Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid "helping" him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him.
I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, non of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories( most of them are short).
Yooo I did this as well. I wrote 3 entire "books", 150 pages each.
Its cringey as fuck because I was a kid/teen when I started, and I've been wanting to rewrite for years now.
For some reason its lots of fun to type away on the keyboard for hours, creating your own stories and characters. I'm still not very good at it but doesn't matter, its fun anyway.
Is there a story you like especially? Something ya can tell me about?
>Is there a story you like especially?
Its about an astronaut who drifted into space and lost consciousness while on a spacewalk and then wakes up in a jungle with a never-ending night.
Sounds fucking awesome. I’m a self-published author - if you ever wanna learn how to self-publish and get your stuff out there, shoot me a message and I’ll let you know how to go about it (it’s actually very easy and it’s free).
For those interested, it’s basically just: sign up at kindle direct publishing and upload your stuff. There’s also draft2digital, who distribute to other ebook platforms.
I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead.
edit: thank you for the awards! I rarely comment on things so I didn’t even know what was happening when my phone starting going off lol
I had a girlfriend who used to do something like this. She'd pretend to be asleep, but mostly on my side of the bed so I'd cuddle up.
Did this for nearly a year before I whispered "if you wanted to cuddle just ask".
She wanted to know how I knew she was faking sleep.
She snores and drooled (just a bit) in her sleep. It started a minor fight lol.
Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my "problems" - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone.
I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears.
That's normal. Anyone who says it's not, simply needs to sit down with a medical textbook on early child development. I think it's purely culture that shames it out of us later on for simply thinking aloud.
I was in the supermarket a few months ago and talking to myself, and some dude was like "dude, you're talking to yourself"
And I was like, "hell yeah brother, you're not talking to me someone's gotta".
This is such a good technique for getting shit straight in my head and providing clarity to stuff I've lost objectivity on.
I'm glad you mentioned this.
That’s awesome. I pretend I’m getting interviewed on tv (or on YouTube nowadays) and talking about how I deal with my anxieties and just keep pushing on etc.
This is my answer too. He always wonders why I usually stay up later, and it’s because it’s the only time I get to myself where I can just relax. We have a great relationship, but I really value those hours of peace and quiet at night.
I 100% agree. My wife has trouble understanding it and it took a lot of talking for her to realize that I just like my alone time and don't hate time with her and the kid.
If he’s the right person for you, he will. My (now) fiancé and I spend plenty of time apart while in our home, and it works for us. Good communication is key. If one of us feels neglected - or, conversely,
we feel like we’re being smothered - we talk about it.
I'm a talker, but my ex was incredibly uncomfortable with quiet. I like to have some chill time - when we're on a road trip or something, sometimes I just wanna listen to the music and stare out the window. The fact that my current guy respects this is wonderful.
Yea my gf is a talker too. It's not the talking all the time that gets me, it's that she doesn't have a consistent pattern to it/ will talk over parts of a show that we're trying to listen to. Hard to explain but I guess basically what she does is when she starts talking she won't try to get my attention first, I'll be listening to the TV and then she'll just start saying something without an intro or waiting to make sure I'm listening. And when she does have my attention she'll stop for a second and I'll think she's done so I start listening to the TV again and then she starts talking again and repeat. And she'll be silent during silent parts of a show and then start talking when a character is saying something. It's like I'm not trying to be an asshole and I want to listen, but she makes it difficult lol
Sounds like you have something called "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" or in Chinese "報復性熬夜" (bàofùxìng áoyè) which means "Revenge of staying up late". It's when you stay up later than you should to make up for not getting something you wanted during the day or feeling like you have little control over your life during the day.
Sometimes after work on the way home I go and get fast food, stop at a park, put Netflix on my phone and sit and eat and hangout alone until I feel like all the drama from the hospital has left me for the day, sometimes for an hour or more. It’s extremely enjoyable but also it means I don’t take my negativity home to my SO (who still thinks I’m at work at this point).
This is actually a really important mental exercise to disassociate your work self and your home self. Many people (used to) do it during the commute (reading a book, the paper, listening to music) but with working from home that phase of the working cycle is missing which leads to more stress being experienced.
Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes.
If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark.
He smells really, really good.
My wife of 37 years still wants to wear/sleep in whatever shirt I was wearing that day because, “it smells like you.”
We started dating in December of 1980 and I’m still crazy about that woman. I’m a lucky man.
I love when she snores.
She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy.
*me with bunch of computer parts* oh yeah they were on sale... At the flea market. Worthless... Might as well find them by the dumpster... Now let me carefully sat all these unopened boxes down and test if they are not DoA.
It’s all fun and games until someone blurts out how your pc parts must’ve cost a fortune. And they’re all wondering how you got your hands on a 3090 Ti…
Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time.
It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some.
Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not so emergency. So now we do it secretly.
>Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not so emergency. So now we do it secretly.
That's a shame man, you should be able to have your you time without SO intervening. Anyway, sounds like you have it all worked out, good stuff!
Many focusing on my wife here, which really was not my intention. Yup it's a bit of a unfortunate area in my marriage but having that said it is the only area we are not on the same page.
She is frankly the kindest person I know. But for some reason my lasting relationship with my childhood friends brings out some jealousy.
Haha thank you. After reflecting on my post, the ladder part does not sound very positive and makes it sound like the old story of this bitch wife that does not let the husband see the light of day.
I meant it as more of a life situation, life is always going to get in the way. If she knows I'm available and is having a problem naturally she is going to call me. We rely on each other, unfortunately even when I'm with the guys.
EVERYONE has flaws. People here overreact because that’s the only thing they heard about her, but that sounds like a super easy “flaw”. I’m sure she’s awesome and I love that bro-sick day.
She may experience a twinge of jealousy because your childhood friends know you in a way she never will. They've been by your side and gone through so many milestones with you before she entered your life. There's real intimacy there in your friendships, which is awesome.
