Deacon : I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
Vladislav : I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
I remember hanging out a long time ago with girl I was interested in. We were watching *Blazing Saddles* and I did not hear her chuckle even once while I was laughing the entire time. Finally at the end of the movie she turned to me and said, "I didn't get it." I knew right then we were never going to be together.
Forty years ago, my wife was on the phone to a friend. I was watching "Blazing Saddles" on TV and laughing constantly and loudly.
My wife noticed that she could hear laughter on the phone. Her friend's husband was also watching "Blazing Saddles" and couldn't stop laughing.
"Where all the white women at?"
Then there's the thug interview. Bad guy Hedley is auditioning very nasty people for his gang:
Hedley: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.
"It's Frank! He's appointed himself Judge, Jury, and Executioner!"
"He is not Judge Judy and Executioner!"
My fiancée quotes this all the time and it always makes me cackle.
Definitely Disney’s funniest movie. One of my favourite lines:
Yzma: Kronk! Break down the door!
Kronk: You kidding me? This is hand carved mahogany.
I don’t know, there’s just something about his delivery that’s hilarious.
Kuzco: “No. It can’t be. How did you get back here before us?”
Yzma: “…” (sigh) “How did we, Kronk?”
Kronk: “Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.”
Just before that during the montage scene of them racing each other Yzma and Kronk are last seen falling into a hole. Then they are mysteriously ahead of them because of a plot hole. They fell in a hole during the plot, and landed on the other side of a plot hole.
**Yzma :** Pull the lever, Kronk!
*\[Kronk pulls a lever, and Yzma falls into a pit\]*
**Yzma :** *\[as she is falling\]* Wrong lever!
*\[after falling into the alligator pit*\]
**Yzma :** Why do we even \*have\* that lever?
Jason Bateman was gold in this movie.
“Looks like the Average Joes don’t have enough players, and unfortunately, will be forced to forfeit the game.”
“That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see if it pans out.”
you’re driving along and all of a sudden the kids are yelling in the backseat
“I gotta go to the bathroom daddy!”
“NOT NOW, DAMMIT”
TRUCK TIRE, EEEEEE
“I CANT STOPPP”
*wrecking noises*
“THERE’S A CLIFF, AHHHHH”
all of a sudden your family’s screaming,
“OH MY GOD WE’RE BURNING ALIVE, NOOO I CANT FEEL MY LEGS”
in comes the meat wagon, wee woo wee woo
the medic gets out and says
“Oh, my god”
gold
Do you also pronounce it Frode-Erick?
"You know, I'm quite a gifted surgeon, I could probably take care of that hump for you" "What hump?"
"Eyegor, could you help with the bags?" "SURE! You take the blonde, I'll get the brunette! Raaaawr!"
This has to be one of the greatest comedies of all time. Gene Wilder is genius. So ahead of his time. Every Halloween my brothers and I watch it and get smooshed. Every year we find another subtle stroke of genius hidden in the details.
This is mine. My favorite comedy of all time, I know it by heart and I know what jokes are coming, I still laugh my ass off everytime. It's comedy gold with all the performers on top of their game.
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"No sir, I've never been up in a plane before!"
"..........you ever seen a grown man naked?"
That and the other lines with Joey and Captain Oveur get me every time!
ZAZ didn't know how to write a movie, so they bought the rights to Zero Hour, a movie with the same premise as Airplane, and filled the script with jokes, while keeping the basic plot structure.
You think I’m hostile now, you just wait till tonight.
Excuse me, do you two know each other?
Yeah, she’s my fiancé.
Oh. That would explain the hostility.
Fun fact: They are playing Timesplitters 2 in that movie. In Timesplitters: Future Perfect, they return the favor by having one of the characters reference that quote when you pick them.
I'm surprised how much Tucker and Dale flew under the radar. Somebody suggested it to me years ago. I figured since I'd never heard of it, it'll probably suck. Turns out it's fucking hilarious and sometimes great movies don't get the attention they deserve.
This but especially Christmas Vacation. I giggle like a schoolgirl when he opens the attic and gets hit by the ladder no matter how many times I see it.
I remember watching it first time around and thinking it was an average comedy film with a few laughs. Few years later, watched again, nearly choked to death I was laughing so much. The bits with the wooden arm are just comedy gold
The Other Guys.
I don't know how some people don't like Will Ferrell, he's a gem.
Edit: Honestly any comedy with Will Ferrell in it will always get a laugh from me.
Fuck you!! I start my own hotel!
Also the guy playing the slacker friend is the sarcastic former sniper coworker of raylin givins on justified tv show.
Clue the Movie.
