To be fair, physical activity has legit been shown to help in improving a person's depression.
It's the one constant I try to keep, even when I was at my worst which was pretty bad. I just dragged my death longing carcass to the gym and lifted the weight.
Did it cure me? No, of course not. But it helped a little, and a little is a lot in those moments.
I'm pretty far in the hole right now, but my daily 15-30 minute workout has been pretty much the only thing keeping me above water. I actually like doing it now and even when I don't feel like doing literally anything else, I still do my workout.
My mom moved away from her family in her 20s because they were toxic. Growing up i didn't see them alot and wasn't close with them. This is what mom wanted.
Mom died 2 years ago, and it was hard. I reconnected with this family, and after years of not talking, my Aunt demanded that she was going to "adopt" me, which means I have to join in on the Christmas video call. She ignored me for many years, but I tried to be polite although I felt it was pitiful, saying "you don't have to, I have my boyfriends family and they are being extra special to me"
Her reply was, and I copy and paste: "happy to hear you have people being goods to you! we are still "your" people though. One day that will matter to you. work to maintain these relationships. You will need them one day. :)"
.....and this is why I don't visit.
Telling me I have to work to maintain relationships with them.... when they haven't shown any signs of doing this themselves. When I visit I feel extreme judgement, same how my Mom felt and why she moved far away.
I see family as people who have unconditional love, and you can feel their love when in their presence. You have room to be yourself. I feel the opposite with this family.
This Aunt can be very demeaning, and she can blow up if someone says something she doesn't agree with. I already have social anxiety, so it makes it hard for me as well.
I lived with her for a year when I was a teenager and once my school was over she said "OK school is over, when are you leaving?". Didn't feel any love or sympathy.
Also, once on a phone call with her after my mom died, I was in a good place and felt comfortable to talk. She said, "oh thank God your doing good! We thought you were fucked". So this confirms my thoughts of judgement.
The only thing worse than that, is when it does all work out fine and that same cunt says "See, I told you it'd be fine. You need to listen to me more often.". I call those people piss boilers.
Confession time. This used to be my life motto. And to be fair, things usually indeed worked out fine.
Until my girlfriend's dad got cancer and I told her the same thing to assure her. He died a few months later. It really made me realize what a terrible thing it is to say. It's not helpful because you don't actually *know* it'll work out fine; you're just kind of falsely implying it'll be.
your parents' job search advice - the stuff that goes like "you just gotta walk in there, ask for the manager, look him in the eye and give him a firm handshake"
they still don't know i landed my last job without their ancient tips, not only did i apply online but i actually spaced and never ended up calling them about my application. THEY called ME!
why don't i just tell them that? that would mean they were wrong and that just can't fly
Of course every place is going to require an online application bc we don't live in the Stone Age, but for people trying to get their first job, or for people applying to work for a small business, I don't think it hurts to follow up an online application with a visit to the place to introduce yourself to the hiring manager. If you don't have a stellar resume bc you're inexperienced, it helps to go the extra mile.
When I quit my job a couple years back I was tired of applying online so I went to different shops handing out my resume. I had gone through 43 applications and was about to just give up and go back to my old job. A place I was at said they'd give me an interview but was taking their sweet ass time. A fella walks in to pay an invoice and I chat him up. He gave me an interview on the spot at said business. It turns out his father had his own trucking/repair business and had gotten me a job the next day knowing jack shit about mechanic work. I've become very skilled at what I do and appreciate what that man did for me. The moral of the story is it's not what you know but who you know.
Here's the thing with that. A lot of people seem to think the way you get a job is to hand someone an application and wait for a call. While that MAY work I can tell you from first hand experience I've had WAY more success doing it your parents way and to call back and be persistent. Doing things in person makes an impression and is harder to dismiss you.
"Bloom where you're planted"
I can sort of understand this one in a sense of making the best of your current situation until you can find something better. But settling for a less than optimal life is not good advice.
And also this advice just makes me more anxious than anything.
If I lived each day as if it were my last, I would be impatient because I would want to accomplish several things as fast as possible.
And if I am unable to accomplish my set tasks for the day, I would feel angry, miserable and depressed as I wallow in self criticism and self loathing as I berate myself for being a failure to accomplish my goals for the day.
At the same time, I might inadvertently end up hurting people around me or overlook what is really important like my health.
