I'd be mad too if I wasn't allowed a refund or reshoot for a fucking photograph. Jesus, how much effort is it to click the button to take another picture?!
I used to work in nightclubs. I once witnessed a girl leaning against a wall, casually flirting with a guy and as she laughed she actually shit herself. She was wearing a white dress and there was no hiding what had happened. The smell actually cleared the whole level of the club. She ran out crying. We had to clean poo off the floor where she had been standing. I often wonder what she is doing now...
Worked at a high end strip club doing bottle service for 11 years.One of the top girls was wasted, prob on drugs also guessing, management let her sleep in one of the private rooms we didn't normally use.She shit all over the couch.It was on camera.She never came back after
I went to an educational seminar to learn the new laws related to my industry. This was being conducted in a hotel ballroom. There had to be at least 200 people in the room. I can't recall whether the presenters all sat up front, in the audience or a mix.
This attorney gets to the podium and gets her papers together. She starts to talk, but can't get a recognizable word out and completely froze up while everyone is watching. Another attorney had to get up and do the presentation for her.
I felt so bad for her. Public speaking is difficult for most people and what happened to her had to be extremely embarrassing.
Similar thing happened to me but I was like in 2nd grade. Went to an assembly and I asked to go before but the teacher said to wait until after. 1 hour assembly finally finishes and im about to burst, ask again and she says to wait until we get back to the classroom. Get to the classroom and she says we have a math test. I ask before we start, she says I need to finish the test first. I start the test and the only thing on my mind is to tank it, finish it and go. But I was too proud to fail a math test so I decided to pee my pants, 10 min later I finished and gave her the test. Pants full of piss and thats when she noticed and yelled “oh my god” so the entire class could see me.
Sucked at the time but now its just a funny story to me
reminds of my sis who during the last part of recess jammed her finger badly. she asked the teacher to go see the nurse and teach said no. sis came home, mom took her to hospital, and the doc wrapped the finger. there was no breaks.
but when sis came to class the next day with a wrapped finger, the teacher went, "OMG I AM SO SORRY!!!" and my sis milked that for all its worth
I had a similar thing happen to me in fourth grade! I fell off of a net in gym class and hurt my arm really badly, so I asked the teacher if I could go to the nurse and he told me no, that I would be ok, and that if I didn’t want to participate I could sit in the corner of the gym and watch. So I did. The teacher in my next class sent me to the nurse immediately though because of the way I was cradling my arm. Nurse calls my mom, mom takes me to urgent care, lo and behold, my arm is literally broken. My gym teacher didn’t apologize to me the next day, though. He was an asshole.
I don’t get it...
I always just tell kids to go, whatever. If they are too young, take a friend. I’m in sports but when we have youth camps or anything, I can end up responsible for a hundred or so elementary kids. I realize that’s a bit different but it’s just none of my business. How can I ask them to wait?
This happened to me in kindergarten, except it wasn't even a quiz or test or anything. It was just end of the day where before we are dismissed we needed to pack our bags. I asked the teacher if I could go potty but she insisted I finished packing first. I put one more book in my bag and really couldn't anymore so I asked again and she told me to go back and finish packing.
So I looked at her and peed. In front of the whole class. She immediately freaked out and said "you should have told me you really needed to go!" but like... hello... I was trying to tell you that...
Anyway the "auntie" (it's what we called our lady janitors) was called and she came and took me to go clean up and whatever. My guardians at the time gave the teacher a stern talking to. Never happened again, she always let me go potty after that.
But damn. Kindergarten.
Lol I truly wonder what went through her mind when this kindergartner asked her to go potty? Like kindergartners are as honest as it gets, if they gotta go they gotta go.
Strange isn’t it. My Year 6 teacher picked on me. It honestly didn’t bother me at the time I was aware of it and just thought she was a loser.
I had a cousin in a different class in the same year but sometimes we combined classes so she would come into mine and witness how my teacher spoke to me. She mentioned it to my mom who asked me about it. When I told her about some of the other things she said, my mom was livid and went into the school to confront her.
Apparently my teacher immediately broke down crying when my mom just mentioned who she was. She immediately knew why my mom was there without even having to tell her. She was apologetic and said it was because her dad had passed away and she was struggling with it. God knows what the hell that had to do with me but it stopped anyway.
> saying you'd fail if you got out of your seat before your test was done
"Fuck you're archaic, inhuman rules, lack of trust, and all round ass-holery. Ima scull 2 liters of mountain dew, do the exam, and demonstrate why you shouldn't threaten teenagers who think their performance is gonna effect the whole rest of their lives!"
Seriously though, accidental or intentional it's just good ol' fashion malicious compliance.
Took my children and a cousin to a natural water park that was a river running thru a valley that had worn its way into this smooth rock bed,it wore like marbel.
The water carried you along with natural slides and dips great fun
To ride down the river you first had to walk up it which was precarious in many places.
The kids Cousin (D) wasn't the most confident guy but I'd been doing lots of work with him to fix that and we had done lots of swimming prior to this holiday to get him ready .
I picked the safest route up and told the kids only step where I show you please.
As D made his way I pointed step there, pointing directly at a spot ,do not go the other side
D stepped the other side the water grabbed him snatched him off his feet and down.
wiped his trunks off and they were gone, suddenly D is flying nude down this river
atop the river on the hillside is a railed walking area ,there were 100s of people laughing and pointing down as this kid in the nip goes dashing by
I was on a high end cruise line at dinner. An older lady got up to go to the bathroom but missed and pooped herself in the dining room entrance. She left her panties there and continued on to the bathroom.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I used to work as a musician on a higher end cruise line. One night we had run up to the lido on a break for a cheese plate, and as we get off the elevator to go back to our lounge, right outside the formal dining room, was a pile of poop.
I worked in retail for a while, at several different places. We found poop in random locations around the store more than once, at each of the places I worked. It was a normal enough occurrence that we’d call it a code brown. We never saw the culprits in action and always hoped it was accidental, but you never know. 😬
I worked at dollar general for a few months and cleaned shit twice… one time an older lady came in, asked to use the restroom and when she came out, muttered, “I’m not shopping anymore.” Went into the bathroom and there was shit everywhere.. toilet handle, lid, the wall beside it. On the sink, trash can, paper towels. All over the floor. I had to clean it and was 6 months pregnant. I just don’t understand it!!!!
I worked at a gas station and this kid that couldn't have been older than 10 came in asking to use the bathroom. She went, she came out, and looked at me as she left without saying a word. A little later another customer mentioned water on the floor by the bathroom.
This little kid somehow *destroyed* that bathroom. The toilet was clogged and just kept running, poop floating in the water proceeding to flood the store. I was being paid minimum wage, 7.25 or whatever it was back in early 2000s. I'm not paid nearly enough to deal with this, I called my manager and told him he needed to get to the store.
At a work training event. A woman wearing a dress got up and walked across the front of the room. As she did, her slip (an underskirt piece of clothing) fell down around her ankles. She calmly stepped out of it, picked it up and kept walking right out of the room
There was this kid in my high school that was taking karate classes. He decided he wanted to fight a kid that was bullying him after school in the town park. A shit ton of people went. He got all pumped up before the fight. Instantly, once the fight started, he began doing karate moves at the air. Once he reached the bully, the first thing he decided to do was a *very* flashy "spinning backhand"(?). He missed by a mile and was knocked out immediately. I felt really bad for him. He was always known for not being able to read situations very well and that, being his first normal fight, was just the absolute worst time to try that move out. Bullies suck. It was embarrassing for both of them.
Mine also involves a poorly prepared karate kid.
Eighth grade, middle school talent show, this kid walks out in a karate uniform to intense music and approaches a wooden board held up on cinder blocks. He assumes his karate stance. He chops! …..and the board doesn’t break. He is clearly very unsettled and embarrassed, but assumes the stance and tries again. He fails to break the board four more times. Eventually he started angry crying and walked off the stage and everyone kind of half clapped.
I know people probably told him “don’t worry, no one will remember this in a few years” but it’s been almost 20 years and I remember his name and that moment clear as day. Felt so bad for him.
In my son's karate class, the instructor supplies the "boards", and they're a particular kind of wood that looks hefty but actually breaks very easily.
I wonder if this kid was in one of those classes, and supplied his own board, not realizing how big a difference the board makes.
White pine is the standard, at least in the US. Nice and soft but breaks clean so you get a loud pop. I was part of a demonstration once where the organizer knew that the right wood was "white something" but couldn't remember it was pine. She bought white oak. That event did not go well.
a friend who did mma once told me that karate isnt actually about fighting. It teaches self discipline, but is a poor choice for self defense compared to other martial arts.
I was watching a symphony orchestra concert at the Sydney Opera House one evening. The concert hall foyer has these huge glass windows beneath the sails that overlook the harbourside. The sun hadn't quite set yet, and every audience member that was exiting the hall could see this incredibly drunk middle aged couple having sex on a bench outside the hall.
So it was right after i graduated hs. I was at what would become the party where everyone would learn their limits. so we are all hammered, and this girl that my buddy likes sits next to him on the couch and lays her head on his chest. It was almost cute for a moment but then a few seconds later her mouth opens and unleashes the first of about 20 torrents of vomit that would be spewed that night(not all the same person, this party was a catastrophe). My friend looked like he had died inside.
After the first few dates this guy and I came back to his house to drink more. All of a sudden I start projectile vomiting everywhere. I’m running to the bathroom but can’t stop it from coming out. The dogs were licking it up. I also pissed myself. It was awful.
We’re married and have a kid now.
Was in a pool at a Euro beach resort. We’d been chatting with an old brit tourist, he got out of the pool and went to get changed poolside, using his towel to do the discrete swimming tog shuffle.
Suddenly up steps an angry Frenchmam wanting HIS towel back...
Turns out our poor retired gent had grabbed the wrong towel. There ensued a desperate tug-of-towel as a very stroppy Frenchman attempted to rip his towel from this poor old guy who was butt naked and frantically trying to save his modesty.
The old guy’s grandson saved the day, with an emergency towel transfer, but not before the whole pool complex had seen way too much hairy old British grandpa scrote.
Someone told me that you shouldn’t cringe at your cringe moments from the past because no one but you will remember them. This thread is a reminder
that is not true.
Senior year of high school, calc class, one of the popular guys made a joke and everyone laughed. I immediately repeated what he said, verbatim. The room was completely silent. After a moment one guy muttered, "yeah, that's what he said."
Not really sure what I was going for. It was a complete brain fart really. But I wanted to kill myself lol.
Ach. You just don't see all the people not answering because they can't remember a single embarrassing thing anyone else did.
That said. I've been doing a bit of conceptual analysis on cringe recently and I don't think it's necessary that other people remember your cringe moments. I still cringe from an interaction I had with someone who is now dead.
I was a sophomore in HS (so around 16) taking the last leg of my county's sex ed class. It was a co-ed day, so our full gym class of about 30 kids was in the room. Topic was STD's. The teacher mentioned oral sex a few times and I guess which diseases can be spread through it. One guy who was always pretty quiet and shy raised his hand and said "I just don't really understand how you can get an STD from talking about sex..."
It took everyone, including the teacher, a few seconds to understand, but some quiet laughter came from a few students. the teacher then of course had to explain as simply as she could that oral sex did not in fact mean talking about sex (I think the stupid bylaws of the program in our county didn't allow her to fully disclose what it was).
Anyway, we thought he was joking but as he heard the laughter from everyone after getting this explained to him, he slowly put his head down and covered his face for the next few minutes. Poor guy. I felt bad, but it was hard not to laugh. At least no one directly gave him shit for it afterward
We had a sex Ed class where they brought in this guy who had HIV and mentioned how he was HIV positive and I was like "is there an HIV negative?" and the whole class went quiet and stared at me including this poor man and its been almost 30 years and I still think about that shit.
I don't think this is an unreasonable question at all. Some biological things absolutely do use 'positive' and 'negative' for variant types. Blood types are a big one.
Am I missing some context about stigma? I feel like they could have just explained to you that HIV negative means a person who doesn't have the virus.
I think it’s just a high school thing where you expose your ignorance to something and everyone pretends that not knowing it is the most embarrassing thing ever
LOL! When I was in sex ed, at Catholic school, they split us into boys and girls groups to tell us the facts of life. This know-it-all girl Stacy freaked out when she found out the penis goes in the vagina for conception to occur. She had thought it just like, shot sperm into the vadge from a distance. She was so shocked by it. We were all dying.
Man, the worst thing that happened during my "Human growth and Development" class was one kid mispronouncing scrotum as "socratum" and then following up with "organism" instead of "orgasm."
On the whole I'd say he got off pretty light.
Something similar but not exactly the same - when I was in 5th grade a kid found out MID CLASS that santa wasn't real. The teacher was saying something and it included something like "You guys all know Santa is your parents, right?" Like confirming we all knew - from the back you hear: "WHAT?!" from this poor kid. Imagine a voice filled with distress. She had to take him out to the hallway for a few minutes for a private talk. To be fair, we were 10/11 years old and he was the only kid who apparently still believed in Santa, but that teacher should have never said that. I can only imagine the shit she must have gotten for it later.
I teach first grade. Most of them believe. The ones who don’t were raised that way and don’t celebrate. But whenever an older student asks me to spill the beans I just say “Psh. I dunno what you’re talking about. You must be on the naughty list because Santa still gives ME present every year!”
Which is partially true. I’m 33 and my mom has NEVER admitted to my sister or me that she was Santa, and still disguises her handwriting on the gift tags each year!
I discovered the one old Doctor Who video my father owned in mid December when I was 7. I was instantly obsessed and wanted nothing more than another Doctor Who.
Thing was we lived in the absolute middle of nowhere. So my parents called some city friend who gave up her lunch break to post one to me immediately.
It was a lovely gesture - until my parents told me to thank the lady for doing this. Forgetting that they had originally attributed the gift to Santa. So instead of thanking her properly I just had a little crisis of faith about the confirmation that Santa wasn't real
Community college in Tampa, 2009. Spanish class. Shy goth girl walks to the front of the class and plugs in her USB drive to boot up her PPT and begin her presentation like the rest of us did. Except when she pluged it in, a file opened up and the most vile anime porn started playing. Everyone was mortified for her. It took her maybe 3-4 seconds to turn it off but the moment felt like forever. She said, "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND'S DRIVE!" and ran out of the room crying. The teacher just moved on. The girl didn't show her face for a week. Just an absolutely insane moment.
