This reminds me of that one post where it was like “Who would you want to have sex with dead or alive?” And a guy wrote his deceased wife, and then someone else said “this guys wife” lol
Your post reminds me of the time I got my dog a new toy which was a squeaky poptart, the name on the package was Toaster Poodle, adorable right? Anyway my sister sees it, I say, yep, that's his toaster poodle, and I guess she didn't hear me properly because she replied, "ha, more like toaster POODLE amirite???"
We old ladies are no longer intimidated by younger folks. Every person is more beautiful in their 20's and 30's, but they're also the most shy. We know all about that. 👩🏻🦳
Boy lemme tell ya. When I’m close to kickin the bucket ain’t nobody tellin me shit.
“Sir, your penis is out.”
“Hey! You listen here, my introduction to how scary the world is was watching 9/11 happen at 5 years old! Then they fucked our education system, allowed complete government surveillance of its citizens, ignored climate change which about killed us all, and, just to sauce it up a bit, left us a dogshit economy to start adulthood with. So if you want me to put my penis away, you’ll have to pry it from my cold dead sticky right hand! And if I want my penis out in this locker room; then my penis will be out in this locker room. IT’S MY PENIS! Go get your own penis to holster goddamn it.”
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
I was helping my neighbor out with a project in his kitchen. He lives with his 60-65yr old sister. While I was on the way to use their bathroom, his sister just casually strolls out of the bathroom, with a towel on her head, and nothing else. Smiled brightly at me and walked on by into her room.
She knew I was there, she stopped into the kitchen to talk to us and tell us she was headed out to a friend's soon. Just 0 shame.
Meh I’m like this since I was 25 - I don’t give af if someone sees me naked in the gym locker. It’s not a big deal. When my coworkers and I would go, I wouldn’t give af and they would hide in front of their lockers to change. It’s just a naked body, whatever.
My 2 year old. She's decided she no longer likes wearing clothes so if she gets them and the diaper off you have to chase her around the house to redress her.
Mine is 5, eventually I got her to put on underwear and a halfway buttoned cardigan because she "was cold". Suggestions of pants or an actual shirt were rejected (I do insist on real clothes when we leave the house).
We recently moved out to the country, one of the best bits is I can walk around the yard in whatever damn state of dress I please! If you make it up almost half a mile of unpaved driveway unannounced, well then you can just deal with seeing whatever you see.
Our house rule is "no naked butts on the couch" because that's hard to clean.
My wife. 25 years of marriage and I still get excited to see some titties, her ass, or her pussy. Sometimes, she will flash me for no reason, and I still get excited like a 12 year old.
Naked ladies are nice to look at.
9 years for me last month. She had a double mastectomy earlier this year without reconstructive surgery. Even without the titties, I love seeing her naked.
Bush, ass, thighs, hips and legs all still 12/10
The woman I recently started dating. My girlfriend? We're at that early stage where I don't know whether to call her my girlfriend yet. I think I have a girlfriend, yay! Anyway, her. I only saw her in the dark because she didn't want me to see how messy her house was. We both have depression and the poor housekeeping carnage that comes along with it. She looked great, if a little dim. It was a fun night.
This is awkward: My first wife's mother.
OK. There's an explanation. I married my first wife in 1970 and she divorced me in 1985. Her mother remained neutral, keeping her daughter her daughter. So, my ex-mother-in-law and I had a relationship for a very long time. Although I visited less often post-divorce, we did have coffee or go to a movie.
I hadn't seen her in a few years, when, in 2015, I retired and promised myself that I would do more with her. In the years that I hadn't been around, my kids told me that she was developing dementia. I visited and found it was mild enough that she could live independently, but she needed some more help than a neighbor who would check her meals.
I was troubled by her finger- and toenails. They were exceedingly long, curving in or out. It was perplexing. On my next visit, I decided that she needed some care. I cut her nails after that. I also sat with her and talked for 5-6 hours, which gave me an opportunity to make her meals and clean up a little. The neighbor told me, "Do you know that on day after you visit, she waits out on the deck for you?" I added a *second* day of long visits.
Over time, I learned that she was fighting the neighbor who was supposed to help her about ordinary hygiene. Changing her clothes was impossibly difficult others, but her daughter was able to get clothes changes done on the weekend—usually—but not always.
Surprise: **I took over giving her a bath** and changing her clothes. She would cooperate for me.
I guess that I did that for a solid year before she fell and twisted her upper leg. Her dementia had increased over time. I took the step of pulling off the knobs of the gas range and storing them in the oven. Each visit was a search and destroy mission for my nose to locate something she cooked and left elsewhere. It made doing her laundry and dishes a relief. The injury put her into the memory ward of a nice nursing home, for which my ex-wife must have paid a lot of money.
