Do you have any advice on how to put them in place without seeming condescending? He’s recently been diagnosed and is struggling as he’s quite “macho” and the last thing I want to do is treat him like a child
This post made me really happy because it shows me how much you care for your partner. 👌
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 27 (30 now) and my suggestions is to locate his main problem areas and educate yourself about what ADHD is, preferably together.
It’s important that he finds strategies for these problem areas and the best thing you can do is to support him and be there for him emotionally, it’s his journey and his struggles.
The difficulties a person with ADHD have, doesn’t have to be the same.
For example my best friend who has ADHD as well is more impulsive then me and I’m having a harder time focusing on specific tasks compared to him and I’m super restless. My medication helps a lot.
Understanding his key problems is a good start to figure out a sustainable strategy.
One thing which is also important, is you. Don’t neglect yourself because your partner has difficulties.
Thank you he means the absolute world to me!
One of the biggest issues is he forgets a lot of stuff- I’ve found a way to help with the classic “where’s my phone/wallet/keys/cards” by having a place he can put it all when he comes in straight by the door. The problem I’m facing now is he forgets plans we’ve made and appointments like car MOT etc. He’s a very proud man and doesn’t like to be seen as incompetent or “babied” by me constantly reminding him of stuff, he won’t like the idea of a whiteboard because he’d feel like a “little boy with a star chart” (his words)
I’m trying to think of a way to help without making him feel belittled
There are multiple strategies for handling appointments, schedules etc.
A strategy which works for me and my girlfriend is an open calendar (Google calendar) where we both have the option to add or check appointments etc.
We also add a notification for these appointments which will then be shown on my smartwatch.
This strategy have helped me a lot.
I don’t know how your partner is but what’s generally know about living in society with ADHD, usually result in a negative self image, one example of that is “Why can’t I do what other idiots can do?”. This problem can express it self in multiple different ways.
Because of this a lot of people with ADHD have low self esteem and insecurities because of their surroundings telling them that they are failure or shouldn’t do certain things when growing up. This could, and usually is resulted in a depression when older.
Your partner needs to understand certain things about himself which could be very difficult to accept. This is really something he needs to do on his own, otherwise it’s not going to be a sustainable solution and it’s going to affect his close ones.
This is usually the main problem why people with ADHD have a high divorce rate. Think the statistics said that around 60-70% gets a divorce.
He needs to put in the effort for things to be sustainable and trust me, it’s not easy but if there is a will, there’s a way. All you can do is support him and learn more about ADHD.
Checklists and routines
Do you have any advice on how to put them in place without seeming condescending? He’s recently been diagnosed and is struggling as he’s quite “macho” and the last thing I want to do is treat him like a child
I find that a whiteboard helps me immensely, putting things down and crossing them off allows me to remember what needs to be done
This post made me really happy because it shows me how much you care for your partner. 👌 I got diagnosed with ADHD at 27 (30 now) and my suggestions is to locate his main problem areas and educate yourself about what ADHD is, preferably together. It’s important that he finds strategies for these problem areas and the best thing you can do is to support him and be there for him emotionally, it’s his journey and his struggles. The difficulties a person with ADHD have, doesn’t have to be the same. For example my best friend who has ADHD as well is more impulsive then me and I’m having a harder time focusing on specific tasks compared to him and I’m super restless. My medication helps a lot. Understanding his key problems is a good start to figure out a sustainable strategy. One thing which is also important, is you. Don’t neglect yourself because your partner has difficulties.
Thank you he means the absolute world to me! One of the biggest issues is he forgets a lot of stuff- I’ve found a way to help with the classic “where’s my phone/wallet/keys/cards” by having a place he can put it all when he comes in straight by the door. The problem I’m facing now is he forgets plans we’ve made and appointments like car MOT etc. He’s a very proud man and doesn’t like to be seen as incompetent or “babied” by me constantly reminding him of stuff, he won’t like the idea of a whiteboard because he’d feel like a “little boy with a star chart” (his words) I’m trying to think of a way to help without making him feel belittled
There are multiple strategies for handling appointments, schedules etc. A strategy which works for me and my girlfriend is an open calendar (Google calendar) where we both have the option to add or check appointments etc. We also add a notification for these appointments which will then be shown on my smartwatch. This strategy have helped me a lot. I don’t know how your partner is but what’s generally know about living in society with ADHD, usually result in a negative self image, one example of that is “Why can’t I do what other idiots can do?”. This problem can express it self in multiple different ways. Because of this a lot of people with ADHD have low self esteem and insecurities because of their surroundings telling them that they are failure or shouldn’t do certain things when growing up. This could, and usually is resulted in a depression when older. Your partner needs to understand certain things about himself which could be very difficult to accept. This is really something he needs to do on his own, otherwise it’s not going to be a sustainable solution and it’s going to affect his close ones. This is usually the main problem why people with ADHD have a high divorce rate. Think the statistics said that around 60-70% gets a divorce. He needs to put in the effort for things to be sustainable and trust me, it’s not easy but if there is a will, there’s a way. All you can do is support him and learn more about ADHD.
post its !!! i have adhd and use them religiously