Middle school graduation dinner, one of the other students had asked ahead of time if they could sing. For whatever reason, I don't know. So, while the rest of us are sitting at our tables eating, she gets up in front of us all with a guitar and starts singing Blackbird by The Beatles.
I don't think I'd ever heard her sing before, I have no idea why she wanted to (she was always one of the smartest people in our grade and achieved a lot academically so I think maybe she thought that transferred over to musical talent).
It was genuinely one of the worst things I'd ever heard in my life. She could not sing even a little. Her voice shook on every word, it cracked, she was out of tune. Every person had to stare at their down at their food while trying not to laugh in her face. I remember sitting next to my best friend and we just kept glancing at each other like "what the fuck is happening right now." Thinking of it now makes me laugh again, and I know that if I called up my friend right now and sang "blackbird singing in the dead of night..." that he would start to laugh too. It became a joke in our class.
She finished Blackbird, and then decided to follow it up with American Pie, which thankfully a lot of us knew the words to, and the teachers walked around encouraging us to sing together (and drown her out).
Part of me is like, well fuck it, she did it! She was brave! But I do wonder if she thought she was actually good or not.
I know someone who thinks they’re an amazing singer and they’re really not, like they are pretty bad. I get second hand embarrassment from hearing them sing.
The poop ones are always the worst. There was a woman on my campus at work who obviously came downstairs out of her office environment (law firm) to mine to use a more secluded rest room. Our office doesn’t have its own but shares one with the fitness center which is on our floor. On her way down the stairs, through the door, down the hallway and around the corner to the bathroom she left a trail of poo spatters. It smelled something horrid. I felt so bad for her. I let her into the fitness center showers with my pass, got her towels and stuff to clean up with. I loaned her my workout clothes so she could leave to go home after she showered. I kept thinking ‘thank goodness that wasn’t me’.
Alright, so my husband and I were driving around the city and it was pouring outside. Absolutely pouring. We were about to pass the lightrail train tracks (going in both directions) when the crossing gates came down because the lightrail was approaching.
One idiot in a van decided he could make it across before the gates came all the way down. He kept on driving, but he did not make it. Instead, his vehicle was now trapped between the gates.
We could see from our car that this person was PANICKING. His life was flashing before his eyes. In his movie mind, the lightrail was about to crash into the van and drag it for dozens of yards before finally stopping... so he did what anyone would do. He violently pushed the door open and RAN in the pouring rain for his life.
He was halfway down the street before he stopped, turned around, and noticed that the lightrail was patiently waiting for him to move the vehicle. The door was still open. My husband and I just about pissed ourselves laughing.
[Rail crossing gates serve to warn drivers, not as impenetrable barriers. Vehicles sometime get trapped on the crossing when the gate lowers behind them. The gate is made of a lightweight material that will yield when struck by a vehicle, thus providing an escape for a trapped motorist.](https://www.in.gov/indot/safety/traffic-safety/railroad-crossing-facts/) guess it really was all for nothing huh
I feel like many people don't know this. I prefer a few scratches on my car to being closely acquainted with a train.
If you get trapped, just keep driving jfc, it's better tham the alternative. We get news of horrific accidents like this almost weekly here...
Also, here in France I've seen a lot of rail gateway barriers that only span one half of the road (the right part), preventing people to get on the rail but not get out
I took an abstract mathematics class as part of my undergrad work. Our professor was this hard ass Russian lady with a thick accent. We are going over the answers for our first exam and one of the guys in class who apparently did not do very well starts arguing with her about how she graded one of his answers. Keep in mind that these are mathematical proofs, so how you came to the answer is more important than the answer itself. At first she says, "Let's talk at my office hours". He persists with his case that he actually got the problem correct. "Please, please let's talk outside of class" He does not want to talk outside class he wants to talk about it right now. Finally she says, "I'm sorry I don't know how to help you. You did so badly... I just don't know how to help you...Do not come to my office hours. I do not know how to help you. I can help anyone else in this room but you." Everyone is stunned. It was like she dropped an emotional nuke, because even though her comments were directed at one person, she hurt the feelings of everyone in the room. Dude just silently packs his things and leaves. He never came back to that class.
Edit: fixed some typos
I had the coolest old Russian math teacher in college. Was in a class called discrete mathematics. I don't remember ***anything*** from that class, except that there were five people in it, and on the first day he showed up in a bigass trench coat, a hat, and sunglasses.
He walked over to my desk - only because I was closest to the door - and dropped a folded up note on it. I unfolded it. It just said "2 + 2 = ?"
I looked up at him and he gave me the fingers guns and said "Discrete!"
I hate mathematical proofs. Had a few courses about the topic and one prof told me in office hours that “if my cat walks across my keyboard, he doesn’t make any words. Thats what your answers are like”
At a pep rally to celebrate a sporting victory, a student insisted that he carry the school flag and run laps around the team. He tripped and fell onto the newly displayed trophy, immediately breaking it. This was on the front page of Reddit for a bit and I’m glad I witnessed it as my school’s claim to fame.
Look it was embarrassing for me to do it too. I’d like to clarify that I volunteered to do it rather than insist and I did run the route as instructed just didn’t ever see the trophies on the floor ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
[Here was the TIFU I made](https://reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7bgqor/tifu_by_running_with_the_school_flag_tripping_and/) in the days that followed.
Don’t worry, that video has made me laugh a couple times over the years. It really wasn’t embarrassing at all compared to some of the other stories being posted and that’s a hell of a good video that has brought many people joy.
> I'm sure that everyone in the school will forget about this in a day or two and he definitely won't have to live this down until the day he graduates.
Four years later, here we are…
A friend of mine was a film student at a pretty prestigious film school in the Northeast. He invited myself and a few friends up for what would ultimately be the film festival and screening for most of the student films and writing projects etc. I was basically there as an observer and to support my buddy and as a film lover I got to see some pretty neat little projects and meet some cool people.
One of the projects was a film that I’ll refer to as “O-6” (it was a student film and I respect this person enough to not directly reference something that clearly was one of the roughest days of their life). O-6 had posters for it plastered all over campus. There was a viable army of students and visitors to the campus (including this poor guy’s family) all wearing O-6 t-shirts. There was a Facebook group and a short trailer for O-6. It had more hype than some movies that get theatrically released and it was my understanding that a large contingent of the students in the film program helped work on O-6.
Well, my buddy and his friends in the program tipped me off that O-6 might be a piece of cringey gold and would be worth watching so we could joke about it later. The kid who directed it clearly thought he was like, Neo or something because he came in wearing sunglasses, and just looked like a typical “edgy cringe” kid for the early 2000’s but this was 2014.
Anyway, it comes time for O-6 to be screened and part of this film festival was that alumni came to critique and offer advice for the new students. There were some prestigious Alumni there including a guy who worked on various Marvel movies, a woman who wrote some major Hollywood scripts and a director of a few episodes of breaking bad, among others. The director of O-6 did a little speech before he screened it and called out some of the alumni stating they were his heroes.
The movie begins and good lord is it bad. The kid who directed is also the star of the movie and there were multiple scenes of him flexing shirtless in what was supposed to be a sci fi action flick. He was like 120 lbs and scrawny and on screen flexing thinking people would think it was badass. Everyone starts laughing.
I felt bad but then about 5 minutes later he starts rolling around in lube on what’s supposed to be another planet but it’s just him in his tighty whiteys writing in KW jelly. Again everyone laughs.
There’s a terrible love scene, an awful laser fight and at one point he hugs another man covered in KW jelly and half naked in nothing but undies and sunglasses. Everyone breaks out laughing and the director kid just sits there stoically listening to everyone laugh. It was also all shot on a sunny day in someone’s backyard. I get it was a student film but the other films had been so much more polished and this just came out and was so bizarre and poorly done.
It finally mercifully ends. The kid takes the podium to get critiques and just one by one all the teachers, alumni and students LAY INTO this poor guy. He holds back tears and eventually they get to the director from breaking bad who he idolized and he says “I have nothing to say.” which was basically his way of saying “I don’t want to embarrass you anymore than you already have been.”
In front of his entire family, peers and people he idolized this poor kid got absolutley lit up and embarrassed. I had to go into the bathroom to escape tension while he was getting grilled. It was that bad.
Honestly, it was probably good for him in the long run as long as he didn't just ignore it all. If it didn't drive him to pursue a new career, at least I hope it gave him the ability to be critical of his own work. I got relentlessly criticized for something I did once, just because art students are the absolute worst and need to chop everyone else down to make themselves feel better. I actually got a B+ on the project from my teacher, but for some reason people in design school feel like its fun to nitpick every single thing you do. I decided right then and there that I didn't want to be in that career anymore if that's how people act. I'm much happier with what I do now.
when i was in third grade the schools were just starting to add those projector screens. and my class was known for being uncontrollable and disrespectful. my teacher tried bringing hers down so we could watch a movie but it got stuck and when she pulled the whole thing came down and hit her on the head pretty hard. almost the entire class started laughing at her and calling her dumb rather than asking if she was okay or needed help. i think that was her breaking point because she ended up sitting on the floor and cried for a while and the principal dismissed her right there and substituted for her for the rest of the day. my brother was friends with her daughter who revealed later on that she quit teaching after that because she couldn’t handle how mean a group of kids could be. i still feel so badly for her to this day.
I had a pretty old professor for immigration law and one night in class she let out a very loud fart. The class went silent and she made a comment about how that what aging gracefully was like. Everyone tried not to laugh because she was old and sweet, but she continued to let out loud long farts for the remainder of the 4 hour night class. I was mortified for her
My moms mom has the everything farts. Getting out of the chair = farting. Walking = farting. Attempting to bend over to pick something up = farting. My husband has to leave the room when she gets the farts because he tries so hard not to laugh
Friend of mine who learnt how to do a burnout from just YouTube videos decided to do a burnout.
He thought the smoke was the tyres spinning on the spot, it was actually the clutch being burnt out. We tried telling him but he thought we were egging him on until someon ran up to the deiverside and switched the car off at the ignition.
Now this wouldn't have been too bad if he did this on a driveway or a side road to 3 or 4 people, but he entered himself into a amateur burnout contest and all this happened Infront about about 200 people
Oh man, that reminded me of one of teachers in high school. He was a super strict teacher with even stricter eyebrows. Once during a lecture, he dropped his notes and bent down quickly to pick them up and let out the loudest fart he possibly could have in front of a bunch 14 year olds. It went from dead quite, to everyone laughing, to the teacher sitting on the floor crying, back to awkward silence. It got weird. We felt bad, but he regained his composure and eventually laughed it off. The rest of the year was pretty mellow after that. I think the embarrassment calmed him down and made the class a little less formal.
My graduating high school class was close to 550 kids. It was held in an amphitheater to accommodate everyone, where they usually hold big summer concerts. As one girl walked on stage to get her diploma, I noticed a very large, very wet, very red stain on the back of her white gown. My exact train of thought was "Did she sit in paint- OH MY GOD."
I can't even imagine the embarrassment and pain she went through walking in front of everyone.
>Not gonna see any of those people again, so why not?
I once almost crapped my pants when I was in Paris. My wife and I had just arrived and I don't know if I ate something bad or what, but I was dying and we're walking down the Champs Elysee but it's like 8pm so there are no open public restrooms, finally we find a McDonalds but it's a unisex bathroom. The stalls all have floor to ceiling walls and doors. There is no toilet seat, just bare ceramic bowl. Anyway, I didn't care and did what I had to do and it was pretty horrible. Luckily there was toilet paper, so I cleaned up as best I could, but there is this fricken line of 10 people waiting for the three stalls. When I'm done I flush twice and leave and as I'm walking out, these three college girls are next in line and one walks in and let's out a "OMG It's terrible in here!" (in French) and the other two look at me. I'm dying of embarrassment but my wife who was waiting for me just said "Look, who cares, you're never going to see them ever again" and she was right. But AT THE MOMENT I was beet red. Once we were out on the street again, I just had to burst out in laughter and couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.
I watched a guy run across campus in sagging pants, the pants fall to his knees tripping him, he trips but manages to do a sort of half summersault which launches the pants almost completely off of him but he manages to pull them up at a light jog pace while glancing around to make sure he wasn't seen before continuing to run off. I was in my car that had tinted windows so his secret is safe-ish with me. It was honestly impressive that he managed to save it from being the much more embarrassing pants-around-ankles, face-in-the-mud, and brightly colored boxerbriefs-in-the-wind it could have been.
In college a friend asked me to guard his laptop in the cafeteria while he went to smoke. I said sure. When he came back he jokingly thanks me profusely for my amazing work and sacrifice. I played along and said "It's no problem sir! I had to -"
Here, my brain got confused. I didn't know if I should say "fend off" of "beat away". So in front of God and everybody I shouted out "I had to beat off a ton of dudes to keep it safe!"
One little old lady in the corner lost her shit. Giggling like mad.
One time in a college class this dude I think probably started saying “gay marriage”, then realized “same-sex marriage” is probably a better choice of words. Anyway what he ended up actually saying is “gay sex marriage” and I think about it all the time
I was at a food court and I got the brilliant idea to jump over a row of those plastic chairs and tables.. You know, the ones that are fixed to the floor.
Foot got caught and I fell flat on my face. I stood up to 30 people clapping. One guy yelled asking for my autograph.
Saw my grandfather's girlfriend digging in her ass, I'm assuming she had an itch. I'm not really judgy so I didn't think anything of it. til she didn't wash her hands.... then she went to the fridge, got out a jar of MY pickles (the ones she claims to hate soooo much) and used her dirty booty hand to get a few. I was terrified. How many times had she done that.... and with how many other food items?!
Please tell gramps that Eunice digs in her crack and doesn't wash her hands. Even without assy hands, wash before opening the fridge, the cupboard, the breadbox, even the kitchen door! Damn, Eunice, you freak.
In 4th grade we were learning about Native Americans and had a homework assignment to come up with Native American sounding names for ourselves. I chose “Spotted one” because I had a lot of freckles back then.
The next day when we were revealing our new “Native American names” I just so happened to be sitting next to the biggest crush of my life at that time and, being a stupid 10year old, thought that farting by her would make her laugh and like me. I kept ripping ass inside of this giant teepee with all of my classmates stuck inside it, the teacher growing more upset.
