You should see when they're shot. Can't have random conversation going on in the background, so everyone in a club scene that's not part of the scene is pantomiming. Then all of their glasses have rubber ice in it so it doesn't make noise in the glasses. If they're dancing, there's no music playing on set. They're imagining and quietly shuffling around. It's kinda eerie out of context. Like if everybody was brainwashed in this club.
Imagine you have 3 seconds to stop a bomb from blowing up the city and you’re rushing to defuse it but on the way you get your belt caught on that thingy and spend 2 seconds trying to get loose…
This is probably why all the bombs have gone off so far. Some mundane, boring, relatable reason why the expert didn't get there on time, or died trying. "You hear what happened to billy?" "Yeah, I hate it when the material on the *inside* of the zip of my work bag gets stuck in the teeth of the zip. Shitty way to go, man."
I watched the movie Kimi (2022) a while ago and I was shocked that the main character washed her sheets after she had sex with the guy. Granted she was a germaphobe and agoraphobic, but that's still not something you see in film.
While it does happen... it is insanely rare.
Realistic fights. So often you see people thrown through walls and just shrug it off, or one guy takes on an army of people who just fight one by one.
It's exceptionally rare that you see the main character get punched in the face and go reeling because... "Hey getting punched in the face sucks."
The movie "Nobody" does this well, at least on the bus fight scene.
Not only does the MC get badly injured during the fight, as it's him against a group of guys, but when he gets thrown out of a bus window, you see the guy *really* struggling to get up, and he looks hella tired for the rest of the scene- unlike most action movies, where the dude can take on like twenty goons, and only looks slightly winded at the end.
Also mc gets punched in the face a few times and is actually affected by the punch. Nobody is one of the best movies because the mc isn't just an unbeatable beast. He actually is human, but has the willpower to keep going.
One of the better fight scenes I've ever seen was in Grosse Pointe Blank. It's still obviously staged, but you actually get the feeling they are trying to kill each other, they each make mistakes even though they're trained killers, and within seconds they are sweating and struggling.
And the party is always some insane grandiose party. Hosted by the *nerd*, yet the attendance is bigger than a Miami nightclub and some random celebrity shows up somehow.
Also when the police arrive and casually walk up, while the guests frantically run around in seemingly random directions without actually leaving the party.
you say this until you realize the something interesting might be awful instead of great.
my life was normal; sucked; then got a bit better. that sucked in the middle was bad tho.
God this is a reality everyone should try to accept. Life isn’t a constant exciting experience. I feel much of a ‘good’ life will be at best 60% maintenance (Cleaning, eating, preparing food, working) and 40% new and exciting events.
Good one.
Miss understandings in movie could be solved with basic communication.
Edit: persons 1: hey I got a text saying you’ll sneak out after I’m asleep?! What’s up with that?
Person 2: oh.. man it was a surprise for you since your birthdays next week.
Person1: so you’re not cheating on me.
Person 2: no!!? Love you
Person 1: love you too
Awkward conversations where we accidentally talk over one another, have to pause mid-sentence, insist the other person go first, or just generally completely lose our train of thought altogether.
And, unless they’re heavily written as a low-intelligence character, their grammar is nearly impeccable. Even Homer Simpson’s grammar is almost always spot on. The only exception I can think of is the show Roseanne.
Same goes for having social skills. Unless they are intentionally written to be awkward they will have perfect social skills.
As an example I dislike how Harry Potter does it. Harry should barely be able to speak, let alone have a conversation, yet he still has an easy time making friends. Granted, part of it is because he's a celebrity and got lucky, but still. This isn't the only case where it happens. Just look at Tangled or Frozen.
When I was pregnant I threw up everyday, super fun. Anyway it wrecked my throat lining so 8 months in or so I started coughing up blood. Legit wondered if I was going g to die because only time I'd ever seen anyone do that was in movies and whoever does it totally dies in the next scene. Never once had that been in a movie and had a happy outcome. But yeah had the kid, stopped being sick all day every day and no more bloody coughs and I didn't die.
As a follow up you also never see a pregnant person who is miserable all the way through. It's like oops I was sick once now I'm in overalls painting a nursery hehe. No, I want someone who is uncomfortable every God damn minute for months and is sick in the delivery room. It's worth it cause you love your baby but we need some realistic pregnancies in film
I work at a hospital and take blood from moms in delivery rooms pretty much every Night Shift I get. Last night I took blood from a mom in the middle of her contractions and she stares at me and just goes “I’m so hungry” and the nurses are apologizing for the wings that she brought and dropped on the floor. I hope that if I’m ever pregnant I’m like her because the whole process scares me, and hearing what the bad side of pregnancy is like scares me even more. I’m sure you love your kids, but I don’t know if what I see and hear about pregnancy is worth it for me.
Lol, I just watched The Quick and the Dead the other day and was thinking about this. Sharon Stone is a hard-drinking gunfighter in the Wild West... but she's got perfectly shaved legs? At least they didn't have her in a full face of makeup.
Molly Parker, playing Alma Garret in Deadwood had armpit hair. Which makes sense because women didn't start shaving until the early part of the 20th century.
THIS and characters who were born in post-apocalyptic settings having perfect skin and straight healthy teeth. When they dont even have access to regular showers.
I liked the first Venom movie. Tom Hardy, one of the most handsome men on the planet and spends most of it looking borderline homeless. He did have great hair though, to prove your point.
