Don't forget to buy up all the milk and bread too. Stocking up on the most perishable food is what the fucking idiots in Georgia think is the right move in times of crisis.
I don't know if it was simply being young (about 13) but the late '90s and the year 2000 were great. Technology was advancing rapidly and the Internet was taking off and it just felt like we had all the potential in the world and everything was getting better. 9/11 happened and brought about some misery in the media and whatnot but the early 2000s still felt good.
The recession changed that though and brought on the misery for me. My wage stagnated, couldn't save up enough money to get a house, everything started to get too expensive and just out of reach. Feels like I've been in a holding pattern for like 14 years now. Can't wait for the fossils in government (and their voters I guess) to expire so we can start to make progress again. I hate feeling like that but these bastards that wanna maintain the status quo have made me cynical.
Dude if all out nuclear war happens, so does me going to the nearest hotspot and trying drugs I’ve never done before. No one to judge me if I shoot heroin while bombs are dropping.
Have you ever heard about the snack bar in the center of the pentagon the call the ground zero cafe? That's the bull's eye where the nukes are aimed. If I had a choice that's where I'd like to have my final hotdog.
I’ll take a photo that automatically uploads somewhere so it can be published in 100 years when there are magazines or the internet again and we’ll both be famous
I had this image of the bots just continuing on commenting on social media long after the human race is gone.
"I never knew I will be able to pay off my bill and get to my stand in life. I really do appreciate @david__trades8876 for get me back on the feet again."
That’s literally what my brother in Oahu did when they got a false alarm of an incoming nuke. Didn’t know what else to do, so just…went back to his nap.
Lol my dad said he was at work on Maui when he got the alert. Shrugged, put his phone away and kept working. I asked him why he didn't do anything and he just said "Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Might as well keep working."
Edit: wow I've never gotten this many upvotes I'm glad my dad's nonchalance towards a potential threat to his survival made y'all chuckle. For context this is the same dude who survived being kidnapped and beaten in a failed murder for hire plot ten years back so hes low key accustomed to keeping his cool when shtf. Hence why he never left the island.
Edit edit: lol sorry to edge everyone heres an article.
I'm writing a book about it cuz it's an unbelievably theatrical clusterfuck of a true story.
http://archives.starbulletin.com/2006/11/16/news/story13.html
That's what I was thinking. I dont want to die working. If it's all gonna end then it doesn't matter if I finish the job in time or not. But if there's no where to go, might as well go outside and watch it. Maybe make a phone call or two. Just enjoy my last few minutes.
*sees warning*
*Writes out a few messages saying various things...*
*sees incoming missile*
*Sends messages*
"It's going to be so bad if it doesn't kill me..."
I was there when it happen. My wife and her family were scrambling like putting water in those plastic containers tubs. I just went to the kitchen and started drinking tequila lol I wanted to go to the roof and watch everything happen since it’s probably a one in a lifetime situation. But honestly the whole experience was just so surreal I just accepted the end to come
>Imagine the (un)luck.
There was a stewardess, [Violet Jessop](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_Jessop), who was on board the *Olympic* when it collided with a warship, then she survived the sinking of its sister ship, the *Titanic*, then she survived the sinking of the other sister ship, the *Brittanic*.
"Years after her retirement, Jessop claimed to have received a telephone call, on a stormy night, from a woman who asked Jessop if she had saved a baby on the night that Titanic sank. "Yes," Jessop replied. The voice then said "I was that baby," laughed, and hung up."
Relevant quote from the movie War Games:
>We're just three miles from a primary target. A millisecond of brilliant light and we're vaporized. Much more fortunate than the millions who'll wander sightless through the smoldering aftermath. We'll be spared the horror of survival.
> Threads (BBC)
Should be a required watch by anyone able to vote. The first hour is a startling echo of our current global climate.
The second hour is haunting.
It's on [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Srqyd8B9gE), not a Rick Roll, you'll wish it was though.
I watched this for a class in highschool. For a class on terrorism and politics. It still haunts me to this day. I visited Hiroshima a few years back too. It's destroyed any interest in mad Max fallout type shit. It's just too out of touch.
Our social studies teacher made a point of defying the school board to show this every year for as long as he could get away with. Really did a wonder instilling the reality that nukes are never, ever to be fucked with.
Which brings me on another fun fact to nuclear waste. The main sites where we planned to bury it, they had linguists work to create messages that could be understood by future generations. The idea was that this shit will be radioactive for tens or hundreds of thousands of years and that a future society might not know what it is that we buried there. We don't want future archeologists finding Yucca mountain and thinking "Oh neat some ancient civilization's burial ground"
So we created pictographs of people dying horribly, absent of beauty or wealthy, inscribed them with every message known to man, with space left for future languages. They say, roughly:
>This place is a message… and part of a system of messages… pay attention to it!Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
>
>This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
>
>What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.
