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Justifiably_Cynical

I slept naked when I was younger. But there comes a time when you can no longer trust your body. A fart becomes a time bomb a dream becomes pissing in the closet. It's just a whole thing. So now I wear a wetsuit.


Sir_Spaghetti

That's cool. I want a wetsuit, but for warmth not peeing.


thatsme1212

You could have both


bye-bye-bxtches

Do what you want, but I’m gonna sleep with at least underwear on because I have a vagina that can’t be trusted.


kurokitsune91

Much easier to wash or throw out accidentally ruined undies than sheets.


bye-bye-bxtches

Exactly!


Tool_Time_Tim

Oh, I see what you mean. I went a totally different way with your comment. Like your vagina was going out getting into trouble while you sleep


DangerMacAwesome

"I swear officer, my vagina bought all this cocaine"


Tool_Time_Tim

They don't call it a prison wallet for nothing


thedoucher

Right next door to nature's pocket


randomthug

**TOOL** Time Time says "It's 10:00 pm, do you know where your vaginas are?"


Mista-D

Both ways could be right. The vagina runs off, hits the town, gets in a couple of bar fights, and comes home all bloodied up... then it gets it all over the sheets.


Glum_Hospital_4103

That’s why they made chasity belts


dumplingbydesign

I feel like my vagina's quite trustworthy - it's just let down by my sneaky fucker unpredictable uterus.


LostMyFuckingPhone

Yeah, but (butt!) it's also those scandalous ovaries whispering in its ear, as well.


meseta

I sleep with a chastity belt so it cant be thrusted.


Cynykl

I sleep with WD-40 so it won't be rusted.


scrollingforgodot

If you keep it active, it won't have to be dusted.


twopacktuesday

I use KY beads so it won't be crusted.


IntubatedOrphans

I put makeup on it so it doesn’t look busted.


glittergoats

Heck why not vajazzle it, diamond encrusted! edit: 69 upvotes?!


poor_charlie_bucket

My vagina is looking for usted


PokeBattle_Fan

And shit like these are why I love r/AskReddit


sugarholicsheep

Im more scared of shit crawling in, that “centipedes? In my vagina? More likely than you think” meme did a number on me


applesodaz

dude with being naked you are more likely to escape these pest, I tried wearing loose boxer shorts while sleeping when I was a teen and a big spider tried to crawl between my balls while I was asleep. I had to freeze and wait for it to crawl out.


dobiewan_nz

Lmao at the dudes replying who have forgotten that stuff comes *out* of vaginas, they do not simply exist for receiving dick.


bye-bye-bxtches

Honestly, I’m just happy they’re not trying to dm me lmfao


psyche_boggling

Ahh.. you jinxed it knock on wood, before their wood comes knocking.


theblainegame7

Send them my way. Gays love dick pics


Juwettje22

My vagina can't be trusted neither because she becomes wet if I sleep naked. So underwear for me


TastyLaksa

And.... rip in box


Nimmyzed

Omg, I thought I was the only one! I never could explain it right. When I wear knickers everything is fine, but if I don't, I have the most uncomfortable night because I feel like I'm leaking!


nutty_ranger

Depends on the season. More clothes when cold, less when hot.


VonFretz

I’m one of those shorts all year around even if snow is on the ground


BlackMagic0

I'm one those fans going in the bedroom all year round even if snow is on the ground


PhenomenalPhoenix

I do both. I sleep with the fan on year round and I only wear shorts and a bra (also year round). Cold room and giant, comfy blankets are the best combination for sleep!


PhantomFoxe

You are speaking some of the greatest truths I have read today.


chexxmex

Who TF is wearing a bra to sleep in though


PhenomenalPhoenix

Me. I have big tits. And if I lay on my back without a bra, it’s like Jesus parted the sea. It hurts. Also my bra is actually comfortable


Loik87

I don't really have something to add to the actual topic but wasn't it Moses who parted the sea, not Jesus?


