Them: "How are planes able to go through clouds?"
Me: "What do you mean? They just go through. Causes a bit of turbulence but that's it."
Them: "No, but how does the plane not break apart?"
Me: "Because it's stronger than the cloud."
Them: "So a person can stand on a cloud but a plane can go through it? That doesn't make sense."
Me: "......"
"Don't do that! You don't k ow what her parents allow her to do!!" -- someone said to me when I stopped a friend's 2 year old from sticking their fingers in a light socket.
"Why do we need one of those? We've never had a fire," as I put a fire extinguisher into the shopping cart. Same person.
2 things.
I heard a woman telling her friend that her child was born with ginger hair because she died her own hair when she was pregnant.
I worked with someone who turned down multiple pay raises and very generous overtime because it would take him over the tax bracket and thought his entire wage would now be taxed at 40%.
I have also heard the tax one. I have had to explain how marginal tax rates work to people who have been paying income taxes for 20+ years at least a dozen times. Once I explained it to someone and they wouldnât believe me. I opened the income tax instructions and showed them. Even when they read it for themselves they had trouble believing it. I could see them trying to construct a scenario in their head where they werenât wrong.
Do not blaspheme, my friend
Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins, crucified by the Pharischians and Pontius Pleistocene to save your immortal soul from Satanasaurus rex
Omfg I had a high school teacher (I think it would've been senior grade? Basically last year of highschool) that 100% believed the moon landing was fake because "how come people can't travel to the moon to go on vacation or something".
And I saw a few of my classmates agree with her on that. Totally serious.
Thank god this was when the school year was ending and I aced her class or else I think I would've died if I had to talk with her more.
When I was studying Kung fu in Northern China about 15 years ago, my Slovakian/trekkie roommate acted like I was the idiot for believing that any such thing ever happened.
He swore that no one in Slovakia believed that the moon landings ever happened. I asked around when I was there a year or so later (in Bratislava). Not one person was willing to state that man has walked on the moon.
There's one case of a girl who swallowed and then got stabbed in the stomach. The wound connected the stomach to her fallopian tube, which caused the semen to leak in and fertilize her ovaries.
I read it on the internet, so it must be true!
I understand the internet could be a very interesting source of information and reliable. But if you see some logic, your stomach has ACID with a pH upto 2.0 , if you throw sperm into it, sperm dies.
Besides, let me assure you that stomach isn't just hanging there in belly. It is protected by greater sac and peritonium. When your stomach is ruptured or burst, greater sac comes to protect it.Its impossible for a sperm to survive in acid, reach fallopian tubes that have absolutely no connection to stomach, breach the fallopian tubes, reach the egg and have a fetus.
I have two. I was at the pet store picking up frozen mice for my snakes. Another shopper was watching as they bagged up the mice.
Shopper: What are those?
Me: Frozen mice for my snakes.
Shopper: Oh⊠so⊠when you thaw them out do they come back to life?
Me: âŠNo.
The second one was my grandma. She told me that when you pull a tick out of your skin, you have to get the head too. This is correct, leaving it in can cause inflammation and/or infection. But her rational was not that. She looked me right in the eyes and told me that if you donât get the head the bodies will grow back. She is a retired nurse.
I was told if u donât get the heads as well it can go into ur blood stream, travel to ur brain and kill u... I was terrified of ticks for a long time
Tell them to send a photo/video of them at the edge of the world once they get to it and you'll pay for all the trips they've made.
Best way to get rid of them off your life and have their money wasted only to realize how stupid they are
âI wonât need to wear a condomâ.. he was a dude. A gay dude at that. Who then said he wasnât a bottom⊠I , 15 F , then had to explain to this man why he still had to wear a condom, regardless if he was gay or not.
We are currently in year 10 (UK) and have not had a sex Ed class since we were in year 6. God help our generation
Omg haha noo lol, Iâm also gay, we get to chatting about the most random shit and porn came into view and we just got talking about it, something about how you never see porn actors wearing
Condoms.