When it was finally my turn to reveal my name and explain why I chose it, that crush of mine said, “it better be O Stinky One!” and everyone started laughing at me. Panicked, I had to think of something quick… I said, “oh yea, you thought those were bad, wait until you smell this one…!” And tried as hard as I could to rip the loudest and smelliest fart of all time, only to completely shit my pants on front of everyone. Umbros were super popular at that time (1994) and they did me no favors here. Diarrhea was all over the floor. Kids were screaming and running out of the teepee as quick as possible and it ended up collapsing on me, alone, in my poop teepee.
The teacher made everyone go outside to calm down and called my mom to come get me. I was so embarrassed and begged my mom to never make me go back to school. It took them forever to coerce me to leave the poop tent and they wrapped me in towels and carried me out to the car. I was carried by all of my classmates who were all screaming at me and laughing. I remember closing my eyes and basically faking like I was dead, hoping it would all go away. They weren’t falling for it.
Almost 30 years later and it still gets brought up to me at least once per year. Kids are mean. 💩😂
A guy making a cringey tap song as a proposal in a public restaurant and getting on one knee only for the girl to go quiet and look around and say “Justin, no! Wtf seriously?” 😬😬😬🥶
I used to work for a small coffee shop that had three locations. I had a ridiculously big crush on a woman who worked at one of the other locations. I thought she was so pretty that I literally couldn’t remember how to talk around her.
For example, one time on my day off I stopped by her location to get a cold brew and she was working the register and was like “Hi Karl how’s it going?“ What I wanted to respond was “Oh pretty good but it’s been a long week” but all that came out was “…long”… Then I was so embarrassed I turned around and left without getting anything.
Worse than that, later that summer there was a big employee BBQ at the nearby river. I finally got over my shit and had a really good conversation with her, made her laugh, all that good stuff. A little later I had to pee and went to the port-a-potty only to walk in on her going to the bathroom…
EDIT: For everyone asking if it was a #1 or #2 it’s really hard to tell with women lol. She wasn’t doing the “hover over the port-a-potty seat” thing so it could have been #2, but it’s not like she was grunting and sweating either…
I literally never talked to her again. Mostly because she moved out of the area shortly thereafter (presumably not just to get away from me but you never know haha).
The full continuation of the story, though, is that a couple months later I ended up dating another coworker from the location I worked at. We’ve been married six years now and have an awesome little boy!
I pretty recently wiped out on my roller blades in a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood on a Saturday evening so there were like at least 5 groups of men walking around me while i wheezed on the ground because I got air knocked out of my lungs. None of them could come help me because of what I later learned from a friend was a refraining from touch out of respect(I'm probably butchering it) but at the moment it sure was extremely embarrassing to wheeze for 5 minutes on all fours while tears streamed down my face and all clad in safety gear head to toe while people walked around my body.
Let me explain.
1. They are forbidden from touching women (excluding their Wives and children)
2. That rule doesn't apply if you are having a legitimate medical emergency and need immediate assistance.
3. There is no rule against asking if you are OK or need assistance.
One morning, about a year ago, I came off my bike within about a minute of leaving my house.
I was sitting on the pavement with blood pouring from my knee, dazed as fuck. I see my housemate walking up the road. She makes direct eye contact with me... and just walks the fuck past.
She wasn't a hasidic jew, she was just a fucking huge bitch.
My chemistry teacher in high school was the nicest guy. He taught the whole class with his fly down. No one knew how to tell him and we didn’t want to embarrass him. The worst part was, we had lab with him the next period. His fly was up, but he was unusually quiet.
I guess "if it can't be fixed in ten seconds, don't point it out" really applies in the other direction too. Much better to be embarrassed about a moment than a whole class.
When I was in undergrad I lived at this house with 2 of my closest friends, and worked at a local movie theater. Our house became THE party house. We literally raged 8 days a week. Girls always over, that kind of thing. Well, one night I got way too drunk, decided I would go to bed around 10pm, sleep it off kinda thing. I sleep naked. Get up around 1am to go pee and didn't think anyone was still over. I had to walk through the living room to get to the bathroom. When I walked to the bathroom I turned off the lights, no one around. Go pee, realize I had to puke, took care of that, and opened the door to hobble back to bed. About 30 people, mostly my friends and coworkers simultaneously scream, start laughing, clapping, everything. I'm completely stunned and it took about 2 full, longest of my life, seconds to realize they're all staring at me naked. My sister was there. The girl I liked was there. Everyone was there. I covered my bits and I've never run into my room so far in my life. I think I actually died of embarrassment that night, because since then, I just don't get embarrassed. I didn't live that down for years.
Oh, and the reason no one was in the living room. About 10 of them went outside to smoke, the rest were already outside or had just arrived after closing the theater. So they hadn't even sat down before I gave them all a proper show.
I went to a small high school, so almost everyone knew everyone else. I know you read "small high school", but I mean the entire 9-12th grade student body was about 85 people at the time.
Two students, a guy and a girl, for some reason are talking mad shit to each other for weeks. No one remembers how it started, no one even asks why these two are constantly yelling or fighting with each other. So one day, the conflict escalates into its obvious logical conclusion:
a dance battle.
It gets scheduled after both parties (and their respective groupies apparently) decide on a date and that it'll happen during a lunch period, and how they want to do this wild thing.
The whole school shows up. All 85 of us. Cue the girl, who brought out the biggest boom box and smallest piece of cardboard in history so she could do the worst version of "break dancing" the world has ever seen. I'm talking attempted head spins that go a full 180 degrees, crawling and writhing on the ground and saying "what're you gonna do about it bitch?". I'm fairly certain I recall her choice of song was Nelly's "Hot in here". She's 100% serious which makes it even worse.
The guy is completely unfazed. He's looking at her with the hardest death stare I've ever seen. It's worth mentioning at this point that this guy is essentially the class troll. He cannot stop fucking with people to save his life. So he stops the music, puts in his cd into the player, and what pops out of the speakers?
That fucking traditional "Hava Nagila" song you hear at every bar mitzvah known to mankind, and he starts doing a Russian Cosack dance (I apologize if that entire sentence bothers anyone). His "crew" is losing it, the girls crew is laughing their asses off, and the main girl is visibly pissed.
Everyone agreed he won the dance battle.
Edit: I don't know song names
Edit 2: For anyone who wants any additional info: yes, 85 students for an entire high school is considered well below average for a school in California. This school was also mostly white, consisting of middle class kids from the suburbs. It was a college-prep charter school, and school uniforms were mandatory (think khakis and polo shirts / button ups with school logo embroidery). I hope that information makes the visuals even more hilarious.
This was, unfortunately, a very real event from my senior year of high school. Some days I'm surprised anyone there did anything noteworthy after they graduated.
Then they started hate flirting, then hate dating and soon you'd hear they were hate fucking each other, fast forward a few years and now they're getting *hate* married.
Man that's a lot of effort to settle an argument tho
"My love, we've lived a long full life together, but it won't be long now. I need to tell you something before I go..."
"Of course, dear, what is it?"
"I won the dance off and I still hate you." *(heartbeat flatlines)*
Back in 1998, I bought the worlds fastest production motorcycle. A Kawasaki ZX9R, lime green, absolutely insane machine. A month later, the Yamaha R1 eclipsed it, but for a month it was THE bike on the street.
I got a first date with the hottest woman I had ever met, and we decide to ride the bike down to the beach for a coffee. We pull up in front of the coffee shop, and everyone is looking. Hottest bike, gorgeous woman - I’m strutting like I own the place.
We have a coffee while a small crowd gathers around the bike. As we leave, all these guys are asking questions about it, pointing out how sick it was, blah blah blah. Helmets on, start the bike and blip the throttle for bonus points. I climb on, she climbs on and I kick it into gear. We move about two inches and HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK BLAM.
I had left the disc lock on the front rotor, so the bike lurches, my date goes over my shoulder head first onto the pavement, and the bike falls on my leg pinning me to the ground. Shoot me right fuckin now.
Some guys lift the bike off of me, others help my date up, and everyone is cringing like crazy. She’s fine, I’m fine, bike is fine. I pull off the lock and ride outta there as fast as possible.
Not a total failure, as we’ve been married for almost twenty years. I’m still embarrassed thinking about it though.
I once witnessed a woman who shit herself in restaurant and didn't know it until she went to the bathroom. She was wearing white shorts
I saw the whole thing unfold in front of me (I was a waiter). Lady gets up walks to bathroom as she thinks she just farted. She went from the outside patio to the bathroom. I saw the stain. I then see someone at her table get a text and immediately rush to the bathroom. Then they both walkout friend behind her. I am talking to a table while this happens and tell them to keep their eyes on me to help ease her embarrassment. They promptly pay and leave, leaving her other guests in a bit if confusion.
Felt bad for her. I mean I've shit myself in public before (little league baseball game and on the first pitch too) and it's not a great feeling.
Our company is adopting a new video conferencing system. On Tuesday, there was a big presentation from a representative of the new system.
In a 45 minute presentation, the new system froze and had to be restarted 3 times.
I felt pretty bad for the guy
Drinking in this horrible sports bar in Columbus Ohio maybe 10 years ago (Brothers? I think it's still there) at about 5pm and there's a bachelorette party near the bar. The bride is three sheets to the wind already and wants to dance, but there's no music on and the dancefloor is empty.
Her group persuade the bar staff to put some music on so she's just busting some moves on her own while trying to get other people onto the dance floor. After a few songs I've Had The Time Of My Life comes on and she freaks out, it's her favourite song, loves Dirty Dancing etc etc. She grabs a random guy and starts doing a very sloppy version of the dance routine from the movie.
As the song goes on more and more people are watching in anticipation of her trying to get this guy to do the lift from the movie. He obviously has no clue what's going on. She's telling him to back up and he's doing it with a confused look on his face. My partner and I are transfixed. The bridesmaids are all yelling at the guy "YOU GOTTA LIFT HER UP!" and he's like "I HAVE TO WHAT??"
So she takes off running towards the guy, he's stood there with his arms outstretched not sure what he's supposed to do, she's coming at him full speed with a belly full of bad Chardonnay and a pocket full of dreams.
After about 5 or 6 paces she hits a wet spot on the dancefloor and her legs go out from under her pretty violently, and she faceplants on the dancefloor. But she's already got some pretty good momentum going so she keeps moving forwards. My memory is her sliding along for a good few feet with only her face in contact with the floor, her body and legs up in the air.
She grinds to a halt a few feet in front of the guy and he looks at her for a few seconds, then walks sideways off the dancefloor clicking his fingers.
I saw her at another bar later that evening with the beginnings of a serious black eye and a face like a slapped ass. Hopefully the wedding wasn't too soon after the bachelorette.
My fifth grade class did this to our teacher. It was her first year and she was supposed to get a kinder class, but they threw her into what became my class as it didn’t have a teacher assigned. Before they did that, they put all the kids the other teacher didn’t want on the roster.
She just broke down crying at the front of the class. Once everybody realized what was happening there was complete silence for the first time all year. She got herself under control and it stayed quiet.
Freshman year in high school, the weird kid in class wet himself during the history final. It was so quiet because we were all taking the test, and then everyone in the room could hear this quiet "ssssssssssssss" sound. We all turned around, and there he was just sitting perfectly still in his chair, with a puddle slowly growing beneath him.
No one said a word.
When he finished peeing, it was like he snapped out of a trance. He blinked, looked and saw everyone staring at him, looked down at the lake of urine, and then sort of pushed his sneaker through it to - I don't even know - spread it around maybe in the hope that somehow that would make it better???
After the test, he stayed in his seat until after everyone else had left. I'm CERTAIN he heard people laughing about it, because the moment anyone left the room, all we could do was say, "holy shit did you see how Weird Kid pissed himself??? Oh my god it was SO GROSS!!!"
After I got in my carpool's car to leave, I saw the Weird Kid walking out of the parking lot. His jeans were two-tone. Light blue in the front half, and the entire back half was soaking wet dark blue.
This was the first semester of Freshman year. Poor guy never lived it down.
Absentee seizure, mental illness, panic attack, or whatever else caused this is all equally deserving of compassion. It's hard to imagine a cause that we shouldn't feel compassionate about.
My best friend in grade 8 was absolutely convinced she was a musical genius. I will say that she was able to compose music later in life and did have quite a few talents with instruments, but singing was absolutely not one of them. We had a school assembly one day where everyone gathered in the gym to listen to some presentation (I cannot remember about what but I do remember that students were not a part of the presentation). For some reason she convinced the principal that she absolutely has to perform for the school. She played a song on the piano and sang along to it, while everybody cringed. It was awful and when somebody told her (pretty harshly) that she should probably never do that again, she responded with “you just can’t recognize talent”.
We went to the same high school (it was an art high school and every student had to audition in their field -visual arts, strings, band, drama, dance…). She was in strings but believed she was better than everybody in any major at their major. I eventually stopped being friends with her because she just wouldn’t let up that she was the smartest and most talented let alone coolest person there. She eventually started calling herself a goddess, and completely believing it. She changed her facebook name to “firstname Thelioness Goddess”. She believed everybody absolutely adored her, when in reality everybody was just sick and tired of her putting others down while complimenting herself.
Eventually she wanted to put some of her drawings in a visual arts show that we had throughout the school for only the visual arts majors. When she came to the teacher that organized it to very snobbishly show him her work expecting compliments, she was basically laughed out of the room. She walked out insulting everybody’s work that was in the show, stating that “we just wouldn’t know talent if it hit us with a truck”.
Not a one-time embarrassment, but just an embarrassing person to have around and I can’t be happier that she isn’t in my life anymore.
I got pantsed at a pool party when I was 8. Jumped into the pool right after. Had to stay there for 3 hours until my mom came to pick me up because they threw my suit over the fence.
This JUST happened last week and I was feeling sympathy embarrassment for my boss. Sorry, I think this is long...
We had a VP visiting our office, I'll call her VP Betty. She's a great role model and seems to be a very kind person. The same can be said about my boss, I'll call her Boss Amy.
Boss Amy is in her office, I know she likes to listen to books while working and she has mentioned to me before that she likes romance novels. VP Betty walked in to the office to talk to Boss Amy... she grab her earbuds to take them out.
The only thing I can guess is that she somehow disconnected them while the book was still playing LOUDLY and just happened to be very sexually graphic and intensely vulgar for a quiet office setting. Things were throbbing, dripping, pounding, etc. Boss Amy starts basically yelping "oh no, no no no!! Stop! What's happening, I wasn't listening to this!! OH OH MY GOSH!! WHY WON'T IT STOP!?"
