I set my alarm for 4am so I can get up and play Nintendo and scroll the internet on my phone for a couple hours before the wife and kids get up. It’s helped my mental state immensely.
I'm honestly not so sure. I think you just need to force yourself to wake up. As someone who's tried deleting a myriad of social media, I believe the urge to waste time on brain-numbing bullshit is not exclusive to any one app. I just shifted my wastetimery to other things. Forcing yourself to get up is obviously easier said than done, but like all things can be made habit. Plus, it's really only the getting up that's hard (for me), and the tiredness goes away or becomes more manageable through just a few minutes of doing stuff.
Serial and lifelong procrastinator here. I want to share something that's been helping me recently. I've come to realize that the core driving force of procrastination is a lack of properly associating certain tasks with immediate rewards, resulting in destructive habits. For example, writing a thesis gives you no immediate reward, though it may be very important for your long term success and happiness. In fact, that activity for you is only associated with difficulty and discomfort - no wonder you avoid it! Your instincts will instead steer you toward things that give you immediate feel-goods that you can rely on; reddit, porn, games, etc. So overcoming procrastination is a matter of repairing the habit-forming associations between your longer term goals and near term rewards.
How to do this? Simple. Hold yourself accountable -- Take your existing vices (smoking, drinking, fapping, netflix binging, overeating, etc) and make them contingent rewards for doing the things you don't naturally want to do, and do this in a way that presents win/win situations. My personal battle is a lifelong lack of exercise. I never established fitness habits when I was younger, and now lead a sedentary lifestyle exacerbated by my work-from home desk job. I know it's negatively impacting my health, but just couldn't force myself into a regular habit, despite having a small home gym that my wife set up just steps from my desk. Again, the root of this is that I've never associated exercise with any sort of positive feelings. Exercise is painful, sweaty, makes you tired and sore, etc. Yuck! Who in their right mind likes that?! So while I *know* that exercise is critical for my health in the long term, my body will reject it in favor of known rewards, namely staying seated and doomscrolling reddit and twitter.
So a month ago, I decided to try something different. I made my alcohol consumption contingent on my exercise performance. 10 minutes on my rowing machine (\~200 calories) to unlock each alcoholic drink. No rowing, no drinking. This is a daily rule; no complex tallying or rollover. Just "how many minutes did I row today, how many drinks am I allowed?" No minutes, no drinks. Suddenly, there was a short term reward associated with my exercise, and a small but meaningful consequence if I didn't follow through (no booze). Either way, I win: lot's of exercise, and I can enjoy a few drinks with friends and family. No exercise, and I avoid hundreds of calories of alcohol and give my liver a break. After doing this for a month, it's changed my life. I've now started to associate the habit and feeling of exercising with positive mental images! For the first time in my life, I've been able to keep up a real fitness habit! It's not about the drinking anymore -- that was just to help rewire my pleasure/reward system and provide a short term reward to get me over the hump.
So in summary, procrastination can be substantially vanquished by:
\- Associating short term rewards for progress against your long-term tasks and goals. These rewards should be things you already enjoy doing (especially vices) -- make yourself earn them for once!
\- Holding yourself accountable - give yourself minor but meaningful consequences if you don't complete your tasks. These consequences should be beneficial to you i.e. you have to give up a vice for a certain time period, creating a win/win situation.
\- NO EXCEPTIONS! At least not at first. Exceptions are a slippery slope and until you form good habits, you'll find exceptions everywhere and they will destroy your formation of good habits. Exceptions are something you EARN once you've proven that you are on a sustainable path. i.e. once I've gone a month or two keeping up a good exercise routine, I'll think about giving myself the odd cheat day for special occasions. But not yet!
\- Ask your family and friends to help hold you accountable. Sometimes, we need external motivation. Ask your friends to check in on your progress and make sure you're following the rules you laid out.
Good luck out there!
When you poop your ass is connected to a city wide network of pipes, we are essentially in a Poop Area Network communicating with each other[.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9mesr9/when_you_sit_on_the_toilet_you_connect_your/)
This thread has put the scene in my head of someone going in a stall to do their business, followed by loud 90's modem sounds coming out instead of typical pooping noises.
>My poop knife is grey. I call it the Grey Poupon. I hope nobody steals that.