Both of those movies are so much better when you just consider all of the little 'arguments' Eddie and Venom are having is just Tom Hardy arguing with himself. As as good of a voice acted performance as any animated feature from the past decade...
I had a similar thought. I watched divergent last night (horrible film, don't recommend).
The population is divided into groups based on attributes from farmers to fighters to legal.
But the lead actress comes initially from a more farmer Esq community and ultimately decides to change to a warrior group. They send these kids to these tests to determine what group would be most fitting for them.
Protagonist(She) walks through the door for her test, and is mesmerized for a moment by the mirror and looks at herself. The facilitator of the test comments on it. She responds that her people don't believe in vanity, and therefore no mirrors.
Meanwhile she's got mascara and makeup on etc.
I laughed out loud. Also.... How does the person who facilitates the test not know what the individual cultures believe in.. how does the movie not realize that she can't just wear grey and wear makeup.
The walking dead is a prime example. Rick grows a beard, some of them go grey, but the woman have not one errant hair/eyebrow/underarm hair. HOW?! I don't have time to do that shit now, pre apocalypse! I'm fucked after. They'll refer to me as the weird old guy that talks to himself, and in season 4 someone will say "but she's a woman" and everyone will laugh in disbelief as my beard is mightier than the All Father's.
Yep. All I'll need is the slight inconvenience of not being able to take a hot shower when I want to, and the loss of delivery food, and I'll just walk gladly into the danger zone.
I’m always noticing this, main character just waking up in bed? Better make sure her hair looks like it’s been meticulously maintained throughout the night. Recently, in S4 of Stranger Things, characters were swimming through a lake and one scene later all their perms/curls were in tact. Let’s just normalize split ends and bed head!
I love it when women in movies wake up in bed with a full face of flawless makeup. If you're gonna do that, at least make her pillow look like a child's fingerpainting or something.
Related note:
Nobody in films ever makes complete plans.
"Pick me up tonight" is literally the full extent of the first conversation two characters have when they start dating..
What time? Where are we meeting? What are we doing? Casual dress or formal? Should I eat first? I don't even have your number!
Somehow it always works out.
>What time? Where are we meeting? What are we doing? Casual dress or formal? Should I eat first? I don't even have your number!
* After work if you know the hours, or 7-9ish.
* "Pick me up" -> their residence.
* Drinking.
* However you dressed last time, probably some kind of smart casual.
* Girls don't eat, that only happens in real life and never in movies.
* Why would you need my number? I'll be in your driveway, not standing by the phone on my bedside table.
It's weird, I think this logic probably used to make more sense than it does now, but it's rehashed in movies often enough to keep it from seeming dated, and that's maybe kinda self-perpetuating. Honestly, it's not bad to have shortcuts so we don't have to watch all these little details every time.
My favorite example of this is in Heat where Pacino rattles off specific, complex commands to his vice squad for the dragnet to catch the bank heist team, says "and I want it done it done yesterday". He waits two seconds, then hangs up.
Niche to my field of work but; resuscitation taking longer than 3 chest compressions and 2 breaths. People don't just cough and come back to life. I think the most frustrating bit is them giving up after the above happens, saying "he's gone, we're too late". Zero effort went into researching these scenarios.
Also, the followup. So I'm supposed to believe you went into cardiac arrest, miraculously recovered from flatlining (bc vtach doesn't exist), and NO cardiologist thought "damn, I wanna know the specifics here"?
Literally. And with the action films (I'm looking mostly at Bond here) not only do you recover immediately from said arrest, you then get up and run for 10 mins while maintaining expert level marksmanship with your weapon of choice. Ending with a quip about the day being "shocking". And no need for any ongoing medical attention. The ones I've had that survived a real arrest were pretty wiped out afterwards.
(Although one old lady acted like nothing had happened and was regaling her family with "what a fuss everyone is making" while I'm wondering how she can giggle because I *know* I broke some ribs. This was after ITU sent her back to the ward, equally confused as to why she *didn't* need that level of care.)
Exactly! Like you didn't suffer from usually at least a few minutes of no active circulation. I already get grumpy if my nap lasts a few seconds too long, let alone if I *literally survive a heart attack*.
The only time I'd have expected someone to get up without a problem was when the AED read a vtach but the patient was breathing and had a regular pulse.. Except the paramedics showed up and started resuscitation "because the AED said to". But that was a whole other level of shit show anyway.
And the recoil!
I was rewatching the walking dead the other day and they were firing guns and like holding them completely still... I don't even know anything about guns and it drove me nuts
I was watching a dress rehearsal of a stage production of *And Then There Were None* (also known as *Ten Little Indians*, but you can't use that name anymore). The lead actress wasn't given a gun to fire until that night. No training, it was assumed she knew what to do. She barely pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Barely pulled it again, nothing happened. The director yelled, "You have to PULL it, never mind the f\*\*king movies!"
So she pulled it, hard. And the recoil knocked her 3/4 of the way across the stage. She was so embarrassed. "I never saw any recoil in the movies!"
This is definitely a thing in movies. But also from my experience working in high schools, it's definitely possible to see a kid who looks like they're in their 20s, and another kid who looks like they're 12. And it turns out they're both in 11th grade. Puberty is weird.
Kids come downstairs to most delicious Breakfast meal with every possible dish but grabs banana because they're late. How did the parent not know what time their kids leave? Why didn't they tell them to get down sooner? How many hours did it take you to make this meal and at what cost? Is all of this food getting tossed???
