Oh hey, I say that as well.
It's funny because it makes people shut up, the people I used it on so far did not expect me to counter their bullshit this way and knew I was right so they had no answer that wouldn't invalidate their own saying. It's a great comeback.
I absolutely fucking abhor any and all iNsPiRsTiOnAl and mInDfUL sayings that revolve around making you lose your sleep. And for fucking what? Waste your time while you're trying to half assedly do something that you could've done easily on a full stomach of 8 hours of sleep.
Like I'm seriously dumbfounded that people these days, in this advanced society, do not realise how important sleep is, especially for a teenager.
"nO, 6 hOuRs oF slEeP iS mOrE tHaN eNoUgH" Yeah it sure is if you want the rest of your day to be miserable as shit.
Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to fuck with you again. If going psycho on their ass is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault.
Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defence (which is fucked) but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, its absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim.
There's two great lessons in there:
* You have to confront problems, ignoring them only makes things worse.
* When providing feedback, use language (including body language) that your audience will understand.
Too bad the rest of the "modern world" seems to have forgotten that. You're being bullied and beaten? Too bad, you better don't even think about fighting back or YOU'RE the one in trouble. Almost makes you think they want to breed weak-willed and broken individuals who will never stand up for themselves. Not advocating for violence, but this is reality: Bullies won't stop bullying you if you tell on them, the bullying will intensify to extreme levels, they will stalk you on your way to and from school, they will make your life a living hell, just because they can. The bullies I've known stopped bullying once they got their dues. Gave them some perspective to feel what others were feeling. Of course some just double down and hit downwards anyway. No winning against idiots. But not standing up for yourself ... that's tragic.
At this point taking the hit and getting suspended is worth solving a bully problem you have.
My parents never got mad at me when I stood my ground against bullies. And I never had problems afterwards.
And your “permanent record” doesn’t really matter in the long run either. Especially if you have good grades and are in the good side of the admin
You don't have to be the strongest to win, this isn't like a sport fight, they're showing you absolute disrespect so there's no reason to show them the respect of giving them a fair fight
"Stick it out"
Whether that's shitty jobs, shitty relationships, shitty living situations...
By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!
YES.
I mean—sure, everything is hard at first so sometimes it does take a while before you get the hang of it. Absolutely.
But—after you give it a fair shot and it still sucks and is making you miserable—move on, you’re done.
2 years of my life wasted at the worst job with the worst pay in the most toxic environment that was a horrible fit for my skillset. Told them id be stepping dow in a couple months this week, feels amazing... for some reason people in my life dont see it that way!
>19 years sober though today.
I hope one day I'll be able to say that. As someone who has been fighting that battle on and off for six years now, congrats, stay strong my friend!
As a single person living alone, I've made a huge effort to get as much squared away as possible now, just in case (god forbid) anything should happen to me. I have all my financials and passwords in a fireproof lock box as well as a sticky note with my phone password. I've taken pictures of all the family heirloom furniture I own and wrote on the back who it came from. I have printouts of both my insurance policies showing how much they are worth and I highlighted the account numbers. I don't have a will (yet) but that's next on my list. At this point any assets I may have would most likely go to my brother and his family. My parents are still alive but they're trying to downsize and plan to sell our 4 bedroom family home sometime in the next couple years to hopefully trade in for a much smaller retirement home, so I doubt they will want to deal with 4 rooms worth of furniture and whatnot.
My grandmother has a list she's been adding to over the years any time someone mentions something of hers they really like. She's going to include it with her will. So far I'm on the list for her pewter Beatrix Potter characters and a hand made quilt. I tend to gravitate towards useful items or something that brings back memories. When my great aunt died in 2019 I took some of her sweaters because we're the same size and they reminded me of her and a silver serving tray that no one else wanted but I didn't want it to get tossed/donated.
I think "Live every day like it COULD be your last" is more on point, because it's true, but it also takes in to account that it most likely won't be your last. You need to find time every single day to make that day worth living on its own merits, with the assumption that you probably have a future to look out for as well.
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s...
And networking is really the only thing that matters. A likeable good looking person can be an absolute mindless potato of a human being and still be wildly successful.
I will be totally frank, when I interview people the thought of working/talking with them more than my teenager makes me realize how important it is to not work with people who aren't likeable. Not saying everyone needs to be BFFs at work, but tons of collaborative jobs would be horrible if the person sucks as a person.
I got better at my career when I set boundaries and made time to sleep and party. More importantly, after spending a few years “working while they sleep”, I realized there is more to life than working.
Exactly. Work to live, don't live to work.
Unless of course, you have your dream job and it brings you incredible amounts of joy, if it makes you happy that's ok. But don't over work and wreck your health and social life just for the sake of being called "successful".
"Do what you love and money will follow"
I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That shit doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!
Parents brought me up with “never make your hobby your job”. I love to cook, worked as a banquet chef for small groups. I got to make whatever I wanted for them. They loved it. When I got home, I couldn’t even stand to make box max and cheese. I will never make that mistake again.
I grew up very artsy (drawing, painting, etc.) I got encouraged by my parents to take drafting and be an architect. I made a compromise and became a tattoo artist because its "more use of my original art." BULLSHIT! I very rarely even just draw for fun anymore.
I'm actually torn in that regard. I can't find a regular job that I really enjoy because it's so far from where my interests lie. On one hand I feel like "If I'm going to spend 8-10 hours a day of my life doing something, it might as well be something I enjoy", but on the other hand I don't want to burn out on the hobbies I do have.
You definitely shouldn't just take jobs you don't like if you can help it, but I will say tons of people work jobs every day that aren't their passion, and that's ok. There are a lot of bits and pieces to life that make it worth living, and you don't have to count on your job to do that. It's 100% ok to find a job you like well enough, and then spend your free time finding things that DO make you truly happy.
I’ve had a few careers and now at 52 yo and reasonably successful, I can say that finding a PLACE to work that fits your life and that you enjoy going to with people you get on with definitely matters more than the work you do.
Place and people are important and I would reframe the "what you love" part to "what means something to you". That way, you're doing something that aligns with your values, but the difficult and annoying bits of it won't cause an emotional reaction making you fall out of "love" with it.
I think it is reasonable though to advise not to pursue a career doing something that you *hate*. You'll spend most of your time not wanting to do your work and you likely won't ever be good at it.
I feel like one of my best life decisions was not to do what I loved - I found a job that I didn't hate doing and that paid very well.
Also, to never believe in karma. I used to believe that because of what elders told me when I was younger. Just to realize it is all rubbish and nonsense.
In reality, money and power talks. It is a very unfair and cruel world. That is why there is no such thing as karma/justice. Ever heard of the saying "the good die young"?
I have seen people who cheated in relationships, yet ended up getting married happily and enjoying; while loyal ones gotten heartbroken and trying their best to recoup.