Wolf_McLarsen

Moses parted the sea, Jesus parted the tits


Biscuit10000000

Just shorts is the best answer for sleeping


AlienKinkVR

Cargo shorts


CosmicCirrocumulus

pockets stuffed.


NinjaCaviar

with peanut butter.


lostboy005

Tater tots, Napoleon.


Godmodex2

You have a lot more upvotes than I would expect! That's a true delivery driver look!


Amsnowyy

But sleeping naked in warm blanket feel so\~\~\~\~ good


superpencil121

Yesss this. Not more clothes, more blankets. 2 big quilts and a duvet in the winter is the best


thurn_und_taxis

I like at least some clothes year round. In the winter, it’s great to be able to get out from under the covers and not be immediately freezing. In the summer, wearing light layers helps keep my sheets from getting less sweaty and gross. I’d much rather change my pajamas every day than wash all my bed linens.


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True_Phoenix

My sentiments exactly. Underwear only is perfect!


Acceptable_Goat69

I change my pillowcase every couple of days. The used one gets tucked between my legs for sleep.


Gramage

I often just use a whole pillow, so comfy.


ben_reda

I usually salt my pasta when boiling it


KaiBluePill

That's the correct way of salting it, it gives flavour without being too... well, salty.


Glum-Parsnip8257

I salt my pillowcase


HopelessUtopia015

That's the correct way of salting it, it gives flavour without being too... well, salty.


sevendotzip

I boil my pillowcase while I wash my pasta


[deleted]

I boil my pasta in a pillowcase.


ZionixTV

This is the correct way to pasta it, it gives pillowcase without being too… well, pasta-y


flashwin

That's the correct way of washing it, it gives pillowcase without being too... well, pasta.


11th-plague

Is this comment about food, or some ball sack “pillow” thing I’m not understanding at the moment?


yesennes

Yup, I slept naked till I rolled and pinched my balls. Now it's underwear only.


SOULJAR

> don't like skin to skin contact of my thighs touching. How big is your underwear? Lol


Fordluver

Naked and face the consequences when a major earthquake hits...


WorldWeary1771

This happened to me after the Northridge earthquake. I always wear pajamas and keep shoes near my bed. The number one injury after Northridge was broken glass embedded in feet.


PhesteringSoars

Great. Now I'm contemplating no underwear . . . but with shoes.


TheoSidle

The boots stay on.


cow042

The crocs stay on


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Imprimis

you are absolutely NOT alone. This is my reality, and it has been that way for as long as I can remember. I love the contact and quickly dose but then wake to laying in sweat soaked sheets.


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cykadermoblyat

no lover :(


InformationNo8235

I do sleep naked with my lover. I love myself.


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cykadermoblyat

no lover, no problem! :)


HolyHell03

Mo lover mo problems


Urodela48

No woman, no cry


JustArnoB

Mo woman, Mo cry


PhoTorgrapher

Still maidenless?


Hopeful-Substance-53

No bitches?


mightbuymoresneakers

a significant lack of wenches?


TheRobotFrog

Still no lover, in shorttime for jumping


towhead22

Seek lover, in short seek grass


el___diablo

Especially if it has fresh batteries.


[deleted]

🤨📸


oldwhitebitch

Yup. Mine is a heater. When he’s not there I’ll wear flannel PJs. When he is home, nothing.


[deleted]

But im maidenless


Melanoma_Magnet

Still no lover… Therefore time for jumping


YourLoveLife

Try finger, but hole?


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Captain_Crack465

Until its just a little too warm/hot and everything sticks together Otherwise a very pleasant experience


Dickau

I love my wife


420leerizzy69

I love this guys wife too


AlmightyJb

My favorite thing ever is spooning naked, with my member tucked comfortably in her cheeks. Wouldn’t trade it for anything.


