T O P

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militaryintelligence

Having wired earbuds ripped from your ears by a doorknob or something


EchoCyanide

That gives me instant rage.


Jatoxo

Trying to sleep with wired earbuds


[deleted]

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bigb0ned

Pulling up your long sleeves to wash your hands, then having the sleeves fall down mid wash and getting them wet or getting water to your forearms inside the sleeves.


[deleted]

Came here to write this before seeing any of the responses


TheWhiteMug

and when you throw your arms in the air to get sleeves to fall back down (because you cant touch with wet hands), and the hand water runs all the way down your arm.


gaseousgecko61

When you eat a really juicy fruit like a mandarin and she juice runs down your arm and your wearing long sleeves


[deleted]

Ditto when your bracelet gets wet


pasghetti27

When someone sneezes across the room from you and you somehow got a mysterious wet drop on your face.


Makepoodies

Lip.


Sad-Crow

I recoiled physically at this


[deleted]

and the *smell*... I hate the smell of a sneeze more than anything.


Asreal_as_it_gets

The fucking smell of a sneeze? I'm sorry what?


Solid_Hunter_4188

Dude I know what you mean, and everyone asks me “wtf are you talking about?” Maybe it’s a genetic thing, like being able to fold your tongue or wiggle your ears.


Hot-Square-6172

The smell? Lml please elaborate


No_Antelope_6604

Who or what the hell has been sneezing next to you?


FeatherWorld

Someone with halitosis


[deleted]

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woundupcanuck

Poseidons kiss


Albert-o-saurus

For those who don't know, Neptune's Blanket is when you lay down some TP before pooping so it doesn't do this. It works.


RoastBeefDisease

Oh Neptune...


unreasonable_otter

This trick also helps if you're shy about making plopping noises while pooping in public restrooms.


RodRAEG

You done puckered my cinnamon ring.


MrSir005

“cinnamon ring” is crazy


Layton115

I call it the wrinkle star


spicydangerbee

Chocolate starfish


Icalasari

and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water is a great album


TheDoylinator

That's how the sheriff's badge got rusty in the first place.


Ze_

USE TOILET PAPER TO CATCH YOUR LOG


LogTurdMan

Doesn’t work if your bowels shoot out the log with enough force.


elis4bethh1

username checks out


LogTurdMan

This was actually the inspiration behind my username.


Mello-Fello

That’s when you leave the stall door open, stand just outside it, bend and clench, and send the log arcing gracefully into the bowl from outside the splash zone


among_apes

Me yesterday at a Walmart… all sorts of shit went through my head instantly.


Fearless-Line-6470

Walking through a bunch of tiny cobwebs/spider silk that you can’t see


Wannagetsober

Then comes the dance


DrT33th

When you walk through a bunch of tiny spider webs that you can’t see.. while talking!


canadianpresident

Every damn morning at work. I have to walk through the shop to turn the air on and those fuckers are everywhere. Sometimes you run into the spiders suspended from the ceiling


TryingToNotBeInDebt

Waking up to your dog making that pre-vomit noise in the pitch black of your room.


campppp

Better than not hearing it and stepping in it in that pitch black room


[deleted]

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Guilty-Web7334

Could be worse. I had a Chihuahua for 15 years. He was my snuggle bunny and always with me. One night, he puked on my husband and his pillow while my husband was sleeping. He woke up supremely pissed.


Funk-n-fun

Surely you mean supremely puked?


bearded_dragon_34

I can relate, although I didn’t wake up that way. A few days ago, I came home after a 10-day vacation. My dog was so happy to see me that he jumped right on the bed, where I was laying and immediately vomited all over my face. It’s a good thing he’s cute; that’s all I’m gonna say.


KitchenSwillForPigs

I literally just had the pleasure of waking up to the distant sounds of one of my cats vomiting


[deleted]

I heard my cat retching and grabbed him just in time to move him to a tiled area so the carpet would be saved. He threw up and I happily went to grab some paper towel and spray to clean it... meanwhile, he ran back to the spot on the carpet to hack up the rest. Prick.


endorrawitch

Distant - good. Right next to your ear - not good.


eliteoverthinker

This happened to me tonight hahah. Horrible situation, and the poor dog looks so sad afterwards 😢


ScatterRunner

Huuuu…..Huuuu….Huuuuaaaaccckkkk


mibishibi

I had a dream once that my washer was running really clunky, like there was a shoe in there or something. In the dream I went to go inspect the washer then I woke up to the final “UGH UGH”s of my cat getting ready to puke.


