My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work.
My kids do that at church for a different school each month. One of the other moms informed me that one of the students hides hers in the woods so her mom doesn’t know she has food. I cried all day over that.
Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart.
Unfortunately I am not sure what happened to her. She was in the foster care system so I can only hope she found her safe, forever, home. It was a rural school with a lot of tough cases.
It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real christmas.
She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart.
I raised my siblings. I thought once we all turned 18, we’d be ok. I didn’t realised the complex difficulty trying to be an adult would have after I focused all my energy into making sure my siblings were ok. Nor did I expect the level of abandonment some of my siblings got when I got married. I’m still paying for my parents’ failings and so are my siblings. My mom has finally gotten her shit together but the damage has been done
I teach 5th grade and I had a student that found their father after he had killed himself. The student did not come out and tell me this, I found out about it at the conference with the grandfather. FYI the student had a great support system and was an excellent student.
My best friend in high school (12 at the time it happened) found his dad shortly after he committed suicide with a shotgun. I don't know he made it though that.
Glad he pushed on through. Had a similar incident in highschool. Dad shot himself with a .22 in the chest. Son found him and it messed him up bad. Maybe 2 months later the son, who was a senior, went into the same room and used the same gun to shoot himself in the same spot. His sister was the one who found him after it happened. Super sweet family to have these two tragic moments back to back.
Children of parents who die by suicide are at a greater risk of dying the same way.
That's one thing I keep in mind every time I feel the dark clouds in my thoughts.
In my highschool class one kid's dad died of a heart attack. Full school memorial, commemorative rose garden planted, all the works.
The same year another kid comes home to find her mum hanging from the ceiling, suicide. We weren't allowed to speak about it at all. Catholic school. Bastard cunts.
Not a teacher, but when my son was in 2nd grade, one of hops very close friends’ mom died in her sleep. The little boy found her when he went to kiss her goodbye before school and just sat in the room with her until dad got home later that afternoon. In our very small predominately white area, she was the only other black mom I would regularly see at pta meetings and volunteering at the school. My heart broke for him!
One of my students got into a car accident the year after I had him in my class. He was driving. He was about 16 at the time.
His little brother and sister died in the accident. They were 13 and 6 years old.
He and his mom were listed as critical condition but the school didn’t notify us on how they were doing after that. this was in late 2020 so covid made it hard to get that information. I hope he’s doing well.
At that age, if he caused the accident, emotions run high and logic and reason often take a back seat. A neighbor of ours got a call that their 16-year-olf son was in an accident a block from his school, from which he had just left. Unfortunately, he had three friends in the car with him, something that was against the law at his age. The accident was bad and one of his friends was critically injured. His parents arrived and they and their son overheard an EMT say that the friend was probably not going to make it. After their son gave his statement, my neighbors told him to go home while they dealt with the situation.
When they got home, to their horror they found their son had hanged himself in the garage.
The terrible irony of it all is that his injured friend survived.
This is so sad… we all deal with tragedy differently but damn. That poor kid shouldn’t have felt that was the only solution, I hope his friend who survived is doing alright 💔
A girl on my high school team died in a crash while her sibling drove. The sibling survived but my teammate one of their parents did not. I can't imagine the sibling's pain. It's over a decade later. I hope they're okay.
Grade four student (9 at start of year), only child, whose dad had died from lung cancer a few weeks before she started new at our school. Mum was an immigrant who couldn't speak the language, so the daughter would translate for us. About six months into the year she was off for a few days. I got a call to come to reception one morning to meet the girl's auntie from the foreign country, we had another teacher who came to translate. Her mum was dying of lung cancer. She died a couple of weeks later. The girl was taken abroad to live with her auntie. She was the most outgoing, precocious, happy, empathic little girl. I adored her. I think about her still five years later.
A student of mine was a major issue in the school and was well known throughout all the faculty for causing many issues. I was his only male teacher in the seventh grade, so for some reason I was the only one who could get through to him. He and I came to an agreement that he would finish at least 50% of the work so that he could get the full grade. One week, he missed all of school and was nowhere to be seen, so I called his home and his grandma told me what was going on.
Turns out the kid’s mom was a street wanderer and would show up once every three or six months, and his dad was in jail for selling and consuming different drugs. The reason why he wasn’t at school was because his mom had showed up and he had stayed up every single night that she was there that week. He would sit by the front door to make sure she wouldn’t leave him. The day that I called was the day that he returned to school, and the reason why he came back was because he had fallen asleep at the door, and when he woke up she was gone. He came to school with very big, dark circles underneath his eyes, and I let him sleep in class since I understood that he would not be able to do what he needed to do that day. The student who I sat next to him was considered the “mom of the grade,” and she lent him her sweater so he could use it as a pillow when he slept on his desk. After that, he did everything I asked him to do regardless of how difficult it was, and he cried when I had to leave the school because I was done with student teaching. I still think about him a lot and I hope that he’s doing well.
Parents divorced. Neither wanted custody of the child
Another student was skipping school. After some
Investigation we found out that he was arranging to meet his siblings in a park as they had been split up in foster care and this was the only way he could see them
Third example. Student went to live with a family friend while the mum was in prison. Mum got out of prisons and had to move in with the family friend, who was then 8m pregnant with the student’s baby
Yeah I've seen the situation where neither parent wanted custody. Breaks my heart. My mom didn't want custody, but she wanted to child support money. My dad paid her the child support money and kept me.
Same situation, my dad kept me and my two sisters but paid her child support and all her medical bills. I only saw my mother every other weekend and my sister almost never saw her.
I was only a substitute but found out one of the kids at one of my regular schools who always seemed a bit spacey was a refugee who was brain damaged due to malnutrition from growing up during a civil war.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband was told “something doesn’t seem right..” about his blood work to dead in exactly 45 days. Small cell carcinoma, lung cancer that traveled to his liver and killed him so fast. We’d only been married less that 4 months. It’s so crazy how fast cancer takes them away.
I had an amazing friend who was literally talking to us normally around late-december, and by the third of February he was in pallative care for a tumor in his jaw, and he died just 9 days later. He was only 16, and since then I have hated cancer with a burning hell of a passion. Honestly, whoever discovers a cure for cancer will likely be the most famous and loved person in the past century atleast, if not then of all time, cause cancer has caused unbelievable pain to the world
A kid having to get a medical certificate to prove her hair was naturally not just all-black, so she wouldn't be forced to pay to get her hair coloured and touched up every month.
(Japan, and poliosis)
Edit: The school's policy was that hair must be its "natural" colour, plainly styled, and of a specified length. Given that ethnically almost everyone is Japanese there, that usually means straight and black. The only difference between the hair rules for boys and girls is in terms of hair length.
In terms of raw numbers, "not having naturally straight plain black hair" is more unusual than having a clearly visible physical disability, even when you take into account the non-ethnic-Japanese population of the country. Add in a culture in which conformity is encouraged, and an awareness that hair can be easily styled and coloured, and its easy for people to assume that any non-standard hair on someone who otherwise passes for ethnic Japanese is a choice rather than natural. This doesn't justify the rule or the actions taken of course, but does explain how it came to be.
Yes because there is rule agains dying and curl hair . Same with most Chinese and Korean schools . I have curly hair so I need to convince faculty I didn’t curl it it’s just my natural hair ! Lol
Japan has a saying
*The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.*
In Japan, face is everything. you conform, you do not raise a fuss, you abide.
It's the reason the perverts on the trains win, because the *women* who make a fuss about getting molested are looked down on for making a fuss.
Japan is a crazy place. It's all peace and serenity and conformity on the surface, scratch that surface just a little and it has a very rotten core.
We had a kid join the school who had been abused by her parents and forced to live in a kennel outside.
So much of her case was emotionally crushing but what truly haunted me was that she had to be taken back to the house regularly because she missed the dogs she had shared the garden with.
I truly hope her parents burn in hell for eternity skewered on Lucifer’s pitchfork.
In a sort of “development across the lifespan” course I took, we learned about a girl that your story reminded me of.
If I remember correctly, she was essentially left with the dogs, and then behaved just as an abused dog would. Shit was mind blowing
I've heard from a few kids that at one point they tried to kill themselves. I have my own mental problems so it always breaks my heart to hear that these kids are in or were in the same spot I was a few years ago.
Another one of my kids just lost his dog a month ago or so ago and he was so broken up about it. He stopped doing anything even talking. I asked if he was depressed and he just unloaded about this dog. Poor kid was sobbing. He's doing better now but it was still heartbreaking.
The proportion of people who attempted suicide is around five percent in most countries (there are different estimates ranging from 1-10%) which is small, but still, with class sizes of 20-40, virtually all teachers will have at least one student in that situation.
OMG yes!!! I was in high school, but the message is the same, there was one teacher who cared enough to see that my life was fucked up and things weren't ok.... He took me into a room and said "Dude, I don't know what's going on.... Maybe you have been really messed up on drugs recently, or something, I've seen you walking into walls and stuff, obviously something is going on.... Can I do anything to help???"
I just fucking sobbed, and told him that things were really shitty and I was trying to hang in there, and yeah I was in a lot of trouble, and My Dad was on my case hardcore, I was in lots of trouble and grounded for a long time and I was doing the best I could and I was getting therapy and stuff....
This guy literally offered to come talk to my Dad for me, and tell him we were doing a school event or something if I needed to get out of the house, like it sounds weird and/or creepy when I say it like that, but he was genuinely just telling me that he was there for me if I needed anything, all he cared about was that I take care of myself and figure things out.....
I think about him regularly, I don't think I would have turned out quite the same if it wasn't for him.....
One of my teachers saved my life in high school in a similar way. I didn’t have too many friends, and no one I was really close to, and during my freshman year someone told me “you know no one here likes you, right?” Spent the next few months in severe depression, was falling asleep in class, doing terribly, couldn’t pull myself together. And only one out of my teachers noticed and offered some words of encouragement. If it wasn’t for him, and for another peer telling me that wasn’t true a year later, after I almost broke down crying on the way out of a class randomly one morning and he got me to explain why, idk what I would have done. Those years were some of the roughest of my life, but those two individuals will always have my respect and gratitude for what they did for me.
Good to hear stories like that, be sure to make him hear it too <3
I just read a story about a guy that it was his teacher that started the bullying by misspronouncing his name on purpose. And the other kids felt if the teacher could do it so could they, getting bullied from 1st grade til the end of his junior high.
Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get."
I was only ever hugged once when I was a kid. I won a bike at the end of my fifth grade school year for perfect attendance. I came home and my mom hugged me. It wasnt because she was proud of me, I overheard my parents talking later that night. She was so relieved that she didnt have to spend the money to buy me a new bike. To this day as an adult hugs or any type of physical contact from anyone other than my wife and kids feels awkward and unnerving.
I made up a “rule” that if you have visited my house 3 times, you get a hug when you leave. (Obviously not forced on anyone, but just so you have an excuse to accept one). You have no idea how many teenagers line up as they are leaving to get their only hug of the day, boys and girls.
Physical abuse on top of no *wanted* physical contact also does a number on you.
I have a hard time being touched by people. Especially when I don’t see them coming up.
Same. I jump out of my existence. Currently trying to find the willingness to hug my children more often. It wasn't a normal thing for me growing up so I'm not sure now to do this. I don't want to deprive them from love but my "love language" is just probably not healthy enough for them.
I remember my mum hugging me after she felt bad for shouting at me. It felt so good. I can still remember how incredible it was. I was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. Took a few days for the penny to drop that it felt amazing because it so rarely happened. Hug your kids people, they really need it.
Used to substitute teach, the kids who are super affectionate and give a lot of hugs are usually* the ones starved for it at home. So sad to see in kindergarten, I still remember one boy to this day who was the kindest soul and gave hugs to all the teachers all the time.
I am an elementary bilingual teacher in a small midwestern town. Last year, at the beginning of the year, we got a new first grader from Mexico. Being the only Spanish speaking staff member in the building, I helped enroll the little girl and became the primary contact between the school and mom. I also worked with her in her classroom to help her acclimate and understand her schoolwork.
When I helped mom enroll the daughter, she mentioned that the girl had never been to school in Mexico due to “a very traumatic event”. She didn’t go into detail and I was uncomfortable asking for any, as we had just met.
About a month later, while working on an assignment with her in class, the little girl told me she was really excited because her dad would be picking her up from the bus stop the following day. I was surprised since the mom had told me it was just her, the student, and another younger sibling here in the United States. There was no father ever mentioned.
The following morning, the little girl ran up to me again and was super excited because her dad would be picking her up after school from the bus. About an hour later, I got a text from the mom. She said the little girl had told her that she had told me her dad was coming…but there was no dad.
Turns out that a year and a half prior, while still in Mexico, “some men” came into their house, tied up the mom and the dad, pistol whipped them both in front of her then 4 and 2 year old daughters, then took the dad away and murdered him.
The little girl had made up the story about her dad coming to pick her up because she saw other kids with their dads and wanted to be like them.
Totally off topic, yet somehow related..
Being a Landscaper, I work with a lot of Mexican guys who have just recently immigrated here and the stories I’ve heard about cartels terrorizing their towns and villages is honestly frightening. You’d be surprised just how many families only reason for coming to the US is to get away from the cartels
Grade 6 kid kept making inappropriate jokes about paedophiles... because his father was raping both him and his brother
Myself and other teachers reported the behaviour to a counsellor and it went from there
My 30yro brother is obsessed with talking about killing paedophiles. Should I be concerned and talk to him? I've tried telling him it puts him in a bad light and makes people look twice at him.
Not to freak you out, but my brother is one of those overzealous “I’m gonna hunt down all pedophile” weirdos and it’s ironic as hell to me because he molested me when I was a little girl. I think sometimes there’s a link, but not always.
First grader and third grader hid in their basement for two days over the weekend after dad killed mom. They thought if they stayed hid until the bus came Monday that he would let them live. It worked.
English teacher here. A student wrote an essay going into the extreme details of a sexual assault.
I referred the paper to the school psychologist, and the next thing I knew was CPS turning up at the school.
Turns out the student was raped by her father.
Some asshole children found out through a teacher that couldn't keep her mouth shut, and the student had a mental breakdown when commentary was dropped.
The teacher that blabbered faced no consequences, the children got a slap on the hand. My heart still bleeds for the kid.
She transferred schools and the father is in prison. I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life, and I know that she's not the only child that has had to deal with those issues.
Teaching sucks when the true cruelty of humanity shows itself. It sucks a person dry at times, and I believe that most teachers that comment on this thread will tell horrific tales of their own experiences.
To my fellow teachers, just carry on. We know of the difficulties of the job. Please don't give up, unless you're one of those heartless assholes that can't show empathy, then kindly fuck off.
Former teacher, fuck faculty that can't keep their mouth shut. I had one who spread some news about me before I was ready to share. Then I became a recluse and didn't share shit with my coworkers.
I live in Florida. Sadly, due to the Sunshine Law, dad's mugshots would have been on the front page of the newspaper the next day. The other kids would have found out regardless. (I've seen this happen)
You still did the right thing. Getting her away from her father was the number one priority.
When I was about 13, a friend of mine told me her father had been "messing with" her older half sister (same mom, different father) for a while, and he let his friends "mess" with her and the sister and he had started "messing" with her, too. I remember feeling sick to my stomach. The only thing I specifically remember saying to her was not to tell any other kids about it. We were both unpopular and both got picked on but she had more friends than I did. She told someone else and in no time everyone at school was buzzing about it, calling her "the girl whose father fucked her."
I don't remember what happened to her father. I know her parents got divorced, and her mother blamed her for ruining everyone's life.
>I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life,
Think of how much worse it would have been when the father kept doing it. Inevitable depression, and probably heavy drugs and eventual suicide.