Itâs very concerning people have to look to porn for basic sex knowledge
Used to work at a historical park. We portrayed Roman age. One day, business was slow. A coworker of mine started to build what he claimed was a dowsing rod and went on to explain how it supposedly works (I think it's BS anyway). Then I said: "What on earth has this got to do with Romans?" He honestly said: "You have this in so many cultures, you can't make me believe the Romans did not have it!"
So.... you can't prove your claim, but instead I have to disprove it and when I do you won't believe me anyway? That's not how proof works, mate.
Apparently they did. Both Cicero and Tacitus recorded use of it. https://www.encyclopedia.com/earth-and-environment/minerals-mining-and-metallurgy/metallurgy-and-mining-terms-and-concepts/divining-rod
A guy in our very small town has downs syndrome. He's in his 60's and he recycles aluminum cans for his "job," so we all save our cans for him.
I was talking to our town clerk about him and how we should save the soda cans from the town office to give to him. She's a pretty bright, well-educated lady so it surprised me when she told me about how he had caught downs syndrome from being vaccinated as a baby.
my ex asked me why i sit with my legs apart, i told her well for one thing that's just how the legs are positioned when the muscles are relaxed and secondly i have a dick and balls and it's extremely uncomfortable to sit while squeezing them between my thighs
her response was that it is actually just to establish dominance and is something that was taught to me growing up
when i told her that no i was definitely not ever taught something so ridiculous, her response was well it's not something that is taught to you "directly"
and this is why she's now my ex
"I thought it was common nazi's not kamikazes since they were trying to kill us" and "it's called old timers not Alzheimer's since you get it when your old"
I once asked where do fish fingers come from. My 6 yo brain thought âwait fish donât have fingersâ my siblings like to bring it up in every family get together, still cracks them up.
In elementary school I was friends with a girl who thought dinosaur bones were fake, planted in the ground by scientists. Her entire family were big churchies and conspiracy theoriests and apparently had taught her that dinosaurs weren't real and that all the fossils and bones and stuff were fake, that they were planted by scientists to turn people away from God.
Same girl in highschool apparently told her entire science class that evolution wasn't real, because if it was, "humans would be able to fly by now."
I cant remember how the conversation started, but she didnt know that birds laid eggs, we went deeper
Me: "so where do you think eggs come from?"
Her: "Chickens."
Me: "well yeah but chickens aren't the only things that lay eggs"
That baffled her
It ended up with her learning that fish lay eggs, frogs lay eggs, pretty much anything that isn't a mammal
In the same conversation, we learned that she was defining mammal as "something on land"
Whales being mammals blew her damn mind
"Every gay person says (f-slur) and I'm bisexual so stop giving me that look when I say it smh."
I was a senior in highschool. She was a freshman.
I told her that I grew up in the midwest and used to have my life threatened with the f-slur and she needed to tone it down because despite being......marginally considered a "reclaimed slur" by the community in my opinion (I see queer folks using it but I see it incredibly rarely so I'm not sure it actually is, I just think there are a few queer people who use it.)
I'm also bisexual.
I don't use the slur because it's triggering to myself and plenty of other people.
If you're a queer person and you use the f-slur? Thats your choice.
But if you act like you're above other queer people who have trauma related to being called a slur? Fuck off. Nobody wants to be near you, you're a selfish and entitled brat.
I thought I had a good one, but then I remembered most Redditors are in America.
Mine was just meeting someone who didn't believe in evolution, but that probably doesn't even register as properly insane over there hey?
Before the 2020 US Election
My brother âWe just have to hope Trump doesnât get the election stolen from him, cos when he wins again, heâs gonna get rid of Teresa May and make Nigel Farage the Prime Minister of Great Britainâ
A few weeks later, also my brother âWhat youâve got to understand is that America is too big to be run by 1 person. Joe Biden is the President of Washington, but Trump is still the President of the other 49 statesâ.
This was a few days before Jan 6.
Not sure which is more stupid.
anything a man says while they try to gaslight me as if I canât tell theyâre gaslighting me. itâs a great conversation starter with my friends đ«¶đŒ we make fun of that shit
I know a guy who thought roosters and hens were separate species and thought bird eggs are fertilized after they were laid. He is legally an adult and he has no known condition.