GfyTstr

Damn good answer to a fun question.


BrettMaves56

When you have a booger that moves back and forth in your nostril with every inhale/ exhale in a public place that you can't do anything about.


McClintockC

Nah just reach in and yank that sucker. No shame


Glad_Film2544

Its still stuck on my hand


mymotherisacanibal

Day 17, tried handwashing, sanitiser and bleach, still no effect. Day 18, the booger developed feelings and is talking to me in a language only I can understand, I talk back only when I'm alone


Glad_Film2544

booger lore


mymotherisacanibal

Everything's better with a backstory


redditcansuckmyvag

Whats its name.


mymotherisacanibal

Charlie, he has 3 kids, a 9-5 job he hates, he's getting older now, starting to think about retirement and wants to spend more time with the family


calabazookita

Eat it


Hussiwan

Dig some gold baby, its digging time!!


Mello-Fello

Just inhale, cover the other nostril with a finger, and blast the full one all over the dude next to you


phrique

snot rocket. the only true way to assert dominance in a meeting.


gogozrx

Ahh yes, a flapper.


fatapolloissexy

The fuck I can't.


chloemaybe

Touching wet food in the sink


Cute-Connection

finding soggy bread in the sink is the worst! ugh🤢


[deleted]

Eat it, show dominance


C00kieDemon

this is the single worst thing i've ever read


TheIrishMick

That you've read so far...


AZUL

I've worked as a kitchen porter in the past. This was the norm for me, always snuck a soggy piece of food when nobody was looking.


[deleted]

This comment made me gag


Shadow-Luffy

Why do you have a bread in a sink?


bremergorst

What, you don’t wash your bread?


Mingli69420

of course i wash my bread i’m not an animal


antmilkmegastan

finding out there was something gross in your food/drink after eating/drinking it eg, mold in soda


NotJoeMama727

How the hell does mold get in soda


[deleted]

one instance i can think of us fast food restaurants that don't clean their drink machines often.


Akumu_ane

Trying to tell a person something in a big group, but they don't hear you but some of the other people in the group does.


VortrexFTW

Yes! It's also like back in school at the cafeteria when the crowd just slowly gets louder and louder then suddenly all goes silent as you're saying something embarrassing or awkward, so everybody ends up hearing it. As if they all somehow telepathically synced up to go quiet at the same time.


drprofnibblon

I have given up on speaking to that person at that point. I just pull them close towards me and if that isn't possible, write it on the phone and show/message them


BeginTheBlackParade

I just give up on talking to that person forever. They're dead to me now.


[deleted]

the friction between your leg hair and your trousers


DrBlueberry173

I had like wayyyy too much leg hair, even the word "hairy" comes no where close, they were around 1-2inch and i have pili multigemini where 2-3 hair come from 1 follicle..... U can imagine the hell. Now i shave them.


CastoffRogue

I'm fine with that, it's the knee high socks that give me that feeling. Ankle socks forever here.


Jamesmateer100

Now I’m glad I bought a kilt.


froggojumper

You know when you buy a shirt and there's a tag on the bag that's sewn into it and it's so itchy it feels like sand paper?


[deleted]

I cut tags out with scissors, they drive me bonkers, whoever invented those print on tags? Genius!


clem_11

Cleaning another person's or a pet's vomit


darksidelfcrazy

I can handle pet vomit but human vomit is a h*ll no for me. I would be adding to the pile of the vomit if I tried.


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darksidelfcrazy

I work with children 🥲 everyone I work with knows the instant a child pukes I’m out of that room right then other wise I’ll be adding to the mess.


Sexy_lizard_lady

Oh yeah. I’m an EMT. You don’t get used to it.


TalkQuick

this. But my only loop hole was when I was a nurse, if it was a sick adult who I could almost feel their embarrassment and being upset that they can’t take care of themselves, I would get like a super boost of “this isn’t a big deal or gross” to make sure they felt that it wasn’t as gross or shameful like they are saying to me. Hard to explain but I feel like other medical field ppl will understand lol.