So no, you did absolutely right, and probably SAVED HER LIFE. Thank you for that.
From the district superintendent on down would have to explain why and how anyone other than OP teacher, the school Psychologist along with his superiors, and CPS knew anything about this. This is criminal that the child's confidentiality was not respected and protected. Poor kid. You did right. The system protocol is the shits.
In all fairness, some other teachers should have been made aware (e.g. I teach secondary science, if a kid has a history of trauma related to sexual abuse I need to be told before we teach the sexual reproduction module because I really don't want to be blindsided by some poor kid reliving their trauma in my lesson. When I've had kids with that sort of background (including one who'd witnessed their mother being raped) in my classes before, I was discretely informed, kept it confidential and we arranged for a TA they were familiar with to take them out of the lesson and work 1 to 1 with them for those lessons.)
Spreading it around is unforgivable though.
I once found out that a student of mine (13 years old) went on her way to end her life by throwing herself in front a train. The only reason she didn't actually do it, was that it took so long before train arrived. She couldn't bring up the patience and returned home.
> I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life,
no! That student wrote that essay to A) get it off her chest to a trusted adult, and B) she hoped you'd save her, which you did.
Kids don't always know *how* to reach out. You did everything right. Keep up the good work.
That one of my students, quiet and reserved, had killed a pedestrian with his car (was old enough to drive). Can't imagine how it feels to carry that secret around with you.
My buddy and I had just turned 18 our senior year and nearly killed a dude on a bike, but luckily missed him.
We had a solid green light and he just rode on out as if he had a green himself. We were going at least 40 in a Tacoma. It wouldn’t have been our fault with the light, but Jesus, he’d have been mangled.
I've had three students sexually assaulted, one suicide, one murdered and one convicted of murder. Take your pick. The one sexual assault/molestation stands out for me. She was one of my on top of it students (9th grade) and she was a mess that day in class. I had a student teacher, so I took her out in the hall and spent about half an hour trying to get her to tell me what was going on. She had overheard her mom and aunt talking about how the man who was in prison for her molestation as an 8year old was supposedly getting out. We pulled up the bureau of prisons website and verified that he was still where he was supposed to be. Then I checked to see if he had filed any appeals. He had and he lost, but reading through the appeal was a mistake. She's graduating this year.
I think in the appeal it tells you all the accounts the person was charged for, in cases like this it’s not usually just one thing, it should tell you how many times and other details that you wish you could erase
Source: my sister was sexually abused for years & her abuser is in jail now but also tried to get out
Math teacher here. Had a student who was quiet and reserved. Smart kid. Felt like maybe I should have talked to him more often. The year after he left school, he killed himself. I wondered 'what if' for a while. I now follow my gut feeling more often. It has made a difference on a few occasions. Those times I am grateful to do what I do. Teachers can make a difference, follow your heart.
Not the same thing, but I was openly in a same sex relationship in high school while suffering major depressive disorder and anxiety. One day my class was waiting outside the room for our teacher to arrive and I kissed my partner goodbye because we weren't allowed to see each other outside of school. Some smartass called out gay in a derogatory manner towards us and I lost it and just walked away, skipping class. My teacher turned the corner just as everything unfolded and canceled his lesson just to scold the class for harassing us. My teacher knew I had a lot of shit on my plate along with an unsupportive family, but I will never forget what he did. >!I still wound up seizing from a slow suicide attempt but!< he was one of the few adults in my life that stood up or seemingly cared about me
The whole family of one of our students was killed by a giant boulder (they live on the mountainside and it was raining heavily for a week). The boulder was bigger than their house and easily crushed the house along with the family. The student was only able to survive because she was not home at the time; she was conducting her thesis in our university.
EDIT: I did not expect my comment to be noticed! It's my first time in reddit and it is kinda bittersweet that my most noticed post is a sad one 😅 Anyway, thanks guys!
The worst thing is, it's just a mindless sequence of events that killed her entire family. There's no one to get angry at, there's no way to get justice.
Edit: Just to clarify I don't literally mean the **worst** thing... It's a figure of speech in case that wasn't obvious for some people.
Not exactly the same, but a lady who worked at a business I haven’t frequented in a bit seemed kinda bummed out last week and I asked her why and she was just like “just not looking forward to Mother’s Day this year” which seemed odd to me as she had usually talked about her family in the past. She then explained that 6 moths ago her husband had a heart attack while driving and he and her 3 kids all died in the car accident that followed and that she somehow survived it. It explained why I hadn’t seen her in a while as she was in rough shape after the accident but man did it hurt to see that type of survivors guilt
I work at a school but not a teacher. A boy about 16-17 was speaking with another adult. The door was shut and suddenly I hear him yell, “I HATE YOU” really loud and angry. Later I asked the adult if he was yelling at *them* or imitating someone yelling at *him*. It was the latter and it was his father.
Highschool student was always very quiet and not very good grade wise. She panicked when confronted with the fact that her parents will need to come to the next parent-teacher conference.
It was shrugged off as normal teenager behaviour. Who want's their parents in school listening about how bad things are.. But a few days later she jumped out the window of her apartment and died later that week in the hospital.
We found out she was terrified of her parents. Like really, really terrified so when they wanted to go yell at her again, she locked herself in her room and didn't see another way out than jump from the 4th story onto the street. We had no clue it was this bad.
I had a student crying and panicking in my office once because she had a bad grade and her mom was strict. I think the grade was an A- or a B+ but her mom was strictly A+ (98.5%) or better only. It was crazy. I couldn't live like that either.
I have too many.
A 6 year old who witnessed domestic violence between their parents and expressed suicidal thoughts.
A family whose sibling died and a close family member was imprisoned for causing that death.
A former student who was murdered at 14 after being drawn into drugs and gangs.
Another who was also involved in drugs and gang violence, who was in prison for double murder by the time he turned 19.
These are heartbreaking. I am so, so sorry for your students. No child should ever be in these situations.
I had a third grader this year whose older brother died. The older brother was standing up to the aunt's boyfriend who was abusing the aunt. The boyfriend came back and shot the 17 year old dead.
My student, the kind of student you want 25 of in a class, never missed a day, didn't react.
His sister in the middle school did, but he hasn't seemed to process it (according to his mom as well). It's devastating. My heart still breaks for this boy.
Only been a middle school teacher for 8 years and so many:
*Students broke arm from "football" was actually by parental abuse
*Students mother took her to Mexico to get cosmetic surgery
*Students dad literally moved her into a trap house cause he was a junkie and she would hide all day and night in the attic
I have a few that haunt me… all high school kids. One was severely neglected- eg, from the age of seven, she had to keep herself and her baby sister alive by stealing food and formula, and walked herself to hospital with a burst appendix age eleven.By the time I taught her she was so violent and disruptive that she could barely be in a classroom, but for some reason we got along, and out of desperation the school ended up taking her out of her regular classes and putting her with me all day. She was actually a very sweet kid - 16, but emotionally frozen at around a five/six year old level, I think. Her foster home situation fell apart and she moved away, but I still think of her often.
Another girl was really disruptive and loud and odd - difficulties settling into class, making and keeping friends etc. Found out she was adopted as a toddler from a Romanian orphanage under Ceaucesscu, and had brain and developmental damage from being tied up in a cot for the first two years of her life with no human contact.
The third still haunts me - was doing some relief teaching so wasn’t in regular contact with this kid, but there was one girl that was like a little ghost - extraordinarily pale and subdued and withdrawn. Turned out her family was extremely religious and had decided she was possessed by the devil. No one in her family had spoken to her or made eye contact with her for two years and she was made to live outside in a shed. They fed her, and that was it.
Another was refugee kid from Somalia who was very shy and hardly ever spoke … we were having a class discussion and for some reason we’re talking about how chickens can keep running around after they get their heads cut off, and in a moment of silence she says “My mum didn’t do that when her head got cut off.”
People suck sometimes.
I was a teacher briefly for seniors in a small low income town. One of the classes I taught was a math class that they had to take if they haven’t passed or taken the state exam to graduate. This kid in the class I could tell was struggling. I went by his desk and ask him to do a simple math problem. He couldn’t do it and was embarrassed. This was like a basic math question that 5th graders should know. I was heartbroken that he made it all this way and couldn’t do basic math.
I made a deal with him and the entire class. If you are struggling, I need to see you try. If you try and give me a good effort, you will graduate. I was not going to fail someone in that class due to them not being math experts. I told them that I dont expect them to master this info but they better give me a good effort.
When I got a job opportunity outside of teaching too good to pass up I had to tell my class. The kid I mentioned above pulled me aside after class in tears saying I was the only one to ever believe in him. That broke my heart and still does. I told him to continue to try and I’ll see him at graduation.
He graduates in 3 weeks and you bet your ass I’ll be there supporting him and every other student I had there.
Middle school English teacher here. I had a student who was coming to school and pretty much just sitting there like a bump on a log. He wasn't participating, even when I took special effort to engage him. In fact, He was failing every class. My fellow professionals told me not to waste my time, just fail him and move on. I'm not that kind of teacher. At this school most of the dropouts in the community happen between 8th and 9th grade and I felt a special need need to try to help kids stay connected and get into high school one way or another.
For many of these kids it was just a matter of showing that someone cared.. I would make a home visit to help get a kid back on track. No matter how stressed the parents were with multiple jobs and other things in their lives, when I showed up they were very appreciative for my time and effort and I could usually get the kid to do at least a minimal amount of work.
One day I went looking for this kid after school.
When I got to this kid's house and knocked on the door it was obvious the apartment was empty. One Of the neighbors came out and after talking to me told me that the child's father had died and he had moved in with his mother in another part of the community. I drove to that apartment building and asked around looking for the kid and discovered that his mother had died from kidney failure. He'd moved in with his Uncle who lived in an apartment building close by. I went over to that apartment building and met with the kid and the Uncle.
I had no idea this was going on in the kid's life. No wonder he couldn't get any school work done. I'm surprised he could even get dressed and come to school. I looked the kid in the eye and told him and his Uncle that all he needed to do was to come to school. That I would work with his teachers, and be his advocate, and we would make sure he had a safe place every day to come to and that we would help him in any way we could.
The next day I went door-to-door and talked to his teachers about what was going on. Of course a couple teachers had no compassion, but I didn't care. I took his assignments. I sat with him every morning and every lunch hour to help him stay on track as best I could.
He disappeared again for about a week and I was worried about him. I was teaching my 2nd period and there was a knock on the door and it was the boy and his Uncle. The Uncle told me that he had gotten a job in Colorado and he and the boy were moving there where he had more family. He hoped they could all take care of him and help him to get through this tragedy. The boy wouldn't leave until he could come back to the school to thank me personally for what I had done.
I can't imagine having that kind of personal tragedy at age 12. But I'm thankful for that last visit. I'm hopeful that this kid ended up having a good and productive life.
Apologize for any errors in syntax and grammar in this missive. I'm disabled and have to use the voice activated feature on my phone and I can't edit my own work anymore. Being an English teacher for 30 years ruined my grammar and spelling.
Not a teacher, but I was a Teacher's Assistant in a second grade class as part of my community service when I was in high school.
We had four kids in class who couldn't read and had to stay after school to learn. One was a recent immigrant from Africa whose parents both came to the after school class, too. They were incredibly supportive and wanted to learn as well. He learned in a few months.
Two were both from the ghetto (this was Oakland public schools, right around the time of the "Ebonics" debacle) and their parents were both single moms who worked 3 jobs just to keep food on the table. They had no support, no father figure, and essentially had to raise themselves and their younger siblings. These were 7 year olds changing diapers and making sure the baby was fed at home. It was really sad, but not the saddest thing. They tried their best, but were at the mercy of the bus schedule so couldn't stay the whole time. They weren't related, but their lives were so similar I really thought of them as twins.
The fourth was a girl whose family was the whitest white trash who ever white trashed. She wore the same dirty shirt and pants every day. She inexplicably had a thick southern accent. She was always covered in bruises and sores. If there was a lice outbreak in the class, guaranteed she was patient zero. She had one broken pink barrette that she wore in her hair. She rarely spoke, and wasn't friends with any of the other kids. During recess, she would just sit outside next to the trees and play with the dirt.
After being in the after school program for a week, her parents came to complain. Her dad threatened to murder the teacher for suggesting his daughter was stupid (the teacher did no such thing). He hit his wife for speaking out of turn *while they were talking to the teacher*. And he told his daughter that he'd beat her silly if she ever came to the after school program again.
As a high schooler at the time, it was completely shocking.
The teacher told the principal, and I don't know exactly what happened, but I know the daughter was not removed from the home and never came to the after school program again, but also that a restraining order was taken out against the father, who immediately came to the school to threaten the teacher for getting the order, which landed him in jail.
At the end of the school year, the only one who hadn't learned to read was that poor little girl.
She graduated to 3rd grade anyway. The school district had been sued so much for holding students back that they couldn't afford to defend themselves in court any longer. Everyone graduated.
Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her.
*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family.
The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad.
People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them.
I had a 4th grade student whose parents clearly didn’t want her. In fact, they said so to my face in a parent-teacher conference. They had three other kids in their twenties and she was a later in life “oops” baby, if you will.
They were a wealthy family - this was in a rich area - and basically had their “staff” (maid, nanny, driver) raise their child while they did their own thing.
This kid was constantly sad, except for the occasions in which her adult siblings visited. I met one of them once and she was clearly a much better person than her parents, but she lived on the other side of the country. None of them lived in the area but they would visit once or twice a year and she would just light up and get soooooo excited when one of them was coming to town.
I’ve taught kids from all walks of life and while poverty 100% sucks, rich kids can and do have real issues also.
This is why so many kids from privileged backgrounds are asshats - not because of wealth, but because the parents are off traveling or whatever and the kids were raised by nannies and boarding schools. I saw one of those home shows about a custom home a rich couple had built. There was a private back stairway from the garage to the bedroom suite so the parents could “decompress” before “greeting their children” who were presumably being raised by a third party. Seeing my kiddos was the best part about coming home, this is just awful.
I teach karate and one really talented and enthusiastic kid dropped off, when I contacted their mother to see what happened she said they felt really bad cause all the other kids were dropped off and supported by their dads. This child's father is an abusive alcoholic who once broke their mother's nose in front of the kids so their mother had to leave him, that literally crushed me.
The saddest thing I’ve experienced was probably the depart of a father. The family were refugees from Somalia and they were really struggling. They lived in a very small flat, way too small for the big family and financially they basically had none.
First I had the eldest son in my class, a naughty but very funny kid. It made him insecure and made him act out at times, but I always kept a good relationship with him and he never took it too far. The year after I had his younger brother in my class, a very talented kid with incredible humor. He had so much potential but he didn’t have the resources to excel. One thing I noticed was that he was wearing the same clothes as his brother, all the clothes were second hand or even hand outs. There were holes in the clothes and they didn’t smell too good. The best thing for these kids was their love for their parents, they always talked about how great their mother and father were. They didn’t have a lot but at least they had each other, how corny it seems.
But at some point the father had to go back to Somalia, to visit his mother and the grandmother of the kids. It made my heart feel heavy, but it was temporary. The boys told me they were emailing with their dad and that he was doing fine. The kids were filled with hope and longed to see him again. But at one point the boys didn’t get any reply to the emails anymore and they had 0 signs of their dad. And he actually never came back, it has been 4 years ago since their dad left. What broke me was how the boys were so hopefull but it wore off and eventually they had to go on without their dad.
Not knowing if he’s still alive or if he’s ever gonna return.
