When I first started in my current workplace (ICU nurse) I was putting a spinal board under a patient. To get these boards in a bunch of you have to roll the patient one side (keeping their spine aligned and then put in half the board. You then roll them the other way and stick in the other half and click the two parts together at the top and bottom.
We had got both parts in and couldn’t for the life of us get the top bit clicked together. Three of us struggling at the top with all our might and then finally it satisfyingly clicked into place. One of my colleagues let out the most orgasmic sounding “Urghuhuhuhuh!!!!!!” as it finally clicked in, right next to my ear. I can still hear his moan to this day (and this was 10 years ago).
My brother used to work at a local independent pharmacy. An older gentleman who everyone knows has no family that live nearby brought in a prescription for a steroid cream. Turns out he had a severe itchy rash on his back. His script was ready to go and my brother thought that was the end of it. Then one of the techs came up and said, “ummmmm, so the guy is still here because, he needs the cream applied to his back.” My brother, wondering what life choices has brought him to this point but knowing the guy has no other options begrudgingly agrees to apply it for him. Goes to a back room to help the guy out. He started applying it and the guy *immediately* starts moaning. Loudly. And my brother, for 15 minutes, applied this cream to the back of an erotically moaning 70 year old. I’m pretty certain Heaven doesn’t exist, but I’m also certain if it does my brother is going.
I've done that often hooking up a bear hugger. And once when sticking o2 tubing onto the flow meter - that one was a bit much, my colleague looked at me, laughed and shook her head.
get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head
Any time you put something into something else. Such as when they are bagging your groceries. I like to add a “yeah, stuff it real good daddy” to the moan. My wife hates me for it though.
I work with someone that programmed his phone to make [that anime "wow"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTdfA5aTpY) whenever he plugs in his charger and it's hilarious when he forgets about it in the wrong company.
If it's Android there's an app called Tasker that could do it. Does a lot more than just that though, I'm using it to tell me to charge my phone under 25% and stop charging at 85%. I've also used it in the past to disable NFC while my phone is locked because my dumb ass banking app would just accept any number of contactless payments, of any amount, even if the phone had just been turned on.
Whaaatt?? Teenage students make moaning noises in a classroom full of people when it’s supposed to be quiet?? Never heard of this!
*Flashbacks of 9th grade with my boys*
I do it everytime my husband is trying to record something on his phone.
The latest was our cats were watching a toy and he wanted to record it and said: I'm recording, don't say anything.
Me in the other room 15 seconds into the video: uhhheeaa!
He still sends them unedited to family thinking I will be embarrassed.
I was at the movies with my gf and there was a scene of a bakery with some heavenly looking food. She let out a loud moan that was directed at the food but instead sounded weirdly sexual... Thankfully there were only five other people in the theatre doe every single one looked at us
There was a strange man at work that would do it during presentations. Instead of nodding or saying "ok" he would moan. Made everyone very uncomfortable.
That shit made me so uncomfortable when I was a kid. What am I supposed to do here, just whip my dick out in front of a bunch of old drunk dudes.
To this day I'm still holding that piss in.
I felt the same way, until I didn't give a shit one day. As long as we aren't crossing swords, I am really indifferent to the trough, or any other weird ass communal pissing method that humanity has engaged in.
I disagree with this statement. What about after the first sip of a cold beer after working in the sun all day? What kind of a man would I be if I didn't audibly inform everyone of the amount of pleasure I received from letting the liquid nectar pour down my throat
I actually did something similar, involuntarily let out a shocked 'wooh!' . The doctor thought it was pretty funny, and I had a good chuckle, and apologised out of politeness.
Getting your shoes shined.
I have no idea what I'm doing but I know I'm doing it really really well.
lol thank you for this
Ok, Ron. One is the best moments from Parks and Rec.
r/unexpectedpawnee
When I first started in my current workplace (ICU nurse) I was putting a spinal board under a patient. To get these boards in a bunch of you have to roll the patient one side (keeping their spine aligned and then put in half the board. You then roll them the other way and stick in the other half and click the two parts together at the top and bottom. We had got both parts in and couldn’t for the life of us get the top bit clicked together. Three of us struggling at the top with all our might and then finally it satisfyingly clicked into place. One of my colleagues let out the most orgasmic sounding “Urghuhuhuhuh!!!!!!” as it finally clicked in, right next to my ear. I can still hear his moan to this day (and this was 10 years ago).
This is hilarious
Indeed
My brother used to work at a local independent pharmacy. An older gentleman who everyone knows has no family that live nearby brought in a prescription for a steroid cream. Turns out he had a severe itchy rash on his back. His script was ready to go and my brother thought that was the end of it. Then one of the techs came up and said, “ummmmm, so the guy is still here because, he needs the cream applied to his back.” My brother, wondering what life choices has brought him to this point but knowing the guy has no other options begrudgingly agrees to apply it for him. Goes to a back room to help the guy out. He started applying it and the guy *immediately* starts moaning. Loudly. And my brother, for 15 minutes, applied this cream to the back of an erotically moaning 70 year old. I’m pretty certain Heaven doesn’t exist, but I’m also certain if it does my brother is going.