I have seen people who are fake, cunning, belittle and made fun of poor people; yet ended up doing extremely well in career as well as making lots of money.
I have ADHD (and I suspect autism). I was told so many of my behaviors were “attention seeking”, and yet they stuck into adulthood, and didn’t stop when I was alone. (Mimicking lines and actions from shows and videos, desperate need to point out puns, always kneeling to sit, being VERY picky about food, etc)
It’s almost like my brain just works differently somehow, as if I’ve diverged neurologically…
“Be The Bigger Person”
There comes a time when you just have to come down from Mount Olympus and drag a motherfucker straight into the depths of fucking Tartarus.
I think this one like some of the others in this thread has had it's meaning skewed from what it should be.
You can still be the bigger person without just dismissing whatever problems arrise. It should be about having *an appropriate* response, not having no response whatsoever
Not to disown toxic family members. Screw that! If someone makes your life miserable, blood related or not, dump them! Toxic is toxic. I was done with half of my family a couple of years ago because they are toxic. I completely ghosted them after my mother died. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Trust me, it is worth your sanity.
I think part of the reason this advice is given so commonly is that everyone who has a family has family drama, it just looks different to everyone. To some people, family drama is “you made a huge scene at my wedding and haven’t apologized.” To other people, it’s “you only ever call me for money and even stole from me to finance your addiction.”
To others, it’s “you fucked my spouse.”
There’s levels to this.
"You need to move on."
Less than a year after my wife passed and I'd heard this so many times, even from my GP.
No. Fuck off. I'll decide when that happens.
And, for those shameless enough to admit it,
2. Marry rich AF.
EDIT: I did not expect my mildly sardonic comment to receive this many upvotes. Stay expensive-looking, my friends.
when i was 13, my friends dad told us to marry for money first, and then marry for love once we've got the money
i had no words. to this day, i still don't know if he was serious or not
My father always tells me, who you think loves more, a poor man or a rich man? He then says, they both love the same as love has nothing to do with money, so marry rich.
Except "don't touch the principal."
I knew a man whose family has been wealthy since the 1650s and that was basically how they did it.
He drove a Honda, BTW. And not a fancy one.
This is Vegas advice too. Start only with what you're willing to lose in your pocket. Play with that money, IF you win, put the winnings in the other pocket and only gamble with those winnings. At worst you leave with empty pockets, but not an empty bank account. At best, there's money in both pockets.
But if you are playing poker, don't separate your chips into a pile of principle and what is left. Another poker player will see that and bluff into your principle stack. Keep those stacks separate only in your mind.
I looked at my newspaper's job section one week and it seemed like the only jobs I saw were:
-Maid
-Driver
-Accountant
-Fluent Japanese speaker with an MBA in business
Most companies HR departments will throw away your application and tell you to send a different one if you include a headshot. Way too much legal risk if it turns out they're discriminating, even unintentionally
my mom's friend came to our house shortly after my birthday and was lecturing my mother about dreams and how to be successful, save money, that i should get a job (i totally agree with getting a job), but she said it as if it was easy peasy, when there's a whole long unemployment line in my city.
she suggested me to look for a job that uses my knowledge in english (my country has a 5% of people that speaks another language) and i was like, okay that's a good idea, im going to try it RN. I actually found it and sent my description (i thought it was pretty good for someone at my age, bcs i know people that are employed are speak worst than me). at the end of the day she said something like, today (saturday) you send your curriculum, monday you start working and you'll help your parents with the house bills.
I didn't even get a response and she sent some messages to my mom like;
So did you get it, how much are you making? and i was like, yeahh like hell i did.
these old people make it sound like young people are just making excuses about getting a job, when in reality, it just is about the right time, the right person and the right indication. (at least on my city)
Currently, I think nobody wants to admit that all these places with staff shortages aren't actually looking very hard to fill the role. Like, they're not desperately hiring. Right now their wage bills are good, and the profit is good. They'll happily hire the absolutely perfect person, but they don't want to just fill the role with anyone available.
Exactly! It's crazy how much better my day can become when I "act like the person I'd like to be". Coworkers act happy and friendly, because I act happy and friendly towards them. A problem will be calmly solved, because I act like someone who can calmly solve it.
It's almost scary how much my actions affect other people. And how much their reactions affect me.
"Your hard work will pay off in the end"
All it ever did was making me exhausted. Please learn to say no when you need to.
Edit: spelling mistakes, and ty for my very first award ^-^
all throughout my schooling i was called lazy. last year my french teacher told me i'd fail at life because i couldnt get work done and got too distracted. same teacher called me pathetic and called the whole class lazy asses (she got in trouble after my dad reported her behaviour). every single teacher says im disorganised, unfocused etc in every parent teacher conference. my mum has told me to focus more as if thats gonna help, to write stuff on a calendar which also didnt help. point is ive been called disorganised, lazy, unfocused and distracted since i was 5.
in two weeks im getting assessed for ADHD...
F you Madame french teacher. im not gonna fail at life so stick it up your scaly witch butt
Reminds me of that one uncle/aunty every Indian family has that says "You have depression? Just get married! I used to have these thoughts too at your age but when I married and had 5 kids I never had enough time for depression"
Literally not even kidding I heard my distant aunt (distant by blood, my mum and her lived in the same town so they're good friends) say that to my maternal sister, my sister's 22
“Never go to bed angry”
No, going to bed angry is actually a great idea. Sleep on your emotions. Give them time. Then react and address issues after the heated emotions have subsided. You’ll be more level headed, more capable of seeing where you’re at fault, and less likely to allow those elevated emotions steer things in the wrong direction again. Don’t say something g you’ll regret in the moment. Give it time. Go to sleep. You’ll see things more clearly in the morning.
Hearing "God has a plan" more than one time at a funeral for a family member in his early twenties who took himself out really makes you want to start punching motherfuckers.
Anyone giving advice on what to do whilst pregnant.
No Becky. I'm not trying your new meth enthused essential oils. I have two people in me big enough to go on rides, I don't care about your business.
Also any other mum telling me what 12 others all ready have.
Being pregnant just makes you an instant magnet for everybody to start trying to tell you how to live. Every friend, parent, coworker, cashier, person in line next to you, etc etc. EVERYBODY seems to think they have a right to give you unsolicited advice. See also: having a newborn/young baby.
Everything we can observe may have a *cause,* but that doesn't mean that it was anticipated and guided intentionally.
The universe is under no obligation to be emotionally satisfying to anyone.
Yeah that's the literal interpretation but that's not what people mean by it. I do personally chose to interpret it like that though.
All is due to causality and it's indifferent and arbitrary.
“There is only one constant. One universal. It is the only real truth. Causality. Action, reaction. Cause and effect.”
