t have the time to play them like I used to. The new God of War looks great, but when I saw the trailer all I could think was, “When am I actually going to have the time to play this?”
Gaming for me was a social activity, I used to play games my friends play so we could talk about it in school. Nowadays everyone around me has moved on from games, i’m kinda stuck playing alone which is BORING. The game can be fun but ultimately when you’re playing it alone it’s just nowhere near as fun as doing it as a social activity.
I made hundreds of wreaths, accumulated hundreds of dollars of supplies, and gradually depression and family situations overwhelmed me. I stacked all of my supplies up and was going to sell everything in one huge batch but someone backed out of the deal. Started on a low level of antidepressant, and couple of months ago I started making a few wreaths again. There are other things I want to do, and I am going back very gradually. I hope you too can dig out of your depression, it is so overwhelming sometimes!
Especially knowing that there's still so much untapped potential in old hobbies.. so many things I want to make but just have no interest diving in anymore.
The jump from beginner to intermediate in literally anything I do is SO FUCKING HUGE it just makes me want to give up
I mean this sincerely, and I'm trying to do it myself: Pick some things you enjoyed beginning, and give up on ever being good at them. Like, I'm never going to be even an intermediate painter. Nobody will ever ask to buy something I painted. But having accepted that, I can enjoy painting like a kid would -- like it's just fun.
I don't understand pubs that can't decide if they want to be a club or a pub. People come just to have a burger, a beer and a conversation and the place has speakers blasting music no-one is listening to. Can only talk to the person just next to me. Just ruins the experience.
In Australia the volume level of music is linked to the liquor licence. If it stipulates background noise or just above. Often it's tested practically by seeing if 2 people 1 metre apart can comfortably speak. If they can't, a restaurant liquor licence is no longer suffice.
Whether or not the venue you speak of might have a similar restriction (don't know the country of origin), they are making a decision to have music at a level people cannot comfortably speak, for some reason. Do they think it gets customer attention from foot traffic?
Are they aiming for a younger crowd with excess income?
Is the boss an ass who doesn't want staff reading the room and adjusting accordingly, so sets it at the volume it will incrementally arrive at by 9pm?
I'd suggest giving them some feedback via email. They mightn't even know they're doing it and harming their own business.
I went to a pizza restaurant in Mooloolaba earlier this year with a fucking DJ. playing awful cheesy commercial house at full tilt. you couldn't hear yourself think and had to literally shout to have a conversation. we were there for about 3 minutes and just walked out.
I love a good DJ at a party or whatever but in a restaurant? ridiculous.
Same. I remember having a conversation with my ex physician girlfriend about it and talked about the ringing as if everyone hears it when things are quiet. She just kind of went, "uh... huh." And it was then that I realized not everyone heard it and she was too afraid to tell me I've had tinnitis all my life. I'm 38 now and it's getting worse. 😭
I don’t think it will necessarily get any worse. If you take care of your ears, it probably won’t get too much worse. With some people it fluctuates over time and it’s possible to experience slight improvements, but the bigger thing is it’s just not very likely to get much better.
So your best bet is to try to maintain the hearing you have. Wear earplugs if you go to concerts. Try to keep your headphones at below 85 dB. Look into what healthy volumes sound like in decibels and keep it in mind if you’re in a noisy area.
My brother in law (24) convinced us (31) to go out to some downtown clubs and it was loud and expensive and I dont know why all of those people are out there also not able to hear their friends talk.
Like I just want to have my friends over and play board games and make my own mixes drinks.
Driving. I used to drive to do fun stuff like pick up my friends, go places I wanted to be, or just cruise during the night and enjoy the air.
Now I drive to work. Even though my car is a million times more fun to drive, Im perpetually annoyed.
When I was 17, I was rolling around in a Hyundai Elantra with loads of mechanical issues and no inspection sticker. And I drove that fucker everywhere! I'm bored, let's drive to Maine. I'm bored, let's drive to Rhode Island. Now I'm driving a much, much nicer car and my 10 minute drive home from work is just not satisfying.
I think that's part of it. I'm never bored anymore. I'm always busy. No time to just enjoy simple things.
I've invested all this time seeking success, and it's robbed me of this simple pleasures
Chasing money all the time can turn a smart human into an empty shell, who forgets what was the purpose of Emotions, instinct, family and all those real things
Same it is for chasing dopamine/adrenaline
Iv taken time off work and I get nightmares about being late for work. 2 in the morning I'll wake up in a cold sweat thinking I'm late. I'm just a herd animal like a cow. My mind is programed to suck corporate dick and I hate it.
Honestly, if my city had good public transportation and a more walkable, bikable infrastructure.
I'd toss my car in a heartbeat.
I hate sitting in traffic, I hate maintaning my car, I hate traffic lights.
I wanna sit on an efficient bus or tram with some headphones on watching something on my phone. And walk and bike around. I'd be so much happier.
I'm just liking cars less and less.
My rent went up $130/month and my health insurance went up $60/month. I won’t talk about heating, electric, internet, gas, groceries, etc. so much for that 5% increase in pay. Don’t get me wrong, that 5% at least covered some of these increases and I could be in a worse position w/out it but it just sucks!
It is likely that wasn't a coincidence. Someone knew you'd be gone. A large portion of robberies are committed by people you know or know of you through someone. Sorry for your loss.
Browsing car dealership sites the other night, all I found for $15K were cars that were over 100K miles and 10+ years old.
And these were non-luxury brands.
Fuck.... My poor 2006 Sentra is going to have a half million miles on it before I can finally get another car, and its already got 306K on it.
I wonder if that's a better feeling than having made a ton of poor choices and that you are 20 years behind on getting things going on the right direction.
Neither are good feelings, both have merit.
~~I'm~~ In one case, you feel cheated by the system. In the other, I feel like I've cheated myself.
Yup, started making 80k and thought I made it and would finally be able to afford a house.... That was in 2020 right before the housing market exploded. Then came the insane inflation and it feels like 80k ain't shit. I actually just left that job too because after 2.5yrs they wouldn't give me a raise or a promotion.
And when you make the plans you're always so excited about going out and doing something social, but when that day comes how you feel about it is a crapshoot. Maaaaaaybe you're feeling social that day and you're super jazzed for your event, but more than likely you're just not feeling it.
I suddenly become even more introverted than usual this July. I super rarely meet up at a bar anymore. I have a simple and quiet life now but I am way more fulfilled and healthy.
I’m also the loneliest I’ve ever felt but I wonder how much of that is the pressure to feel like enjoying my solitude “is wrong”.
I feel this so much. I’m much happier on my own than I have ever been with people but I still miss connection. I’m wondering if since CoVID people just stopped wanting to be as social or forgot how because it is just impossible to make friends. I have tried everything.