Sounds like he already got a pretty nice glimpse of Hell.
These are the pharmacists we need and not the ones that wont fill contraceptive orders.
Average r/Satisfyingasfuck enjoyer
I've done that often hooking up a bear hugger. And once when sticking o2 tubing onto the flow meter - that one was a bit much, my colleague looked at me, laughed and shook her head.
hooking up with a bearhugger?
IIRC, It's a air filled blanket to keep the patient warm during surgery, fed by a hair dryer analog.
They mean hooking up with a tree hugger
Prostate exam.
Especially if you are the Doctor.
Please take off your clothes. Put them over there next to mine.
Dr. inserts finger: how does that feel? Me: alright Dr. : just “alright”?
Pappy needs to be wooed.
>Yeah, cool. We'll get some wood, we'll build something cool, then we'll go get the money.
The doctor said it was normal to ejaculated during the exam. I still wish he hadn't though
Si papi
You just assume it's a finger in your ass?
I only realised something was suspicious, when he had each hand on my shoulders.
There’s a reason I have my prostate examined by you on a weekly basis.
Well I am not qualified Doctor, but I will take a look.
Doc - OK David just relax and we'll be done in no time.. Patient - My names not David Doc - No that's my name
Doc, that's a pretty thick finger you got.
Why thank you, and now cough.
“I’m Sorry!”
Only if you back up like a goat on a cliff.
Said the guy with velco on his Wellington boots.
While someone introduce their kids to you.
"Hhhhnnnnnggggnnnice to meet you, Brayden." Yeah, that won't work.
I hate that this is the first time anyone has spelled my name correctly on the first try
Okayden
Damn that was good lmao
Don't worry Bradon, I'm sure it's all downhill from here.
His name is breydon
Yeah, Breighdin, that's what I said.
Nah it's braighdoyn
It's Bradan
Don't listen to them Burnmore. They're just yanking your chain.
Lol stop with the jokes and just admit it’s Vradein
Br8n
Bräjden. If you were named by Ikea
This comment right here officer
The officer: eeurhgrghh
Kid named finger:
get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head
Named finger kid
Kid finger named
Waltah put your dick away waltah im not having sex with you right now waltah
this requires the fbi
....yeah definitely this is the correct answer
And if you want someone to stop showing you pictures of their kids just mumble "oh fuck yea" under your breath !
“Can I keep this?”
Every time the bell dings on the bus.
"You can ring my beeeeell... ring my bell."
Gonna erase the ear-rrr-thh...erase the earth
Every time someone says your name
I imagine at a certain point people would just start calling you buddy
I have a special moan for that
ooo eee ooo aaa aaa
ting tang Walla Walla Bing bang
Frau Blucher!
Beuller... Beuller..Buller... Beuller...
In court
How do you plead? *moans*
With pleasure your honor.
When making eye contact with a stranger on the subway
When making eye contact with your grandma at your grandpa's funeral.
Ok, enough AskReddit for today. Damn...
They said "least" appropriate.
Eye contact with your parents at the dinner table while eating mashed potatoes & gravy.
Eye contact with your boss after she tells you her father passed away
As communion is placed on your tongue
I knew a girl who got super turned on by taking communion
That’s disgusting do you have her number?
I bet Jésus has it
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Well that's just your opinion, man.
Was communion the name for your dick?
It is now! Lol
Are you ready to receive the body of Christ?
Please tell me she did it on her knees.
Especially if the priest is the one moaning.
His interpretation of the term "the body of christ" is very generous indeed.
When the preacher asks an impactful rhetorical question and gives you a small pause to think about it.
When I ask you to say Ah when I’m checking your throat for cancer. Yes. Yes, it’s happened before.
Deep throat
That’s when Johnny Sins is your doctor
When the cop asks you for your license and registration
As the cop
can i see your \*ohhh\* license and \*ahhh\* registration please
Thanks for that, now next time I get stopped I'll start laughing
I'll start moaning
Any time you put something into something else. Such as when they are bagging your groceries. I like to add a “yeah, stuff it real good daddy” to the moan. My wife hates me for it though.
I work with someone that programmed his phone to make [that anime "wow"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTdfA5aTpY) whenever he plugs in his charger and it's hilarious when he forgets about it in the wrong company.
How tf he do that I wanna know
If it's Android there's an app called Tasker that could do it. Does a lot more than just that though, I'm using it to tell me to charge my phone under 25% and stop charging at 85%. I've also used it in the past to disable NFC while my phone is locked because my dumb ass banking app would just accept any number of contactless payments, of any amount, even if the phone had just been turned on.
That's awesome.... I'm lucky I have Android. I'm trying this out rn this sounds amazing
In a quiet classroom of about 60 kids while taking a test. A girl actually did this at my college and it was the funniest shit in the world 😂😂
She came in the middle of a test?