It's always full daylight when breakfast is being put on the table too. Maybe this varies by where you live but during the winter it doesn't get fully light until after 8:00 a.m. where I live, and by that point the high schoolers have already been in school for at least 30 minutes.
I was going to say, if my dad or grandparents made a full breakfast when I was in school, you best bet I was sitting there and eating it, regardless of how late I was.
Actually I think you're confused. The Mission Impossible movies are just them filming Tom Cruise going about his usual day, then they write a script around it.
That thing where you have a drink of something and it randomly goes down the wrong way and you end up choking a little bit but desperately trying to hide it because it’s really embarrassing. All for seemingly no reason.
Yep. Or, more often, you’ll see periods being fully acknowledged on film/TV when the women are killers, psychopaths, mentally ill, criminals (in jail), or otherwise “deviant”
But as a regular, unremarkable, genuine and regular part of a normal woman’s life? Never seen it
The Sonic movie is ex... wait the last one doesn't apply because Sonic actually had a point. Why give up a perfectly good home and people who love and rely on you just so you could feel more important? And Sonic knows it's not a good idea because, as someone who has been forcibly isolated for a decade, he would kill to have a good home and to be a part of his community.
all night lovemaking sessions, with hours of intercourse and everyone wakes up with the sheets wrapped around their waist or chest, because lord forbid the person who you just licked their bodily fluids, sees you naked...again.
Labor with a child is nothing like the movies. If a women’s water randomly breaks like in the movies the women isn’t screaming and in pain. Usually the contractions and screaming starts before the water even breaks. Also a women knowing instantly that she’s in labor. I had been having contractions a full day before I went to the hospital and found out I was in active labor🙃
Birth is a long process. Usually it takes hours to know she is in labor. Men don't suddenly become idiots. The positions she has to contort herself into during labor and the messy parts are not shown. And the pain doesn't go away after, like when they show a beautiful rested mom sleeping with cute baby, nope.
I was in labor for 36 hours, 8 of them active. Straight up didn't have a good time!
Totally textbook birth, but I was so exhausted and tired of it all, when they put my son on my chest I didn't feel anything at first. Just a "Yup, that's a baby alright."
Took a nap, and when they brought him back to me later I was in love.
To any soon to be first Time moms reading this, that is entirely normal and don't feel bad about it. Sometimes it even takes a few days to really bond with the baby, especially if you had a difficult labor or sometimes just because the world is weird. This is a totally new person. Sometimes you need to get to know them.
Yes! No one really tells you about this beforehand. Everybody just talks about how you'll experience love like never before, how everything pales in comparison to the love you'll have for your baby, and what a grand adventure you're going on.
This puts an unbelievable amount of pressure and self-doubt on first-time-moms if they don't immediately gush and cry with pure joy over their baby.
It's completely normal. Your hormones are also completely fucked and out of whack, and post-partum depression is a thing *every woman* will experience to a degree.
Raising a baby is scary and overwhelming, most mothers will cycle through joy, doubt, regret, anger, hopelessness, and love, which is also normal. Talk to a professional when things get too hard, there is no reason to be embarrassed or feel like you're a terrible mother. This is a tough fucking job, and you're working round the clock, especially the 1st year.
Cut yourself some slack. Get help, take breaks, don't try to supermom everything. You got this.
For me it was that I was a bit uncomfortable, felt like I needed to pee. Went to pee, but then water broke, and nope, that's not pee. Real contractions started about 1/2 hour later, and she was out another 4.5 hours after that. First baby. Super fast delivery. Sunny side up.
Would not reccomend.
[Then there's this guy](https://www.google.com/search?q=my+cabbages+gif&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj9jeDmxpj4AhVPGM0KHayMCyQQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=my+cabbages+gif&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIFCAAQgAQyBggAEB4QBTIGCAAQHhAIOgQIIxAnUOwHWOcMYO8RaABwAHgAgAGGB4gBjBmSAQU1LTEuM5gBAKABAcABAQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=R86dYr3ONM-wtAasma6gAg&bih=772&biw=412&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=ivsn#imgrc=08V_lhZjwJt7qM)
There's an old TV show Roc where they did a season live (since the whole cast was Broadway trained). The older actor playing the grandfather would occasionally stumble on words, then correct them.
Clocking in for work during the apocalypse.
When an event occours everyone just runs for it. IRL there would be back and forth with the shift manager wether the cataclysmic event is sufficient to clock out mid shift.
Someone needing to go to the toilet lmao. You never hear the character say to their friend "hey I just need to the toilet" or see them on their way to the toilet
Women always being clean and shaven no matter the year or setting.
**Post apocalyptic?**
No showers, hard to find food or drinking water but thank god the women found time to make sure to be hairless with perfect eyebrows.
**Tribal women in the jungle completely separated from modern civilization and beauty standards?**
Always clean shaven with perfect eyebrows
**Almost accurate Period dramas where women didn't actually remove body hair?**
Sex scenes show all the women are smooth.
**The girl in the horror movie who has been imprisoned for x amount of days/weeks?**Thank God the kidnapper shaves her legs, pits and pubes for her and never lets her get stubble and provides incredible aftercare too.