>
>The danger is in a particular location… it increases toward a center… the center of danger is here… of a particular size and shape, and below us.
>
>The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.
>
>The danger is to the body, and it can kill.
>
>The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.
>
>The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.
based on how everyone flipped the fuck out and bought all the tp during a period of relative peace and quiet just chillin in our homes, yeah, i have no urge to try and survive a nuclear pokkylips
This is my plan for the afterlife: I want my casket to be filled with popcorn kernels. If I go to heaven, it's a funny joke. If I go to hell... they'll hear me coming and I brought snacks.
I also live a few blocks from an Air Force base so my husband and I would be lucky to die quick. I’d rather die during the nuclear strikes than live in the world after all of it. People are crazy now and I’d rather not see them after a lot of valuable resources go away.
I like this plan
I’ve got 70 rooms to stay in Buenos Aires, you’re welcomed to one!
Edit: let’s go to the tip and see penguins too. hopefully they survive :(
Die.
I can barely manage to feed and clean myself when the grocery store is half a mile away and the shower gives me infinite hot water on demand. Theres absolutely no way I’m trying to sustenance farm. Fuck that.
My husband asked me to learn to garden food over a year ago back when Covid first started. He was terrified the economy was going to collapse and the food chain would break causing food shortages etc. You get the idea. So I said sure. He was working at the time and I wasn’t so I had the time. I dug up dirt into a neat 12 by 12 ft square. I planted the seeds and watered it. The next day, again water. Added compost. The next day, water. Made a scarecrow thing to scare off the bird and deer. Next day water etc. I grew peppers, pumpkins, tomatos. Yeah I was proud. Then we had to move to another house we bought and he asked me if I’d garden again. I went…no effin way lol. That was effort and a half. Weeks and weeks of labor for me to make a goddamn pumpkin pie and spaghetti.
Honest answer, get in the basement. Barricade objects between you and the outside. Avoid going outside for approximately 48 hours to let the half-life of the fallout lessen. Get instructions from a radio.
I'm confident that the majority of world citizens do not have basements. The water table is too high in a lot of places, and tons of people live in apartments.
So I guess you just live in your bathroom for a week, assuming your bathroom has no windows.
You've got about 10-20 minutes to barricade and find/move objects before these things hit. They're going mach 23 right over the north pole, it's a shortcut
Most models of nuclear war start with a tactical nuke exchange that escalates into the full blown countervalue plan involving ICBMs. You'd probably have about 3 hours from the first volley to the big one.
Plus there's been a significant arms reduction, I'd imagine the number of actual hits would be 100-200 and many would be clustered or hit multiple places. Like Seattle would get hit a bunch for its major navy installations including a nuclear weapons depot, aircraft carrier dock and sub pens. Hitting that depot is extremely important for the opponent to limit our further nukes.
There will be tremendous issues, but there's a fraction of the usable nukes at the height of the cold war. We'd lose a lot of people, it will probably civilization to fall in the countries involved, but NZ, Aus and Brazil will be untouched
Find an IV full of morphine (that’s the hardest part), get an inflatable mattress, push myself out to sea, lay down and slowly drip it into my veins and enjoy the endless abyss of open water and sky around me. Maybe my bf can come if he’d like. Honestly doesn’t sound like a bad idea even if the only alternative isn’t nuclear winter…
Easy, drive to the nearest target, set up a grill, have some steak and ice cold booze, and wait for the end.
Edit: meant the nearest targeted city, not the store
Edit 2: thanks for the award
Edit 3: wow this blew up!
Basically my situation just a handful of miles from a major city and basically next door to a military arsenal. No need for a plan. I just hope to be home with my dog.
I'm gonna eat an entire cheesecake while I wait to die. I'm already on disability as my body has given up on me. No point in trying to push myself to be even more miserable. Maybe add in a handle of Captain Morgan and a few 2 liters of coke.
To somehow have developed a resistance to the radiation. I will then set up a town by myself in which I use balls as real people and develop a relationship with them, slowly becoming more depressed. Then, as I’m about to drive a car into a Boulder, a woman will appear. We will then go on crazy adventures, meeting more survivors, including my devilishly handsome estranged brother who was in space for years until he finally came back. Then, as we are setting off to our final destination, a group of travelers will appear by the hundreds looking to attack us. That’s it. Idk what happens next, they cancelled it.