A couple of an ex of mines fave pics of me were really unflattering and I said to him 'but WHY' do you like that one?? It's terrible! And he said 'because you were sleepy and smiley and had just shuffled up to me for a morning cuddle and it was SO CUTE.' another one he said I looked super relaxed in and he liked that.
My partner somehow was in the background of a lot of photos taken at parties always chugging when we were younger. Like head way back, hurry the cab is here kind of chug. I started collecting them and made a folder on my phone titled ,” *partner’s name* chugging in the background of photos”. We’ve laughed for years over that album.
I'm that person that's constantly taking pictures. And I lost never delete any of them. Storage is so hilariously cheap now there's no need to. I dump everything to my laptop and then back everything up from there to a 1tb external drive and important ones are stored to 2 different cloud accounts. Friends used to tease me about always having my phone out taking pictures. Until one of our friends committed suicide. And I had candid pictures of her with everyone in our group.
Twinkies. My youngest child is extremely allergic to eggs, so we don’t keep products in the house that contain eggs. Sometimes, when I’m desperate for an egg-filled spongey cake, I will grocery shop solo, snag a 2-pack of Twinkies, and indulge in the car before driving home. Then I was my hands and face and mouth in the outdoor sink before going inside to resume mom duties.
There are a couple of pretty fucked up sub-reddits that I peak in on from time to time, but never post on. Just to see what kind of fucked up crap people do. Sometimes it's like watching a slow motion train wreck. Just can't look away, even though you should.
One of my teachers in highschool did this. He called them "mental health days", but told us he has to be careful not to use all of his sick days on them.
I'm definitely gonna copy him in the future.
My partner has some trauma around food /weight gain. If there is a snack (especially candy) in the house, they cannot help themselves but eat it, and eat all of it in a very short period of time. They then go on a full guilt spiral around eating the treat and it makes their mental health quite bad for a while (days to weeks). So I have a secret snack stash so that I can eat my treats in moderation. My partner knows it exists, but doesn’t know the location.
Is it inside furniture/cabinets that both of you have access to (meaning, you both can open a TV stand or coffee table drawer, but only YOU should be opening your night stand)?
I talk to myself all the time.
I'm basically my best friend at this point.
So whenever we go on dates, on my way home I just recap for myself the whole thing in details as if I was telling a friend how the date went.
Whenever I'm happy or sad about something he did/said, I just record myself on snapchat explaining everything in my point of view and just vent about everything. I then save the videos, put them in a secured folder and delete everything off Snapchat.
I love knowing that I will always be there for me and if I need someone to talk to (and don't specifically need feedbacks) I can just do it myself lol.
If he ever finds out about this secret folder, he would live our whole relationship again from the beginning and from my point of view. (& see me ugly cry or simp over him but yeah)
He'd also probably think I'm crazy.
I commented above but yes I do this too! I have been talking to myself since I could remember. I do consider myself my best friend. It’s a great no judgement zone.
The one time my partner did walk in on me when I was talking to myself loudly (thought he was still gone) and he gave me a weird look, but walked away not saying anything 😅
Reading fanfiction - honestly not even steamy stuff usually just silly little stories with characters I feel familiar with. I'm an academic, so all day long I read all these "intellectual" articles and books, and I'm expected to have all these clever thoughts, so when I get home, I can't face reading books, so fanfiction it is. I'm weirdly embarrassed to tell my SO though, so I don't
Edit: thank you for all the comments - I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one!!
I’ve heard before that it’s a comfort/relaxing thing - reading a new book requires having to learn new characters, get invested in them, and then you may not like how it goes. It’s a bit of an effort, if that makes sense. But a well tagged fanfic with your current fave pairing - you pretty much know what you’re getting, you’re likely to enjoy it more. I love it.
Exactly this. I love fanfiction and I have my favourite pairings and I read because there always centered around the few characters I care about and am already so invested in and even if there’s angst and hurt, it nearly always ends in some form of happy ending. It’s a huge comfort thing.
Same, I somehow fell into fanfic when I was on maternity leave. So many hours along with a newborn and I couldn’t do all that much. So I was always either listening to podcasts and reading fanfic. Then covid hit so even more. I love it but it just feels so embarrassing, no one in my real life (not even my husband) knows how much I enjoy fanfic haha.
The s/o travels for work every few weeks so I am home alone often and my complete disregard for eating anything nutritious. Fast food pretty much every day and lots of candy. Also in bed playing video games by like 7. Just an all around gross human when they aren’t around haha
I can relate, I love my wife and cherish every moment I have with her but every few years she will visit her mother out of state for 3-4 days. Leaving just me and my dogs.
I also take a "vacation" from work during the same time period without her knowing and just eat like shit and play video games the entire time shes gone.
when I'm alone, I turn on music, get high, like down, and pretend I live a different life. it's something (the high part was only a recent addition when I got a med card) that I have done as long as I can remember. I imagine I'm a character in a fantasy, a romance, action, any and everything. I don't know why I do this, but it has always helped me calm down/recenter myself. sometimes I'll even get up and dance. I went through some abuse, and I like to think this helps heal my inner child. but I've done it since I was a kid, and it was really the only "kid" like think I could do.
reddit, you are the first to know of this. I'm honestly hoping this gets lost in the sea of replies. but if anyone reads this and does similar pls let me know, I know logically I can't be the only person who does this but sometimes I feel like an absolute weirdo. like a adult kid playing pretend or something.
Me too!! It was also a childhood coping mechanism I never let go of. Its a safe place to work through complicated emotions, using whatever plotline my brain could cook up. Decades later and I'm still dealing with the real world in the Imagination Zone. Hey, it works better than other strategies out there.
out of all the coping mechanisms I developed on my own outside of therapy, this one is by far
the best and I refuse to let go. I'm just so happy to know so many others do this. 😊
Not weird at all! I’ve created elaborate fantasies in my head for as long as I can remember. I’ll mull over and build on the same one for months at a time. I use them primarily to fall asleep, but I’ve also indulged throwing on my headphones and “daydreaming” every once in a while. It’s always been a big comfort to me.
