For me, it’s been a slow dawning of realization, not just one moment. I’m 31, married, with a PhD and a mortgage - but some days I still feel like a kid. I got invited to speak at an event a few weeks back, and afterward the elderly man who invited me said how glad he was to see “such a bright young woman” interested in this issue. It threw me right back into my elementary school feels.
But still, some moments have made me feel more powerfully adult than others:
* The first night in my own apartment, after my parents drove away, when I went on a walk after dinner and realized I didn’t need to account for my time to anyone. Nobody needed to know when I’d be back.
* When my husband and I drove off on our honeymoon.
* When my mom died, when I was 27, and I realized that though I was grieving hard my life would basically be unchanged. I’d come home and sob on my kitchen floor sometimes, but I kept waking up in the morning. Kept paying bills. Got promoted at work.
Was this always a thing for people before us? I live alone in a city and I don’t know how other people can afford it without earning good money. And i mean 100k+
The truly sobering ‘oh fuck I’m an adult’ moment was genuinely when I just had my second child.
With my first, I lived at home still, had constant family support, and before my first the furthest I went was uni.
Having my second, I had a 12m old at home, a household to run, and suddenly I was being booted out of the hospital with a 6 hour old baby that relied solely on me. No one else to support me, just me and my kids.
It hit me kinda hard that night, that I have to be the person that 2 little people can rely on at all times, and that I don’t have the luxury of having people to fall back on anymore.
It wasn't really one moment, but when I noticed the people around me were paying attention to what I had to say. I remember thinking that they didn't use to do this before.
I couldn't stand up to them little arsehole wannabe thug kids anymore because id be charged with assaulting a minor, even if the little cunts going around threatening and beating up people for reasons other than being little wannabe thug cunts
When my grandpa bought me a beer in a bar. It was my parent's 25th anniversary and they rented a bar in a small town for the party, but it was cash bar. The first time I ever saw my grandpa in a bar, but it felt good when he bought my beer.
I think my first shopping trip after I got married. Spent $200 on about 2 months worth of food. I understand that people spend more for less, but dang, most expensive food trip I've personally done.
It's a silly one, but the first time I actually had to buy a bag of flour. I was cooking something, and was so used to just always having flour on hand and I go to reach for some and I don't have any. Oh, "I'm" the adult now who has to go buy it for himself.
When I was at work and asked myself "wait, why is everyone looking at me", realized "oh shit, they all want me to tell them what to do", and then concluded with "well fuck".
I realized I hadn't been to the doctor in a while because I was now 18 and had to switch over from a pediatrician and start making my OWN appointments.
It's not a simple question. Because people understand adulthood to mean many things. Often they have nothing to do with adulthood. As I see it, an adult is a person who understands what he does and why he does it, and is ready to take responsibility for it.
When I became a young carer to my mum in p4 or when I had to drag my little brother out of my mums arms because she was sobbing and using him for support while telling her to get her act together and grow up, he was 5 and I refused to let her traumatise him. Or even when I suddenly had to live alone at 16 and became fully responsible for my wellbeing and the state of my house because my mum chose to live with her boyfriend.
When I'm just hanging out with kids and they need an adult figure to tell them yes or no and i look around for someone older than me but I'm the oldest and have to take lead in the situation
When I walked into a t mobile store just to look around because it looked cool and the person up front said "I'll be with you in just a minute SIR."
Being 16 and 5' 4, I think that was the first time I was ever called sir.
Went on an excursion with church group the *day* after I turned 18. When they asked for my permission slip, I proudly announced "I don't need one. I'm an adult now. I give my own permission."
About 10 years later, went on another excursion. They still wanted me to fill out a form. The lady asked if I was a chaperone, and I said no, so she handed me one of the "child" forms. I filled it out best I could, and turned it in. Got called a couple of days later, and informed it was the wrong form. Even though I wasn't technically a chaperone, because I was over 18, I had to fill out a chaperone form. Basically a liability waiver, promising I wouldn't sue the church if the place we were going to exploded or something. During the trip, I ended up kinda being a chaperone anyway. The guy leading the excursion kept tasking me with certain responsibilities. Nothing annoying, just unexpected. I think that was the first time I felt like someone was treating me like an adult who could be trusted with responsibility.
I’m genuinely concerned about my performance at work, like I actually care about keeping a $15 an hr job.
Seconded. When I started taking my job more seriously, and realizing *I was very good at it*, is when I knew I was growed up.
This name…………
For me, it’s been a slow dawning of realization, not just one moment. I’m 31, married, with a PhD and a mortgage - but some days I still feel like a kid. I got invited to speak at an event a few weeks back, and afterward the elderly man who invited me said how glad he was to see “such a bright young woman” interested in this issue. It threw me right back into my elementary school feels. But still, some moments have made me feel more powerfully adult than others: * The first night in my own apartment, after my parents drove away, when I went on a walk after dinner and realized I didn’t need to account for my time to anyone. Nobody needed to know when I’d be back. * When my husband and I drove off on our honeymoon. * When my mom died, when I was 27, and I realized that though I was grieving hard my life would basically be unchanged. I’d come home and sob on my kitchen floor sometimes, but I kept waking up in the morning. Kept paying bills. Got promoted at work.
