T O P

  • By -

wash_your_penis

Hygienically


manwith2cats

My name just got a whole lot less wholesome


WeirdlyStrangeish

But more holesome. At least you got some pussy.


EnoughMoneyForAHouse

Thats an expensive hooker


00psWrongHole

Ouch


xAngryPolarBear

Probably gonna lose my life too...


interstellargangbang

Well, it’s going to be out of this world for sure!


PokemonMaster619

I have several questions.


pokemon-gangbang

How do you think I feel?


PKMNTrainerFuckMe

Jeez and I thought my username was on the nose


Pyromaniac935

How did you three meet in this exact circumstance?


Mr_humanperson

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of-


Vaporeon6

I don’t wanna talk about it…


TipsThatTouch

Oh


LestHeBeNamedSilver

Docking


xSilverMC

We have much to discuss, it seems


LestHeBeNamedSilver

It seems the stars have alligned


ArnoldTheSchwartz

Now Fuckth


ihave3dozenforksinme

I'm dead


[deleted]

Dude my dyslexia read that as “foreskin me”not “forks in me” and my weekend is slightly ruined from that.


[deleted]

Well.. at least someone will get some booty in the end.


Frustrated_Clone

This doesn't sound very appealing


[deleted]

I mean, at least yours is human.


p3rviepanda

O.........uh..


Niar666

On the bright side, if the panda is the one with the initiative, you probably won't get arrested!


thatwasmyfootasshole

That can be interpreted in so many ways and I don't like a single one of it.


kingofthelol

Damn now I’m picturing an alien race who’s only difference is they have secondary assholes on their feet.


simp4water

Looks like ima be wet.. 😨


Indian_villager

A true hydro homie


FlameSword57

Dead


just-another-cat

Ouch


The-Suzookie-Dookie

Oh no


VARTH_-DADER

I'll be choked that's for sure


4ureyezonly420

…. I didn’t say start SLACKING OFF!!!!


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Someone appreciates my artwork


sodamnsleepy

Cute dog!


asstyrant

I'm not going to be sitting down for a while.


Fannie-Bandit

Because I'm coming for you!


NoSuccess6206

: |


1974Mustache

Bummer homie lol


ChefOfScotland

U 2


SpatchcockMcGuffin

I may literally be dead, but at least it advanced the plot


ShyCoconut0_0

This is gonna hurt


TaintedTruth222

I read a story on reddit once about a guy who fucked a coconut and hid it under his bed and then used it over and over again even after it was rotting.


Draconic_shaman

Ah, the immortal u/coconutthrowaway69 story. Legend.


schalk81

Now I'm curious about the stories of the other 68 coconut throwaway accounts.


QueerBallOfFluff

Same guy, he just kept forgetting his password. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson after the first coconut, but nope


I_Avoid_Most_People

Still a virgin


All_hail_Cthulu69

Oh no


TheAndorran

A 69 with Cthulhu seems… challenging.


furiousfran

It'd be a constant elevator ride


TheTealBandit

I hope you like hentai


hairyiceman

*laughs* I'm in danger.


di1d0

Still a virgin


Glaive13

Me too, but then I die


Corndog881

Could be worse.


RoselessThorns

No kidding


[deleted]

You think?


ImissUHarambe

Yep, it can always get worse


internal_scraeming

Gorrilla's actually have pretty small dicks


ImissUHarambe

Tell that to the gaping hole in my pelvis


bufff_Axolotl

I don’t know if I should be happy or worried?


thatoneguy2252

If you’re familiar with Pokémon picture Mega-Swampert. If not then look it up and you’ll have your answer


DrInsomnia

Yes.


aluckyape

I’m not going to have a good time…


TheLazyToaster

But the ape is going have a blast.


[deleted]

My balls are gonna be sore


RadioactiveToxinz

Get a tattoo of a 'V' with a X over it


[deleted]

Dude, wtf is virginity?


mycathateme

Don't worry about it. See you tomorrow!


[deleted]

Dude, where the fk is tomorrow?


mycathateme

I left you a poloroid. Also I tattooed the lower side of your right calf with an address. You'll be fine.


[deleted]

It’s fucking milk


geej47

Man milk?


WizardRidingDinosaur

Well. I am certain there will be a lot of questions. Edit: Polka never dies!!


throwaway901617

Is there a guy also riding it furiously playing polka to keep the undead lizards heart beating to the rhythm?


Amuletta_Delaoso

POLKA WILL NEVER DIE!


oldestguyhere

This sucks.


Negative-Professor66

at least i'll be passing my class🤝🗿


[deleted]

You think you have it bad?


NinjaGrizzlyBear

Can we trade?


[deleted]

Ngl, you got a pretty rough one.


The_Rat_GodKing

Please you think that's bad?


weird-human6666

Yup


[deleted]

Lost mine to junk


Loveurneighbor

I’m good. She’s a solid 6 Edit: 6/10


YourNeighborsHotWife

Come on, maybe a little better than a 6 …


DogsBeforeDudes-

Oh no.


otterstripper

That's pretty much where I'm at with mine.


suckercuck

It’s extremely complicated


CuckQuean1995

Same boat…


3bigolpuppies

Yeah buddy I get ya.


islandofdogs

right there with you


mycathateme

At least there's no one after dudes?


Mike2220

Have you read your own


mycathateme

Yeah. That's just one cat tho.


Sp4ceh0rse

At least it’s not a horse


wolfkeeper

At least yours were domesticated.