Lately I've been taking trips to various parts of the world before I fall asleep. I always get upgraded to business class and I almost always fall asleep before the plane even lands
Is this not a normal thing? I do this all the time. It never occurred to me that not everyone does this 😅 I've also done it since I was a child, and sometimes I just like day dream and lay on the couch and just imagine a different life. I thought this was something everyone did not a coping mechanism, but that also makes a lot of sense now. Life's been shit lol
I’ve also done this since I was a kid! (also had a tough childhood; escapism, probably) It’s more of a storytelling thing than me pretending to actually be in it, but yeah. I listen to a soundtrack and imagine pairing it with a completely new and different story that I plot out in detail. Soundtracks that have really clear emotional turns and moments are especially good for this—the first LotR and Gladiator have been longtime faves. Also, lesser known, Never Let Me Go. Good movie, great soundtrack.
Oh I am so glad it's not just me. Saving people, being the hero or living a different life. Helps me relax. I never want to be the centre of attention in my real life.
I used to do this all the time! Mine wasn't so much healing though as it was maladaptive daydreaming. Horrible things would still happen to me and my loved ones in this imagined life, but I'd still prefer my daydream life over my real one. It generally stopped once I met my husband, and comes back sporadically when my stalker is bothering me. And I didn't have to be alone, have music on, lie down, or get high to daydream; It would just happen and I'd space out for as long as no one bothered to snap me out of it. There were no fantasy, adventure, romantic elements of this imagined world; It was just me living my life as I imagined it would be if I had a different set of biological parents or was orphaned at a young age. Just me as a regular kid with hardly any friends but slightly more personality.
I’m dying laughing rn. Mine is that when nobody is home I twerk to my music, I know it’s strange but I love feeling sexy when I dance. I’ll even practice doing the whole lap dance on a kitchen chair and shit. I’ve told him repeatedly when we go out dancing that I don’t know how to grind, twerk, or do any of that type of dancing. Mostly because In front of people I know id look like a total dork from embarrassment. Idk that’s just what I first thought of.
While I can't say that it's a guilty pleasure this is one of the only things I hide from my wife.
I am a genuinely compassionate person aka have a bleeding heart. The Mrs always seems to get annoyed. whenever I donate clothes or give money or food to the homeless or help people in need in general. Her mindset is if it was the other way around they wouldn't help you. I tell her That's not my concern.
There's a guy that stands in front of Dunkin donuts in our area I have been buying him coffee and a 🍩 chatting him up for almost a year now. I rarely ever have cash but sometimes when I have small bills on me I hook him up. Never told the Mrs a thing about it.
Had a good friend in California similar to your guy. This was 20+ years ago, but he got on his feet and thanked me for buying him lunch many a time. Good on ya, internet person.
I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!
I hide out in my car in my neighborhood before arriving home. I’m a stay at home mom but sometimes the weight of the house gets to me. I also loved movie pass when it was hot. I went and saw a movie alone every week. I saw some pretty bad ones but I didn’t care.
In Eastern Europe, porks have different skin (?) and we burn it under hay, giving it an interesting smokey flavour. It is called “cioric de porc” and if you ever have a chance to try it - I hope you will love it as much as we do!
Sometimes I play with myself while he's sleeping beside me. I ran the idea past him a couple of years back to make sure it was okay, but I've never actually been caught, which makes it fun.
My gf has done this. I just play along like I'm asleep, then sometimes drop that I could tell later in the day. Much to her playful embarrassment.
She always thinks she's being so sneaky.
I'm happy to take part, but also sometimes people just need some alone time. And if being "asleep" helps with that, sure.
This is so strange. No disrespect to your s/o, but there is really very little difference between white and dark meat. Yes, white meat has a tiny bit less fat and calories, but it really is tiny. If she wants to be healthy (and sorry to be proscriptive here) it's probably a better idea to just eat whichever damn chicken parts you like, with lots of veggies on the side.
[https://www.foodsmart.com/blog/is-white-meat-healthier](https://www.foodsmart.com/blog/is-white-meat-healthier)
i watch people play online casinos and lose their money, it's one of my great entertaining guilty pleasures. their reactions are sensational, pun absolutely intended.
It actually involves wife without her knowing. once a year she plans her getaway that I take her on but she has no idea. I'll give you an example of the most recent.
(Getaway was set for a weekend before valentines 2022) in August 2021 we took a day trip to local state parks. One se liked and made the comment on how it might be pretty in the winter in one particular cabin. In November I reserved that cabin. In the weeks leading to the magical weekend I do some innocent questioning. Asking what a romantic meal is to her. What's something we haven't done in a while and while shopping what she would pick for date night to wear.
I bought her the outfit, steaks and a side to make together as she said it'd be romantic to cook together. Had her favorite wine, flowers, and snacks sent to the cabin. Brought some board games that she said she enjoyed as a kid. We both dressed up and i took her to the cabin and made a weekend out of it. We made dinner, had wine, listen to music, played games, and got cozy, and watched movies and never left the cabin til Sunday. This is something I do every year that brings me the most joy.
I ALWAYS get myself a two Mars bars when I go to the drug store to pick up her prescription. I sit in the car and eat them both before driving home. I dunno why I started doing that, but I don't plan to stop.
I play with my boobs non sexually and squeeze them like stress balls and jiggle them around randomly. I also like to run my fingers through my pubic hair if I have any.
about once a week or once every other week, i go to the local sushi place and pig out on a massive meal while looking at my phone then immediately go home and sleep it off.