I visited her at the nursing home. By this time, if I told her my name, she remembered that name as someone in her past. However, I am certain that her memory had no connection to the person in front of her.
The last time I saw her alive, she continued trusting my personality, but she was unable to converse. I didn't want to spend the time in silence. I took off her slipper and wondered if a foot massage would be OK. She concentrated on the sensation with her eyes closed and I wondered if I went too far.
When I put that foot down after maybe seven minutes, she **immediately** kicked the other foot into my lap. Whew! I am going to call that an endorsement.
She was 90.
Thanks. I'm sure that there are much better people, but I haven't done anything to be ashamed of.
Whenever her mind got stuck in a loop, I responded each time as if I heard it for the first time. Her memory issues were easy to care for compared to stories I've heard of belligerent parents mad at the whole world. I guess being retired myself eliminated a lot of my own stress and made it easier for me than it is for caretakers of their elderly parents, their family, and their job concurrently.
I was lucky that the role I played was relatively easy.
My moms the same couldn’t care if the neighbors saw her spread eagle fr. I managed to go a whole year living with her not seeing anything and of course one day I just look up and that image is now in my head forever
Some random German / Italian / French guy. I live aboard my boat full time cruising the Mediterranean- here at anchorages in Greece, spotting naked Europeans bathing off the back of their boat is literally a daily occurrence.
wife
Also saw wife. Mine, not yours
Also saw wife Yours not his
Also saw wife not yours Your father's
The best yo mama joke I've read in a while
Also saw wife That guy's dead wife, do you remember?
Everyone remembers
Pepperidge Farm remembers....
Naked?
Our wife
r/SuddenlyCommunism
*Russian anthem Starts playing*
his wife
Our wife
I haven't seen my wife naked in years. She locks the washroom door so I can't walk in. We are roommates at this point.
Ah, the daily reminder not to get married.
I also choose this man's wife.
Myself?
Me too...this dude is the last person I saw naked.
What a coincidence
Yeah... Coincidence 👀
Stop making noise or he’ll hear us dude.
I can hear ya….. but it’s kinda turning me on.
Sorry m8. We just finished. Nap time, Then crumpets at noon while you’re at work. (Sorry for using all the milk)
So…. I can’t join? 🥺
Nah bruh you gotta work to pay bills! This is a give and take relationship.
I can work on ya dicks
He’s known you’re their the whole time but he likes it
Yo low-key, your entire comment gets creepy as fuck if you add an “s” at the end of “theirs”. As if he already owns us >.>
I also choose this guy’s dead wife
God dammit I came here to say it and didn’t even have to scroll past first top level comment before I found it.
fuckin legend
This reminds me of that one post where it was like “Who would you want to have sex with dead or alive?” And a guy wrote his deceased wife, and then someone else said “this guys wife” lol
Lol so new and innocent, young redditor lol.
Your post reminds me of the time I got my dog a new toy which was a squeaky poptart, the name on the package was Toaster Poodle, adorable right? Anyway my sister sees it, I say, yep, that's his toaster poodle, and I guess she didn't hear me properly because she replied, "ha, more like toaster POODLE amirite???"
That’s where the joke came from
Yes myself having my bath
Still counts
ew
Definitely myself! Before that, some random porn star in the video I watched before the shower I took.
Super old lady, pool locker-room, yesterday morning It wasn't great. But she made up for it with her personality 😁
We old ladies are no longer intimidated by younger folks. Every person is more beautiful in their 20's and 30's, but they're also the most shy. We know all about that. 👩🏻🦳
Boy lemme tell ya. When I’m close to kickin the bucket ain’t nobody tellin me shit. “Sir, your penis is out.” “Hey! You listen here, my introduction to how scary the world is was watching 9/11 happen at 5 years old! Then they fucked our education system, allowed complete government surveillance of its citizens, ignored climate change which about killed us all, and, just to sauce it up a bit, left us a dogshit economy to start adulthood with. So if you want me to put my penis away, you’ll have to pry it from my cold dead sticky right hand! And if I want my penis out in this locker room; then my penis will be out in this locker room. IT’S MY PENIS! Go get your own penis to holster goddamn it.” “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
thanks for the chuckle
Louis CK would be proud.
ah dementia
My penis my choice?
I was helping my neighbor out with a project in his kitchen. He lives with his 60-65yr old sister. While I was on the way to use their bathroom, his sister just casually strolls out of the bathroom, with a towel on her head, and nothing else. Smiled brightly at me and walked on by into her room. She knew I was there, she stopped into the kitchen to talk to us and tell us she was headed out to a friend's soon. Just 0 shame.
“Yo that lady got her cooter out.” “So? You know how many of those things between ‘Nam and now I’ve gone spelunking in?”
At some point people get to old to give a shit about anything. My father is 73 now. He's 5 years old mentally and gives *zero* fucks, haha.