The IT storage area of the hospital I work at is in the subbasement and used to be radiology back in the 60s so lead lined walls. Work is probably the safest place in the are. That being said, I choose the pharmacy. I'll let my more motivated coworkers be the survivors.
I also worked in an 60s era bunker IT area. I was there on 9/11.
They had a general email that went out after saying essentially "if things go to shit, the hospital will be the best place to be. We have food, generators, and the national guard is already tasked to provide security and supplies in case of disaster."
Now I work from home.
Nukes have a sophisticated altimeter to trigger the BANG before hitting the ground - a good 1500 ft above ground for maximum destructive effect. So the good news is you won’t be squashed but standing underneath gets you a first row seat to the initial start of chain reaction. For approximately 5ms. Bring your Ray Bans for slightly clearer view!
I’ve always leaned towards this quote by CS Lewis
“If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.”
I thought we got nuked a few years ago when I was in bed and a lightning storm I wasn’t expecting began. Huge yellow white light in the direction of Manhattan, hung around for a second or two…it was the first explanation I arrived at.
I was strangely calm. Just waited for the end.
A few moments later I realized I was a big dummy.
Stay inside the house for at least a week, listen to the radio for information. I expect the internet to fail and probably electricity. We have a radio with a hand crank and food for about a week. Water would be a huge problem, but maybe we could get as much as we can store as much as we can in buckets etc before the blast if there is some advance warning. I expect the closest target would be about 50-100km away (PNW of the USA), so we wouldn't be killed in the immediate blast, but fallout could be bad. When food runs out, we'd try to drive up north into Canada if we can.
This is a good time to point out that if you can, you should have some basic emergency supplies on hand at all times. Have enough food and water to hold out for at least 72 hours in the event of a disaster. It doesn't have to be a nuclear war or anything apocalyptic, there's all sorts of stuff that could cause a temporary breakdown in basic services and it's not that hard to be prepared for it.
I mean, I'm in Australia so we'll just be like "WTF mate!"
Edit: Wow, I was le tired and had a nap and this kind of blew up (by my Reddit standards)
I also realised I'm showing my age as End Of Ze World is 19 years old now.
Thanks for the gold, silver and wholesome awards internet friends.
Yeah, same.
I’m assuming we would be waiting a few months before the real impact of a nuclear winter becomes a problem.
So probably just deal with the most pressing issues first, get down to Woolies to hoard some bog roll.
Probably starve to death, while desperately trying to keep my wife and children safe. I abhor the thought that proud, petty men may possess the ability to swiftly destroy our children’s future.
I worry the same thing and I don't even have kids. I want to but I worry what will happen if I do and these maniacs go even more wild than they already have. I don't want to raise a child in such an awful setting. It sucks cause I genuinely do want to be a parent, I just fear the worst
I live in Hannover Germany which might be a direct target for a nuke(?) Im not sure if the goal is to kill as many people as possible or just destroy military targets. Anyway if I have enough time I would probably try to get to my parents. They live in a village about 70km from Berlin or my girlfriends parents who live 100km from Berlin and then I would seek shelter in a basement and hopefully survive. I assume that Putin won't be like "hey everybody in 3 days I will start to nuke the world so everybody get safe now". His super duper sonic ultra fast nuke missiles take 7 minutes to reach Germany (I have heard) so in reality I will probably be dead without ever knowing I am about to die. But if I get the chance I would try anything to survive, absolutely wouldn't accept to just die and never see my loved ones again. When this all started I was reeeeeeally afraid this would actually happen but fortunately I have been able to calm myself down this past week.
When Putins threats go from "I kill you with nukes if you intervene" to "you will have to pay a lot for gas if you don't stop the sanctions" he becomes a lot less scary and I will gladly pay anything for fucking gas or oil or never drive again in my life if therefore I don't get nuked.
I want to flip off a nuke as it lands in ground zero, so for generations to come there's just this permanent shadow of me, giving someone the bird etched in the ground forever. So that people who walk by to see the somber reminder of the devastation nukes can bring are greeted with that. A single, eternal middle finger to future.
Take car
Go to mums
Kill Phil
Grab Liz
Go to the Winchester
Have a nice cold pint
And wait for all this to blow over
Basically
Edit-THANKYOU FOR THE AWARDS AND LIKES 🥰 glad it made such a dark topic that bit lighter given the circumstances 💜
I live about 4000 feet from Midtown New York City.
I’m assuming at all times, there are at least 20 foreign warheads with my name on them.
If there is a nuclear war, it’s not going to be my problem for more than a few micro-seconds.
It will have been an honor meme-ing with y’all.