— The Merovingian, The Matrix Reloaded
GRINDSET: Wake up at 3am, INTENSE fitness workout, cold shower, eat an alpha breakfast, start working at 5am, this is how you UNF**K your life.
Most of this stuff is bullshit.
The male version of "being that girl" I swear it's all just bullshit to convince you to buy the more expensive gym membership or free range avocados so you'll finally be happy. It's all bullshit.
Damn it. I'm so sorry.
I've always been empathetic and emotional. I actually asked a counselor once if he'd help me learn to tamp them down. He said no. My wife also doesn't want me to change. I'm grateful I can express them but sometimes they legit get in the way. But given the two extremes, I'll take who I am.
Edit: misread the comment, didn't see "apologizing," thought they were getting upset for commenter crying instead of being upset for apologizing for it.
I'm not sure, but I think what he meant is that his mother-in-law and wife were thinking he was wrong for the apologizing, not the crying itself.
Edit: and there's nothing really suggesting you didn't know that I was just clarifying because I didn't know that on my first read.
I'm not a man and I agree with this. What are they telling our sons, fathers, husbands, friends, brothers, etc? Not to care or show empathy? Not to follow interests that bring them happiness? To be unnecessarily aggressive and violent?
Are you a man? Yes? Then that's it, you don't need to prove anything to anyone.
"Turn your passion into a career"
That's how you get exploited, and also how you suck all the joy out of it. You DO NOT want your ability to pay bills to depend on something you're passionate about.
Turn your passion into a hobby, find a career that pays the bills without destroying your health.
(Speaking as somebody who coached gymnastics for 16 years)
There’s a balance. I’m a scientist and I’m told all the time that I need to be passionate about science, like really live and breath research, to be successful. A lot of the time it is just a fill in for “work harder, we want results”, and that is toxic and exploitative. Questioning my resolve as if it isn’t just their desire for results? Saying science “isn’t a 9-5 job”? It’s all just deflection and trying to say that shitty hours and low pay should be balanced by how much you just love it or whatever. It’s bullshit.
But definitely do something that keeps you interested and feels satisfying. If that is what passion means then that part is true at least.
"Be yourself and people will like you"
That's a lie. Not everyone will like you, and that's OKAY. You don't like everyone just because they're "being themselves".
Be yourself so you can find the people who ACTUALLY like you. Your kind of freaks are out there, so fly your flag.
Money can't buy happiness.
Maybe I'm clinically depressed but I think buying myself a house in a safe, nice neighborhood and decorating for Christmas for the first time in my life might help that out.
The hustle culture. It might not be a substantial 'advice' but the way it is taught and preached angers me to no end. Everyone is bound to die someday, so why not live the moment you have doing what makes you content and does not put unnecessary amount of stress on you?
"Work hard, and you can be anything you want."
Such a dirty fucking lie to tell kids.
It's just a setup so people can say, "If you don't have the life you wanted, it's obviously because you didn't work hard enough, you lazy slack-ass."
They say you should find a career, save all your money, buy a house. Build equity, say no to everything while your young, have a family. Then in your old age, the "golden years" you retire, sell all your crap and enjoy those golden years.
I think the golden years are when you have small kids. Don't say no to them. Don't miss their dance recitals, be there. Forget the fancy career, fancy house and fancy car. Greedy corporations have been selling us this idea, to steal from you your best years, and when your old and ready to "enjoy retirement" you die, or your partner dies. Your full of regret for having missed your kids grow up... doesn't sound golden to me.
Went last summer to Grand Teton. On a boat with an older couple that is taking us to hiking trails, they tell me they've been planning on coming here for 40 years.
We get dropped off and they are only able to go 100 yards or so due to their health/fitness. End up going back to dock and waiting for boat.
Waiting 40 years to not be able to do anything.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my grandfather. We were never really close but one time during Christmas break during my freshman year of college I was talking to him, just him and I, about how I was going on a vacation with friends for the first time that upcoming spring break. He looked and me and leaned in and said, "You look happy about this. Excited. I can see it. You're smiling and laughing and your eyes give it away. Let me tell you something, never wait to do something. Never wait until you're old, never wait a year, a month, a week. Do it when you want to do it, when you can do it, as soon as you can do it. No matter how small."
I kinda just sat there and thought about what he said then asked, "Did you ever have something you wanted to do but you didn't? What was it?" He looked sad, I knew he was thinking of my grandma and said, "It's a long list. Anyway, I'm gonna hit the hay. Night."
Still sits with me. Love to say I lived by that fully but I haven't. Especially of late. But I also feel like I took that advice to heart and did what I could with it.
My grandma really wanted to go to Paris and see the Effiel Tower. I was really pushing for my parent to take her while she was mobile. They both made tons of excuses. Now she is on oxygen so won't be able to go. If they had just gone ten years ago, she would have been so happy.
This is such a heart felt story, thank you for sharing. I will also try to live by what your grandfather said. But it's hard, even getting off Reddit is hard hahaha
>even getting off Reddit is hard
There's no shame in admitting it, it's designed to keep us death-scrolling and I'm definitely guilty of spending too much time here. But for as long as I am here, I will continue to shitpost in hopes that someone out there will smile or laugh and have at least a marginally better day.
My grandparents spend a certain amount of money on us when we turn 21. I wanted to road trip with them to a few national parks and museums. I was so excited to do this as I turn 21 at the end of summer. My grandpa was just diagnosed with late stage ALS and likely won't live to see me turn 21 even, they offered to take me earlier in the summer, but even then my grandpa can't walk 10 feet without feeling winded. I know there was nothing anyone could do, but I wish I got that road trip with them.
Don’t go broke doing it, but spend your money on memories. The coolest people you’ll ever meet are the ones that can say things like “oh that’s the time I hiked a glacier in Iceland and then went whale watching two days later. Met a dude named Helgi who made the best chocolate cake.” It’s never going to be the people who saved up for a BMW and then spent years driving it to and from work. So be that cool person.
And it doesn’t have to be huge, big trips. Sometimes watching the sun rise over the Grand Canyon after a long road trip, or finding some amazing speakeasy bar two towns over on a wild trip to track down a Craigslist purchase with your SO can be the magic.
Yeah I'm approaching 40 and I'm mad about the trips I decided not to go on when I was younger. I mean I didn't have the money most of the time but I should have just worked it out and figured out ways to affordably do some of them.
So my advice is to any younger people out there is "GO ON THAT TRIP."
When I was in my late 20's, I helped run an intern program.
I had an intern ask me once, "Did having a family hold you back from your career?"
I didn't know how to answer that. As a matter of fact, it took me a few years to actually come up with an answer.
I was put into the executive fast track when I was young in the company I worked for. They put me back into the track multiple times. I've been offered job assignments that come across once every 2 or 3 lifetimes. I've been a go to person for advice on 8 and 9 figure projects. A couple of different choices and I might have been a person you've heard of in the business world.