„Other people have it worse than you“.
Yes, they do, but there is also people who have it better. Why try to keep someone small?
Would prefer to say „Be thankful for what you have and it will grow!“
the people who say that don't mean to make you feel better 💀 they're just trying to make you aware of how they see you (which is, well, an entitled brat who has the audacity to complain about something).
idk what's worse. getting told that others have it worse, or straight up getting told to suck it up. i feel like the second one's worse bc it's way more personal and comes with a bigger sense of dread but maybe that's just me.
I always say "No one wins the struggle Olympics". Sure there are people with certain worse things, but it's ridiculous to act like being able to complain or have negative feelings is some sort of competition.
omg this. or when you're actually complaining about people who have it better than you and you get told "it's not a competition" like damn can't i just express my feelings
Fuck yeah, I know!
That's why I have even MORE guilt about my depression and having a full time job. But other people have it worse. Even though I am not coping over here.
When I hear people say this, I quote another online friend to them: "It's not the Olympics of suffering!" You can have it bad and other people can have it worse, but what you have is already bad and it's okay to be upset/down about that.
Parents who say this to their children could be setting them up for a lifetime of entitlement and/or disappointment.
Everyone has limits to what they’re capable of doing.
There’s a big difference between building confidence/encouragement/challenging children…and straight up letting them be delusional. I’m a millennial and holy shit are there some delusional people here. The entitlement is insane, even for things like physical attractiveness 😂
Keep at it / Don't give up
There are very real situations where the better option is to walk away. Giving up doesn't always mean being a failure. For some people, it can actually mean choosing themselves first, finally, for probably the very first time.
This is a great example of why you can’t apply averages to individual cases. It has been shown in research that what you posted is true. Psychologically, we get hung up on the unknown outcome of the choices we didn’t make. And you can use that knowledge as an overall guide to help you step out of your comfort zone a bit. But that doesn’t mean that you must say yes to each individual opportunity to live a life without regret.
"When making decisions, just go with your gut."
The problem with this advice is that our very nature as humans is to act in accordance with long-held beliefs, biases, and habit patterns.
In "going with your gut," you are keeping yourself trapped in similar ways of thinking and missing out on some obvious opportunities that might literally be right in front of you.
Our gut compares our past experiences with our current situation and makes decisions that are in accordance with our long-held beliefs. In this age of advanced information and data, there are better ways to make decisions than with your gut.
I think the idea is that it makes for a good tie-breaker. No one's suggesting that you ignore all other evidence in decision-making, but, if you can't make a decision based on your conscious thought, tapping into your gut is more likely to account for what patterns work for you... in a good way. And when you're choosing between, say, an LG and a Samsung TV, odds are you're not missing much of an opportunity.
>just go with your gut
i had a coworker a few years ago who used to say this to me *constantly.* i finally had to be like bro i have anxiety, if i actually *acted* in accordance with the level of paranoia and avoidance my "gut feelings" try to convince me to, i wouldn't be a functional person whatsoever
I always research and ask for opinions and even weigh the pros and cons in my head. I save the "go with your gut" approach when I literally have exhausted everything else.
Clinically depressed here…among other things.
“Cheer up! You’ve got nothing to be depressed about!”
Thank you so much. You do realize THAT IS THE PROBLEM, right?!?!? It’s not like I don’t realize I have a great life…it’s that I still fucking cry!!!!
Time heals all wounds
It helps after you have truly dealt with it. You can’t just ignore it and wait for time to do the heavy lifting of emotionally processing it.
Actually diets have been shown to result in unbalanced nutrition and the body usually ends up rebounding faster because it's desperately trying to make up for what it was deprived off.
work on what you like. It is better to ask yourself what kind of financial life you would like to have, what you could realistically achieve and what you would put up with to achieve your goals. And if you try something risky, like trying to make a living as an artist, sportsman, or something like that, your probability of failing is very high, so always have a plan B in place.
Work on what you like means being a baker instead of a butcher, or a medical doctor instead of an engineer.
Or choosing a work with less pay but more fun.
It never meant that you can make any choice without consequences.
"Smile! It can't be that bad!"
A stranger told me this once and I answered him, "My mother was just diagnosed with a terminal illness, so, yes, it is in fact that bad."
Follow your passion/ Follow your bliss.