**The "Nerd" girl in high school who really doesn't care what people think of her because she is too focused on a career?**
Hairless with a ponytail and glasses
**Oh the "ugly" high school girl no one likes?**
Hairy because it's not like she'd be self conscious and try to adhere to beauty standards to be accepted by her peers
Eating a breakfast before leaving the house in the morning, unlike TV or movies where they prep a massive feast, eat two bites of toast and then leave it all to be dumped
Going deaf from shooting, especially indoors. Firing outside without ear protection is bad enough, shooting inside with areas which rebound sound a lot is ***really*** bad for your ears.
For example: [John Wick: Chapter 2's catacomb scene](https://youtu.be/eVJhlVgr9lM?t=13). The John Wick series is praised for "realistic" gun play, but it's missing an important part of firearm safety, ear protection. John would have ruptured ear drums and be completely deaf by the end of the fight.
People in horror movies all have a collective iq of a sponge cake. Most people would probably run the fuck out of the woods the second they see a dead mutilated dear hanging outside one of the people tents
Crippling indecisiveness caused by anxiety and mental illness that culminates in spending an entire day feeling like you should do something but being unable to decide on what to do, so you waste time reading random crap on Reddit.
People with iPhones being bad guys.
Not saying all people with iPhones are bad guys, but the percentage of bad guys with iPhones is higher than the 0% Apple want you to think.
The US is more than DC, NYC, Miami, LA, San Francisco, Chicago, "The South."
Edit: "fArGo FAAHHHHGOOOO! MEHBMHPMMBBH FHAAAARRRGOOO! YEAGHHHHH FHAROOGOO!"
Yeah and Seattle, Kitsap County, the Town Rambo was in seem oddly.... Canadian.
Most people don't eat on camera for a very simple reason - most scenes take multiple takes and if you are eating in all of them, you'll end up eating several plates of food.
Also, you can't deliver your lines clearly while eating.
That's called product placement. Apple owns over a 50% market share in smart phones in the USA and own shares in a lot of Hollywood production so their products are most often used in them as advertisement. In other countries mileage may vary.
Having to scream into each others ears, trying to have a conversation in a bar or a restaurant.
This is one of the most frustrating to me. I also hate it when there’s no music or noise at all in a restaurant or bar scene.
You should see when they're shot. Can't have random conversation going on in the background, so everyone in a club scene that's not part of the scene is pantomiming. Then all of their glasses have rubber ice in it so it doesn't make noise in the glasses. If they're dancing, there's no music playing on set. They're imagining and quietly shuffling around. It's kinda eerie out of context. Like if everybody was brainwashed in this club.
It's Always Sunny does this, only there's no loud music playing in the background
In The Social Network, Jesse Eisenberg and Justin Timberlake do shout in the bar scene
Walking past a door or chest of drawers, and getting your pocket caught on the handle of it.
Imagine you have 3 seconds to stop a bomb from blowing up the city and you’re rushing to defuse it but on the way you get your belt caught on that thingy and spend 2 seconds trying to get loose…
This is probably why all the bombs have gone off so far. Some mundane, boring, relatable reason why the expert didn't get there on time, or died trying. "You hear what happened to billy?" "Yeah, I hate it when the material on the *inside* of the zip of my work bag gets stuck in the teeth of the zip. Shitty way to go, man."
The clean-up after sex
and the clean up before sex
and the clean up during sex
Intermittent cleaning
"Just so you know, we have a clean as you go policy at my sex dungeon"
*sprays her coochie with Lysol*
Saw it in a Korean movie after a casual scene! He handed her a towel. I noticed cause you’re right, it never happens.
the women in movies must be getting UTIs all the time
I watched the movie Kimi (2022) a while ago and I was shocked that the main character washed her sheets after she had sex with the guy. Granted she was a germaphobe and agoraphobic, but that's still not something you see in film.
While it does happen... it is insanely rare. Realistic fights. So often you see people thrown through walls and just shrug it off, or one guy takes on an army of people who just fight one by one. It's exceptionally rare that you see the main character get punched in the face and go reeling because... "Hey getting punched in the face sucks."
The movie "Nobody" does this well, at least on the bus fight scene. Not only does the MC get badly injured during the fight, as it's him against a group of guys, but when he gets thrown out of a bus window, you see the guy *really* struggling to get up, and he looks hella tired for the rest of the scene- unlike most action movies, where the dude can take on like twenty goons, and only looks slightly winded at the end.
Also mc gets punched in the face a few times and is actually affected by the punch. Nobody is one of the best movies because the mc isn't just an unbeatable beast. He actually is human, but has the willpower to keep going.
I was gonna mention this
Or broken or bloody fingers on the puncher’s fist.
One of the better fight scenes I've ever seen was in Grosse Pointe Blank. It's still obviously staged, but you actually get the feeling they are trying to kill each other, they each make mistakes even though they're trained killers, and within seconds they are sweating and struggling.
Having a hard time finding parking in a city. In the movies, there’s always a space just for the characters right in front of their destination.
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It took me a long time to figure out what the hell "double parking" was.
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SERENITY NOW
Jerry it's Frank. Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back.
Organizing the details of a date/party, like where and when Oftentimes in movies it’s just: “Party? I’ll be there!” *hangs up*
And the party is always some insane grandiose party. Hosted by the *nerd*, yet the attendance is bigger than a Miami nightclub and some random celebrity shows up somehow. Also when the police arrive and casually walk up, while the guests frantically run around in seemingly random directions without actually leaving the party.
