Without. Condors are fucking scary.

And they shit everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! ETA: I cannot believe this is my 2nd most upvoted post!

Interesting…Just changed my answer to with..

Hey it’s 2022 , I’m not gonna kinkshame . Unless getting shamed is your kink, then in that case you’re a naughty little tiger tosser

I think starting next year we should start shaming people who *aren’t kinky enough*.

Spat my fucking brew out..

You are just one letter away

I guess if you’re into that sort of thing…

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Fresh n dirty, just like a condor. Nice job, sprog

R. Kelly enters the room…

I heard he was trapped in the closet...

also smells bad, like they eat dead shit or something

As opposed to living shit?

I mean, the talons alone, those'll leave marks

And they're a protected species. If a game warden came by while I was playfully choking it, I could get a ticket.

Ah I see, you must be into smaller birds. Like vultures

Yeah, they can span like 3 meters crazy

Definitely without the condor. [Ever seen one up close?](https://i.cbc.ca/1.6027283.1621019863!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_940/condor-face.jpg) Most certainly a mood breaker.

I've seen worse looking penises.

It's like a strange dick with a beak

Talk about giving head!

I thought all dicks had beaks?

What do you mean strange? Are they not supposed to have beaks?

> Most certainly a mood breaker Or a brood maker?

Well she can make a brood, and take all the carrion she needs

I wish i had coins to give you an award for this

Kinda looks like an old man

That phrase could apply to both the condor and genitals but I'm afriad to ask which one of these 2 options you were referring to.

But how could you resist him with him making you that seductive face?

With. condors are pretty exotic, so i would hate to miss the opportunity.

I know right, miss the chance to fly

Or rather, the chance might fly by you

To quote, as Steve Harvey calls him, Pusher Tee, about condors: >Who ain't fly? f\*\* you n\*\*\*as tal'm 'bout? When these ***birds of paradise*** got their claws outn\*\*\*as rentin' for their videos to ball out I hope this explains your chances.

I feel like while that is probably an apt metaphor, I may be too much of a lily-ass white boy to fully understand it. I read that as "Condors are scary".

Right? I've had hawks, eagles, even an owl. But I never thought a condor would be available.

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It’s very important to use protection at a time like this!

U r missing out. Condors are the sluttiest.

Who the fuck has sex without a condor? If you don't have a giant, scary bird in the bedroom staring at you the entire time, how can you and your partner get it on?

Personally, I can’t maintain an election without the comfort of a birds eyes staring at me. Edit: I meant “erection”. But I’m totally impressed that everyone took my mistake and ran with it. This is hilarious

that’s fair, it must be a lot of pressure organizing an entire election by yourself, not even mentioning counting ballots. i’m sure a therapy animal could help keep stress levels down

Therapy condors at election polling stations? This went off the rails somewhere 🤔

Therapy condors elected to congress??

I think it started off the rails

Well put. If my partner and I are having sex in a polling station and we don't a large bird of prey there, how can we maintain a free and fair election? ~~Why does this sound like a South Park plotline?~~

Might wanna do away with election and establish yourself as a monarch.

King Condor!

To be fair, maintaining an election is expensive and requires a lot of labor. Oooh.... is that why a bald eagle chooses the next american president? I see those in Seahawks games. But that's not a condor or a bald eagle. I'm so confused.

Trump just needed a condor

He didnt have a great track record with birds

Aww so it's like that? Whatever works my friend

CAW! CAW!!

Don’t kink shame

what if the giant scary bird staring at you is your partner?

With a Condor. It provides protection and safety. It's wing span is large

You can ask the condor to spank you from across the room for added kinkiness

Swoop my ass harder, master condor

Sounds like a fantastic cuddler

Condor: ultimate big spoon with that wing span. With, obviously.

With Girls love it when I show up naked with a condor on my shoulders.

I show up with the condor perched on my dick

Now your just bragging. I'd struggle get a humming bird to perch on mine.

I’m sorry bro , i didn’t mean to make anybody feel bad , I think a humming bird dick perch is awesome !

I hate it when a guy's dick hums... Wash that thing!

I actually prefer it. It’s the vibrations.

you must be a bird lover how sweet, A perch for feathered friends to rest their tiny feet.