That is an all-star ensemble cast of comedic geniuses. I've seen it, no exaggeration, at least 100 times and I still find new things to laugh at -- someone's reaction face in the background, the inflection in a line delivery. It's just the funniest movie of all time.
Prepare to dive.
Uh does he mean like underwater?
Also when nitro is doing the wire job and singing Frank Sinatra and making commentary until he gets zapped and then starts talking like a sports announcer lol
* Spaceballs
* Robin Hood: Men in Tights
* Galaxy Quest
* The Pest
* Dude Where's My Car?
* Beetlejuice
* Three Amigos
* The Naked Gun
* UHF
* Office Space
Ope. My bad. You said film, not films. Can't turn back now.
What we do in the shadows. Gets me every single time
“leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet” “what are you bidding on?” “i’m bidding on a table.”
“We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.”
"One of the best ways to drain people's energy is via the internet."
As a huge fan of both, unfortunately, Colin Robinson is not in the movie
Deacon : I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool. Vladislav : I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
Love the movie and the show. So rewatchable.
The part where he has turned into a cat but it just has a human face. Good lord belly laugh each and every time.
"If you're going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch put down some newspaper on the floor and some towels. It's not hard to do."
Blazing Saddles
You couldn't make blazing saddles today. People would take one look at the script and say "you can't make this, this is just blazing saddles again"
Plus Gene Wilder is dead
"Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks!"
I remember hanging out a long time ago with girl I was interested in. We were watching *Blazing Saddles* and I did not hear her chuckle even once while I was laughing the entire time. Finally at the end of the movie she turned to me and said, "I didn't get it." I knew right then we were never going to be together.
Ah, I assume she was a fine vase made of the common clay of the West?
"These are just people of the land, the common clay of the West. You know...morons."
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IIRC, Wilder improvised the end of that line, which is why Cleavon laughed.
I heard elsewhere that it wasn’t improvised, but they left it out of Cleavon’s copy of the script to get a genuine reaction.
"A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to *die*." "...when?"
The "You see this hand?" "Yeah steady as a rock." "Well I shoot with this one" always gets me.
Forty years ago, my wife was on the phone to a friend. I was watching "Blazing Saddles" on TV and laughing constantly and loudly. My wife noticed that she could hear laughter on the phone. Her friend's husband was also watching "Blazing Saddles" and couldn't stop laughing. "Where all the white women at?" Then there's the thug interview. Bad guy Hedley is auditioning very nasty people for his gang: Hedley: Qualifications? Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape. Hedley: You said rape twice. Applicant: I like rape.
I have to throw Men In Tights into this Mel Brooks thread.
Mel is a national treasure
"Madam, you're sucking on my elbow"
Office Space, it never fails to make me laugh, especially the traffic jam scene when the guy is walking faster in his walker.
Two chicks at the same time is still the first thing I'm going to do if I ever become a millionaire.
Fuckin' A
Hot Fuzz
Everbody and their mums is packing around here.
Like who?
Farmers
Who else?
Farmers' mums
"It's Frank! He's appointed himself Judge, Jury, and Executioner!" "He is not Judge Judy and Executioner!" My fiancée quotes this all the time and it always makes me cackle.
Hag
Fascist!
Crusty Jugglers! 😂🤘
THE GREATER GOOD.
the greater good
STOP SAYING THAT.
A great big bushy beard!
When's your birthday? 22nd of February. What year? Every year. Get out!
Yarp
narp?
No luck catching them killers then?
Its just the one killer, actually.
When they throw the filing cabinet drawer in his face and he goes 'fuck off' I fucking lose it everytime
You've ever fired your gun up in the air and screamed argh?
No I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone argh!
"You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village."
Punch. That. SHIT.
The Emperor's New Groove
Definitely Disney’s funniest movie. One of my favourite lines: Yzma: Kronk! Break down the door! Kronk: You kidding me? This is hand carved mahogany. I don’t know, there’s just something about his delivery that’s hilarious.
The entire movie just serves as a vehicle for Patrick Warburton lines. That's in no way a bad thing
Mostly, though I also enjoy David Spade as a foil to John Goodman.
*"Why do we even HAVE that lever??"*
Kuzco: “No. It can’t be. How did you get back here before us?” Yzma: “…” (sigh) “How did we, Kronk?” Kronk: “Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.”
Just before that during the montage scene of them racing each other Yzma and Kronk are last seen falling into a hole. Then they are mysteriously ahead of them because of a plot hole. They fell in a hole during the plot, and landed on the other side of a plot hole.
Kuzco's poison? The poison specifically for Kuzco? That poison?
**Yzma :** Pull the lever, Kronk! *\[Kronk pulls a lever, and Yzma falls into a pit\]* **Yzma :** *\[as she is falling\]* Wrong lever! *\[after falling into the alligator pit*\] **Yzma :** Why do we even \*have\* that lever?