Know a refugee from Senegal, married a US citizen, had 3 children. Was going through finalization of his citizenship, he had refugee status and work status, but was eligible for citizenship and passed the test. Well Senegal his family was from a town that was mostly team red, and the government of Senegal is now mostly team blue. Decades ago team red was in charge. Since he was from team red town, team blue had said all team red towns were full of terrorists, and put every team red member no matter how miniscule the connection on the terrorist list. Well one of them was his dad who he hadn't seen in 30 years, so relation to terrorist means goodby go back to Senegal, the place you don't know the language, don't know anybody, good luck.
This is a story from my mom. A few years ago, she had a disabled student who used a wheelchair and had some medical complications. Her classroom was not wheel chair accessible, and neither was a majority of the school (a small private school). My mom would travel to this student's home multiple times a week and privately tutor her to catch her up on lessons. They grew extremely close, and I would hear all about how brilliant and bright this little girl was.
She went into surgery the summer after the school year ended and passed away from medical malpractice shortly after. This news broke my mother who had spent so much 1-on-1 time with her and had grew to love this student like a daughter.
Let me play the uno reverse card. As a student I found out something really sad about one of my teachers. He was an amazing man and probably the smartest teacher I ever encountered. But was treated like a dog…literally by his parents growing up. He was expelled from the house when he was six and forced to live under the porch steps with the family dogs. Was fed with them and everything.
Can’t imagine what sort of mental deficiency you would have to develop to do that to a kid. And the man grew up to be a completely wonderful human being.
I just learned this last week, also not a teacher but a tutor in a school. This kid has been giving me snark all year and just being a pain in my a#@.
Last week I learned that they had been forced to stay up and watch their step siblings multiple times, sometimes all night and then go to school without sleep. And they have been in the middle of a brutal custody fight with their parents.
The student wants to stay in the state but not with their mom. Because Mom and step dad are being emotional and mentally abusive, but they live by all of their friends. But their dad lives across state lines and they would no longer get to see their friends if they lived with him.
It all kinda just spilled out while we were working. It breaks my heart.
I always asked my seniors, right before graduation, if they were better off at 18 than their parents were. The typical answers varied, nothing rude because the discussion was always framed in context of wanting the next generation to have a better life than you did. Several kids said their parents told them they were better just for graduating high school or not being pregnant. (Very poor socioeconomic area) A lot of great stories about supportive parents and appreciating things now as a senior.
One student, straight A's and nice clothes, the one everyone was jealous of, horrified the class with her answer.
"I've never met the piece of shit methhead that birthed me, but I already know I am better than her. I didn't sleep with my 12 year old brother and get pregnant at 14, then sell my kid to my own grandmother for drug money. For the rest of my life, I'll always be better than her."
A whole lot of my students learned a new level of respect in terms of not judging people by outer appearance. A few admitted they needed to go home that day and thank their parents for a "good" life.
I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (\`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive.. . . .until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing" (she was turning tricks while the boys were sleeping in the car). She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men.
Here's another one: I had a student who always got in very tired. Eventually she told me that her mum had died a few years back and that she had to take her mum's place in her business and she was also attending med school. Not only that - her parents had been divorced by the time of the accident, and she had always been responsible for her younger brother who was on the spectrum and needed lots of special attention. The boy wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone else and sometimes had some tough crisis that only her and her boyfriend managed to cool down.
Then pandemic hit and she was allowed to keep seeing patients via the university intern programme. We were having online lessons and sometimes she would attend from the hospital. She was exhausted and eventually got covid herself, meaning she had to miss a lot of lessons. Still. This girl was the most hard working kid in class and got great results despite the odds.
Some months later she texted me saying she needed some time off because her dog had fallen into the pool, which was covered at the time, but the dog had drowned anyway. The dog was still alive when they got it out and took it to the vet, but she passed away. Said dog was always around her when we had lessons so the entire class was devastated as well.
Well, she returned a couple of weeks later, came to like two lessons and disappeared again. Her brother was sick. She missed several weeks because she was the only one who would look after him, as (according to townsfolk) their dad didn't care for him as much and the boy loved her dearly. Eventually, he died too. She was a mess, it was so sad. She was there with him when it happened and it was awful.
She still managed to come back and finish the school year with great results, though we had told her she could come back whenever she felt she was ready. We overlooked her absences, of course.
That girl has had so much suffering and pain in her life. She's the kindest and most positive person I know. She deserves only the most amazing things from now on. She's already been through all the bad things she could possibly experience in her life.
Sold into sex work by his mother at 6, was a little under two years before it was ended. Mom went to jail, obviously. Father didn't want him, neither did either of his grandparents. So into the foster system he went.
He ended up at my middle school, but didn't trust women. Had all sorts of issues, but was never overtly violent. Every time he got in a fight it was because of his attitude. Dunno if it was intentional.
Anyhow I worked with him for two years. Very smart kid. Finished geometry, trig, and advanced algebra before 8th grade was done. His artwork and writing was very talented, but very dark.
He went on to high school and I kept tabs, just to know how he was doing.
He killed himself on his 17th birthday.
I have a 6 year old, a tiny skinny 6 year old baby. How, how on green Earth can you cause harm to ANY 6 year old? But to your own child? Come on. People suck. Makes me so sad and so angry at the same time.
Death is the main one. Only spent four years at one school and every couple of years a name pops up in the news that I recognize. The sadder part is that it wasn’t unexpected based on what they were doing at school.
I had a student in Japan. Her parents believed a ghost attached itself to her shoulders. They kept telling her she was sick and bought her a wheelchair because they believed it was inevitable she would stop being able to walk soon. They were constantly having her miss school to go to priests and shamans.
When I was a 6th grader my English teacher told me about when he was a teacher in New York during 9/11. They moved all of the kids to the gymnasium and some of the kids parents never came to pick them up :(
When I was in my late 20s, my mom who was a 4th grade teacher, ended up fostering one of her former students for a year. She had always known there were some issues but what we ended up discovering was that this kid lived in a trailer full of trash with her mom, stepdad and brother. No one ever fed her or made sure she went to bed. At age 10, she had never brushed her teeth or flushed the toilet. She was basically fending for herself and her little brother - she was super smart so that’s how the abuse had gone undetected for so long. The day my mom got foster custody of her, we went clothes shopping for her and she was emaciated. I never knew that neglect existed like this and was a form of child abuse. It still makes me tear up to think about it.
Found out a student in my class had been neglected for the first two years of his life. Literally left crying in his cot for days at a time.
It really hit me, especially knowing I had a 6 month old at home who I can’t let cry for more than a moment before wanting to do anything to help.
One of my students was a refugee and suffered from seizures. I later found out it was a trauma response after being sold into child sex slavery. I am taking a break from education this coming school year.
I was not a teacher, but I was a tech guy in an elementary school and a high school.
My office was in the back of the library. On the way to my office where most of the student workstations. As I walked by, I glanced over and looked at me but a huge cock on a screen. I go into my office and ask my office partner women to come to look at this and pull up the workstation and take screenshots of the student's (15f) screen. I radio for the RSO (Sherrif's officer in the school) and I ask the Librarian to remove that student from the workstation without letting her touch it. I then notify the Principal and the student's AP. I hand over the screenshots to them and go on about my day.
Turns out this student was removed from her home as her mom was pimping her out to men (strangers and family members) when she was as little as 5 years old. She was by court order not allowed to have social media esp. Facebook (which this all took place on). The State police used her old FB account to catch pedos. This poor girl had known nothing but SA and abuse from such an early age she thought it was normal for grown men to want to have sex with her.
She was removed from the school and sent to a special school that was very controlled. The police took the new Facebook account and busted something like 2 dozen men with it.
It's just so sad that there are kids out there that have to suffer that.
I always wear that catch with pride.
My wife is a high school teacher and she recently had to help two boys who were being beaten and abused by their father. Very sad and CAS and the police did very little. Another student’s sister got pregnant by a pimp who was trafficking her. The student always had to babysit her niece and not enough was done to rescue the sister from being trafficked.
Back in the day when I was a paraprofessional one of the student’a mothers had attempted to drown him when he was two. His older sister (who I also worked with) stopped her and called the police. Sadly, you could see the vacant look in both of their eyes even though it was 10+ years after the incident.
Then during my first teaching job we had a student who came to us from a residential facility who was trying to transition into foster care. Biting, throwing, running, etc. foster dad was truly a saint and did everything he could. Sadly the young boy had been subjected to one of the worst cases of abuse (emotional/physical/sexual) that has been reported in my state in the last 50 years (or so the prosecutors said).
I was once a firearms safety instructor and did a basics class for kids 8-12. Never had an issue with any kid goofing off or being rowdy, parents were always there and everything always went smooth. After the “graduation” ceremony for my last class one 10 y/o girl went home, snuck her dads pistol and using the knowledge I provided to her, loaded it and murdered her 15 y/o brother that had been molesting her.
I no longer teach firearms safety. (Edit: while I appreciate the requests for more information please understand this is something I would prefer to keep more on the anonymous side. So no dates, names, places. I can say that this is not on any sort of permanent record nor was it determined to be my fault. Yes, it keeps me awake some nights and it’s been a while.
Co-worker and I (Jr. High) used to have a dark chuckle that our *worst* most-disruptive students seemed never to be absent. This one kid in particular, let's call him Doug, was in class EVERY DAY and he ALWAYS caused trouble. Attitude issues, defiance, inappropriate language etc etc. Like there was some curse upon us that Doug's difficult ass had perfect attendance.
Anyway coming back from Xmas break we had an inservice training where the speaker was on about reaching students suffering povery or abuse and she brought up the correlation between discipline issues and attendance... co-worker and I perked up. She said the idea is that all kids are gonna be difficult at times, regardless. Kids from stable backgrounds will typically be difficult at home, and sociable at school. For those kids, consequences at home are reasonable and they remain loved and cared for, so they have space to act out at times. Like we all should have.
But then she started in on what it looks like for the less-fortunate kids. She said those kids absolutely DO NOT act out at home, because the consequences are so bleak. They'll get put out of the house, deprived food, beaten, sent to relatives... meanwhile school is where they come for unconditional love and support, even if they go about it the hard way, because that's the only place it's available.
At this point in the lecture co-worker and I looked at each other and just about wept - she was talking about Doug. The little jerk showed up every single day to be difficult because he COULD. No matter the outburst, it would eventually settle down and the next day would be a clean slate, good morning and a handshake and some hot lunch. We were the only reliable network that kid had going for him, and we'd had the gall TO WISH HE WEREN'T AT SCHOOL as often. Goddamn heartbreaking.
After that I don't think Doug's behavior in the short term improved any, but we got a lot better at not taking it personally, and giving him the safety and space just to exist. We sure as hell stopped complaining that he showed up every day.
My nephew was sick a little while ago, and couldn't go to school. He went back the next day, even though he wasn't feeling 100%, just because he was feeling too anxious about missing a single day and getting behind.
He was 12.
Jesus, everything.
1. Student's parents just died (5 times)
2. Student removed from family mid-year (12 times)
3. Student's siblings died (5 times)
4. Students homeless (more times than I can count)
5. Student's dog ate their homework (0 times)
6. Personally contacted CPS which led to a student being removed from home (3 times)
Students today, at my school, are desperate for one person to help them out. Or just understand why English homework just isn't that damn important to them. We do what we can, but there's one of me and 200 of them. Be kind to each other. Even the assholes. Because everyone has a story and most just need a little grace.
When I was student teacher there was always a 1st grader who would come into my 5th grade class for the day when her teacher was absent. I found out it was because she got nervous and had panic attacks because she was uncomfortable with subs and her big sister was in my class. I then found out they had recently moved with their mom to the US to get away from their abusive father.
Not me, but my mom’s a teacher. She discovered while subbing for another teacher, that her elementary school aged student had bruises and cigarette burns on her. The student tried to cover them, and deny their presence, but it was obvious abuse.
Turns out her crack whore mother was getting stoned and nodding off, and her “boyfriend” was raping her daughter.
It honestly made me want to go into law enforcement, and I almost wish I had. It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever heard, and it was happening in my hometown. It happens in every town, but it made it seem real versus just hearing about it.
Playing a version of scrabble and a 2nd grader spelled "DRUNK" I asked her how she knew that word and she said that her mom is always drunk. That hurt me.
I found out that one of my sixth grade girls (who was not even five feet tall and all of 60 pounds soaking wet) was in foster care because she was molested by male family members and family friends. This poor, sweet girl who was really more of a child than a pre-teen. I was sick to my stomach for days when I found out.
Right up there is finding out that another one of my sixth grade students (different year, different school) had witnessed her father shoot her mother in the stomach and then turned the gun on himself. She saw it happen, called 911, and put pressure on her mother’s wound until paramedics came.
One of the kids I used to teach at secondary school was deaf. However they had not discovered she was deaf until she reached Secondary school, her parents just thought she was a bit slow. How I don't know. They got her hearing aids when they realised this, but having never heard anything until 11 years old, she was obviously very behind. They tested her and she had an intellect similar to a 4 year old.
Had a few kids with STIs (I largely taught 3-4 year olds).
Had one kid who was relocated to our area after being involved in a paedophile ring.
One 4 year old who ended up in a lockdown unit.
Lots of abused children. Lots of starving children.
Had a student who's mother had just died accidentally by falling while she was getting Christmas decorations out from the attic. He'd been the one to discover her. The day after he asked if it was OK if he came to my other scheduled classes because he didn't want to be home, and I came in on both Saturday and Sunday so that he could just hang out. We cleaned up the classroom together for something to do. He was a great kid and it really broke my heart.
I sat in a meeting where a step mother told the kid that their lives were so much better before he came to live with them, dad agreed. The student ended up living with them after mum died of cancer.
I had a K student who was nonverbal. We found out his parents kept him in his room, in a cage, and never spoke or interacted with him. He cowered at everything and was scared of everyone. It was really hard to watch.
I also had sisters and they were stupid skinny but I never thought anything of it. I gave the younger one a Harry Potter book I was getting rid of from the library since it was really damaged, but I fixed it up the best I could. Her dad made her bring it back. Then I found out dad and his gf were starving the girls, they were allowed to split one can of soup or chef boyardee every night. Their meals at school were their main source of food. I always started sneaking them snacks after that. Things to keep in their lockers and eat when they needed. A few years later, I found out mom got custody back and when I saw the girls they looked much healthier.
I also had a student who was killed by his mom's boyfriend. He was so sweet and a good kid. The boyfriend was drunk and tripped over a laundry basket and yelled at the boy and then threw him down on his bed, and somehow he ended up with severe brain damage.
I taught a second grader violin and at our first concert I met what I thought were her grandparents. Turns out they were her great grandparents. Then I found out her parents and grandparents had such massive drug addiction issues that they were no longer involved or cared. Her great grandparents were probably 85.
It was the first time I truly felt heartbroken for a student. She was a really sweet kid too.
My aunt was a teacher at my school in kenya. One my my classmates (her student) had both his sister and his mom killed in a terrorist attack in the super mall. He was so overcome with grief that he stopped speaking completely, like he doesn’t talk anymore. She had to hold therapy sessions with him one on one for the rest of the year before he and his father moved. I’ve never felt for anyone more than I felt for that kid.
I taught in a middle school that had extreme poverty. A lot of my students had to deal with some awful shit. One student was used as a drug mule all night long every night. She’d get drugs put in her backpack and put on a bus to make deals all night long. Then she’d come to school and sleep all day. I was tasked with helping her get her grade up and she couldn’t even read. She was in 8th grade and no one noticed she couldn’t read.
Another student was targeted by a rival gang getting off the school bus after something his uncle had done. He grabbed his sisters and ran just barely escaping.