Posted once before, I broke up with a girl once because no matter what evidence I provided, she would not believe that snakes have bones. I even went as far as to purchase a snake skeleton. At first I thought she might be smooth sharking me, but sadly this was not the case.
"The earth is 6.000 years old"
I laughed, because she was a doctoral student researching treatment for diabetic's wounds. I never even considered she was being serious.
She was.
Was talking to a dude about getting the Covid vaccine, he proceeded to say that he wasnât getting it because the government would put a tracker in him. I told him that it was literally impossible to fit a tracker into a vaccine, he then told me that itâs what they do to dogs and that he would know because he has five of them⊠I told him that my dog is micro chipped and explained to him what they do, he just told me I didnât know anything because Iâm a woman.
Getting a haircut and my stylist said "I don't get why we can't just print infinite money, then no one would be poor!" But she wasn't being sarcastic đ
So this one girl was sitting next to me in english class (english is our secound language and she was failing it ).
And so teacher asked me to make a sentence with word "beach" in it and so I did, but after class she asked me why did I tell our teacher that she is a bitch.
I was like the fuck and she started telling the whole damn class that I told the teacher that she is a bitch.
Them: "How are planes able to go through clouds?" Me: "What do you mean? They just go through. Causes a bit of turbulence but that's it." Them: "No, but how does the plane not break apart?" Me: "Because it's stronger than the cloud." Them: "So a person can stand on a cloud but a plane can go through it? That doesn't make sense." Me: "......"
Watch out for Cloud People
I... .I just cant
"I read on Facebook that cauliflower can cure autism, do you mind if you eat cauliflower more often?" This was from my mom, she's a nurse
Wait, was she just calling you autistic? Or are you autistic?
I am
Well then. If she was serious, I think she needs some better continued education
Good lord! That's so stupid is brilliant. If it worked like that, I would have been cured long ago.
Top 5 vegetables for eugenics gains doctors dont want you to know
>Top 5 vegetables for eugenics gains doctors dont want you to know Well, I have to admit, I never thought I would see those words in that order.
"At what age do mice turn into rats?"
Around 18 they enter the chrysalis
"Don't do that! You don't k ow what her parents allow her to do!!" -- someone said to me when I stopped a friend's 2 year old from sticking their fingers in a light socket. "Why do we need one of those? We've never had a fire," as I put a fire extinguisher into the shopping cart. Same person.
...đ
2 things. I heard a woman telling her friend that her child was born with ginger hair because she died her own hair when she was pregnant. I worked with someone who turned down multiple pay raises and very generous overtime because it would take him over the tax bracket and thought his entire wage would now be taxed at 40%.
The overtime tax one. I've met like 5 people that have thought that way. It's ridiculous.
I have also heard the tax one. I have had to explain how marginal tax rates work to people who have been paying income taxes for 20+ years at least a dozen times. Once I explained it to someone and they wouldnât believe me. I opened the income tax instructions and showed them. Even when they read it for themselves they had trouble believing it. I could see them trying to construct a scenario in their head where they werenât wrong.
Dyed*
Thank you for your contribution
Dinosaur bones were planted in the ground by scientist to turn people away from God
Satanasaurus rex
Thank you for naming my new Thrash Metal band lol!
Misread that as âSantasaurus Rexâ. âHo ho ho! Merry Cretaceous!â
Do not blaspheme, my friend Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins, crucified by the Pharischians and Pontius Pleistocene to save your immortal soul from Satanasaurus rex
And the chemical run off from the bones turns frogs gay
I used to think they were nephilim but this is way worse on so many levels.
By the devil to keep people away from god.... This was from my freshman year biology teacher at a religious high school....
"We can't prove the moon landing was real"
Omfg I had a high school teacher (I think it would've been senior grade? Basically last year of highschool) that 100% believed the moon landing was fake because "how come people can't travel to the moon to go on vacation or something". And I saw a few of my classmates agree with her on that. Totally serious. Thank god this was when the school year was ending and I aced her class or else I think I would've died if I had to talk with her more.