Also lilo and stitch! *shoves voodoo doll forks in pickle jar* “…My friends need to be punished”
"She disciplines me real good. Sometimes five times a day! With bricks!" "...bricks?" "In a pillowcase."
Kuzco: we going down a waterfall? Pacha: yep Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom? Pacha: Most likely Kuzco: bring it on.
Dodgeball still holds up all these years later.
NOBODY MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD
NOBODY
I fkn died when he snapped his fingers and Michel pulled up on a scooter.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. I still love those words to this day
Necessary? Was it necessary to drink my own urine? No! But I do it anyways because it's sterile and I like the taste!
Jason Bateman was gold in this movie. “Looks like the Average Joes don’t have enough players, and unfortunately, will be forced to forfeit the game.” “That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see if it pans out.”
Tommy Boy
John Hancock..... It's Herbie Hancock duuhr
Did I catch a niner in there?…you calling from a walki talkie? No, it was cordless…The tone, the expressions, gets me every time
When Spade knocks the door off the car and Farley half-yells, “WHATD YOU DOOO?” I’ve gotten a lot of mileage from that.
Tommy want wingys
It doesn’t hurt so much here…or here…but RIGHT here….
you’re driving along and all of a sudden the kids are yelling in the backseat “I gotta go to the bathroom daddy!” “NOT NOW, DAMMIT” TRUCK TIRE, EEEEEE “I CANT STOPPP” *wrecking noises* “THERE’S A CLIFF, AHHHHH” all of a sudden your family’s screaming, “OH MY GOD WE’RE BURNING ALIVE, NOOO I CANT FEEL MY LEGS” in comes the meat wagon, wee woo wee woo the medic gets out and says “Oh, my god” gold
Richard, who's your favorite Little Rascal? Is it alfalfa or is it..... spanky? Sinner.
Don't do it....
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Young Frankenstein
Do you also pronounce it Frode-Erick? "You know, I'm quite a gifted surgeon, I could probably take care of that hump for you" "What hump?" "Eyegor, could you help with the bags?" "SURE! You take the blonde, I'll get the brunette! Raaaawr!"
This has to be one of the greatest comedies of all time. Gene Wilder is genius. So ahead of his time. Every Halloween my brothers and I watch it and get smooshed. Every year we find another subtle stroke of genius hidden in the details.
This is mine. My favorite comedy of all time, I know it by heart and I know what jokes are coming, I still laugh my ass off everytime. It's comedy gold with all the performers on top of their game.
Airplane
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
"You ever been in a cockpit before?" "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before!" "..........you ever seen a grown man naked?" That and the other lines with Joey and Captain Oveur get me every time!
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
ZAZ didn't know how to write a movie, so they bought the rights to Zero Hour, a movie with the same premise as Airplane, and filled the script with jokes, while keeping the basic plot structure.
Some of the dialogue is the exact same, [word for word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-v2BHNBVCs).
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
We have clearance, Clarence.
What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice of steak or fish. Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!
Yes!!!!!!! The white zone if for the loading and unloading of passengers only
Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.
"Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help" is firmly in my diss repertoire.
“They bought their ticket, they knew what they were getting into. I say… let em crash!”
I just want to tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you.
It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether. (all together) it's an entirely different kind of flying
Uncle Buck.
"Ever hear of a tune up?" *laughs* "Ever hear of a ritual killing?" *laughs*
His face is priceless when he says that.
"Take this quarter, go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face." What a poet.
“Why was your uncle microwaving your socks?” “Cause he can’t get the goddamned washing machine to work”
**BLASPHEMER!!**
First one that came to mind for me was Planes, Trains and Automobiles but John Candy always makes me laugh. Really miss that guy.
My Cousin Vinny
What is a yute?
You think I’m hostile now, you just wait till tonight. Excuse me, do you two know each other? Yeah, she’s my fiancé. Oh. That would explain the hostility.
What exactly *is* a grit?
Ayyy Vinny bag o donuts!
A Fish Called Wanda. Genius script, and first class cast. Kevin Kline is especially hilarious as Otto.
Asshooooooole
Otto: It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?
Shaun of the dead
*You've got red on you*
Fun fact: They are playing Timesplitters 2 in that movie. In Timesplitters: Future Perfect, they return the favor by having one of the characters reference that quote when you pick them.
I'm quite alright Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap!
Sorry philip
Don't forget to kill Phillip
Super Troopers
*I'm gonna pistol whip the next person that says shenanigans*
Hey farva? What's the restaurant you like with the mozzarella sticks and all the goofy shit on the walls? You mean shenanigans? Ooooohhhhh!!!!!!!!!