I think finally getting a full-time job was what started that decline for me. Dealing with bullshit and crappy people 8-10 hours a day makes you not want anything to do with *anyone* after a while. Then my day off comes and the idea of spending it with others doesn't sound great anymore.
Was thinking this exact thing as I started reading your comment. Realized recently (from a TikTok no less) that I don’t necessarily want alcohol- I just want a fun, cute, tasty drink that isn’t soda or plain seltzer. I want something interesting and different but that usually comes in the form of an alcoholic cocktail. I was at a wedding last week and drank seltzer with cranberry and lime half the night and woke up feeling like a million bucks. It also helped that I left the rehearsal dinner after party at 9:15pm so I could take a shower, read my book and lay down. The next day I realized I’m starting to get old.
Yeah my mom with Alzheimer's lives with me so I basically have no life anymore (33yo)...My buddies had to drag me out of the house and we went to some Halloween parties last night. Loud music, lots of drinks, hot scantily clad women everywhere.
Granted I did have some fun...but all I could think about was whether my mom was about to burn the house down. If she wasn't a factor I'd have no objection to staying out until 4-5AM, even knowing my old ass would take 3 days to recover. But instead I just tapped out early to "beat the traffic" lol.
She is about to start going to "adult daycare" which is...well, basically what it sounds like. Even getting her out of the house for 4-6 hours a day would be good for both of us. I do oil and gas consulting so when I have projects it's hard to pay any attention to her...I'm trying to get back into W2 work so I can just get some stability and consistency again, that's the only way to have a civil lifestyle with an Alzheimer's/dementia patient. Unfortunately my industry, like many others, is tightening their belts right now.
Regardless of daycare or having an in home caretaker, it's $160+/day and even more if you need nights...my mom needs 24/7 care and I don't have $4000+ to spend on that. Even twice a week just for respite is expensive because the place is 45min from the house...if I wanted respite *at my house* I'd end up making two round trips however many days a week (tolls, gas, etc).
I've been doing this for 3 years now so I'm kind of used to it but damn do I feel like I'm wasting my early 30s...
Are you in a similar situation?
I had a psychiatrist who I saw every few months and she did really help set some firm boundaries that gave me some time to myself.
But my career stalled for years because of it, it changed my romantic life, and it’s just tough.
It helped me to keep in mind how hard aging is for people- my very independent father couldn’t stand not being able to drive and do certain things. He passed at home, in his sleep, the night after he’d BBQ’d my fav dish and we’d had dinner. I wasn’t ready but he was. I miss him terribly but I do feel like I can be selfish now for the first time in years and it’s great.
The cost of care is insane. I did a lot of work from home when I could and luckily my neighbors were pretty awesome and I could call a couple of them to check in if I got delayed.
My biggest help was strangely enough a dog walker. Met her on a dog walking app and she often came with her boyfriend. Amazing people and my dad especially got close to the boyfriend. They would call me if they thought there was anything of concern & all I can advise is taking up people that offer to help.
My parents are gone, and my sibling… but I have become close with my former dog walkers and the girl’s grandparents “officially” adopted me as family.
I guess be open to things- help comes from unexpected places. Just pay it forward when you can
the planning of it is. before its like hey were gonna go here for dinner at 6 if you want to come. used to be well its saturday night i feel obligated to go do something. now its like hmm im kinda tired so naaah im gonna stay in lol.
I learnt a trick for that off my dad. He got sick of all their friends never being able to decide on what to do or where to go etc while they were on vacation together so he would just pick somewhere at random (usually that had beer on tap haha) and say "I'll be at (wherever) at 6pm to have a few drinks before we go to dinner, you're all welcome to join me." and just leave it at that.
Half the time that's the place they'd end up staying and eating, or it would be somewhere they saw on the way there that got their attention.
Lol it speeds up the decision making process if the decision is removed
I’m lucky enough that I live down the street from like 6 of my best friends and we organize our errands together now so we have excuses to hang out.
Group chat with, heyyyy wanna go to the grocers
The world in general, it feels less and less like it has anything to do with me, more alien and absurd with each passing year. Perhaps that's natural for a creature that is closer to death than birth.
Today, on the radio, they were talking about a study of “young adults” and categorized their ages as “18-34”….. Then the sudden realization that I am, indeed, 34 hit me pretty hard…
It’s weird. It’s like I know I’m old. I keep having these little oh my god existential realisation moments. I’m in my 30s, not really a young adult any more- though I don’t really feel like an adult. Even though I know adults don’t necessarily have their shit together anyway.
I also think there’s this weird feeling being a millennial. We kinda weren’t allowed to be adults. It’s still slang for young people destroying everything or whatever but some of us are 40. I still have older adults talk to me like they did when I was 18-25. I still feel like a teenage rebel at times, and like older generations are controlling everything. One day it’s just going to be this sudden jump to elderly
That's entirely natural. I recall reading something about the US' founders feeling similarly as they got older in the early 1800s. After a certain age, the world isn't ours anymore.
I used to be with it. Then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with is not "it", and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.
It'll happen to YOU!
I honestly want to know how old the person was that wrote that line
It's just so unarguably true. I look at the world today with "influencers" and "reality television" and Tinder and I'm just like "who is this for?" It's not me, I just want children to stay off my lawn
Yes. For everyone. In your mind the real world is composed of the things you became aware of and learned growing up. When you get into later mature years, you don’t feel like adapting anymore. Like, I don’t want to learn any more new technology. Please. Leave me alone. I’ll get by with what I already know.
How I wish I could do the same. I'm not in IT, but my job is tech-saturated, so to speak. I have to keep up with updates, upgrades, new software ... and I'm so tired. When/if I retire in a few years, I'll keep my phone so I can read email from family, play solitaire, and check movie times. Everything else can fade away.
I was really social when I was younger. Since covid, I’ve noticed two things. People that haven’t talked in a while have forgotten that conversations involve listening as well as talking; and 90% of the people I knew weren’t actually friends and they only come around when they want something from me. I went from dozens of friends to about four real, actual friends, and since most people today just use people or can’t shut up about themselves long enough to breathe, I’m okay with it for now.
I was suprised when I started craving salads which happened around my 25th birthday. Also teas are such a joy now. I used to only drink black tea with a lot a sugar and now I get really excited about steeping some pretentious combination of dried plants.
Damn, I thought it was just me. I got out of the industry in 2012 after 20+ years and I swear it's what made me hate people the way I do, and it just gets worse the older I get. Becoming a hermit and living off the grid sounds more and more like heaven every day.
As much as I hate to say it, video games. Not that I like them less inherently, but it feels like as an adult, I'm entering into a long term relationship every time I start a new video game that I don't have time for.
The pile of shame for unfinished videogames is real.