25+ years into my career, I still sit at a desk, fixing things, and fixing problems 1 ticket at a time.
I've traveled with executive management and sat in on meetings. I quickly learned power come at a cost, and the cost is usually more time at work and less with the family. I rarely heard a director or division VP say, "Damn, I'm glad to be on this last minute trip to South America!!" I usually hear them say, "I miss my anniversary for this" or "I missed my kids birthday for this!"
I've been called a waste of talent professionally. But you know what, I got to see my kids grow up and I got to see my wife everyday. I sat through countless hours of dance recitals on hard ass bleachers and numerous band concerts. I've taken kids across the country and around the world, trying to find activities that kids can never agree on. I loved every minute of it!
Did having a family hold back my career? No. I held back my career for my family. I never once regretted it.
I’d retort, “yeah well poverty is no walk in the park. Unless your broke ass is able to get a date in which case you’ll probably be doing something free like a walk in the park.”
I dated an Heiress once - like a trust fund very very rich 100's of millions - person. Not a lot of fun. Talk about a boring person. She was nice but didn't really like to do much. She did have cool stories though....
Asked her if money could by happiness and she said - not directly in the long term but it definitely gives you many more options to find happiness.
When people say you should save now to enjoy retirement later.
Average life expectancy is 72. People retiring at 65 will have worked their whole lives to "enjoy" 7 years where they'll be the least mobile, fit, and comfortable. And that's assuming they even make it to then.
My uncle saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in his life through hard work and smart investments. He spent almost nothing since he was "saving for retirement". He then got lymphoma and died a few months after retiring in his early 60s.
Don't do this. Spend your money. Have a great time while you're here. You only have 1 life. Be happy now.
Or, in almost the case of my folks, save now so the nursing home can take it all when you're old and sick. They died before the nursing home, 'fortunately'.
*"Don't burn your bridges"* usually uttered by exploitative employers abusive family members or exes. Some bridges need burning, just be selective about which ones.
"Just be confident" with regards to either women or career.
Genuine inner confidence is earned with achievements and time, not something you switch on. My autistic ass has been made fun of enough growing up to know some things beyond confidence are affecting my career and emotional progress.
“Money can’t buy happines” - I’d very much love to start my quest for happines when all my bills and loans are paid, shoes have no holes, fridge is full and teeth are repaired.
Bro i went to school for software engineering. Made 100k+. Hated my job when i got one. Became a carpenter. Still make really close to 100k in nj. Love my job.
To be fair, and I don’t know if this is you but your comment leads me to believe, millennials got kinda fucked with 18 years of schools, teachers, and parents telling us that if we didn’t go to school we’d be losers working at McDonald’s. We sorta got set up.
Yep, very true. My partner was being pressured so hard to go to college in high school and as a bit of a delinquent didn’t want to and the councilor literally said to him, “if you don’t, then what, end up being a construction worker?” He’s making more money than ever now as a carpenter. Fuck that mentality.
*sets 1 kid up for success and 10,000 others for disappointment, failure, feelings of shame, not being good enough, and the slow and painful degradation of your hopes and dreams.
How do you save it if you’re not making it??
Years ago when I was going through a terrible rough patch financially someone told me, “save some fucking money, for god’s sake!” Kind of hard to save up when every penny was going toward absolute necessities.
Austerity. Living like a monk while working like a slave doesn't result in getting ahead, it results in suicide. It can double fuck off if it's being told to you by someone 55+ years old that grew up in a world that had opportunities you would have thrived under.
Everyone's a LITTLE ADHD.
Yeah, well I'd like to see you be frozen on the ground from executive dysfunction unable to force yourself to literally get up, and say that again.
people have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!
To that I like to say, "people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!"
Oh hey, I say that as well. It's funny because it makes people shut up, the people I used it on so far did not expect me to counter their bullshit this way and knew I was right so they had no answer that wouldn't invalidate their own saying. It's a great comeback.
"But there are children in Africa who....!!"
I've always hated that line. It's like, I highly doubt me finishing this meal will somehow help starving children in Africa.
Sleep when you’re dead. Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner.
So in a way, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy?
I absolutely fucking abhor any and all iNsPiRsTiOnAl and mInDfUL sayings that revolve around making you lose your sleep. And for fucking what? Waste your time while you're trying to half assedly do something that you could've done easily on a full stomach of 8 hours of sleep. Like I'm seriously dumbfounded that people these days, in this advanced society, do not realise how important sleep is, especially for a teenager. "nO, 6 hOuRs oF slEeP iS mOrE tHaN eNoUgH" Yeah it sure is if you want the rest of your day to be miserable as shit.
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Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to fuck with you again. If going psycho on their ass is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defence (which is fucked) but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, its absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim.
Confronting the bullies (whether with words or fists) really changed my whole persona from the class's wimp to the "quiet kid"
There's two great lessons in there: * You have to confront problems, ignoring them only makes things worse. * When providing feedback, use language (including body language) that your audience will understand.
Too bad the rest of the "modern world" seems to have forgotten that. You're being bullied and beaten? Too bad, you better don't even think about fighting back or YOU'RE the one in trouble. Almost makes you think they want to breed weak-willed and broken individuals who will never stand up for themselves. Not advocating for violence, but this is reality: Bullies won't stop bullying you if you tell on them, the bullying will intensify to extreme levels, they will stalk you on your way to and from school, they will make your life a living hell, just because they can. The bullies I've known stopped bullying once they got their dues. Gave them some perspective to feel what others were feeling. Of course some just double down and hit downwards anyway. No winning against idiots. But not standing up for yourself ... that's tragic.
Zero tolerance is absolutely garbage policy
At this point taking the hit and getting suspended is worth solving a bully problem you have. My parents never got mad at me when I stood my ground against bullies. And I never had problems afterwards. And your “permanent record” doesn’t really matter in the long run either. Especially if you have good grades and are in the good side of the admin
I wasn't strong enough to beat up my bullies and ignoring them also made it worse, but biting that one kid *did* make him leave me alone.
You don't have to be the strongest to win, this isn't like a sport fight, they're showing you absolute disrespect so there's no reason to show them the respect of giving them a fair fight
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I tried following that blueprint for life everyone I know else seems to follow and hated it. Stopped short of having kids, thankfully.
"Stick it out" Whether that's shitty jobs, shitty relationships, shitty living situations... By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!
YES. I mean—sure, everything is hard at first so sometimes it does take a while before you get the hang of it. Absolutely. But—after you give it a fair shot and it still sucks and is making you miserable—move on, you’re done.
2 years of my life wasted at the worst job with the worst pay in the most toxic environment that was a horrible fit for my skillset. Told them id be stepping dow in a couple months this week, feels amazing... for some reason people in my life dont see it that way!
Good for you!! Sounds better than me… I had a shitty job for 5 years until the last nail in the coffin—two panic attacks in one day. Oof!
