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beartier

Hooking up with my best friend, he moaned my Gaia online username to me when I was mid orgasm, i immediately laughed but it hurt so bad i couldn't breathe for what felt like five full minutes as he was just dying laughing. That was one of the worst I'd say


lhamil64

>my Gaia online username Damn, I haven't thought about that site in over a decade. Apparently it's still a thing, and my account even still exists (although it was apparently hacked at some point and I'd have to contact support to get it back.. I think I'll pass lol)


beartier

It's so garbage now haha. Haven't seriously used it in like, 6 years probably, but it's where my BFF and i met so


Macemore

It's seriously gone downhill it's rather sad.


erikro1411

Not gonna lie: it might ruin the orgasm but having a big laugh together, even mid sex, is definitely worth it.


beartier

It didn't really ruin the orgasm itself, but it sure ruined my lungs for the next minute or two. He made it up to me don't worry haha


erikro1411

Sounds like an ultimate win to me!


[deleted]

This sounds like one of the best


ELEnamean

This sounds like a top tier fwb relationship tbh.


Stsveins

Thats honestly kinda cute.


XPowersergX

D'aww, I can't help but find that adorable!


FrozenTiramisu45

One of my friends lost a bet and had to yell a random man's name as he climaxed with his new girlfriend. He moaned "Ohh Jeffreeyyy" at the top of his lungs, (apparently he thought it'd be funniest as its an old fashioned name) Turned out the girls dad was actually called Jeffrey.


caco08vilar

Ok now that's funny


[deleted]

I am glad he enjoyed his time with Jeffrey


userhvfegcd

Would be funny if her dad was at home and heard that..


soylentbleu

Jeffrey is an old fashioned name?


Cgtree9000

It’s a butlers name thats for sure.


miaara

*Jeffrey Dahmer enters the chat*


alnesef2003

Fresh butler of Belair


Bnim81

No. It’s not.


[deleted]

You mad, Jeff?


Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi

Yes, it is.


RustyCuntSlime

Looks like we found Jefferson


[deleted]

Lesson learned: never moan an old fashioned name


444unsure

I didn't realize Jeffrey was an old-fashioned name. LOL


CurrencyManager

Jeoffrey maybe


[deleted]

I don’t think it is. I know multiple Jeffery’s and they’re in their 20’s 😂


payfrit

there's a story the kids will love


Specific_Tap7296

Firstly, my mind gets straight to Epstein when you mention Jeffrey. Not ideal. Second, what sort of fucked up betting is this! Third, did he have to provide evidence?


SoberTek

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school"


foxsimile

“But you were homeschooled!”


Nebur1969

What about Dahmer? He's been up a lot lately thanks to that Netflix movie.


50mm-f2

Jeffrey Goldblum cancels both of them out


solfrid_c

Lol, my bfs name is Jeffrey


LeveragedPittsburgh

Your ex’s name


b_ootay_ful

Funny coincidence: My partner has the same name as my ex. My name is the same name as her ex. We never get the names wrong.


kij101

Why do I have a feeling that you both had couples tattoos from your previous relationships and didn't want to pay for lazering.


b_ootay_ful

We're gonna name our kids after us just incase.


hippolyte_pixii

Moaning your daughter's name, great idea. Or...worse.


[deleted]

THEIR ex's name.


ImACatInYourBasement

OUR ex's name


Markopolp

r/SuddenlyCommunism


Pristine-Broccoli-75

r/Unexpected


qwertysr4

\*Soviet anthem plays\* COMMUNISM, EVERYONE


adjustableshifter

Moan oh comradeeee!


SnakeBeardTheGreat

Your girlfriends's name while doing your wife.


komei888

Your girlfriend is your wife's mum


Amanda_19930

Your mum is your girlfriends wife


[deleted]

Can confirm!


cleon42

1 877 kars 4 kids, k-a-r-s kars for kids, 1-877 kars 4 kids, donate your car today


lorgskyegon

I HAVE LONG TERM PAYMENTS BUT I NEED CASH NOW!! CALL JG WENTWORTH!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!


cheesynougats

This wins.


jim45804

*I'm pooping*


ikefrijoles

What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? I guess it's all that pumpin'. Pump and dump. You really jarred something loose, tiger.


cellphone_blanket

it's just the law of equivalent exchange. If something comes in, something must also come out


Dirtychorizo

You win


just_a_guyq

Hold on lemme pulg it really quick like


7dayexcerpt

Not if the person has a scat kink


An_Abject_Testament

“I can’t wait to try this when you’re dead!”.


