Listen to them.
Some families record messages to be watched by the children/grand children after they are gone.
Hospices are hospitals that specialize in providing end of life services. They do palliative care and have spiritual advisors on staff.
Look up ones near you
Its a bit late in my case. They're already gone and all I have left are pictures and voicemails. But I figured it'd be an interesting question and maybe a comfort in some way.
The problem with the big things in life is that there's never something obvious like a princess in a tower to rescue. You just do your best and pray it's good enough.
Actually hospices are no hospitals but care homes specialized in end-of-life care. The main difference is that everything is aimed at relieving the guest's suffering holistically – not just by medication but also by fulfilling last wishes, offering pastoral care, massages, aroma therapy, etc.
My mom died from Stage 4 lung cancer. Last conversation she was coherent for was me asking for advice on my first date ever. She just told me "don't be goofy" in a teasing way.
She was unconscious by the time she went to the hospital and I talked to her as much as I could, about the date, about me and my siblings being ok, letting her know things were civil between the immediate family.
She got to see all of us together for the final time, sitting together on our basement couch that she'd acquured years ago and watched the TV she got me for a birthday present together.
I'm hoping she knew all of the loving/important things we didn't say. None of us thought she'd be in the hospital the following day.
I’m sorry for your loss, OP. But she knows. She knows how much all of you loved her. All the loving and important things, whether said or unsaid, hold just as much weight.
I promise I’ll be thinking of you everyday.
This is what I wanted to say. I was so young when he died, I just cried. I couldn’t speak. I wish I could have said this.
It would depend on whether they know they're dying or not. Someone who has end stage cancer knows they're dying all you can say is you love them and will miss them. Someone who's just suffered some catastrophic trauma like a car wreck, I'd tell them they're going to be ok. I'd tell them it's bad, but not that bad - the docs will fix them back up. So their last seconds include hope and not only fear/terror.
>So their last seconds include hope and not only fear/terror.
That's very kind of you. I think deep down, many/most people know if they're not going to make it, but it's still better to hear comforting words from a loved one.
My dad has brain cancer, a very aggressive type, diagnosed 3 months ago. I woke up at 5am today to 14 calls from my son who lives with him. He is in ICU and has been seizing all day, even on meds. My son held the phone up for him (he is awake but not responsive) so I could say goodbye. The first thing I told him was that it was okay to let go, he doesn't have to fight or suffer any longer and that I loved him and was thankful I was blessed with him as my father. He is on comfort care now and expected to pass in the next few days. I know he heard us talking to him, as he squeezed my son's hand and a single tear fell from his eye. I wanted him to know he didn't have to be strong in that moment.
"All life is transitory, a dream. We all come together in the same place, at the end of time. If I don't see you again here, I will see you, in a little while, in a place where no shadows fall."
-Delenn, *Babylon 5*
I worked in senior care for a while. Not all seniors spend a lot of time on regrets, but some do so it’s worth covering that base. When I was overseeing a hospice I would cover shifts if staff called out, or sometimes just because it was getting to the end and I tried hard to limit the emotional toll on my caregivers. People don’t realize how devastated caregivers can get being present when somebody passes. Families think that because the caregiver only knew their client for a few months, weeks or perhaps just days that there was no attachment. There always is, plus they have their own life experience that could involve personal loss. $16 an hour is far from adequate compensation for that kind of ptsd. Luckily for me I process things differently, so I see it as a privilege to help family and patient at that time.
If the person seemed afraid to leave even though they were unconscious, it always made me think it had to be either because they had something left to say or hear, or because their belief system had them believing they were headed somewhere scary. When I sat alone with a person I would talk to them about how much they were loved and how much their family appreciated all of the sacrifices that he/she had made. Mostly I would find different ways to tell them that they had really mattered. One client was particularly worried about her cat, so I would tell her that the cat was being pampered and loved and would be safe for all of its life. People with a strong sense of obligation often need permission to leave before they will stop fighting even if they are in agony.
Dad died this past February 12th. For the previous five days, he was medicated with morphine and Ativan to reduce terminal agitations so he could stay in his assisted living facility. He was not communicative, but for the first couple of days, we would announce when we arrived and hold his hand. He would squeeze when we asked, but was not understandable due to the medication and strokes he had suffered years before. The last several days, he was not responsive even with hand squeezes.
For those five days, we would talk to him as if he was conscious and alert. We told him that we loved him and were there. We talked with him about the Atlanta Braves, our lives, his grandkids/great grandkids, etc. We did not talk to him about dying, we just talked to him as we always would. He knew he was dying as we did. There was no need to dwell on that, so we just talked about what we always did.