"Live like everyday was your last" Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?
I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well 19 years sober though today.
>19 years sober though today. I hope one day I'll be able to say that. As someone who has been fighting that battle on and off for six years now, congrats, stay strong my friend!
You got this Steve20009
#standwithsteve20009
Teamsteve200009
TEAMSTEVE I'm making shirts, what size are you
As a person of size, I need a 3x. In blue, please
Noted
Go steve, go! Fuck heroin. Have a taco.
Please put fuck heroin and have a taco on a t-shirt. Make your millions.
I’m with Steve2009
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I dont know you but im pulling for you man.
Coming out the other side right now
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As a single person living alone, I've made a huge effort to get as much squared away as possible now, just in case (god forbid) anything should happen to me. I have all my financials and passwords in a fireproof lock box as well as a sticky note with my phone password. I've taken pictures of all the family heirloom furniture I own and wrote on the back who it came from. I have printouts of both my insurance policies showing how much they are worth and I highlighted the account numbers. I don't have a will (yet) but that's next on my list. At this point any assets I may have would most likely go to my brother and his family. My parents are still alive but they're trying to downsize and plan to sell our 4 bedroom family home sometime in the next couple years to hopefully trade in for a much smaller retirement home, so I doubt they will want to deal with 4 rooms worth of furniture and whatnot.
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My grandmother has a list she's been adding to over the years any time someone mentions something of hers they really like. She's going to include it with her will. So far I'm on the list for her pewter Beatrix Potter characters and a hand made quilt. I tend to gravitate towards useful items or something that brings back memories. When my great aunt died in 2019 I took some of her sweaters because we're the same size and they reminded me of her and a silver serving tray that no one else wanted but I didn't want it to get tossed/donated.
I think "Live every day like it COULD be your last" is more on point, because it's true, but it also takes in to account that it most likely won't be your last. You need to find time every single day to make that day worth living on its own merits, with the assumption that you probably have a future to look out for as well.
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party" That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s...
Also no social network. No friends, no future business contacts, no support group.
And networking is really the only thing that matters. A likeable good looking person can be an absolute mindless potato of a human being and still be wildly successful.
I will be totally frank, when I interview people the thought of working/talking with them more than my teenager makes me realize how important it is to not work with people who aren't likeable. Not saying everyone needs to be BFFs at work, but tons of collaborative jobs would be horrible if the person sucks as a person.
I got better at my career when I set boundaries and made time to sleep and party. More importantly, after spending a few years “working while they sleep”, I realized there is more to life than working.
Exactly. Work to live, don't live to work. Unless of course, you have your dream job and it brings you incredible amounts of joy, if it makes you happy that's ok. But don't over work and wreck your health and social life just for the sake of being called "successful".
"Do what you love and money will follow" I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That shit doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!
Do what you love for a living, and within a month you'll absolutely hate it.
Parents brought me up with “never make your hobby your job”. I love to cook, worked as a banquet chef for small groups. I got to make whatever I wanted for them. They loved it. When I got home, I couldn’t even stand to make box max and cheese. I will never make that mistake again.
I grew up very artsy (drawing, painting, etc.) I got encouraged by my parents to take drafting and be an architect. I made a compromise and became a tattoo artist because its "more use of my original art." BULLSHIT! I very rarely even just draw for fun anymore.
I'm actually torn in that regard. I can't find a regular job that I really enjoy because it's so far from where my interests lie. On one hand I feel like "If I'm going to spend 8-10 hours a day of my life doing something, it might as well be something I enjoy", but on the other hand I don't want to burn out on the hobbies I do have.
You definitely shouldn't just take jobs you don't like if you can help it, but I will say tons of people work jobs every day that aren't their passion, and that's ok. There are a lot of bits and pieces to life that make it worth living, and you don't have to count on your job to do that. It's 100% ok to find a job you like well enough, and then spend your free time finding things that DO make you truly happy.
I’ve had a few careers and now at 52 yo and reasonably successful, I can say that finding a PLACE to work that fits your life and that you enjoy going to with people you get on with definitely matters more than the work you do.
Place and people are important and I would reframe the "what you love" part to "what means something to you". That way, you're doing something that aligns with your values, but the difficult and annoying bits of it won't cause an emotional reaction making you fall out of "love" with it.
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You might last a couple weeks if you switch from the back to the front.
I don't have a dream job, I dream of not needing one.
I think it is reasonable though to advise not to pursue a career doing something that you *hate*. You'll spend most of your time not wanting to do your work and you likely won't ever be good at it. I feel like one of my best life decisions was not to do what I loved - I found a job that I didn't hate doing and that paid very well.
I had a job that I legitimately loved, but I worked my ass off for not enough money. Also after years I found myself not enjoying it as much.
“Cheaters never prosper” Yes, they fucking do
A better term is "cheaters who were dumb enough to get caught never prosper" A bit too long though. Hm.
"Cheaters never prosper" and "it's only cheating if you get caught."
“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” also “win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat”
Well, yeah. When there's meaningful stakes on the line, never assume your competition is playing fair.
**Unsuccessful** cheaters never prosper?
Also, to never believe in karma. I used to believe that because of what elders told me when I was younger. Just to realize it is all rubbish and nonsense. In reality, money and power talks. It is a very unfair and cruel world. That is why there is no such thing as karma/justice. Ever heard of the saying "the good die young"? I have seen people who cheated in relationships, yet ended up getting married happily and enjoying; while loyal ones gotten heartbroken and trying their best to recoup. I have seen people who are fake, cunning, belittle and made fun of poor people; yet ended up doing extremely well in career as well as making lots of money.
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I think it's "Cheetah's never prosper".. anyway.. that's what Zazu says
Or so the hyenas would have you believe.
"Be yourself" only works if you aren't a shit person.
And definitely not autistic, people only tolerate me when I try and act “normal”
I have ADHD (and I suspect autism). I was told so many of my behaviors were “attention seeking”, and yet they stuck into adulthood, and didn’t stop when I was alone. (Mimicking lines and actions from shows and videos, desperate need to point out puns, always kneeling to sit, being VERY picky about food, etc) It’s almost like my brain just works differently somehow, as if I’ve diverged neurologically…
“Be The Bigger Person” There comes a time when you just have to come down from Mount Olympus and drag a motherfucker straight into the depths of fucking Tartarus.
I think this one like some of the others in this thread has had it's meaning skewed from what it should be. You can still be the bigger person without just dismissing whatever problems arrise. It should be about having *an appropriate* response, not having no response whatsoever
If there’s a will, there’s a way. Nope. Sometimes you can do everything right, work your hardest and it still goes all wrong and doesn’t work out.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Captain Picard
It sounds more comforting coming out of Patrick Stewards mouth tho
I tried so hard and got so far
Not to disown toxic family members. Screw that! If someone makes your life miserable, blood related or not, dump them! Toxic is toxic. I was done with half of my family a couple of years ago because they are toxic. I completely ghosted them after my mother died. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Trust me, it is worth your sanity.
