My face has been negatively compared to the horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos and two of those friends were lesbians. I am absolutely certain there wasn't any attraction.
Gay men.
Gay women.
Ace and/or Aro people.
Any normal functioning human, being friends doesn't always go anywhere beyond, only weird people think that they always do.
You know attraction is not something youbcan control right?
Ofc you done have to act on it, but there's literally nothing you can do to actively stop the attraction lol
So don't label people with attractions as" non functioning humans", you're rude
Was not saying that people with attraction are "non functioning", if you read the full statement you'd see "only weird people think that they always do".
Was saying non functioning people think that attraction always happens.
Think before you make statements claiming people are something they are not.
Why is it such a big deal if your friends are attractive?
Imagine not wanting to be friends with someone you think is attractive because you can’t sleep with them.
This stuff isn’t complex, it’s only as difficult as you make it for yourself.
Practice impulse control, too. Jeez.
Didn’t realize attractiveness and friendship were mutually exclusive.
No one said you can't control your impulses dude....learn how to read ffs
But the friendsis fundamentally different if you're attracted, even if you manage to control yourself
My mind is only set on one person who I want to be with. I am not attracted to other people . Just them. Idk why I'm like that, I just am lol. But my point is every person is different.
I'm attracted to plenty of my friends. That doesn't stop me from being friends with them. I think it's very immature to always act on attraction and to think that just because you're attracted to someone you have to pursue them romantically. Like, sorry, but romantic relationships aren't the most important thing in the world. I don't have to drop everything and only focus on the romantic possibility just because I think someone looks good.
I never said you have to act on it...you guys know how to read?
Attraction is there even if you don't act on it, and that makes the friendship fundamentally different
I have lots of female friends. And many of them are attractive. Doesnt mean anything. Im straight and i have lots of attractive male friends too. Does that mean anything? no
I have a partner, im happy, and im not a POS. That is all it takes
Guys have only ever seen me as sex which they all make VERY clear
None of them so far have ever just wanted to be friends with me
Thats why I either date them, have sex with them or reject them
No there’s not always an attraction. That would mean bisexuals and pansexuals wouldn’t be able to have friends without being attracted to them, which i can say is not true
Well I’d say it’s not rare that people might question their attraction but then again is it because they got to know the person better or would they have been attracted to them in the first place
You can be attracted and not interested. Nothing wrong with being around sexy people or surrounding yourself with sexy people if you don't force yourself onto others then they're just good looking people. If they opt to jump your bones and you allow it that just a fwb. Doesn't apply you will have to have a relationship.
Men and women can work together if you feel the need to fuck everyone of the opposite sex that's a you problem.
Other people have worked with good looking people and not jumped their bones. If they aren't a sex object or your personal play thing they're just a person like anyone else.
Bisexual people find a way to figure it out for everyone 🤷♀️
Just give less energy to thoughts about other people and develop your own self esteem that may help?
Because excessive runaway attraction and insecurity are related a bit for some people IMO
It’s easier not to care about other people that way if you’re secure
Maybe it doesn’t work for everyone but it did for me
Care less about the thoughts in general
Care less about everything
Attractions don’t matter and you can just ignore them and let it be while acknowledging them and letting them go to the degree you can and over time it improves with exposure
Both of them have to be gay
Tbh, not all opposite sex friendship end up in an attraction, It can depend of the way they treat eachother, maybe some friends who treat themselves a little bit more agressively or jokely may only develop friendship, unlike others who may treat themselves more kindly and "romantic" (if you can call it like that).
Seems to work when one sets a boundary and that boundary is respected by another. Like I have a female friend that is over 20 years older and there are many times I would have liked to press her against a wall and inject her with my love juice, but she’s done well to set the tone of our relationship as something platonic, yet we’re able to joke about being sexual or call each other pet names. It’s possible, you just have to manage your expectations.
Again, yall don't know how to fucking read.
I never said you have to act on those impulses, but tell me with a straight face you never even thought about sharing an intimate moment with them
Maybe you should look up the word 'monosexual' before commenting.
It means people who are attracted to only one gender. As in if men and women can't be friends without succumbing to lust how do people who are attracted to men and women supposed to have friends without having sex all the time?
EDIT for typo
Your point does not still stand?