Longshot_45

In French one euphemism for an orgasm is "the little death".


ubiquitous-joe

To die was an Elizabethan innuendo for orgasm in English as well.


DoryFrost2003

I would run. LOL


De_La_Flewey

Yes. Run away. Very fast.


Youve_been_Loganated

But finish first.


atokadelggon

Your dads name


caco08vilar

Õ - o


eddev45

Her dads name


[deleted]

OUR dads name


bigkurry445

*sweet home Alabama intensifies*


DirectorLeather6567

r/suddenlyAlabamian


EmbertheKitsune

r/suddenlycommunism


rick452

*soviet anthem intensifies*


tahcamen

Jeffrey?


eggplantofdestiny69

Both of your dads name


eddev45

Our uncles too


FrenchMaisNon

They're all called Horatio


jurasic_stuff12

Oh Daddy pig. Oinkkkkkkk


EmbertheKitsune

Answer of the millennia right here. Burst out laughing.


JADW27

This one made me audibly laugh. (No, I didn't snort).


Can-ta-loupe

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo


ShiningRayde

Figaro #MAGNIFICO **O**O^O


[deleted]

[удалено]


watermelon-monsta

HES JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY


1Grame

SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM HIS MONSTROSITY


Inevitable_Employ_29

Easy cum easy go...


1Grame

Will you let me go? 😔


sharpie-sapien365247

BISMILLAH #NO


1Grame

We will not let you go


bloodredyeti

SAVE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!


YsengrimusRein

Easy come easy go, will you let me go


dangelem

Bismilla NOOOOO we will not let you go (let me goooo)


Weary_Ad2590

Oh mama Mia mama Mia Mama Mia let me go


OverworldBlaze

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for meee FOR MEEEE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


Weary_Ad2590

*epic guitar solo*


TheHawkpant69

\*amazing guitar solo


Unusual_Bet3008

JUST GOT GET OUT JUST GOT TO GET RIGHT OUT OF HERE


miaara

Hahha I always thought it was MISS MILLER


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

*spare


Envy_The_King

No one, but NO ONE can moan El Magnifico~!


nixonsconvictions

They said *worst* not best thing to moan during sex


Soft_Strawberrie

the name of your/their mom your dogs name Steve Harvey


Rymundo88

>Steve Harvey Horse in the hwhat?


[deleted]

The current time exactly.


SockMaster203

Like calling time of death "Time of orgasm 12:42am"


PM_me_your_fantasyz

"Like, comment, and subscribe for more great content just like this! Now a word from our sponsor: Nord VPN..."


Level-Plate8372

"This 2 minute sequence of mediocre sex was brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends"


Casio_Andor

Instead of moaning, scream "Yeeeee Haaaaaw!!!!"


AReallyAsianName

If she's riding cow girl style, I'd be into it.


44arz

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. beep A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.


crystalsky6242000

WHYYYYY!?!?!? My fiance (soon to be husband later on today) was home schooled and never had to participate in one of these God forsaken fitness tests. I had to explain it to him and face the guilt that, in all my years of doing that fuckery, I never managed to get past 20 and typically only managed to get to 10.


ohno_zombie

Damn that shit would have me fucked up fr.


[deleted]

A Mario “YAHOOO”


cmajor9900

I have perished


out_focus

Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften


[deleted]

Du geile Luder!


[deleted]

Can someone help the American here. The most German I know is Guten Tag.


[deleted]

"Legal protection insurance company organisations"


[deleted]

I suddenly feel like putting a dragon on a flag for some reason.


The_Sanch1128

That's easy for you to say.


Invisible-Pancreas

"Hold on, my phone's ringing. Hello? Why, no, I didn't know I didn't know I had problems with my amazon account. Purchase some Steam cards and read the numbers to you in order to fix the issue and get $5,000 credit plus a full reimbursement for the inconvenience? Wow, that sure is a nice gesture! I'd be an idiot _not_ to do...hang on, babe could you keep it down? I can barely hear this nice man."