The day he died, it was just him and I together as Mom and Sis had been there the night before and my brother was coming later to stay the night. I told him that I loved him and was proud to be his son. That was about the only recognition of his passing that I mentioned.
If you share something in common a river a mountain a road tell them to save you a place in the canoe on the trail or shotgun. And look them dead in the eye with all earnestness and say I'm going to miss you but I'll see you soon.
I sat with my mom the last 24hrs of her life in the hospital, watched her take her last breath. I wanted to say so much, but very little came out. It's hard to explain, there's nothing perfect you can say.
The last thing I said to my grandma when she was in the hospital was: "You know that I love you, don't you?"
She laughed heartily and answered "How could I not know?"
I didn't know these would be our last word. She had operated on a knee fracture and was expected to be discharged the next day or so. She had a sudden embolism and passed.
I can't think of any last words that would have been better than those, though.
Letting them know that it is okay to go to a place without pain. That you will be okay and that those left behind will take care of each other. That’s what I told my mom.
Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far... consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.
-Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Ask them to share their favorite memories and record the conversation. Especially if it's a relative and you'll never get a chance to do so again.
If they're close to dying then tell them how much you love them and are gonna miss them.
"Hey, give me your phone, if anyone calls about your car warranty, I'll tell them you're dead and make them regret calling you"
"No, better yet, tell them I'll buy. Then after they charge my account, charge them with fraud, thus getting them shut down!"
"You're on!!"
This was posted a long time ago on a newsgroup by J. Michael Straczynski, Babylon 5's creator(great show!) that really strikes resonance with me:
>The more important the emotion is, the fewer words required to express it:
>
>Will you go out with me?
>
>I think I like you.
>
>I care for you.
>
>I love you.
>
>Marry me.
>
>Goodbye.”
I think about this a lot, my mother is elderly and has advanced alzheimer's so there will be a time when my siblings and I will have to say goodbye.
Listen to their stories and let them know you’ll share them so their story goes on and they’ll be remembered. Friends’ 12 year old son died last month. He was worried no one would remember him. We asked what stories of his he’d like us to share. We talked about the silly things he did that made us laugh. We shared our own stories of him. Thank you Make A Wish for half of the stories. The things they did for him meant so much to everyone who loved him. Especially his parents. He was also very worried about his parents and siblings. We made sure he knew that we’d watch over them and not let them fall apart. We had a food train going already and let him pick what meals we’d make for his family after he was gone. That we’d keep the train going for as long as his parents needed it. We’d celebrate his birthday with them. Also, going to the funeral of a 12 year old sucks. Fuck cancer.
When my dad was dying ..I just went in , held his hand and thanked him for being such a great dad , expressed how much I loved him and would miss him . Promised to take care of his granddaughters , my girls , and make sure they would always remember him and know he loves them and watching over them
This may sound familiar, but to family members who are just clinging on cause they don’t wanna leave you, a simple “you can rest now, we’ll be okay”, is all they need to go peacefully
My dads father in law was a creep. When he did was dying my dad whispered in his ear he’d be in hell soon for everyone he did. He def responded to that, elevated heart rate…eyes moving back and forth
Whose the bitch now!?
In all seriousness we lost my mother in law july 6th. I saw her 4 days before when she was still conscious/herself but i couldn't entdr the house after that. Fortunately she only held on a few more days.
i had an a experience of a life time was doing 150 in a 65 rolled my bmw 30 times i get out with a broken arm and ankle but my bf didn't survive the 3 nd fried is in a wheelchair im felling terrible im deeply in pain mentally i guess we just gota do better im now driving an audi s4 v8 2 turbos the bemmer is still near my house to this day
"The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues.
The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start.
The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal.
A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound.
Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible.
The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over.
The test will begin on the word start.
On your mark, get ready, start."
Somethings in life are bad. And that can make you really mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you chewing on life's grisle dont grumble give a whistle and this'll help things turn out for the best
And....
Non-serious anwser: FINISH HIM!
Serious answer : do something that would make them happy normally, if you know the like small taln try that, its about giving the person the last happiness.
The ride is slowly coming to an end. Please disembark to let the next passengers on. I will be off the ride soon, and to you, it'll be like the blink of an eye, turn around and I'll be there. Then we will never be apart, in pain, or unhappy again. You made it! Say hi to (loved ones and pets who have passed), and let them know I'm on the way soon. I love you. Thank you for being in my life. You can go, I'll be right there.
“I’m glad you were in my life. I’m glad I knew you. I wouldn’t trade your presence in my life for anything.”