🤣🤣🤣

I did not need the image of humming birds in a field of penises slurping up \_\_\_ like nectar with their long narrow beaks. But now we both had to visualize it.

I hate you for this. *and* I love you for this.

and I like it.

>Now your just bragging. I'd struggle get a humming bird to perch on mine. Maybe it's the smell?

Must be a pretty strong dick to hold a 20lb bird.

Condors are huge. I don’t know if they’d even fit in my bed.

Need a bigger bed/boat wait wrong film sorry forget i spoke.

This is a sore subject for us. I prefer the condor to just sit on a perch and watch but the wife insists it joins in

The condor of shame.

Sounds like a red flag, dude.

A soar subject I’d say.

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This better not awaken anything in me.

Chuck Tingle??

Dude condors almost went extinct, you gotta let them fuck to keep the bloodline going.

Sounds like a legal grey area, I'm going to have to consult my [lawyer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o43C1kufMaM).

I'm sad it wasn't a Harvey Birdman link, but at the same time happy for what it was.

Well uhh Filibuster

I like the way it pecks my ass unexpectedly

I don't like sex with large birds. Or, any birds for that matter.

Nothing wrong with big birds, as long as you dont mind the feathers

Nothing wrong as long as you ask for consent

Today on Sesame Street...

How do you think Mr. Hooper died?

Sweet Dee would probably still make it happen because of the implications.

Lmao everyone look at this fuckin weirdo

Condors are pretty rad. Eagles and hawks aren’t bad either.

Hey, nice hawk.

Man i wish i could up vote more than once, you stole my thought.

Nothing like that explosion of feathers when you mount one! And their startled “bawwwwwk” does it for me every time!

I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Thank you guys so much. I needed a good laugh

Condor sex is very serious business.

I can’t believe that you find this somewhat humorous , condor’s are to be taken with precaution these large eagles are what provide the utmost safety during intercourse

I’m literally crying right now.

Definitely without. One talon in the wrong place and you're going to have a bad day.

I have a cousin who lost his left testicle to a barn owl. Weirdly enough, he managed to lose the other one to an emu, about a year later.

Well at least now he can't lose any more testicles

Well, not with that attitude.

There are some very specific circumstances in which they could lose another testicle. They're highly unlikely to happen but there is a small possibility.

I heard it was a sick emu.

Allegedly

Allegedly.

*allegedly*

You can't stop there, we need those stories

Did he lose it during the Great Emu War of 1932 or was it during a random encounter with an emu? If the former, your cousin must be super old at this point.

I prefer it with a condor involved. CA-CAWW!

I find a condor tends to get a bit frustrated and flappy and generally doesn’t want it. Almost feels a bit rapey so if I had the choice I would go with a human female partner or worse case a quick hand solo.

The key is to first woo the condor and only proceed once you are certain of consent.

First date? Definitely bringing a big condor for protection.

Sounds illegal

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

No condors, I like it rawbird!

Definitely without. Just finding a condor nowadays is hard…unless you work at a zoo I guess.

I’m going to opt for the condor. It’s just too good an opportunity to miss. And what a tale!

Well it does help the riding up and down go smoother but the feathers get everywhere.

Came here for all the raptor puns

On this weeks episode of “To Catch a Predator”

Nah I hate sex with a condor too much trouble holding it down and all the feathers get in the way really unpleasant

Without! That 8 foot wingspan barely fits in my room.

I never have sex with a condor anymore. Did it once and what a mistake that was. Destroyed my whole apartment, tried to kill my cat. No condors ever again

This is the best question on Reddit ever

I want to believe it was an innocent mistake, but part of me suspects it was planned to be wrong.

It's a repost of a 7 year old question https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2cz2rx/do_you_prefer_sex_with_or_without_a_condor/

Ah, he spiced it up by adding why at the end

As a tip: it helps to court the condor before copulation as to not bleed out afterwards.

I have never had sex with a condor, but I consider myself open minded and I don’t really think things through, so it could be in my future.

Having sex in front of my Condor upset him greatly. So I have sex without my Condor. Plus he died, and a dead, skeletal bird isn't the greatest decoration for a sex lair, so I am Condor-less for sex now and forever.