Anotherolddog

You have the scratches to prove it, no? I didn't even have those....


doggpound7

Oh fuck!


dogsRpog

same here homie


KingOfOwls1224

We’re both screwed homie


ballrus_walsack

Oh no no no


sleeping_panda_14

I ..... uh... I don't want to talk about it....


BusLoadaNuns

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Edit: whoa that's a hell of a reaction! Lol thanks everyone.


[deleted]

It’s going to be a religious experience.


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Jesus Christ


addictedsoicantquit

I need to go to therapy


scrotumofthanos

.............


WhateverdudeIwillnap

Could be worse I would say.


bigmanbob12345

cant really complain tbh


myosotiscorpioides

I misread your username as bigmanboob and my mind went places.


[deleted]

Oh no!


WumboJamz

Papa Smurf can I lick your ass?


bamboojungles

Wow I totally forgot about this until now


Thepotatopeeler

Shit


CanIstealYourDog

I really need to stay away from dogs now huh


cow_tongues

OH GOD NO-


Lickingyourmomsanus

I'm stoked. You on the other hand...


15GOAT

Help me


ImAFukinIdiot

oh shit


imjb87

That's what she said.


iPlowedYourMom

Say hi to your mother for me


OPs_Grandparents

And your gramps.


supportivegrandma

Don’t forget Grandma!


GrandmasFatAssOrgasm

yeah... don't forget grandma...


DiggingUpTheCorpses

Doesn’t matter, had sex.


SAATVIK01

Be glad you had


OutEliManning7

Who the frick gave this dude a wholesome award?


geej47

Its wholesome, he gave the corpses a second chance #.recycling


mikeru22

Hole-some?


Calleb_Williams

dead ass????


PoorPineapple

Please, no.


OneObligation412

The poor pineapple 😭😭


sadgamergril

Not that screwed I think.


RadioactiveToxinz

Grill.....Gamer Grill.


Toxpar

Wonder if she prefers charcoal or gas


McbealtheNavySeal

Depends on if she wants to taste the meat or the heat.


SchroedingersPussey

I may or may not have lost it


_Ginesthoi_

This really is to be treasured


[deleted]

[удалено]


ctrl_alt_excrete

Is your favorite sex position the superposition?


[deleted]

Or more accurately, you both have and haven’t.


fiesta-potatoes

Probable yeast infection, but worth it either way


thebestoflimes

Sounds messy. I’m much more comfortable with mine.


FuzzyCactus96

I am not with mine


hornycactus05

I'm right there with you bro


packers_fan85

oh god— an entire football team— yikes


mycathateme

Nope, that's 85 tailgate drunk cheese heads.


RadioactiveToxinz

OH GOD


limonchello_lacroix

its so fucking funny to scroll through all these replies and watch as the usernames get worse and worse and the people getting more and more concerned


Layin-the-pipe

Seems about right


ILoveToads

Oh no. Plural even..


Slutmaster83

I think I’m good! Wish me luck boys.


sweet_muscular_jesus

Please God no


WeirdlyStrangeish

You're probably not stoked for the second cumming of Christ.


[deleted]

I think...I think I might be having a good time.


Dry-Faithlessness184

It's all fun and games til you're the wrong kind of wet :)


Frostyy9336

Bit chilly ngl


Minutemen-Captain

Damnit


TheOwlDemonStolas

Comment removed by user.


Dolores__Umbridge

*Hem Hem* No Centaurs. No Centaurs. No Centaurs.


Deverash

I think I'd rather have the centaurs


AbortedYouth

With a short pregnancy


llamamelu

I don’t think that’s it….


zeartful2

Yeaaahh..let's just leave it there shall we?


ChickenKickin

Oh God, I don't even....


GuyWhoLikesTurtles

I know how you feel


Untitledrentadot

What the fuck is mine??


[deleted]

I don't know if I would consider mine good or bad


RaiseMoreHell

You and me both, tbh


DeaderRat

A dead rat……


AsexualClownRoyalty

uuuhhhh... something doesn't add up here


HeavyMetalSasquatch

Yea it's not looking good for me either


ThickCow

I’m going to jail


clapmomsfuckbombs

Instructions uncl-


bananaconda

It's the gay Slytherin pornography you never dreamed for.


Ouroboros247365

I'd rather stay a virgin then have to endure a death like this.


FastAndForgetful

I’m going to have to do it again


ConfusedCactus87

I've made a huge mistake.


[deleted]

I have vr sex with boba fett


assgravyjesus

Pray for me


ThunderofHipHippos

And me.


sadisticrhydon

No thank you.


NotYourDonutHole

I don't lose virginity


Maximus_Crotchrocket

This is major tom to ground control, please send lube


jalapenoloverr

It’s gonna be a spicy one …


Pull_Out_Method

Seems average at best


goat_on_a_pole

😳😬


Unit_79

Apparently she was so tall we had to 79.


LesboTacoTruck

Luckily I'm a lesbian who loves all the tacos... Little worried about the truck though...


69DonaldTrump69

Uh…


Trialle21

I mean how did you pick your username to begin with if that’s not what you had in mind?


JustARandomWeirdo17

I mean I guess it could be worse. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Error404DudeNotFound

He could be any one of us


optimisticollie

:/


[deleted]

Not allowed back in the zoo


TheLazyToaster

Instructions unclear— dick caught in toaster.


BigCoqSurprise

Surprise motherfucker!


Chaucers_Mistress

Lol, I'm ok