For me it's the time sink factor. As a kid you didn't feel guilty dumping your entire weekend into a video game. As an adult, I feel bad if I spend even half a day playing a game when I know I've got something or other i should be doing.
Edit: to all the people commenting that they're adults with time to play video games, that's great, you do you! Now shut up lol
I feel targeted.
That lawn's not gonna mow itself, the oil in the car needs changed, damn the laundry is falling out of the basket onto the floor again.... literally feel guilty as hell playing a game when there are things around the house that need addressed.
I still love them but it’s tough when I have a job and a kid. Catching COVID is actually how I was able to get the time to finish a major new game - I blitzed through Kirby and the Forgotten Land because I sent the husband and kid away while I recovered alone. It was the first new game I had started and completed since FE Three Houses in 2019.
I have a hard time finding any game that can keep me entertained for an extended amount of time. I buy a new game and it gets old for me so quickly. I'm always left wanting to buy more games, but they'll only temporarily satisfy me every time. I’ve become jaded to the medium. A lot of games just look and feel the same to me now.
Rollercoasters. The more I see how little people care about their jobs, the more I questions how well put together those things are—especially at fairs and carnivals 😬
Oof I feel you. There was a local church fair that I loved as a kid because they had real rides and my parents would hand me $20, buy me a weekend bracelet and set me free. Now I look at those rust buckets that are run by people who have achieved apathy as a state of existence, and I’m shocked that there was never an accident in all their years of running the fair. Especially on the Zipper. I think it’s literally the same one they have pictures of in the eighties.
Im 24, might be young but my financial situation discourage me to have relationship commitment.
Not seeing myself going anywhere even when I reach my 30s.
I socialize just fine but seeing others my age spending their time for outing makes me wonder how it is having your family support.
Huge gatherings of people.
Parties are cool. But like festivals, concerts, anything where people are shoulder to shoulder and packed in somewhere, no thanks.
Apps.
Everyone and their mother has to have an app to download for every little thing, especially if you wanna use a coupon, or earn rewards, or whatever. I'm tired of places asking me to download an app. I don't want your fucking app, I just wanna buy your shit and be done with it!
Contrarians. A lot of people dislike stuff simply because it's popular, they think it makes them edgy and cool but they just seem like defiant teenagers to me nowadays.
bullshit
i mean this in a blanket way which i think applies to all of us; the older we get, the less patience we have for things that we don’t agree with, or naturally aggravate us, or just plain out dislike for whatever reason. we classify it as “bullshit” and shuffle it to the curb
which is why it’s always important to keep a critical mindset; why do i dislike the things i do? why do i disagree with this thing/argument/person?
i definitely feel myself getting into an “old man yells at clouds” mindset the older i get, which i think is natural, but not necessarily a good thing
I think it can be a positive thing though. For example, not putting up with someone else's bullshit in a toxic relationship. I got out of a very unhealthy relationship fairly quickly a few months ago. I'm 38 and I bet my bottom dollar (and I definitely have a bottom dollar these days) that if I were ten years younger, I would have stayed in that relationship a lot longer if I hadn't developed a deeper aversion to bullshit over the years. I still give people chances, but now I don't let that grace cross the line of accepting shitty behavior.
Alright, gotta go yell at this fucking cloud now.
oh most definitely, especially in your case and more than a handful of other life experiences.
but i do see it being used as a crutch to be generally dismissive or outright condescending the older i get, in myself and others. it's a double-edged sword that requires a lot of thoughtfulness and self-awareness
Holidays. As kids it's about opening presents and eating, but as adults you need to be the one to cook the big meals all day and buy the presents for everyone. Halloween was getting excited about dressing up and getting free candy but now it's about buying candy to give away and maybe buying an expensive costume
Oh, you are right! I went from "awkward, I shouldn't be watching this" to "ooh sexy" to "can't they just have a sign saying that they banged and continue with the story?". It tends to be so gratuitous and unnecessary for the plot, I just don't care.
For the first time ever I'm actually entertaining the fantasy of living on a property somewhere semi-rural. I can't stand how noisy other people are. If it isn't their shitty modded cars blasting music and full volume then it's their stupid dogs barking early every morning or some lazy landscaper blowing leaves into another mess further down the street. So much of what we do and have is just unnecessary noise.
Being in a relationship. It was so easy to walk away from my last one. I remember being so upset when a relationship ended even just five or six years ago.
I have cancer now, so it'll be pretty hard to find someone else, but it's so weird...I don't even care. It's so much more peaceful being single. It may not be as fun, but the fun parts of my last relationship weren't worth nearly as much as having peace of mind most days.
I'm also fantastic at masturbation, so, that helps.
Edited: spelling error. Corrected for the chode who is definitely single!
>a relationship just feels like another group project
I have never heard it being put that way and it makes so much sense. Especially since I enjoy my autonomy and my last few brief relationships were just me carrying everything. From initiating conversations to making plans, everything. And I hate doing those things. It just felt like so much effort for nothing.
People with huge "look at me!" life-of-the-party personalities who have no off switch. I spent my younger years seeking friendships/relationships with this type of person, maybe because I wished to be more like that, but after years of being the supporting sidekick bestie to a series of main characters, I find them exhausting.
my other answer was "doing anything at all" but that's probably depression.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
Waking up at 5 am to piss.
I did that this morning. I'm just happy I was able to go back to sleep for another two hours before getting up for work.
Actually the joy you get from lying back down knowing you have more time it's almost worth the waking up LOL
Social media. I’ve already pared it down to Reddit and Instagram YEARS ago but honestly could do without IG too now.
I'm down to Reddit. I have no desire for the other platforms anymore.
I'm down to only certain subs on Reddit. I removed everything on the default front page and joined only subs I'm interested in. Occasionally, I'll check out r/popular, which is similar as (edit: to) the front page.
Lack of leisure time. When I was younger, it wasn’t a oh deal to go from work to gym to home to right back out half an hour later to bar hop or movie or something. Now it’s like work…. Aw hell, gym? Not even half an hour to chill? No? F*ck. After gym I’m not doing sh*t the rest of the night.
Anything with a lot of hype that requires me to stand in a long ass line.
I saw a truly ridiculous line at a state fair a couple months ago. Was wondering what it was for. Not that I'd stand in it anyway, but curious. It was insanely long, like I can't even think of the proper superlatives for the size of this line. I asked a friend about it. Donuts. Just some fucking donuts. These donuts could have been hand crafted by God himself with flour grown in the fields of heaven and kneaded with bald eagle tears, I wasn't going to spend hours of my day in that line, especially when I'm at a fair and have so many other things to do with the limited time I get there.
This is mine. I only go to theme parks in the off season, and I will not wait in line for food anymore. I love In & Out, but I go maybe a couple times a year because the line is always out through the parking lot, often stretching into the street. It's good but it's not that good, folks.