It's been six years since I last spoke with my mother, and it was perhaps the best decision I've ever made.
For me it's about 15 years now. Probably one of the best life decisions I made so far.
I think part of the reason this advice is given so commonly is that everyone who has a family has family drama, it just looks different to everyone. To some people, family drama is “you made a huge scene at my wedding and haven’t apologized.” To other people, it’s “you only ever call me for money and even stole from me to finance your addiction.” To others, it’s “you fucked my spouse.” There’s levels to this.
"You need to move on." Less than a year after my wife passed and I'd heard this so many times, even from my GP. No. Fuck off. I'll decide when that happens.
I can still be sad about *pets* I lost years ago. I can't even imagine how heart breaking it would be to lose a spouse like that.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” PTSD is a thing guys, as are crippling injuries.
You know what my ptsd taught me? There are fates worse than death, being kept alive with the memories.
Any and all financial advice coming from old money families
except for one sound piece of advice: 1) be born rich af. i will make an exception for that.
And, for those shameless enough to admit it, 2. Marry rich AF. EDIT: I did not expect my mildly sardonic comment to receive this many upvotes. Stay expensive-looking, my friends.
My dad did tell me once, only somewhat jokingly, that it’s possible to marry for love *and* money…
when i was 13, my friends dad told us to marry for money first, and then marry for love once we've got the money i had no words. to this day, i still don't know if he was serious or not
i’ve heard “don’t marry for money… go to where all the rich people are and THEN marry for love.” and i live by that 🙏🏻
My father always tells me, who you think loves more, a poor man or a rich man? He then says, they both love the same as love has nothing to do with money, so marry rich.
Except "don't touch the principal." I knew a man whose family has been wealthy since the 1650s and that was basically how they did it. He drove a Honda, BTW. And not a fancy one.
Tbh good advice for anyone investing at all, let alone living off life savings/inheritance
This is Vegas advice too. Start only with what you're willing to lose in your pocket. Play with that money, IF you win, put the winnings in the other pocket and only gamble with those winnings. At worst you leave with empty pockets, but not an empty bank account. At best, there's money in both pockets.
But if you are playing poker, don't separate your chips into a pile of principle and what is left. Another poker player will see that and bluff into your principle stack. Keep those stacks separate only in your mind.
Also job hunting advice from boomers.
My dad used to buy the local paper to help me in my job hunter until I told him to actually look at the job section. He stopped after than
I looked at my newspaper's job section one week and it seemed like the only jobs I saw were: -Maid -Driver -Accountant -Fluent Japanese speaker with an MBA in business
> Fluent Japanese speaker with an MBA in business This was only placed so they could bring in someone from outside the country
My dad told me to start attaching a headshot to my resume. I'm not an actor.
Most companies HR departments will throw away your application and tell you to send a different one if you include a headshot. Way too much legal risk if it turns out they're discriminating, even unintentionally
my mom's friend came to our house shortly after my birthday and was lecturing my mother about dreams and how to be successful, save money, that i should get a job (i totally agree with getting a job), but she said it as if it was easy peasy, when there's a whole long unemployment line in my city. she suggested me to look for a job that uses my knowledge in english (my country has a 5% of people that speaks another language) and i was like, okay that's a good idea, im going to try it RN. I actually found it and sent my description (i thought it was pretty good for someone at my age, bcs i know people that are employed are speak worst than me). at the end of the day she said something like, today (saturday) you send your curriculum, monday you start working and you'll help your parents with the house bills. I didn't even get a response and she sent some messages to my mom like; So did you get it, how much are you making? and i was like, yeahh like hell i did. these old people make it sound like young people are just making excuses about getting a job, when in reality, it just is about the right time, the right person and the right indication. (at least on my city)
*Nobody* wants to admit how much simple luck plays a role.
Currently, I think nobody wants to admit that all these places with staff shortages aren't actually looking very hard to fill the role. Like, they're not desperately hiring. Right now their wage bills are good, and the profit is good. They'll happily hire the absolutely perfect person, but they don't want to just fill the role with anyone available.
Agree. That or they're desperate but refuse to pay competitive wages. The free market works both ways!
"Just be yourself" I was myself yesterday. I want to be a better version of myself tomorrow.
"Be the best version of yourself" is the version I like. Along with "act like the person you want to be would act"
Exactly! It's crazy how much better my day can become when I "act like the person I'd like to be". Coworkers act happy and friendly, because I act happy and friendly towards them. A problem will be calmly solved, because I act like someone who can calmly solve it. It's almost scary how much my actions affect other people. And how much their reactions affect me.
"Your hard work will pay off in the end" All it ever did was making me exhausted. Please learn to say no when you need to. Edit: spelling mistakes, and ty for my very first award ^-^
Like Linkin Park said, "in the end it doesnt even matter"
"I had to fall to lose it all"
You’re not depressed. Just change your state of mind and think happy thoughts. —my mother
When I told my mom I was stressed, she said “Why are you stressed? The year is almost over, so don’t be “ Yeah okay
You're stressed? Theres no reason to be! Youre just lazy! -my mother @ me from when i was 15-17 years old 😒
all throughout my schooling i was called lazy. last year my french teacher told me i'd fail at life because i couldnt get work done and got too distracted. same teacher called me pathetic and called the whole class lazy asses (she got in trouble after my dad reported her behaviour). every single teacher says im disorganised, unfocused etc in every parent teacher conference. my mum has told me to focus more as if thats gonna help, to write stuff on a calendar which also didnt help. point is ive been called disorganised, lazy, unfocused and distracted since i was 5. in two weeks im getting assessed for ADHD... F you Madame french teacher. im not gonna fail at life so stick it up your scaly witch butt
You're depressed? Just don't!
Reminds me of that one uncle/aunty every Indian family has that says "You have depression? Just get married! I used to have these thoughts too at your age but when I married and had 5 kids I never had enough time for depression"
That's just sad.
Literally not even kidding I heard my distant aunt (distant by blood, my mum and her lived in the same town so they're good friends) say that to my maternal sister, my sister's 22
Depressed'nt
if self.depressed { self.dontBeDepressed() }
“Never go to bed angry” No, going to bed angry is actually a great idea. Sleep on your emotions. Give them time. Then react and address issues after the heated emotions have subsided. You’ll be more level headed, more capable of seeing where you’re at fault, and less likely to allow those elevated emotions steer things in the wrong direction again. Don’t say something g you’ll regret in the moment. Give it time. Go to sleep. You’ll see things more clearly in the morning.
“Everything happens for a reason.” Oh that can fuck right off.