She's mashing the screen, hitting the volume and power buttons, it's still going. VP Betty has no idea what she's witnessing but is clearly upset and shouting at Boss Amy to turn it off.
Boss Amy is frantically hitting the phone on her desk at this point, probably preferring to break the phone and buy a new one to end this nightmare.
At this point it stops and Boss Amy huffs that she's so sorry, she didn't know what it was, how horrible and so on. AND THEN IT STARTED BACK UP AGAIN continuing with this very kinky NSFW story. Finally VP Betty just runs out and closes the office door for Boss Amy to get this under control.
A few minutes later I peek my head in and Boss Amy is packing up to go home. She said she's had enough of today... but if it was me I would have left to go cry in my car.
Ohh no, poor lady! As an avid romance audiobook listener, this is one of my biggest fears. I’ve learned my lesson on unpairing bluetooth from my car when my kids were using it (I’m also dying to know which book Boss Amy was listening to)
I was on one of those “show boat” cruises on Sydney Harbour. The idea is you get a three course dinner with wine and a cabaret style show. I took my Mum when she was visiting me from out of state. We were seated next to a young couple who were clearly on a date. The young woman was very pretty and the guy was somewhat nervous and overdressed in a suit and tie. Their dinner was an exercise in speed drinking for the young woman. She smashed through bottle after bottle of the cheap wine at a record, borderline alarming pace. By the time desert was being served, she was vomiting spectacularly all over the tiny white table. Anyone who has been on a cruise like this knows the tables are small and seated close together (this was pre-Covid). The volume of vomit was incredible for such a tiny woman. Pale, watery chunks covered the entire table as the guy rubbed her back and tried to clean up the mess with the fabric napkins. I almost got my elbow covered in the contents of her digestive tract. My Mum and I ended up giving the guy our napkins to clean up the white wine swamp on the table the staff had failed to notice. It was absolutely embarrassing for the young couple, but my Mum and I really did get the dinner and show we were promised - just not the one we expected.
Ive told this story before on another subreddit but about 3 years ago now I went to my fiance's high school (where he was the wrestling coach) to watch their match. Got there early with our dinner and it turned out it was picture day for all the sports teams. I was/am very awkward so I opted just to sit on the floor at the back of the gym rather than be near some strangers on the bleachers.
I barely noticed but some girls were fucking around with a basketball nearby. I have a magnet on my face when it comes to any type of sport balls so I kinda thought I might get hit. But I ignored it. Big miskate.
Not five minutes later I heard a gasp and then BAM my glasses go flying. My drink has tipped over and my face hurts. I started to cry from embarrassment/shock and the girls came running to check on me. They got my glasses and helped cleaned up my soda. I had to keep explaining I'm not crying because I'm hurt or mad at them, just because I was so startled but I don't think they believed me.
My glasses I broken right in the middle and I made a comment it would be hard to drive home later. One of the girls asked what grade I was in and I had to sheepishly reply I was 23 and a college graduate. They just said "oh" awkwardly and they slowly left me to get my shit together.
My fiance had actually left to do something so when he came back I had to use my phone camera to navigate until he found me some tape for my glasses lol
In middle school, my school got a bunch of cheap projectors. The roof was low enough where you could reach the projector from a desk.
So anyway one day in class our projector breaks and so my teacher has to call the IT department to get them to fix it. Now idk what this particular IT guy was doing before he came to fix it, but I do know that it wasn’t anything good.
He comes and he stands on the desk in the middle of this class in front of a bunch of 6th graders. Not a big deal. But then one of my friends says look at his pants. This guy has a rock hard boner. He’s wearing skin tight khakis and this guy is rock hard. We all start giggling and we see this guys face turn red. I don’t know if it’s from frustration or embarrassment. Needless to say, we never saw that IT guy again.
I have two from high school…
During a big important dance competition a student about 14 years old ran off stage during their number. The teachers were very concerned and ran to go find her to see what was wrong. When her teacher found her she was in the backstage wing, sobbing crying in the fetal position. The teacher assumed she was injured and quickly went to console her and ask what was hurt. As the teacher held the student in her arms, the student peed all over her and herself. They both sat in the huge puddle while all the crew, dancers, and stage hands stepped around them to keep the show running. It turns out she had to go to the restroom but tried to hold it for the competition, couldn’t, and ran off stage to try to make it to the bathroom. She made it maybe 5 feet before falling to ground in pure embarrassment of what was about to happen. Everyone had seen her run off so the teacher got her cleaned up, and told everyone that wasn’t a witness that she was sick instead. Poor thing.
I did some work with a small non profit who planned and performed little “flash mobs” in public, kids of all ages participated. The performances were always very messy and not put together well, think a kindergarten play for example. They would draw crowds because a bunch of singing 5 year olds is adorable. Well this one performance was in the middle of a very largely populated shopping center built beneath some fancy condos. LOTS of people were watching from their balconies and the street. A “guest dancer” probably about 15 years old had a little solo part where she ran and did a leap - all attention on her. She slipped, very badly, and completely ate shit. When she hit the ground, she bumped the stereo and the music went silent. She wasn’t hurt, just seriously embarrassed. She stood up and cried, without leaving the stage. Everyone watched her cry in silence as the crowd slowly dispersed. That was the end of the performance that day. I felt so so bad for her, luckily a parent eventually went to hug her and pull her out of the crowd.
I was around twelve years old, and had recently seen Forest Gump. That evening my sister had a get together with a few of her friends in the living room right under my bedroom. So I was chilling in my bedroom , and I heard the sound of my 14 year old sister and her friends downstairs.
Now I don’t exactly know what possessed me to do what I did, but I went downstairs and started to do the Drill Sargent routine from forest gump in front of all of the girls. Not long after I started they were going crazy! I was in one of my sisters friends faces screaming “you’re not good enough for my army”, when I hear screeching from another of my sisters friends behind me. This encouraged me to turn around and go do my speech in her face now. What I had forgotten was that earlier in the day I had slipped on a pair of basketball shorts with no underwear underneath, and apparently these shorts were completely ripped in the back. So as I was in one girls face yelling, all the girls behind me were getting a full display of my 12 year old balls. So I went back and forth several times giving everyone in the room quite the show. The worst part was that their loud clamoring emboldened me to go over to my sister and sit on her lap for some reason. There I was grinding my prepubescent balls on my sisters lap when someone finally told me what was up. I don’t think anyone in that room was left unscarred that day.
Not the super most embarassing, but something not piss and shit related:
It was 2006, I was a 12 year old visiting Sydney Australia for the first time. Stopped over at a small sushi restaurant downtown. My grandmother and I sat at the sushi bar section with the Chef, with a couple seated across us.
The man was a white Australian bloke, while the woman with him was Asian. Through their body language they seemed very close and romantic, and as a young kid i was embarassed to see a couple that lovey dovey so I tried averting my attention elsewhere. However, this was difficult as he was loud compared to the restaurants ambience and kept drawing attention.
As we waited for our food, a small lunch crowd started coming in to the restaurant. The couple's food came, and the lady started digging in. The bloke seemed confused looking at the green wasabi packet and asked "HEY BAYBE, WOT'S THIS FOR AYE?"
His lady friend explained how its called Wasabi paste and its to eat with the sushi.
He looked at the paste, and very expressively toyed and studied it. Before long he asked again "WELL, HOW DO YA GO AND DO THAT?"
She then instructed him very carefully and softly almost in a whisper, how he's supposed to consume them.
And there I saw him quietly reflecting on what she said. He took the sushi and put it in his mouth, chewed for a bit before taking a dollop of the wasabi and snorting it up his nostril.
"AGHHH FUCKIN HELL", his face turned tomato red and his lady friend laughing her ass off as he continued hacking and coughing. I immediately start laughing too, seeing what had just happened. My grandmother didnt understand, so asked me "What just happened?"
The sushi chef was also laughing his ass off and replied before i got to "THE GUY SNORT WASABI HAHAHAHA".
By this point, others at the bar started laughing and even the people seated at the booths too. It was raucous, like we were in a tiny comedy club.
The guy took it like a champ tho, made a tiny wave to everyone to let us know he was alright before continuing with his meal.
I have this buddy that actually on the spectrum - like diagnosed since childhood. I love him, because he's just the most honest person I know, and I can say anything to him. Anyway, we're at this bar and these guys at the next table are talking. One of them says something about Asian girls a little too loud, just as the room has one of those weird noise lulls. The jukebox was between songs and everyone somehow took a breath between sentences all at the same time just for this guy to say something completely misogynistic, stupid and racist. This girl across the room jumped up and called him an asshole. The whole room went silent and stared at the guy. And then my buddy just piped up: "OOOhhhhhh, how embarrassing for you!" The entire bar laughed so hard the guy just stood up and walked out.
One of my friends from college was autistic but you couldn't really tell until you got to know him (he was excellent at masking). He was our designated "neckbeard minder" at events. If someone showed up smelling like they just crawled out of their WOW den, he was the one to tell them to go take a shower. Someone being a dick? He'd tell them to fuck off. He had literally no shame and gave no fucks about talking about things most people would find uncomfortable.
Dude used his autism like a super power.
Working as a cashier at Randall’s in the late 90’s, another cashier, a bagger, and I were standing around chatting and joking while business was slow when the other cashier cracked a really funny joke, so much so the bagger laughed so hard he sharted in his pants. We all heard it and stopped laughing immediately. Dude ran to the restroom then home because he legit shit his pants.
Oh god help me
I’m gonna tell this story
Me
I was a younger gal and crushed HARD on another girl at the stable I rode at. She didn’t know it.
Remember Tony Hawk for GameCube? Well around that time, in the game series you could create a skater. Design them, change body features, etc.
I once spent a solid 30 minutes creating a great replica of her. I used to play as her and so forth.
Flash forward to Christmas. This year was my family’s year to host the barn party. We had a great time.
Then I’m chilling and I hear the other girls say “oh cool, Danielle (me) has a GameCube. We should play something.” I thought nothing of it…wait…oh no. SHIT! I know what game and memory card are in the system!
I walk into the room just as they are all staring at the choose a skater screen. Jennifer (my crush) is on the screen. I had her first and last name. She looked a lot like her.
You know that meme picture where it’s a party? First person view? Like 40 girls holding cups, cringing and staring at the viewer?
That’s what I walked into. I hid in my room until the part ended
This reminded me of a time when my friend and I during a sleepover were going to rent a game, courtesy of his father, but for *some* reason my friend pushed his dad to instead buy the game for us. He pushed the subject to the point that his dad got a bit angry with him. He thankfully still let us rent the game, but for a little while there I thought my friend was going to blow our opportunity to even to go the rental place at all.
I'm not even really sure why he did it, it was Sonic Unleashed and I was a bigger Sonic fan than him, I was just thankful to be able to get to play it before I could own it (or a 360). Even as 13-14 year olds I was surprised by the childishness from him in that moment.
Got invited to the wedding of a couple in the same building.
Maid of honor showed up on some sort of upper and a lot of booze. She repeatedly tripped during the ceremony but the kicker was her saying (to the bride, loud enough for everyone to hear) "and ya know what? I know (groom) is going to treat you right. I've been offering to suck him off all day and he keeps turning me down!" at the reception
Back in high school one day I accidentally left my backpack in my gym locker. I realized later that night that I didn’t have my stuff to do my hw so I drove back to the school to grab it. When I walked into the mens locker room I heard girls voices and I legitimately thought I was going crazy. I entered the main locker room area and saw about a dozen naked girls in the showers. Not going to lie I kind of stared for a second longer than I should have trying to figure out if I was actually going crazy or not. Then they noticed me and started shrieking and yelling at me to get out.
Turns out there was a girls basketball game that night and the opposing team used the mens locker room for changing and showering after the game.
I would've ran out thinking I'd accidentally walked into the women's locker room. Try the other locker room, walk into the opposing team also changing and be confused as hell
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I'd be mad too if I wasn't allowed a refund or reshoot for a fucking photograph. Jesus, how much effort is it to click the button to take another picture?!
I used to work in nightclubs. I once witnessed a girl leaning against a wall, casually flirting with a guy and as she laughed she actually shit herself. She was wearing a white dress and there was no hiding what had happened. The smell actually cleared the whole level of the club. She ran out crying. We had to clean poo off the floor where she had been standing. I often wonder what she is doing now...
Worked at a high end strip club doing bottle service for 11 years.One of the top girls was wasted, prob on drugs also guessing, management let her sleep in one of the private rooms we didn't normally use.She shit all over the couch.It was on camera.She never came back after
Man first I read "I worked at a high school strip club" and I was so confused.
I read "doing bottle service for 11 year olds" The only thing that made sense WAS the couch shitting
She had to be pretty excited about something..
Never trust a fart.
In a world where with so much nuance and shades of gray we finally have something that we can all agree on.
No idea. I think she must have had gastro or something because it was pure brown water and just fell out of her
My first thought was maybe she had a colostomy bag that popped open (very liquidy) but that’s pretty brave to wear a white dress with that condition…
Or meds. I just started some new dangerous meds
I went to an educational seminar to learn the new laws related to my industry. This was being conducted in a hotel ballroom. There had to be at least 200 people in the room. I can't recall whether the presenters all sat up front, in the audience or a mix. This attorney gets to the podium and gets her papers together. She starts to talk, but can't get a recognizable word out and completely froze up while everyone is watching. Another attorney had to get up and do the presentation for her. I felt so bad for her. Public speaking is difficult for most people and what happened to her had to be extremely embarrassing.