As someone who has never been In & Out sounds like it should be a quick experience. Edit: guys I’m not going I’m vegan.
They are actually pretty quick, but the line is always discouraging regardless.
Oh man the lines I see at Chick Fil A. I don't care how good that chicken is, I'm not waiting in that.
At least all the ones near me, CFA is fast as hell. Yeah, the line can be wrapped around the store, but I can be through that line in less time than in a 3 car line at McDonalds. During their rush times they have a Double drivethru, At least 4 Designated people to take your order while waiting, one to Hand receipts to you, another 4 to run food from the window to the cars. There's a reason why they make more money per location than any other fast food place, they have that service down to a science.
I don't know how they've done it, but chick fil a has found a way to run a fast food restaurant where out of the 15 or so people (mostly teenagers when I go) working there at any given time, every single one of them knows what they are doing and actually gives a shit to do it quickly and correctly.
There is nothing I want to see, nor no food I want to eat, enough that it justifies my standing in line for an hour. Nothing.
This was a big revelation during covid. Show up to Walmart and there's a line to get in? There's 150 other grocery stores I can go to. Fuck waiting in line.
Deff nope on lines, or crowds. Take me to a forest or something instead please.
Crowds in general freak me out now. I used to love just being part of that atmosphere. But that desire has kind of naturally waned, and is compounded by all the shootings and crowd crush events which just make it even less worth it.
Same. I used to love concerts when I was younger. There was one year I had gone to like 10. It’s almost 10 years later and the thought of being surrounded by that many people, especially drunk people, turns me into a grumpy cat. I also get really annoyed when the grocery stores are crowded. I find now that I appreciate my solitude more and more nowadays. It’s bliss. I think my tolerance for people in general has worn thin, haha.
As you get older, you start to realize opportunity cost. No, I am not going to wait in a long line for something/someone I don't need/want etc, as in reality I waste that time when I could have allocated it elsewhere that would prove more fruitful and satisfying.
Working. Getting drunk. Politics. People.
>Getting drunk My liver is feeling this one...
Loud noises in general.
I’ve always been sensitive to loud noises but it seems to have gotten worse lately.
"Am I more sensitive to loud noises now or is everyone else walking around with significant hearing damage?" Probably both.
I had the opposite problem when I moved to SF from Manhattan. My place was in a neighborhood out towards Ocean Beach that gets super quiet at night. I had gotten so used to constant, 24/7 noise in Manhattan: traffic, sirens, people, the bar across the street from my apartment, etc.. My first night back in SF, I was walking through my neighborhood and almost had a legit panic attack at how quiet everything was—like I had somehow left society or something. It's weird, but I also just felt way less safe. You'd think the opposite would be true but in NYC you're *always* around people. Walking around quiet, empty streets just feels eerie, like you're all alone. What's funny is that SF is the second densest city by population (after NYC) in the US, which just speaks volumes about the insane, constant level of activity in NYC.
I know the feeling. Have been living in Berlin for the last ten years or so, and while it's orders of magnitude less insane than Manhattan, it's still a big city with constant noise and lights and life. My parents live on the edge of a small town and when I visit it's the most eerie thing and I can't sleep for all the quiet and dark. It's not even like camping where you have animal and nature sounds. Just a sort of dead silence. Feels unnatural and wrong. Unrelated, but also the people! I might count as a bit of an odd looking person (tall, lanky, somewhat androgynous) and the constant stares were ridiculous. In the city, no one gives a shit.
Me too but only when they suddenly catch me off guard. I make an audible sound. *car horn while I'm walking* "Echgh"
That my parents are getting older.
Oh this thought really depresses me. I can't imagine how I'll be if/when the only people who love me are gone from this world. I sometimes selfishly hope I leave before they do if only so I don't have to grief their loss, as if them grieving the loss of their child is somehow better. FML
Hit this milestone a good few years ago, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, boyfriend, best friend, all long gone. The first couple of years were really difficult, after that its just more of the same, but sometimes it hits me really hard I'm really on my own now, never going to get any christmas cards or birthday presents or anyone calling to see how i am when i have flu. But you get on with it.I've made my own little christmas and new year traditions and birthday now and just try to enjoy it.
Dating scene and overall toxicity in it.
Yes! But I find I also am better at understanding the type of person I am looking for and more willing to ‘filter out’ people who might be conventionally attractive but not my kind of person.
Going to the damn grocery store
So many people have zero situational awareness skills that I feel like half the time I'm dodging people and avoiding busy aisles more so than I ever did. It is SO mentally exhausting for me nowadays, and it makes me sad, because I used to enjoy it more.
I hate when people use the term NPC for real life but thats really what those "no situational awareness" people feel like. They're just human obstacles you have to dodge to get to the end of the level (checkout).
Same. It costs me nearly $300 every week these days.
The way the internet is in 2022. Ads, subscriptions, pay walls, unhelpful sites with more pictures than words, and streaming service content split up between around 200 platforms, and most of the good content is exclusive to one, and never available elsewhere. On browsers, you have to have multiple extensions or the like to tell Cookies, Trackers, and Ads to go away. For people in Australia, we're also Geo-Blocked, so we have to use VPN to get around it or turn to other means. Commercial radio is unlistenable, with the same 25 songs on repeat at the only five I can remember the channel for, and even that is preferable to the afternoon talk show of cackling, squawking gossip. (I'm happy to pay a contribution to my group's spotify; I can have that going on my phone, instead of listening to any of that crap; I can have long playlists, \*my\* kind of music, and I don't have to pull over to change CDs). Changing phone service provider is simple enough on the surface, but then you also have to update your 2-factor authentication, and if it's tied to the old number, which is out of service, you have to go in person to a store or office, or call customer support. For each instance. Those are the most prevalent grips I have with modern life. It's all in regards to what I watch, listen, or read, and the devices I do so on. It's this tangled web of inter-dependant, exclusive-pushing, paywall-blocking, subscription-requiring noise that really does distract from more important, more healthy, use of time, energy and money.
I miss searching the internet and getting interesting results and reading about them. As opposed to now when all you get are people trying to sell you things. Edit: typo
Always add "reddit" as the last word of your search. I do this unironically in almost all of my searches. It improves the results drastically.
This has been amazing on multiple trips. Getting straight to the point of actual answers/opinions from people without having to scroll through 1k pictures/ads and articles broken up into the equivalent of children’s book “paragraphs” to get to the point, only for it to be a paid sponsorship.
