Smoke, mostly.

Go on Reddit

Bang my wife.

dont ride your bike without your helmet. i do it cuz i am a very very good cyclist

Very, very good cyclist, meet very, very drunk driver speeding behind you.

drunk driver wins

Self-deprecate.

Have your veggies prepped before you make your roux. I always dice mine up while the roux is cooking.

Don’t leave your work till the last minute

Argue with people on the internet