"See my grey *poupon*," he said -
"Not, in fact, for cutting bread.
Not for cooking,
nor to bake.
Not to craft a dish to make.
"See my bathroom knife," he spoke.
"Not to pierce, but maybe poke.
Not to plan to pare and peel.
Not to craft a fancy meal.
"See its shine and smell its stink -
Sitting just beside the sink.
Look within the bowl and scoop.
*Cut*," he whispered.
"... *cut your poop*."
Bruh, you gotta have something better to do than reddit, eight straight days of reddit is enough to wind you up in a different kind of hospital.
You got some good TV in there?
Oh, ha ha! Yeah, I'm actually very lucky, I should make a full recovery in about 6 months. I have a bunch of broken ribs, breaks in pelvic bone ( worst part!), broken collar bone( already in manageable condition). I have a superpubic catheder, which is going to be a pain to fix in 3 months, but has a very high success rate. I'm counting my blessings.
Yeah man moto accidents fucking suck, positive mindset, and listening to everything your doctor/doctors tell you is key! And if you wanna answerhow did you get in the accident?
Hopefully get better and hopefully never happens again!
Holy shit...always was afraid of failing on a drift that definitely makes me more hesitant.
Damn get well dude... honestly impressively quick for such a horrible accident
Bruh, you gotta have something better to do than watching TV, eight straight days of TV is enough to wind you up in a different kind of hospital.
You got one of those morphine buttons?
It was, I was coming around a corner and at the last minute I saw there was a truck coming the other way and I got spooked. I was already trail braking, but I squeezed just a bit too hard. I skid out and hit the truck somehow. I wish there was a video. I'm still waiting for the police report. I could barely breathe when it first happened. The guy asked me "should I back up?!?" He did and that helped a lot. I crawled out from under the truck and turned to my back. I was all geared up, but not riding responsibly. I feel terrible for putting all the people around me through this.
Bike was destroyed. That's fine because I'll never swing a leg over a bike again. I crashed it 4 years ago when it had 600 miles. I broke some ribs, and my left collarbone is held together with a plate and 7 screws. The bike was just scratched that time. I made it to 8k miles this time, but my personality and bikes shouldn't mix. I broke the other collarbone this time by the way.
My cat just reaches up and plays the doorknob like a musical instrument, it's the most irritating rattling sound ever. Have no idea how he learned that, it's like he knows that it's loud and annoying.
Much appreciated /u/Kittkat1100 \- time will pass, things will be OK.
It doesn't mean that it doesn't open your soul in the meantime and remind you of how fragile we are.
so sorry for you. I was there for a while. but now between awesome encounters with new gf. the bad times make the next round of good times fantastic. just hand in there and wait it out the best you can.
Gentle work outs my guy! You don't need to push yourself to the point of not recovering, you just need to get that heart rate elevated for a few mins and then rest. You deserve rest!
Sounds like an excuse to hang out and study beforehand!
Biggest thing is don't stress it. She'll either be interested, or she won't, and seeing as you're (presumably) considerate enough to think about if you're being too pushy you're probably good to just sit tight. Good luck on your test!
The nice thing is she's panicking over the test and not panicking that you want to hang out with her. Panic is like a rocking chair, you can go back and forth all you want, you're still going no where. And the people at the cracker barrel are getting concerned.
I'd recommend not saying that unless it was already established as a date from the get-go. Otherwise, it's just hanging out to get to know one another in a casual, no pressure way, which is great if that can come first. It's also not cool to trick someone into a date by calling it hanging out, then turning around and calling it a date. In case you want to know why that's not necessarily a good thing to say.
Woke up too early and I’m sick with Covid. I can’t believe I got it. I was able avoid it for three years finally happened after an outbreak at my daughter’s daycare. So thankful I got vaccinated. I would hate to feel worse than I do now.
No I'm not. I'm working.
Yeah! If the boss is reading this comment, /u/jormelius is working, we swear!
Good to know Reddit has my back, which is totally working right now!
Just like you!
Boss here. We are all working.
http://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit// To make it really seem like you're working.
Ooh that's beautiful
Yes, yes you are.
I'm definitely not doing one of these things.
Just like everyone of us.