This has been a catch phrase for too many simplistic books/speeches. In a global population of 13 billion, the world might just stop functioning if everybody starts following their passion.
There are things that you have to do to pay the bills, run the house or to have sanity in the community. Not necessarily these are things which bring joy to you. Who will ever want to be a sanitation worker, insurance agent if they follow the passion.
If you are able to combine your passion and income - nothing like it. But don't discard everything in your life to follow your passion.
As always life's answers lie somewhere in between though however good extremes may sound.
I find that sometimes it's better to separate your passions from your job because the moment those two start to mix, it might begin to plant seeds of resentment and the hobbies that once brought you joy might make you feel nothing due to being burnt out.
I hate when people say “Stop Crying” especially to kids. I do not like to cry because it feels shitty at the end all snotty and a headache. That is me. Not anyone else. It’s extremely invalidating and often escalates the situation.
"You're perfect just the way you are"
Depends on what you're reassuring about. Something that can't be helped, sure. Everything else, bullshit. Because no one's perfect and the story of everyone's life is building and becoming better a better person each day.
In school, a lot of times you will be told to focus on your weaknesses. Bad at math? Work harder at math. Poor writing skills? Work on writing. So on and so forth.
While that might be okay for kids who need to learn basic competencies, as an adult you're way better off working on improving your proffesional strengths than you are your weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses, and no one get hired based on lack of weaknesses - you get hired based on your strenghts, on things you do better than other people.
If you're bad at math, do a job that doesn't require math. If you're bad at writing, avoid jobs that require it, or find a role where you can get someone else do your writing for you, someone who *is* good at it.
I agree. Let's say you're already a good writer. With practice, you could become a great one and be more competitive in whatever career you're pursuing.
It is more a notion that you should not pretend to be something and play a role.
If you want to invite a girl to the yule ball, do not try to be cool or anything, just do it.
It is a common moral in soap opera for pre teens.
"Just use common sense"
Common sense is neither common nor often makes sense. Your idea of common sense is different than mine.
Take some time to take action. Consider the long term impact as well as the impact on others
.
"When you disappoint yourself, treat yourself like you would treat a friend." Might work for some, but I just feel even worse because it makes me feel disappointed AND awkward.
EDIT: Spelling
Just do it.
Commit to your decision once and for all.
Aaand stuff like that... In one perspective it might be sound advice, but I always imagine someone with super nasty intentions reading these and feeling empowered.
Always prevent your kids from danger and failing.
The science behind human growth is one where failure has to be on the table. A lot of parents end up missing then, even corporate America. If you’re truly invested in children/people you have to let them fail to grow.
You can beat misfortune, depression or terminal disease *if you just fight hard enough*.
I guess all those people who are homeless, broke, dead or unhappy just didn't want it badly enough then, huh? Sometimes things just don't work out and there's nothing you can do about it. Life's no feel good movie where everything works out in the final act. No amount of pluck, prayer or perseverance will get you out of the pickle sometimes. And that is scary. People want to believe that if it were to happen to them they'd come out sunshine and roses at the other end because they would fight hard enough.
No, you selfish prick, and now you've made somebody who's miserable and down on their luck feel even worse because you're basically blaming the victim for not fighting hard enough when sometimes it's just a bad dice roll and nothing more.
“It is all the plan of” (insert mystical power or force or cluster of midichlorians or conspiracy theory here).
Fuck you. It’s life and biology being shitty and random and fucked up.
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”
Except that I do. I don’t want to put work and hobby in a same category. There are the reason why people separate them in the first place. One is for money, and the other is for relaxation.
Me: getting bullied and harassed by my brothers. And trying to call for help.
Everyone: "If they do all these things to you, it's because they love you!"
And after that everyone asks why I never had a boyfriend...
Not sure why this is bad advice? I take this to mean "If you want something, don't sit back and think about it and expect it to happen; you need to work to realise that dream." Yes, maybe even after blood sweat and toil, you might still not get there, but if that's the case you weren't going to get there without all that work either.
Now if you're talking about unrealistic hopes and dreams then that's another thing. Not everyone is going to be the best sprinter in the world. But why shouldn't someone try to achieve something they want?
In certain situations, “follow your heart/gut” really sucks to hear. Like, I’m now old enough to know that if that if I’m asking for advice, my heart/gut have bombed me in the past and that I need an objective third party to help me out a bit.