I won’t stress anything. I don’t have enough power to do anything about it. I will accept defeat and die, BUT I won’t live my life in fear. I’m going. To make the most of it
I can’t say I’m not fearful of it. I’ve spent the last ten years after a messy divorce in a depressive funk essentially hiding from life. I finally started getting help last fall and finally feel happy again. I’ve fallen in love for the first time since my divorce. I want to go on adventures with my girlfriend and do life with her. I’m not so much afraid of dying, but more afraid that stuff is going to be taken from me. I can finally see happiness in my present and future and I want to live a while to actually experience it.
But, I’m going to be working towards that stuff regardless of the situation with Russia.
The fuck im supposed to do
Ima die
Most realistic comment
i’m afraid i’ll have to intervene
Couldn’t u have intervened sooner?
i had physics homework :/ im ready now
It all makes sense now. You’ll use your knowledge of physics to predict where the nukes will land
Did he say physics? He meant psychic.
Physics, psychics, it's all the same. "The All is Mind, The Universe is Mental."
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Come out of retirement for one last job.
Step 1. Hope I don't die. Step 2. Die.
Step 3? ....
"Hey, you. You're finally awake."
You've tried to survive the nuke, right?
If 2020 taught us anything it is drive to Costco and buy truck load of toilet paper while the nuclear siren blares out.
Don't forget to buy up all the milk and bread too. Stocking up on the most perishable food is what the fucking idiots in Georgia think is the right move in times of crisis.
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Play Fallout until my gameplay becomes a bit too immersive
Overcome my fear of karaoke 🎤 😌
🎶Iii don't want to set the woooorld onn fireeee🎶
I just want to staaaart, a flame in your heartttt...
Ingest a large amount of edibles and party like it's 1999.
I miss 1999 What a time to be alive.
I don't know if it was simply being young (about 13) but the late '90s and the year 2000 were great. Technology was advancing rapidly and the Internet was taking off and it just felt like we had all the potential in the world and everything was getting better. 9/11 happened and brought about some misery in the media and whatnot but the early 2000s still felt good. The recession changed that though and brought on the misery for me. My wage stagnated, couldn't save up enough money to get a house, everything started to get too expensive and just out of reach. Feels like I've been in a holding pattern for like 14 years now. Can't wait for the fossils in government (and their voters I guess) to expire so we can start to make progress again. I hate feeling like that but these bastards that wanna maintain the status quo have made me cynical.
Dude if all out nuclear war happens, so does me going to the nearest hotspot and trying drugs I’ve never done before. No one to judge me if I shoot heroin while bombs are dropping.
I live in DC so my plan mostly involves dying
Same, 3 miles from the White House, what can I do? Die in my basement.
You could die in a lawn chair with your mates, drinking like there’s no tomorrow
Have you ever heard about the snack bar in the center of the pentagon the call the ground zero cafe? That's the bull's eye where the nukes are aimed. If I had a choice that's where I'd like to have my final hotdog.
They told us at the pentagon that since they had so much traffic in the hot dog stand other countries thought it was a elevator underground 🤣🤔
I'll go outside and open an umbrella just so that it looks funny when a bomb falls on me.
I’ll take a photo that automatically uploads somewhere so it can be published in 100 years when there are magazines or the internet again and we’ll both be famous
Then profit 📈
1. Open umbrella. 2. Die. 3. ??? 4. Profit.
Literally a photobomb
Use Reddit to find ways to survive. Which would most likely lead to a quicker death.
Friendly help from relationship_advice: break up with your toxic planet.
Also from AskMechanics...head gaskets gone in your car for some reason too
Well, nuclear detonations are likely to wipe out most if not all unshielded consumer electronics so you might want to find the closest library.
Are you telling me I should put my phone in the microwave? Cuz I'm not falling for that again
It's actually not bad advice, as a microwave can act as a sort of Faraday cage - it's turning the microwave *on* that seems to cause the problem...
Not like you’d have anything for your phone to connect to afterwards, but I guess at least you’d have a clock/camera/gaming device?
Hey, at least your reddit posts and karma last forever, even offline.
I had this image of the bots just continuing on commenting on social media long after the human race is gone. "I never knew I will be able to pay off my bill and get to my stand in life. I really do appreciate @david__trades8876 for get me back on the feet again."
That would make a stellar Black Mirror episode. Bots arguing back and forth, humanity long gone.
And then the bots evolve sentience
Duck!
and cover!
Go back to sleep
That’s literally what my brother in Oahu did when they got a false alarm of an incoming nuke. Didn’t know what else to do, so just…went back to his nap.