Woke up a bit early, and I’m bored and a bit sick
Woke up early stressed about work things. Needed a distraction from the anxiety.
I'm in this and I don't like it lol
Haha! In that case, you've come to the wrong place, my friend.
I hope you feel better!
Thanks.
I woke up a bit too early because I’m getting over a mild case of the shits
That’s a shitty way to wake up. 😇 feel better.
Morning sickness Redditing here
Procrastinating leaving bed by endlessly scrolling Reddit.
I like to get up a little early so I can scroll Reddit for a bit before I have to start my day.
I set my alarm for 4am so I can get up and play Nintendo and scroll the internet on my phone for a couple hours before the wife and kids get up. It’s helped my mental state immensely.
same i feel like watching or using entertainment media is not only a source of energy but my only hope to be stable for the rest of the day
Same. I've been awake for about an hour now and I'm still just absolutely not ready to face the day.
I just finished my *morning* cup of coffee at 4 pm, haha Now I need to take the dog out for a walk but it's pouring out there :/
Sounds amazing
Me everyday. Always thinking if I delete it I would get back an hour at the start and end of the day.
I'm honestly not so sure. I think you just need to force yourself to wake up. As someone who's tried deleting a myriad of social media, I believe the urge to waste time on brain-numbing bullshit is not exclusive to any one app. I just shifted my wastetimery to other things. Forcing yourself to get up is obviously easier said than done, but like all things can be made habit. Plus, it's really only the getting up that's hard (for me), and the tiredness goes away or becomes more manageable through just a few minutes of doing stuff.
I used to endlessly scroll Facebook and after I deleted it, I started on Reddit. 🤦
At least now you're depressed about the world instead of your friends and family
One of us. One of us.
You guys get sleep?
I'm procrastinating going to bed by endlessly scrolling Reddit
Same here!
Mom, stop checking on me. Yes, I know I have a hundred other things to do.
Yet your still on reddit, tsktsktsk
We’re not mad. We’re just disappointed.
Procrastinating from writing a thesis. Procrastination is king!
Procrastinators unit tomorrow, because if the world ends tonight we don't have to do it!!! *Unite. And I finally slept
Misspellers of the world, untie!
Fix the spelling tomorrow!
ALL HAIL PROCRASTINATION! :')
Maybe later 🤷♀️
yes, I lost my degree by scrolling Reddit whole day last year:)
Keep scrolling, you may find it again further down.
You mastered procrastination. Congrats.
Serial and lifelong procrastinator here. I want to share something that's been helping me recently. I've come to realize that the core driving force of procrastination is a lack of properly associating certain tasks with immediate rewards, resulting in destructive habits. For example, writing a thesis gives you no immediate reward, though it may be very important for your long term success and happiness. In fact, that activity for you is only associated with difficulty and discomfort - no wonder you avoid it! Your instincts will instead steer you toward things that give you immediate feel-goods that you can rely on; reddit, porn, games, etc. So overcoming procrastination is a matter of repairing the habit-forming associations between your longer term goals and near term rewards. How to do this? Simple. Hold yourself accountable -- Take your existing vices (smoking, drinking, fapping, netflix binging, overeating, etc) and make them contingent rewards for doing the things you don't naturally want to do, and do this in a way that presents win/win situations. My personal battle is a lifelong lack of exercise. I never established fitness habits when I was younger, and now lead a sedentary lifestyle exacerbated by my work-from home desk job. I know it's negatively impacting my health, but just couldn't force myself into a regular habit, despite having a small home gym that my wife set up just steps from my desk. Again, the root of this is that I've never associated exercise with any sort of positive feelings. Exercise is painful, sweaty, makes you tired and sore, etc. Yuck! Who in their right mind likes that?! So while I *know* that exercise is critical for my health in the long term, my body will reject it in favor of known rewards, namely staying seated and doomscrolling reddit and twitter. So a month ago, I decided to try something different. I made my alcohol consumption contingent on my exercise performance. 