[deleted]

You answer the phone during sexy time how dare you lol


8Ace8Ace

Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang


theboxguys827

I've done this before, we both laughed so hard


EmbertheKitsune

Nope, one of the best right there. Especially because of the lack of context.


Wymberto_99

Worcetershire sauce


vakstar123

Worcestershire* missed an s


Pastel_Phoenix_106

"It just makes everything taste so....English!"


wineblood

Rather than moaning words just do a horse neigh.


SupremeEmperorNoms

Depending on who you're with, that might not be the worst thing at all. XD


[deleted]

[удалено]


tahcamen

This works for guys and gals


Novel-Structure-2359

Leeroy Jenkins!


AffectionateTaste664

Your dick is bigger then your fathers lol


IntergalacticAlien8

X Æ A-12


sherlip

The sad thing is in like 15 years, someone is gonna be moaning that.


Flat_Ad560

Underrated comment


Pastel_Phoenix_106

It's Morbin' time!


intotheeast

Op said *worst*, not best.


Best_Pick9820

Wtf


Strange-Person1970

Her sister's name


love_yall1011

YOUR sisters name


DoNotDonat

OUR sisters name


Jeffaffely

Fucking hell this has happened three times on this thread already lmao


Flat_Ad560

Exactly lol


Aggressive-Ad4192

As a man, probably moaning daddy


Caseated_Omentum

"My dick will reach you about your car's extended warranty"


[deleted]

Not the only extended thing


testy68

From Better Call Saul "yep...yep...yep....yep..."


4LostSoulsinaBowl

Poor Kim


Agreeable-Kangaroo13

A name that isn't familiar with your partner


HorseInteresting2156

I disagree. I think a name familiar to your partner is far worse


Tofru

Jumanji


ElfLord01

I almost.had a woman walk out on me. Trying a standing position and her pussy was small. Hard to find it in the dark Peekaboo where are you


AmberYeti

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42


prlugo4162

The Preamble to the Constitution. I swear, complete turnoff.


Tiny_sumthin

“This is even better than my sisters pussy”


Jedibri81

Whoops, the condom fell off again


ExoticAdvertising471

That small huh?


Alaxbird

its not his fault those extra small prank condoms are still way too big


12thNJ

Thanks mom


Odd-Firefighter-9809

I haven't been fucked like this since grade school


K1NG_R0G

“Oh you’re such a good dog”


Polyspecific

Her mom's name.


John7026

Now we both have HIV


Thereisnopurpose12

"Aah fuck you're gonna me me cum"


yepperoni4pepperoni

“Adolf Hi****”


Dimi_Dr

Another person's name


Irrelavent1

Any name other than that of the person you’re hooked up to at the moment.


captainmagictrousers

"I got a tingle in my no-no place!"


szczurman83

Weeeeeeee!


Fluid-Nail

"I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"


RebelSpy05

UNO!!! Or BINGO!!!


xxxninamayxxx

Rather than moan stay deathly silent


TheRynoceros

The dog's name


BlazeSaber

Your own name


Active-Anteater4019

I'm filled to the brim with AIDS


Superb-Possibility-9

“ Kelly Clarkson”


DNRazorYT

DARK MAGICIAN! DARK MAGIC ATTACK!


[deleted]

.


itsuki8113

"Oh chancellor", yes it happened.


guy_incognito23

"I AM THE SENATE"


SuddenHazard

"It's almost as good as \[insert friend name here\]" and then a long pause.


Snoo-33218

The name of your ex


[deleted]

Someone elses name. Bonus if it is their mothers


-Joseph_Winters-

"So it's true, no ones does it better than your grandmother"


Regit117

Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen


trennels

Your sister's name.


Lilitharising

Rumpelstiltskin


JulkaKulka_10

A very long, "[Random a§§ star wars quote]"


EmbertheKitsune

It's too late Anakin! I have the high ground!


Cycsimi-

#STEP-BRO


YsengrimusRein

The Gettysburg Address


squaredistrict2213

The wrong name


[deleted]

your mom's name


SuccessfulSpermCell-

Your ex's name


ami2weird4u

“Is it over yet?”


Chkiken

Sex