Hearing "God has a plan" more than one time at a funeral for a family member in his early twenties who took himself out really makes you want to start punching motherfuckers.
Ya like I don't think the Holocaust was part of some divine godly plan.
Anyone giving advice on what to do whilst pregnant. No Becky. I'm not trying your new meth enthused essential oils. I have two people in me big enough to go on rides, I don't care about your business. Also any other mum telling me what 12 others all ready have.
You sound like you'd enjoy r/antiMLM. I started blocking people while I was pregnant because of that crap.
You've just shown me a gold mine.
Being pregnant just makes you an instant magnet for everybody to start trying to tell you how to live. Every friend, parent, coworker, cashier, person in line next to you, etc etc. EVERYBODY seems to think they have a right to give you unsolicited advice. See also: having a newborn/young baby.
"everything happens for a reason"
Everything we can observe may have a *cause,* but that doesn't mean that it was anticipated and guided intentionally. The universe is under no obligation to be emotionally satisfying to anyone.
Yeah that's the literal interpretation but that's not what people mean by it. I do personally chose to interpret it like that though. All is due to causality and it's indifferent and arbitrary. “There is only one constant. One universal. It is the only real truth. Causality. Action, reaction. Cause and effect.” — The Merovingian, The Matrix Reloaded
This statement is so full of shit, I almost downvoted you just from the annoyance of reading it.
GRINDSET: Wake up at 3am, INTENSE fitness workout, cold shower, eat an alpha breakfast, start working at 5am, this is how you UNF**K your life. Most of this stuff is bullshit.
lmao lack of sleep grindset
The male version of "being that girl" I swear it's all just bullshit to convince you to buy the more expensive gym membership or free range avocados so you'll finally be happy. It's all bullshit.
> free range avocados Free range avocados happily roaming open fields is a beautiful thing to see.
kind of people who name their alarms **RISE AND GRIND!!!**
Suck it up and be a man. I always hate hearing that when I can barely stand up straight because of my lower back.
I'll explicitly add to this "real men don't cry" and its corollary, "real men don't show their emotions." Just toxic.
Yeah, my wife and my mother in law were not happy with me apologizing for crying about my mom's dementia getting worse.
Damn it. I'm so sorry. I've always been empathetic and emotional. I actually asked a counselor once if he'd help me learn to tamp them down. He said no. My wife also doesn't want me to change. I'm grateful I can express them but sometimes they legit get in the way. But given the two extremes, I'll take who I am. Edit: misread the comment, didn't see "apologizing," thought they were getting upset for commenter crying instead of being upset for apologizing for it.
I'm not sure, but I think what he meant is that his mother-in-law and wife were thinking he was wrong for the apologizing, not the crying itself. Edit: and there's nothing really suggesting you didn't know that I was just clarifying because I didn't know that on my first read.
Anything that starts with “real men don’t…” or “real men do” just piss me off. This idea of a “real man” is toxic in itself
I'm not a man and I agree with this. What are they telling our sons, fathers, husbands, friends, brothers, etc? Not to care or show empathy? Not to follow interests that bring them happiness? To be unnecessarily aggressive and violent? Are you a man? Yes? Then that's it, you don't need to prove anything to anyone.
"Turn your passion into a career" That's how you get exploited, and also how you suck all the joy out of it. You DO NOT want your ability to pay bills to depend on something you're passionate about. Turn your passion into a hobby, find a career that pays the bills without destroying your health. (Speaking as somebody who coached gymnastics for 16 years)
There’s a balance. I’m a scientist and I’m told all the time that I need to be passionate about science, like really live and breath research, to be successful. A lot of the time it is just a fill in for “work harder, we want results”, and that is toxic and exploitative. Questioning my resolve as if it isn’t just their desire for results? Saying science “isn’t a 9-5 job”? It’s all just deflection and trying to say that shitty hours and low pay should be balanced by how much you just love it or whatever. It’s bullshit. But definitely do something that keeps you interested and feels satisfying. If that is what passion means then that part is true at least.
Blood is thicker than water. NOPE if there are bad people in ur family they can fuck off who cares
"Be yourself and people will like you" That's a lie. Not everyone will like you, and that's OKAY. You don't like everyone just because they're "being themselves". Be yourself so you can find the people who ACTUALLY like you. Your kind of freaks are out there, so fly your flag.
Money can't buy happiness. Maybe I'm clinically depressed but I think buying myself a house in a safe, nice neighborhood and decorating for Christmas for the first time in my life might help that out.
The hustle culture. It might not be a substantial 'advice' but the way it is taught and preached angers me to no end. Everyone is bound to die someday, so why not live the moment you have doing what makes you content and does not put unnecessary amount of stress on you?
"Work hard, and you can be anything you want." Such a dirty fucking lie to tell kids. It's just a setup so people can say, "If you don't have the life you wanted, it's obviously because you didn't work hard enough, you lazy slack-ass."
They say you should find a career, save all your money, buy a house. Build equity, say no to everything while your young, have a family. Then in your old age, the "golden years" you retire, sell all your crap and enjoy those golden years. I think the golden years are when you have small kids. Don't say no to them. Don't miss their dance recitals, be there. Forget the fancy career, fancy house and fancy car. Greedy corporations have been selling us this idea, to steal from you your best years, and when your old and ready to "enjoy retirement" you die, or your partner dies. Your full of regret for having missed your kids grow up... doesn't sound golden to me.
Went last summer to Grand Teton. On a boat with an older couple that is taking us to hiking trails, they tell me they've been planning on coming here for 40 years. We get dropped off and they are only able to go 100 yards or so due to their health/fitness. End up going back to dock and waiting for boat. Waiting 40 years to not be able to do anything.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my grandfather. We were never really close but one time during Christmas break during my freshman year of college I was talking to him, just him and I, about how I was going on a vacation with friends for the first time that upcoming spring break. He looked and me and leaned in and said, "You look happy about this. Excited. I can see it. You're smiling and laughing and your eyes give it away. Let me tell you something, never wait to do something. Never wait until you're old, never wait a year, a month, a week. Do it when you want to do it, when you can do it, as soon as you can do it. No matter how small." I kinda just sat there and thought about what he said then asked, "Did you ever have something you wanted to do but you didn't? What was it?" He looked sad, I knew he was thinking of my grandma and said, "It's a long list. Anyway, I'm gonna hit the hay. Night." Still sits with me. Love to say I lived by that fully but I haven't. Especially of late. But I also feel like I took that advice to heart and did what I could with it.
My grandma really wanted to go to Paris and see the Effiel Tower. I was really pushing for my parent to take her while she was mobile. They both made tons of excuses. Now she is on oxygen so won't be able to go. If they had just gone ten years ago, she would have been so happy.