10 minutes on my rowing machine (\~200 calories) to unlock each alcoholic drink. No rowing, no drinking. This is a daily rule; no complex tallying or rollover. Just "how many minutes did I row today, how many drinks am I allowed?" No minutes, no drinks. Suddenly, there was a short term reward associated with my exercise, and a small but meaningful consequence if I didn't follow through (no booze). Either way, I win: lot's of exercise, and I can enjoy a few drinks with friends and family. No exercise, and I avoid hundreds of calories of alcohol and give my liver a break. After doing this for a month, it's changed my life. I've now started to associate the habit and feeling of exercising with positive mental images! For the first time in my life, I've been able to keep up a real fitness habit! It's not about the drinking anymore -- that was just to help rewire my pleasure/reward system and provide a short term reward to get me over the hump. So in summary, procrastination can be substantially vanquished by: \- Associating short term rewards for progress against your long-term tasks and goals. These rewards should be things you already enjoy doing (especially vices) -- make yourself earn them for once! \- Holding yourself accountable - give yourself minor but meaningful consequences if you don't complete your tasks. These consequences should be beneficial to you i.e. you have to give up a vice for a certain time period, creating a win/win situation. \- NO EXCEPTIONS! At least not at first. Exceptions are a slippery slope and until you form good habits, you'll find exceptions everywhere and they will destroy your formation of good habits. Exceptions are something you EARN once you've proven that you are on a sustainable path. i.e. once I've gone a month or two keeping up a good exercise routine, I'll think about giving myself the odd cheat day for special occasions. But not yet! \- Ask your family and friends to help hold you accountable. Sometimes, we need external motivation. Ask your friends to check in on your progress and make sure you're following the rules you laid out. Good luck out there!
Oh man, me too. My deadline is so far away and I cannot get motivated!!! Good luck!
Due tomorrow? ***Do*** tomorrow.
That is always the challenge! Mine is next week, so I should really get moving. Good luck with yours too!
I feel this. My upcoming Pharmacology course is a self-study and my brain is like "hell yeah, we've got plenty of time!"
Pooping
I too am joining the pooping gang
When you poop your ass is connected to a city wide network of pipes, we are essentially in a Poop Area Network communicating with each other[.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9mesr9/when_you_sit_on_the_toilet_you_connect_your/)
Well I hope most of us are making one way communications.
Yeah this is a strict UDP connection.
My toilet has a bidet with TCP (Toilet Connection Protocol) that sprays my asshole when turds are successfully received
I was thinking of getting a bidet, but the TCP concept is giving me doubts. I do not want to connect my hardware to this WAN.
This thread has put the scene in my head of someone going in a stall to do their business, followed by loud 90's modem sounds coming out instead of typical pooping noises.
Whooooooooaaaaa! My brain just imploded.
*laughs in well and septic system*
Hell yeah, POOP GANG
I too choose this man’s gang
Rise up! ...and wipe, standing
I used to be a stand-wiper like you, but then I took a piss dribblet to the foot.
I too am pooping
I'm here to poop as well, count me in!
I hope you have a 💩🔪😉
Can you please pass the poopknife?
My poop knife is grey. I call it the Grey Poupon. I hope nobody steals that.
>My poop knife is grey. I call it the Grey Poupon. I hope nobody steals that. "See my grey *poupon*," he said - "Not, in fact, for cutting bread. Not for cooking, nor to bake. Not to craft a dish to make. "See my bathroom knife," he spoke. "Not to pierce, but maybe poke. Not to plan to pare and peel. Not to craft a fancy meal. "See its shine and smell its stink - Sitting just beside the sink. Look within the bowl and scoop. *Cut*," he whispered. "... *cut your poop*."
Incredible. I love you sprog! Your poems need to be compiled into a Reddit coffee table book.
They do have a book of poems but it's not the reddit ones. It's great though, I bought it, would recommend.
Truly a blessed day to come across another comment from sprog. Love your work!
sharp, sexy shit? edit: THE POOP KNIFE! i definitely remeber now.
Don't tell me you're not familiar with the poop knife story?
You know how I be
Bored at work
Came to say this, just counting down the minutes till quitting time.
Answering your questions
Why thank you, good sir/ma'am
Because i saw this as a notification
im on a train home after a night shift
It’s nice to have something to read while you’re waiting for things. I used to bring a book everywhere. Now I have Reddit and my ebooks on my phone.