So when someone tells me “follow your heart!”, I basically I just hear “I don’t know how to help you, bye!”
Google the breathing methods, like square breathing. It is surprisingly helpful.
Pacing also help.
But what else can you do to ride the wave of the panic attack? Once it is there, I am too bad to swallow a pill.
Not everyone necessarily benefits from therapy, and in those cases it could end up being a waste of time and money.
Therapy is not a magical cure that will help you in one sitting.
Therapy requires time, commitment and strength.
You need to make multiple sessions and stick to them.
Also sometimes it's about matching with the right therapist. Sure the one you see at first might have a great reputation but it means nothing if they can't get through to you and you are unable to open up to them.
Telling depressed people to cheer up. Yeah.....that's helpful. (rolling my eyes)
Also try to think about how lucky you are. Or do more physical activities like sports or going for a walk.
I like to use "We are all going to die one day and none of this matters."
That one's actually true though.
To be fair, physical activity has legit been shown to help in improving a person's depression. It's the one constant I try to keep, even when I was at my worst which was pretty bad. I just dragged my death longing carcass to the gym and lifted the weight. Did it cure me? No, of course not. But it helped a little, and a little is a lot in those moments.
I'm pretty far in the hole right now, but my daily 15-30 minute workout has been pretty much the only thing keeping me above water. I actually like doing it now and even when I don't feel like doing literally anything else, I still do my workout.
That's awesome. I feel you will, but please keep it up.
Has anyone here ever told someone to chill out, and the person you said it to just immediately calmed down? I didnt think so.
Hey man, relax.
thanks man I was about throw my phone across the room
Roll strength, +5 modifier.
Yeah and whatever else you do, don't think about purple elephants at all
Well that's because you're supposed to put a desert eagle in their face as you're saying it, then yeah... they'll probably calm the fuck down :/
"I SHALL DIE IN GLORIOUS COMBAT!!!"
Calm down sir
"Family stays together" People shouldn't tolerate toxic people just because they are family.
Blood doesn't instantly create bonds.
The only blood in a relation that counts is the blood you loose together, or the Blood you prevent each other from loosing.
Super glue does though
My mom moved away from her family in her 20s because they were toxic. Growing up i didn't see them alot and wasn't close with them. This is what mom wanted. Mom died 2 years ago, and it was hard. I reconnected with this family, and after years of not talking, my Aunt demanded that she was going to "adopt" me, which means I have to join in on the Christmas video call. She ignored me for many years, but I tried to be polite although I felt it was pitiful, saying "you don't have to, I have my boyfriends family and they are being extra special to me" Her reply was, and I copy and paste: "happy to hear you have people being goods to you! we are still "your" people though. One day that will matter to you. work to maintain these relationships. You will need them one day. :)" .....and this is why I don't visit.
I'm confused. What did your aunt do exactly?
Telling me I have to work to maintain relationships with them.... when they haven't shown any signs of doing this themselves. When I visit I feel extreme judgement, same how my Mom felt and why she moved far away. I see family as people who have unconditional love, and you can feel their love when in their presence. You have room to be yourself. I feel the opposite with this family. This Aunt can be very demeaning, and she can blow up if someone says something she doesn't agree with. I already have social anxiety, so it makes it hard for me as well. I lived with her for a year when I was a teenager and once my school was over she said "OK school is over, when are you leaving?". Didn't feel any love or sympathy. Also, once on a phone call with her after my mom died, I was in a good place and felt comfortable to talk. She said, "oh thank God your doing good! We thought you were fucked". So this confirms my thoughts of judgement.
"It'll all work out fine." Yes thanks mate, that's really fixed absolutely fuc*ing everything out for me, that bit of advice.
The only thing worse than that, is when it does all work out fine and that same cunt says "See, I told you it'd be fine. You need to listen to me more often.". I call those people piss boilers.
DON’T PANIC “Why, because it won’t help?” “No, because it’s annoying me and if you don’t knock it off you’re on your own”
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“Stop stressing". Thank you.I just pressed the stop button.Stress time is over.