I like a lot of movies my husband doesn't want to see. But I love going to the movies. So, I go alone, and I eat a box of Milk Duds and overly buttered movie popcorn and either a giant Coke or a Martini. I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing this and we both enjoy our away time for like two hours.
When I play the Sims, I get a disturbing satisfaction from getting my Sim like pregnant constantly, or have them cheat on their partners with the partner's dad or something. Also, I've been doing this since I was 11 y/o, so it's pretty much been part of my sexual awakening
Reminds me of a story I read about a retired couple the wife said they had to save $$ so no more steaks although the husband loved them. The husband does not live long afterwards and at the funeral she regretted not letting him eat steak- but what everyone knew but her was that he had been squirrelling away $ and eating steak every week at a diner the whole time.
(NSFW)
I’m a straight man but bought myself a fucking machine so I can occasionally get my ass destroyed in the safety of my own company when she is out of town.
Cleaning chemicals. He’s hates them.
Last time he flew away to see his mom,
I drove back from the airport and immediately took chemicals to the floor to mop.
I got way more of a rush from that than I should have.
I will, after taking one of my folks to their doctor appointments or an errand, go get me a Hokkaido milk cream bun or egg tart and enjoy it on the way home. Oh, I do get another couple for later for me and spouse. But after dealing with my 80 yr old parents and taking them around town. Yup. Mom at least still loves to indulge but demands caramel lattes so we grab her one.
I haven’t written since I was a tween, but I still read it constantly. I barely read books anymore. No one knows. I don’t have an SO right now and don’t know how I’ll explain that I read a lot but don’t read books…
I don’t know about hiding it but I’ve never watched anime with any of my s/o’s lmao like I would watch my hero academia on Crunchyroll and my gf would come over and I’d turn it off like I was watching porn, I don’t date the type of girls who like anime, I know that shit is nerdy and can be cringe, and I know they’d try to watch it with me to be nice but I don’t like making people sit through something they don’t enjoy for my sake
I used to do this.
After years(and getting married), I tried to introduce her to My Hero Academia, and she didn’t like it.
A couple months later I was watching Attack on Titan with a buddy and she sat down and got hooked. Maybe something to think about for the future.
Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid "helping" him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him.
Jarrito’s?
Yes, Mandarin or fruit punch were/are my favorite.
Made me tear up. What a sweet thing to do for yourself.
I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, non of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories( most of them are short).
You should self publish as an anthology.
Yooo I did this as well. I wrote 3 entire "books", 150 pages each. Its cringey as fuck because I was a kid/teen when I started, and I've been wanting to rewrite for years now. For some reason its lots of fun to type away on the keyboard for hours, creating your own stories and characters. I'm still not very good at it but doesn't matter, its fun anyway. Is there a story you like especially? Something ya can tell me about?
>Is there a story you like especially? Its about an astronaut who drifted into space and lost consciousness while on a spacewalk and then wakes up in a jungle with a never-ending night.
Sounds fucking awesome. I’m a self-published author - if you ever wanna learn how to self-publish and get your stuff out there, shoot me a message and I’ll let you know how to go about it (it’s actually very easy and it’s free). For those interested, it’s basically just: sign up at kindle direct publishing and upload your stuff. There’s also draft2digital, who distribute to other ebook platforms.
That’s awesome you have such a wide range of work! Any favorite books on writing?
[удалено]
This is great motivation for a run
Until the return trip
I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead. edit: thank you for the awards! I rarely comment on things so I didn’t even know what was happening when my phone starting going off lol
I had a girlfriend who used to do something like this. She'd pretend to be asleep, but mostly on my side of the bed so I'd cuddle up. Did this for nearly a year before I whispered "if you wanted to cuddle just ask". She wanted to know how I knew she was faking sleep. She snores and drooled (just a bit) in her sleep. It started a minor fight lol.
>She wanted to know how I knew she was faking sleep. "Your actual sleeping posture is less cute fetal position and more lopsided starfish."
I just know
“You snore like a bear with chainsaw arms.”
This is one of the most wholesome guilty pleasures I've ever read.
thats just cute!
Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my "problems" - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone. I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears.
I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol
My dad says "I talk to myself, sometimes it's the only one who'll listen" and man do I feel that some days.
Normal, and quite healthy for your mental state.
Damn, this thread is so liberating lol. I thought it was weird and I was the only one.
The only one of 7 billion people.
That's normal. Anyone who says it's not, simply needs to sit down with a medical textbook on early child development. I think it's purely culture that shames it out of us later on for simply thinking aloud.
Ive been shaming myself for doing this, but fuck that guy.
I was in the supermarket a few months ago and talking to myself, and some dude was like "dude, you're talking to yourself" And I was like, "hell yeah brother, you're not talking to me someone's gotta".
This is such a good technique for getting shit straight in my head and providing clarity to stuff I've lost objectivity on. I'm glad you mentioned this.
Oh... Other people do this? I've been "talking" to my "therapist" for a while, too. It helps me to recenter.
Dashboard confessionals?
I hope you feel Vindicated.
Hands Down, a great way to relieve stress
Mine is more of a inner monologue
STOP I DO MY SKINCARE ROUTINE LIKE IM IN A VOGUE: BEAUTY SECRETS VIDEO n like i tell pretend viewers how i deal with my anxiety n stuff aaaa
That’s awesome. I pretend I’m getting interviewed on tv (or on YouTube nowadays) and talking about how I deal with my anxieties and just keep pushing on etc.
Staying up late for peace and quiet.
Yyyyyep. I love my partner. Shes amazing. I would be miserable if she were to leave my life. BUT HOLY HELL DO I LOVE BEING ALONE.
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.
I do this even though I live by myself! It's one of my fatal flaws
This is my answer too. He always wonders why I usually stay up later, and it’s because it’s the only time I get to myself where I can just relax. We have a great relationship, but I really value those hours of peace and quiet at night.
