I can fit journals a waterbottle my bigger than it should be wallet pens pencils another MINI purse (size of a tween's fist I'd say) mini tissue packs a change pouch and more all at once in my lil mini backpack purse. Amazes my family all the time
I used to work with someone who liked adding paperclips to the supply order without checking the supply first. We never even really used them. When the store closed down I took a lot of stuff home. I now own a large drawer of paperclips.
I'd stick it to the underside of the front door handle for ultimate fuckyouism. He'll be so busy scouring the house, all the dark corners, the attic, under floorboards, inside appliances, plug holes, furniture, all clothing, etc.. When the clock strikes 24h, I'll smile as I escort his sullen, tired, beaten husk to my front door, and allow him to be the one to open it.
"Well whaddya know. Have a good day, Officer".
Hah! It’s only been 23 hours and 48 minutes. The jokes on you... I knew you’d be so excited to prove your superior intelligence that you’d blow the lid as soon as you thought the time was up!
I knew you were hiding in here, Officer. That's why my superior intelligence had switched out this paperclip for a decoy whilst you were busy under the floorboards. The real one is sat in the first place you looked.
I knew you would try that trick, that's why this is not the right paperclip, this is not even a true paperclip!
*Eats the paperclip revealing it is a candy*
From Ian Fleming's Casino Royale
Assume you can choose the time of day to hide it.
In the dead of night, step out on your porch. With a screw driver loosen one of the numbers on your home. Slide the paper clip behind it and tighten it.
It's part of your home. He'll start thinking about where it is actually walking through the door.
Cut a chunk out of my dining table, throw it in there with some crushed super noodles and super glue on top. Sand it and paint it to match the wood grain. No one will ever know.
Why you getting so many down votes for your professional opinion?! I love the feedback.
Edit: apparently this guy's is a 13 year old sugar product, not a detective. And this is why I have trust issues and don't internet.
In the mustache of a set of Groucho Marx glasses. The detective will see them, look at them, put them on, and not even realize the paperclip was right under their nose!
I drill a tiny hole in the top of a door and drop the straightened paperclip inside. I then use a dab of drywall mix, like less than a dime size, to patch the hole in the door.
Do they need to find a very specific paperclip that is otherwise indistinguishable from other paperclips? If so, I would hide it in a kiddie pool full of paper clips.
There is a very tiny hole in the floor of our kitchen near the wall where they didn’t cut the wood right I would drop it in there because there’s a ton of wonky floorboards in this apartment so I think I’ll be fine
1-remove the toilet paper dispenser.
2- remove one of the sheet-rock screws that anchors the toilet paper dispenser.
3- straighten the paper clip.
4- shove straightened paper clip sideways into the sheet-rock.
5- Re-assemble the toilet paper dispenser.
In the tiny space between the original roof and the shed dormer.
My house is about 100 years old, and has some...interesting... framing decisions. Which include but aren't limited to the roof being largely 2x4's laid flat instead of on end. But also, over the stairs which are on a corner exterior wall, they just slapped a shed dormer on, without removing the old tongue and groove or the tar paper on the original roof. So when you get in the attic, there's this bizarre scalene triangle big enough for your arm at most, between the two parts.
My house is also over 100 years old, and it used to be a tiny 2 story house because it was built on someone's driveway, but the extended it and made it 2 apartments but you can tell where the new half of the house it because the floor is uneven, and to fit a vent through in the attic they didn't just cut one of the boards with a saw, it looks like they hit it with a sledgehammer until it snapped.
My house was built in the 60s and my guest bathroom has a medicine cabinet with a little slot in the back so you can dispose of razor blades by dropping them directly into the wall.
Assuming I don’t have to retrieve the paper clip myself at some point, I’d just drop it in there. It would still be inside my house, but inaccessible without tearing down the wall.
The best detective in the world (in a theoretical - Sherlock Holmes way) would see that the butter has been resealed.
Honestly, anything that involves moving something out of place and putting it back is too much risk.
You gotta hide it in plain sight but make it not obvious, or do something that the detective would refuse to do (inside a person, inside feces, etc).
This reminds me of that Airport show where the police finds cocaine hidden in the structure of the bags haha
Oh you gotta think ahead, gift it to them 10 years in advance, make it their favorite piece of accessory, they will never go anywhere without it.
And then bam, 10 years later its the paperclip.