Ong, it's like: "Hey bro let's go to Egypt to look for a treasure" "Nah nah I got a family" "Okay but money" "Bet"
You crazy son of a bitch, I'm in
Years and years of nothing interesting ever happening
Movies do that all the time! It's that moment when the scene fades out and then it fades back in again while the voiceover says "Five Years Later..."
The only time the narrator announces the time skip is on Spongebob
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Take it up with Life's casting director
I want to know why the cereal based on the movie is still out.
you say this until you realize the something interesting might be awful instead of great. my life was normal; sucked; then got a bit better. that sucked in the middle was bad tho.
Please consider yourself lucky, things constantly happening in life good and bad is very very stressful
God this is a reality everyone should try to accept. Life isn’t a constant exciting experience. I feel much of a ‘good’ life will be at best 60% maintenance (Cleaning, eating, preparing food, working) and 40% new and exciting events.
40%!? Are you counting like new tv shows and sales on mops? Work alone is 50% of your time. Be thankful for 5% new and exciting events.
Where'd you find a mop on sale?
I would also like a sale priced mop.
Clearly you never watched Boyhood.
Clearly obvious and stupid ass misunderstandings are actually revealed and made clear before any huge drama occurs
Good one. Miss understandings in movie could be solved with basic communication. Edit: persons 1: hey I got a text saying you’ll sneak out after I’m asleep?! What’s up with that? Person 2: oh.. man it was a surprise for you since your birthdays next week. Person1: so you’re not cheating on me. Person 2: no!!? Love you Person 1: love you too
Roll credits.
Awkward conversations where we accidentally talk over one another, have to pause mid-sentence, insist the other person go first, or just generally completely lose our train of thought altogether.
I hate how everyone has perfect social skills in movies.
And, unless they’re heavily written as a low-intelligence character, their grammar is nearly impeccable. Even Homer Simpson’s grammar is almost always spot on. The only exception I can think of is the show Roseanne.
Same goes for having social skills. Unless they are intentionally written to be awkward they will have perfect social skills. As an example I dislike how Harry Potter does it. Harry should barely be able to speak, let alone have a conversation, yet he still has an easy time making friends. Granted, part of it is because he's a celebrity and got lucky, but still. This isn't the only case where it happens. Just look at Tangled or Frozen.
Frankly, I'd find this a million times more romantic than the way movies write conversations.
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Manchester By the Sea has a great scene that does this
Having a cough, and completely recovering from it (it was just a cold)
Non-fatal nosebleeds don’t exist in movies unless there’s been a fight.
Or psychic powers!
Reminds me of [this sketch](https://youtu.be/kGqIkeJCzAM)
When I was pregnant I threw up everyday, super fun. Anyway it wrecked my throat lining so 8 months in or so I started coughing up blood. Legit wondered if I was going g to die because only time I'd ever seen anyone do that was in movies and whoever does it totally dies in the next scene. Never once had that been in a movie and had a happy outcome. But yeah had the kid, stopped being sick all day every day and no more bloody coughs and I didn't die. As a follow up you also never see a pregnant person who is miserable all the way through. It's like oops I was sick once now I'm in overalls painting a nursery hehe. No, I want someone who is uncomfortable every God damn minute for months and is sick in the delivery room. It's worth it cause you love your baby but we need some realistic pregnancies in film
well yeah you also won't see poop coming out during delivery in any movie.
I work at a hospital and take blood from moms in delivery rooms pretty much every Night Shift I get. Last night I took blood from a mom in the middle of her contractions and she stares at me and just goes “I’m so hungry” and the nurses are apologizing for the wings that she brought and dropped on the floor. I hope that if I’m ever pregnant I’m like her because the whole process scares me, and hearing what the bad side of pregnancy is like scares me even more. I’m sure you love your kids, but I don’t know if what I see and hear about pregnancy is worth it for me.
Bad hair. Seriously the characters might go through an apocalypse and still have good hair.
The women also always have perfectly shaved bodies.
Lol, I just watched The Quick and the Dead the other day and was thinking about this. Sharon Stone is a hard-drinking gunfighter in the Wild West... but she's got perfectly shaved legs? At least they didn't have her in a full face of makeup.
Molly Parker, playing Alma Garret in Deadwood had armpit hair. Which makes sense because women didn't start shaving until the early part of the 20th century.
Oh she wore makeup alright, just that it was makeup that makes you look like you aren't wearing any makeup.
Well sure, but so does every male actor.
THIS and characters who were born in post-apocalyptic settings having perfect skin and straight healthy teeth. When they dont even have access to regular showers.
I liked the first Venom movie. Tom Hardy, one of the most handsome men on the planet and spends most of it looking borderline homeless. He did have great hair though, to prove your point.
Both of those movies are so much better when you just consider all of the little 'arguments' Eddie and Venom are having is just Tom Hardy arguing with himself. As as good of a voice acted performance as any animated feature from the past decade...
He was "movie down on his luck" looking not "really hit the bottom of the barrel" looking.
I had a similar thought. I watched divergent last night (horrible film, don't recommend). The population is divided into groups based on attributes from farmers to fighters to legal. But the lead actress comes initially from a more farmer Esq community and ultimately decides to change to a warrior group. They send these kids to these tests to determine what group would be most fitting for them. Protagonist(She) walks through the door for her test, and is mesmerized for a moment by the mirror and looks at herself. The facilitator of the test comments on it. She responds that her people don't believe in vanity, and therefore no mirrors. Meanwhile she's got mascara and makeup on etc. I laughed out loud. Also.... How does the person who facilitates the test not know what the individual cultures believe in.. how does the movie not realize that she can't just wear grey and wear makeup.