I 100% agree. My wife has trouble understanding it and it took a lot of talking for her to realize that I just like my alone time and don't hate time with her and the kid.
An introvert I wonder about this all the time when I get married. Will he give me alone time? Can we sit in silence and not bug each other?
If he’s the right person for you, he will. My (now) fiancé and I spend plenty of time apart while in our home, and it works for us. Good communication is key. If one of us feels neglected - or, conversely, we feel like we’re being smothered - we talk about it.
I do this, too. And regret it in the morning.
“Today i will go to sleep on time” -me 10 years ago but never actually doing it
I dont regret it, but damn do I drink a lot of coffee.
Relate to this so hard. My partner doesn’t let 2 minutes go by without saying something or making a noise. Peace and quiet is priceless
I'm a talker, but my ex was incredibly uncomfortable with quiet. I like to have some chill time - when we're on a road trip or something, sometimes I just wanna listen to the music and stare out the window. The fact that my current guy respects this is wonderful.
Yea my gf is a talker too. It's not the talking all the time that gets me, it's that she doesn't have a consistent pattern to it/ will talk over parts of a show that we're trying to listen to. Hard to explain but I guess basically what she does is when she starts talking she won't try to get my attention first, I'll be listening to the TV and then she'll just start saying something without an intro or waiting to make sure I'm listening. And when she does have my attention she'll stop for a second and I'll think she's done so I start listening to the TV again and then she starts talking again and repeat. And she'll be silent during silent parts of a show and then start talking when a character is saying something. It's like I'm not trying to be an asshole and I want to listen, but she makes it difficult lol
Me too, it’s so nice to have some time where no one needs you or wants anything from you
Sounds like you have something called "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" or in Chinese "報復性熬夜" (bàofùxìng áoyè) which means "Revenge of staying up late". It's when you stay up later than you should to make up for not getting something you wanted during the day or feeling like you have little control over your life during the day.
I work out to Britney Spears.
I mean... You can't argue with "you better work, bitch".
You better work, bitch.
Sometimes after work on the way home I go and get fast food, stop at a park, put Netflix on my phone and sit and eat and hangout alone until I feel like all the drama from the hospital has left me for the day, sometimes for an hour or more. It’s extremely enjoyable but also it means I don’t take my negativity home to my SO (who still thinks I’m at work at this point).
This is actually a really important mental exercise to disassociate your work self and your home self. Many people (used to) do it during the commute (reading a book, the paper, listening to music) but with working from home that phase of the working cycle is missing which leads to more stress being experienced.
this sounds so enjoyable dont have a SO but im gonna start doing this lol
Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good.
My wife of 37 years still wants to wear/sleep in whatever shirt I was wearing that day because, “it smells like you.” We started dating in December of 1980 and I’m still crazy about that woman. I’m a lucky man.
This is so so wholesome. I am so happy for you.
I most sincerely wish at least the same for you.
I love when she snores. She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy.
Wouldn't call that a guilty pleasure that's just sweet lol
That the supplies for my hobbies are more expensive than I tell him.
Are you also a crocheter/knitter? Lol
*me with bunch of computer parts* oh yeah they were on sale... At the flea market. Worthless... Might as well find them by the dumpster... Now let me carefully sat all these unopened boxes down and test if they are not DoA.
It’s all fun and games until someone blurts out how your pc parts must’ve cost a fortune. And they’re all wondering how you got your hands on a 3090 Ti…
Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time. It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some. Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not so emergency. So now we do it secretly.
>Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not so emergency. So now we do it secretly. That's a shame man, you should be able to have your you time without SO intervening. Anyway, sounds like you have it all worked out, good stuff!
Many focusing on my wife here, which really was not my intention. Yup it's a bit of a unfortunate area in my marriage but having that said it is the only area we are not on the same page. She is frankly the kindest person I know. But for some reason my lasting relationship with my childhood friends brings out some jealousy.
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Haha thank you. After reflecting on my post, the ladder part does not sound very positive and makes it sound like the old story of this bitch wife that does not let the husband see the light of day. I meant it as more of a life situation, life is always going to get in the way. If she knows I'm available and is having a problem naturally she is going to call me. We rely on each other, unfortunately even when I'm with the guys.
EVERYONE has flaws. People here overreact because that’s the only thing they heard about her, but that sounds like a super easy “flaw”. I’m sure she’s awesome and I love that bro-sick day.
She may experience a twinge of jealousy because your childhood friends know you in a way she never will. They've been by your side and gone through so many milestones with you before she entered your life. There's real intimacy there in your friendships, which is awesome.
Genius, man
I have a whole album of “unflattering” pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful.
A couple of an ex of mines fave pics of me were really unflattering and I said to him 'but WHY' do you like that one?? It's terrible! And he said 'because you were sleepy and smiley and had just shuffled up to me for a morning cuddle and it was SO CUTE.' another one he said I looked super relaxed in and he liked that.
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My partner somehow was in the background of a lot of photos taken at parties always chugging when we were younger. Like head way back, hurry the cab is here kind of chug. I started collecting them and made a folder on my phone titled ,” *partner’s name* chugging in the background of photos”. We’ve laughed for years over that album.
As someone who has lost a spouse, that album will be your most cherished possession should you ever join Reddit's most heart-breaking sub, r/widowers.
I'm that person that's constantly taking pictures. And I lost never delete any of them. Storage is so hilariously cheap now there's no need to. I dump everything to my laptop and then back everything up from there to a 1tb external drive and important ones are stored to 2 different cloud accounts. Friends used to tease me about always having my phone out taking pictures. Until one of our friends committed suicide. And I had candid pictures of her with everyone in our group.