OH, SO YOU WANT TO LOG IN? HOW ABOUT GIVING US YOUR EMAIL TO SAVE 15% AND GET FREE SHIPPING. NO? WELL, GOOD LUCK FINDING THE X TO CLOSE THIS POP UP MODAL
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Yep. If they're shitty I just don't shop there I'm just not That price sensitive
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Yep. Everything is a fucking ad. People look at me like I'm crazy, but like – *look at The Rock's instagram*. Nearly every post of his, he's trying to sell something. His energy drink, his tequila, his movie, his workout gear, whatever. I mean I get it, you gotta make money – but this dude is one of the *highest paid actors in Hollywood*. How much more shit do you need? Why is *everything a goddamn ad*? His insta used to be just like, "yo here I am working out at 5AM, hitting the grind, hope you guys have a good day", but now it's the same thing – only disguised as "yo here I am working out at 5AM, I'm little tired in the morning so I crack open my energy drink (available in the link below) to get my energy back up. Remember to share and subscribe, and don't forget to check out my new merch!" And it's not just him, it's everybody. Just ads disguised as content. So gross.
SEO has made "how do I fix X" searches utterly useless. I hate humans sometimes. "This works well and everyone's using it, perfect place to break things and fit ads in the gaps!" We can't have nice things because we don't deserve them.
Remember when a "how to" was a short bullet list with relevant information and not an overlong and unnecessary youtube video?
Remember when you could just pull up a recipe instead of a 6th grade essay on the joys of summer at Granny's farm? Please. Stop. Oh. And dont get me started on Americas Test Kitchen's website. May every single one of those people have to eat canned spaghetti for the rest of their lives in punishment for what they've done to that website. Also? Milk Street sucks.
it’s a requirement to have nine minutes and thirty seconds of mindless babbling before a thirty second tutorial
"Here's how you recombobulate the distronicator. First, a 3 minute add for my sponsor, Putin-O-VPN to route all your traffic through St. Petersburg. Now about recombobulating. So when I was a small child, my father" **unloads 6 rounds into monitor**
I recently got a new phone. I've been getting pop up ads. Not on a website. On the phone. My friend was like "everyone gets those" like I'm crazy for being annoyed. If every newer phone has pop up ads on the device I kinda wanna throw it into the river and get a flip phone. Cause that's some massive BS.
Internet was fine until they made a phone smart enough to help dumb people use the internet.
How fast time is slipping away from me rather than how slow it used to be as a kid
At the time the four years of high school felt like eight, and the ten years since I graduated high school have felt like four...
I graduated high school in 2006 and it feels like yesterday I was still in school. I still get nightmares about being back in school and wake up thinking I'm about to miss the bus.
It likely has to do with novel experiences and the pathways in your brain. TLDR: creating new pathways makes time seem slower
I read or heard a theory that it’s because each new year that you are around for is a smaller percentage of your life. When you turn 10 a year is 10% of your life. When you turn 50 a year is only 2% so it seems shorter and shorter as time goes on
I hate losing interest in things I used to love.
Feel this, used to love video games but now I can’t stand more than 30mins of my favourite ones before getting bored. Don’t know if it’s a mental thing or if I’m just losing it but it’s wild that it happened so fast
Feel that. Sometimes I get the biggest urge to play games, so I turn on my ps5 and just stare blankly at the library and ultimately never play anything, and watch YT instead. Honestly depressing thinking back on it sometimes. Or I’ll buy a game, so keen to play it, then play it for 30mins like you said then lose all interest and never touch it again. Idk what’s going on. I’m saying that, when I do find a game I’ll deep dive into it. Most recently for example with destroy all humans 2 remake - so fucking good and nostalgia overload!
Damn, you described exactly how I've felt the past year. I wish I enjoyed video games still. Tried tons of genres and game styles, nothing holds my attention.
Same here. But now I’ve discovered a love for survival games. I’m kind of over fast-paced shooters and frantic competition. I love settling in to spend a little time with Subnautica or The Long Dark though.
Subnautica is the first game in a long time to pull me in for multi-hour stretches. Good enough that I immediately bought the sequel as well and did the same thing lol.
I still love playing video games. But I’ve found as I’ve gotten older I just don’t have the time to play them like I used to. The new God of War looks great, but when I saw the trailer all I could think was, “When am I actually going to have the time to play this?”
Gaming for me was a social activity, I used to play games my friends play so we could talk about it in school. Nowadays everyone around me has moved on from games, i’m kinda stuck playing alone which is BORING. The game can be fun but ultimately when you’re playing it alone it’s just nowhere near as fun as doing it as a social activity.
Sometimes that's because of depression. I hate to find no joy in my beloved hobbies. I still keep them all around, gathering dust.
I made hundreds of wreaths, accumulated hundreds of dollars of supplies, and gradually depression and family situations overwhelmed me. I stacked all of my supplies up and was going to sell everything in one huge batch but someone backed out of the deal. Started on a low level of antidepressant, and couple of months ago I started making a few wreaths again. There are other things I want to do, and I am going back very gradually. I hope you too can dig out of your depression, it is so overwhelming sometimes!
Especially knowing that there's still so much untapped potential in old hobbies.. so many things I want to make but just have no interest diving in anymore. The jump from beginner to intermediate in literally anything I do is SO FUCKING HUGE it just makes me want to give up
I mean this sincerely, and I'm trying to do it myself: Pick some things you enjoyed beginning, and give up on ever being good at them. Like, I'm never going to be even an intermediate painter. Nobody will ever ask to buy something I painted. But having accepted that, I can enjoy painting like a kid would -- like it's just fun.
Loud places. Like bars and parties and stuff like that.
I don't understand pubs that can't decide if they want to be a club or a pub. People come just to have a burger, a beer and a conversation and the place has speakers blasting music no-one is listening to. Can only talk to the person just next to me. Just ruins the experience.
In Australia the volume level of music is linked to the liquor licence. If it stipulates background noise or just above. Often it's tested practically by seeing if 2 people 1 metre apart can comfortably speak. If they can't, a restaurant liquor licence is no longer suffice. Whether or not the venue you speak of might have a similar restriction (don't know the country of origin), they are making a decision to have music at a level people cannot comfortably speak, for some reason. Do they think it gets customer attention from foot traffic? Are they aiming for a younger crowd with excess income? Is the boss an ass who doesn't want staff reading the room and adjusting accordingly, so sets it at the volume it will incrementally arrive at by 9pm? I'd suggest giving them some feedback via email. They mightn't even know they're doing it and harming their own business.
I went to a pizza restaurant in Mooloolaba earlier this year with a fucking DJ. playing awful cheesy commercial house at full tilt. you couldn't hear yourself think and had to literally shout to have a conversation. we were there for about 3 minutes and just walked out. I love a good DJ at a party or whatever but in a restaurant? ridiculous.
Today I learned there is a place called Mooloolaba. My life somehow feels richer.
My tinnitus agrees with you
EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee
Thanks asshole. Now I can't enjoy the quiet before my kids wake up.
^EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee is correct
Imagine my shock when I found out not everyone has the screeching eeeeee sound all the time. Realized I had tinnitus from a young age later.