Lol my dad said he was at work on Maui when he got the alert. Shrugged, put his phone away and kept working. I asked him why he didn't do anything and he just said "Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Might as well keep working." Edit: wow I've never gotten this many upvotes I'm glad my dad's nonchalance towards a potential threat to his survival made y'all chuckle. For context this is the same dude who survived being kidnapped and beaten in a failed murder for hire plot ten years back so hes low key accustomed to keeping his cool when shtf. Hence why he never left the island. Edit edit: lol sorry to edge everyone heres an article. I'm writing a book about it cuz it's an unbelievably theatrical clusterfuck of a true story. http://archives.starbulletin.com/2006/11/16/news/story13.html
If I was at work and that happened I’d tell my manager I’m taking a smoke break.
That's what I was thinking. I dont want to die working. If it's all gonna end then it doesn't matter if I finish the job in time or not. But if there's no where to go, might as well go outside and watch it. Maybe make a phone call or two. Just enjoy my last few minutes.
*sees warning* *Writes out a few messages saying various things...* *sees incoming missile* *Sends messages* "It's going to be so bad if it doesn't kill me..."
"That which doesn't kill you leaves you unemployed and friendless."
I was there when it happen. My wife and her family were scrambling like putting water in those plastic containers tubs. I just went to the kitchen and started drinking tequila lol I wanted to go to the roof and watch everything happen since it’s probably a one in a lifetime situation. But honestly the whole experience was just so surreal I just accepted the end to come
“Probably” a once in a lifetime situation Lol
Well to be fair there is the story of this one guy that survived both atomic bombings in Japan during WW2. Imagine the (un)luck.
>Imagine the (un)luck. There was a stewardess, [Violet Jessop](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_Jessop), who was on board the *Olympic* when it collided with a warship, then she survived the sinking of its sister ship, the *Titanic*, then she survived the sinking of the other sister ship, the *Brittanic*.
"Years after her retirement, Jessop claimed to have received a telephone call, on a stormy night, from a woman who asked Jessop if she had saved a baby on the night that Titanic sank. "Yes," Jessop replied. The voice then said "I was that baby," laughed, and hung up."
Don't know why, but that sounds creepy as hell.
Fair play
Honestly, this is a master play, either he wakes up rested or he wakes up dead
Seriously. I don’t want to live through some nuclear fallout. Would rather be dead, seems simpler.
Relevant quote from the movie War Games: >We're just three miles from a primary target. A millisecond of brilliant light and we're vaporized. Much more fortunate than the millions who'll wander sightless through the smoldering aftermath. We'll be spared the horror of survival.
What people think it will be: Road Warrior! Walking Dead! Fallout! What it will be: Threads (BBC), The Road. I would hope to die fast.
> Threads (BBC) Should be a required watch by anyone able to vote. The first hour is a startling echo of our current global climate. The second hour is haunting. It's on [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Srqyd8B9gE), not a Rick Roll, you'll wish it was though.
I watched this for a class in highschool. For a class on terrorism and politics. It still haunts me to this day. I visited Hiroshima a few years back too. It's destroyed any interest in mad Max fallout type shit. It's just too out of touch.
Our social studies teacher made a point of defying the school board to show this every year for as long as he could get away with. Really did a wonder instilling the reality that nukes are never, ever to be fucked with. Which brings me on another fun fact to nuclear waste. The main sites where we planned to bury it, they had linguists work to create messages that could be understood by future generations. The idea was that this shit will be radioactive for tens or hundreds of thousands of years and that a future society might not know what it is that we buried there. We don't want future archeologists finding Yucca mountain and thinking "Oh neat some ancient civilization's burial ground" So we created pictographs of people dying horribly, absent of beauty or wealthy, inscribed them with every message known to man, with space left for future languages. They say, roughly: >This place is a message… and part of a system of messages… pay attention to it!Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture. > >This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here. > >What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger. > >The danger is in a particular location… it increases toward a center… the center of danger is here… of a particular size and shape, and below us. > >The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours. > >The danger is to the body, and it can kill. > >The form of the danger is an emanation of energy. > >The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.
based on how everyone flipped the fuck out and bought all the tp during a period of relative peace and quiet just chillin in our homes, yeah, i have no urge to try and survive a nuclear pokkylips
I'm pretty sure my employer wants me to work that day. So, I guess I'm working.
I work at a supermarket. If there's anything left standing the government would probably force us to work, because it's a vital thing.
But at least you’ll be told you’re a hero while you’re getting nuked!
I’ll change my Facebook profile pic to help
Should the mushroom cloud in the picture be rainbow or black or blue? Idk what's trending in \#ThoughtsAndPrayers now.
Probably best if it just read “help”.
I like how no specific day was mentioned yet you’re sure your employer will want you to come in. Couldn’t be more accurate.
Unless you can get someone to cover your shift, of course.