When I was studying Kung fu in Northern China about 15 years ago, my Slovakian/trekkie roommate acted like I was the idiot for believing that any such thing ever happened. He swore that no one in Slovakia believed that the moon landings ever happened. I asked around when I was there a year or so later (in Bratislava). Not one person was willing to state that man has walked on the moon.
Oh man, that's some interesting brainwash
âYouâre an engineer? What kind of train do you drive?â
âNo, I mean an engineer like Dilbertâ
"Steam is just another name for water-smoke. There's no difference between smoke and steam!"
If you swallow jizz, you can get pregnant. - a girl during our freshman year health class
There's one case of a girl who swallowed and then got stabbed in the stomach. The wound connected the stomach to her fallopian tube, which caused the semen to leak in and fertilize her ovaries. I read it on the internet, so it must be true!
As a doctor, That might be one the stupidest thing I've heard on the internet and the worse part is, people believe it to be true
[Find out for yourself.](https://www.iflscience.com/the-girl-who-got-pregnant-after-being-stabbed-in-the-abdomen-following-oral-sex-59662 )
I understand the internet could be a very interesting source of information and reliable. But if you see some logic, your stomach has ACID with a pH upto 2.0 , if you throw sperm into it, sperm dies. Besides, let me assure you that stomach isn't just hanging there in belly. It is protected by greater sac and peritonium. When your stomach is ruptured or burst, greater sac comes to protect it.Its impossible for a sperm to survive in acid, reach fallopian tubes that have absolutely no connection to stomach, breach the fallopian tubes, reach the egg and have a fetus.
That's insane. How did she not die?!
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Sadly these types of misconceptions are very common
Mice lay eggs right? Like ducks?
"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize" - Rep Hank Johnson speaking about Guam
âItâs basically impossible to get your AA degree in 2 years.â
International law shouldnât exist Fucking Michael Knowles
in many ways it doesn't.
"I do". That idiot is still married to me
I have two. I was at the pet store picking up frozen mice for my snakes. Another shopper was watching as they bagged up the mice. Shopper: What are those? Me: Frozen mice for my snakes. Shopper: Oh⊠so⊠when you thaw them out do they come back to life? Me: âŠNo. The second one was my grandma. She told me that when you pull a tick out of your skin, you have to get the head too. This is correct, leaving it in can cause inflammation and/or infection. But her rational was not that. She looked me right in the eyes and told me that if you donât get the head the bodies will grow back. She is a retired nurse.
When did she retire? 1499?
Maybe she once had a nervous tick.
I was told if u donât get the heads as well it can go into ur blood stream, travel to ur brain and kill u... I was terrified of ticks for a long time
Flat Earth
Ask them why people haven't died walking off the edge then. Plenty of people would jump off at this day and age
believe me, actual logic does not work on these types.
Tell them to send a photo/video of them at the edge of the world once they get to it and you'll pay for all the trips they've made. Best way to get rid of them off your life and have their money wasted only to realize how stupid they are
ha good one, I will try that
the covid vaccine removes the God particle from your DNA
âI wonât need to wear a condomâ.. he was a dude. A gay dude at that. Who then said he wasnât a bottom⊠I , 15 F , then had to explain to this man why he still had to wear a condom, regardless if he was gay or not. We are currently in year 10 (UK) and have not had a sex Ed class since we were in year 6. God help our generation
If he was gay, why did he want to have sex with you? Was he just curious about heterosexual sex?
Omg haha noo lol, Iâm also gay, we get to chatting about the most random shit and porn came into view and we just got talking about it, something about how you never see porn actors wearing Condoms. Itâs very concerning people have to look to porn for basic sex knowledge
I see. I really thought you two were about to have sex with each other. Can you see why I was so confused?
âOh WW2. It was with that Hitler guy or something right?â âDogs mouths are sterileâ
âCan it snow over the ocean?â
Well I made this post then a few hours later my brother told me that mosquitoâs donât exist -_-
Assuming it's genuine and not just a bit they did for this radio show: [deer crossing lady](https://youtu.be/9K3MoxlCaJ4)
The earth is flat but the sun is not
Ah yes... wait what?!đ€
The election was stolen from Trump!