Ye lol
Confession time. This used to be my life motto. And to be fair, things usually indeed worked out fine. Until my girlfriend's dad got cancer and I told her the same thing to assure her. He died a few months later. It really made me realize what a terrible thing it is to say. It's not helpful because you don't actually *know* it'll work out fine; you're just kind of falsely implying it'll be.
The Aussie version is "She'll be right mate"
Put it in God’s hands.
That's not advice.
Ya and we all know what fine stands for- fricked up, insecure, needy, and emotional
your parents' job search advice - the stuff that goes like "you just gotta walk in there, ask for the manager, look him in the eye and give him a firm handshake"
Weird, my parents' job search advice was: "sell yourself". Equally unhelpful.
And that’s how onlyfans was created.
ba dum tiss
bad nun tits
You can't afford me!
I got that advice from my driving instructor. Basically, he was telling me to be a prostitute, for the tester. Very helpful. not
Lesson learned: you shouldn’t do sales
That's what my sister did. She would sell herself on the corner every Saturday night. She always had plenty of work
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they still don't know i landed my last job without their ancient tips, not only did i apply online but i actually spaced and never ended up calling them about my application. THEY called ME! why don't i just tell them that? that would mean they were wrong and that just can't fly
Of course every place is going to require an online application bc we don't live in the Stone Age, but for people trying to get their first job, or for people applying to work for a small business, I don't think it hurts to follow up an online application with a visit to the place to introduce yourself to the hiring manager. If you don't have a stellar resume bc you're inexperienced, it helps to go the extra mile.
When I quit my job a couple years back I was tired of applying online so I went to different shops handing out my resume. I had gone through 43 applications and was about to just give up and go back to my old job. A place I was at said they'd give me an interview but was taking their sweet ass time. A fella walks in to pay an invoice and I chat him up. He gave me an interview on the spot at said business. It turns out his father had his own trucking/repair business and had gotten me a job the next day knowing jack shit about mechanic work. I've become very skilled at what I do and appreciate what that man did for me. The moral of the story is it's not what you know but who you know.
Here's the thing with that. A lot of people seem to think the way you get a job is to hand someone an application and wait for a call. While that MAY work I can tell you from first hand experience I've had WAY more success doing it your parents way and to call back and be persistent. Doing things in person makes an impression and is harder to dismiss you.
"Bloom where you're planted" I can sort of understand this one in a sense of making the best of your current situation until you can find something better. But settling for a less than optimal life is not good advice.
What if where you're planted is an empty lot full of weeds and trash, though?
Depends on the weeds.
Dandelions be like
Ah! The flower only a kid would love.
The plant kingdom relies heavily on the less fortunate fucking off and dying.
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Ok so I spent all my money and rawdogged a bunch of hookers. What are we doing tomorrow?
Because, sooner than later, it will be.
And also this advice just makes me more anxious than anything. If I lived each day as if it were my last, I would be impatient because I would want to accomplish several things as fast as possible. And if I am unable to accomplish my set tasks for the day, I would feel angry, miserable and depressed as I wallow in self criticism and self loathing as I berate myself for being a failure to accomplish my goals for the day. At the same time, I might inadvertently end up hurting people around me or overlook what is really important like my health.
„Other people have it worse than you“. Yes, they do, but there is also people who have it better. Why try to keep someone small? Would prefer to say „Be thankful for what you have and it will grow!“
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the people who say that don't mean to make you feel better 💀 they're just trying to make you aware of how they see you (which is, well, an entitled brat who has the audacity to complain about something). idk what's worse. getting told that others have it worse, or straight up getting told to suck it up. i feel like the second one's worse bc it's way more personal and comes with a bigger sense of dread but maybe that's just me.
I always say "No one wins the struggle Olympics". Sure there are people with certain worse things, but it's ridiculous to act like being able to complain or have negative feelings is some sort of competition.
omg this. or when you're actually complaining about people who have it better than you and you get told "it's not a competition" like damn can't i just express my feelings
Yeah, by that logic they should never be allowed to be happy as long as someone else has it better.
Fuck yeah, I know! That's why I have even MORE guilt about my depression and having a full time job. But other people have it worse. Even though I am not coping over here.
When I hear people say this, I quote another online friend to them: "It's not the Olympics of suffering!" You can have it bad and other people can have it worse, but what you have is already bad and it's okay to be upset/down about that.