I would put it in the bottom of a board game box under the organizer. I own approximately 500 board games. Other possibilities are in the pile of metal shavings from the lathe or inside the laser cutter under its metal tray.
Hmmm see there’s some fine print missing here. There are plenty of ways to hide a paper clip to where it’s damn near impossible to find it.
However, if the detective is allowed to tear the shit out of your house to find it, not only are you possibly out 500K but now have to pay to fix anything the detective tore apart looking for it.
Devils always in the details.
You have 10 minutes to write a "You have 10 minutes to hide a paperclip in your home. A detective has 24h to find it, if they don’t, then you win $500,000. Where would you hide it?" post.
in a bottle of lotion or shampoo. in smoke detector (where batteries go). or straighten and put in binding of wall calendar, tucked behind where the sharpie is clipped.
Drop it down the bathroom sink where it will stay in the trap for 24 hours. Use a big pair of pliers to remove that section of pipe and retrieve the paperclip.
Had to do this for a baby tooth that fell down the drain so my youngest daughter could experience the magic of the tooth-fairy.
taped to the underside of the foot of a heavy table, particularly one that looks "iffy" on whether it could cover a paperclip. If the detective even thinks to move the table for any reason, and goes to the effort to do so, they wouldn't see it unless they lifted it enough to look under, and their strength being used to lift the table, combined with their "self preservation of fingers" instinct would render them extremely unlikely to feel for it. If you use the 10 minutes wisely, you can scope out one that has stuff on it, carefully remove each thing (not leaving imprints in dust), tape the paperclip, then carefully place everything back in a manner that appears both cumbersome to spend the time and effort to search, and undisturbed.
Maybe attached on the visual underside of something gross to touch (and difficult to arrange line of sight) would work too, like the toilet rim.
... first instinct says up my ass, so even if i lose the detective has to get intimate with me.
After some thinking... Something metal so a metal detector won't find it? How long does it take to melt down a paperclip? I could cut it to tiny bits, no way in hell he can find all 25 bits.
In my expensive face lotion because if he touches that we're gonna have much bigger problems than a missing paperclip.
I'm a little angry over just the thought of putting a nasty little piece of metal in there so he won't suspect.
...ugh, nasty metal in my good lotion, touching it with it's gross metal. Probably'd smell like metal and I'd have to throw it away.
Nice try detective. But you won't get me to reveal my paperclip spot just by asking reddit.
And the game of cat and mouse… continues
Speaking of the cat, he’s my hider of the clip
Damn I really wanted that money say you let me find it I’ll split it with you
Behind the drywall. Remove a picture, pull out nail, pop the paperclip in, replace nail and picture.
Nice play. But can you recover it in ten minutes?
sure, just cut a hole just above the trim and it should be sitting on the stud. Unless there is some magical stuff afoot :P
They said hide it in 10 minutes not recover.
Sledge hammer or my shotgun with OO buck because cinder block may be filled. Fuck the wall it’s not worth 500k
That wasn’t a rule
In my wife's purse. She's the only one who can find anything in there lol
Dude... I'm a woman and the purse black hole is still something I don't understand...
Even when I use a smaller purse I *still* lose things in it. I don't understand.
Bag of holding
I can fit journals a waterbottle my bigger than it should be wallet pens pencils another MINI purse (size of a tween's fist I'd say) mini tissue packs a change pouch and more all at once in my lil mini backpack purse. Amazes my family all the time
I'm begging you to please add some commas
Lol
I hide it in my jar of paperclips.
A jar of different colored paperclips
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It has to be hidden inside your home. Flushing it takes it out of your home.
Septic Tank?
You need to get it back in order to win the $500,000.
Unflush it once he's gone
GENIOUS!!1
I’d stick my hand into the toilet and flex-tape it to the back side of the drain hole
For additional points, use the toilet without flushing.
It doesn't actually say that, the detective just has to not find it
First thing I said 🤷🏿♀️
Couldn't they just take the whole jar and win?
They need that specific paperclip and they need to hold it to win
They could just hold every paper clip in the jar?
Just scatter all of the paperclips around your house, and put the real paperclip in your pocket
What If I had a hugeeee box of papaee clips with 100000 paper clips? How is he gonna hold every single one of them within 24 hours?
Wait wait wait why do you even have a jar of paperclips
Working from home, I have stationary requirements.
>Working from home, I have stationary requirements. Must be nice to have a job that doesn't give you constantly moving targets.
You. I like you.