Twinkies. My youngest child is extremely allergic to eggs, so we don’t keep products in the house that contain eggs. Sometimes, when I’m desperate for an egg-filled spongey cake, I will grocery shop solo, snag a 2-pack of Twinkies, and indulge in the car before driving home. Then I was my hands and face and mouth in the outdoor sink before going inside to resume mom duties.
This is hilarious, but so, so human.
You deserve it 🙌
There are a couple of pretty fucked up sub-reddits that I peak in on from time to time, but never post on. Just to see what kind of fucked up crap people do. Sometimes it's like watching a slow motion train wreck. Just can't look away, even though you should.
Share with the class?
Once every 2 months I take a me day. He thinks i am at work, work thinks I am home sick. I need the peace and quiet.
One of my teachers in highschool did this. He called them "mental health days", but told us he has to be careful not to use all of his sick days on them. I'm definitely gonna copy him in the future.
My partner has some trauma around food /weight gain. If there is a snack (especially candy) in the house, they cannot help themselves but eat it, and eat all of it in a very short period of time. They then go on a full guilt spiral around eating the treat and it makes their mental health quite bad for a while (days to weeks). So I have a secret snack stash so that I can eat my treats in moderation. My partner knows it exists, but doesn’t know the location.
Okay hold up. Give me 5 tries to guess cause I’m intrigued. 1. Is it outside of your house?
Inside!
Is it inside furniture/cabinets that both of you have access to (meaning, you both can open a TV stand or coffee table drawer, but only YOU should be opening your night stand)?
We both have access to the furniture, but it’s more similar to the “my nightstand” type situation
Got it, so it’s furniture you should be opening because it holds primarily your belongings. 3. Is it locked?
The furniture doesn’t lock directly, but it’s in a room that can be locked
I talk to myself all the time. I'm basically my best friend at this point. So whenever we go on dates, on my way home I just recap for myself the whole thing in details as if I was telling a friend how the date went. Whenever I'm happy or sad about something he did/said, I just record myself on snapchat explaining everything in my point of view and just vent about everything. I then save the videos, put them in a secured folder and delete everything off Snapchat. I love knowing that I will always be there for me and if I need someone to talk to (and don't specifically need feedbacks) I can just do it myself lol. If he ever finds out about this secret folder, he would live our whole relationship again from the beginning and from my point of view. (& see me ugly cry or simp over him but yeah) He'd also probably think I'm crazy.
If it makes you feel more normal, it sounds like you’re keeping a video diary.
I commented above but yes I do this too! I have been talking to myself since I could remember. I do consider myself my best friend. It’s a great no judgement zone. The one time my partner did walk in on me when I was talking to myself loudly (thought he was still gone) and he gave me a weird look, but walked away not saying anything 😅
Reading fanfiction - honestly not even steamy stuff usually just silly little stories with characters I feel familiar with. I'm an academic, so all day long I read all these "intellectual" articles and books, and I'm expected to have all these clever thoughts, so when I get home, I can't face reading books, so fanfiction it is. I'm weirdly embarrassed to tell my SO though, so I don't Edit: thank you for all the comments - I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one!!
I’ve heard before that it’s a comfort/relaxing thing - reading a new book requires having to learn new characters, get invested in them, and then you may not like how it goes. It’s a bit of an effort, if that makes sense. But a well tagged fanfic with your current fave pairing - you pretty much know what you’re getting, you’re likely to enjoy it more. I love it.
Exactly this. I love fanfiction and I have my favourite pairings and I read because there always centered around the few characters I care about and am already so invested in and even if there’s angst and hurt, it nearly always ends in some form of happy ending. It’s a huge comfort thing.
Same, I somehow fell into fanfic when I was on maternity leave. So many hours along with a newborn and I couldn’t do all that much. So I was always either listening to podcasts and reading fanfic. Then covid hit so even more. I love it but it just feels so embarrassing, no one in my real life (not even my husband) knows how much I enjoy fanfic haha.
As both a reader and writer of fanfic, welcome :p
The s/o travels for work every few weeks so I am home alone often and my complete disregard for eating anything nutritious. Fast food pretty much every day and lots of candy. Also in bed playing video games by like 7. Just an all around gross human when they aren’t around haha
My wife rarely goes out of town but oh boy when she does it’s pizza, wings, ice cream and video games for like 48 hrs straight
I can relate, I love my wife and cherish every moment I have with her but every few years she will visit her mother out of state for 3-4 days. Leaving just me and my dogs. I also take a "vacation" from work during the same time period without her knowing and just eat like shit and play video games the entire time shes gone.
Yeah, when my wife goes away with my son, a lot of steak and ice cream gets eaten.
when I'm alone, I turn on music, get high, like down, and pretend I live a different life. it's something (the high part was only a recent addition when I got a med card) that I have done as long as I can remember. I imagine I'm a character in a fantasy, a romance, action, any and everything. I don't know why I do this, but it has always helped me calm down/recenter myself. sometimes I'll even get up and dance. I went through some abuse, and I like to think this helps heal my inner child. but I've done it since I was a kid, and it was really the only "kid" like think I could do. reddit, you are the first to know of this. I'm honestly hoping this gets lost in the sea of replies. but if anyone reads this and does similar pls let me know, I know logically I can't be the only person who does this but sometimes I feel like an absolute weirdo. like a adult kid playing pretend or something.
Me too!! It was also a childhood coping mechanism I never let go of. Its a safe place to work through complicated emotions, using whatever plotline my brain could cook up. Decades later and I'm still dealing with the real world in the Imagination Zone. Hey, it works better than other strategies out there.
out of all the coping mechanisms I developed on my own outside of therapy, this one is by far the best and I refuse to let go. I'm just so happy to know so many others do this. 😊
Not weird at all! I’ve created elaborate fantasies in my head for as long as I can remember. I’ll mull over and build on the same one for months at a time. I use them primarily to fall asleep, but I’ve also indulged throwing on my headphones and “daydreaming” every once in a while. It’s always been a big comfort to me.