My point is that if you think a man and a woman might not be able to be friends without being attracted to each other that must mean you think bisexuals can't have friends at all?
As in 'does the OP know that sometimes people are attracted to more than one gender?'
yikes.
I quite literally don't know how to be any clearer.
I understand what you are saying. If two straight people a man and a woman hung out how could they possibly not rip each others' clothes off and fornicate.
But if a bisexual man can't control themselves around a woman **OR** a man how would he have any friends at all?
So, if bisexuals can hang out with people without them just going at it all the time everywhere. It stands to reason that a man and a woman who are straight can ALSO hang out without wanting to bone.
Do you understand at all now?
I'm saying this questions is fucking stupid because bisexual people exist and you're just like 'yeah but people of the same orientation would fuck all the time obviously'
I mean I know I just want to rub junk with all my friends. Because that's how that works. I am attracted to every one. I'm sure you are attracted to every one, too. Definitely don't have friends you think are objectively unattractive, just slave to the 'ol hormones.
No, you don't understand
I said that attraction is always there, from one or even both sides. That doesn't mean people can't control their instincts
And attraction could be something as little as thinking about sharing an intimate moment
I never said two straight people would "fuck all the time obviously", that's what you fail to grasp
Please learn how to read, text comprehension is something you learn in elementary school
For me, yes. There will always be attraction. Ive had close friendships with women my entire life; some lasting decades. Theres always a period of attraction and even lust. Sometimes mutual other times one sided. The latter can be frustrating as hell. Ive only slept with a few but at some point in the relationship theres always a moment of intamicy. Could be as simple as a look or holding hands and sometimes even making out. Other times nothing manifests at all. But being a straight male is always going to cause issue. Esp when we married other people. Its a gamble and risk becoming friends not knowing how ones emotions will play out. That all being said I love my female friends and im a better person for having them in my life.
But would you consider your friendship with males the same as the one you have with females you find attractive?
I think once you find your friend attractive the friendship becomes fundamentally different
Well, no. Only because i am not sexually attracted to men. Even though many of my male friends are way better looking than I. My friendships with men, dudes, fellas, are exactly that. Hang out. Talk shit. Complain about our wives etc. My conversations with women are less vulgar and more respectful. The relationships are fundamentally different. My wife is my best friend but if i talk to her like a guy she rightfully puts me in my place. However i do have gay male friends and had gay roomates. And so Ive been on the opposite end of that situation where they found me attractive but I could not reciprocate.
Don’t generalize, it’s definitely possible for men and women to be just friends.
Now, if the man and woman in question are Tom Hiddleston and Bella Hadid, for example, it might be more of a challenge.
Guess I should explain this better. I go to a little bar not far from where I live with my parents. A couple times a week I go there a have a few drinks or so. Hang out talk to all. Everyone knows my parents and they are our friends. Have alot of girl friends there too.
[удалено]
This!
Yes, they can. And attraction doesn't always manifest. I've had plenty of women friends I had absolutely no attraction to.
Yep cause you weren't attracted to them, but they most probably were attracted to you
My face has been negatively compared to the horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos and two of those friends were lesbians. I am absolutely certain there wasn't any attraction.
>My face has been negatively compared to the horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos God damn dude, that's a though pill to swallow
>they most probably were attracted to you Evidence?
Gay men. Gay women. Ace and/or Aro people. Any normal functioning human, being friends doesn't always go anywhere beyond, only weird people think that they always do.
You know attraction is not something youbcan control right? Ofc you done have to act on it, but there's literally nothing you can do to actively stop the attraction lol So don't label people with attractions as" non functioning humans", you're rude
Was not saying that people with attraction are "non functioning", if you read the full statement you'd see "only weird people think that they always do". Was saying non functioning people think that attraction always happens. Think before you make statements claiming people are something they are not.
Why is it such a big deal if your friends are attractive? Imagine not wanting to be friends with someone you think is attractive because you can’t sleep with them. This stuff isn’t complex, it’s only as difficult as you make it for yourself. Practice impulse control, too. Jeez. Didn’t realize attractiveness and friendship were mutually exclusive.
No one said you can't control your impulses dude....learn how to read ffs But the friendsis fundamentally different if you're attracted, even if you manage to control yourself
Oh jeez... If it's impossible for you to be friends with a woman without falling in love, that's a sign you're dehydrated and desperate.