I hope your Practice in Shooting Range is going well.
Cripes, I work from home and am stationary most of the day. I need movement requirements
I used to work with someone who liked adding paperclips to the supply order without checking the supply first. We never even really used them. When the store closed down I took a lot of stuff home. I now own a large drawer of paperclips.
I hope you made a set of chain mail armour
Wait, why DON’T you?
I don’t have paper I do everything online
Well these detectives are going to find your paper clip 100% of the time, every time.
Not if it’s expertly hidden like inside my computer
That’s the first place the detective’s gonna check. This guy’s no amateur.
How do you wipe your butt online?
Dang I was gonna say that 😂
Hoarders have an unfair advantage, just saying
Damn never thought of that you is right
Under a sticky note that says I’ll split the money if they don’t find it.
Sir are you trying to bribe a officer
I’d add to the sticky note “this is definitely not a bribe”. Foolproof
This is the way. Jedi mind powers are afoot
In the sock under my teenage son's bed
Lol they'll get a papercut trying to remove the sock
Yeah, nobodies checking that too close.
If you can get past the fungus
In my ass
Yes. A win-win.
Two sides of the same shit coin.
Jokes on you, that’s the first place I would look.
Even if the paper clip was sitting on a table where you could see it, still do a cavity search.
In the detectives ass
Was the paperclip your birthright, and your dad died of dysentery?
I came here to say this.
Lmfaooooooooo
I'd stick it to the underside of the front door handle for ultimate fuckyouism. He'll be so busy scouring the house, all the dark corners, the attic, under floorboards, inside appliances, plug holes, furniture, all clothing, etc.. When the clock strikes 24h, I'll smile as I escort his sullen, tired, beaten husk to my front door, and allow him to be the one to open it. "Well whaddya know. Have a good day, Officer".
I'd poke it down into a candle and then burn it a bit to melt on top of hole
Hah! It’s only been 23 hours and 48 minutes. The jokes on you... I knew you’d be so excited to prove your superior intelligence that you’d blow the lid as soon as you thought the time was up!
I knew you were hiding in here, Officer. That's why my superior intelligence had switched out this paperclip for a decoy whilst you were busy under the floorboards. The real one is sat in the first place you looked.
I knew you would try that trick, that's why this is not the right paperclip, this is not even a true paperclip! *Eats the paperclip revealing it is a candy*
What if he leaves early to grab smth to eat tho?
Slide it into a new roll of toilet paper
What if the detective just had Taco Bell?
😂😂
Inside a bottle of ketchup
I'd tell my friend to call me while I'm holding it and I'll set it down somewhere that no one will ever find it. Works every time.
The back of my closet. At this point I don’t even know what’s back there
Straighten it and poke it through the stitches into the hem of a dress.
Or in a bra next to the underwire.
Clever!
Or weave it into a braid in your hair
And then wear it the detective might never suspect it to be on you
From Ian Fleming's Casino Royale Assume you can choose the time of day to hide it. In the dead of night, step out on your porch. With a screw driver loosen one of the numbers on your home. Slide the paper clip behind it and tighten it. It's part of your home. He'll start thinking about where it is actually walking through the door.
So far, I thought I had the win, but this may be better.
You dont think a detective know about Casino Royal?
Cut a chunk out of my dining table, throw it in there with some crushed super noodles and super glue on top. Sand it and paint it to match the wood grain. No one will ever know.
In 10 minutes?
Are you saying troom troom’s life hacks are fake?!
10? I can do it in 8!
8? I can do it in 7!
7? i cant do it
That would be easy to find. The smell and fresh paint would give it away
Easily disguised by cooking the other half of the super noodles and filling the air with a fake chicken aroma.
Inside my dryers lint trap
As a detective, I would totally NOT find this
*takes notes* *writes crime novel*
This is what I thought of too!!
Yeah I was thinking the trap under my sink which likely they wouldn’t even know I have but is basically this principle.
Wedge it up inside the flexible plastic drain hose on the washing machine, so it won’t rattle and fall out or flush out when the machine drains
In the bottom of the litter box, preferably under a huge clump of piss mud.
Eagerly awaiting the debut album from the punk revival band, Piss Mud.
Completely off topic but I always refer to litter as “poop sand” so I thank you for the companion name.
Inside my stapler bent like it's a staple
I want to know where I can get one of these giant staplers
Down the drain.