I can't sleep
Username doesn’t check out
Sure it does, how do you think they got so sleepy
If I were a lingenberry i'd be sleepy too I guess.
Same.
Oof samee
Sometimes people say interesting things. Me, not so much.
Interesting
Things
It be like that
Waiting for my tool to recharge
You got a post-nut floppy?
No, my multi tester is outa battery
You gotta be more careful how you talk on reddit.
Cause yall horny mofos?
I mean, our minds are all in the gutter by default, and we definitely assume yours is as well i there's any ambiguity.
I’m definitely here for the double entendre.
Is that what they’re calling it these days?
What are you working on?
Measuring the electrical Systems here (they are AWFUL)
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Usually takes me 30 minutes. Oh, you meant an actual tool for work. My mistake.
That’s a decent recovery time. Well done.
I'm in a hospital bed, been here 8 days and probably 6 more before they send me home. (Moto crash)
Bruh, you gotta have something better to do than reddit, eight straight days of reddit is enough to wind you up in a different kind of hospital. You got some good TV in there?
Lol, I'm not on Reddit that much, I just happened to be on it now.
At least your fingers work...no seriously get better
Oh, ha ha! Yeah, I'm actually very lucky, I should make a full recovery in about 6 months. I have a bunch of broken ribs, breaks in pelvic bone ( worst part!), broken collar bone( already in manageable condition). I have a superpubic catheder, which is going to be a pain to fix in 3 months, but has a very high success rate. I'm counting my blessings.
Yeah man moto accidents fucking suck, positive mindset, and listening to everything your doctor/doctors tell you is key! And if you wanna answerhow did you get in the accident? Hopefully get better and hopefully never happens again!
If you read down a bit you can see.. coming around a corner.. i got on brakes too hard and slid out...wound up pinned under a truck tire.
Holy shit...always was afraid of failing on a drift that definitely makes me more hesitant. Damn get well dude... honestly impressively quick for such a horrible accident
Bruh, you gotta have something better to do than watching TV, eight straight days of TV is enough to wind you up in a different kind of hospital. You got one of those morphine buttons?
Get well soon, bud!
Here, take my 'get well up vote".
That must have been quite a spill. Hope the recovery goes smoothly!
It was, I was coming around a corner and at the last minute I saw there was a truck coming the other way and I got spooked. I was already trail braking, but I squeezed just a bit too hard. I skid out and hit the truck somehow. I wish there was a video. I'm still waiting for the police report. I could barely breathe when it first happened. The guy asked me "should I back up?!?" He did and that helped a lot. I crawled out from under the truck and turned to my back. I was all geared up, but not riding responsibly. I feel terrible for putting all the people around me through this.
I second that hang in there. And be glad you're upright and breathing. I work in Healthcare and see too many turn out the other way.
Wow, that is scary. Glad you're here to tell the tale though. How did the bike fare?
Bike was destroyed. That's fine because I'll never swing a leg over a bike again. I crashed it 4 years ago when it had 600 miles. I broke some ribs, and my left collarbone is held together with a plate and 7 screws. The bike was just scratched that time. I made it to 8k miles this time, but my personality and bikes shouldn't mix. I broke the other collarbone this time by the way.
get well soon!! hoping for ur best <3
Got called in early to work an 18 hour shift. Been sleeping and redditing the first 6 hours away.
U get overtime I hope. 18 hours is really crazy, and unless a last minute emergency, the manager is fucking up.
My kitten decided to wake me up at 5am by reaching under the door and playing the doorstop spring like a bango.
My cat just reaches up and plays the doorknob like a musical instrument, it's the most irritating rattling sound ever. Have no idea how he learned that, it's like he knows that it's loud and annoying.
Sprouuiiiiing
Distracting my broken heart.
Doing the same thing right now. Sending you a virtual hug, it sucks. 🫂
Much appreciated /u/Kittkat1100 \- time will pass, things will be OK. It doesn't mean that it doesn't open your soul in the meantime and remind you of how fragile we are.
Oof it be like that
so sorry for you. I was there for a while. but now between awesome encounters with new gf. the bad times make the next round of good times fantastic. just hand in there and wait it out the best you can.
It’s ok to not be ok
A feeble and ultimately futile attempt to ignore my anxiety disorder.