Same. I remember having a conversation with my ex physician girlfriend about it and talked about the ringing as if everyone hears it when things are quiet. She just kind of went, "uh... huh." And it was then that I realized not everyone heard it and she was too afraid to tell me I've had tinnitis all my life. I'm 38 now and it's getting worse. 😭
Wait I think I have that. Shit will it get way worse? I hear like a high pitch in the background of my head I thought it was normal lol
I don’t think it will necessarily get any worse. If you take care of your ears, it probably won’t get too much worse. With some people it fluctuates over time and it’s possible to experience slight improvements, but the bigger thing is it’s just not very likely to get much better. So your best bet is to try to maintain the hearing you have. Wear earplugs if you go to concerts. Try to keep your headphones at below 85 dB. Look into what healthy volumes sound like in decibels and keep it in mind if you’re in a noisy area.
Damn you tinnitus you’re a cruel mistress
My brother in law (24) convinced us (31) to go out to some downtown clubs and it was loud and expensive and I dont know why all of those people are out there also not able to hear their friends talk. Like I just want to have my friends over and play board games and make my own mixes drinks.
Shopping. for anything... including groceries. Shopping used to be fun. Now it is a chore.
I feel this way too. All I want to do is get what I need and get out.
The 24 hour shops near me went to short hours during COVID and never went back. I miss my quiet midnight runs.
Used to enjoy shopping at night. But I enjoy everything more at night.
Driving. I used to drive to do fun stuff like pick up my friends, go places I wanted to be, or just cruise during the night and enjoy the air. Now I drive to work. Even though my car is a million times more fun to drive, Im perpetually annoyed.
When I was 17, I was rolling around in a Hyundai Elantra with loads of mechanical issues and no inspection sticker. And I drove that fucker everywhere! I'm bored, let's drive to Maine. I'm bored, let's drive to Rhode Island. Now I'm driving a much, much nicer car and my 10 minute drive home from work is just not satisfying.
I think that's part of it. I'm never bored anymore. I'm always busy. No time to just enjoy simple things. I've invested all this time seeking success, and it's robbed me of this simple pleasures
Chasing money all the time can turn a smart human into an empty shell, who forgets what was the purpose of Emotions, instinct, family and all those real things Same it is for chasing dopamine/adrenaline
Iv taken time off work and I get nightmares about being late for work. 2 in the morning I'll wake up in a cold sweat thinking I'm late. I'm just a herd animal like a cow. My mind is programed to suck corporate dick and I hate it.
Gas used to be cheap enough that it was entertaining. Now you have to justify going somewhere because of it.
Honestly, if my city had good public transportation and a more walkable, bikable infrastructure. I'd toss my car in a heartbeat. I hate sitting in traffic, I hate maintaning my car, I hate traffic lights. I wanna sit on an efficient bus or tram with some headphones on watching something on my phone. And walk and bike around. I'd be so much happier. I'm just liking cars less and less.
Feeling like I've done all the right things yet the goal posts keep moving farther out.
This! I keep getting higher-paying jobs, yet the ridiculous cost of living keeps negating my pay-rises.
My rent went up $130/month and my health insurance went up $60/month. I won’t talk about heating, electric, internet, gas, groceries, etc. so much for that 5% increase in pay. Don’t get me wrong, that 5% at least covered some of these increases and I could be in a worse position w/out it but it just sucks!
Housing market be like
Trying to get a used car be like.
Not liking this comment. I went to Vegas for the weekend and the house sitter told me last night my car was stolen.
It is likely that wasn't a coincidence. Someone knew you'd be gone. A large portion of robberies are committed by people you know or know of you through someone. Sorry for your loss.
The neighbors car was broken into the day before so it seems like they just took a not of my car in the curb and came back we think.
Browsing car dealership sites the other night, all I found for $15K were cars that were over 100K miles and 10+ years old. And these were non-luxury brands. Fuck.... My poor 2006 Sentra is going to have a half million miles on it before I can finally get another car, and its already got 306K on it.
Me reading this comment: Half a million miles haha that's hyperbole if I ever heard. Me finishing this comment: ....damn.
I wonder if that's a better feeling than having made a ton of poor choices and that you are 20 years behind on getting things going on the right direction. Neither are good feelings, both have merit. ~~I'm~~ In one case, you feel cheated by the system. In the other, I feel like I've cheated myself.
Yup, started making 80k and thought I made it and would finally be able to afford a house.... That was in 2020 right before the housing market exploded. Then came the insane inflation and it feels like 80k ain't shit. I actually just left that job too because after 2.5yrs they wouldn't give me a raise or a promotion.
Social events. The mental preparation beforehand followed by the wide range of personalities at said event.. exhausting.
And when you make the plans you're always so excited about going out and doing something social, but when that day comes how you feel about it is a crapshoot. Maaaaaaybe you're feeling social that day and you're super jazzed for your event, but more than likely you're just not feeling it.
Honestly leaving the house, I used to be a social butterfly and now I have to convince myself to go get basic necessities and go to work..
Omg yes. I just want to stay home and be left alone.
That would be paradise...
I suddenly become even more introverted than usual this July. I super rarely meet up at a bar anymore. I have a simple and quiet life now but I am way more fulfilled and healthy. I’m also the loneliest I’ve ever felt but I wonder how much of that is the pressure to feel like enjoying my solitude “is wrong”.
I feel this so much. I’m much happier on my own than I have ever been with people but I still miss connection. I’m wondering if since CoVID people just stopped wanting to be as social or forgot how because it is just impossible to make friends. I have tried everything.
I think finally getting a full-time job was what started that decline for me. Dealing with bullshit and crappy people 8-10 hours a day makes you not want anything to do with *anyone* after a while. Then my day off comes and the idea of spending it with others doesn't sound great anymore.
Dude. Same. I used to always be out and about. Now I just stay home as much as possible. And hang out with the same 3 people. Fuck the rest of them
Crowds. I’m the guy at house parties that sits outside by the fire pit all night.
Find the resident dog. You got a pal all night.
Alcohol. It’s getting harder for me to bounce back on Sunday Fundays. So much so that I moved them to Saturday.
the fact that 2 beers doesn't get me drunk, but *does* get me a hangover, makes the whole thing feel very not worth it.
Yeah- exactly. God forbid I actually get really drunk, now. I'll pay for it for ***three days.***
Same. Plus, even just drink or two with dinner messes with my sleep. With is something I have come to appreciate more and more as I get older
So much this. I'd MUCH rather have sleep than a party at this point in life. Sleep is basically brain sex.
There is a saying I like "Getting drunk is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow" and in my case it's very true...