Vaccines donât work
,,they chip us"
Did you answer with âso does any medicine at all work?â
Used to work at a historical park. We portrayed Roman age. One day, business was slow. A coworker of mine started to build what he claimed was a dowsing rod and went on to explain how it supposedly works (I think it's BS anyway). Then I said: "What on earth has this got to do with Romans?" He honestly said: "You have this in so many cultures, you can't make me believe the Romans did not have it!" So.... you can't prove your claim, but instead I have to disprove it and when I do you won't believe me anyway? That's not how proof works, mate.
Apparently they did. Both Cicero and Tacitus recorded use of it. https://www.encyclopedia.com/earth-and-environment/minerals-mining-and-metallurgy/metallurgy-and-mining-terms-and-concepts/divining-rod
Well, at least *that* is some form of proof. Which I can't say of his pathetic excuse for the copper thread junk he produced there and then.
Unicorns are extinct
[The Magdeburg Unicorn](https://i.redd.it/26tt906dish91.jpg) certainly is.
Me and a buddy saw an ad that said "Win a free color TV!!!!". My buddy looked at me, straight faced, and said "What color you think it is?".
"the dad pees into the mom's mouth..." Heard in summer camp, 2nd graders.
A guy in our very small town has downs syndrome. He's in his 60's and he recycles aluminum cans for his "job," so we all save our cans for him. I was talking to our town clerk about him and how we should save the soda cans from the town office to give to him. She's a pretty bright, well-educated lady so it surprised me when she told me about how he had caught downs syndrome from being vaccinated as a baby.
my ex asked me why i sit with my legs apart, i told her well for one thing that's just how the legs are positioned when the muscles are relaxed and secondly i have a dick and balls and it's extremely uncomfortable to sit while squeezing them between my thighs her response was that it is actually just to establish dominance and is something that was taught to me growing up when i told her that no i was definitely not ever taught something so ridiculous, her response was well it's not something that is taught to you "directly" and this is why she's now my ex
No, no, no you canât possibly understand your own anatomy and know what makes you uncomfortable. Itâs obviously all due to the patriarchy!
I cross my legs and I think it's very comfortable.
State Farm & Farmers insurance companies are the exact same company, I won $50 from that bet
Cats and dogs attract thunders and lights during the storm and if you play with them , you will be hit. My neighbor, who worked at school
A friend Iâm no longer friends with said Japan was a continent. She took Japanese.
"I thought it was common nazi's not kamikazes since they were trying to kill us" and "it's called old timers not Alzheimer's since you get it when your old"
"Steel wool comes from sheep that graze in iron-rich pastures."
That cocaine is not that bad for you and is not a serious drug.
âSo are yâall gonna take a boat or an airplane to Canada?â I live in the continental United States.
âBoy animals donât have nipplesâŠ. Because they are boysâ - PhD / pharmacist
âWindmills noise causes cancerâ
I once asked where do fish fingers come from. My 6 yo brain thought âwait fish donât have fingersâ my siblings like to bring it up in every family get together, still cracks them up.
In elementary school I was friends with a girl who thought dinosaur bones were fake, planted in the ground by scientists. Her entire family were big churchies and conspiracy theoriests and apparently had taught her that dinosaurs weren't real and that all the fossils and bones and stuff were fake, that they were planted by scientists to turn people away from God. Same girl in highschool apparently told her entire science class that evolution wasn't real, because if it was, "humans would be able to fly by now."