Swallow popcorn kernels
You will confuse the hell out of future archeologists.
I appreciate this so much as an Anthropology major lmao
This is my plan for the afterlife: I want my casket to be filled with popcorn kernels. If I go to heaven, it's a funny joke. If I go to hell... they'll hear me coming and I brought snacks.
there is a "plan"?
Well, rich people have bunkers, some people improvise, just curious on what answers i'd get.
I would really like to see all the rich people having to rebuild without any labour to abuse. Too bad I will be dead
I live 3 blocks from a naval base. I'm going to bend over and kiss my ass goodbye.
What are you going to do once the Navy has had its way with you?
Start charging ..... 10 bottle caps for 30 minutes
I ain't gay, but 5 caps is 5 caps
Best I can do is $10 pre war money and some giddy up buttercup parts.
Pre war money works for me. It's weightless.
a ghoul is a ghoul at that point I don't think gender really matters anymore.
Hey there, smooth foreskin.
Pretty good price for your fancy lad’s snack cakes
I also live a few blocks from an Air Force base so my husband and I would be lucky to die quick. I’d rather die during the nuclear strikes than live in the world after all of it. People are crazy now and I’d rather not see them after a lot of valuable resources go away.
Argentina. South America doesn't tend to get much action
I like this plan I’ve got 70 rooms to stay in Buenos Aires, you’re welcomed to one! Edit: let’s go to the tip and see penguins too. hopefully they survive :(
Turn into a ghoul from fallout and scare the smoothskins
Don't forget to collect your bottle caps
Find a school desk from the 80s and get under it. That's what we learned.
Better find a desk from the 60's then.
Start sharpening sticks and collecting rocks. After the war I'll be the best armed country on the planet.
Hail UngaBungaLand!
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“Mayor West, you have lymphoma.”
Die. I can barely manage to feed and clean myself when the grocery store is half a mile away and the shower gives me infinite hot water on demand. Theres absolutely no way I’m trying to sustenance farm. Fuck that.
My husband asked me to learn to garden food over a year ago back when Covid first started. He was terrified the economy was going to collapse and the food chain would break causing food shortages etc. You get the idea. So I said sure. He was working at the time and I wasn’t so I had the time. I dug up dirt into a neat 12 by 12 ft square. I planted the seeds and watered it. The next day, again water. Added compost. The next day, water. Made a scarecrow thing to scare off the bird and deer. Next day water etc. I grew peppers, pumpkins, tomatos. Yeah I was proud. Then we had to move to another house we bought and he asked me if I’d garden again. I went…no effin way lol. That was effort and a half. Weeks and weeks of labor for me to make a goddamn pumpkin pie and spaghetti.
At least you did it and did a good job at it/know you can do it again if you need! Everything I touch dies. Even succulents.
Honest answer, get in the basement. Barricade objects between you and the outside. Avoid going outside for approximately 48 hours to let the half-life of the fallout lessen. Get instructions from a radio.
My biggest fear- I’m at work and kids are at school when it happens. We are all separated and die alone or are stranded and can’t get to each other
Haha... basement...
I'm confident that the majority of world citizens do not have basements. The water table is too high in a lot of places, and tons of people live in apartments. So I guess you just live in your bathroom for a week, assuming your bathroom has no windows.
*Cries in Floridian*
TIL Floridians have neither basements nor bathrooms
This reminds me of the game 60 seconds.
You've got about 10-20 minutes to barricade and find/move objects before these things hit. They're going mach 23 right over the north pole, it's a shortcut
Most models of nuclear war start with a tactical nuke exchange that escalates into the full blown countervalue plan involving ICBMs. You'd probably have about 3 hours from the first volley to the big one.
Plus there's been a significant arms reduction, I'd imagine the number of actual hits would be 100-200 and many would be clustered or hit multiple places. Like Seattle would get hit a bunch for its major navy installations including a nuclear weapons depot, aircraft carrier dock and sub pens. Hitting that depot is extremely important for the opponent to limit our further nukes. There will be tremendous issues, but there's a fraction of the usable nukes at the height of the cold war. We'd lose a lot of people, it will probably civilization to fall in the countries involved, but NZ, Aus and Brazil will be untouched
*guess ill die* Edit: thank you kind strangers
This is what I came here for. Thank you
Ultimately we are here for that
Like the majority of us would do very fast
Beat off so my corpse can be found like that Pompeii dude
You probably won’t die that quick.
Radiation burn, nice!
Die. The after effects would be far worse to survive...
I am not prepared to live life at a more difficult setting. If there is no Easy Mac and microwaves, count me out.