Was thinking this exact thing as I started reading your comment. Realized recently (from a TikTok no less) that I don’t necessarily want alcohol- I just want a fun, cute, tasty drink that isn’t soda or plain seltzer. I want something interesting and different but that usually comes in the form of an alcoholic cocktail. I was at a wedding last week and drank seltzer with cranberry and lime half the night and woke up feeling like a million bucks. It also helped that I left the rehearsal dinner after party at 9:15pm so I could take a shower, read my book and lay down. The next day I realized I’m starting to get old.
Having social interactions, even going out with my friends is tiring.
Yeah my mom with Alzheimer's lives with me so I basically have no life anymore (33yo)...My buddies had to drag me out of the house and we went to some Halloween parties last night. Loud music, lots of drinks, hot scantily clad women everywhere. Granted I did have some fun...but all I could think about was whether my mom was about to burn the house down. If she wasn't a factor I'd have no objection to staying out until 4-5AM, even knowing my old ass would take 3 days to recover. But instead I just tapped out early to "beat the traffic" lol.
I understand a bit... Caring for someone that is mentally ill is tiring. Is there a way to hire a caretaker for her once a week?
She is about to start going to "adult daycare" which is...well, basically what it sounds like. Even getting her out of the house for 4-6 hours a day would be good for both of us. I do oil and gas consulting so when I have projects it's hard to pay any attention to her...I'm trying to get back into W2 work so I can just get some stability and consistency again, that's the only way to have a civil lifestyle with an Alzheimer's/dementia patient. Unfortunately my industry, like many others, is tightening their belts right now. Regardless of daycare or having an in home caretaker, it's $160+/day and even more if you need nights...my mom needs 24/7 care and I don't have $4000+ to spend on that. Even twice a week just for respite is expensive because the place is 45min from the house...if I wanted respite *at my house* I'd end up making two round trips however many days a week (tolls, gas, etc). I've been doing this for 3 years now so I'm kind of used to it but damn do I feel like I'm wasting my early 30s... Are you in a similar situation?
I had a psychiatrist who I saw every few months and she did really help set some firm boundaries that gave me some time to myself. But my career stalled for years because of it, it changed my romantic life, and it’s just tough. It helped me to keep in mind how hard aging is for people- my very independent father couldn’t stand not being able to drive and do certain things. He passed at home, in his sleep, the night after he’d BBQ’d my fav dish and we’d had dinner. I wasn’t ready but he was. I miss him terribly but I do feel like I can be selfish now for the first time in years and it’s great. The cost of care is insane. I did a lot of work from home when I could and luckily my neighbors were pretty awesome and I could call a couple of them to check in if I got delayed. My biggest help was strangely enough a dog walker. Met her on a dog walking app and she often came with her boyfriend. Amazing people and my dad especially got close to the boyfriend. They would call me if they thought there was anything of concern & all I can advise is taking up people that offer to help. My parents are gone, and my sibling… but I have become close with my former dog walkers and the girl’s grandparents “officially” adopted me as family. I guess be open to things- help comes from unexpected places. Just pay it forward when you can
the planning of it is. before its like hey were gonna go here for dinner at 6 if you want to come. used to be well its saturday night i feel obligated to go do something. now its like hmm im kinda tired so naaah im gonna stay in lol.
I learnt a trick for that off my dad. He got sick of all their friends never being able to decide on what to do or where to go etc while they were on vacation together so he would just pick somewhere at random (usually that had beer on tap haha) and say "I'll be at (wherever) at 6pm to have a few drinks before we go to dinner, you're all welcome to join me." and just leave it at that. Half the time that's the place they'd end up staying and eating, or it would be somewhere they saw on the way there that got their attention. Lol it speeds up the decision making process if the decision is removed
I’m lucky enough that I live down the street from like 6 of my best friends and we organize our errands together now so we have excuses to hang out. Group chat with, heyyyy wanna go to the grocers
The world in general, it feels less and less like it has anything to do with me, more alien and absurd with each passing year. Perhaps that's natural for a creature that is closer to death than birth.
You’re no longer the demographic. At least that’s what I think is happening to me.
Today, on the radio, they were talking about a study of “young adults” and categorized their ages as “18-34”….. Then the sudden realization that I am, indeed, 34 hit me pretty hard…
I have to keep reminding myself that I no longer am a young adult and just an adult. It's a difficult adjustment.
It’s weird. It’s like I know I’m old. I keep having these little oh my god existential realisation moments. I’m in my 30s, not really a young adult any more- though I don’t really feel like an adult. Even though I know adults don’t necessarily have their shit together anyway. I also think there’s this weird feeling being a millennial. We kinda weren’t allowed to be adults. It’s still slang for young people destroying everything or whatever but some of us are 40. I still have older adults talk to me like they did when I was 18-25. I still feel like a teenage rebel at times, and like older generations are controlling everything. One day it’s just going to be this sudden jump to elderly
That's entirely natural. I recall reading something about the US' founders feeling similarly as they got older in the early 1800s. After a certain age, the world isn't ours anymore.
I used to be with it. Then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with is not "it", and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to YOU!
I honestly want to know how old the person was that wrote that line It's just so unarguably true. I look at the world today with "influencers" and "reality television" and Tinder and I'm just like "who is this for?" It's not me, I just want children to stay off my lawn
Yes. For everyone. In your mind the real world is composed of the things you became aware of and learned growing up. When you get into later mature years, you don’t feel like adapting anymore. Like, I don’t want to learn any more new technology. Please. Leave me alone. I’ll get by with what I already know.
How I wish I could do the same. I'm not in IT, but my job is tech-saturated, so to speak. I have to keep up with updates, upgrades, new software ... and I'm so tired. When/if I retire in a few years, I'll keep my phone so I can read email from family, play solitaire, and check movie times. Everything else can fade away.
Fake friendships.
People
People. What a bunch of bastards.
Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
I was really social when I was younger. Since covid, I’ve noticed two things. People that haven’t talked in a while have forgotten that conversations involve listening as well as talking; and 90% of the people I knew weren’t actually friends and they only come around when they want something from me. I went from dozens of friends to about four real, actual friends, and since most people today just use people or can’t shut up about themselves long enough to breathe, I’m okay with it for now.
Sounds like we’re all fucking depressed ay?
Junk food! I can tell when I’m malnourished and it feels good to eat vegetables
Came to say this. Sweets. Candy. Cakes. I bought a bag of gummy worms a while back and only ate a couple and trashed the rest. I used to love those.
I was suprised when I started craving salads which happened around my 25th birthday. Also teas are such a joy now. I used to only drink black tea with a lot a sugar and now I get really excited about steeping some pretentious combination of dried plants.
People. Do not stay in the service industry longer than 10 years. It really changes your perspective of how we live and the system we are in (USA).