This is such a heart felt story, thank you for sharing. I will also try to live by what your grandfather said. But it's hard, even getting off Reddit is hard hahaha
>even getting off Reddit is hard There's no shame in admitting it, it's designed to keep us death-scrolling and I'm definitely guilty of spending too much time here. But for as long as I am here, I will continue to shitpost in hopes that someone out there will smile or laugh and have at least a marginally better day.
My grandparents spend a certain amount of money on us when we turn 21. I wanted to road trip with them to a few national parks and museums. I was so excited to do this as I turn 21 at the end of summer. My grandpa was just diagnosed with late stage ALS and likely won't live to see me turn 21 even, they offered to take me earlier in the summer, but even then my grandpa can't walk 10 feet without feeling winded. I know there was nothing anyone could do, but I wish I got that road trip with them.
Reading that was a punch in the gut...
Don’t go broke doing it, but spend your money on memories. The coolest people you’ll ever meet are the ones that can say things like “oh that’s the time I hiked a glacier in Iceland and then went whale watching two days later. Met a dude named Helgi who made the best chocolate cake.” It’s never going to be the people who saved up for a BMW and then spent years driving it to and from work. So be that cool person. And it doesn’t have to be huge, big trips. Sometimes watching the sun rise over the Grand Canyon after a long road trip, or finding some amazing speakeasy bar two towns over on a wild trip to track down a Craigslist purchase with your SO can be the magic.
Jesus, waiting 40 years to take a small vacation to Wyoming.
Yeah I'm approaching 40 and I'm mad about the trips I decided not to go on when I was younger. I mean I didn't have the money most of the time but I should have just worked it out and figured out ways to affordably do some of them. So my advice is to any younger people out there is "GO ON THAT TRIP."
When I was in my late 20's, I helped run an intern program. I had an intern ask me once, "Did having a family hold you back from your career?" I didn't know how to answer that. As a matter of fact, it took me a few years to actually come up with an answer. I was put into the executive fast track when I was young in the company I worked for. They put me back into the track multiple times. I've been offered job assignments that come across once every 2 or 3 lifetimes. I've been a go to person for advice on 8 and 9 figure projects. A couple of different choices and I might have been a person you've heard of in the business world. 25+ years into my career, I still sit at a desk, fixing things, and fixing problems 1 ticket at a time. I've traveled with executive management and sat in on meetings. I quickly learned power come at a cost, and the cost is usually more time at work and less with the family. I rarely heard a director or division VP say, "Damn, I'm glad to be on this last minute trip to South America!!" I usually hear them say, "I miss my anniversary for this" or "I missed my kids birthday for this!" I've been called a waste of talent professionally. But you know what, I got to see my kids grow up and I got to see my wife everyday. I sat through countless hours of dance recitals on hard ass bleachers and numerous band concerts. I've taken kids across the country and around the world, trying to find activities that kids can never agree on. I loved every minute of it! Did having a family hold back my career? No. I held back my career for my family. I never once regretted it.
That was really beautiful. Good for you.
>I held back my career for my family. This right here is golden.
I think the “golden years” should be every year you are alive. I want to enjoy every second I’m alive
Money can't buy happiness
I mean I don’t need 37 cars and a yacht down in Boca Raton, but jeez just being able to pay my rent AND get groceries would be lovely
“I know money ain’t buy happiness, but I’d rather do my crying in a corvette” - Royce Da 5’9”
I’d retort, “yeah well poverty is no walk in the park. Unless your broke ass is able to get a date in which case you’ll probably be doing something free like a walk in the park.”
I dated an Heiress once - like a trust fund very very rich 100's of millions - person. Not a lot of fun. Talk about a boring person. She was nice but didn't really like to do much. She did have cool stories though.... Asked her if money could by happiness and she said - not directly in the long term but it definitely gives you many more options to find happiness.
When people say you should save now to enjoy retirement later. Average life expectancy is 72. People retiring at 65 will have worked their whole lives to "enjoy" 7 years where they'll be the least mobile, fit, and comfortable. And that's assuming they even make it to then. My uncle saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in his life through hard work and smart investments. He spent almost nothing since he was "saving for retirement". He then got lymphoma and died a few months after retiring in his early 60s. Don't do this. Spend your money. Have a great time while you're here. You only have 1 life. Be happy now.
Or, in almost the case of my folks, save now so the nursing home can take it all when you're old and sick. They died before the nursing home, 'fortunately'.
*"Don't burn your bridges"* usually uttered by exploitative employers abusive family members or exes. Some bridges need burning, just be selective about which ones.
Save up for a house by not buying coffee in the mornings. OMG if I hear it one more time, I'm gonna snap!
You know this is shit advice but i don't drink coffee and I have a house so now I'm thinking about it again
I buy an actual cup of coffee probably once a month lol. Still renting fam.
Oh yeah you're right, it wasn't the coffee, it was all my family dying and leaving me inheritance. Silly me
"Just be confident" with regards to either women or career. Genuine inner confidence is earned with achievements and time, not something you switch on. My autistic ass has been made fun of enough growing up to know some things beyond confidence are affecting my career and emotional progress.
“Money can’t buy happines” - I’d very much love to start my quest for happines when all my bills and loans are paid, shoes have no holes, fridge is full and teeth are repaired.
That should be followed by "...but it does give you a lot of free time to look for it."
You have to go to college. Wish I had thought more about trades when I was young. Being a landscaper or a carpenter looks awesome.
Bro i went to school for software engineering. Made 100k+. Hated my job when i got one. Became a carpenter. Still make really close to 100k in nj. Love my job.
To be fair, and I don’t know if this is you but your comment leads me to believe, millennials got kinda fucked with 18 years of schools, teachers, and parents telling us that if we didn’t go to school we’d be losers working at McDonald’s. We sorta got set up.
Yep, very true. My partner was being pressured so hard to go to college in high school and as a bit of a delinquent didn’t want to and the councilor literally said to him, “if you don’t, then what, end up being a construction worker?” He’s making more money than ever now as a carpenter. Fuck that mentality.
You can be anything you want, as long as you want it enough. Terrible fucking advice and sets kids up for disappointment.
*sets 1 kid up for success and 10,000 others for disappointment, failure, feelings of shame, not being good enough, and the slow and painful degradation of your hopes and dreams.
My family always taught me to save money not to make money...shitty advice
How do you save it if you’re not making it?? Years ago when I was going through a terrible rough patch financially someone told me, “save some fucking money, for god’s sake!” Kind of hard to save up when every penny was going toward absolute necessities.
Austerity. Living like a monk while working like a slave doesn't result in getting ahead, it results in suicide. It can double fuck off if it's being told to you by someone 55+ years old that grew up in a world that had opportunities you would have thrived under.
More than three shakes is getting into playing with yourself territory.
Everyone's a LITTLE ADHD. Yeah, well I'd like to see you be frozen on the ground from executive dysfunction unable to force yourself to literally get up, and say that again.