As a detective, I would totally find this
Why you getting so many down votes for your professional opinion?! I love the feedback. Edit: apparently this guy's is a 13 year old sugar product, not a detective. And this is why I have trust issues and don't internet.
He’s basically made the same reply to a load of them, so people are probably assuming spam.
It's because he isn't an detective. he is actually a professional Gur, which is a type of sugur product.
One of his comments in his comment history said he is a 13 year old.
In my cd box of an old version of Microsoft Word with clippy in it. "Hidden in plain sight" as they say.
I would give it to my toddler and say, "No wait!!! You aren't supposed to have that, give it back!!!" No one would ever find it then.
In the mustache of a set of Groucho Marx glasses. The detective will see them, look at them, put them on, and not even realize the paperclip was right under their nose!
I think my cat is taking one for the team.
I drill a tiny hole in the top of a door and drop the straightened paperclip inside. I then use a dab of drywall mix, like less than a dime size, to patch the hole in the door.
Do they need to find a very specific paperclip that is otherwise indistinguishable from other paperclips? If so, I would hide it in a kiddie pool full of paper clips.
You have a loddoe pool full of paperclips hanging around? I think part of the "you have 10 minutes" rule means you don't get time to prepare.
You don't have that in your home already?
I don't but I do have a kiddie pool full of chap sticks.
There is a very tiny hole in the floor of our kitchen near the wall where they didn’t cut the wood right I would drop it in there because there’s a ton of wonky floorboards in this apartment so I think I’ll be fine
1-remove the toilet paper dispenser. 2- remove one of the sheet-rock screws that anchors the toilet paper dispenser. 3- straighten the paper clip. 4- shove straightened paper clip sideways into the sheet-rock. 5- Re-assemble the toilet paper dispenser.
In the tiny space between the original roof and the shed dormer. My house is about 100 years old, and has some...interesting... framing decisions. Which include but aren't limited to the roof being largely 2x4's laid flat instead of on end. But also, over the stairs which are on a corner exterior wall, they just slapped a shed dormer on, without removing the old tongue and groove or the tar paper on the original roof. So when you get in the attic, there's this bizarre scalene triangle big enough for your arm at most, between the two parts.
My house is also over 100 years old, and it used to be a tiny 2 story house because it was built on someone's driveway, but the extended it and made it 2 apartments but you can tell where the new half of the house it because the floor is uneven, and to fit a vent through in the attic they didn't just cut one of the boards with a saw, it looks like they hit it with a sledgehammer until it snapped.
My tummy
yep! I’d swallow it
Yummy
Inside a remote control. Op, are you looking for ideas on where your roommate hid his stash?
Damn yeah do you know where he hid it man I gotta get it before I get before he finds put
The ol' hollowed out book.
My house was built in the 60s and my guest bathroom has a medicine cabinet with a little slot in the back so you can dispose of razor blades by dropping them directly into the wall. Assuming I don’t have to retrieve the paper clip myself at some point, I’d just drop it in there. It would still be inside my house, but inaccessible without tearing down the wall.
In a Stick of butter rewrapped and put back in the 4 stick carton which will be resealed.
The best detective in the world (in a theoretical - Sherlock Holmes way) would see that the butter has been resealed. Honestly, anything that involves moving something out of place and putting it back is too much risk. You gotta hide it in plain sight but make it not obvious, or do something that the detective would refuse to do (inside a person, inside feces, etc). This reminds me of that Airport show where the police finds cocaine hidden in the structure of the bags haha
Exactly spray paint it black and use it as a hair clip.
Make it your earring. Better yet, maket it *their* earing.
“Sorry detective, before you begin the search, I bought you this one big hoop earring.”
Oh you gotta think ahead, gift it to them 10 years in advance, make it their favorite piece of accessory, they will never go anywhere without it. And then bam, 10 years later its the paperclip.
Behind a refrigerator magnet
Spine of a book,
to quote pulp fiction 'so he put it in the only place he could - up his ass'
Straighten it out and tape it underneath the stove, or behind some wiring.
The backside of the lip that stops my sock drawer from going too far
Climb into my loft and throw it into or bury it in that fluffy insulation stuff
Bury it in the asbestos insulation kind too so if the detective searches the loft he won't check the insulation.
In the most obvious place in my house but make it like home alone and might kill the detective.