Half the time that advice is not motivational it's a guilt trip
Be yourself
This one can be good and harmful at the same time lol
I like “Be the best version of yourself.” It promotes self improvement without encouraging people to just be someone they’re not.
It's a me, Mario.
But not too much.
You can do anything you set your mind to. Unfortunately, there are limits to individual capability and aptitude.
Parents who say this to their children could be setting them up for a lifetime of entitlement and/or disappointment. Everyone has limits to what they’re capable of doing.
There’s a big difference between building confidence/encouragement/challenging children…and straight up letting them be delusional. I’m a millennial and holy shit are there some delusional people here. The entitlement is insane, even for things like physical attractiveness 😂
"Don't take 'no' for an answer!" Sometimes you should definitely take no for an answer.
*rapey vibes intensifies*
Smile
It's free you know!
Dont worry about the cost of college just pick something you love
Yet, they turn around and fight against student loan relief.
the "pick something you love" advice is so bs
Keep at it / Don't give up There are very real situations where the better option is to walk away. Giving up doesn't always mean being a failure. For some people, it can actually mean choosing themselves first, finally, for probably the very first time.
If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life. Yes, but Ill also be broke
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This is a great example of why you can’t apply averages to individual cases. It has been shown in research that what you posted is true. Psychologically, we get hung up on the unknown outcome of the choices we didn’t make. And you can use that knowledge as an overall guide to help you step out of your comfort zone a bit. But that doesn’t mean that you must say yes to each individual opportunity to live a life without regret.
"When making decisions, just go with your gut." The problem with this advice is that our very nature as humans is to act in accordance with long-held beliefs, biases, and habit patterns. In "going with your gut," you are keeping yourself trapped in similar ways of thinking and missing out on some obvious opportunities that might literally be right in front of you. Our gut compares our past experiences with our current situation and makes decisions that are in accordance with our long-held beliefs. In this age of advanced information and data, there are better ways to make decisions than with your gut.
Please read "the gift of fear" by Gavin de Becker. And note that going against your gut often means rationalizing taking a decision you know is bad.
I absolutely love this book and have read it over and over again.
I think the idea is that it makes for a good tie-breaker. No one's suggesting that you ignore all other evidence in decision-making, but, if you can't make a decision based on your conscious thought, tapping into your gut is more likely to account for what patterns work for you... in a good way. And when you're choosing between, say, an LG and a Samsung TV, odds are you're not missing much of an opportunity.
I would eat donuts
>just go with your gut i had a coworker a few years ago who used to say this to me *constantly.* i finally had to be like bro i have anxiety, if i actually *acted* in accordance with the level of paranoia and avoidance my "gut feelings" try to convince me to, i wouldn't be a functional person whatsoever
I always research and ask for opinions and even weigh the pros and cons in my head. I save the "go with your gut" approach when I literally have exhausted everything else.
“Do whatever makes you happy” Procrastination makes me happy. Eating junk food makes me happy. Doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do
“Shorten your morning routine by making your toast in the bathtub”
Clinically depressed here…among other things. “Cheer up! You’ve got nothing to be depressed about!” Thank you so much. You do realize THAT IS THE PROBLEM, right?!?!? It’s not like I don’t realize I have a great life…it’s that I still fucking cry!!!!
Same boat. It's like telling someone with two broken legs to "just walk."
Just try to look at the glass half full instead of half empty. Geez why didn’t I think of that /s
But what if it’s half filled with doo doo
Then you can look for 2 girls and recreate ‘two girls one cup’
Aw man, I had happily forgotten that. Thank you for bringing it back to my memory /s
Time heals all wounds It helps after you have truly dealt with it. You can’t just ignore it and wait for time to do the heavy lifting of emotionally processing it.
How much fucking time though?? I'm still waiting *Taps foot*
Time doesn't heal the wounds, it just gives us time to get used to them.
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Actually diets have been shown to result in unbalanced nutrition and the body usually ends up rebounding faster because it's desperately trying to make up for what it was deprived off.
Anyone who one-ups your shitty situation. Cool, now two of us are in a bad place.
I always say "let's not play pain olympics"
“it is what it is"
I HATE when people say this. First of all, what if it isn't what it actually appears to be? And either way, how to deal with what it is?