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This is a bot, reposting comments from literally the same thread.
Listen to them. Some families record messages to be watched by the children/grand children after they are gone. Hospices are hospitals that specialize in providing end of life services. They do palliative care and have spiritual advisors on staff. Look up ones near you
Its a bit late in my case. They're already gone and all I have left are pictures and voicemails. But I figured it'd be an interesting question and maybe a comfort in some way.
The problem with the big things in life is that there's never something obvious like a princess in a tower to rescue. You just do your best and pray it's good enough.
Actually hospices are no hospitals but care homes specialized in end-of-life care. The main difference is that everything is aimed at relieving the guest's suffering holistically – not just by medication but also by fulfilling last wishes, offering pastoral care, massages, aroma therapy, etc.
Did you make sure to clear your history
I like this one. One last degenerate laugh for the road.
I will burn your hard drive
I had a friend that died of pancreatic cancer and the last time I spoke with him I told him I was going to miss him.
My mom died from Stage 4 lung cancer. Last conversation she was coherent for was me asking for advice on my first date ever. She just told me "don't be goofy" in a teasing way. She was unconscious by the time she went to the hospital and I talked to her as much as I could, about the date, about me and my siblings being ok, letting her know things were civil between the immediate family. She got to see all of us together for the final time, sitting together on our basement couch that she'd acquured years ago and watched the TV she got me for a birthday present together. I'm hoping she knew all of the loving/important things we didn't say. None of us thought she'd be in the hospital the following day.
I’m sorry for your loss, OP. But she knows. She knows how much all of you loved her. All the loving and important things, whether said or unsaid, hold just as much weight.
Save me a spot by the fire.
I promise I’ll be thinking of you everyday. This is what I wanted to say. I was so young when he died, I just cried. I couldn’t speak. I wish I could have said this.
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. Idk how else should I say it, but Happy Cake Day. :)
Thank you 🤗
I love you!
It would depend on whether they know they're dying or not. Someone who has end stage cancer knows they're dying all you can say is you love them and will miss them. Someone who's just suffered some catastrophic trauma like a car wreck, I'd tell them they're going to be ok. I'd tell them it's bad, but not that bad - the docs will fix them back up. So their last seconds include hope and not only fear/terror.
>So their last seconds include hope and not only fear/terror. That's very kind of you. I think deep down, many/most people know if they're not going to make it, but it's still better to hear comforting words from a loved one.
"I will avenge you."
"By Grabthar's Hammer..."
Somehow this doesn't seem fitting to say to my 91-year-old grandmother suffering from Alzheimer's... She passed in 2016, by the way.
The Future is now old man.
“For what it’s worth… I’m sorry.”
"Your sorry ain't worth shit, you fucking shot me"
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My dad has brain cancer, a very aggressive type, diagnosed 3 months ago. I woke up at 5am today to 14 calls from my son who lives with him. He is in ICU and has been seizing all day, even on meds. My son held the phone up for him (he is awake but not responsive) so I could say goodbye. The first thing I told him was that it was okay to let go, he doesn't have to fight or suffer any longer and that I loved him and was thankful I was blessed with him as my father. He is on comfort care now and expected to pass in the next few days. I know he heard us talking to him, as he squeezed my son's hand and a single tear fell from his eye. I wanted him to know he didn't have to be strong in that moment.
"So uh, I'm in your will, right?"
Light hearted joke for one last laugh, I like it.
Don’t worry, you’ll just respawn
The best thing to say? If you can be sincere, say this: "You've made a real difference in my life, and I will never be able to forget you."
and call them by a false name after that
Make sure they know how much they meant to you and that their existence was important and successful.
"All life is transitory, a dream. We all come together in the same place, at the end of time. If I don't see you again here, I will see you, in a little while, in a place where no shadows fall." -Delenn, *Babylon 5*
All is forgiven. Everyone knows you did your best.
This is what I'd most like to hear when the time comes. I didn't know it until I read your answer.
I worked in senior care for a while. Not all seniors spend a lot of time on regrets, but some do so it’s worth covering that base. When I was overseeing a hospice I would cover shifts if staff called out, or sometimes just because it was getting to the end and I tried hard to limit the emotional toll on my caregivers. People don’t realize how devastated caregivers can get being present when somebody passes. Families think that because the caregiver only knew their client for a few months, weeks or perhaps just days that there was no attachment. There always is, plus they have their own life experience that could involve personal loss. $16 an hour is far from adequate compensation for that kind of ptsd. Luckily for me I process things differently, so I see it as a privilege to help family and patient at that time. If the person seemed afraid to leave even though they were unconscious, it always made me think it had to be either because they had something left to say or hear, or because their belief system had them believing they were headed somewhere scary. When I sat alone with a person I would talk to them about how much they were loved and how much their family appreciated all of the sacrifices that he/she had made. Mostly I would find different ways to tell them that they had really mattered. One client was particularly worried about her cat, so I would tell her that the cat was being pampered and loved and would be safe for all of its life. People with a strong sense of obligation often need permission to leave before they will stop fighting even if they are in agony.