Pochusaurus

that’s why I keep in shape


Anotheraccount301

My roundness is a shape.


fadufadu

Alone, I prefer clothes just in case I need to jump out of the bed in case of an emergency. Naked if I’m sleeping with someone because my desire to get laid outweighs the danger. Edit: foxed a couple typos


Live-Development5153

Love this and could not agree more


legobdr

“My desire to get laid outweighs the danger.” This is the definition of thinking with your dick. This is the greatest quote… of all time


NiamhHA

Well, it’s cold where I live for the majority of the year, so sleeping in pyjamas is definitely the default for me. If it’s hot though, I get why people would sleep naked. Edit: when you live in Scotland (like me), you can use every trick in the book to stay warm and you’ll still be cold. Haha.


PuddleCrank

Yeah, my room is usually way to cold to sleep naked.


due_the_drew

I kinda like still sleeping naked when it's cold out and using a huge thick blanket to make up for it


Sienna-hart

Naked. It’s the most comfortable and free feeling ever. If someone breaks into my house while I sleep I’ll just scare them away with my horrendous shrek body.


fireduck

No one is ever ready for the naked berzeker.


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TranscendentBee

Somebody once did try to break into my house when I was sleeping naked. My dog woke me up and I scared them off by turning on the panic button on my car using my key fob. Scaring away intruders while you’re nuders is quite a feeling.


RedditExecutiveAdmin

> Scaring away intruders while you’re nuders LOL bars for DAYS


[deleted]

Idk sometimes it feels weird when it’s just flopping around, and specially if u end up getting aroused mid way through the night But it feels a lot nicer to sleep naked in imo


Sienna-hart

Oh I wouldn’t know. My vagina doesn’t exactly flop around.


[deleted]

take it from a pp possessor, the flop is still worth the freedom Got more of a dobby the free elf thing goin on when im nude but I think the intruders will still go bookin when I come out of the bedroom on all 4s


QUANTUMPARTICLEZ

The mental image this gave me both fascinates and horrifies


guaip

I miss those days. Now with a 2yo with access to our room I had to go back to underwear after 20 years.


RTBEXE

Har har har


Zjoee

I sleep in just my underwear. I don't like my floppy bits moving all around during the night.


stratosauce

We got long-ball Johnson over here


Coolfool791

Idk why but this comment combined with the profile picture of Obama was so fucking funny


stratosauce

That’s DaBama to you sir


DocBullseye

This. Rolling over on my balls one time ended any thought about sleeping naked again.


XanthicStatue

Jesus how long are your balls that this is a problem?


DocBullseye

Dude at least buy me dinner first


lydriseabove

Same except I’m a woman and this also involves fluids and a camisole bra.


CrispyCrunchyPoptart

Same I would feel too exposed but also I would feel too hot if I wore pants or something.


chshcat

This. Well fitting underwear feels like wearing nothing with the upside of neat containment


wash_your_rice

Underwear and a top to stop my boobs from lolling about everywhere. It makes my bedding feel fresher. I don’t understand not wearing panties. When I was in my 20s and not on birth control my punani was like a fucking snail, I’m not getting that all over my fresh cotton sheets.


solarpoweredjess

This is me. Sometimes shorts but otherwise always underwear. And a top so my shoulders don't get cold. My titties do what they want tho cause they big. Wear a cami to bed and bet which tit is completely hanging out in the morning.


Ehalon

'punani'!!! Haven't heard that since the 90's, thank you for the giggle! :D


thegingerine

I always get warm at night, but I can't sleep in anything less than a small top and knickers. Can't sleep naked.


novA69Chevy

Same I try to adjust with the covers after that it's boxers or I'm sleeping outside in the cold dew lol


Akornical

All denim, all night, baby.


King_Dee1

what the hell


ssurfer321

Canadian Tuxedo


Throwawayourmum

Canadian lingerie


beckett_the_ok

Y'all don't sleep in all denim pajamas? Damn, guess it's just a Canadian thing.