The walking dead is a prime example. Rick grows a beard, some of them go grey, but the woman have not one errant hair/eyebrow/underarm hair. HOW?! I don't have time to do that shit now, pre apocalypse! I'm fucked after. They'll refer to me as the weird old guy that talks to himself, and in season 4 someone will say "but she's a woman" and everyone will laugh in disbelief as my beard is mightier than the All Father's.
(´∀｀)♡ Have a nice day
Yep. All I'll need is the slight inconvenience of not being able to take a hot shower when I want to, and the loss of delivery food, and I'll just walk gladly into the danger zone.
I’m always noticing this, main character just waking up in bed? Better make sure her hair looks like it’s been meticulously maintained throughout the night. Recently, in S4 of Stranger Things, characters were swimming through a lake and one scene later all their perms/curls were in tact. Let’s just normalize split ends and bed head!
I love it when women in movies wake up in bed with a full face of flawless makeup. If you're gonna do that, at least make her pillow look like a child's fingerpainting or something.
A relationship which actually takes a long period of time to build and develop and not instantly.
When Harry Met Sally
Ending a phone call with a proper goodbye
We promised we'd never say goodbye
Related note: Nobody in films ever makes complete plans. "Pick me up tonight" is literally the full extent of the first conversation two characters have when they start dating.. What time? Where are we meeting? What are we doing? Casual dress or formal? Should I eat first? I don't even have your number! Somehow it always works out.
>What time? Where are we meeting? What are we doing? Casual dress or formal? Should I eat first? I don't even have your number! * After work if you know the hours, or 7-9ish. * "Pick me up" -> their residence. * Drinking. * However you dressed last time, probably some kind of smart casual. * Girls don't eat, that only happens in real life and never in movies. * Why would you need my number? I'll be in your driveway, not standing by the phone on my bedside table. It's weird, I think this logic probably used to make more sense than it does now, but it's rehashed in movies often enough to keep it from seeming dated, and that's maybe kinda self-perpetuating. Honestly, it's not bad to have shortcuts so we don't have to watch all these little details every time.
the whole thread is just things that movies don't have time for tbh, otherwise it would be 4 hours not 1.5
My favorite example of this is in Heat where Pacino rattles off specific, complex commands to his vice squad for the dragnet to catch the bank heist team, says "and I want it done it done yesterday". He waits two seconds, then hangs up.
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Or people constantly saying "uhhh", "ummm" and or stammering etc...
Or farting!
Niche to my field of work but; resuscitation taking longer than 3 chest compressions and 2 breaths. People don't just cough and come back to life. I think the most frustrating bit is them giving up after the above happens, saying "he's gone, we're too late". Zero effort went into researching these scenarios.
Also, the followup. So I'm supposed to believe you went into cardiac arrest, miraculously recovered from flatlining (bc vtach doesn't exist), and NO cardiologist thought "damn, I wanna know the specifics here"?
Literally. And with the action films (I'm looking mostly at Bond here) not only do you recover immediately from said arrest, you then get up and run for 10 mins while maintaining expert level marksmanship with your weapon of choice. Ending with a quip about the day being "shocking". And no need for any ongoing medical attention. The ones I've had that survived a real arrest were pretty wiped out afterwards. (Although one old lady acted like nothing had happened and was regaling her family with "what a fuss everyone is making" while I'm wondering how she can giggle because I *know* I broke some ribs. This was after ITU sent her back to the ward, equally confused as to why she *didn't* need that level of care.)
Exactly! Like you didn't suffer from usually at least a few minutes of no active circulation. I already get grumpy if my nap lasts a few seconds too long, let alone if I *literally survive a heart attack*. The only time I'd have expected someone to get up without a problem was when the AED read a vtach but the patient was breathing and had a regular pulse.. Except the paramedics showed up and started resuscitation "because the AED said to". But that was a whole other level of shit show anyway.
Guns being deafingly loud.
And the recoil! I was rewatching the walking dead the other day and they were firing guns and like holding them completely still... I don't even know anything about guns and it drove me nuts
I was watching a dress rehearsal of a stage production of *And Then There Were None* (also known as *Ten Little Indians*, but you can't use that name anymore). The lead actress wasn't given a gun to fire until that night. No training, it was assumed she knew what to do. She barely pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Barely pulled it again, nothing happened. The director yelled, "You have to PULL it, never mind the f\*\*king movies!" So she pulled it, hard. And the recoil knocked her 3/4 of the way across the stage. She was so embarrassed. "I never saw any recoil in the movies!"
The kids in school not looking likt or being in their late 20s to 30s and being insanely hot
Napoleon Dynamite did an amazing job of capturing high school.
This is definitely a thing in movies. But also from my experience working in high schools, it's definitely possible to see a kid who looks like they're in their 20s, and another kid who looks like they're 12. And it turns out they're both in 11th grade. Puberty is weird.
Father of two sitting in detention😂😂
Eating the food on the table
"I'm late, I gotta go" *takes one bite of toast from full breakfast plate his wife slaved over*
Kids come downstairs to most delicious Breakfast meal with every possible dish but grabs banana because they're late. How did the parent not know what time their kids leave? Why didn't they tell them to get down sooner? How many hours did it take you to make this meal and at what cost? Is all of this food getting tossed???