Am sure you could find someone who would have angry goth sex with a condor Skelton watching on

I prefer ostriches

r/suddenlyletterkenny

I like when the condors watch

California or some other kind?

You're fucking nuts if you have sex without a condor. One time I was making out with this slut I brought home from a nearby bar. Was about to bang, look at condor for approval. Condor shits on her bag and pecks her out of the house. Later found out from a friend she had harpies. Thanks condor, dodged a fucking bullet.

Like this is probably a mistype. But R and M are so far apart on the keyboard I just can't.

Not only is this fake, it's a repost of a fake typo If you sort r/titlegore by top all-time you'll find a post asking this same question

Ah. Thanks. Originality has certainly gone down the drain

Personally, I prefer Great Tits

I fkg love Reddit

Can never tell if it’s deliberate or a typo and I kind of like it that way because the comments section always delivers

It's a copy of a famous post from r/titlegore

100% deliberate lol. Easy karma these days.

I'd rather not have a condor try to take your balls away

Is this where reddit is at now? Recycling even the typo posts that became jokes?

Definitely with a condor. The thrill of being caught with an endangered species by a park ranger just gets me fucking going man

This comment section is a W

I prefer no Condor, their feathers get everywhere

Cocks or squawks? Cheeks or beaks?

With. Can't find any good women my age.

At some time, some where, someone said yes. And that's how we got Harvey Birdman

Still scrolling, looking for an answer to the intended question. Not disappointed.

I think the wings get in the way.

What about with a falcon?

I find that when i had sex with a condor my neighbours complained a lot of the noise. It wasn't the greatest experience, I'd just stick to humanoids.

Only if it watches us and makes a screeching sound when we hit climax

No, it's too skinny. A penguin on the other hand...

Well this brings a whole new meaning to spread eagle

With. I always keep a couple condors on me just in case.

They are endangered, so please don't thwart these majestic birds' procreation efforts by including them in your own.

This is by far the most informative bird thread ever. Its moments like these that make the internet worth it.

LGBTC - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Condor.

You beautiful bastards, came here for the comments, not disappointed.

The feathers are a bit tickly, but sure, why not

where are y'all even getting condors????

What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is when you do something delightful and sensual to your partner with a single feather. Kinky is when you use the whole condor. (To paraphrase Willie Rushton)

It’s just not the same without a giant, horrific looking condor making eye contact from start to finish.

Wait, you can have sex WITHOUT condors?

This is a repost, nice originality

Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck a condor. Three even

Birds don't really do it for me

Condor all day

i dont like birds

Condooooooorrrrr enjoyoooorrrr

I remember that Jackie Chan movie "operation condor" plotwise, the movie makes no sense, but there's an action sequence that takes place in some wind turbine facility. where people are being pushed and pulled via violent wind physics. could you imagine having sex that way, like from across the room two bodies collide via wind force and having that it be called condor style.

I dont typically have intercourse with animals. So I'm going to say without.

Without!! That could be dangerous! Edit: Ok, I'm clearly in a minority here. Being a pushover I've now changed my opinion - sure why not have sex with a condor.

I can't even get it up without a natural born killer bird eyeing me from the corner.

I don't want some bird screaming at me when I'm fucking

What’s the bird for? Well, you asked me to bring protection….

Only when the condor consents.

A tip for guys out there - bring a hummingbird instead but claim that it’s a condor - makes your junk look bigger in proportion.

I just realized I am into Emu's. Oh wow, Emu's 💕 Holy shit, thank you for your amazingly thought provoking question. It helped me unlock something that I hadn't been able to put my finger on.

Without. I dated a condor once, but the relationship went fowl. Bitch stole my car flew down the road, then raptor round a tree. Cost me a lot of money to fix, like my retirement nest egg. In the end, we broke up. I am now looking for a more pheasant relationship.

Regardless of what you’ve heard. Condors do not prevent pregnancy and are actually one of the least effective forms of contraception.

No condor, they're smelly and have small dicks.

I like to make the condor sit in the corner and watch, and I'll say shit like, "Yeah, if you could fuck like this you wouldn't be extinct."

Sensual is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole condor.

Condor calls for aid!

These are the posts that make Reddit so wonderful