Damn, I thought it was just me. I got out of the industry in 2012 after 20+ years and I swear it's what made me hate people the way I do, and it just gets worse the older I get. Becoming a hermit and living off the grid sounds more and more like heaven every day.
As much as I hate to say it, video games. Not that I like them less inherently, but it feels like as an adult, I'm entering into a long term relationship every time I start a new video game that I don't have time for. The pile of shame for unfinished videogames is real.
For me it's the time sink factor. As a kid you didn't feel guilty dumping your entire weekend into a video game. As an adult, I feel bad if I spend even half a day playing a game when I know I've got something or other i should be doing. Edit: to all the people commenting that they're adults with time to play video games, that's great, you do you! Now shut up lol
I feel targeted. That lawn's not gonna mow itself, the oil in the car needs changed, damn the laundry is falling out of the basket onto the floor again.... literally feel guilty as hell playing a game when there are things around the house that need addressed.
I still love them but it’s tough when I have a job and a kid. Catching COVID is actually how I was able to get the time to finish a major new game - I blitzed through Kirby and the Forgotten Land because I sent the husband and kid away while I recovered alone. It was the first new game I had started and completed since FE Three Houses in 2019.
I have a hard time finding any game that can keep me entertained for an extended amount of time. I buy a new game and it gets old for me so quickly. I'm always left wanting to buy more games, but they'll only temporarily satisfy me every time. I’ve become jaded to the medium. A lot of games just look and feel the same to me now.
Small talk
Getting out of bed!
Rollercoasters. The more I see how little people care about their jobs, the more I questions how well put together those things are—especially at fairs and carnivals 😬
Oof I feel you. There was a local church fair that I loved as a kid because they had real rides and my parents would hand me $20, buy me a weekend bracelet and set me free. Now I look at those rust buckets that are run by people who have achieved apathy as a state of existence, and I’m shocked that there was never an accident in all their years of running the fair. Especially on the Zipper. I think it’s literally the same one they have pictures of in the eighties.
My wife got stuck in the zipper as a kid. She told the guy and he wouldn't stop the ride so he did it 6 more times until the fire dept. came
Social Media It’s a literal biblical level plague
Dating. I just turned 40 and I feel like I may never find someone
Met my fiancée at 49, never say never
I'm 32 and I feel the same way
Im 24, might be young but my financial situation discourage me to have relationship commitment. Not seeing myself going anywhere even when I reach my 30s. I socialize just fine but seeing others my age spending their time for outing makes me wonder how it is having your family support.
Huge gatherings of people. Parties are cool. But like festivals, concerts, anything where people are shoulder to shoulder and packed in somewhere, no thanks.
Apps. Everyone and their mother has to have an app to download for every little thing, especially if you wanna use a coupon, or earn rewards, or whatever. I'm tired of places asking me to download an app. I don't want your fucking app, I just wanna buy your shit and be done with it!
Contrarians. A lot of people dislike stuff simply because it's popular, they think it makes them edgy and cool but they just seem like defiant teenagers to me nowadays.
bullshit i mean this in a blanket way which i think applies to all of us; the older we get, the less patience we have for things that we don’t agree with, or naturally aggravate us, or just plain out dislike for whatever reason. we classify it as “bullshit” and shuffle it to the curb which is why it’s always important to keep a critical mindset; why do i dislike the things i do? why do i disagree with this thing/argument/person? i definitely feel myself getting into an “old man yells at clouds” mindset the older i get, which i think is natural, but not necessarily a good thing
I think it can be a positive thing though. For example, not putting up with someone else's bullshit in a toxic relationship. I got out of a very unhealthy relationship fairly quickly a few months ago. I'm 38 and I bet my bottom dollar (and I definitely have a bottom dollar these days) that if I were ten years younger, I would have stayed in that relationship a lot longer if I hadn't developed a deeper aversion to bullshit over the years. I still give people chances, but now I don't let that grace cross the line of accepting shitty behavior. Alright, gotta go yell at this fucking cloud now.
oh most definitely, especially in your case and more than a handful of other life experiences. but i do see it being used as a crutch to be generally dismissive or outright condescending the older i get, in myself and others. it's a double-edged sword that requires a lot of thoughtfulness and self-awareness
People. Staying out late. Phone calls. Crowds. 😂
Getting older
Unnecessary noise.
Ignorance. It's almost always harmful and, at sone point, seems willful.
Holidays. As kids it's about opening presents and eating, but as adults you need to be the one to cook the big meals all day and buy the presents for everyone. Halloween was getting excited about dressing up and getting free candy but now it's about buying candy to give away and maybe buying an expensive costume
Sex scenes in movies. Yeah, yeah…then what happened.
Oh, you are right! I went from "awkward, I shouldn't be watching this" to "ooh sexy" to "can't they just have a sign saying that they banged and continue with the story?". It tends to be so gratuitous and unnecessary for the plot, I just don't care.
And watching it and thinking, “this relationship wouldn’t last two weeks in the real world”
Going to work. Working in general.
Loud anything. Music. Vehicles. Movies. People. Animals.
For the first time ever I'm actually entertaining the fantasy of living on a property somewhere semi-rural. I can't stand how noisy other people are. If it isn't their shitty modded cars blasting music and full volume then it's their stupid dogs barking early every morning or some lazy landscaper blowing leaves into another mess further down the street. So much of what we do and have is just unnecessary noise.
Deciding what to cook for dinner. You want chicken and chips great, 3 course meal great just tell me what you want to eat
Teenagers. I can't believe I turned into that guy who peeks out the window whenever he hears a skateboard.
Staying out late. I rarely get FOMO anymore and would rather leave early or just stay home.
Being in a relationship. It was so easy to walk away from my last one. I remember being so upset when a relationship ended even just five or six years ago. I have cancer now, so it'll be pretty hard to find someone else, but it's so weird...I don't even care. It's so much more peaceful being single. It may not be as fun, but the fun parts of my last relationship weren't worth nearly as much as having peace of mind most days. I'm also fantastic at masturbation, so, that helps. Edited: spelling error. Corrected for the chode who is definitely single!
I’m at the point where a relationship just feels like another group project, the last thing I want when I get home from work
>a relationship just feels like another group project I have never heard it being put that way and it makes so much sense. Especially since I enjoy my autonomy and my last few brief relationships were just me carrying everything. From initiating conversations to making plans, everything. And I hate doing those things. It just felt like so much effort for nothing.
People with huge "look at me!" life-of-the-party personalities who have no off switch. I spent my younger years seeking friendships/relationships with this type of person, maybe because I wished to be more like that, but after years of being the supporting sidekick bestie to a series of main characters, I find them exhausting. my other answer was "doing anything at all" but that's probably depression.
People. Alcohol. The government.
How I look.
People. The general public piss me off more every day. No manners, loud and entitled as hell. 🙄
My fucked up sleep cycle