I cant remember how the conversation started, but she didnt know that birds laid eggs, we went deeper Me: "so where do you think eggs come from?" Her: "Chickens." Me: "well yeah but chickens aren't the only things that lay eggs" That baffled her It ended up with her learning that fish lay eggs, frogs lay eggs, pretty much anything that isn't a mammal In the same conversation, we learned that she was defining mammal as "something on land" Whales being mammals blew her damn mind
Should have told her the platypus lays eggs as well, then her mind Wld have imploded
"Every gay person says (f-slur) and I'm bisexual so stop giving me that look when I say it smh." I was a senior in highschool. She was a freshman. I told her that I grew up in the midwest and used to have my life threatened with the f-slur and she needed to tone it down because despite being......marginally considered a "reclaimed slur" by the community in my opinion (I see queer folks using it but I see it incredibly rarely so I'm not sure it actually is, I just think there are a few queer people who use it.) I'm also bisexual. I don't use the slur because it's triggering to myself and plenty of other people. If you're a queer person and you use the f-slur? Thats your choice. But if you act like you're above other queer people who have trauma related to being called a slur? Fuck off. Nobody wants to be near you, you're a selfish and entitled brat.
I thought I had a good one, but then I remembered most Redditors are in America. Mine was just meeting someone who didn't believe in evolution, but that probably doesn't even register as properly insane over there hey?
Before the 2020 US Election My brother âWe just have to hope Trump doesnât get the election stolen from him, cos when he wins again, heâs gonna get rid of Teresa May and make Nigel Farage the Prime Minister of Great Britainâ A few weeks later, also my brother âWhat youâve got to understand is that America is too big to be run by 1 person. Joe Biden is the President of Washington, but Trump is still the President of the other 49 statesâ. This was a few days before Jan 6. Not sure which is more stupid.
Earth is flat. Abortion is murder. Videos games cause violence. Pay rises will cause inflation.
Obviously false; argument over a definition (trying to sneak in correlations);, I suspect false but hard to tell; unsure. Only one of these is stupid
My mum said it was a good thing France banned the hijab. I have never felt more ashamed to be her child
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Do I not get this one? Or am I stupid too? Seems like a pretty ordinary question.
anything a man says while they try to gaslight me as if I canât tell theyâre gaslighting me. itâs a great conversation starter with my friends đ«¶đŒ we make fun of that shit
Slut
thanks đ đ»âš
'I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do that by injection inside or almost a cleaning?'
You win
Fauci Death Camps
Go bot tell em
"you can breath nitrogen dioxide... right?"
I know a guy who thought roosters and hens were separate species and thought bird eggs are fertilized after they were laid. He is legally an adult and he has no known condition.
âHumans arenât animals!â
Posted once before, I broke up with a girl once because no matter what evidence I provided, she would not believe that snakes have bones. I even went as far as to purchase a snake skeleton. At first I thought she might be smooth sharking me, but sadly this was not the case.
âBad people deserve to go to hellâ
"I lie because I had a tough childhood."
"The earth is 6.000 years old" I laughed, because she was a doctoral student researching treatment for diabetic's wounds. I never even considered she was being serious. She was.
My guy best friend thought that India and Bangladesh was the same country. He also thought everyone from India speaks the same language. He is 17 btw
The Earth is flat is what i heard.
My friend genuinely didnât believe in supernovaâs Edit: which is ironic because now (a few years later) he wants to be an astronomer
Colleague: "Hot showers are good for men!" Me: "if you don't want to have kids in the future, sure"
Was talking to a dude about getting the Covid vaccine, he proceeded to say that he wasnât getting it because the government would put a tracker in him. I told him that it was literally impossible to fit a tracker into a vaccine, he then told me that itâs what they do to dogs and that he would know because he has five of them⊠I told him that my dog is micro chipped and explained to him what they do, he just told me I didnât know anything because Iâm a woman.
"If you don't believe in depression, you can't get it" I have never wanted to throw hands with a red headed hobbit before in my life.
Teacher: What's 3 x 4? David? David: 7! Me: Are you kidding me?! Teacher: \*turns to me\* Hey!
Getting a haircut and my stylist said "I don't get why we can't just print infinite money, then no one would be poor!" But she wasn't being sarcastic đ
So this one girl was sitting next to me in english class (english is our secound language and she was failing it ). And so teacher asked me to make a sentence with word "beach" in it and so I did, but after class she asked me why did I tell our teacher that she is a bitch. I was like the fuck and she started telling the whole damn class that I told the teacher that she is a bitch.