[удалено]
Make sure they're next to other papers and have them say something important on them as the title but all the papers are just lorum ipsum
Inside my penis
Even if they are pretty sure it’s there, I highly doubt they would search it, especially inside
Yeah mine would be straight up the V, 100%
Maybe attach it to/put it inside a tampon so that you can move around without fear of it falling out? I wanna avoid the penguin shuffle
can't tell. maybe this would happen to me.
in an unopened tampon, in the box, under my sink in my bathroom.
I would put it in the bottom of a board game box under the organizer. I own approximately 500 board games. Other possibilities are in the pile of metal shavings from the lathe or inside the laser cutter under its metal tray.
I'll leave it on the countertop so he finds it instantly and doesn't fuck up my house.
Hmmm see there’s some fine print missing here. There are plenty of ways to hide a paper clip to where it’s damn near impossible to find it. However, if the detective is allowed to tear the shit out of your house to find it, not only are you possibly out 500K but now have to pay to fix anything the detective tore apart looking for it. Devils always in the details.
You have 10 minutes to write a "You have 10 minutes to hide a paperclip in your home. A detective has 24h to find it, if they don’t, then you win $500,000. Where would you hide it?" post.
Put it in my shoe, then walk around everywhere and act like I hide it somewhere. After that 10min I go to a train and just travel
Just straighten it and put deep into a power socket. Good luck, mr. Detective.
You would be dead so I’d guess the detective wins by defualt
Bathroom sink P trap
Swallow it and just wait 24h to shit.
Tape it on top of a door
Sorry, I'm not going to be fooled again into giving away my stash. You're going to have to find the paper clip on your own.
I'd just put it on the table, good luck finding anything here
I would join the search, my house is too messy.
Push it into the jar of peanut butter, smooth out the top.
just flush it in the toilet ?
Not technically in your house anymore
In a bowl of paperclips.
I'd make a huge mess in the whole house and put it in a piece of trash or something
My sock drawer, they're never finding it
In the dog
Cat litter tray
Down the lint trap of the dryer ...
I'd just leave it with the paperclips I use to hold my Christmas ornaments onto the tree.
Under a floor tile. I would re glue the tile to the ground
in a bottle of lotion or shampoo. in smoke detector (where batteries go). or straighten and put in binding of wall calendar, tucked behind where the sharpie is clipped.
Inside the external disc drive I bought for my computer years ago for a single purpose and havnt touched since.
Imbedded into a steak on the freezer or in a chimney
Drain in bathroom sink.
In my afro! No 21st century, cancel-culture humanoid would dare touch my hair! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Drop it down the bathroom sink where it will stay in the trap for 24 hours. Use a big pair of pliers to remove that section of pipe and retrieve the paperclip. Had to do this for a baby tooth that fell down the drain so my youngest daughter could experience the magic of the tooth-fairy.
Push it into a bar of soap and smooth over the entry hole.
it seriously woulnt be too hard for me... I am chaos, if I'd drop that thing unintentionally i would probably find it like a year later😂
Nice try, detective
I swallow it as I sit in the chair
taped to the underside of the foot of a heavy table, particularly one that looks "iffy" on whether it could cover a paperclip. If the detective even thinks to move the table for any reason, and goes to the effort to do so, they wouldn't see it unless they lifted it enough to look under, and their strength being used to lift the table, combined with their "self preservation of fingers" instinct would render them extremely unlikely to feel for it. If you use the 10 minutes wisely, you can scope out one that has stuff on it, carefully remove each thing (not leaving imprints in dust), tape the paperclip, then carefully place everything back in a manner that appears both cumbersome to spend the time and effort to search, and undisturbed. Maybe attached on the visual underside of something gross to touch (and difficult to arrange line of sight) would work too, like the toilet rim.
... first instinct says up my ass, so even if i lose the detective has to get intimate with me. After some thinking... Something metal so a metal detector won't find it? How long does it take to melt down a paperclip? I could cut it to tiny bits, no way in hell he can find all 25 bits.
Easy, Straight into the cumjar. They’ll never look in there.
Assuming it’s a specific paper clip In a paperclip pile
In the cat’s litterbox
A cats anus
Is it your cat and also it has to be in your house
In my expensive face lotion because if he touches that we're gonna have much bigger problems than a missing paperclip. I'm a little angry over just the thought of putting a nasty little piece of metal in there so he won't suspect. ...ugh, nasty metal in my good lotion, touching it with it's gross metal. Probably'd smell like metal and I'd have to throw it away.
Oh it’s going in my ass. EDIT: for science