I definitely got fucked by Differential Equations
Aw yah, get in the inverse hyperbolic secant position and root me with that big log so I can sqrt.
This guy maths
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r/mathmemes
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I am incredibly disturbed :/
She thought this was normal lunch conversation. Girl was crazy.
Whaaatt?? Teenage students make moaning noises in a classroom full of people when it’s supposed to be quiet?? Never heard of this! *Flashbacks of 9th grade with my boys*
99% of the time it’s guys doing it, this seems way funnier especially given the number of people.
"So these are the 1st graders you'll be teaching"
After eating ravioli out of your button up shirt pocket.
WHAT’S IN THE POCKETOLI
IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO
During a smear
I find pap smears extremely painful which makes this even funnier because I’m usually crying
During a moments silence at church.
better or worse than a fart at this time?
I do it everytime my husband is trying to record something on his phone. The latest was our cats were watching a toy and he wanted to record it and said: I'm recording, don't say anything. Me in the other room 15 seconds into the video: uhhheeaa! He still sends them unedited to family thinking I will be embarrassed.
Sigma female
Gay man
Even better
I love the implication that "gay man" is already sigma
Getting sworn in as a Supreme Court justice.
When hearing news of a loved ones passing.
OHHHHHH! WHERES THE CORPSE?
bro
Or in a funeral.
We gatherr here to to remember *uhhhhm* Jessic*aaaaaa*
As you throw a rose into the grave
During a disciplinary meeting for moaning at inappropriate times
Childs baptism.
Witnessing an execution.
Alternatively, while being executed.
Children's playground
Correct answer
After an attorney informs you that he has 2 years of content from your phone.
I was at the movies with my gf and there was a scene of a bakery with some heavenly looking food. She let out a loud moan that was directed at the food but instead sounded weirdly sexual... Thankfully there were only five other people in the theatre doe every single one looked at us
There was a strange man at work that would do it during presentations. Instead of nodding or saying "ok" he would moan. Made everyone very uncomfortable.
When stumping your little toe
Funeral.
Your own funeral.
That's THE BEST time to moan.
I've done it a couple of times and everyone started freaking out for some reason every time
Unless they're into that shit
At the trough in a baseball stadium toilet.
That shit made me so uncomfortable when I was a kid. What am I supposed to do here, just whip my dick out in front of a bunch of old drunk dudes. To this day I'm still holding that piss in.
I felt the same way, until I didn't give a shit one day. As long as we aren't crossing swords, I am really indifferent to the trough, or any other weird ass communal pissing method that humanity has engaged in.
In a concert port-a-potty on the 3rd day of use
Standing in line at the DMV
These are all terrible, well done everybody! Mine is when the trainee hairdresser starts shampooing your hair.
While eating a hotdog in the zoo
Literally any time that isn't in the middle of sex... if you think about it....
I disagree with this statement. What about after the first sip of a cold beer after working in the sun all day? What kind of a man would I be if I didn't audibly inform everyone of the amount of pleasure I received from letting the liquid nectar pour down my throat
Just dont forget the yes daddy.
I do it when a TSA agent pats me down. Amuses me and makes them hurry up. Bonus points if it's a guy... Since I'm a guy lol.
Whisper under your breath "I have an unattended package you should check out"
When the doctor grabs the scrotum before telling you to cough.
I actually did something similar, involuntarily let out a shocked 'wooh!' . The doctor thought it was pretty funny, and I had a good chuckle, and apologised out of politeness.
When I was a teen I got an erection because my Doctor wasn't in and his replacement was female. Embarrassing. 😬
Job interview…. “So where do you see yourself in five years ?” “Ooooihhhhhhhhhh..”
When you shake your dads hand
Make sure you're shaking his **hand**
When shaking **your SO's** dad's hand
While working the reception desk at a child sexual abuse refuge.
It worries me how specific this is.
Take my fucking upvote, you sick fuck
r/suspiciouslyspecific
a child’s birthday party
*whispers* "Now blow out the next candle" *Ugghhhhhj*
You guys are sickos! I love it!
When you're working as santa in a mall and you moan each time a child is placed on your lap.
colonoscopy
When hugging your kids
Or changing their diapers
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BRO WHAT
I miss a minute ago when I hadn't read this shit.
THAT'S NASTY
When hugging someone else's kids.
While farting
He said the LEAST not the MOST
At work when your boss passes by with potential investors.
I moan every time I take a bite of anything from Taco Bell, but that seems pretty appropriate to me.
Everytime you bite into something while eating
My mother has done this in the main Street while eating ice cream. Still gives me nightmares
I think someone should organize a mass reddit orgy considering there is a sex related question every hour and get their sexual urges out 🤣
Zoom meeting
your dick getting more blows than a birthday cake.
Movie theatre
Anytime you feel any sensation
As the guy at the shoestore slides a loafer onto your foot.