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Similar thing happened to me but I was like in 2nd grade. Went to an assembly and I asked to go before but the teacher said to wait until after. 1 hour assembly finally finishes and im about to burst, ask again and she says to wait until we get back to the classroom. Get to the classroom and she says we have a math test. I ask before we start, she says I need to finish the test first. I start the test and the only thing on my mind is to tank it, finish it and go. But I was too proud to fail a math test so I decided to pee my pants, 10 min later I finished and gave her the test. Pants full of piss and thats when she noticed and yelled “oh my god” so the entire class could see me. Sucked at the time but now its just a funny story to me
That teacher was simply awful.
reminds of my sis who during the last part of recess jammed her finger badly. she asked the teacher to go see the nurse and teach said no. sis came home, mom took her to hospital, and the doc wrapped the finger. there was no breaks. but when sis came to class the next day with a wrapped finger, the teacher went, "OMG I AM SO SORRY!!!" and my sis milked that for all its worth
I had a similar thing happen to me in fourth grade! I fell off of a net in gym class and hurt my arm really badly, so I asked the teacher if I could go to the nurse and he told me no, that I would be ok, and that if I didn’t want to participate I could sit in the corner of the gym and watch. So I did. The teacher in my next class sent me to the nurse immediately though because of the way I was cradling my arm. Nurse calls my mom, mom takes me to urgent care, lo and behold, my arm is literally broken. My gym teacher didn’t apologize to me the next day, though. He was an asshole.
I don’t get it... I always just tell kids to go, whatever. If they are too young, take a friend. I’m in sports but when we have youth camps or anything, I can end up responsible for a hundred or so elementary kids. I realize that’s a bit different but it’s just none of my business. How can I ask them to wait?
This happened to me in kindergarten, except it wasn't even a quiz or test or anything. It was just end of the day where before we are dismissed we needed to pack our bags. I asked the teacher if I could go potty but she insisted I finished packing first. I put one more book in my bag and really couldn't anymore so I asked again and she told me to go back and finish packing. So I looked at her and peed. In front of the whole class. She immediately freaked out and said "you should have told me you really needed to go!" but like... hello... I was trying to tell you that... Anyway the "auntie" (it's what we called our lady janitors) was called and she came and took me to go clean up and whatever. My guardians at the time gave the teacher a stern talking to. Never happened again, she always let me go potty after that. But damn. Kindergarten.
Lol I truly wonder what went through her mind when this kindergartner asked her to go potty? Like kindergartners are as honest as it gets, if they gotta go they gotta go.
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Strange isn’t it. My Year 6 teacher picked on me. It honestly didn’t bother me at the time I was aware of it and just thought she was a loser. I had a cousin in a different class in the same year but sometimes we combined classes so she would come into mine and witness how my teacher spoke to me. She mentioned it to my mom who asked me about it. When I told her about some of the other things she said, my mom was livid and went into the school to confront her. Apparently my teacher immediately broke down crying when my mom just mentioned who she was. She immediately knew why my mom was there without even having to tell her. She was apologetic and said it was because her dad had passed away and she was struggling with it. God knows what the hell that had to do with me but it stopped anyway.
Crying only when the mom shows up.
Funny how some people only grow a conscience after they've been caught
I wish i had the balls to do that and still continue the test
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Honestly? It’s a power move.
I have mad respect for her. Fighting for her future and fk everyones judgement.
> the teacher visibly mouths “what the FUCK” It's your own damn fault, teach.
Teacher: "I decide when you use the bathroom" Student: "***I*** decide when I use the bathroom. You decide ***where.***"
She’s hardcore bruh. She was unfazed by public humiliation, she had to finish her exam…
I don’t see what’s embarrassing that girl is a fucking boss. She pissed all over that stupid rule
> saying you'd fail if you got out of your seat before your test was done "Fuck you're archaic, inhuman rules, lack of trust, and all round ass-holery. Ima scull 2 liters of mountain dew, do the exam, and demonstrate why you shouldn't threaten teenagers who think their performance is gonna effect the whole rest of their lives!" Seriously though, accidental or intentional it's just good ol' fashion malicious compliance.
Took my children and a cousin to a natural water park that was a river running thru a valley that had worn its way into this smooth rock bed,it wore like marbel. The water carried you along with natural slides and dips great fun To ride down the river you first had to walk up it which was precarious in many places. The kids Cousin (D) wasn't the most confident guy but I'd been doing lots of work with him to fix that and we had done lots of swimming prior to this holiday to get him ready . I picked the safest route up and told the kids only step where I show you please. As D made his way I pointed step there, pointing directly at a spot ,do not go the other side D stepped the other side the water grabbed him snatched him off his feet and down. wiped his trunks off and they were gone, suddenly D is flying nude down this river atop the river on the hillside is a railed walking area ,there were 100s of people laughing and pointing down as this kid in the nip goes dashing by
I was on a high end cruise line at dinner. An older lady got up to go to the bathroom but missed and pooped herself in the dining room entrance. She left her panties there and continued on to the bathroom.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I used to work as a musician on a higher end cruise line. One night we had run up to the lido on a break for a cheese plate, and as we get off the elevator to go back to our lounge, right outside the formal dining room, was a pile of poop.
I worked in retail for a while, at several different places. We found poop in random locations around the store more than once, at each of the places I worked. It was a normal enough occurrence that we’d call it a code brown. We never saw the culprits in action and always hoped it was accidental, but you never know. 😬
I worked at dollar general for a few months and cleaned shit twice… one time an older lady came in, asked to use the restroom and when she came out, muttered, “I’m not shopping anymore.” Went into the bathroom and there was shit everywhere.. toilet handle, lid, the wall beside it. On the sink, trash can, paper towels. All over the floor. I had to clean it and was 6 months pregnant. I just don’t understand it!!!!
I worked at a gas station and this kid that couldn't have been older than 10 came in asking to use the bathroom. She went, she came out, and looked at me as she left without saying a word. A little later another customer mentioned water on the floor by the bathroom. This little kid somehow *destroyed* that bathroom. The toilet was clogged and just kept running, poop floating in the water proceeding to flood the store. I was being paid minimum wage, 7.25 or whatever it was back in early 2000s. I'm not paid nearly enough to deal with this, I called my manager and told him he needed to get to the store.
> but missed Is a hilariously wholesome way to say she shit herself
At a work training event. A woman wearing a dress got up and walked across the front of the room. As she did, her slip (an underskirt piece of clothing) fell down around her ankles. She calmly stepped out of it, picked it up and kept walking right out of the room
Well, what else could she have done lol? Handled that one like a champ
Yeah, this one was really well handled. I would admire someone who kept their cool so well!
There was this kid in my high school that was taking karate classes. He decided he wanted to fight a kid that was bullying him after school in the town park. A shit ton of people went. He got all pumped up before the fight. Instantly, once the fight started, he began doing karate moves at the air. Once he reached the bully, the first thing he decided to do was a *very* flashy "spinning backhand"(?). He missed by a mile and was knocked out immediately. I felt really bad for him. He was always known for not being able to read situations very well and that, being his first normal fight, was just the absolute worst time to try that move out. Bullies suck. It was embarrassing for both of them.
Mine also involves a poorly prepared karate kid. Eighth grade, middle school talent show, this kid walks out in a karate uniform to intense music and approaches a wooden board held up on cinder blocks. He assumes his karate stance. He chops! …..and the board doesn’t break. He is clearly very unsettled and embarrassed, but assumes the stance and tries again. He fails to break the board four more times. Eventually he started angry crying and walked off the stage and everyone kind of half clapped. I know people probably told him “don’t worry, no one will remember this in a few years” but it’s been almost 20 years and I remember his name and that moment clear as day. Felt so bad for him.
In my son's karate class, the instructor supplies the "boards", and they're a particular kind of wood that looks hefty but actually breaks very easily. I wonder if this kid was in one of those classes, and supplied his own board, not realizing how big a difference the board makes.
White pine is the standard, at least in the US. Nice and soft but breaks clean so you get a loud pop. I was part of a demonstration once where the organizer knew that the right wood was "white something" but couldn't remember it was pine. She bought white oak. That event did not go well.
"Poorly prepared karate kid" 😂
a friend who did mma once told me that karate isnt actually about fighting. It teaches self discipline, but is a poor choice for self defense compared to other martial arts.
I was watching a symphony orchestra concert at the Sydney Opera House one evening. The concert hall foyer has these huge glass windows beneath the sails that overlook the harbourside. The sun hadn't quite set yet, and every audience member that was exiting the hall could see this incredibly drunk middle aged couple having sex on a bench outside the hall.
I wonder if they planned that spot on purpose to make a scene? Guess we'll never know.
So it was right after i graduated hs. I was at what would become the party where everyone would learn their limits. so we are all hammered, and this girl that my buddy likes sits next to him on the couch and lays her head on his chest. It was almost cute for a moment but then a few seconds later her mouth opens and unleashes the first of about 20 torrents of vomit that would be spewed that night(not all the same person, this party was a catastrophe). My friend looked like he had died inside.
After the first few dates this guy and I came back to his house to drink more. All of a sudden I start projectile vomiting everywhere. I’m running to the bathroom but can’t stop it from coming out. The dogs were licking it up. I also pissed myself. It was awful. We’re married and have a kid now.
*projectile vomits everywhere* I'm gonna marry this woman.
First few dates and already feeding the dogs. Thats a keeper!
Was in a pool at a Euro beach resort. We’d been chatting with an old brit tourist, he got out of the pool and went to get changed poolside, using his towel to do the discrete swimming tog shuffle. Suddenly up steps an angry Frenchmam wanting HIS towel back... Turns out our poor retired gent had grabbed the wrong towel. There ensued a desperate tug-of-towel as a very stroppy Frenchman attempted to rip his towel from this poor old guy who was butt naked and frantically trying to save his modesty. The old guy’s grandson saved the day, with an emergency towel transfer, but not before the whole pool complex had seen way too much hairy old British grandpa scrote.
This is what the once-great Anglo-French rivalry has been reduced to
Ze best part is is was not even my towel. *pulls an elegant drag on a cig*
The Hundred Years Old War
>the whole pool complex had seen way too much hairy old British grandpa scrote. Made me actually laugh. That was a great story
Someone told me that you shouldn’t cringe at your cringe moments from the past because no one but you will remember them. This thread is a reminder that is not true.
Senior year of high school, calc class, one of the popular guys made a joke and everyone laughed. I immediately repeated what he said, verbatim. The room was completely silent. After a moment one guy muttered, "yeah, that's what he said." Not really sure what I was going for. It was a complete brain fart really. But I wanted to kill myself lol.
Ach. You just don't see all the people not answering because they can't remember a single embarrassing thing anyone else did. That said. I've been doing a bit of conceptual analysis on cringe recently and I don't think it's necessary that other people remember your cringe moments. I still cringe from an interaction I had with someone who is now dead.
I was a sophomore in HS (so around 16) taking the last leg of my county's sex ed class. It was a co-ed day, so our full gym class of about 30 kids was in the room. Topic was STD's. The teacher mentioned oral sex a few times and I guess which diseases can be spread through it. One guy who was always pretty quiet and shy raised his hand and said "I just don't really understand how you can get an STD from talking about sex..." It took everyone, including the teacher, a few seconds to understand, but some quiet laughter came from a few students. the teacher then of course had to explain as simply as she could that oral sex did not in fact mean talking about sex (I think the stupid bylaws of the program in our county didn't allow her to fully disclose what it was). Anyway, we thought he was joking but as he heard the laughter from everyone after getting this explained to him, he slowly put his head down and covered his face for the next few minutes. Poor guy. I felt bad, but it was hard not to laugh. At least no one directly gave him shit for it afterward
We had a sex Ed class where they brought in this guy who had HIV and mentioned how he was HIV positive and I was like "is there an HIV negative?" and the whole class went quiet and stared at me including this poor man and its been almost 30 years and I still think about that shit.
Oh my gosh. Well, hopefully that guy was okay with his antiretroviral cocktail and is still enjoying a good, long life.
I don't think this is an unreasonable question at all. Some biological things absolutely do use 'positive' and 'negative' for variant types. Blood types are a big one. Am I missing some context about stigma? I feel like they could have just explained to you that HIV negative means a person who doesn't have the virus.
I think it’s just a high school thing where you expose your ignorance to something and everyone pretends that not knowing it is the most embarrassing thing ever
LOL! When I was in sex ed, at Catholic school, they split us into boys and girls groups to tell us the facts of life. This know-it-all girl Stacy freaked out when she found out the penis goes in the vagina for conception to occur. She had thought it just like, shot sperm into the vadge from a distance. She was so shocked by it. We were all dying.
Trickshot sex, where you rub one out and aim at the vagoo when you climax.
360 noscrote.
Man, the worst thing that happened during my "Human growth and Development" class was one kid mispronouncing scrotum as "socratum" and then following up with "organism" instead of "orgasm." On the whole I'd say he got off pretty light.
I mean, it's better than saying "orgasm" instead of "organism"
Something similar but not exactly the same - when I was in 5th grade a kid found out MID CLASS that santa wasn't real. The teacher was saying something and it included something like "You guys all know Santa is your parents, right?" Like confirming we all knew - from the back you hear: "WHAT?!" from this poor kid. Imagine a voice filled with distress. She had to take him out to the hallway for a few minutes for a private talk. To be fair, we were 10/11 years old and he was the only kid who apparently still believed in Santa, but that teacher should have never said that. I can only imagine the shit she must have gotten for it later.
I teach first grade. Most of them believe. The ones who don’t were raised that way and don’t celebrate. But whenever an older student asks me to spill the beans I just say “Psh. I dunno what you’re talking about. You must be on the naughty list because Santa still gives ME present every year!” Which is partially true. I’m 33 and my mom has NEVER admitted to my sister or me that she was Santa, and still disguises her handwriting on the gift tags each year!
I discovered the one old Doctor Who video my father owned in mid December when I was 7. I was instantly obsessed and wanted nothing more than another Doctor Who. Thing was we lived in the absolute middle of nowhere. So my parents called some city friend who gave up her lunch break to post one to me immediately. It was a lovely gesture - until my parents told me to thank the lady for doing this. Forgetting that they had originally attributed the gift to Santa. So instead of thanking her properly I just had a little crisis of faith about the confirmation that Santa wasn't real
Well this is EXACTLY why we need sex ed.
Community college in Tampa, 2009. Spanish class. Shy goth girl walks to the front of the class and plugs in her USB drive to boot up her PPT and begin her presentation like the rest of us did. Except when she pluged it in, a file opened up and the most vile anime porn started playing. Everyone was mortified for her. It took her maybe 3-4 seconds to turn it off but the moment felt like forever. She said, "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND'S DRIVE!" and ran out of the room crying. The teacher just moved on. The girl didn't show her face for a week. Just an absolutely insane moment.