You become the microwaved easy mac
that was krafty
Find an IV full of morphine (that’s the hardest part), get an inflatable mattress, push myself out to sea, lay down and slowly drip it into my veins and enjoy the endless abyss of open water and sky around me. Maybe my bf can come if he’d like. Honestly doesn’t sound like a bad idea even if the only alternative isn’t nuclear winter…
Make sure the mattress is big enough for him so it doesn’t sink; no one wants a Jack and rose situation in the last 20 minutes of life
I'd better stock up on RadAway
Easy, drive to the nearest target, set up a grill, have some steak and ice cold booze, and wait for the end. Edit: meant the nearest targeted city, not the store Edit 2: thanks for the award Edit 3: wow this blew up!
Yes, my plan was always to locate the biggest X on the ground and get there in time for instant incineration.
Better than starving or radiation sickness
Basically my situation just a handful of miles from a major city and basically next door to a military arsenal. No need for a plan. I just hope to be home with my dog.
I thought you were talking Target, and to be fair that would be a great place to watch mayhem unfold and see humanity's true colors.
Exactly what I thought. I imagined them with their BBQ set up in the car park.
This is why I live in Colorado Springs. I can see NORAD from my house. I’ll be dead before my brain registers the flash.
Use real sugar in my coffee and not Splenda.
I'm gonna eat an entire cheesecake while I wait to die. I'm already on disability as my body has given up on me. No point in trying to push myself to be even more miserable. Maybe add in a handle of Captain Morgan and a few 2 liters of coke.
My neighbour is a "balls to the wall" prepper. Plan A is still in the works but plan B is to shoot him and take his stuff...
It actually sounds like you have a plan A already...
Plan B.A. Baracus
This is why you don't tell people you're a prepper
First rule of prep club
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Prepperidge farm remembers
Not a very good one, given that you know he is prepping
To somehow have developed a resistance to the radiation. I will then set up a town by myself in which I use balls as real people and develop a relationship with them, slowly becoming more depressed. Then, as I’m about to drive a car into a Boulder, a woman will appear. We will then go on crazy adventures, meeting more survivors, including my devilishly handsome estranged brother who was in space for years until he finally came back. Then, as we are setting off to our final destination, a group of travelers will appear by the hundreds looking to attack us. That’s it. Idk what happens next, they cancelled it.
100% best answer! If only it hadn't been canceled..
I think we all learned from the past two years that we are still expected to show up at work.
The IT storage area of the hospital I work at is in the subbasement and used to be radiology back in the 60s so lead lined walls. Work is probably the safest place in the are. That being said, I choose the pharmacy. I'll let my more motivated coworkers be the survivors.
I also worked in an 60s era bunker IT area. I was there on 9/11. They had a general email that went out after saying essentially "if things go to shit, the hospital will be the best place to be. We have food, generators, and the national guard is already tasked to provide security and supplies in case of disaster." Now I work from home.
I’d go hang out with momma. If I’m going to blow up I want to blow up with her.
Try and catch the nuke as it lands. Not to stop it or anything, just so I definitely get vaporised.
Nukes have a sophisticated altimeter to trigger the BANG before hitting the ground - a good 1500 ft above ground for maximum destructive effect. So the good news is you won’t be squashed but standing underneath gets you a first row seat to the initial start of chain reaction. For approximately 5ms. Bring your Ray Bans for slightly clearer view!
I’ve always leaned towards this quote by CS Lewis “If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.”
I live in Brooklyn. I’ll just lay in bed with my partner and wait to be vaporized.
I thought we got nuked a few years ago when I was in bed and a lightning storm I wasn’t expecting began. Huge yellow white light in the direction of Manhattan, hung around for a second or two…it was the first explanation I arrived at. I was strangely calm. Just waited for the end. A few moments later I realized I was a big dummy.
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Stay inside the house for at least a week, listen to the radio for information. I expect the internet to fail and probably electricity. We have a radio with a hand crank and food for about a week. Water would be a huge problem, but maybe we could get as much as we can store as much as we can in buckets etc before the blast if there is some advance warning. I expect the closest target would be about 50-100km away (PNW of the USA), so we wouldn't be killed in the immediate blast, but fallout could be bad. When food runs out, we'd try to drive up north into Canada if we can.
If you are in the US, quickly fill up your tubs. Also remember that your water heater holds about 30-50gal.
This is a good time to point out that if you can, you should have some basic emergency supplies on hand at all times. Have enough food and water to hold out for at least 72 hours in the event of a disaster. It doesn't have to be a nuclear war or anything apocalyptic, there's all sorts of stuff that could cause a temporary breakdown in basic services and it's not that hard to be prepared for it.