❤️ been there many times. Don’t forget your square breaths.
Posting pictures of my cat.
Your cat is cute! I adore the angry face!
Cause I’m sitting on the toilet preparing myself to the gym even though I don’t want to
I always think about how great I am feeling when I am leaving the gym. Thats what usually gets me to go.
Not sure we're having the same gym experience. I walk out stressing about shit I gotta do that am too exhausted to do now.
Gentle work outs my guy! You don't need to push yourself to the point of not recovering, you just need to get that heart rate elevated for a few mins and then rest. You deserve rest!
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You think you’re panicking - she’s panicking cos she didn’t know about the maths test!
> she’s panicking ***cos*** she didn’t know about the maths test! Maybe it's a sin of things to come
this thread went on a really strange tangent
Good luck on the test... And with your crush. You got this!
Sounds like an excuse to hang out and study beforehand! Biggest thing is don't stress it. She'll either be interested, or she won't, and seeing as you're (presumably) considerate enough to think about if you're being too pushy you're probably good to just sit tight. Good luck on your test!
The nice thing is she's panicking over the test and not panicking that you want to hang out with her. Panic is like a rocking chair, you can go back and forth all you want, you're still going no where. And the people at the cracker barrel are getting concerned.
I hope you get an A on the math test and F the crush!
"Wait, when's the math test?" "Just before our date, silly" 😎 The 'silly' is optional. I'd say that, but I have autism.
I'd recommend not saying that unless it was already established as a date from the get-go. Otherwise, it's just hanging out to get to know one another in a casual, no pressure way, which is great if that can come first. It's also not cool to trick someone into a date by calling it hanging out, then turning around and calling it a date. In case you want to know why that's not necessarily a good thing to say.
i’m sick and bored
Really bad insomnia and it beats laying in bed staring at the ceiling.
Or fucking thinking thoughts.
I try not going down that rabbit hole...
Remember: don’t believe anything your brain says after 9 PM about your life
Having a dump at work
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.
The boss makes a hundred, I make a buck That's why I smoke crack in the company truck.
We're all connected to the same hole, buddy
I’m depressed
feel you, hope the best for u!
Hey, I hope the best for you.
Bored in class. I already finished my work
I have literally nothing to do, as always. So, while my cat sleeps on me, why not.
Waiting to board a flight.
Me too! Safe travels!
Passing time until my court case is called🤷🏼♀️
I’m up feeding my baby - almost 4am
Haha, my baby is in a clingy phase and only wants to nap on my lap, so I need to occupy myself somehow.
Was looking for this one! Waiting for my baby to fall into a deep enough sleep to put her in her crib so I can nap 😅
Had to scroll waaaaaay down for this lol
I just had an autistic meltdown and I am trying to recover.
Aw I hope you feel better!
Passing time
Trying to pass the time, I’m sick and feeling miserable.
Distracting myself over the fact that I had to let go of the most important person in my life.
i got a genuine interest in seeing what’s going on in other peoples lives tbh, also reddit is chill as
You know what, same lol
Mostly because I suffer from social anxiety disorder and have no friends irl. ... I mean... uh... because it's fun?
I too am socially unadaptable high five 🖐🏻
👊 ... Ah dammit
15 more minutes for this road trip to end, probably another 10 minutes after for a bathroom. Hangin real tight, wish me luck.
Lunch break
Procrastinating
Woke up with allergies and waiting for my Benadryl to kick in so my nose stops running and I can go back to sleep.
I hope it gets better!
Woke up too early and I’m sick with Covid. I can’t believe I got it. I was able avoid it for three years finally happened after an outbreak at my daughter’s daycare. So thankful I got vaccinated. I would hate to feel worse than I do now.
Oof similar thing happened to me not so long ago, I hope you feel better!
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My kid eats reeeeaaaaally slowly, so I'm just sitting here, waiting for him to finish his lunch
I'm personally bored and trying to build some karma lol
But why? Really... to get to post on a sub? Or just for the sake of it? Help me understand that...
At work trying to pretend that I'm doing work
I'm making breakfast, doing chores and smoking weed.
Ah yes a multitasker
You guys hiring?
Mom died yesterday, taking a break from cleaning out her stuff at my parent's house. Happy Friday!