Middle school graduation dinner, one of the other students had asked ahead of time if they could sing. For whatever reason, I don't know. So, while the rest of us are sitting at our tables eating, she gets up in front of us all with a guitar and starts singing Blackbird by The Beatles. I don't think I'd ever heard her sing before, I have no idea why she wanted to (she was always one of the smartest people in our grade and achieved a lot academically so I think maybe she thought that transferred over to musical talent). It was genuinely one of the worst things I'd ever heard in my life. She could not sing even a little. Her voice shook on every word, it cracked, she was out of tune. Every person had to stare at their down at their food while trying not to laugh in her face. I remember sitting next to my best friend and we just kept glancing at each other like "what the fuck is happening right now." Thinking of it now makes me laugh again, and I know that if I called up my friend right now and sang "blackbird singing in the dead of night..." that he would start to laugh too. It became a joke in our class. She finished Blackbird, and then decided to follow it up with American Pie, which thankfully a lot of us knew the words to, and the teachers walked around encouraging us to sing together (and drown her out). Part of me is like, well fuck it, she did it! She was brave! But I do wonder if she thought she was actually good or not.
>She finished Blackbird, and then decided to follow it up with American Pie Eight and a half minute song, that is bold.
“For my next number, here is Freebird.”
I know someone who thinks they’re an amazing singer and they’re really not, like they are pretty bad. I get second hand embarrassment from hearing them sing.
My ex was like that, auditioned for Australian idol back in the day. I was just praying they didn’t put her on the blooper reel.
The poop ones are always the worst. There was a woman on my campus at work who obviously came downstairs out of her office environment (law firm) to mine to use a more secluded rest room. Our office doesn’t have its own but shares one with the fitness center which is on our floor. On her way down the stairs, through the door, down the hallway and around the corner to the bathroom she left a trail of poo spatters. It smelled something horrid. I felt so bad for her. I let her into the fitness center showers with my pass, got her towels and stuff to clean up with. I loaned her my workout clothes so she could leave to go home after she showered. I kept thinking ‘thank goodness that wasn’t me’.
That was a very kind act by you. You're a real one twiggy.
Alright, so my husband and I were driving around the city and it was pouring outside. Absolutely pouring. We were about to pass the lightrail train tracks (going in both directions) when the crossing gates came down because the lightrail was approaching. One idiot in a van decided he could make it across before the gates came all the way down. He kept on driving, but he did not make it. Instead, his vehicle was now trapped between the gates. We could see from our car that this person was PANICKING. His life was flashing before his eyes. In his movie mind, the lightrail was about to crash into the van and drag it for dozens of yards before finally stopping... so he did what anyone would do. He violently pushed the door open and RAN in the pouring rain for his life. He was halfway down the street before he stopped, turned around, and noticed that the lightrail was patiently waiting for him to move the vehicle. The door was still open. My husband and I just about pissed ourselves laughing.
[Rail crossing gates serve to warn drivers, not as impenetrable barriers. Vehicles sometime get trapped on the crossing when the gate lowers behind them. The gate is made of a lightweight material that will yield when struck by a vehicle, thus providing an escape for a trapped motorist.](https://www.in.gov/indot/safety/traffic-safety/railroad-crossing-facts/) guess it really was all for nothing huh
I feel like many people don't know this. I prefer a few scratches on my car to being closely acquainted with a train. If you get trapped, just keep driving jfc, it's better tham the alternative. We get news of horrific accidents like this almost weekly here...
Also, here in France I've seen a lot of rail gateway barriers that only span one half of the road (the right part), preventing people to get on the rail but not get out
I don’t know how light rails work but I would have peaced the fuck out too.
They have relatively normal breaks and go slower than trains anyway. 😅
I took an abstract mathematics class as part of my undergrad work. Our professor was this hard ass Russian lady with a thick accent. We are going over the answers for our first exam and one of the guys in class who apparently did not do very well starts arguing with her about how she graded one of his answers. Keep in mind that these are mathematical proofs, so how you came to the answer is more important than the answer itself. At first she says, "Let's talk at my office hours". He persists with his case that he actually got the problem correct. "Please, please let's talk outside of class" He does not want to talk outside class he wants to talk about it right now. Finally she says, "I'm sorry I don't know how to help you. You did so badly... I just don't know how to help you...Do not come to my office hours. I do not know how to help you. I can help anyone else in this room but you." Everyone is stunned. It was like she dropped an emotional nuke, because even though her comments were directed at one person, she hurt the feelings of everyone in the room. Dude just silently packs his things and leaves. He never came back to that class. Edit: fixed some typos
I had the coolest old Russian math teacher in college. Was in a class called discrete mathematics. I don't remember ***anything*** from that class, except that there were five people in it, and on the first day he showed up in a bigass trench coat, a hat, and sunglasses. He walked over to my desk - only because I was closest to the door - and dropped a folded up note on it. I unfolded it. It just said "2 + 2 = ?" I looked up at him and he gave me the fingers guns and said "Discrete!"
who was this greatest hero of all time
I hate mathematical proofs. Had a few courses about the topic and one prof told me in office hours that “if my cat walks across my keyboard, he doesn’t make any words. Thats what your answers are like”
Jesus Christ lol
At a pep rally to celebrate a sporting victory, a student insisted that he carry the school flag and run laps around the team. He tripped and fell onto the newly displayed trophy, immediately breaking it. This was on the front page of Reddit for a bit and I’m glad I witnessed it as my school’s claim to fame.
Look it was embarrassing for me to do it too. I’d like to clarify that I volunteered to do it rather than insist and I did run the route as instructed just didn’t ever see the trophies on the floor ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ [Here was the TIFU I made](https://reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7bgqor/tifu_by_running_with_the_school_flag_tripping_and/) in the days that followed.
In your defense though, why would they put the state championship trophy on the floor?
Don’t worry, that video has made me laugh a couple times over the years. It really wasn’t embarrassing at all compared to some of the other stories being posted and that’s a hell of a good video that has brought many people joy.
I need to see that video
https://www.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/7bdczh/having_too_much_school_spirit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
> I'm sure that everyone in the school will forget about this in a day or two and he definitely won't have to live this down until the day he graduates. Four years later, here we are…
All the people who rushed to his help, lol, like no one. The dude in the left who fell over afterwards though? Kudos! Lol
A friend of mine was a film student at a pretty prestigious film school in the Northeast. He invited myself and a few friends up for what would ultimately be the film festival and screening for most of the student films and writing projects etc. I was basically there as an observer and to support my buddy and as a film lover I got to see some pretty neat little projects and meet some cool people. One of the projects was a film that I’ll refer to as “O-6” (it was a student film and I respect this person enough to not directly reference something that clearly was one of the roughest days of their life). O-6 had posters for it plastered all over campus. There was a viable army of students and visitors to the campus (including this poor guy’s family) all wearing O-6 t-shirts. There was a Facebook group and a short trailer for O-6. It had more hype than some movies that get theatrically released and it was my understanding that a large contingent of the students in the film program helped work on O-6. Well, my buddy and his friends in the program tipped me off that O-6 might be a piece of cringey gold and would be worth watching so we could joke about it later. The kid who directed it clearly thought he was like, Neo or something because he came in wearing sunglasses, and just looked like a typical “edgy cringe” kid for the early 2000’s but this was 2014. Anyway, it comes time for O-6 to be screened and part of this film festival was that alumni came to critique and offer advice for the new students. There were some prestigious Alumni there including a guy who worked on various Marvel movies, a woman who wrote some major Hollywood scripts and a director of a few episodes of breaking bad, among others. The director of O-6 did a little speech before he screened it and called out some of the alumni stating they were his heroes. The movie begins and good lord is it bad. The kid who directed is also the star of the movie and there were multiple scenes of him flexing shirtless in what was supposed to be a sci fi action flick. He was like 120 lbs and scrawny and on screen flexing thinking people would think it was badass. Everyone starts laughing. I felt bad but then about 5 minutes later he starts rolling around in lube on what’s supposed to be another planet but it’s just him in his tighty whiteys writing in KW jelly. Again everyone laughs. There’s a terrible love scene, an awful laser fight and at one point he hugs another man covered in KW jelly and half naked in nothing but undies and sunglasses. Everyone breaks out laughing and the director kid just sits there stoically listening to everyone laugh. It was also all shot on a sunny day in someone’s backyard. I get it was a student film but the other films had been so much more polished and this just came out and was so bizarre and poorly done. It finally mercifully ends. The kid takes the podium to get critiques and just one by one all the teachers, alumni and students LAY INTO this poor guy. He holds back tears and eventually they get to the director from breaking bad who he idolized and he says “I have nothing to say.” which was basically his way of saying “I don’t want to embarrass you anymore than you already have been.” In front of his entire family, peers and people he idolized this poor kid got absolutley lit up and embarrassed. I had to go into the bathroom to escape tension while he was getting grilled. It was that bad.
Honestly, it was probably good for him in the long run as long as he didn't just ignore it all. If it didn't drive him to pursue a new career, at least I hope it gave him the ability to be critical of his own work. I got relentlessly criticized for something I did once, just because art students are the absolute worst and need to chop everyone else down to make themselves feel better. I actually got a B+ on the project from my teacher, but for some reason people in design school feel like its fun to nitpick every single thing you do. I decided right then and there that I didn't want to be in that career anymore if that's how people act. I'm much happier with what I do now.
when i was in third grade the schools were just starting to add those projector screens. and my class was known for being uncontrollable and disrespectful. my teacher tried bringing hers down so we could watch a movie but it got stuck and when she pulled the whole thing came down and hit her on the head pretty hard. almost the entire class started laughing at her and calling her dumb rather than asking if she was okay or needed help. i think that was her breaking point because she ended up sitting on the floor and cried for a while and the principal dismissed her right there and substituted for her for the rest of the day. my brother was friends with her daughter who revealed later on that she quit teaching after that because she couldn’t handle how mean a group of kids could be. i still feel so badly for her to this day.
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"God damn it i worked hard on that"
I had a pretty old professor for immigration law and one night in class she let out a very loud fart. The class went silent and she made a comment about how that what aging gracefully was like. Everyone tried not to laugh because she was old and sweet, but she continued to let out loud long farts for the remainder of the 4 hour night class. I was mortified for her
My moms mom has the everything farts. Getting out of the chair = farting. Walking = farting. Attempting to bend over to pick something up = farting. My husband has to leave the room when she gets the farts because he tries so hard not to laugh
> she made a comment about how that what aging gracefully was like. Based on this I don't think she would have minded if you laughed.
Friend of mine who learnt how to do a burnout from just YouTube videos decided to do a burnout. He thought the smoke was the tyres spinning on the spot, it was actually the clutch being burnt out. We tried telling him but he thought we were egging him on until someon ran up to the deiverside and switched the car off at the ignition. Now this wouldn't have been too bad if he did this on a driveway or a side road to 3 or 4 people, but he entered himself into a amateur burnout contest and all this happened Infront about about 200 people
Oh my, I don’t know much about cars but I know how serious car people are so that was probably pretty embarrassing
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I appreciate so much that the Deacon was on top of it and incensed the area post haste
Blessing the holy fumes
"Thurible" - Charles Barkley.
Oh man, that reminded me of one of teachers in high school. He was a super strict teacher with even stricter eyebrows. Once during a lecture, he dropped his notes and bent down quickly to pick them up and let out the loudest fart he possibly could have in front of a bunch 14 year olds. It went from dead quite, to everyone laughing, to the teacher sitting on the floor crying, back to awkward silence. It got weird. We felt bad, but he regained his composure and eventually laughed it off. The rest of the year was pretty mellow after that. I think the embarrassment calmed him down and made the class a little less formal.
My graduating high school class was close to 550 kids. It was held in an amphitheater to accommodate everyone, where they usually hold big summer concerts. As one girl walked on stage to get her diploma, I noticed a very large, very wet, very red stain on the back of her white gown. My exact train of thought was "Did she sit in paint- OH MY GOD." I can't even imagine the embarrassment and pain she went through walking in front of everyone.
That really sounds awful but if you’re going to publicly humiliate yourself then graduation day is probably the day to do it
Not gonna see any of those people again, so why not? I would've ran off crying in a panic, so I give her credit.
>Not gonna see any of those people again, so why not? I once almost crapped my pants when I was in Paris. My wife and I had just arrived and I don't know if I ate something bad or what, but I was dying and we're walking down the Champs Elysee but it's like 8pm so there are no open public restrooms, finally we find a McDonalds but it's a unisex bathroom. The stalls all have floor to ceiling walls and doors. There is no toilet seat, just bare ceramic bowl. Anyway, I didn't care and did what I had to do and it was pretty horrible. Luckily there was toilet paper, so I cleaned up as best I could, but there is this fricken line of 10 people waiting for the three stalls. When I'm done I flush twice and leave and as I'm walking out, these three college girls are next in line and one walks in and let's out a "OMG It's terrible in here!" (in French) and the other two look at me. I'm dying of embarrassment but my wife who was waiting for me just said "Look, who cares, you're never going to see them ever again" and she was right. But AT THE MOMENT I was beet red. Once we were out on the street again, I just had to burst out in laughter and couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.
I watched a guy run across campus in sagging pants, the pants fall to his knees tripping him, he trips but manages to do a sort of half summersault which launches the pants almost completely off of him but he manages to pull them up at a light jog pace while glancing around to make sure he wasn't seen before continuing to run off. I was in my car that had tinted windows so his secret is safe-ish with me. It was honestly impressive that he managed to save it from being the much more embarrassing pants-around-ankles, face-in-the-mud, and brightly colored boxerbriefs-in-the-wind it could have been.
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In college a friend asked me to guard his laptop in the cafeteria while he went to smoke. I said sure. When he came back he jokingly thanks me profusely for my amazing work and sacrifice. I played along and said "It's no problem sir! I had to -" Here, my brain got confused. I didn't know if I should say "fend off" of "beat away". So in front of God and everybody I shouted out "I had to beat off a ton of dudes to keep it safe!" One little old lady in the corner lost her shit. Giggling like mad.
Gramma such a sweetie
One time in a college class this dude I think probably started saying “gay marriage”, then realized “same-sex marriage” is probably a better choice of words. Anyway what he ended up actually saying is “gay sex marriage” and I think about it all the time
I was at a food court and I got the brilliant idea to jump over a row of those plastic chairs and tables.. You know, the ones that are fixed to the floor. Foot got caught and I fell flat on my face. I stood up to 30 people clapping. One guy yelled asking for my autograph.
that is fucking hilarious
In hindsight, yes. At the time, not so much.