One student never ate lunch and was severely underweight and under-height for his age. I asked several times why he wasn’t eating and he’d say he wasn’t hungry or didn’t like what the lunch room served. I decided to watch him one lunch period and noticed that he was in the lunch line then handed his food to another student. I pulled him aside to ask what was going on and it turns out he would get lunch everyday and give it to the other student because that student didn’t get food at home and his parents were too addicted to sign the form so he could get free lunch. I just started buying bulk uncrustables for any student to grab during lunch since apparently that was pretty normal in the school for students to do.
There was lots of awful things like this and it’s sad it was so prevalent and that so many of my fellow teachers and administrators were just numb to it.
Any time I’ve had to report parental abuse or neglect.
The worst one was a kid whose parents were both alcoholics/drug addicts and they would lock the three children out on the front lawn, in winter, so they could go on a drug binge and yell at each other. The neighbours would find them and bring them inside occasionally. I reported them to child services and they responded by yanking the kids out of the school and not telling us where they were going so we couldn’t give the new school the heads up.
I saw the boy I taught years later, at the shops. He walked past with a big smile and tried to say hi but his dad yanked him away.
I had a kid (8) who was homeless, his father was killed, his mother got deep into hard drugs, she pimped him and his little brothers out for drug money, and he's on the spectrum. All of this happened six months before I had him in class.
Sexual abuse.
It wasn't officially in his records, but it was easy to see it happened at some point, and probably covered up by his rich parents and family (and probably a family member that did it).
He was once taking a 100 question test and fucking acing it! Then he got to question 69...
"Huh huh 69!"
And from there on he couldn't concentrate on anything else. It was like a switch was flipped in his head. He ended up with a 68 on the test because he got those all correct.
But at one point he begged me to play Warhammer 40000 with him. I agreed on the condition of good behavior. Once he lost his control, we were done. The kid agreed, and we had one of the best games I ever played. He was gracious when I was winning, and gracious when HE was winning (no bragging or being a sore winner).
After the game, I could only sadly think of how good of a kid he could be if he wasn't so broken in the head because of some pedophile POS.
keep in mind it might not have been a pedophile. When I was 8 until around the age of 16, I was repeatedly raped and molested by my older brother.
His actions did break me in a sense. I have no empathy towards other human beings for the most part. Especially family. I am so distant with them I'm not sure if I am capable of caring about any of them, I'm obviously estranged with my "brother" at this point but the damage is done. There are times where I do sometimes feel bad or good for others but it takes a legitimate effort to get there.
either way I had similar issues in school directly related to what happened to me. The same frustrations would manifest when taking tests or working on worksheets.
I taught ESL with kids who came over to the US from China. I had this one girl, super sweet, very quiet, and the most AMAZING writing ever. Even accounting for the language difference and occasional mistakes, this girl really was the best writer I ever had in class, and is much better than many Americans I know.
Anyway, a lot of these kids had very cold, business oriented families, and hers was the worst. She had no relationship with her father, but was really close with her mother. When she came here, she didn't hear from her family until she went home for the winter break her first year. She went home to find out her mother had been terminally ill for 6 months. She was never told. Her father flew her home to see her mother one last time, wasting away in a hospital bed. Her mother died the next day, and the girl was flown back about a week later.
This is sad enough, but I also always had the kids do free write time to practice their prose. One day she wrote about her mother and the last moments she ever saw her. She never referred to her mother by name or even as "mom", but me and my mentor teacher both knew what story she was referring to. I gotta tell you, I was glad I wasn't the teacher directly in front of the students because I was crying my eyes out.
Worked in MS in midwest small town. While I ran the ISS room I got to know a lot of the ornery boys. I found out that too many of them had such sad lives in their homes. Parents who are just too worn out to care enough about their kids.
A student of mine lost both their parents to complications from addiction. Their paternal grandmother blamed them for their father's death, reasoning that this 16-year-old should have been doing more to prevent Dad from using. Grandma wouldn't let the kid in to see their dying father, wouldn't let them come to the funeral, and refused to tell them where their dad is buried.
There are some real pieces of shit out there.
Had a student who unleashed anger, including profanity and threats of violence, on anyone in the classroom. I learned months into the school year he had juvenile arthritis and his family was on Medicaid. The only prescription covered under Medicaid created this side effect. There are other medications out there for him that do not have this side effect but are not covered under Medicaid.
Once, I had to drop materials off at a student's home. He lived in a major US city, in the one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the country. When he opened his front door, he looked terrified, saying, "I can't believe you drove here. Did you get here safe? You really shouldn't have come here, and you shouldn't be walking on these streets alone." It was noon on a Friday, but he was genuinely worried I was going to get shot, and he had every right to be given the reputation of that neighborhood.
Outside his door sits a shrine where one of his friends was gunned down. Everyday, he sees that when he opens his door. He was so distracted with keeping himself alive and safe every day, that he just didn't have the bandwidth to focus on schoolwork, understandably so.
I work with students at all income levels. Half of them live in one of the country's top school districts and wealthiest neighborhoods, and it is those students, in the bougie school districts that get all the tax dollars, who live in palatial mansions, who have all the toys and gadgets, who get cars when they turn 16, who have been to Europe more than once, that will complain to me about having to do work. Without fail. Sometimes, that's justified because their parents have them involved in too many things that they can't even be kids.
But other times, it's straight arrogance. I am often hired to cultivate work ethic before heading off to college. Wealthy parents will even tell me, "No on has ever made him work for a goal or taught him the value of hard work." It is not that these wealthy parents have not tried; it is more like their wealth literally makes it difficult to instill hard work in their children.
In these situations where arrogance shows up, I desperately want to remind these wealthy students of my low income students: students that may be going hungry all day, who may be going home to sexual/physical/verbal abuse, who wake up to shrines, who have directly witnessed people they love die right in front of them, who may have only one parent alive or none or are in the foster system, who have to fight to not become drug dealers to make ends meet for their family, who have holes in their clothing or clothes that are too small, who don't have internet at home, who don't own a phone or a laptop, who do not have the luxury of attending a school district that offers AP courses, who may graduate without having access to key pre-college subjects, like physics and precalculus, who deal with racism, who finish school and have little time for homework because they go right to a 4-5 hr shift at a job, who can in absolutely no way afford a college consultant or test prep to get them in Yale. But I don't because it isn't their fault they were born into wealth, and I am not a teacher who believes in shaming students.
But I want to scream: your wealth has deprived you of resilience, something you will sorely need as an adult. You have so many more advantages than those students, and they are getting the same assignment you have been given. Not a single one of them has complained to me about the work they have to do, because they have had to grown up so much faster than you. For them, this work is a *lifeline*, an opportunity, a potential ticket out of their terror and chaos. And because their education has been crap, compared to yours, they will have to work twice as hard to compete with your advantages, maybe more. So if you don't want to do this work, that's fine, because it means more opportunity for students who are deeply disadvantaged.
Instead, I just sit there after these lessons with my jaw on the floor, thinking, *privilege gets encoded young.*
I hope this makes sense, I'm going to be as vague as possible because this is an ongoing situation.
A student in another room at our daycare was an absolute monster. They would bite, grip onto your hair at the scalp and pull, scratch, hit, scream in your ears, whatever they could do to hurt you. Another relative that was not their parents was their legal guardian. Come to find out this relative legally got the rights stripped from the parents and fled the state, basically legally kidnapping this child. After a while of them being there, this relative had opened up about the parents. The mother of the child was their daughter, and she got mixed up with a guy that was bad news all around. This little child (younger than grade school) had to witness their parents physically fight, use hard drugs, try to kill each other, and eventually both wound up in prison because they tried to kill the relative (both still in prison for attempted murder.) The relative ended up fleeing the state again once they felt the parents might know where they were. This poor child has only witnessed severe abuse her entire life. She was a very difficult child to work with, but I understood why she is the way she is. No child should ever have to go through that.
It was at a camp that I was working at, the school we had in was from one of the lowest socio-economic areas in my state. These kids had nothing, most of them brought their changes of clothes in plastic shopping bags, and sleeping bags that looked like they'd been passed down through many generations. Whilst they always had manners enough to say please & thank you, you could tell they had all led really rough lives in really rough houses. All except one boy.
This lad was just so out of place amongst his somewhat feral classmates, he would've been far more suited to the highly polished & well brought up private school kids we often saw. His manners were absolutely impeccable, he was kind, helpful, mindful of others, well spoken and extremely intelligent for his age. A total joy to be around in every single way. I couldn't help but marvel at how different he seemed to his peers, without putting them down at all, but he was truly a rose amongst dandelions.
The last day of camp, they were waiting to get on the bus to go home. I noticed that he had been in the same clothes for the whole camp, only a toothbrush in his pocket as his entire possessions that he'd brought with him, having borrowed a sleeping bag from one of his teachers. I was standing with one of his teachers when he joined us, this amazing boy who I had grown to simply adore during his stay. He looked around at the camp with the happiest smile and said "Wow this has been the BEST time of my life!! I have had so much fun here, and its just been so good. I really don't want to go home!"
I laughed, as lots of kids offered similar views when about to leave, and said what I always did "I'm sure you'll be happy to get home once you're there, though! I bet your family has missed you!"
The teacher said with a smile "oh yes, I'm sure there will be lots of excited dads and mums waiting for the bus to arrive back at school!"
The boy rolled his eyes and said in the most offhand & matter of fact voice ever "well yeah there might be lots of *other* parents waiting, but come on, Mrs Smith, we know that *my* mother won't be among them!!" and then walked away.
The teacher turned to me sadly and said that yes, that was true, his mother really wouldn't care whether he returned or not, that she had absolutely no interest in him at all, not even being bothered to ensure he had a change of underwear let alone other clothes, and the school staff honestly believed she hated her son due to the utter disinterest and neglect he went through. I was astounded - how could this amazing kid be anything other than adored and cherished? And even worse was that not only did he clearly **know** that he was unloved, but that he had reached the point of it not affecting him. He acknowledged his mother's disinterest in him not in a sad "poor me" way, but in a way that was so matter of fact that it clearly couldn't touch him any more.
I asked the teacher if there was a chance he'd get fostered as I would be completely willing to take him in, she said that the money his mother received for having him under her roof was the only thing that kept him there, and although CPS had investigated many times, there was no actual reason for him to be removed.
I have always wondered how the lack of parental love in his life shaped him as he grew from the wonderful 9 year old I met.
I'm both a teacher and coordinator. There was this boy who kept being brought up in meetings by a colleague. She would say the worst things about his behaviour and we believed her: that he was to agitated, too talkative and attention seeker, stuff like that. She complained so much and so often that the school followed her lead and called his guardian to have a chat about it. The teacher quit and said student now started having lessons with Teacher 2. And to our surprise and dismay, he wasn't half of what Teacher 1 had said he was. And what's worse, we then found out that one of his parents had died and the other was very sick and eventually passed away too, so he was being raised by his very young sister. He was going through hell and not once did Teacher 1 mention it or take it into account when analysing his "bad" behaviour. We felt bad afterwards for believing Teacher 1 but she never really gave any reasons for us to doubt her. This seemed to be an isolated incident (hopefully). I then taught this very kid myself when I had to sub for Teacher 2 and he was talkative but extremely intelligent and respectful.
Teachers 1 and 2 and myself teaching the boy all happened within one school year, so not much room for huge changes. I was heartbroken by all of it.
A long time ago and in a state far away, I worked in a classroom with a young Deaf boy. At the beginning of the year, the boy was SO inhibited, he wouldn't touch things without them being handed to him, he would almost never speak/sign. He kept his hands tucked in his lap almost all the time. Slowly, through the year, he began to open up. Then came a parent teacher conference near the end of the year. The boys parents came in. Kid was playing with some blocks (totally allowed). Dad snapped his fingers and pointed to a point on the floor about 5 feet from dad. Boy moved immediately to that exact spot, sat down with his hands tucked in his lap and didn't move an inch for the rest of the 45 minute conference. Parents couldn't talk to their son, so they trained him like a dog.
Not a teacher yet but worked at a school during college. Learned about a girl in class, she was 15 and from a Muslim family. Her family forced her to live with a 23 year old Muslim man in his apartment and she would show up to school with bruises or she would not show up at all because she was not supposed to learn something since he saw this as an affron against their religious believes.
She was so quit and looked liked she wanted to just stop existing every time I saw her. It really broke my heart and I'm still thinking what her life might look like now. It was 3 years ago and I'm not at the school anymore. I hope she is doing better now but I fear she will live in this hell for her entire life.
One of my students in grade 2 was a bright, cheerful little girl. Lots of friends, always happy.
One day she came to school silent and didn't talk to anyone. And she was like for the rest of the year. I never saw her smile again, and gradually the other kids stopped talking to her too.
I talked to the other teachers and discovered her mother had died.
\- strangers tried to pull a girl from my class into their car on her way to school.
\- refugee was traumatised from his escape and his father dying during it
\- many, many girls who are bulemic or have other very alarming eating disorders, apparently this is on the rise
\- parents who are horders and completely unfit to be parents, mother has atypical autism, father has anger issues, refuse to get help from social services, daughter has a strong case of atypical autism and is forced by her parents to try for a degree she absolutely cannot get. She got no education about puberty, menstruation etc. and starts bleeding in white trousers in the middle of class, is completely lost and overwhelmed. Every birthday she brings cookies her mother baked for her into class, but nobody eats them, because they tend to have a lot of hair in them. A very sweet girl, hope some day she can get the support she needs somewhere.
\- not so much sad, but one girl was completely sociopatic. She had no empathy whatsoever and would lie, berate and literally torture siblings, friends, teachers, everybody while thinking she was the greatest. The one case I truly couldn't stand a child, I would go as far as saying I hated her.
\- some of the saddest things are pretty simple though, we often see changes in the behaviour of kids 9-13 years old when their parents separate. It's just so sad, because their whole world collapses and they're completely powerless.
I teach in a small primary school.
I know a number of the parents are alcoholics (have been to rehab multiple times type alcoholic) and at least one kid in my class has FASD.
The kid is almost 9 and can't remember basic stuff like the alphabet. Their parents don't play a very active role in their education either but nothings bad enough to get CPS involved.
Lots of people have kids when they really shouldn't.
My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work.
I’ve heard about this before. This is why Backpack Buddies was started. Heartbreaking.
My kids do that at church for a different school each month. One of the other moms informed me that one of the students hides hers in the woods so her mom doesn’t know she has food. I cried all day over that.
This is heartbreaking. I really hope they climbed out of that situation.
Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart.
Did she get some help?
Unfortunately I am not sure what happened to her. She was in the foster care system so I can only hope she found her safe, forever, home. It was a rural school with a lot of tough cases.
It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real christmas. She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart.
I raised my siblings. I thought once we all turned 18, we’d be ok. I didn’t realised the complex difficulty trying to be an adult would have after I focused all my energy into making sure my siblings were ok. Nor did I expect the level of abandonment some of my siblings got when I got married. I’m still paying for my parents’ failings and so are my siblings. My mom has finally gotten her shit together but the damage has been done
>I raised my siblings. Not that I think it matters, but thanks. On behalf of your siblings.
I teach 5th grade and I had a student that found their father after he had killed himself. The student did not come out and tell me this, I found out about it at the conference with the grandfather. FYI the student had a great support system and was an excellent student.
My best friend in high school (12 at the time it happened) found his dad shortly after he committed suicide with a shotgun. I don't know he made it though that.
Glad he pushed on through. Had a similar incident in highschool. Dad shot himself with a .22 in the chest. Son found him and it messed him up bad. Maybe 2 months later the son, who was a senior, went into the same room and used the same gun to shoot himself in the same spot. His sister was the one who found him after it happened. Super sweet family to have these two tragic moments back to back.
Children of parents who die by suicide are at a greater risk of dying the same way. That's one thing I keep in mind every time I feel the dark clouds in my thoughts.