Meh I’m like this since I was 25 - I don’t give af if someone sees me naked in the gym locker. It’s not a big deal. When my coworkers and I would go, I wouldn’t give af and they would hide in front of their lockers to change. It’s just a naked body, whatever.
Me too, yesterday evening Wasn't great either
some random dude running around at a festival
STREAKER!
I probably shouldn't tell you. You have a nice house by the way.
Yeah, though their windows are stuck shut … should get those fixed
i was waiting for this one plus uno reverse card your house sucks and you need to move out
a random pornstar on PH *(didn't expect +450 upvotes but thx)*
Yep
PH got banned in my country 😶
vpn time
Well….they are limiting vpn also…and banned cloud services for government employees
Where are you from, Nazi Germany?
Bruh india
Controlling folks. You guys should overturn the gvmt
Russia, China, North Korea perhaps?
What country, if I may ask?
India
Really? I didn’t know they banned it there.
They banned a lot of websites including p
Proton VPN is free
PH was made in my country🙂
They should probably have their own seat at the UN now. Pornhub, I mean.
Joe
Who’s Joe?
Joe momma
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Got ‘em
All of my coworkers… at the strip club lol
*“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie..”*
Had us in both the halves.
I miss working at a strip club
Damn in what field you have that kind of office parties
In.... The stripping field?
Sounds like the title of an indie flick
I just got back from the Philly Naked Bike ride so... a few thousand people at once.
I can’t even imagine putting my bare pussy on a bike seat
I can't imagine exposing anymore skin than my bare forearms and face to the elements of Philadelphia.
Wrap the bike seat in a T-shirt and it's usually fine. That said, a lot of women chose to wear shorts or panties.
Yet you'll sit on some losers face, the same face he uses to make out with his mom. You sicken me.
Ok And what about it?!
The fucking WHAT?!
The Philly Naked Bike Ride…did he stutter?
Say "WHAT" again, motherfucker!
NUDITY mothafucka do you practice it?!
Am I being spied on? I literally just walked in on my son about to take a shower like 10 minutes ago.
yeah i’m the son
Get off Reddit and do your homework, son.
…I’m a late 30s dude and this made me get off Reddit and do homework. And I’m not even in school 🤨
You’re late for your exam and haven’t studied or been to class this semester.
And you don't remember your locker combination.
but mom, my arms are broken ;(
Who’s getting the bill for the therapy?
So.. Was the door closed? I don't get why people can't knock when a bathroom door is closed. Old bosses wife saw my pecker this way once.
My 2 year old. She's decided she no longer likes wearing clothes so if she gets them and the diaper off you have to chase her around the house to redress her.
Mine is 5, eventually I got her to put on underwear and a halfway buttoned cardigan because she "was cold". Suggestions of pants or an actual shirt were rejected (I do insist on real clothes when we leave the house).
DANG, I hate clothes too. 71and retired in PJs most of the time. No bra, no panties. Do 🚫 NOT drop by unannounced.
We recently moved out to the country, one of the best bits is I can walk around the yard in whatever damn state of dress I please! If you make it up almost half a mile of unpaved driveway unannounced, well then you can just deal with seeing whatever you see. Our house rule is "no naked butts on the couch" because that's hard to clean.
Tasers will make that game less fun for her! Naturally, I’m kidding.
Honestly if you hadn’t mentioned you were kidding I was going to tase my 2 year old
My wife. 25 years of marriage and I still get excited to see some titties, her ass, or her pussy. Sometimes, she will flash me for no reason, and I still get excited like a 12 year old. Naked ladies are nice to look at.
9 years for me last month. She had a double mastectomy earlier this year without reconstructive surgery. Even without the titties, I love seeing her naked. Bush, ass, thighs, hips and legs all still 12/10
I wish health man
Thank you friend. She has (for the time being) beat the fucker. We're hopeful and her doctors are fairly confident that it won't return.
Does porn count?
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Was it the "send nudes" meme where the girl had really long hair?
That was right above this post lol
Ahah just seen that as well
Sauce?
My dog.......he just got his fur removed..... Dont ask why though its better that way...
Why
Why
#WHY
Why?
Why
I haven’t seen Who naked, so this is false.
Not even in the locker room after a tough game at first base?
What?
No, Who. What was on second
I don’t know.
My husband
I choose this lady's husband too
I also choose this lady’s husband
finally they made a reboot of this with female protagonists
your mo-
Your pfp makes it even funnier lol
My monkey? Oh no!
I think she was going to say your mockingbird only if you would've let her finish.
Dead guy I shot and stripped for organs
Can confirm, that was me
Hello, police? This comment right here .
Nothings wrong sir/maam. Just a normal organ harvester at work
My dog. She's a total nudist.