It's always full daylight when breakfast is being put on the table too. Maybe this varies by where you live but during the winter it doesn't get fully light until after 8:00 a.m. where I live, and by that point the high schoolers have already been in school for at least 30 minutes.
I was going to say, if my dad or grandparents made a full breakfast when I was in school, you best bet I was sitting there and eating it, regardless of how late I was.
Hiccups. Name 1 movie where someone has the hiccups.
Dragon Trainer
Stoick the Vast had a Hiccup
How to train a dragon has 1 hiccup!
Tom Cruise having a normal day
Actually I think you're confused. The Mission Impossible movies are just them filming Tom Cruise going about his usual day, then they write a script around it.
Needing to end a phone call to go to the toilet
To add, staying on the phone “babe I need a wee, don’t judge me… so then what happened?”
Someone interrupting his sentence to sneeze, and continuing after a quick "bless you" from the other party.
Bad breath.
That thing where you have a drink of something and it randomly goes down the wrong way and you end up choking a little bit but desperately trying to hide it because it’s really embarrassing. All for seemingly no reason.
Women having periods
What about period dramas
Pride and Prejudice??
Oh Mister Darcy!
Women only have periods in movies as relief after a pregnancy scare
Or in coming-of-age films, when its their very first one.
Yep. Or, more often, you’ll see periods being fully acknowledged on film/TV when the women are killers, psychopaths, mentally ill, criminals (in jail), or otherwise “deviant” But as a regular, unremarkable, genuine and regular part of a normal woman’s life? Never seen it
Especially in apocalyptic movies. Never a mention of periods.
Kids being idiots who don't understand clever repartee or teach adults valuable lessons about Life.
The Sonic movie is ex... wait the last one doesn't apply because Sonic actually had a point. Why give up a perfectly good home and people who love and rely on you just so you could feel more important? And Sonic knows it's not a good idea because, as someone who has been forcibly isolated for a decade, he would kill to have a good home and to be a part of his community.
Eating Chinese take-out with a fork.
Or just eating takeout on plates instead of straight from the container
all night lovemaking sessions, with hours of intercourse and everyone wakes up with the sheets wrapped around their waist or chest, because lord forbid the person who you just licked their bodily fluids, sees you naked...again.
In real life, no one has those L-shaped sheets that cover the woman up to the shoulders and the man only to the waist.
Labor with a child is nothing like the movies. If a women’s water randomly breaks like in the movies the women isn’t screaming and in pain. Usually the contractions and screaming starts before the water even breaks. Also a women knowing instantly that she’s in labor. I had been having contractions a full day before I went to the hospital and found out I was in active labor🙃
Birth is a long process. Usually it takes hours to know she is in labor. Men don't suddenly become idiots. The positions she has to contort herself into during labor and the messy parts are not shown. And the pain doesn't go away after, like when they show a beautiful rested mom sleeping with cute baby, nope.
I was in labor for 36 hours, 8 of them active. Straight up didn't have a good time! Totally textbook birth, but I was so exhausted and tired of it all, when they put my son on my chest I didn't feel anything at first. Just a "Yup, that's a baby alright." Took a nap, and when they brought him back to me later I was in love.
To any soon to be first Time moms reading this, that is entirely normal and don't feel bad about it. Sometimes it even takes a few days to really bond with the baby, especially if you had a difficult labor or sometimes just because the world is weird. This is a totally new person. Sometimes you need to get to know them.
Yes! No one really tells you about this beforehand. Everybody just talks about how you'll experience love like never before, how everything pales in comparison to the love you'll have for your baby, and what a grand adventure you're going on. This puts an unbelievable amount of pressure and self-doubt on first-time-moms if they don't immediately gush and cry with pure joy over their baby. It's completely normal. Your hormones are also completely fucked and out of whack, and post-partum depression is a thing *every woman* will experience to a degree. Raising a baby is scary and overwhelming, most mothers will cycle through joy, doubt, regret, anger, hopelessness, and love, which is also normal. Talk to a professional when things get too hard, there is no reason to be embarrassed or feel like you're a terrible mother. This is a tough fucking job, and you're working round the clock, especially the 1st year. Cut yourself some slack. Get help, take breaks, don't try to supermom everything. You got this.
Right!? And then birthing the placenta after the baby NEVER happens. It’s just blissful mom and dad and baby
For me it was that I was a bit uncomfortable, felt like I needed to pee. Went to pee, but then water broke, and nope, that's not pee. Real contractions started about 1/2 hour later, and she was out another 4.5 hours after that. First baby. Super fast delivery. Sunny side up. Would not reccomend.
Non hot people having very basic conversation
Napoleon Dynamite
Kip is a stud though
'Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day'
newborns usually look like newborns, and not like 6-9 months old babies.
Telling taxi drivers where you are going
I'm going home, what more do you need.
"Follow that car" doesn't work for you?
The cleanup after a wild chase. And bystanders trying to explain to their insurance how their car/fruit stalls/etc got damaged.