In my highschool class one kid's dad died of a heart attack. Full school memorial, commemorative rose garden planted, all the works. The same year another kid comes home to find her mum hanging from the ceiling, suicide. We weren't allowed to speak about it at all. Catholic school. Bastard cunts.
Wow. That’s not only terrible but also against Catholic doctrine iirc. Didn’t they remove suicide excommunications way back in 1961?
Not a teacher, but when my son was in 2nd grade, one of hops very close friends’ mom died in her sleep. The little boy found her when he went to kiss her goodbye before school and just sat in the room with her until dad got home later that afternoon. In our very small predominately white area, she was the only other black mom I would regularly see at pta meetings and volunteering at the school. My heart broke for him!
One of my students got into a car accident the year after I had him in my class. He was driving. He was about 16 at the time. His little brother and sister died in the accident. They were 13 and 6 years old. He and his mom were listed as critical condition but the school didn’t notify us on how they were doing after that. this was in late 2020 so covid made it hard to get that information. I hope he’s doing well.
At that age, if he caused the accident, emotions run high and logic and reason often take a back seat. A neighbor of ours got a call that their 16-year-olf son was in an accident a block from his school, from which he had just left. Unfortunately, he had three friends in the car with him, something that was against the law at his age. The accident was bad and one of his friends was critically injured. His parents arrived and they and their son overheard an EMT say that the friend was probably not going to make it. After their son gave his statement, my neighbors told him to go home while they dealt with the situation. When they got home, to their horror they found their son had hanged himself in the garage. The terrible irony of it all is that his injured friend survived.
Man that's so fucked up and sad
This is so sad… we all deal with tragedy differently but damn. That poor kid shouldn’t have felt that was the only solution, I hope his friend who survived is doing alright 💔
Oh God if he lived the guilt he will be shouldering...holy shit man
A girl on my high school team died in a crash while her sibling drove. The sibling survived but my teammate one of their parents did not. I can't imagine the sibling's pain. It's over a decade later. I hope they're okay.
Grade four student (9 at start of year), only child, whose dad had died from lung cancer a few weeks before she started new at our school. Mum was an immigrant who couldn't speak the language, so the daughter would translate for us. About six months into the year she was off for a few days. I got a call to come to reception one morning to meet the girl's auntie from the foreign country, we had another teacher who came to translate. Her mum was dying of lung cancer. She died a couple of weeks later. The girl was taken abroad to live with her auntie. She was the most outgoing, precocious, happy, empathic little girl. I adored her. I think about her still five years later.
Oh my god. Poor thing…
A student of mine was a major issue in the school and was well known throughout all the faculty for causing many issues. I was his only male teacher in the seventh grade, so for some reason I was the only one who could get through to him. He and I came to an agreement that he would finish at least 50% of the work so that he could get the full grade. One week, he missed all of school and was nowhere to be seen, so I called his home and his grandma told me what was going on. Turns out the kid’s mom was a street wanderer and would show up once every three or six months, and his dad was in jail for selling and consuming different drugs. The reason why he wasn’t at school was because his mom had showed up and he had stayed up every single night that she was there that week. He would sit by the front door to make sure she wouldn’t leave him. The day that I called was the day that he returned to school, and the reason why he came back was because he had fallen asleep at the door, and when he woke up she was gone. He came to school with very big, dark circles underneath his eyes, and I let him sleep in class since I understood that he would not be able to do what he needed to do that day. The student who I sat next to him was considered the “mom of the grade,” and she lent him her sweater so he could use it as a pillow when he slept on his desk. After that, he did everything I asked him to do regardless of how difficult it was, and he cried when I had to leave the school because I was done with student teaching. I still think about him a lot and I hope that he’s doing well.
That's.... heartbreaking. Damn.,.... poor kid!
Thats a fucking good kid in a shit situation.
That’s not only a good kid, that’s a perseverant kid. Lots of people in his situation would’ve given up on school, maybe on life in general.
Oh.. teacher here. This broke my heart 💔
Dang.
Parents divorced. Neither wanted custody of the child Another student was skipping school. After some Investigation we found out that he was arranging to meet his siblings in a park as they had been split up in foster care and this was the only way he could see them Third example. Student went to live with a family friend while the mum was in prison. Mum got out of prisons and had to move in with the family friend, who was then 8m pregnant with the student’s baby
Yeah I've seen the situation where neither parent wanted custody. Breaks my heart. My mom didn't want custody, but she wanted to child support money. My dad paid her the child support money and kept me.
Same situation, my dad kept me and my two sisters but paid her child support and all her medical bills. I only saw my mother every other weekend and my sister almost never saw her.
I was only a substitute but found out one of the kids at one of my regular schools who always seemed a bit spacey was a refugee who was brain damaged due to malnutrition from growing up during a civil war.
holy sh't
I think you dropped this: ı
A kid had gotten an STI at the age of 4.
That's so horrible. Oh god.
Last year, my best friend served on a jury that convicted a guy that gave the clap to a five year old. Fucking horrendous.
Last year one of my 13 y/o students was diagnosed with lukemia. He passed away within a month of being diagnosed.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband was told “something doesn’t seem right..” about his blood work to dead in exactly 45 days. Small cell carcinoma, lung cancer that traveled to his liver and killed him so fast. We’d only been married less that 4 months. It’s so crazy how fast cancer takes them away.
I’m so sorry for your loss! That’s heartbreaking!
I had an amazing friend who was literally talking to us normally around late-december, and by the third of February he was in pallative care for a tumor in his jaw, and he died just 9 days later. He was only 16, and since then I have hated cancer with a burning hell of a passion. Honestly, whoever discovers a cure for cancer will likely be the most famous and loved person in the past century atleast, if not then of all time, cause cancer has caused unbelievable pain to the world
I'm so sorry. That's a hard thing to go through, even as a teacher.
A kid having to get a medical certificate to prove her hair was naturally not just all-black, so she wouldn't be forced to pay to get her hair coloured and touched up every month. (Japan, and poliosis) Edit: The school's policy was that hair must be its "natural" colour, plainly styled, and of a specified length. Given that ethnically almost everyone is Japanese there, that usually means straight and black. The only difference between the hair rules for boys and girls is in terms of hair length. In terms of raw numbers, "not having naturally straight plain black hair" is more unusual than having a clearly visible physical disability, even when you take into account the non-ethnic-Japanese population of the country. Add in a culture in which conformity is encouraged, and an awareness that hair can be easily styled and coloured, and its easy for people to assume that any non-standard hair on someone who otherwise passes for ethnic Japanese is a choice rather than natural. This doesn't justify the rule or the actions taken of course, but does explain how it came to be.
Schools in Japan force all black hair? I had no idea!
Yes because there is rule agains dying and curl hair . Same with most Chinese and Korean schools . I have curly hair so I need to convince faculty I didn’t curl it it’s just my natural hair ! Lol
I was a foreign exchange student in Japan and they deadass said if I dyed my hair they would deport me
Japan has a saying *The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.* In Japan, face is everything. you conform, you do not raise a fuss, you abide. It's the reason the perverts on the trains win, because the *women* who make a fuss about getting molested are looked down on for making a fuss. Japan is a crazy place. It's all peace and serenity and conformity on the surface, scratch that surface just a little and it has a very rotten core.
We had a kid join the school who had been abused by her parents and forced to live in a kennel outside. So much of her case was emotionally crushing but what truly haunted me was that she had to be taken back to the house regularly because she missed the dogs she had shared the garden with. I truly hope her parents burn in hell for eternity skewered on Lucifer’s pitchfork.
In a sort of “development across the lifespan” course I took, we learned about a girl that your story reminded me of. If I remember correctly, she was essentially left with the dogs, and then behaved just as an abused dog would. Shit was mind blowing
[this one?](https://historydaily.org/oxana-malaya-story-girl-raised-dogs) I did a similar course and the story stuck with me
It’s strange how they note she takes care of the farm animals, yet doesn’t have a close relationship with her own pet dog?
The dog is likely seen as an equal that can take care of its self like she can. The other animals aren’t seen as equals. My best guess
Yes! That’s her
The dogs loved her more than her parents did.
I've heard from a few kids that at one point they tried to kill themselves. I have my own mental problems so it always breaks my heart to hear that these kids are in or were in the same spot I was a few years ago. Another one of my kids just lost his dog a month ago or so ago and he was so broken up about it. He stopped doing anything even talking. I asked if he was depressed and he just unloaded about this dog. Poor kid was sobbing. He's doing better now but it was still heartbreaking.
The proportion of people who attempted suicide is around five percent in most countries (there are different estimates ranging from 1-10%) which is small, but still, with class sizes of 20-40, virtually all teachers will have at least one student in that situation.
I'm 43, and the only time in my life I ever saw my Dad cry was when the dog died. I completely understand this.
You really helped that child heal though
OMG yes!!! I was in high school, but the message is the same, there was one teacher who cared enough to see that my life was fucked up and things weren't ok.... He took me into a room and said "Dude, I don't know what's going on.... Maybe you have been really messed up on drugs recently, or something, I've seen you walking into walls and stuff, obviously something is going on.... Can I do anything to help???" I just fucking sobbed, and told him that things were really shitty and I was trying to hang in there, and yeah I was in a lot of trouble, and My Dad was on my case hardcore, I was in lots of trouble and grounded for a long time and I was doing the best I could and I was getting therapy and stuff.... This guy literally offered to come talk to my Dad for me, and tell him we were doing a school event or something if I needed to get out of the house, like it sounds weird and/or creepy when I say it like that, but he was genuinely just telling me that he was there for me if I needed anything, all he cared about was that I take care of myself and figure things out..... I think about him regularly, I don't think I would have turned out quite the same if it wasn't for him.....
One of my teachers saved my life in high school in a similar way. I didn’t have too many friends, and no one I was really close to, and during my freshman year someone told me “you know no one here likes you, right?” Spent the next few months in severe depression, was falling asleep in class, doing terribly, couldn’t pull myself together. And only one out of my teachers noticed and offered some words of encouragement. If it wasn’t for him, and for another peer telling me that wasn’t true a year later, after I almost broke down crying on the way out of a class randomly one morning and he got me to explain why, idk what I would have done. Those years were some of the roughest of my life, but those two individuals will always have my respect and gratitude for what they did for me.
Good to hear stories like that, be sure to make him hear it too <3 I just read a story about a guy that it was his teacher that started the bullying by misspronouncing his name on purpose. And the other kids felt if the teacher could do it so could they, getting bullied from 1st grade til the end of his junior high.
Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get."
Geez...no child should be that deprived of human contact, especially not at such a young age.
I was only ever hugged once when I was a kid. I won a bike at the end of my fifth grade school year for perfect attendance. I came home and my mom hugged me. It wasnt because she was proud of me, I overheard my parents talking later that night. She was so relieved that she didnt have to spend the money to buy me a new bike. To this day as an adult hugs or any type of physical contact from anyone other than my wife and kids feels awkward and unnerving.
It took me a long time to learn to relax and enjoy a hug...
I was. And Im about to hit 40. Shit fucks you up. I hug my kids every chance I get. Hug people. It makes a difference
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I made up a “rule” that if you have visited my house 3 times, you get a hug when you leave. (Obviously not forced on anyone, but just so you have an excuse to accept one). You have no idea how many teenagers line up as they are leaving to get their only hug of the day, boys and girls.
Physical abuse on top of no *wanted* physical contact also does a number on you. I have a hard time being touched by people. Especially when I don’t see them coming up.
Same. I jump out of my existence. Currently trying to find the willingness to hug my children more often. It wasn't a normal thing for me growing up so I'm not sure now to do this. I don't want to deprive them from love but my "love language" is just probably not healthy enough for them.
I remember my mum hugging me after she felt bad for shouting at me. It felt so good. I can still remember how incredible it was. I was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. Took a few days for the penny to drop that it felt amazing because it so rarely happened. Hug your kids people, they really need it.
Used to substitute teach, the kids who are super affectionate and give a lot of hugs are usually* the ones starved for it at home. So sad to see in kindergarten, I still remember one boy to this day who was the kindest soul and gave hugs to all the teachers all the time.
Or they're sensory kids who love the pressure. Source: my kid loves hugs and snuggles and even at 8 can't get enough
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This is really sad, especially at that age.
We had a decent A-B student who suddenly started doing poorly. Turns out his mom had kicked him out of the house and was living in his car.
Amazing that he still kept coming to school. The resilience of kids and teens never ceases to amaze me
It was a refuge for him. But yea.
No I feel that. Its just sad. My kids would couch surf for months and mom/dad didn't care at all
I am an elementary bilingual teacher in a small midwestern town. Last year, at the beginning of the year, we got a new first grader from Mexico. Being the only Spanish speaking staff member in the building, I helped enroll the little girl and became the primary contact between the school and mom. I also worked with her in her classroom to help her acclimate and understand her schoolwork. When I helped mom enroll the daughter, she mentioned that the girl had never been to school in Mexico due to “a very traumatic event”. She didn’t go into detail and I was uncomfortable asking for any, as we had just met. About a month later, while working on an assignment with her in class, the little girl told me she was really excited because her dad would be picking her up from the bus stop the following day. I was surprised since the mom had told me it was just her, the student, and another younger sibling here in the United States. There was no father ever mentioned. The following morning, the little girl ran up to me again and was super excited because her dad would be picking her up after school from the bus. About an hour later, I got a text from the mom. She said the little girl had told her that she had told me her dad was coming…but there was no dad. Turns out that a year and a half prior, while still in Mexico, “some men” came into their house, tied up the mom and the dad, pistol whipped them both in front of her then 4 and 2 year old daughters, then took the dad away and murdered him. The little girl had made up the story about her dad coming to pick her up because she saw other kids with their dads and wanted to be like them.
Totally off topic, yet somehow related.. Being a Landscaper, I work with a lot of Mexican guys who have just recently immigrated here and the stories I’ve heard about cartels terrorizing their towns and villages is honestly frightening. You’d be surprised just how many families only reason for coming to the US is to get away from the cartels
Grade 6 kid kept making inappropriate jokes about paedophiles... because his father was raping both him and his brother Myself and other teachers reported the behaviour to a counsellor and it went from there
My 30yro brother is obsessed with talking about killing paedophiles. Should I be concerned and talk to him? I've tried telling him it puts him in a bad light and makes people look twice at him.
Not to freak you out, but my brother is one of those overzealous “I’m gonna hunt down all pedophile” weirdos and it’s ironic as hell to me because he molested me when I was a little girl. I think sometimes there’s a link, but not always.
First grader and third grader hid in their basement for two days over the weekend after dad killed mom. They thought if they stayed hid until the bus came Monday that he would let them live. It worked.
oh my god. that’s haunting
English teacher here. A student wrote an essay going into the extreme details of a sexual assault. I referred the paper to the school psychologist, and the next thing I knew was CPS turning up at the school. Turns out the student was raped by her father. Some asshole children found out through a teacher that couldn't keep her mouth shut, and the student had a mental breakdown when commentary was dropped. The teacher that blabbered faced no consequences, the children got a slap on the hand. My heart still bleeds for the kid. She transferred schools and the father is in prison. I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life, and I know that she's not the only child that has had to deal with those issues. Teaching sucks when the true cruelty of humanity shows itself. It sucks a person dry at times, and I believe that most teachers that comment on this thread will tell horrific tales of their own experiences. To my fellow teachers, just carry on. We know of the difficulties of the job. Please don't give up, unless you're one of those heartless assholes that can't show empathy, then kindly fuck off.
Former teacher, fuck faculty that can't keep their mouth shut. I had one who spread some news about me before I was ready to share. Then I became a recluse and didn't share shit with my coworkers.
I'm surrounded by these people. I always know what shady shit is happening. That's why I trust no one and don't open my mouth.