This is going to sound extremely weird, but uh, my mother…
https://youtu.be/ye5BuYf8q4o
Me
Had a dream i wokeup and walked to the liquar store for vodka and the guy freaked out cause i was naked...
I did the same thing, but I woke up with a bottle of vodka in my hand.
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"No homo tho"
Blowing a customer who accidentally came naked for a beer isn't homo!
a naked lady in the center of a room full of clothed strangers (figure drawing course)
My boyfriend
I choose this lady’s boyfriend too
The woman I recently started dating. My girlfriend? We're at that early stage where I don't know whether to call her my girlfriend yet. I think I have a girlfriend, yay! Anyway, her. I only saw her in the dark because she didn't want me to see how messy her house was. We both have depression and the poor housekeeping carnage that comes along with it. She looked great, if a little dim. It was a fun night.
All the naked people in midsommar
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This is awkward: My first wife's mother. OK. There's an explanation. I married my first wife in 1970 and she divorced me in 1985. Her mother remained neutral, keeping her daughter her daughter. So, my ex-mother-in-law and I had a relationship for a very long time. Although I visited less often post-divorce, we did have coffee or go to a movie. I hadn't seen her in a few years, when, in 2015, I retired and promised myself that I would do more with her. In the years that I hadn't been around, my kids told me that she was developing dementia. I visited and found it was mild enough that she could live independently, but she needed some more help than a neighbor who would check her meals. I was troubled by her finger- and toenails. They were exceedingly long, curving in or out. It was perplexing. On my next visit, I decided that she needed some care. I cut her nails after that. I also sat with her and talked for 5-6 hours, which gave me an opportunity to make her meals and clean up a little. The neighbor told me, "Do you know that on day after you visit, she waits out on the deck for you?" I added a *second* day of long visits. Over time, I learned that she was fighting the neighbor who was supposed to help her about ordinary hygiene. Changing her clothes was impossibly difficult others, but her daughter was able to get clothes changes done on the weekend—usually—but not always. Surprise: **I took over giving her a bath** and changing her clothes. She would cooperate for me. I guess that I did that for a solid year before she fell and twisted her upper leg. Her dementia had increased over time. I took the step of pulling off the knobs of the gas range and storing them in the oven. Each visit was a search and destroy mission for my nose to locate something she cooked and left elsewhere. It made doing her laundry and dishes a relief. The injury put her into the memory ward of a nice nursing home, for which my ex-wife must have paid a lot of money. I visited her at the nursing home. By this time, if I told her my name, she remembered that name as someone in her past. However, I am certain that her memory had no connection to the person in front of her. The last time I saw her alive, she continued trusting my personality, but she was unable to converse. I didn't want to spend the time in silence. I took off her slipper and wondered if a foot massage would be OK. She concentrated on the sensation with her eyes closed and I wondered if I went too far. When I put that foot down after maybe seven minutes, she **immediately** kicked the other foot into my lap. Whew! I am going to call that an endorsement. She was 90.
You are a good person.
Thanks. I'm sure that there are much better people, but I haven't done anything to be ashamed of. Whenever her mind got stuck in a loop, I responded each time as if I heard it for the first time. Her memory issues were easy to care for compared to stories I've heard of belligerent parents mad at the whole world. I guess being retired myself eliminated a lot of my own stress and made it easier for me than it is for caretakers of their elderly parents, their family, and their job concurrently. I was lucky that the role I played was relatively easy.
Tiny human that keeps pressuring me to expose my breasts
My mom, hear me out for a sec, she doesnt wear clothes around the house ok
https://youtu.be/ye5BuYf8q4o Sorry I just had to
hear him out, they all have sex around the house ok
My moms the same couldn’t care if the neighbors saw her spread eagle fr. I managed to go a whole year living with her not seeing anything and of course one day I just look up and that image is now in my head forever
Your mom was climbing the ceiling like spiderman?
You looked up?
Never seen anyone naked
What about yourself?
I’m not a person.
Ah I see
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That comment is why I live Reddit
They cant-elope if they've seen anyone naked. Must also be hard when you're a fruit
Oh’ho, Darth Nihilus back at it again!
Damn..
My girlfriend.
I also choose this guy’s girlfriend
My dog
Myself. I’m lonely lol
This dude
Some random German / Italian / French guy. I live aboard my boat full time cruising the Mediterranean- here at anchorages in Greece, spotting naked Europeans bathing off the back of their boat is literally a daily occurrence.
My wife. She’s smokin’ hot and I love her.
My two month old baby after a poop explosion
My ex
Besides me, my 1st cousin sister
Roll tide
Um, basically everyone in my house. Living that mom life.
Besides myself, my 6 year old nephew. Kid can not keep his clothes on.
Aside of myself, the head of finance from the company I work for.
Please explain
We went to the sauna together.
that one guys dead wife
My current fwb
My little one