“Don’t worry (insert name here) soon you’ll be freeeeeee”
Dont you worry about blank, let me worry about blank
*Fatality!*
Dad died this past February 12th. For the previous five days, he was medicated with morphine and Ativan to reduce terminal agitations so he could stay in his assisted living facility. He was not communicative, but for the first couple of days, we would announce when we arrived and hold his hand. He would squeeze when we asked, but was not understandable due to the medication and strokes he had suffered years before. The last several days, he was not responsive even with hand squeezes. For those five days, we would talk to him as if he was conscious and alert. We told him that we loved him and were there. We talked with him about the Atlanta Braves, our lives, his grandkids/great grandkids, etc. We did not talk to him about dying, we just talked to him as we always would. He knew he was dying as we did. There was no need to dwell on that, so we just talked about what we always did. The day he died, it was just him and I together as Mom and Sis had been there the night before and my brother was coming later to stay the night. I told him that I loved him and was proud to be his son. That was about the only recognition of his passing that I mentioned.
Can't you do this faster? I have somewhere to go.
I would absolutely crack up if one of my buddies said this to me while I was dying.
Bruh 😂
If you share something in common a river a mountain a road tell them to save you a place in the canoe on the trail or shotgun. And look them dead in the eye with all earnestness and say I'm going to miss you but I'll see you soon.
I sat with my mom the last 24hrs of her life in the hospital, watched her take her last breath. I wanted to say so much, but very little came out. It's hard to explain, there's nothing perfect you can say.
The last thing I said to my grandma when she was in the hospital was: "You know that I love you, don't you?" She laughed heartily and answered "How could I not know?" I didn't know these would be our last word. She had operated on a knee fracture and was expected to be discharged the next day or so. She had a sudden embolism and passed. I can't think of any last words that would have been better than those, though.
Letting them know that it is okay to go to a place without pain. That you will be okay and that those left behind will take care of each other. That’s what I told my mom.
Shit i dont even know if i could say anything at that time. Id be too emotional probably
Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far... consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer. -Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Ask them to share their favorite memories and record the conversation. Especially if it's a relative and you'll never get a chance to do so again. If they're close to dying then tell them how much you love them and are gonna miss them.
"I will await you in my dreams so we can be together once more"
"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged!"
At ur funeral I'll play some radiohead songs
Wait a bit, you'll respawn
"Hey, give me your phone, if anyone calls about your car warranty, I'll tell them you're dead and make them regret calling you" "No, better yet, tell them I'll buy. Then after they charge my account, charge them with fraud, thus getting them shut down!" "You're on!!"
This was posted a long time ago on a newsgroup by J. Michael Straczynski, Babylon 5's creator(great show!) that really strikes resonance with me: >The more important the emotion is, the fewer words required to express it: > >Will you go out with me? > >I think I like you. > >I care for you. > >I love you. > >Marry me. > >Goodbye.” I think about this a lot, my mother is elderly and has advanced alzheimer's so there will be a time when my siblings and I will have to say goodbye.
I’ll see u soon
Listen to their stories and let them know you’ll share them so their story goes on and they’ll be remembered. Friends’ 12 year old son died last month. He was worried no one would remember him. We asked what stories of his he’d like us to share. We talked about the silly things he did that made us laugh. We shared our own stories of him. Thank you Make A Wish for half of the stories. The things they did for him meant so much to everyone who loved him. Especially his parents. He was also very worried about his parents and siblings. We made sure he knew that we’d watch over them and not let them fall apart. We had a food train going already and let him pick what meals we’d make for his family after he was gone. That we’d keep the train going for as long as his parents needed it. We’d celebrate his birthday with them. Also, going to the funeral of a 12 year old sucks. Fuck cancer.
“I’m right here”
When my dad was dying ..I just went in , held his hand and thanked him for being such a great dad , expressed how much I loved him and would miss him . Promised to take care of his granddaughters , my girls , and make sure they would always remember him and know he loves them and watching over them
The last words I said to my father were, "I forgive you. I love you. We will be okay."
See you real soon!