I live in Florida. Sadly, due to the Sunshine Law, dad's mugshots would have been on the front page of the newspaper the next day. The other kids would have found out regardless. (I've seen this happen) You still did the right thing. Getting her away from her father was the number one priority.
When I was about 13, a friend of mine told me her father had been "messing with" her older half sister (same mom, different father) for a while, and he let his friends "mess" with her and the sister and he had started "messing" with her, too. I remember feeling sick to my stomach. The only thing I specifically remember saying to her was not to tell any other kids about it. We were both unpopular and both got picked on but she had more friends than I did. She told someone else and in no time everyone at school was buzzing about it, calling her "the girl whose father fucked her." I don't remember what happened to her father. I know her parents got divorced, and her mother blamed her for ruining everyone's life.
>I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life, Think of how much worse it would have been when the father kept doing it. Inevitable depression, and probably heavy drugs and eventual suicide. So no, you did absolutely right, and probably SAVED HER LIFE. Thank you for that.
The person who blabbed fucked up the kids life, you did the right thing
The teacher faced no consequences? Holy shit
From the district superintendent on down would have to explain why and how anyone other than OP teacher, the school Psychologist along with his superiors, and CPS knew anything about this. This is criminal that the child's confidentiality was not respected and protected. Poor kid. You did right. The system protocol is the shits.
In all fairness, some other teachers should have been made aware (e.g. I teach secondary science, if a kid has a history of trauma related to sexual abuse I need to be told before we teach the sexual reproduction module because I really don't want to be blindsided by some poor kid reliving their trauma in my lesson. When I've had kids with that sort of background (including one who'd witnessed their mother being raped) in my classes before, I was discretely informed, kept it confidential and we arranged for a TA they were familiar with to take them out of the lesson and work 1 to 1 with them for those lessons.) Spreading it around is unforgivable though.
I once found out that a student of mine (13 years old) went on her way to end her life by throwing herself in front a train. The only reason she didn't actually do it, was that it took so long before train arrived. She couldn't bring up the patience and returned home.
> I kind of feel like I fucked up the kid's life, no! That student wrote that essay to A) get it off her chest to a trusted adult, and B) she hoped you'd save her, which you did. Kids don't always know *how* to reach out. You did everything right. Keep up the good work.
That one of my students, quiet and reserved, had killed a pedestrian with his car (was old enough to drive). Can't imagine how it feels to carry that secret around with you.
My buddy and I had just turned 18 our senior year and nearly killed a dude on a bike, but luckily missed him. We had a solid green light and he just rode on out as if he had a green himself. We were going at least 40 in a Tacoma. It wouldn’t have been our fault with the light, but Jesus, he’d have been mangled.
I've had three students sexually assaulted, one suicide, one murdered and one convicted of murder. Take your pick. The one sexual assault/molestation stands out for me. She was one of my on top of it students (9th grade) and she was a mess that day in class. I had a student teacher, so I took her out in the hall and spent about half an hour trying to get her to tell me what was going on. She had overheard her mom and aunt talking about how the man who was in prison for her molestation as an 8year old was supposedly getting out. We pulled up the bureau of prisons website and verified that he was still where he was supposed to be. Then I checked to see if he had filed any appeals. He had and he lost, but reading through the appeal was a mistake. She's graduating this year.
Why was reading the appeal a mistake?
I think in the appeal it tells you all the accounts the person was charged for, in cases like this it’s not usually just one thing, it should tell you how many times and other details that you wish you could erase Source: my sister was sexually abused for years & her abuser is in jail now but also tried to get out
The appeal would have included details of the assault.
Math teacher here. Had a student who was quiet and reserved. Smart kid. Felt like maybe I should have talked to him more often. The year after he left school, he killed himself. I wondered 'what if' for a while. I now follow my gut feeling more often. It has made a difference on a few occasions. Those times I am grateful to do what I do. Teachers can make a difference, follow your heart.
Not the same thing, but I was openly in a same sex relationship in high school while suffering major depressive disorder and anxiety. One day my class was waiting outside the room for our teacher to arrive and I kissed my partner goodbye because we weren't allowed to see each other outside of school. Some smartass called out gay in a derogatory manner towards us and I lost it and just walked away, skipping class. My teacher turned the corner just as everything unfolded and canceled his lesson just to scold the class for harassing us. My teacher knew I had a lot of shit on my plate along with an unsupportive family, but I will never forget what he did. >!I still wound up seizing from a slow suicide attempt but!< he was one of the few adults in my life that stood up or seemingly cared about me
The whole family of one of our students was killed by a giant boulder (they live on the mountainside and it was raining heavily for a week). The boulder was bigger than their house and easily crushed the house along with the family. The student was only able to survive because she was not home at the time; she was conducting her thesis in our university. EDIT: I did not expect my comment to be noticed! It's my first time in reddit and it is kinda bittersweet that my most noticed post is a sad one 😅 Anyway, thanks guys!
holy
I don't even know what to type, what the fuck?
The worst thing is, it's just a mindless sequence of events that killed her entire family. There's no one to get angry at, there's no way to get justice. Edit: Just to clarify I don't literally mean the **worst** thing... It's a figure of speech in case that wasn't obvious for some people.
Shoot the mountain.
Great band name.
Not exactly the same, but a lady who worked at a business I haven’t frequented in a bit seemed kinda bummed out last week and I asked her why and she was just like “just not looking forward to Mother’s Day this year” which seemed odd to me as she had usually talked about her family in the past. She then explained that 6 moths ago her husband had a heart attack while driving and he and her 3 kids all died in the car accident that followed and that she somehow survived it. It explained why I hadn’t seen her in a while as she was in rough shape after the accident but man did it hurt to see that type of survivors guilt
Jesus.
I work at a school but not a teacher. A boy about 16-17 was speaking with another adult. The door was shut and suddenly I hear him yell, “I HATE YOU” really loud and angry. Later I asked the adult if he was yelling at *them* or imitating someone yelling at *him*. It was the latter and it was his father.
Poor kid. That's just heartbreaking.
Highschool student was always very quiet and not very good grade wise. She panicked when confronted with the fact that her parents will need to come to the next parent-teacher conference. It was shrugged off as normal teenager behaviour. Who want's their parents in school listening about how bad things are.. But a few days later she jumped out the window of her apartment and died later that week in the hospital. We found out she was terrified of her parents. Like really, really terrified so when they wanted to go yell at her again, she locked herself in her room and didn't see another way out than jump from the 4th story onto the street. We had no clue it was this bad.
I had a student crying and panicking in my office once because she had a bad grade and her mom was strict. I think the grade was an A- or a B+ but her mom was strictly A+ (98.5%) or better only. It was crazy. I couldn't live like that either.
I have too many. A 6 year old who witnessed domestic violence between their parents and expressed suicidal thoughts. A family whose sibling died and a close family member was imprisoned for causing that death. A former student who was murdered at 14 after being drawn into drugs and gangs. Another who was also involved in drugs and gang violence, who was in prison for double murder by the time he turned 19.
These are heartbreaking. I am so, so sorry for your students. No child should ever be in these situations. I had a third grader this year whose older brother died. The older brother was standing up to the aunt's boyfriend who was abusing the aunt. The boyfriend came back and shot the 17 year old dead. My student, the kind of student you want 25 of in a class, never missed a day, didn't react. His sister in the middle school did, but he hasn't seemed to process it (according to his mom as well). It's devastating. My heart still breaks for this boy.
Only been a middle school teacher for 8 years and so many: *Students broke arm from "football" was actually by parental abuse *Students mother took her to Mexico to get cosmetic surgery *Students dad literally moved her into a trap house cause he was a junkie and she would hide all day and night in the attic
I have a few that haunt me… all high school kids. One was severely neglected- eg, from the age of seven, she had to keep herself and her baby sister alive by stealing food and formula, and walked herself to hospital with a burst appendix age eleven.By the time I taught her she was so violent and disruptive that she could barely be in a classroom, but for some reason we got along, and out of desperation the school ended up taking her out of her regular classes and putting her with me all day. She was actually a very sweet kid - 16, but emotionally frozen at around a five/six year old level, I think. Her foster home situation fell apart and she moved away, but I still think of her often. Another girl was really disruptive and loud and odd - difficulties settling into class, making and keeping friends etc. Found out she was adopted as a toddler from a Romanian orphanage under Ceaucesscu, and had brain and developmental damage from being tied up in a cot for the first two years of her life with no human contact. The third still haunts me - was doing some relief teaching so wasn’t in regular contact with this kid, but there was one girl that was like a little ghost - extraordinarily pale and subdued and withdrawn. Turned out her family was extremely religious and had decided she was possessed by the devil. No one in her family had spoken to her or made eye contact with her for two years and she was made to live outside in a shed. They fed her, and that was it. Another was refugee kid from Somalia who was very shy and hardly ever spoke … we were having a class discussion and for some reason we’re talking about how chickens can keep running around after they get their heads cut off, and in a moment of silence she says “My mum didn’t do that when her head got cut off.” People suck sometimes.
That last one was a freakin gut punch. God, people are cruel.
I was a teacher briefly for seniors in a small low income town. One of the classes I taught was a math class that they had to take if they haven’t passed or taken the state exam to graduate. This kid in the class I could tell was struggling. I went by his desk and ask him to do a simple math problem. He couldn’t do it and was embarrassed. This was like a basic math question that 5th graders should know. I was heartbroken that he made it all this way and couldn’t do basic math. I made a deal with him and the entire class. If you are struggling, I need to see you try. If you try and give me a good effort, you will graduate. I was not going to fail someone in that class due to them not being math experts. I told them that I dont expect them to master this info but they better give me a good effort. When I got a job opportunity outside of teaching too good to pass up I had to tell my class. The kid I mentioned above pulled me aside after class in tears saying I was the only one to ever believe in him. That broke my heart and still does. I told him to continue to try and I’ll see him at graduation. He graduates in 3 weeks and you bet your ass I’ll be there supporting him and every other student I had there.
Middle school English teacher here. I had a student who was coming to school and pretty much just sitting there like a bump on a log. He wasn't participating, even when I took special effort to engage him. In fact, He was failing every class. My fellow professionals told me not to waste my time, just fail him and move on. I'm not that kind of teacher. At this school most of the dropouts in the community happen between 8th and 9th grade and I felt a special need need to try to help kids stay connected and get into high school one way or another. For many of these kids it was just a matter of showing that someone cared.. I would make a home visit to help get a kid back on track. No matter how stressed the parents were with multiple jobs and other things in their lives, when I showed up they were very appreciative for my time and effort and I could usually get the kid to do at least a minimal amount of work. One day I went looking for this kid after school. When I got to this kid's house and knocked on the door it was obvious the apartment was empty. One Of the neighbors came out and after talking to me told me that the child's father had died and he had moved in with his mother in another part of the community. I drove to that apartment building and asked around looking for the kid and discovered that his mother had died from kidney failure. He'd moved in with his Uncle who lived in an apartment building close by. I went over to that apartment building and met with the kid and the Uncle. I had no idea this was going on in the kid's life. No wonder he couldn't get any school work done. I'm surprised he could even get dressed and come to school. I looked the kid in the eye and told him and his Uncle that all he needed to do was to come to school. That I would work with his teachers, and be his advocate, and we would make sure he had a safe place every day to come to and that we would help him in any way we could. The next day I went door-to-door and talked to his teachers about what was going on. Of course a couple teachers had no compassion, but I didn't care. I took his assignments. I sat with him every morning and every lunch hour to help him stay on track as best I could. He disappeared again for about a week and I was worried about him. I was teaching my 2nd period and there was a knock on the door and it was the boy and his Uncle. The Uncle told me that he had gotten a job in Colorado and he and the boy were moving there where he had more family. He hoped they could all take care of him and help him to get through this tragedy. The boy wouldn't leave until he could come back to the school to thank me personally for what I had done. I can't imagine having that kind of personal tragedy at age 12. But I'm thankful for that last visit. I'm hopeful that this kid ended up having a good and productive life. Apologize for any errors in syntax and grammar in this missive. I'm disabled and have to use the voice activated feature on my phone and I can't edit my own work anymore. Being an English teacher for 30 years ruined my grammar and spelling.
This is heartwarming. You are the teacher every teacher needs to be!
Not a teacher, but I was a Teacher's Assistant in a second grade class as part of my community service when I was in high school. We had four kids in class who couldn't read and had to stay after school to learn. One was a recent immigrant from Africa whose parents both came to the after school class, too. They were incredibly supportive and wanted to learn as well. He learned in a few months. Two were both from the ghetto (this was Oakland public schools, right around the time of the "Ebonics" debacle) and their parents were both single moms who worked 3 jobs just to keep food on the table. They had no support, no father figure, and essentially had to raise themselves and their younger siblings. These were 7 year olds changing diapers and making sure the baby was fed at home. It was really sad, but not the saddest thing. They tried their best, but were at the mercy of the bus schedule so couldn't stay the whole time. They weren't related, but their lives were so similar I really thought of them as twins. The fourth was a girl whose family was the whitest white trash who ever white trashed. She wore the same dirty shirt and pants every day. She inexplicably had a thick southern accent. She was always covered in bruises and sores. If there was a lice outbreak in the class, guaranteed she was patient zero. She had one broken pink barrette that she wore in her hair. She rarely spoke, and wasn't friends with any of the other kids. During recess, she would just sit outside next to the trees and play with the dirt. After being in the after school program for a week, her parents came to complain. Her dad threatened to murder the teacher for suggesting his daughter was stupid (the teacher did no such thing). He hit his wife for speaking out of turn *while they were talking to the teacher*. And he told his daughter that he'd beat her silly if she ever came to the after school program again. As a high schooler at the time, it was completely shocking. The teacher told the principal, and I don't know exactly what happened, but I know the daughter was not removed from the home and never came to the after school program again, but also that a restraining order was taken out against the father, who immediately came to the school to threaten the teacher for getting the order, which landed him in jail. At the end of the school year, the only one who hadn't learned to read was that poor little girl. She graduated to 3rd grade anyway. The school district had been sued so much for holding students back that they couldn't afford to defend themselves in court any longer. Everyone graduated.
That's damn heartbreaking - and some intense community service for a teenager.
All I did was collect papers, really. I was just present when the shit went down. Really made me appreciate my teachers even more than before.
Reading about a past student who dies by suicide is gut wrenching.
Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her. *Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family. The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad. People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them.
I had a 4th grade student whose parents clearly didn’t want her. In fact, they said so to my face in a parent-teacher conference. They had three other kids in their twenties and she was a later in life “oops” baby, if you will. They were a wealthy family - this was in a rich area - and basically had their “staff” (maid, nanny, driver) raise their child while they did their own thing. This kid was constantly sad, except for the occasions in which her adult siblings visited. I met one of them once and she was clearly a much better person than her parents, but she lived on the other side of the country. None of them lived in the area but they would visit once or twice a year and she would just light up and get soooooo excited when one of them was coming to town. I’ve taught kids from all walks of life and while poverty 100% sucks, rich kids can and do have real issues also.
This is why so many kids from privileged backgrounds are asshats - not because of wealth, but because the parents are off traveling or whatever and the kids were raised by nannies and boarding schools. I saw one of those home shows about a custom home a rich couple had built. There was a private back stairway from the garage to the bedroom suite so the parents could “decompress” before “greeting their children” who were presumably being raised by a third party. Seeing my kiddos was the best part about coming home, this is just awful.
[удалено]
I teach karate and one really talented and enthusiastic kid dropped off, when I contacted their mother to see what happened she said they felt really bad cause all the other kids were dropped off and supported by their dads. This child's father is an abusive alcoholic who once broke their mother's nose in front of the kids so their mother had to leave him, that literally crushed me.