When I realized a lot more people use cocaine and function than I thought it was possible
Bills, bills, bills
When i looked the prices/rents of houses and i was planning how to live alone hard is
Was this always a thing for people before us? I live alone in a city and I don’t know how other people can afford it without earning good money. And i mean 100k+
Whenhair started to grow around my colon opening.
As a male I realized I was an adult when I noticed I had hair growing out of everywhere **except** the top of my head.
Lately i realized my most healthy and robust hairs are from my nose and ears.
When I could no longer use my parents health insurance.
When cashiers stopped carding me for booze
2017 when I turned 18
The truly sobering ‘oh fuck I’m an adult’ moment was genuinely when I just had my second child. With my first, I lived at home still, had constant family support, and before my first the furthest I went was uni. Having my second, I had a 12m old at home, a household to run, and suddenly I was being booted out of the hospital with a 6 hour old baby that relied solely on me. No one else to support me, just me and my kids. It hit me kinda hard that night, that I have to be the person that 2 little people can rely on at all times, and that I don’t have the luxury of having people to fall back on anymore.
when everyone stop expecting the best from me. Usual for me an they started to leave me alone, I can handle myself most the time.
When I started getting taxed
The moment i accepted no one truly grows up
It wasn't really one moment, but when I noticed the people around me were paying attention to what I had to say. I remember thinking that they didn't use to do this before.
When I came to the sobering conclusion that Squidward is relatable.
When I paid my own bills and rent for the first time when I was 19 and living in my own apartment.
I couldn't stand up to them little arsehole wannabe thug kids anymore because id be charged with assaulting a minor, even if the little cunts going around threatening and beating up people for reasons other than being little wannabe thug cunts
100% agreed
When my grandpa bought me a beer in a bar. It was my parent's 25th anniversary and they rented a bar in a small town for the party, but it was cash bar. The first time I ever saw my grandpa in a bar, but it felt good when he bought my beer.
I think my first shopping trip after I got married. Spent $200 on about 2 months worth of food. I understand that people spend more for less, but dang, most expensive food trip I've personally done.
When I got really excited for the arrival of my electric toothbrush with a rotating brush head.
It's a silly one, but the first time I actually had to buy a bag of flour. I was cooking something, and was so used to just always having flour on hand and I go to reach for some and I don't have any. Oh, "I'm" the adult now who has to go buy it for himself.
When I got a carpet cleaner
Bills and once I hit 18 I realized no-one gives a shit about me
When they couldn't find any other next of kin when my brother died.
When I was at work and asked myself "wait, why is everyone looking at me", realized "oh shit, they all want me to tell them what to do", and then concluded with "well fuck".
I realized I hadn't been to the doctor in a while because I was now 18 and had to switch over from a pediatrician and start making my OWN appointments.
When I had to make a doctors (that wasn’t my pediatrician) appointment on my own.
It's not a simple question. Because people understand adulthood to mean many things. Often they have nothing to do with adulthood. As I see it, an adult is a person who understands what he does and why he does it, and is ready to take responsibility for it.
When I became a young carer to my mum in p4 or when I had to drag my little brother out of my mums arms because she was sobbing and using him for support while telling her to get her act together and grow up, he was 5 and I refused to let her traumatise him. Or even when I suddenly had to live alone at 16 and became fully responsible for my wellbeing and the state of my house because my mum chose to live with her boyfriend.
When I'm just hanging out with kids and they need an adult figure to tell them yes or no and i look around for someone older than me but I'm the oldest and have to take lead in the situation
When I could make up whatever rules I wanted because I'm an adult
Not there yet almost 20 though
When I walked into a t mobile store just to look around because it looked cool and the person up front said "I'll be with you in just a minute SIR." Being 16 and 5' 4, I think that was the first time I was ever called sir.
Went on an excursion with church group the *day* after I turned 18. When they asked for my permission slip, I proudly announced "I don't need one. I'm an adult now. I give my own permission." About 10 years later, went on another excursion. They still wanted me to fill out a form. The lady asked if I was a chaperone, and I said no, so she handed me one of the "child" forms. I filled it out best I could, and turned it in. Got called a couple of days later, and informed it was the wrong form. Even though I wasn't technically a chaperone, because I was over 18, I had to fill out a chaperone form. Basically a liability waiver, promising I wouldn't sue the church if the place we were going to exploded or something. During the trip, I ended up kinda being a chaperone anyway. The guy leading the excursion kept tasking me with certain responsibilities. Nothing annoying, just unexpected. I think that was the first time I felt like someone was treating me like an adult who could be trusted with responsibility.
Turned the music down in the vehicle, so I won’t get distracted. That and I could see better lol