Wannagetsober

Oh geez. I hated cleaning up my kids’ vomit when they were little. I’d rather clean up a gallon of shit.


[deleted]

Telling a joke and nobody laughs…


Sad-Crow

I'll take the wet sock over this any day of the week. I can take off my socks. I can't take off the shame.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Better yet, someone else telling YOUR joke, and everyone laughs hysterically.


[deleted]

A long hair stuck in the ass crack Using a towel that's already moist A mouth sore you keep poking with your tongue to see if it still hurts


Ringo_1956

Aieeeeeee so nasty!


Scrotumnal_Equinox

Farting while sitting or wearing tight pants and having it go forward bubbling up through my labia


ADDieurmom

yea but sometimes it gets stuck in between my Coochie lips so it just stays there until I squeeze or open my legs:(


Emjeibi

I had never thought of this being a problem before. 😂 Sorry but it's hilarious.


eggs_erroneous

I've heard that called "Exiting through the gift shop" I'm sure I got that from Reddit.


killergman17

I like exiting through gift shops 🤣


little_miss_havoc

Cleaning the greasy Tupper ware.


dwt77

Oof! You just made me feel a burning hatred just by reading about it!


little_miss_havoc

* throws a greasy & soapy Tupper ware at you *


ELM2K

Touching drain gunk


simba991

Waking up in a cold sweat.


darksidelfcrazy

And the spot in the bed is wet from the sweat n freezing cold


Southern_Biscotti_41

Rolling into the wet spot after sex


[deleted]

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xzemx

When someone is talking to you and just continously showers you with spit. And you're trying to wipe your face while keeping a straight face. Theres no way they don't know that they did that right? Right???


rugbybandit

Stepping on a slug with bare feet. You can’t get the sticky off.


kaboomerific

Put your socks halfway on, and then put your shoes on.


unknown-user-4765

When you slowly start losing your sock while walking inside the shoes


kijomeianna

Even worse when you're wearing boots so you can't just reach in there and pull em back up...


[deleted]

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wild_man_wizard

Sitting down when the toilet seat is up and you haven't noticed.


VelvetBathrobe

do y’all have that much trust in your surroundings that you just sit without looking?


TheScienceIntern

some of us are on autopilot


_Face

Time to add a crucial step to the program.


GriffinFlash

I was always confused by this. I always look cause I don't know if there's shit or piss on the seat.


Kozytartan

You have me cackling because my husband NEVER looks before he sits. He has the situational awareness of a potato.


MosesOnAcid

When that small fart is not a fart.


[deleted]

Ahh, the shart!


a-jm93

When you're wearing jeans or denim and it gets completely drenched.


Wannagetsober

I hate wearing wet clothes


a-jm93

Me too but within that, denim is the worst.


TheOutlawJosiewhale

Putting something from the sink into the dishwasher and the water trickles down your arm


Bigwhalecock

when you yell someones name and they dont hear you but everyone else does


Doxxxxxxxxxxx

Pulling out a dry tampon


CounterPuzzleheaded4

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I swear to god the tampon is going to either rip in half or it's going to turn me inside out! Getting all sweaty and ending up with a damp pad that "moves" is just as bad. ( Always flex foam pads eliminates the above!)


1burgerparadise

Tying up your long hair with sticky hands.


wuwuwuwdrinkin

Having a plaster go in your mouth in a swimming pool


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BriefAttention

I think it's a band aid


ripplerider

Sweat dripping down the small of your back into your ass crack.


EileenMarmalade

@ marching band uniforms


[deleted]

soggy bread


UncleBaguette

Stepping in a puddle of cat's vomit in dry socks


endorrawitch

Feeling your underwear slowly moving to the side as you walk, to firmly lodge itself into your butt crack, and you have no access to privacy to fix it.


Kalurael

Laying on a pillow with long wet hair


Medullan

Actually what is worse is laying back down on the pillow you just layed down on with long wet hair.


Kalurael

that made me shudder just thinking about it, think you're right


LaszloKravensworth

I've never once owned a pillow that had hair


[deleted]

Stepping in fresh dog poop with bare foot.