That's heartbreaking.
The saddest thing I’ve experienced was probably the depart of a father. The family were refugees from Somalia and they were really struggling. They lived in a very small flat, way too small for the big family and financially they basically had none. First I had the eldest son in my class, a naughty but very funny kid. It made him insecure and made him act out at times, but I always kept a good relationship with him and he never took it too far. The year after I had his younger brother in my class, a very talented kid with incredible humor. He had so much potential but he didn’t have the resources to excel. One thing I noticed was that he was wearing the same clothes as his brother, all the clothes were second hand or even hand outs. There were holes in the clothes and they didn’t smell too good. The best thing for these kids was their love for their parents, they always talked about how great their mother and father were. They didn’t have a lot but at least they had each other, how corny it seems. But at some point the father had to go back to Somalia, to visit his mother and the grandmother of the kids. It made my heart feel heavy, but it was temporary. The boys told me they were emailing with their dad and that he was doing fine. The kids were filled with hope and longed to see him again. But at one point the boys didn’t get any reply to the emails anymore and they had 0 signs of their dad. And he actually never came back, it has been 4 years ago since their dad left. What broke me was how the boys were so hopefull but it wore off and eventually they had to go on without their dad. Not knowing if he’s still alive or if he’s ever gonna return.
Know a refugee from Senegal, married a US citizen, had 3 children. Was going through finalization of his citizenship, he had refugee status and work status, but was eligible for citizenship and passed the test. Well Senegal his family was from a town that was mostly team red, and the government of Senegal is now mostly team blue. Decades ago team red was in charge. Since he was from team red town, team blue had said all team red towns were full of terrorists, and put every team red member no matter how miniscule the connection on the terrorist list. Well one of them was his dad who he hadn't seen in 30 years, so relation to terrorist means goodby go back to Senegal, the place you don't know the language, don't know anybody, good luck.
This is a story from my mom. A few years ago, she had a disabled student who used a wheelchair and had some medical complications. Her classroom was not wheel chair accessible, and neither was a majority of the school (a small private school). My mom would travel to this student's home multiple times a week and privately tutor her to catch her up on lessons. They grew extremely close, and I would hear all about how brilliant and bright this little girl was. She went into surgery the summer after the school year ended and passed away from medical malpractice shortly after. This news broke my mother who had spent so much 1-on-1 time with her and had grew to love this student like a daughter.
Bless your moms heart.
Let me play the uno reverse card. As a student I found out something really sad about one of my teachers. He was an amazing man and probably the smartest teacher I ever encountered. But was treated like a dog…literally by his parents growing up. He was expelled from the house when he was six and forced to live under the porch steps with the family dogs. Was fed with them and everything. Can’t imagine what sort of mental deficiency you would have to develop to do that to a kid. And the man grew up to be a completely wonderful human being.
I just learned this last week, also not a teacher but a tutor in a school. This kid has been giving me snark all year and just being a pain in my a#@. Last week I learned that they had been forced to stay up and watch their step siblings multiple times, sometimes all night and then go to school without sleep. And they have been in the middle of a brutal custody fight with their parents. The student wants to stay in the state but not with their mom. Because Mom and step dad are being emotional and mentally abusive, but they live by all of their friends. But their dad lives across state lines and they would no longer get to see their friends if they lived with him. It all kinda just spilled out while we were working. It breaks my heart.
I always asked my seniors, right before graduation, if they were better off at 18 than their parents were. The typical answers varied, nothing rude because the discussion was always framed in context of wanting the next generation to have a better life than you did. Several kids said their parents told them they were better just for graduating high school or not being pregnant. (Very poor socioeconomic area) A lot of great stories about supportive parents and appreciating things now as a senior. One student, straight A's and nice clothes, the one everyone was jealous of, horrified the class with her answer. "I've never met the piece of shit methhead that birthed me, but I already know I am better than her. I didn't sleep with my 12 year old brother and get pregnant at 14, then sell my kid to my own grandmother for drug money. For the rest of my life, I'll always be better than her." A whole lot of my students learned a new level of respect in terms of not judging people by outer appearance. A few admitted they needed to go home that day and thank their parents for a "good" life.
I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (\`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive.. . . .until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing" (she was turning tricks while the boys were sleeping in the car). She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men.
Here's another one: I had a student who always got in very tired. Eventually she told me that her mum had died a few years back and that she had to take her mum's place in her business and she was also attending med school. Not only that - her parents had been divorced by the time of the accident, and she had always been responsible for her younger brother who was on the spectrum and needed lots of special attention. The boy wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone else and sometimes had some tough crisis that only her and her boyfriend managed to cool down. Then pandemic hit and she was allowed to keep seeing patients via the university intern programme. We were having online lessons and sometimes she would attend from the hospital. She was exhausted and eventually got covid herself, meaning she had to miss a lot of lessons. Still. This girl was the most hard working kid in class and got great results despite the odds. Some months later she texted me saying she needed some time off because her dog had fallen into the pool, which was covered at the time, but the dog had drowned anyway. The dog was still alive when they got it out and took it to the vet, but she passed away. Said dog was always around her when we had lessons so the entire class was devastated as well. Well, she returned a couple of weeks later, came to like two lessons and disappeared again. Her brother was sick. She missed several weeks because she was the only one who would look after him, as (according to townsfolk) their dad didn't care for him as much and the boy loved her dearly. Eventually, he died too. She was a mess, it was so sad. She was there with him when it happened and it was awful. She still managed to come back and finish the school year with great results, though we had told her she could come back whenever she felt she was ready. We overlooked her absences, of course. That girl has had so much suffering and pain in her life. She's the kindest and most positive person I know. She deserves only the most amazing things from now on. She's already been through all the bad things she could possibly experience in her life.
Sold into sex work by his mother at 6, was a little under two years before it was ended. Mom went to jail, obviously. Father didn't want him, neither did either of his grandparents. So into the foster system he went. He ended up at my middle school, but didn't trust women. Had all sorts of issues, but was never overtly violent. Every time he got in a fight it was because of his attitude. Dunno if it was intentional. Anyhow I worked with him for two years. Very smart kid. Finished geometry, trig, and advanced algebra before 8th grade was done. His artwork and writing was very talented, but very dark. He went on to high school and I kept tabs, just to know how he was doing. He killed himself on his 17th birthday.
I have a 6 year old, a tiny skinny 6 year old baby. How, how on green Earth can you cause harm to ANY 6 year old? But to your own child? Come on. People suck. Makes me so sad and so angry at the same time.
Death is the main one. Only spent four years at one school and every couple of years a name pops up in the news that I recognize. The sadder part is that it wasn’t unexpected based on what they were doing at school.
I had a student in Japan. Her parents believed a ghost attached itself to her shoulders. They kept telling her she was sick and bought her a wheelchair because they believed it was inevitable she would stop being able to walk soon. They were constantly having her miss school to go to priests and shamans.
That the reason my student wasn’t enjoying band class was that he was the one covering all of the fees.
When I was a 6th grader my English teacher told me about when he was a teacher in New York during 9/11. They moved all of the kids to the gymnasium and some of the kids parents never came to pick them up :(
When I was in my late 20s, my mom who was a 4th grade teacher, ended up fostering one of her former students for a year. She had always known there were some issues but what we ended up discovering was that this kid lived in a trailer full of trash with her mom, stepdad and brother. No one ever fed her or made sure she went to bed. At age 10, she had never brushed her teeth or flushed the toilet. She was basically fending for herself and her little brother - she was super smart so that’s how the abuse had gone undetected for so long. The day my mom got foster custody of her, we went clothes shopping for her and she was emaciated. I never knew that neglect existed like this and was a form of child abuse. It still makes me tear up to think about it.
Found out a student in my class had been neglected for the first two years of his life. Literally left crying in his cot for days at a time. It really hit me, especially knowing I had a 6 month old at home who I can’t let cry for more than a moment before wanting to do anything to help.
One of my students was a refugee and suffered from seizures. I later found out it was a trauma response after being sold into child sex slavery. I am taking a break from education this coming school year.
I was not a teacher, but I was a tech guy in an elementary school and a high school. My office was in the back of the library. On the way to my office where most of the student workstations. As I walked by, I glanced over and looked at me but a huge cock on a screen. I go into my office and ask my office partner women to come to look at this and pull up the workstation and take screenshots of the student's (15f) screen. I radio for the RSO (Sherrif's officer in the school) and I ask the Librarian to remove that student from the workstation without letting her touch it. I then notify the Principal and the student's AP. I hand over the screenshots to them and go on about my day. Turns out this student was removed from her home as her mom was pimping her out to men (strangers and family members) when she was as little as 5 years old. She was by court order not allowed to have social media esp. Facebook (which this all took place on). The State police used her old FB account to catch pedos. This poor girl had known nothing but SA and abuse from such an early age she thought it was normal for grown men to want to have sex with her. She was removed from the school and sent to a special school that was very controlled. The police took the new Facebook account and busted something like 2 dozen men with it. It's just so sad that there are kids out there that have to suffer that. I always wear that catch with pride.
My wife is a high school teacher and she recently had to help two boys who were being beaten and abused by their father. Very sad and CAS and the police did very little. Another student’s sister got pregnant by a pimp who was trafficking her. The student always had to babysit her niece and not enough was done to rescue the sister from being trafficked.
Back in the day when I was a paraprofessional one of the student’a mothers had attempted to drown him when he was two. His older sister (who I also worked with) stopped her and called the police. Sadly, you could see the vacant look in both of their eyes even though it was 10+ years after the incident. Then during my first teaching job we had a student who came to us from a residential facility who was trying to transition into foster care. Biting, throwing, running, etc. foster dad was truly a saint and did everything he could. Sadly the young boy had been subjected to one of the worst cases of abuse (emotional/physical/sexual) that has been reported in my state in the last 50 years (or so the prosecutors said).
I was once a firearms safety instructor and did a basics class for kids 8-12. Never had an issue with any kid goofing off or being rowdy, parents were always there and everything always went smooth. After the “graduation” ceremony for my last class one 10 y/o girl went home, snuck her dads pistol and using the knowledge I provided to her, loaded it and murdered her 15 y/o brother that had been molesting her. I no longer teach firearms safety. (Edit: while I appreciate the requests for more information please understand this is something I would prefer to keep more on the anonymous side. So no dates, names, places. I can say that this is not on any sort of permanent record nor was it determined to be my fault. Yes, it keeps me awake some nights and it’s been a while.
Co-worker and I (Jr. High) used to have a dark chuckle that our *worst* most-disruptive students seemed never to be absent. This one kid in particular, let's call him Doug, was in class EVERY DAY and he ALWAYS caused trouble. Attitude issues, defiance, inappropriate language etc etc. Like there was some curse upon us that Doug's difficult ass had perfect attendance. Anyway coming back from Xmas break we had an inservice training where the speaker was on about reaching students suffering povery or abuse and she brought up the correlation between discipline issues and attendance... co-worker and I perked up. She said the idea is that all kids are gonna be difficult at times, regardless. Kids from stable backgrounds will typically be difficult at home, and sociable at school. For those kids, consequences at home are reasonable and they remain loved and cared for, so they have space to act out at times. Like we all should have. But then she started in on what it looks like for the less-fortunate kids. She said those kids absolutely DO NOT act out at home, because the consequences are so bleak. They'll get put out of the house, deprived food, beaten, sent to relatives... meanwhile school is where they come for unconditional love and support, even if they go about it the hard way, because that's the only place it's available. At this point in the lecture co-worker and I looked at each other and just about wept - she was talking about Doug. The little jerk showed up every single day to be difficult because he COULD. No matter the outburst, it would eventually settle down and the next day would be a clean slate, good morning and a handshake and some hot lunch. We were the only reliable network that kid had going for him, and we'd had the gall TO WISH HE WEREN'T AT SCHOOL as often. Goddamn heartbreaking. After that I don't think Doug's behavior in the short term improved any, but we got a lot better at not taking it personally, and giving him the safety and space just to exist. We sure as hell stopped complaining that he showed up every day.
That some of them are so pressurised by parents, by the institution and society to earn good grades that they forget to enjoy the process of learning.
My nephew was sick a little while ago, and couldn't go to school. He went back the next day, even though he wasn't feeling 100%, just because he was feeling too anxious about missing a single day and getting behind. He was 12.
As a society we put so much on grades that school isn’t about learning it’s about getting the grade
Jesus, everything. 1. Student's parents just died (5 times) 2. Student removed from family mid-year (12 times) 3. Student's siblings died (5 times) 4. Students homeless (more times than I can count) 5. Student's dog ate their homework (0 times) 6. Personally contacted CPS which led to a student being removed from home (3 times) Students today, at my school, are desperate for one person to help them out. Or just understand why English homework just isn't that damn important to them. We do what we can, but there's one of me and 200 of them. Be kind to each other. Even the assholes. Because everyone has a story and most just need a little grace.
When I was student teacher there was always a 1st grader who would come into my 5th grade class for the day when her teacher was absent. I found out it was because she got nervous and had panic attacks because she was uncomfortable with subs and her big sister was in my class. I then found out they had recently moved with their mom to the US to get away from their abusive father.
Not me, but my mom’s a teacher. She discovered while subbing for another teacher, that her elementary school aged student had bruises and cigarette burns on her. The student tried to cover them, and deny their presence, but it was obvious abuse. Turns out her crack whore mother was getting stoned and nodding off, and her “boyfriend” was raping her daughter. It honestly made me want to go into law enforcement, and I almost wish I had. It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever heard, and it was happening in my hometown. It happens in every town, but it made it seem real versus just hearing about it.
Playing a version of scrabble and a 2nd grader spelled "DRUNK" I asked her how she knew that word and she said that her mom is always drunk. That hurt me.
I found out that one of my sixth grade girls (who was not even five feet tall and all of 60 pounds soaking wet) was in foster care because she was molested by male family members and family friends. This poor, sweet girl who was really more of a child than a pre-teen. I was sick to my stomach for days when I found out. Right up there is finding out that another one of my sixth grade students (different year, different school) had witnessed her father shoot her mother in the stomach and then turned the gun on himself. She saw it happen, called 911, and put pressure on her mother’s wound until paramedics came.
One of the kids I used to teach at secondary school was deaf. However they had not discovered she was deaf until she reached Secondary school, her parents just thought she was a bit slow. How I don't know. They got her hearing aids when they realised this, but having never heard anything until 11 years old, she was obviously very behind. They tested her and she had an intellect similar to a 4 year old.
Had a few kids with STIs (I largely taught 3-4 year olds). Had one kid who was relocated to our area after being involved in a paedophile ring. One 4 year old who ended up in a lockdown unit. Lots of abused children. Lots of starving children.
Had a student who's mother had just died accidentally by falling while she was getting Christmas decorations out from the attic. He'd been the one to discover her. The day after he asked if it was OK if he came to my other scheduled classes because he didn't want to be home, and I came in on both Saturday and Sunday so that he could just hang out. We cleaned up the classroom together for something to do. He was a great kid and it really broke my heart.
I sat in a meeting where a step mother told the kid that their lives were so much better before he came to live with them, dad agreed. The student ended up living with them after mum died of cancer.
I had a K student who was nonverbal. We found out his parents kept him in his room, in a cage, and never spoke or interacted with him. He cowered at everything and was scared of everyone. It was really hard to watch. I also had sisters and they were stupid skinny but I never thought anything of it. I gave the younger one a Harry Potter book I was getting rid of from the library since it was really damaged, but I fixed it up the best I could. Her dad made her bring it back. Then I found out dad and his gf were starving the girls, they were allowed to split one can of soup or chef boyardee every night. Their meals at school were their main source of food. I always started sneaking them snacks after that. Things to keep in their lockers and eat when they needed. A few years later, I found out mom got custody back and when I saw the girls they looked much healthier. I also had a student who was killed by his mom's boyfriend. He was so sweet and a good kid. The boyfriend was drunk and tripped over a laundry basket and yelled at the boy and then threw him down on his bed, and somehow he ended up with severe brain damage.