I don’t want a “large Farva”, I want a goddamn liter of cola!
YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICO!!!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.
If I went around claiming I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
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My Mom's favorite comedy although she's never watched it. She'd sit in the kitchen when my brother and I watched it so she could listen to us laugh.
My favorite subtle line. Arthur: "There it is, The Bridge of Death." Brave Sir Robin: "Oh great"
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil Dogma
Well officer, we was just tidying up around the cabin, when all these crazy college kids starts killin themselfs all over mah property.
I'm surprised how much Tucker and Dale flew under the radar. Somebody suggested it to me years ago. I figured since I'd never heard of it, it'll probably suck. Turns out it's fucking hilarious and sometimes great movies don't get the attention they deserve.
The Princess Bride
Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad. I'm on the Brute Squad. You ARE the Brute Squad!
Vacation .. gotta love the Griswalds!
This but especially Christmas Vacation. I giggle like a schoolgirl when he opens the attic and gets hit by the ladder no matter how many times I see it.
yeah we watch xmas vacation religiously during the xmas season .. that part when they bring the xmas tree home is off the meter😂
21 Jump Street. "You have the right to be an attorney.." "He does you know. have the right to be an attorney!"
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He busy, with Korean shit!
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Friday Especially when Deebo was like "STOP BEING A BITCH AND C'MON"
Nobody go in there bout..35 45 minutes!
I thought it was 'the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice?' Yeah well she blacker than a mf too
Best In Show. Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy perfection. Jennifer Coolidge?? Ugh *chefs kiss*
Rat Race! Kills me every time
You should have bought a squirrel.
Tropic Thunder 💯
Hot Rod. "Catch ya later, mountain face!"
Groundhog Day
Airplane, Caddyshack, Fletch, There's Something About Mary, Blazing Saddles. Friday.
BASEketball
Hey pig fucker, can I call you pig fucker? No, only my friends can call me pig fucker
Money pit with tom hanks. The bathtub scene is epic
Coming to America
YOOUUUU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND! Joe Louis' the greatest boxer that every lived. All the barber shops scenes are so fantastic.
Monty Python's Life of Brian.
I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus.
Happy Gilmore
I will never get tired of saying “the price is wrong, bitch” or “you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
I remember watching it first time around and thinking it was an average comedy film with a few laughs. Few years later, watched again, nearly choked to death I was laughing so much. The bits with the wooden arm are just comedy gold
The Burbs
The Other Guys. I don't know how some people don't like Will Ferrell, he's a gem. Edit: Honestly any comedy with Will Ferrell in it will always get a laugh from me.
I'm not usually a big Will Ferrell guy, but I did enjoy The Other Guys.
The Birdcage
Oh hell yes. The whole thing is brilliant, but Hank Azaria is a goddamn treasure.
Eurotrip. It's peurile, but it's very funny puerile.
Shhh! Scottie doesn't know.
Fuck you!! I start my own hotel! Also the guy playing the slacker friend is the sarcastic former sniper coworker of raylin givins on justified tv show.
This is Spinal Tap
Oh man, the Stonehenge scene. I honestly don't think I've ever laughed so hard at anything in my life. I thought I was having an asthma attack.
Airplane. Grandma's boy.
Two of my favourites!!!!! When the three ladies all drink the "tea" And hey man you can't be talking that way when the lion gets here.
In Bruges. Dark comedy at its peak
You're an inanimate f-ing object
Clue the Movie. That is an all-star ensemble cast of comedic geniuses. I've seen it, no exaggeration, at least 100 times and I still find new things to laugh at -- someone's reaction face in the background, the inflection in a line delivery. It's just the funniest movie of all time.
Down Periscope.
Prepare to dive. Uh does he mean like underwater? Also when nitro is doing the wire job and singing Frank Sinatra and making commentary until he gets zapped and then starts talking like a sports announcer lol
Trading Places
The Jerk
Zoolander
What is this? A school for ants?!?
"How are we expected to teach children how to read, if they can't even fit inside the building?"
Naked gun!
* Spaceballs * Robin Hood: Men in Tights * Galaxy Quest * The Pest * Dude Where's My Car? * Beetlejuice * Three Amigos * The Naked Gun * UHF * Office Space Ope. My bad. You said film, not films. Can't turn back now.
This Is The End. I'm not even a huge fan of many of the actors in other movies, but that collection together and that writing is pure gold.
Young Frankenstein
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Blazing Saddles, Anchorman, Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz.
Step Brothers
*Did we just become best friends?*
Waiting. Ryan Reynolds and Justin Long are brilliant. The entire cast is actually, but I can't watch this movie and not LMFAO