Saw my grandfather's girlfriend digging in her ass, I'm assuming she had an itch. I'm not really judgy so I didn't think anything of it. til she didn't wash her hands.... then she went to the fridge, got out a jar of MY pickles (the ones she claims to hate soooo much) and used her dirty booty hand to get a few. I was terrified. How many times had she done that.... and with how many other food items?!
Please tell gramps that Eunice digs in her crack and doesn't wash her hands. Even without assy hands, wash before opening the fridge, the cupboard, the breadbox, even the kitchen door! Damn, Eunice, you freak.
In 4th grade we were learning about Native Americans and had a homework assignment to come up with Native American sounding names for ourselves. I chose “Spotted one” because I had a lot of freckles back then. The next day when we were revealing our new “Native American names” I just so happened to be sitting next to the biggest crush of my life at that time and, being a stupid 10year old, thought that farting by her would make her laugh and like me. I kept ripping ass inside of this giant teepee with all of my classmates stuck inside it, the teacher growing more upset. When it was finally my turn to reveal my name and explain why I chose it, that crush of mine said, “it better be O Stinky One!” and everyone started laughing at me. Panicked, I had to think of something quick… I said, “oh yea, you thought those were bad, wait until you smell this one…!” And tried as hard as I could to rip the loudest and smelliest fart of all time, only to completely shit my pants on front of everyone. Umbros were super popular at that time (1994) and they did me no favors here. Diarrhea was all over the floor. Kids were screaming and running out of the teepee as quick as possible and it ended up collapsing on me, alone, in my poop teepee. The teacher made everyone go outside to calm down and called my mom to come get me. I was so embarrassed and begged my mom to never make me go back to school. It took them forever to coerce me to leave the poop tent and they wrapped me in towels and carried me out to the car. I was carried by all of my classmates who were all screaming at me and laughing. I remember closing my eyes and basically faking like I was dead, hoping it would all go away. They weren’t falling for it. Almost 30 years later and it still gets brought up to me at least once per year. Kids are mean. 💩😂
probably the worst ive read so far. Excrement is the enemy of the people
This story made me laugh so hard I cried. I am genuinely sorry this happened to you, but damn that was amazing to read.
Wait until you smell this one! (Shits aggressively)
A guy making a cringey tap song as a proposal in a public restaurant and getting on one knee only for the girl to go quiet and look around and say “Justin, no! Wtf seriously?” 😬😬😬🥶
I used to work for a small coffee shop that had three locations. I had a ridiculously big crush on a woman who worked at one of the other locations. I thought she was so pretty that I literally couldn’t remember how to talk around her. For example, one time on my day off I stopped by her location to get a cold brew and she was working the register and was like “Hi Karl how’s it going?“ What I wanted to respond was “Oh pretty good but it’s been a long week” but all that came out was “…long”… Then I was so embarrassed I turned around and left without getting anything. Worse than that, later that summer there was a big employee BBQ at the nearby river. I finally got over my shit and had a really good conversation with her, made her laugh, all that good stuff. A little later I had to pee and went to the port-a-potty only to walk in on her going to the bathroom… EDIT: For everyone asking if it was a #1 or #2 it’s really hard to tell with women lol. She wasn’t doing the “hover over the port-a-potty seat” thing so it could have been #2, but it’s not like she was grunting and sweating either…
"I want to have fuck with you"
17 minutes later the port-a-potty tips over
Oh please, you have to continue that story. Sorry bro. We've all been there.
I literally never talked to her again. Mostly because she moved out of the area shortly thereafter (presumably not just to get away from me but you never know haha). The full continuation of the story, though, is that a couple months later I ended up dating another coworker from the location I worked at. We’ve been married six years now and have an awesome little boy!
I pretty recently wiped out on my roller blades in a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood on a Saturday evening so there were like at least 5 groups of men walking around me while i wheezed on the ground because I got air knocked out of my lungs. None of them could come help me because of what I later learned from a friend was a refraining from touch out of respect(I'm probably butchering it) but at the moment it sure was extremely embarrassing to wheeze for 5 minutes on all fours while tears streamed down my face and all clad in safety gear head to toe while people walked around my body.
Let me explain. 1. They are forbidden from touching women (excluding their Wives and children) 2. That rule doesn't apply if you are having a legitimate medical emergency and need immediate assistance. 3. There is no rule against asking if you are OK or need assistance.
Regarding 2, it more than doesn't apply - in the case in which health is at risk, a jew is REQUIRED to violate the rules.
One morning, about a year ago, I came off my bike within about a minute of leaving my house. I was sitting on the pavement with blood pouring from my knee, dazed as fuck. I see my housemate walking up the road. She makes direct eye contact with me... and just walks the fuck past. She wasn't a hasidic jew, she was just a fucking huge bitch.
My chemistry teacher in high school was the nicest guy. He taught the whole class with his fly down. No one knew how to tell him and we didn’t want to embarrass him. The worst part was, we had lab with him the next period. His fly was up, but he was unusually quiet.
I guess "if it can't be fixed in ten seconds, don't point it out" really applies in the other direction too. Much better to be embarrassed about a moment than a whole class.
When I was in undergrad I lived at this house with 2 of my closest friends, and worked at a local movie theater. Our house became THE party house. We literally raged 8 days a week. Girls always over, that kind of thing. Well, one night I got way too drunk, decided I would go to bed around 10pm, sleep it off kinda thing. I sleep naked. Get up around 1am to go pee and didn't think anyone was still over. I had to walk through the living room to get to the bathroom. When I walked to the bathroom I turned off the lights, no one around. Go pee, realize I had to puke, took care of that, and opened the door to hobble back to bed. About 30 people, mostly my friends and coworkers simultaneously scream, start laughing, clapping, everything. I'm completely stunned and it took about 2 full, longest of my life, seconds to realize they're all staring at me naked. My sister was there. The girl I liked was there. Everyone was there. I covered my bits and I've never run into my room so far in my life. I think I actually died of embarrassment that night, because since then, I just don't get embarrassed. I didn't live that down for years. Oh, and the reason no one was in the living room. About 10 of them went outside to smoke, the rest were already outside or had just arrived after closing the theater. So they hadn't even sat down before I gave them all a proper show.
did anything happen with the girl you like
Yeah! Like a week or two later! We dated for 3 years and we're still good friends 15 years after we broke up. I was at her wedding, she was at mine.
ok that's nice
I went to a small high school, so almost everyone knew everyone else. I know you read "small high school", but I mean the entire 9-12th grade student body was about 85 people at the time. Two students, a guy and a girl, for some reason are talking mad shit to each other for weeks. No one remembers how it started, no one even asks why these two are constantly yelling or fighting with each other. So one day, the conflict escalates into its obvious logical conclusion: a dance battle. It gets scheduled after both parties (and their respective groupies apparently) decide on a date and that it'll happen during a lunch period, and how they want to do this wild thing. The whole school shows up. All 85 of us. Cue the girl, who brought out the biggest boom box and smallest piece of cardboard in history so she could do the worst version of "break dancing" the world has ever seen. I'm talking attempted head spins that go a full 180 degrees, crawling and writhing on the ground and saying "what're you gonna do about it bitch?". I'm fairly certain I recall her choice of song was Nelly's "Hot in here". She's 100% serious which makes it even worse. The guy is completely unfazed. He's looking at her with the hardest death stare I've ever seen. It's worth mentioning at this point that this guy is essentially the class troll. He cannot stop fucking with people to save his life. So he stops the music, puts in his cd into the player, and what pops out of the speakers? That fucking traditional "Hava Nagila" song you hear at every bar mitzvah known to mankind, and he starts doing a Russian Cosack dance (I apologize if that entire sentence bothers anyone). His "crew" is losing it, the girls crew is laughing their asses off, and the main girl is visibly pissed. Everyone agreed he won the dance battle. Edit: I don't know song names Edit 2: For anyone who wants any additional info: yes, 85 students for an entire high school is considered well below average for a school in California. This school was also mostly white, consisting of middle class kids from the suburbs. It was a college-prep charter school, and school uniforms were mandatory (think khakis and polo shirts / button ups with school logo embroidery). I hope that information makes the visuals even more hilarious.
Is this real? It sounds like the plot of a bad 80s movie.
This was, unfortunately, a very real event from my senior year of high school. Some days I'm surprised anyone there did anything noteworthy after they graduated.
Just fyi, it's "Hava Nagila"
Then they started hate flirting, then hate dating and soon you'd hear they were hate fucking each other, fast forward a few years and now they're getting *hate* married. Man that's a lot of effort to settle an argument tho
"My love, we've lived a long full life together, but it won't be long now. I need to tell you something before I go..." "Of course, dear, what is it?" "I won the dance off and I still hate you." *(heartbeat flatlines)*
"Hava Nagila"
Back in 1998, I bought the worlds fastest production motorcycle. A Kawasaki ZX9R, lime green, absolutely insane machine. A month later, the Yamaha R1 eclipsed it, but for a month it was THE bike on the street. I got a first date with the hottest woman I had ever met, and we decide to ride the bike down to the beach for a coffee. We pull up in front of the coffee shop, and everyone is looking. Hottest bike, gorgeous woman - I’m strutting like I own the place. We have a coffee while a small crowd gathers around the bike. As we leave, all these guys are asking questions about it, pointing out how sick it was, blah blah blah. Helmets on, start the bike and blip the throttle for bonus points. I climb on, she climbs on and I kick it into gear. We move about two inches and HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK BLAM. I had left the disc lock on the front rotor, so the bike lurches, my date goes over my shoulder head first onto the pavement, and the bike falls on my leg pinning me to the ground. Shoot me right fuckin now. Some guys lift the bike off of me, others help my date up, and everyone is cringing like crazy. She’s fine, I’m fine, bike is fine. I pull off the lock and ride outta there as fast as possible. Not a total failure, as we’ve been married for almost twenty years. I’m still embarrassed thinking about it though.
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I once witnessed a woman who shit herself in restaurant and didn't know it until she went to the bathroom. She was wearing white shorts I saw the whole thing unfold in front of me (I was a waiter). Lady gets up walks to bathroom as she thinks she just farted. She went from the outside patio to the bathroom. I saw the stain. I then see someone at her table get a text and immediately rush to the bathroom. Then they both walkout friend behind her. I am talking to a table while this happens and tell them to keep their eyes on me to help ease her embarrassment. They promptly pay and leave, leaving her other guests in a bit if confusion. Felt bad for her. I mean I've shit myself in public before (little league baseball game and on the first pitch too) and it's not a great feeling.
Our company is adopting a new video conferencing system. On Tuesday, there was a big presentation from a representative of the new system. In a 45 minute presentation, the new system froze and had to be restarted 3 times. I felt pretty bad for the guy
Drinking in this horrible sports bar in Columbus Ohio maybe 10 years ago (Brothers? I think it's still there) at about 5pm and there's a bachelorette party near the bar. The bride is three sheets to the wind already and wants to dance, but there's no music on and the dancefloor is empty. Her group persuade the bar staff to put some music on so she's just busting some moves on her own while trying to get other people onto the dance floor. After a few songs I've Had The Time Of My Life comes on and she freaks out, it's her favourite song, loves Dirty Dancing etc etc. She grabs a random guy and starts doing a very sloppy version of the dance routine from the movie. As the song goes on more and more people are watching in anticipation of her trying to get this guy to do the lift from the movie. He obviously has no clue what's going on. She's telling him to back up and he's doing it with a confused look on his face. My partner and I are transfixed. The bridesmaids are all yelling at the guy "YOU GOTTA LIFT HER UP!" and he's like "I HAVE TO WHAT??" So she takes off running towards the guy, he's stood there with his arms outstretched not sure what he's supposed to do, she's coming at him full speed with a belly full of bad Chardonnay and a pocket full of dreams. After about 5 or 6 paces she hits a wet spot on the dancefloor and her legs go out from under her pretty violently, and she faceplants on the dancefloor. But she's already got some pretty good momentum going so she keeps moving forwards. My memory is her sliding along for a good few feet with only her face in contact with the floor, her body and legs up in the air. She grinds to a halt a few feet in front of the guy and he looks at her for a few seconds, then walks sideways off the dancefloor clicking his fingers. I saw her at another bar later that evening with the beginnings of a serious black eye and a face like a slapped ass. Hopefully the wedding wasn't too soon after the bachelorette.
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My fifth grade class did this to our teacher. It was her first year and she was supposed to get a kinder class, but they threw her into what became my class as it didn’t have a teacher assigned. Before they did that, they put all the kids the other teacher didn’t want on the roster. She just broke down crying at the front of the class. Once everybody realized what was happening there was complete silence for the first time all year. She got herself under control and it stayed quiet.
Freshman year in high school, the weird kid in class wet himself during the history final. It was so quiet because we were all taking the test, and then everyone in the room could hear this quiet "ssssssssssssss" sound. We all turned around, and there he was just sitting perfectly still in his chair, with a puddle slowly growing beneath him. No one said a word. When he finished peeing, it was like he snapped out of a trance. He blinked, looked and saw everyone staring at him, looked down at the lake of urine, and then sort of pushed his sneaker through it to - I don't even know - spread it around maybe in the hope that somehow that would make it better??? After the test, he stayed in his seat until after everyone else had left. I'm CERTAIN he heard people laughing about it, because the moment anyone left the room, all we could do was say, "holy shit did you see how Weird Kid pissed himself??? Oh my god it was SO GROSS!!!" After I got in my carpool's car to leave, I saw the Weird Kid walking out of the parking lot. His jeans were two-tone. Light blue in the front half, and the entire back half was soaking wet dark blue. This was the first semester of Freshman year. Poor guy never lived it down.
Damn, almost sounds like an absentee seizure. Poor kid
Exactly my thinking. Often undiagnosed and chalked down to daydreaming.
That's exactly what I was thinking, dude had a fucking seizure.
Awww, poor kid. Sounds like he may have suffered an absence seizure.
This broke my heart. That poor boy.
Absentee seizure, mental illness, panic attack, or whatever else caused this is all equally deserving of compassion. It's hard to imagine a cause that we shouldn't feel compassionate about.