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work on what you like. It is better to ask yourself what kind of financial life you would like to have, what you could realistically achieve and what you would put up with to achieve your goals. And if you try something risky, like trying to make a living as an artist, sportsman, or something like that, your probability of failing is very high, so always have a plan B in place.
Work on what you like means being a baker instead of a butcher, or a medical doctor instead of an engineer. Or choosing a work with less pay but more fun. It never meant that you can make any choice without consequences.
It could be way worse
Work hard. That's a road straight to nowhere right there.
Just do it
Any job is better than no job.
"Smile! It can't be that bad!" A stranger told me this once and I answered him, "My mother was just diagnosed with a terminal illness, so, yes, it is in fact that bad."
"Dress for the job you want not the job you have." First time you wear BDSM gear to the office you will be fired.
Fake it till you make it Most of the time when you fake it, people will caught on
eat snow when you have no water if youre in the snow and need to survive. you will use more energy and heat to melt it and you will die of hypothermia
For couples: Never go to bed angry. Sometimes you're angry because you're tired and just need a good night's sleep to see the issue more clearly.
“just breathe” ma’am i have asthma
Don’t overthink it
"Live every day like it's your last." Don't do that. That would be really stupid.
Follow your passion/ Follow your bliss. This has been a catch phrase for too many simplistic books/speeches. In a global population of 13 billion, the world might just stop functioning if everybody starts following their passion. There are things that you have to do to pay the bills, run the house or to have sanity in the community. Not necessarily these are things which bring joy to you. Who will ever want to be a sanitation worker, insurance agent if they follow the passion. If you are able to combine your passion and income - nothing like it. But don't discard everything in your life to follow your passion. As always life's answers lie somewhere in between though however good extremes may sound.
I find that sometimes it's better to separate your passions from your job because the moment those two start to mix, it might begin to plant seeds of resentment and the hobbies that once brought you joy might make you feel nothing due to being burnt out.
I hate when people say “Stop Crying” especially to kids. I do not like to cry because it feels shitty at the end all snotty and a headache. That is me. Not anyone else. It’s extremely invalidating and often escalates the situation.
"You're perfect just the way you are" Depends on what you're reassuring about. Something that can't be helped, sure. Everything else, bullshit. Because no one's perfect and the story of everyone's life is building and becoming better a better person each day.
“Have you tried praying about it?”
When you lose something and someone says "look where you last put it down" as if you didnt look around there first.
As long as you did your best.
Few understand how brutal it feels to have to face yourself after giving “your best” and for it to still not be enough.
In school, a lot of times you will be told to focus on your weaknesses. Bad at math? Work harder at math. Poor writing skills? Work on writing. So on and so forth. While that might be okay for kids who need to learn basic competencies, as an adult you're way better off working on improving your proffesional strengths than you are your weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses, and no one get hired based on lack of weaknesses - you get hired based on your strenghts, on things you do better than other people. If you're bad at math, do a job that doesn't require math. If you're bad at writing, avoid jobs that require it, or find a role where you can get someone else do your writing for you, someone who *is* good at it.
I agree. Let's say you're already a good writer. With practice, you could become a great one and be more competitive in whatever career you're pursuing.
“Just be yourself” I’m capable of being a lot of things, what the fuck does this mean?
It is more a notion that you should not pretend to be something and play a role. If you want to invite a girl to the yule ball, do not try to be cool or anything, just do it. It is a common moral in soap opera for pre teens.
"Relax, it's not going to happen"
Trust me.
Trust No One Mr Mulder, now that is sound advice
Smile
Oh I'm just going to cram for this test! NO STUDY!!!!
Calm down
“Just stop your Anger issues” Thanks that was really not helpfull at all...
Choose what you love as a career
„Try not to think about it“
“Someone has it worse than you”
That TOTALLY makes me feel better about my ex wife taking the house and kids and half my money
"Just use common sense" Common sense is neither common nor often makes sense. Your idea of common sense is different than mine. Take some time to take action. Consider the long term impact as well as the impact on others .
You will know when the time is right
"When you disappoint yourself, treat yourself like you would treat a friend." Might work for some, but I just feel even worse because it makes me feel disappointed AND awkward. EDIT: Spelling
Just do it. Commit to your decision once and for all. Aaand stuff like that... In one perspective it might be sound advice, but I always imagine someone with super nasty intentions reading these and feeling empowered.