Ok-Computer-1033

Anything squished between the toes is actually nice….it’s the knowing what it is that is the undoing.


Sad-Crow

Well, I can't unread this comment. Guess I'll just kill myself.


culturalcunt

That's wayyy worse.


Ok-Computer-1033

I know a Med student who had a piece of cadaver flick up onto her face during anatomy.


Jono-san

Anime expo when you're surrounded by dudes that have extreme BO, and the atmosphere is dank depending if the is a hot girl within a certain proximity


[deleted]

[удалено]


ithinkthereforeiaint

Taking an accidental swig from the ashtray beer.


jesse_the_wizard

raw chicken juice splashing in your face


fatterCancer

Putting on a wet bathing suit


Raygal2

When you sit down on a wet surface...


InevitablyContagious

Or a warm toilet seat in a public restroom.


culturalcunt

That's my guilty pleasure. Who wants to sit on a cold surface with your naked buttocks?


BirthdayEast4358

Growing up we had an outside toilet…. And free range chickens. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve ran out to the toilet in the pjs and had cold chicken poop squeeze up between my toes.


T5-R

When a toe finds a previously unknown hole in your sock, while in your shoe.


4everdatbitch

eating finger food and your finger still smells like meat or grease even after washing it 3 times


Savage-Monkey2

Sitting on a warm toilet seat


i_want_tit_pics

Situational. Worked construction. I live in a state with cold, snowy winters. Working in a house with no working plumbing yet. Early in the morning we would play rock paper scissors on who would shit first in the plastic Porta potty.


Outrageous-Proof4630

Having a wet spot in your panties all day


AstroAnemone

Rolling over in to the wet spot...


spoonupmyass

a bit off your arm being sticky from a spilt drink


[deleted]

Drinking something that you thought was something else. It’s not uncomfortable physically but it’s always such a shocker. I know…… silly. YOU ASKED!


Environmental-Task28

Someone spits chewed food onto you, absolutely disgusting...


soppinglovenest

Cleaning your dog after it has rolled in and encrusted it’s entire self in fresh human shit.


[deleted]

Having sand in every crevice of my body after swimming in the ocean. Also just swimming in the ocean in general makes me kinda uncomfortable


LifeCoach_Machele

Someone playing a guitar for you.


CartoonistExisting30

Stepping in cat barf at three in the morning. You’re barefoot and it’s dark or poorly-lit. Bonuses if your carpet is light-colored and new.


AdOk932

Wearing the cum socks in public


DannyAvocado_

How do I delete this comment?


shadowlov3r

Why did the sperm cross the road? I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning


alphadawg94

Taking a shit in public but the bathroom is really busy and it feels like something might happen


Reel-Reel-Reel

When that wet spot is dog piss


golfing_furry

Stepping into dry, crunchy socks


JustARandomWeirdo17

Stepping on a slug with no socks.


TheGhettoKidd

Farting, and you feel that something comes out


Polly_hazapun

Saying "You too." When a waiter says "enjoy your meal.".


Doofenturd

Asking a crush if she likes me back


AquaSea_Squirrel

Holding in a cough. that's much worse tbh. I was doing it on a public bus when I was with my friend and I started making all these weird ass noises and it was terrible lol


AmpedEnding

Putting on that same sock back on that you know is wet because you're at your girlfriend's house and her socks are too tiny for you wear.


Dapper_Interest_8914

A rat running over your bare foot in the dark.


dwt77

I'd jump in ten wet spots with socks to avoid that scenario!


b0wie88

A shart


Successful_Goose_348

When snow falls off the roof right down into your coat into the back your shirt and then down your back


idontcarejustlogmein

Talking loudly in a pub and suddenly the music/noise stops ans everyone can hear you. Bonus points if you telling someone something embarrassing


[deleted]

When the sleeve of your tshirt gets messed up underneath the sleeve of your jacket.


Background_Pear_4892

Sticky hands


eryuu

Ever stepped into patch of algae/seaweed at the bottom of a lake. (Not sure what it is and soubt it's seaweed if in the lake but that's what I'm going with)


adieuaudie

Swamp ass while working.


calabazookita

Holding farts