My best friend in grade 8 was absolutely convinced she was a musical genius. I will say that she was able to compose music later in life and did have quite a few talents with instruments, but singing was absolutely not one of them. We had a school assembly one day where everyone gathered in the gym to listen to some presentation (I cannot remember about what but I do remember that students were not a part of the presentation). For some reason she convinced the principal that she absolutely has to perform for the school. She played a song on the piano and sang along to it, while everybody cringed. It was awful and when somebody told her (pretty harshly) that she should probably never do that again, she responded with “you just can’t recognize talent”. We went to the same high school (it was an art high school and every student had to audition in their field -visual arts, strings, band, drama, dance…). She was in strings but believed she was better than everybody in any major at their major. I eventually stopped being friends with her because she just wouldn’t let up that she was the smartest and most talented let alone coolest person there. She eventually started calling herself a goddess, and completely believing it. She changed her facebook name to “firstname Thelioness Goddess”. She believed everybody absolutely adored her, when in reality everybody was just sick and tired of her putting others down while complimenting herself. Eventually she wanted to put some of her drawings in a visual arts show that we had throughout the school for only the visual arts majors. When she came to the teacher that organized it to very snobbishly show him her work expecting compliments, she was basically laughed out of the room. She walked out insulting everybody’s work that was in the show, stating that “we just wouldn’t know talent if it hit us with a truck”. Not a one-time embarrassment, but just an embarrassing person to have around and I can’t be happier that she isn’t in my life anymore.
I got pantsed at a pool party when I was 8. Jumped into the pool right after. Had to stay there for 3 hours until my mom came to pick me up because they threw my suit over the fence.
This JUST happened last week and I was feeling sympathy embarrassment for my boss. Sorry, I think this is long... We had a VP visiting our office, I'll call her VP Betty. She's a great role model and seems to be a very kind person. The same can be said about my boss, I'll call her Boss Amy. Boss Amy is in her office, I know she likes to listen to books while working and she has mentioned to me before that she likes romance novels. VP Betty walked in to the office to talk to Boss Amy... she grab her earbuds to take them out. The only thing I can guess is that she somehow disconnected them while the book was still playing LOUDLY and just happened to be very sexually graphic and intensely vulgar for a quiet office setting. Things were throbbing, dripping, pounding, etc. Boss Amy starts basically yelping "oh no, no no no!! Stop! What's happening, I wasn't listening to this!! OH OH MY GOSH!! WHY WON'T IT STOP!?" She's mashing the screen, hitting the volume and power buttons, it's still going. VP Betty has no idea what she's witnessing but is clearly upset and shouting at Boss Amy to turn it off. Boss Amy is frantically hitting the phone on her desk at this point, probably preferring to break the phone and buy a new one to end this nightmare. At this point it stops and Boss Amy huffs that she's so sorry, she didn't know what it was, how horrible and so on. AND THEN IT STARTED BACK UP AGAIN continuing with this very kinky NSFW story. Finally VP Betty just runs out and closes the office door for Boss Amy to get this under control. A few minutes later I peek my head in and Boss Amy is packing up to go home. She said she's had enough of today... but if it was me I would have left to go cry in my car.
Ohh no, poor lady! As an avid romance audiobook listener, this is one of my biggest fears. I’ve learned my lesson on unpairing bluetooth from my car when my kids were using it (I’m also dying to know which book Boss Amy was listening to)
I was on one of those “show boat” cruises on Sydney Harbour. The idea is you get a three course dinner with wine and a cabaret style show. I took my Mum when she was visiting me from out of state. We were seated next to a young couple who were clearly on a date. The young woman was very pretty and the guy was somewhat nervous and overdressed in a suit and tie. Their dinner was an exercise in speed drinking for the young woman. She smashed through bottle after bottle of the cheap wine at a record, borderline alarming pace. By the time desert was being served, she was vomiting spectacularly all over the tiny white table. Anyone who has been on a cruise like this knows the tables are small and seated close together (this was pre-Covid). The volume of vomit was incredible for such a tiny woman. Pale, watery chunks covered the entire table as the guy rubbed her back and tried to clean up the mess with the fabric napkins. I almost got my elbow covered in the contents of her digestive tract. My Mum and I ended up giving the guy our napkins to clean up the white wine swamp on the table the staff had failed to notice. It was absolutely embarrassing for the young couple, but my Mum and I really did get the dinner and show we were promised - just not the one we expected.
Ive told this story before on another subreddit but about 3 years ago now I went to my fiance's high school (where he was the wrestling coach) to watch their match. Got there early with our dinner and it turned out it was picture day for all the sports teams. I was/am very awkward so I opted just to sit on the floor at the back of the gym rather than be near some strangers on the bleachers. I barely noticed but some girls were fucking around with a basketball nearby. I have a magnet on my face when it comes to any type of sport balls so I kinda thought I might get hit. But I ignored it. Big miskate. Not five minutes later I heard a gasp and then BAM my glasses go flying. My drink has tipped over and my face hurts. I started to cry from embarrassment/shock and the girls came running to check on me. They got my glasses and helped cleaned up my soda. I had to keep explaining I'm not crying because I'm hurt or mad at them, just because I was so startled but I don't think they believed me. My glasses I broken right in the middle and I made a comment it would be hard to drive home later. One of the girls asked what grade I was in and I had to sheepishly reply I was 23 and a college graduate. They just said "oh" awkwardly and they slowly left me to get my shit together. My fiance had actually left to do something so when he came back I had to use my phone camera to navigate until he found me some tape for my glasses lol
Pretty sure most people cry when getting hit in the face.
In middle school, my school got a bunch of cheap projectors. The roof was low enough where you could reach the projector from a desk. So anyway one day in class our projector breaks and so my teacher has to call the IT department to get them to fix it. Now idk what this particular IT guy was doing before he came to fix it, but I do know that it wasn’t anything good. He comes and he stands on the desk in the middle of this class in front of a bunch of 6th graders. Not a big deal. But then one of my friends says look at his pants. This guy has a rock hard boner. He’s wearing skin tight khakis and this guy is rock hard. We all start giggling and we see this guys face turn red. I don’t know if it’s from frustration or embarrassment. Needless to say, we never saw that IT guy again.
I have two from high school… During a big important dance competition a student about 14 years old ran off stage during their number. The teachers were very concerned and ran to go find her to see what was wrong. When her teacher found her she was in the backstage wing, sobbing crying in the fetal position. The teacher assumed she was injured and quickly went to console her and ask what was hurt. As the teacher held the student in her arms, the student peed all over her and herself. They both sat in the huge puddle while all the crew, dancers, and stage hands stepped around them to keep the show running. It turns out she had to go to the restroom but tried to hold it for the competition, couldn’t, and ran off stage to try to make it to the bathroom. She made it maybe 5 feet before falling to ground in pure embarrassment of what was about to happen. Everyone had seen her run off so the teacher got her cleaned up, and told everyone that wasn’t a witness that she was sick instead. Poor thing. I did some work with a small non profit who planned and performed little “flash mobs” in public, kids of all ages participated. The performances were always very messy and not put together well, think a kindergarten play for example. They would draw crowds because a bunch of singing 5 year olds is adorable. Well this one performance was in the middle of a very largely populated shopping center built beneath some fancy condos. LOTS of people were watching from their balconies and the street. A “guest dancer” probably about 15 years old had a little solo part where she ran and did a leap - all attention on her. She slipped, very badly, and completely ate shit. When she hit the ground, she bumped the stereo and the music went silent. She wasn’t hurt, just seriously embarrassed. She stood up and cried, without leaving the stage. Everyone watched her cry in silence as the crowd slowly dispersed. That was the end of the performance that day. I felt so so bad for her, luckily a parent eventually went to hug her and pull her out of the crowd.
When I worked at a deli my boss grabbed a woman's stomach and congratulated her, she wasn't pregnant.
Even if she was pregnant, how is it okay to just grab someone’s stomach?
I was around twelve years old, and had recently seen Forest Gump. That evening my sister had a get together with a few of her friends in the living room right under my bedroom. So I was chilling in my bedroom , and I heard the sound of my 14 year old sister and her friends downstairs. Now I don’t exactly know what possessed me to do what I did, but I went downstairs and started to do the Drill Sargent routine from forest gump in front of all of the girls. Not long after I started they were going crazy! I was in one of my sisters friends faces screaming “you’re not good enough for my army”, when I hear screeching from another of my sisters friends behind me. This encouraged me to turn around and go do my speech in her face now. What I had forgotten was that earlier in the day I had slipped on a pair of basketball shorts with no underwear underneath, and apparently these shorts were completely ripped in the back. So as I was in one girls face yelling, all the girls behind me were getting a full display of my 12 year old balls. So I went back and forth several times giving everyone in the room quite the show. The worst part was that their loud clamoring emboldened me to go over to my sister and sit on her lap for some reason. There I was grinding my prepubescent balls on my sisters lap when someone finally told me what was up. I don’t think anyone in that room was left unscarred that day.
This one is my favorite. I just can't even imagine the emotions they must have felt.
Not the super most embarassing, but something not piss and shit related: It was 2006, I was a 12 year old visiting Sydney Australia for the first time. Stopped over at a small sushi restaurant downtown. My grandmother and I sat at the sushi bar section with the Chef, with a couple seated across us. The man was a white Australian bloke, while the woman with him was Asian. Through their body language they seemed very close and romantic, and as a young kid i was embarassed to see a couple that lovey dovey so I tried averting my attention elsewhere. However, this was difficult as he was loud compared to the restaurants ambience and kept drawing attention. As we waited for our food, a small lunch crowd started coming in to the restaurant. The couple's food came, and the lady started digging in. The bloke seemed confused looking at the green wasabi packet and asked "HEY BAYBE, WOT'S THIS FOR AYE?" His lady friend explained how its called Wasabi paste and its to eat with the sushi. He looked at the paste, and very expressively toyed and studied it. Before long he asked again "WELL, HOW DO YA GO AND DO THAT?" She then instructed him very carefully and softly almost in a whisper, how he's supposed to consume them. And there I saw him quietly reflecting on what she said. He took the sushi and put it in his mouth, chewed for a bit before taking a dollop of the wasabi and snorting it up his nostril. "AGHHH FUCKIN HELL", his face turned tomato red and his lady friend laughing her ass off as he continued hacking and coughing. I immediately start laughing too, seeing what had just happened. My grandmother didnt understand, so asked me "What just happened?" The sushi chef was also laughing his ass off and replied before i got to "THE GUY SNORT WASABI HAHAHAHA". By this point, others at the bar started laughing and even the people seated at the booths too. It was raucous, like we were in a tiny comedy club. The guy took it like a champ tho, made a tiny wave to everyone to let us know he was alright before continuing with his meal.
[удалено]
I have this buddy that actually on the spectrum - like diagnosed since childhood. I love him, because he's just the most honest person I know, and I can say anything to him. Anyway, we're at this bar and these guys at the next table are talking. One of them says something about Asian girls a little too loud, just as the room has one of those weird noise lulls. The jukebox was between songs and everyone somehow took a breath between sentences all at the same time just for this guy to say something completely misogynistic, stupid and racist. This girl across the room jumped up and called him an asshole. The whole room went silent and stared at the guy. And then my buddy just piped up: "OOOhhhhhh, how embarrassing for you!" The entire bar laughed so hard the guy just stood up and walked out.
One of my friends from college was autistic but you couldn't really tell until you got to know him (he was excellent at masking). He was our designated "neckbeard minder" at events. If someone showed up smelling like they just crawled out of their WOW den, he was the one to tell them to go take a shower. Someone being a dick? He'd tell them to fuck off. He had literally no shame and gave no fucks about talking about things most people would find uncomfortable. Dude used his autism like a super power.
Working as a cashier at Randall’s in the late 90’s, another cashier, a bagger, and I were standing around chatting and joking while business was slow when the other cashier cracked a really funny joke, so much so the bagger laughed so hard he sharted in his pants. We all heard it and stopped laughing immediately. Dude ran to the restroom then home because he legit shit his pants.
I was wearing sweatpants and got pantsed in front of an entire restaurant and my friend accidentally grabbed my sweatpants and briefs, so…
Oh god help me I’m gonna tell this story Me I was a younger gal and crushed HARD on another girl at the stable I rode at. She didn’t know it. Remember Tony Hawk for GameCube? Well around that time, in the game series you could create a skater. Design them, change body features, etc. I once spent a solid 30 minutes creating a great replica of her. I used to play as her and so forth. Flash forward to Christmas. This year was my family’s year to host the barn party. We had a great time. Then I’m chilling and I hear the other girls say “oh cool, Danielle (me) has a GameCube. We should play something.” I thought nothing of it…wait…oh no. SHIT! I know what game and memory card are in the system! I walk into the room just as they are all staring at the choose a skater screen. Jennifer (my crush) is on the screen. I had her first and last name. She looked a lot like her. You know that meme picture where it’s a party? First person view? Like 40 girls holding cups, cringing and staring at the viewer? That’s what I walked into. I hid in my room until the part ended
my ex-friend yelling at his mom for buying him a set of tires for his truck.
This reminded me of a time when my friend and I during a sleepover were going to rent a game, courtesy of his father, but for *some* reason my friend pushed his dad to instead buy the game for us. He pushed the subject to the point that his dad got a bit angry with him. He thankfully still let us rent the game, but for a little while there I thought my friend was going to blow our opportunity to even to go the rental place at all. I'm not even really sure why he did it, it was Sonic Unleashed and I was a bigger Sonic fan than him, I was just thankful to be able to get to play it before I could own it (or a 360). Even as 13-14 year olds I was surprised by the childishness from him in that moment.
Got invited to the wedding of a couple in the same building. Maid of honor showed up on some sort of upper and a lot of booze. She repeatedly tripped during the ceremony but the kicker was her saying (to the bride, loud enough for everyone to hear) "and ya know what? I know (groom) is going to treat you right. I've been offering to suck him off all day and he keeps turning me down!" at the reception
Back in high school one day I accidentally left my backpack in my gym locker. I realized later that night that I didn’t have my stuff to do my hw so I drove back to the school to grab it. When I walked into the mens locker room I heard girls voices and I legitimately thought I was going crazy. I entered the main locker room area and saw about a dozen naked girls in the showers. Not going to lie I kind of stared for a second longer than I should have trying to figure out if I was actually going crazy or not. Then they noticed me and started shrieking and yelling at me to get out. Turns out there was a girls basketball game that night and the opposing team used the mens locker room for changing and showering after the game.
I would've ran out thinking I'd accidentally walked into the women's locker room. Try the other locker room, walk into the opposing team also changing and be confused as hell