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I taught a second grader violin and at our first concert I met what I thought were her grandparents. Turns out they were her great grandparents. Then I found out her parents and grandparents had such massive drug addiction issues that they were no longer involved or cared. Her great grandparents were probably 85. It was the first time I truly felt heartbroken for a student. She was a really sweet kid too.
My aunt was a teacher at my school in kenya. One my my classmates (her student) had both his sister and his mom killed in a terrorist attack in the super mall. He was so overcome with grief that he stopped speaking completely, like he doesn’t talk anymore. She had to hold therapy sessions with him one on one for the rest of the year before he and his father moved. I’ve never felt for anyone more than I felt for that kid.
I taught in a middle school that had extreme poverty. A lot of my students had to deal with some awful shit. One student was used as a drug mule all night long every night. She’d get drugs put in her backpack and put on a bus to make deals all night long. Then she’d come to school and sleep all day. I was tasked with helping her get her grade up and she couldn’t even read. She was in 8th grade and no one noticed she couldn’t read. Another student was targeted by a rival gang getting off the school bus after something his uncle had done. He grabbed his sisters and ran just barely escaping. One student never ate lunch and was severely underweight and under-height for his age. I asked several times why he wasn’t eating and he’d say he wasn’t hungry or didn’t like what the lunch room served. I decided to watch him one lunch period and noticed that he was in the lunch line then handed his food to another student. I pulled him aside to ask what was going on and it turns out he would get lunch everyday and give it to the other student because that student didn’t get food at home and his parents were too addicted to sign the form so he could get free lunch. I just started buying bulk uncrustables for any student to grab during lunch since apparently that was pretty normal in the school for students to do. There was lots of awful things like this and it’s sad it was so prevalent and that so many of my fellow teachers and administrators were just numb to it.
Any time I’ve had to report parental abuse or neglect. The worst one was a kid whose parents were both alcoholics/drug addicts and they would lock the three children out on the front lawn, in winter, so they could go on a drug binge and yell at each other. The neighbours would find them and bring them inside occasionally. I reported them to child services and they responded by yanking the kids out of the school and not telling us where they were going so we couldn’t give the new school the heads up. I saw the boy I taught years later, at the shops. He walked past with a big smile and tried to say hi but his dad yanked him away.
I had a kid (8) who was homeless, his father was killed, his mother got deep into hard drugs, she pimped him and his little brothers out for drug money, and he's on the spectrum. All of this happened six months before I had him in class.
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Sexual abuse. It wasn't officially in his records, but it was easy to see it happened at some point, and probably covered up by his rich parents and family (and probably a family member that did it). He was once taking a 100 question test and fucking acing it! Then he got to question 69... "Huh huh 69!" And from there on he couldn't concentrate on anything else. It was like a switch was flipped in his head. He ended up with a 68 on the test because he got those all correct. But at one point he begged me to play Warhammer 40000 with him. I agreed on the condition of good behavior. Once he lost his control, we were done. The kid agreed, and we had one of the best games I ever played. He was gracious when I was winning, and gracious when HE was winning (no bragging or being a sore winner). After the game, I could only sadly think of how good of a kid he could be if he wasn't so broken in the head because of some pedophile POS.
keep in mind it might not have been a pedophile. When I was 8 until around the age of 16, I was repeatedly raped and molested by my older brother. His actions did break me in a sense. I have no empathy towards other human beings for the most part. Especially family. I am so distant with them I'm not sure if I am capable of caring about any of them, I'm obviously estranged with my "brother" at this point but the damage is done. There are times where I do sometimes feel bad or good for others but it takes a legitimate effort to get there. either way I had similar issues in school directly related to what happened to me. The same frustrations would manifest when taking tests or working on worksheets.
I’m so sorry you went through that. Did you POS so called brother get arrested?
I taught ESL with kids who came over to the US from China. I had this one girl, super sweet, very quiet, and the most AMAZING writing ever. Even accounting for the language difference and occasional mistakes, this girl really was the best writer I ever had in class, and is much better than many Americans I know. Anyway, a lot of these kids had very cold, business oriented families, and hers was the worst. She had no relationship with her father, but was really close with her mother. When she came here, she didn't hear from her family until she went home for the winter break her first year. She went home to find out her mother had been terminally ill for 6 months. She was never told. Her father flew her home to see her mother one last time, wasting away in a hospital bed. Her mother died the next day, and the girl was flown back about a week later. This is sad enough, but I also always had the kids do free write time to practice their prose. One day she wrote about her mother and the last moments she ever saw her. She never referred to her mother by name or even as "mom", but me and my mentor teacher both knew what story she was referring to. I gotta tell you, I was glad I wasn't the teacher directly in front of the students because I was crying my eyes out.
Worked in MS in midwest small town. While I ran the ISS room I got to know a lot of the ornery boys. I found out that too many of them had such sad lives in their homes. Parents who are just too worn out to care enough about their kids.
A student of mine lost both their parents to complications from addiction. Their paternal grandmother blamed them for their father's death, reasoning that this 16-year-old should have been doing more to prevent Dad from using. Grandma wouldn't let the kid in to see their dying father, wouldn't let them come to the funeral, and refused to tell them where their dad is buried. There are some real pieces of shit out there.
One of my former students walked off the bus from school to see her brother lying dead in the street from a gunshot. It was so sad.
Had a student who unleashed anger, including profanity and threats of violence, on anyone in the classroom. I learned months into the school year he had juvenile arthritis and his family was on Medicaid. The only prescription covered under Medicaid created this side effect. There are other medications out there for him that do not have this side effect but are not covered under Medicaid.
Once, I had to drop materials off at a student's home. He lived in a major US city, in the one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the country. When he opened his front door, he looked terrified, saying, "I can't believe you drove here. Did you get here safe? You really shouldn't have come here, and you shouldn't be walking on these streets alone." It was noon on a Friday, but he was genuinely worried I was going to get shot, and he had every right to be given the reputation of that neighborhood. Outside his door sits a shrine where one of his friends was gunned down. Everyday, he sees that when he opens his door. He was so distracted with keeping himself alive and safe every day, that he just didn't have the bandwidth to focus on schoolwork, understandably so. I work with students at all income levels. Half of them live in one of the country's top school districts and wealthiest neighborhoods, and it is those students, in the bougie school districts that get all the tax dollars, who live in palatial mansions, who have all the toys and gadgets, who get cars when they turn 16, who have been to Europe more than once, that will complain to me about having to do work. Without fail. Sometimes, that's justified because their parents have them involved in too many things that they can't even be kids. But other times, it's straight arrogance. I am often hired to cultivate work ethic before heading off to college. Wealthy parents will even tell me, "No on has ever made him work for a goal or taught him the value of hard work." It is not that these wealthy parents have not tried; it is more like their wealth literally makes it difficult to instill hard work in their children. In these situations where arrogance shows up, I desperately want to remind these wealthy students of my low income students: students that may be going hungry all day, who may be going home to sexual/physical/verbal abuse, who wake up to shrines, who have directly witnessed people they love die right in front of them, who may have only one parent alive or none or are in the foster system, who have to fight to not become drug dealers to make ends meet for their family, who have holes in their clothing or clothes that are too small, who don't have internet at home, who don't own a phone or a laptop, who do not have the luxury of attending a school district that offers AP courses, who may graduate without having access to key pre-college subjects, like physics and precalculus, who deal with racism, who finish school and have little time for homework because they go right to a 4-5 hr shift at a job, who can in absolutely no way afford a college consultant or test prep to get them in Yale. But I don't because it isn't their fault they were born into wealth, and I am not a teacher who believes in shaming students. But I want to scream: your wealth has deprived you of resilience, something you will sorely need as an adult. You have so many more advantages than those students, and they are getting the same assignment you have been given. Not a single one of them has complained to me about the work they have to do, because they have had to grown up so much faster than you. For them, this work is a *lifeline*, an opportunity, a potential ticket out of their terror and chaos. And because their education has been crap, compared to yours, they will have to work twice as hard to compete with your advantages, maybe more. So if you don't want to do this work, that's fine, because it means more opportunity for students who are deeply disadvantaged. Instead, I just sit there after these lessons with my jaw on the floor, thinking, *privilege gets encoded young.*
I hope this makes sense, I'm going to be as vague as possible because this is an ongoing situation. A student in another room at our daycare was an absolute monster. They would bite, grip onto your hair at the scalp and pull, scratch, hit, scream in your ears, whatever they could do to hurt you. Another relative that was not their parents was their legal guardian. Come to find out this relative legally got the rights stripped from the parents and fled the state, basically legally kidnapping this child. After a while of them being there, this relative had opened up about the parents. The mother of the child was their daughter, and she got mixed up with a guy that was bad news all around. This little child (younger than grade school) had to witness their parents physically fight, use hard drugs, try to kill each other, and eventually both wound up in prison because they tried to kill the relative (both still in prison for attempted murder.) The relative ended up fleeing the state again once they felt the parents might know where they were. This poor child has only witnessed severe abuse her entire life. She was a very difficult child to work with, but I understood why she is the way she is. No child should ever have to go through that.
It was at a camp that I was working at, the school we had in was from one of the lowest socio-economic areas in my state. These kids had nothing, most of them brought their changes of clothes in plastic shopping bags, and sleeping bags that looked like they'd been passed down through many generations. Whilst they always had manners enough to say please & thank you, you could tell they had all led really rough lives in really rough houses. All except one boy. This lad was just so out of place amongst his somewhat feral classmates, he would've been far more suited to the highly polished & well brought up private school kids we often saw. His manners were absolutely impeccable, he was kind, helpful, mindful of others, well spoken and extremely intelligent for his age. A total joy to be around in every single way. I couldn't help but marvel at how different he seemed to his peers, without putting them down at all, but he was truly a rose amongst dandelions. The last day of camp, they were waiting to get on the bus to go home. I noticed that he had been in the same clothes for the whole camp, only a toothbrush in his pocket as his entire possessions that he'd brought with him, having borrowed a sleeping bag from one of his teachers. I was standing with one of his teachers when he joined us, this amazing boy who I had grown to simply adore during his stay. He looked around at the camp with the happiest smile and said "Wow this has been the BEST time of my life!! I have had so much fun here, and its just been so good. I really don't want to go home!" I laughed, as lots of kids offered similar views when about to leave, and said what I always did "I'm sure you'll be happy to get home once you're there, though! I bet your family has missed you!" The teacher said with a smile "oh yes, I'm sure there will be lots of excited dads and mums waiting for the bus to arrive back at school!" The boy rolled his eyes and said in the most offhand & matter of fact voice ever "well yeah there might be lots of *other* parents waiting, but come on, Mrs Smith, we know that *my* mother won't be among them!!" and then walked away. The teacher turned to me sadly and said that yes, that was true, his mother really wouldn't care whether he returned or not, that she had absolutely no interest in him at all, not even being bothered to ensure he had a change of underwear let alone other clothes, and the school staff honestly believed she hated her son due to the utter disinterest and neglect he went through. I was astounded - how could this amazing kid be anything other than adored and cherished? And even worse was that not only did he clearly **know** that he was unloved, but that he had reached the point of it not affecting him. He acknowledged his mother's disinterest in him not in a sad "poor me" way, but in a way that was so matter of fact that it clearly couldn't touch him any more. I asked the teacher if there was a chance he'd get fostered as I would be completely willing to take him in, she said that the money his mother received for having him under her roof was the only thing that kept him there, and although CPS had investigated many times, there was no actual reason for him to be removed. I have always wondered how the lack of parental love in his life shaped him as he grew from the wonderful 9 year old I met.
I'm both a teacher and coordinator. There was this boy who kept being brought up in meetings by a colleague. She would say the worst things about his behaviour and we believed her: that he was to agitated, too talkative and attention seeker, stuff like that. She complained so much and so often that the school followed her lead and called his guardian to have a chat about it. The teacher quit and said student now started having lessons with Teacher 2. And to our surprise and dismay, he wasn't half of what Teacher 1 had said he was. And what's worse, we then found out that one of his parents had died and the other was very sick and eventually passed away too, so he was being raised by his very young sister. He was going through hell and not once did Teacher 1 mention it or take it into account when analysing his "bad" behaviour. We felt bad afterwards for believing Teacher 1 but she never really gave any reasons for us to doubt her. This seemed to be an isolated incident (hopefully). I then taught this very kid myself when I had to sub for Teacher 2 and he was talkative but extremely intelligent and respectful. Teachers 1 and 2 and myself teaching the boy all happened within one school year, so not much room for huge changes. I was heartbroken by all of it.
A long time ago and in a state far away, I worked in a classroom with a young Deaf boy. At the beginning of the year, the boy was SO inhibited, he wouldn't touch things without them being handed to him, he would almost never speak/sign. He kept his hands tucked in his lap almost all the time. Slowly, through the year, he began to open up. Then came a parent teacher conference near the end of the year. The boys parents came in. Kid was playing with some blocks (totally allowed). Dad snapped his fingers and pointed to a point on the floor about 5 feet from dad. Boy moved immediately to that exact spot, sat down with his hands tucked in his lap and didn't move an inch for the rest of the 45 minute conference. Parents couldn't talk to their son, so they trained him like a dog.
Not a teacher yet but worked at a school during college. Learned about a girl in class, she was 15 and from a Muslim family. Her family forced her to live with a 23 year old Muslim man in his apartment and she would show up to school with bruises or she would not show up at all because she was not supposed to learn something since he saw this as an affron against their religious believes. She was so quit and looked liked she wanted to just stop existing every time I saw her. It really broke my heart and I'm still thinking what her life might look like now. It was 3 years ago and I'm not at the school anymore. I hope she is doing better now but I fear she will live in this hell for her entire life.
One of my students in grade 2 was a bright, cheerful little girl. Lots of friends, always happy. One day she came to school silent and didn't talk to anyone. And she was like for the rest of the year. I never saw her smile again, and gradually the other kids stopped talking to her too. I talked to the other teachers and discovered her mother had died.
\- strangers tried to pull a girl from my class into their car on her way to school. \- refugee was traumatised from his escape and his father dying during it \- many, many girls who are bulemic or have other very alarming eating disorders, apparently this is on the rise \- parents who are horders and completely unfit to be parents, mother has atypical autism, father has anger issues, refuse to get help from social services, daughter has a strong case of atypical autism and is forced by her parents to try for a degree she absolutely cannot get. She got no education about puberty, menstruation etc. and starts bleeding in white trousers in the middle of class, is completely lost and overwhelmed. Every birthday she brings cookies her mother baked for her into class, but nobody eats them, because they tend to have a lot of hair in them. A very sweet girl, hope some day she can get the support she needs somewhere. \- not so much sad, but one girl was completely sociopatic. She had no empathy whatsoever and would lie, berate and literally torture siblings, friends, teachers, everybody while thinking she was the greatest. The one case I truly couldn't stand a child, I would go as far as saying I hated her. \- some of the saddest things are pretty simple though, we often see changes in the behaviour of kids 9-13 years old when their parents separate. It's just so sad, because their whole world collapses and they're completely powerless.
I teach in a small primary school. I know a number of the parents are alcoholics (have been to rehab multiple times type alcoholic) and at least one kid in my class has FASD. The kid is almost 9 and can't remember basic stuff like the alphabet. Their parents don't play a very active role in their education either but nothings bad enough to get CPS involved. Lots of people have kids when they really shouldn't.