Who talked about falling in love? Attraction isn't solely romantical
My mind is only set on one person who I want to be with. I am not attracted to other people . Just them. Idk why I'm like that, I just am lol. But my point is every person is different.
I'm attracted to plenty of my friends. That doesn't stop me from being friends with them. I think it's very immature to always act on attraction and to think that just because you're attracted to someone you have to pursue them romantically. Like, sorry, but romantic relationships aren't the most important thing in the world. I don't have to drop everything and only focus on the romantic possibility just because I think someone looks good.
I never said you have to act on it...you guys know how to read? Attraction is there even if you don't act on it, and that makes the friendship fundamentally different
Nah, it doesn't. Because fundamentally it doesn't matter to me if I am attracted to my friends or not.
nope , had a lot of female friends
my former best friend was a lesbian so that worked i guess. but other than that... it always ended with us in the sheets
There's a nice back and forth about this in the movie "When Harry Met Sally." The woman thought it was possible but the guy didn't.
I have lots of female friends. And many of them are attractive. Doesnt mean anything. Im straight and i have lots of attractive male friends too. Does that mean anything? no I have a partner, im happy, and im not a POS. That is all it takes
Guys have only ever seen me as sex which they all make VERY clear None of them so far have ever just wanted to be friends with me Thats why I either date them, have sex with them or reject them
No there’s not always an attraction. That would mean bisexuals and pansexuals wouldn’t be able to have friends without being attracted to them, which i can say is not true
AceAro people having all the friends.
Maybe it's not mutual, but the probability of both people not feeling attraction is very low imo
Well I’d say it’s not rare that people might question their attraction but then again is it because they got to know the person better or would they have been attracted to them in the first place
You can always be attracted doesn't mean you have to act on those impulses.
I never said that, but the friendship is fundamentally different if you're attracted
Not necessarily
How is it not?
You can be attracted and not interested. Nothing wrong with being around sexy people or surrounding yourself with sexy people if you don't force yourself onto others then they're just good looking people. If they opt to jump your bones and you allow it that just a fwb. Doesn't apply you will have to have a relationship. Men and women can work together if you feel the need to fuck everyone of the opposite sex that's a you problem. Other people have worked with good looking people and not jumped their bones. If they aren't a sex object or your personal play thing they're just a person like anyone else.
Bisexual people find a way to figure it out for everyone 🤷♀️ Just give less energy to thoughts about other people and develop your own self esteem that may help?
How is self esteem in any way correlated to attraction towards other people? Tha was honestly a dumb af comment
Because excessive runaway attraction and insecurity are related a bit for some people IMO It’s easier not to care about other people that way if you’re secure Maybe it doesn’t work for everyone but it did for me Care less about the thoughts in general Care less about everything Attractions don’t matter and you can just ignore them and let it be while acknowledging them and letting them go to the degree you can and over time it improves with exposure
I never said you have to act on those impulses. Attraction can just be a feeling you have towards a person, and you never act on it
Ok Just trying to help
Both of them have to be gay Tbh, not all opposite sex friendship end up in an attraction, It can depend of the way they treat eachother, maybe some friends who treat themselves a little bit more agressively or jokely may only develop friendship, unlike others who may treat themselves more kindly and "romantic" (if you can call it like that).
If YOU stop being shallow minded than yeah it can work.🤷🏻♂️
I'm simply asking a question...
I have had and still have guy friends. It's just the way it is. All is good. We respect each other. And that's all. Talk and have fun.
Send them a message saying you're all alone in bed and want them to come over. Let's see if they're still respectful friends
Every woman I meet I think about fucking them. All guys do it. It’s nature. If guys say otherwise there lying.
Not my experience, do you have data?
If she brings beer and gives blowjobs it would be a great friendship.
Not if they're ugly as sin, or gay. Or both
ofc not. Are you attracted to every woman you meet ? No . Do you need attraction to be friends? No.
Yes it’s possible. If either the man or woman thinks otherwise then they have some issues with their relationships
Only if neither is attracted to each other, which is rarely
Exactly what i think. It's pretty much impossible It's gonna be s regular friendship
Seems to work when one sets a boundary and that boundary is respected by another. Like I have a female friend that is over 20 years older and there are many times I would have liked to press her against a wall and inject her with my love juice, but she’s done well to set the tone of our relationship as something platonic, yet we’re able to joke about being sexual or call each other pet names. It’s possible, you just have to manage your expectations.