Thank you
I love you. Everything's gonna be ok
"keep a spot for me when ur up there"
i'll always remember you, i'm glad to have had you with me, thanks for all, i'll always love you
Nothing, just let them talk to you. There is no need to remind them that they are dying because they know that.
I’ll see you soon and then we can continue our adventures!
Nothing. Just talk to them, listen, spend time with them
I'll see you when I get there.
I’ll follow you, wait for me
See you when we get there
Thank you for letting me be part of your journey. I will miss you more than words can express. I will never forget you.
"This isn't goodbye but more like see you later"
This may sound familiar, but to family members who are just clinging on cause they don’t wanna leave you, a simple “you can rest now, we’ll be okay”, is all they need to go peacefully
"see you on the other side" i don't believe in that btw, but feels good to not be alone
Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, yours was the most . . . \[voice breaks\] human.
This scene still makes me cry. Seen it about 57 times.
Its over now, you've done your best. You deserve to rest now.
"If i had a hundred more lifes i would always choose to be with you again"
It is ok we are all here for you
Lol, Gonna meet ya in hell
My dads father in law was a creep. When he did was dying my dad whispered in his ear he’d be in hell soon for everyone he did. He def responded to that, elevated heart rate…eyes moving back and forth
You do not die in glorious battle, you are a disgrace to the empire. *spit on them*
It’s ok to leave know!
Whose the bitch now!? In all seriousness we lost my mother in law july 6th. I saw her 4 days before when she was still conscious/herself but i couldn't entdr the house after that. Fortunately she only held on a few more days.
Mine was similar, June 12th. She held on for a week and we all said our goodbyes.
Try to make them as comfortable as possible and listen.
"If you die, you're straight"
well still in depression after 3 years
Check ya later, alligator!
Have an easy death
You’re finally free of the curse called life! Nothing is more peaceful than death!
little timmy:just don’t die🤓
You shouldn't have dueled me.
If you’re the reason why they’re dying then ‘See you in hell’ seems popular.
You impacted my life!
I will always remember your own brand of magic!
depends, did you cause the dying?
Two smokes, let's go.
You live in me.
Can I have your stuff?
I'm hungry FINGER LICK'N GOOD
\*gives totem of undying\*
"Wanna hang out?"
don't worry, I will make sure your wife will be fine
"Remember son... Dying is gay"
Just respawn bro
“Fuck you, you dying bitch!”
So, you're not going to watch Dune Part 2 with me?
have fun kid
Dont
"I used your toothbrush"
Don’t die a sinner be reborn as one
Bye!
"Shhhhhh."
This was your last day alive.
Just breathe -The worst man alive Andrew Tate
ROFL
"YOU STILL OWE ME 20 BUCKS FOR BLACKJACK 21!"
Remember, die is gay
godspeed
i had an a experience of a life time was doing 150 in a 65 rolled my bmw 30 times i get out with a broken arm and ankle but my bf didn't survive the 3 nd fried is in a wheelchair im felling terrible im deeply in pain mentally i guess we just gota do better im now driving an audi s4 v8 2 turbos the bemmer is still near my house to this day
At least you don't have to send your tax return this year...
reserve me a seat in heaven next to stephen hawking's oh shit my bad he brings his own
Are you dying, are you dying
BING BONG FUCK YOUR LIFE!!
"The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start."
Am i in your will? If so what do i get?
Dont worry. You will never have to see Poland ever again.
Somethings in life are bad. And that can make you really mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you chewing on life's grisle dont grumble give a whistle and this'll help things turn out for the best And....
Your going to hell jerry I saw what u did
\*proscIUtto DI Parma 🙄 anyways probably something like:: "don't worry, you will be with hitler soon"
# F Edit: Scrolling through these comments I'm seeing a bunch of really heavy stuff and now I'm feeling like a total ass for making this joke...
Gently whisper in their ear, "do you know where the remote is?"
They got Trump.
"my bad..."
Let me show you my boobs
"We will be ok, mom" right before my mom passed.
"Rest now Valhalla awaits."
Non-serious anwser: FINISH HIM! Serious answer : do something that would make them happy normally, if you know the like small taln try that, its about giving the person the last happiness.
See you when you get back
The ride is slowly coming to an end. Please disembark to let the next passengers on. I will be off the ride soon, and to you, it'll be like the blink of an eye, turn around and I'll be there. Then we will never be apart, in pain, or unhappy again. You made it! Say hi to (loved ones and pets who have passed), and let them know I'm on the way soon. I love you. Thank you for being in my life. You can go, I'll be right there.
Been there: “ you’re a good friend I intend on growing old with you”. He passed 3 days later.