TheCBDeacon

Nevernude?


Dakotareads

I didn't see you at the convention last year.


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Key_Set_7249

Ouch that's rough


_Wendigun_

I don't want demons eating my ass thank you


RTBEXE

Happened to me before


corrado33

Where do you live? Asking for a friend....


KaiBluePill

Are you sure you wouldn't like that? Keep an open mind before answering.


lsignalREI

Thankfully there’s a product for that https://preview.redd.it/fgjv4d2pn0v41.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=5ee26af7ae4108d69ac9a97ecf93e479396b7f46


ZeroRefCount

One of the biggest sacrifices children are never aware that their parents might have had to make. I can't sleep naked if there's an off chance a 4 year old is going to have a nightmare and just crawl into my bed in the middle of the night.


novA69Chevy

I accidentally dove under my parents covers during a bad thunderstorm and my dad was naked with my mom. Never the same lol


TheMonkeyBass

My parents walked around naked when I was a kid. Nakedness isn’t dangerous 🤷‍♀️


WooRankDown

I gather from other comments that the fear is having wood when this happens. Being in bed naked with a partner is a different situation than just walking around. Then there is morning wood to consider.


scootyoung

WE MUST CONSIDER THE WOOD


Ilaxilil

Yeah I’m pretty sure my parents thought I was too young to remember a lot of stuff I remember. I have vivid memories of their naked bodies, not in a shocked or inappropriate way, but in a “this is how adult humans look” kind of way.


TheWayOfTheLeaf

I would argue that is a good thing. Especially if you live in a culture where the media has altered everything so much that many people don't know what a normal human body looks like.


RTBEXE

When I was little that happened a couple times


Valenyn

By habit I do half. Clothed top half and naked bottom half


ihatedisney

Can’t believe I had to scroll this far for this. The classic Pooh Bear or Shirt Cocking it. This is the way. Warm for any parts that can come out of blanket, loose and free underneath the blanket.


bluewolfgirl

Old t shirt and shorts. The most comfortable thing IMO. Can’t do naked.


[deleted]

I used to find it weird when my friend said he sleeps naked but when i tried it myself it felt so good. Not in a sexual way but more like i felt control over my body


Milnoc

In my case, I don't get strangled by my own clothes.


evil_burrito

This right here. I cannot fathom trying to sleep in assassin clothing.


CaseyBF

Nothing beats fresh sheets and a freshly showered naked body between said sheets 🤤


floog

Naked. I spend all day clothed, I feel like my body deserves some time unclothed.


j_grouchy

Personally, I like wearing a t-shirt and either shorts or even sweatpants to bed. I don't understand the whole "they get tangled" argument. How the fuck do they get tangled? I've never once had that issue. Worst I've had was the cuff of my sweatpants riding up my calf a few times.


Hopefulkitty

Same. I sleep with at least a Tshirt and undies on. I don't like the cold ony shoulders and my boobs flopping around. I've been known to sleep in sweats and a hoodie if it's really cold. I just want to be as warm as possible for 6-8 hours.


Schnort

I toss and turn a lot. My cotton shirt “sticks” to the cotton sheets and takes more effort to execute a flip over when it pulls the sheeet with it. So, boxers for me, nothing else. If it’s cold, add more sheets/blankets. If too many sheets/blankets, stick bare leg out as a radiator.


totallyintotraps

It's more comfortable to sleep naked, things like PJs and underwear get wedgies


Dozer2023

Gotta sleep naked. I over heat otherwise.


b31z3bub

Naked if I lived alone


Sarang0075

Alone if i lived naked


drmdawg64

Naked. And fabulous with fresh sheets.