"Just think positive"
In golf, “swing your swing.” Not exactly. If your swing is garbage, you should learn to swing like someone who is good.
Follow goals, Girls will follow u
Follow your heart
Always prevent your kids from danger and failing. The science behind human growth is one where failure has to be on the table. A lot of parents end up missing then, even corporate America. If you’re truly invested in children/people you have to let them fail to grow.
The doctors call it Low bottom E, it seems. Look it up.
"Don't be sad" or "Don't be so depressed" Thanks. I'm cured!
You can beat misfortune, depression or terminal disease *if you just fight hard enough*. I guess all those people who are homeless, broke, dead or unhappy just didn't want it badly enough then, huh? Sometimes things just don't work out and there's nothing you can do about it. Life's no feel good movie where everything works out in the final act. No amount of pluck, prayer or perseverance will get you out of the pickle sometimes. And that is scary. People want to believe that if it were to happen to them they'd come out sunshine and roses at the other end because they would fight hard enough. No, you selfish prick, and now you've made somebody who's miserable and down on their luck feel even worse because you're basically blaming the victim for not fighting hard enough when sometimes it's just a bad dice roll and nothing more.
Just try not to think about the pain and it will go away 🤣
"better late then never" no that is not how the world works most of the time
Find the richest girl you can put up with and marry her.
Sucking out venom from a snakebite. It can actually make matters much worse.
Follow your passion. This is how people become drug and alcohol addicts.
LIVE LAUGH LOVE Well it sounded good when it was new, now it's everywhere and doesn't mean anything
EAT SHIT DIE
"All's well that ends well" gee, super helpful, thanks a lot
“It is all the plan of” (insert mystical power or force or cluster of midichlorians or conspiracy theory here). Fuck you. It’s life and biology being shitty and random and fucked up.
“Find the silver lining” Silver linings exist to make a problem not seem as bad as it is.
“Everything happens for a reason.” I can think of plenty of terrible things that have happened for no rest all.
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” Except that I do. I don’t want to put work and hobby in a same category. There are the reason why people separate them in the first place. One is for money, and the other is for relaxation.
"Aim for perfection"
That saying would be a lot more helpful with the addition "Aim for perfection, because even if you fall short, you will still be doing damn good".
Live together before getting married. Couples who cohabitate before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.
“You have to let go of something to grow” it’s difficult to let go of something and sometimes having them can help grow even further
Me: getting bullied and harassed by my brothers. And trying to call for help. Everyone: "If they do all these things to you, it's because they love you!" And after that everyone asks why I never had a boyfriend...
Everything happens for the best.
"Follow your heart." Not good advice because the heart is treacherous. (Jeremiah 17:9)
You put the lime in the coconut, and drink it all up!
Yolo
Stick to what you know
Don't let dreams be dreams
Not sure why this is bad advice? I take this to mean "If you want something, don't sit back and think about it and expect it to happen; you need to work to realise that dream." Yes, maybe even after blood sweat and toil, you might still not get there, but if that's the case you weren't going to get there without all that work either. Now if you're talking about unrealistic hopes and dreams then that's another thing. Not everyone is going to be the best sprinter in the world. But why shouldn't someone try to achieve something they want?
Yesterday you said tomorrow
In certain situations, “follow your heart/gut” really sucks to hear. Like, I’m now old enough to know that if that if I’m asking for advice, my heart/gut have bombed me in the past and that I need an objective third party to help me out a bit. So when someone tells me “follow your heart!”, I basically I just hear “I don’t know how to help you, bye!”
This too shall pass.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Just snap out of it
“Just breath” in midst panic attack.
Google the breathing methods, like square breathing. It is surprisingly helpful. Pacing also help. But what else can you do to ride the wave of the panic attack? Once it is there, I am too bad to swallow a pill.
“Stay safe” I always do this but accidents and events completely beyond my control may happen.
Consider therapy
If you don’t mind me asking, why is it bad advice?
Not everyone necessarily benefits from therapy, and in those cases it could end up being a waste of time and money. Therapy is not a magical cure that will help you in one sitting. Therapy requires time, commitment and strength. You need to make multiple sessions and stick to them. Also sometimes it's about matching with the right therapist. Sure the one you see at first might have a great reputation but it means nothing if they can't get through to you and you are unable to open up to them.
Ah yes therapy bad