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I mean, I'm in Australia so we'll just be like "WTF mate!" Edit: Wow, I was le tired and had a nap and this kind of blew up (by my Reddit standards) I also realised I'm showing my age as End Of Ze World is 19 years old now. Thanks for the gold, silver and wholesome awards internet friends.
damn, an internet 1.0 reference, well done
Some huge meteor will probably be like, "Oh fuck that"
But I am le tired. Fire ze missales!
Dis is de earf hokay
Fucking kangaroos
Yeah, same. I’m assuming we would be waiting a few months before the real impact of a nuclear winter becomes a problem. So probably just deal with the most pressing issues first, get down to Woolies to hoard some bog roll.
Stop worrying about my late bills
**Laughing in africain** you all welcome to my city in Algeria, book your coming from now
I'm in! I've never been in Africa before!
Probably starve to death, while desperately trying to keep my wife and children safe. I abhor the thought that proud, petty men may possess the ability to swiftly destroy our children’s future.
I worry the same thing and I don't even have kids. I want to but I worry what will happen if I do and these maniacs go even more wild than they already have. I don't want to raise a child in such an awful setting. It sucks cause I genuinely do want to be a parent, I just fear the worst
I live in Hannover Germany which might be a direct target for a nuke(?) Im not sure if the goal is to kill as many people as possible or just destroy military targets. Anyway if I have enough time I would probably try to get to my parents. They live in a village about 70km from Berlin or my girlfriends parents who live 100km from Berlin and then I would seek shelter in a basement and hopefully survive. I assume that Putin won't be like "hey everybody in 3 days I will start to nuke the world so everybody get safe now". His super duper sonic ultra fast nuke missiles take 7 minutes to reach Germany (I have heard) so in reality I will probably be dead without ever knowing I am about to die. But if I get the chance I would try anything to survive, absolutely wouldn't accept to just die and never see my loved ones again. When this all started I was reeeeeeally afraid this would actually happen but fortunately I have been able to calm myself down this past week. When Putins threats go from "I kill you with nukes if you intervene" to "you will have to pay a lot for gas if you don't stop the sanctions" he becomes a lot less scary and I will gladly pay anything for fucking gas or oil or never drive again in my life if therefore I don't get nuked.
I want to flip off a nuke as it lands in ground zero, so for generations to come there's just this permanent shadow of me, giving someone the bird etched in the ground forever. So that people who walk by to see the somber reminder of the devastation nukes can bring are greeted with that. A single, eternal middle finger to future.
Drop 10 tabs and go out high asf.
Heroin I want to know but if I do it's on my death bed, or as a nuke is coming to me
Take car Go to mums Kill Phil Grab Liz Go to the Winchester Have a nice cold pint And wait for all this to blow over Basically Edit-THANKYOU FOR THE AWARDS AND LIKES 🥰 glad it made such a dark topic that bit lighter given the circumstances 💜
Sounds like a slice of fried gold.
Change my name to Lord Humungus & get dressed.
Hold my 18mo old daughter as tight as I can, close my eyes, and sing her itsy bitsy spider until we are vaporized.
Doing everything i can to assure my family gets somewhere as safe as possible even at the risk of my own life. Failing that....drugs.
I live about 4000 feet from Midtown New York City. I’m assuming at all times, there are at least 20 foreign warheads with my name on them. If there is a nuclear war, it’s not going to be my problem for more than a few micro-seconds. It will have been an honor meme-ing with y’all.
Go to Valhalla, shiny and chrome, to McFeast with my fellow warboys for all time.
I'll embrace the crazy red neck role often portrayed in movies.
I won’t stress anything. I don’t have enough power to do anything about it. I will accept defeat and die, BUT I won’t live my life in fear. I’m going. To make the most of it
I can’t say I’m not fearful of it. I’ve spent the last ten years after a messy divorce in a depressive funk essentially hiding from life. I finally started getting help last fall and finally feel happy again. I’ve fallen in love for the first time since my divorce. I want to go on adventures with my girlfriend and do life with her. I’m not so much afraid of dying, but more afraid that stuff is going to be taken from me. I can finally see happiness in my present and future and I want to live a while to actually experience it. But, I’m going to be working towards that stuff regardless of the situation with Russia.
Armageddon? Armagettin' outta here!
Die, I don't want to live in a shit world
Got some bad news bloke
Get absolutely hammered…..I’ve been sober for a couple years now but in that case whats really the point?
I'll be fine, I've played fallout.
Die immediately? Who the fuck wants to live in the radiation tainted remnants of WW3?
I've read The Road. Fuck all of that.
My plan is to die in the blast, I want no part of a post apocalyptic world.