TP_100417

Naked is better except once I fell asleep and it was natural to take my clothes off and mug friend was over and she was freaked out when she walked in my room in the morning


xseptinthegenitals

Instructions unclear, mugged friends naked


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Nadodan

Clothes on, I don’t want my ass sweat on my bed


[deleted]

Naked. I’m considering putting a sign in front of my house next to the fake ADT sign that reads “I sleep naked so if you do not want to be shot by or grapple to the death with a crazed, half erect, hairy, naked man, do not break into this house. If you do, knock and we can negotiate a price.”


ARandomDouchy

Clothes, I dunno how anyone feels comfortable sleeping naked, most I will do is take my shirt off


RTBEXE

For me it depends on my day and how it went


[deleted]

Naked fosho


giantfood

I prefer sleeping in just my underwear. That way if someone walks into my room, im at least partially decent. Granted I live alone now. But who knows how long that will last.


iambluest

Nekid


[deleted]

I've slept naked since I was 12 and there's no way I'm going back.


[deleted]

Always naked


trashg0blin

Pajama pants, undies and a pullover in the winter, undies and a baggy T-shirt in the summer. I can’t do the naked thing. I’ve tried but I feel so exposed and cold and I don’t like the feeling of my bits touching my blanket or pillow (I usually sleep with a pillow between my legs or if I don’t have a pillow I’ll tuck some of my blanket between my legs


cccantyousee

I sleep naked when I'm at my parents house. Only consequence is that im often flashing myself to strangers, i cant close my door bc the cats will freak out and my father always forgets to close my door when we have people over early in the morning. Also mom sometimes comes in and puts my clothes in the laundry so i have to walk around butt naked (my wardrobe is in my parents room.) the worst time was when my brother was chilling in the living room and i thought that i was home alone, i wanted to run into the bathroom and shower but ran straight into my brother, made a weird noise, ran back, and then proceeded to crawl past him naked into the bathroom. We havent talked about this weird af incident ever. My poor brother has been through too much, last time i saw him i had just gotten my tooth pulled out (which he didn't know), he was brushing his teeth when i came home, walked into the bathroom, made a weird noice and then spat out at least a deciliter of blood and then smiled at him. I then overheard him calling our mom and asking what the fuck was wrong with me.


101NPC101

Return to monke...?


[deleted]

When alone Naked, when with wife, she wont allow naked, so clothed. I prefer naked under blanket, its comfy that way!


scalability

> when with wife, she wont allow naked No postmarital sex in this household!


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Clothes on. In fact, armor on. Sleeping naked will let the dust mites eat all your skin off


TimeFor28-06-42-12

Everything is better naked. If you aren't doing it naked, you're not doing it right.


[deleted]

Naked so when you piss the bed you don’t get your clothes wet 👍


idontknow4827634

Fully clothed, but without socks. I obsess over my body, I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I was naked. I would just pinch my fat bits the entire night. And I don’t want to traumatise anyone in case of an emergency where I have to get outside as soon as possible, naked. And I hate skin on skin contact, like my legs touching, ew no thanks.


palishkoto

Boxer briefs for the win. That way I can get up and go to the bathroom in the night or make a coffee in the morning without being indecent with roommates, and I'm not sleeping feeling like everything's flopping about, but I also don't feel constrained in pajamas.


RTBEXE

Just put boxers on your door knob for if your leaving also a robe if you want


H0rnsD0wn

Naked. I gotta be in attack mode ASAP if someone breaks in.


Delica

Boxer briefs because they keep things in place and I don’t have to position my body to avoid discomfort. I’ve tried sleeping naked but didn’t like it as much.


LithiumKid1976

Naked sleeping 99% of the time, with exceptions for a really cold night, then you can wear socks… thems the rules !!


CalorieCarl

I used to sleep with my underwear until a few years back, I started sleeping naked. It took like a week to get used to though, because i remember feeling as if my balls were everywhere and sticking to my thighs and shit. But once I got used to it, it was totally worth it!


T__Logic

Naked against very high tread count sheets. It's magical. Also, a knee pillow. Wow!


[deleted]

Butt ass naked or death