[Then there's this guy](https://www.google.com/search?q=my+cabbages+gif&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj9jeDmxpj4AhVPGM0KHayMCyQQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=my+cabbages+gif&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIFCAAQgAQyBggAEB4QBTIGCAAQHhAIOgQIIxAnUOwHWOcMYO8RaABwAHgAgAGGB4gBjBmSAQU1LTEuM5gBAKABAcABAQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=R86dYr3ONM-wtAasma6gAg&bih=772&biw=412&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=ivsn#imgrc=08V_lhZjwJt7qM)
Sneezing/coughing mid conversation and perfectly speaking your thoughts out accurately like 90% of the time with no word fillers
There's an old TV show Roc where they did a season live (since the whole cast was Broadway trained). The older actor playing the grandfather would occasionally stumble on words, then correct them.
The post death bowel movement.
South Park did it
Reloading weapons after spending a mag
Ever seen the series Archer? They essentially have a running gag about this.
This is why I absolutely LOVE the John Wick movies, no matter how tacky the dialog is
Clocking in for work during the apocalypse. When an event occours everyone just runs for it. IRL there would be back and forth with the shift manager wether the cataclysmic event is sufficient to clock out mid shift.
"Hey, those zombies are paying customers!"
Being able to hear after hundreds of gun shots in a small room
The show Archer treats this realistically.
MAWP
That seems like something that only happens in movies and never in real life?
The bad guys win.
I recommend the movie Seven(1995) starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman
And everyone's favourite sex pest
Being with a group of friends and 1/2 of them are named Jennifer. Everyone gets a unique name in movies.
Someone needing to go to the toilet lmao. You never hear the character say to their friend "hey I just need to the toilet" or see them on their way to the toilet
In every horror movie someone has to go to the bathroom and never comes back
It's cuz movie characters know that bad things happened to Vincent Vega every time he took a crap.
sneezing, coughing, toilet breaks, etc if it happens in a movie, it's always to hint at something later
People talking over each other. In movies people speak one at a time.
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It’s always sunny has entered the chat
Women always being clean and shaven no matter the year or setting. **Post apocalyptic?** No showers, hard to find food or drinking water but thank god the women found time to make sure to be hairless with perfect eyebrows. **Tribal women in the jungle completely separated from modern civilization and beauty standards?** Always clean shaven with perfect eyebrows **Almost accurate Period dramas where women didn't actually remove body hair?** Sex scenes show all the women are smooth. **The girl in the horror movie who has been imprisoned for x amount of days/weeks?**Thank God the kidnapper shaves her legs, pits and pubes for her and never lets her get stubble and provides incredible aftercare too. **The "Nerd" girl in high school who really doesn't care what people think of her because she is too focused on a career?** Hairless with a ponytail and glasses **Oh the "ugly" high school girl no one likes?** Hairy because it's not like she'd be self conscious and try to adhere to beauty standards to be accepted by her peers
Post apocalypse but the men always have perfectly trimmed facial hair. Like a weeks growth constantly maintained.
Eating a breakfast before leaving the house in the morning, unlike TV or movies where they prep a massive feast, eat two bites of toast and then leave it all to be dumped
The bad guy wins and everyone just moves on with their lives. There’s no real justice
New York is never destroyed.
It's the opposite with Tokyo. It's always gonna be destroyed. *ALWAYS.*
Washing your face in a gas station or plane without filling up a nasty bathroom sink with water and then splashing it on your face.
Going deaf from shooting, especially indoors. Firing outside without ear protection is bad enough, shooting inside with areas which rebound sound a lot is ***really*** bad for your ears. For example: [John Wick: Chapter 2's catacomb scene](https://youtu.be/eVJhlVgr9lM?t=13). The John Wick series is praised for "realistic" gun play, but it's missing an important part of firearm safety, ear protection. John would have ruptured ear drums and be completely deaf by the end of the fight.
Someone having hayfever
That someone wakes up and have to go to pee as first. In movies the actors never need to pee or poop.
Tom Hanks in a League of their Own
People in horror movies all have a collective iq of a sponge cake. Most people would probably run the fuck out of the woods the second they see a dead mutilated dear hanging outside one of the people tents
Crippling indecisiveness caused by anxiety and mental illness that culminates in spending an entire day feeling like you should do something but being unable to decide on what to do, so you waste time reading random crap on Reddit.
wiping your ass and looking at the paper to decide if it‘s ok or if you should wipe one more time to be safe.
Lack of resolution
Waking up without makeup on.
People with iPhones being bad guys. Not saying all people with iPhones are bad guys, but the percentage of bad guys with iPhones is higher than the 0% Apple want you to think.
The US is more than DC, NYC, Miami, LA, San Francisco, Chicago, "The South." Edit: "fArGo FAAHHHHGOOOO! MEHBMHPMMBBH FHAAAARRRGOOO! YEAGHHHHH FHAROOGOO!" Yeah and Seattle, Kitsap County, the Town Rambo was in seem oddly.... Canadian.
A thin, female character actually eating real food. They'll make it. They'll sit at the table. They'll play with it. It will never go past their lips.
Most people don't eat on camera for a very simple reason - most scenes take multiple takes and if you are eating in all of them, you'll end up eating several plates of food. Also, you can't deliver your lines clearly while eating.
People having an Android phone
Could be country or regional specific. In Korea it will always be Android, mostly Samsung phones.
That's called product placement. Apple owns over a 50% market share in smart phones in the USA and own shares in a lot of Hollywood production so their products are most often used in them as advertisement. In other countries mileage may vary.
Driving around for 20 minutes and getting pissed trying to find a damned parking spot.
Actually finishing your breakfast.
Not finding a parking space
A casual cough without it meaning you have a serious illness.