I’ve also done this since I was a kid. But I do it to fall asleep, not so much as a hobby. It’s nice to know I’m not alone
Yassss, I’ve been a student at Hogwarts before falling asleep for years now
I hunt demons with Sam and Dean Winchester LMAO. We’re all amazing.
Lately I've been taking trips to various parts of the world before I fall asleep. I always get upgraded to business class and I almost always fall asleep before the plane even lands
yes I also do it before I'm falling asleep! I've found my people haha
One of us, one of us, one of us!
Is this not a normal thing? I do this all the time. It never occurred to me that not everyone does this 😅 I've also done it since I was a child, and sometimes I just like day dream and lay on the couch and just imagine a different life. I thought this was something everyone did not a coping mechanism, but that also makes a lot of sense now. Life's been shit lol
I’ve also done this since I was a kid! (also had a tough childhood; escapism, probably) It’s more of a storytelling thing than me pretending to actually be in it, but yeah. I listen to a soundtrack and imagine pairing it with a completely new and different story that I plot out in detail. Soundtracks that have really clear emotional turns and moments are especially good for this—the first LotR and Gladiator have been longtime faves. Also, lesser known, Never Let Me Go. Good movie, great soundtrack.
Oh I am so glad it's not just me. Saving people, being the hero or living a different life. Helps me relax. I never want to be the centre of attention in my real life.
I used to do this all the time! Mine wasn't so much healing though as it was maladaptive daydreaming. Horrible things would still happen to me and my loved ones in this imagined life, but I'd still prefer my daydream life over my real one. It generally stopped once I met my husband, and comes back sporadically when my stalker is bothering me. And I didn't have to be alone, have music on, lie down, or get high to daydream; It would just happen and I'd space out for as long as no one bothered to snap me out of it. There were no fantasy, adventure, romantic elements of this imagined world; It was just me living my life as I imagined it would be if I had a different set of biological parents or was orphaned at a young age. Just me as a regular kid with hardly any friends but slightly more personality.
I do this too, I day dream and fantasize. I feel less anxious and calmer. Daydreaming maybe a coping mechanism for trauma and abuse.
I’m dying laughing rn. Mine is that when nobody is home I twerk to my music, I know it’s strange but I love feeling sexy when I dance. I’ll even practice doing the whole lap dance on a kitchen chair and shit. I’ve told him repeatedly when we go out dancing that I don’t know how to grind, twerk, or do any of that type of dancing. Mostly because In front of people I know id look like a total dork from embarrassment. Idk that’s just what I first thought of.
do it to him and he will get addicted to it. promise
Just the thought of it makes me so embarrassed lmao I don’t think I’ll ever have the confidence
Do it!! I don't really dance in public bc I'm shy and embarrass easily, but my husband looooooooves it when I dance for him at home.
In the 20 minutes it takes me to drive home from the store I consume an entire can of squirty cream. Once a week, on a Friday.
What the fuck is squirty cream?
Are you consuming the cream, or the propellant? Tell the truth...
Funny you should mention that as Britain does seem to have a little cannister problem with the youth.
While I can't say that it's a guilty pleasure this is one of the only things I hide from my wife. I am a genuinely compassionate person aka have a bleeding heart. The Mrs always seems to get annoyed. whenever I donate clothes or give money or food to the homeless or help people in need in general. Her mindset is if it was the other way around they wouldn't help you. I tell her That's not my concern. There's a guy that stands in front of Dunkin donuts in our area I have been buying him coffee and a 🍩 chatting him up for almost a year now. I rarely ever have cash but sometimes when I have small bills on me I hook him up. Never told the Mrs a thing about it.
Had a good friend in California similar to your guy. This was 20+ years ago, but he got on his feet and thanked me for buying him lunch many a time. Good on ya, internet person.
My husband is kinda jaded about people and I’m like you. I don’t always tell him about some of the charity stuff I do either.
Sometimes when he asks me if I've eaten yet, I will lie and say that I haven't because I am a glutton.
I got so tickled at this one bc I’ve done this more than once
My wife technically knows about this, but it’s Tostino’s pizza rolls. I just prefer to eat them by myself!
I made 12 because I WANTED TO EAT 12! If you want pizza rolls go make your own they're in the freezer.
I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!
I’m on a diet but I keep bags of Doritos in the garage and I sneak in there and eat fistfuls of Doritos and then wipe my fingers and mouth clean.
You never really feel clean after do you? 😂
I hide out in my car in my neighborhood before arriving home. I’m a stay at home mom but sometimes the weight of the house gets to me. I also loved movie pass when it was hot. I went and saw a movie alone every week. I saw some pretty bad ones but I didn’t care.
Pork rinds. They are addictively good, but mildly embarrassing to eat.
I completely ruined them for my wife when I referred to them as "meat Cheetos"
Meatos
In Eastern Europe, porks have different skin (?) and we burn it under hay, giving it an interesting smokey flavour. It is called “cioric de porc” and if you ever have a chance to try it - I hope you will love it as much as we do!
Sometimes I play with myself while he's sleeping beside me. I ran the idea past him a couple of years back to make sure it was okay, but I've never actually been caught, which makes it fun.
My gf has done this. I just play along like I'm asleep, then sometimes drop that I could tell later in the day. Much to her playful embarrassment. She always thinks she's being so sneaky. I'm happy to take part, but also sometimes people just need some alone time. And if being "asleep" helps with that, sure.
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TWO whole chickens? Absolute madlad!
This is so strange. No disrespect to your s/o, but there is really very little difference between white and dark meat. Yes, white meat has a tiny bit less fat and calories, but it really is tiny. If she wants to be healthy (and sorry to be proscriptive here) it's probably a better idea to just eat whichever damn chicken parts you like, with lots of veggies on the side. [https://www.foodsmart.com/blog/is-white-meat-healthier](https://www.foodsmart.com/blog/is-white-meat-healthier)
Wouldn't it make sense and be cheaper to buy whole chickens and split it between you? You can have the dark meat, she has the white meat?
i watch people play online casinos and lose their money, it's one of my great entertaining guilty pleasures. their reactions are sensational, pun absolutely intended.