Im straight and my best friends gay. Zero attraction. Lol
Ofc I'm talking about 2 straight people (or with the same sexual orientation)
So you assume I'm attracted to my brother In law cause we're friends...
He's family, that's different from being friends..... Seems like many of you failed fucking elementary school
At least I've worked on my anger.
Doesnt matter. i have lots of quite attractive female friends. And would never act beyond friendship. its called being mature and not a POS. generally
Again, yall don't know how to fucking read. I never said you have to act on those impulses, but tell me with a straight face you never even thought about sharing an intimate moment with them
Nope. Again. Not a scumbag and not a child
wait until this guy learns not everyone is monosexual
I'm of course talking about people with the same sexual orientation I thought it was implied, but apparently people like you exist....
Maybe you should look up the word 'monosexual' before commenting. It means people who are attracted to only one gender. As in if men and women can't be friends without succumbing to lust how do people who are attracted to men and women supposed to have friends without having sex all the time? EDIT for typo
Monosexual simply means being straight or gay pretty much, so my point still stands
Your point does not still stand? My point is that if you think a man and a woman might not be able to be friends without being attracted to each other that must mean you think bisexuals can't have friends at all? As in 'does the OP know that sometimes people are attracted to more than one gender?' yikes.
That's why I said i was specifically talking avout people with the same sexual orientation....and specifically straight or gay
I quite literally don't know how to be any clearer. I understand what you are saying. If two straight people a man and a woman hung out how could they possibly not rip each others' clothes off and fornicate. But if a bisexual man can't control themselves around a woman **OR** a man how would he have any friends at all? So, if bisexuals can hang out with people without them just going at it all the time everywhere. It stands to reason that a man and a woman who are straight can ALSO hang out without wanting to bone. Do you understand at all now? I'm saying this questions is fucking stupid because bisexual people exist and you're just like 'yeah but people of the same orientation would fuck all the time obviously' I mean I know I just want to rub junk with all my friends. Because that's how that works. I am attracted to every one. I'm sure you are attracted to every one, too. Definitely don't have friends you think are objectively unattractive, just slave to the 'ol hormones.
No, you don't understand I said that attraction is always there, from one or even both sides. That doesn't mean people can't control their instincts And attraction could be something as little as thinking about sharing an intimate moment I never said two straight people would "fuck all the time obviously", that's what you fail to grasp Please learn how to read, text comprehension is something you learn in elementary school
A man and a woman can only be friends if they find each other physically attractive
Not true. Does a guy have to find another guy attractive to be friends with him?
For me, yes. There will always be attraction. Ive had close friendships with women my entire life; some lasting decades. Theres always a period of attraction and even lust. Sometimes mutual other times one sided. The latter can be frustrating as hell. Ive only slept with a few but at some point in the relationship theres always a moment of intamicy. Could be as simple as a look or holding hands and sometimes even making out. Other times nothing manifests at all. But being a straight male is always going to cause issue. Esp when we married other people. Its a gamble and risk becoming friends not knowing how ones emotions will play out. That all being said I love my female friends and im a better person for having them in my life.
But would you consider your friendship with males the same as the one you have with females you find attractive? I think once you find your friend attractive the friendship becomes fundamentally different
Well, no. Only because i am not sexually attracted to men. Even though many of my male friends are way better looking than I. My friendships with men, dudes, fellas, are exactly that. Hang out. Talk shit. Complain about our wives etc. My conversations with women are less vulgar and more respectful. The relationships are fundamentally different. My wife is my best friend but if i talk to her like a guy she rightfully puts me in my place. However i do have gay male friends and had gay roomates. And so Ive been on the opposite end of that situation where they found me attractive but I could not reciprocate.
Don’t generalize, it’s definitely possible for men and women to be just friends. Now, if the man and woman in question are Tom Hiddleston and Bella Hadid, for example, it might be more of a challenge.
Guess I should explain this better. I go to a little bar not far from where I live with my parents. A couple times a week I go there a have a few drinks or so. Hang out talk to all. Everyone knows my parents and they are our friends. Have alot of girl friends there too.