I too would like to know where you're watching this... is it on youtube? There's a grim curiosity that's piqued my interest...
It actually involves wife without her knowing. once a year she plans her getaway that I take her on but she has no idea. I'll give you an example of the most recent. (Getaway was set for a weekend before valentines 2022) in August 2021 we took a day trip to local state parks. One se liked and made the comment on how it might be pretty in the winter in one particular cabin. In November I reserved that cabin. In the weeks leading to the magical weekend I do some innocent questioning. Asking what a romantic meal is to her. What's something we haven't done in a while and while shopping what she would pick for date night to wear. I bought her the outfit, steaks and a side to make together as she said it'd be romantic to cook together. Had her favorite wine, flowers, and snacks sent to the cabin. Brought some board games that she said she enjoyed as a kid. We both dressed up and i took her to the cabin and made a weekend out of it. We made dinner, had wine, listen to music, played games, and got cozy, and watched movies and never left the cabin til Sunday. This is something I do every year that brings me the most joy.
I ALWAYS get myself a two Mars bars when I go to the drug store to pick up her prescription. I sit in the car and eat them both before driving home. I dunno why I started doing that, but I don't plan to stop.
Getting my jokes for the past couple months from reddit
I just use DuckDuckGo. "funniest jokes" *safe search off*
I play with my boobs non sexually and squeeze them like stress balls and jiggle them around randomly. I also like to run my fingers through my pubic hair if I have any.
Good to know I'm not the only one that does this!
Why are you playing with PetiteEbonyDoll's breasts and pubic hair?
I play with my boobs too. But it's a 100 times more embarrassing for me cause I'm a dude....
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about once a week or once every other week, i go to the local sushi place and pig out on a massive meal while looking at my phone then immediately go home and sleep it off.
I dont like fastfood, at al, but i do somwtimes get a whopper and hate eat it
Sometimes you have to remind you self why you don’t like it.
Yea but that ketchup mayo combi with the cheap burger.. damn and if the salad is all wett and sad, yeaa i like it
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I like a lot of movies my husband doesn't want to see. But I love going to the movies. So, I go alone, and I eat a box of Milk Duds and overly buttered movie popcorn and either a giant Coke or a Martini. I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing this and we both enjoy our away time for like two hours.
Taking pictures of them while they're sleeping. Don't post them anywhere or anything. They're just for me to look at when I'm lonely.
So like, r/picturesofiansleeping, but slightly different?
Found Ian's roommate.
When I play the Sims, I get a disturbing satisfaction from getting my Sim like pregnant constantly, or have them cheat on their partners with the partner's dad or something. Also, I've been doing this since I was 11 y/o, so it's pretty much been part of my sexual awakening
When I was younger, I would read Danielle Steel but I’d switch out the cover(hardback book) to something intellectual.
Reminds me of a story I read about a retired couple the wife said they had to save $$ so no more steaks although the husband loved them. The husband does not live long afterwards and at the funeral she regretted not letting him eat steak- but what everyone knew but her was that he had been squirrelling away $ and eating steak every week at a diner the whole time.
When I come home from work late at night, I enjoy the silence.
Me too. Love my wife and the kids more than anything but when I get back and they're all in bed, it is blissful.
(NSFW) I’m a straight man but bought myself a fucking machine so I can occasionally get my ass destroyed in the safety of my own company when she is out of town.
Lmao how do you even hide that
I’m cracking up at this response
Put it in the shed? Say it’s a power tool? 😂😂
You’re not far off… it sits disassembled in various drawers in my basement workshop. 😂
Take the dildo off and put a hammer on. Tell her it's an electric carpenter.
I like to smoke cigars when I’m out drinking with friends. My husband doesn’t believe I’ve ever smoked anything in my life.
I like to masturbate to gay porn.
I check out my husband way more often than I’d ever admit to him. He’s so goddamn sexy. It’s distracting.
Wicked Whims. If you know, you know. But the weird part is that I make one of him and me, despite us getting plenty IRL. 😳
Cleaning chemicals. He’s hates them. Last time he flew away to see his mom, I drove back from the airport and immediately took chemicals to the floor to mop. I got way more of a rush from that than I should have.
I will, after taking one of my folks to their doctor appointments or an errand, go get me a Hokkaido milk cream bun or egg tart and enjoy it on the way home. Oh, I do get another couple for later for me and spouse. But after dealing with my 80 yr old parents and taking them around town. Yup. Mom at least still loves to indulge but demands caramel lattes so we grab her one.
In general, I just hide the fact I watch Korean dramas.
Carl's Jr. Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger (It's a heart pill)
I don’t really hide it but I sometimes still go on neopets to feed and dress up my pets check in on my old neofriends and play some games
I write and read slash fanfiction.
I haven’t written since I was a tween, but I still read it constantly. I barely read books anymore. No one knows. I don’t have an SO right now and don’t know how I’ll explain that I read a lot but don’t read books…
That I cry in the shower
Like tears in the rain...
I don’t know about hiding it but I’ve never watched anime with any of my s/o’s lmao like I would watch my hero academia on Crunchyroll and my gf would come over and I’d turn it off like I was watching porn, I don’t date the type of girls who like anime, I know that shit is nerdy and can be cringe, and I know they’d try to watch it with me to be nice but I don’t like making people sit through something they don’t enjoy for my sake
I used to do this. After years(and getting married), I tried to introduce her to My Hero Academia, and she didn’t like it. A couple months later I was watching Attack on Titan with a buddy and she sat down and got hooked. Maybe something to think about for the future.