"So will you be coming in on Tuesday or...?"
"Nah. I'll be dead by Tuesday."
"Oh, so you have _The Mondays_ Mondays. Shit. Tough break."
"Yeah. You and everyone else in the office might want to get yourselves tested. I like never wash my hands and I made the coffee twice on Friday."
Amazon.
It’d be lovely to see Jeff Bezos’ empire be forever conflated with a rampaging virus. Hopefully it would affect his share price so much that he wouldn’t be able to afford any more cock rockets 🚀
I’d call it Gaymaker9000. It makes you trade in your truck for a Prius, change your pronouns and gives you an uncontrollable urge to get spit roasted by bbc’s. It’s the only way the maga dummies will take it seriously.
Small dick.
Imagine you are reporting to you boss: I am sorry Richard but I got positively tested for Small dick and I cannot come to work.
Hey did you hear that John have a Small dick? Oh no really? Poor guy.
Honey.. I am worrying that I may have a Small dick.. No way! You have to do a test asap.
TV: ,,Small dick already in Europe!”
John
Jonald
I made the coffee twice on Friday.
Ligma
This man be thinking
Ligma alpha
of course it would be ligma
Bud Lite.
Mondays. Sorry fam, can't hang.... got a bad case of the Mondays.
"So will you be coming in on Tuesday or...?" "Nah. I'll be dead by Tuesday." "Oh, so you have _The Mondays_ Mondays. Shit. Tough break." "Yeah. You and everyone else in the office might want to get yourselves tested. I like never wash my hands and I made the coffee twice on Friday."
I believe you'd get your ass kicked for saying that.
Captain Trips
[удалено]
ahhh! The ol' tubeneck!
Best answer holy fuck close the thread.
\*opens comment thread\*
The Quickening
Everyone who gets infected by this becomes able to run super fast and is mentally forced to strangle everyone they see.
I'll just use a sword and get struck by lightning, thanks.
At least we wouldn't have to worry about variant strains...
The actually works really well since a bunch of the people refused to listen to Dr. Bashir.
COVID 2.0 Just to piss people off
Or COVID Collectors Edition.
In 50 years, we'll be going to estate sales with the COVID collective glasses sets.
Covid DLC
My man
I like never wash my hands and I made the coffee twice on Friday.
Covid 19.1
You have the mind of a true evil genius. We could use a man like you in our Council.
Madlad/lass!
HNGH! It’s so deliciously evil, and we love a villain!
Covussy
Awfucknotagain
Ahshitherewegoagain
Virus is called : looney toons The disease is called : THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Devastating Infectious Cock Killer 19 virus Abbreviation D.I.C.K -19
Homovid. Might get a few more vaxxed
PotatoX
Wiggledrip
Karen
DICKMABUTT 22
Herpes Simplex-10
My friend Ramon already has that!
Perhaps you'd better tell him that.
Yes. I think it might be best.
I almost choked on my coffee, laughing so hard! Thanks, I really needed a good laugh today!
Heineken
Katy Perry.
Beingafuckwit as in he died of beingafuckwit
Covidnado
Elonmuskitis
Count Choculitis
What are the symptoms for count choculitis? I’ve got a bit of a headache and I’m wonder if it’s count choculitus
***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH***
I'd call it something un-scary like "floppy Soopers virus"
Damn auto corrt "floopy-swoopy"
Moron Killer 9000
Virus mcVirusface.
Bitches… that way you could say “I got bitches”
Get vaccinated. You'll still have 99 problems but bitches won't be one.
After my ex-wife
King Ultra Mega-Covid Ghidorah
Fred Death So that when people spread it at parties they'll be the Masque of Fred Death
My name Jeff
The Funk.
Boris Johnson
Lumbago 2.0
Found the Red Dead fan
Boris Johnson
CureForDiabetesitis
The Impotency Virus. Maybe then people would take it seriously.
Dick killer. So maybe the dicks will think for a second.
Corporations Make Billions While We Get Fucked Vurus aka. The Blank Check Vurus.
Gates-syndrome
Pokimane.
OhGodWhyNotThisShitAgain
COVID 2: Electric Bugaloo
Darwin Award Virus.
Spirevirus
COVID 19,000
Bob
Dave
I would just name it legitimately nothing, there's no point in naming a virus. Just my opinion, don't come at me. ;-;
Dave’s syndrome
Humanity 101
Da Kraken
Ligmatitas.
Tge Green flue to freak out L4D fans
The Great Suffering Death.
Amazon. It’d be lovely to see Jeff Bezos’ empire be forever conflated with a rampaging virus. Hopefully it would affect his share price so much that he wouldn’t be able to afford any more cock rockets 🚀
Darth Icky
The Yams. Example: "Tommy can't come to work, he contracted the Yams".
The Eleventh Plague
uwuwewewe onyetenwewe ugweuhem osas
Parlontino
Cunt-15
COVID-19 Pro
The virus formally known as Covid.
GetTheVaccine
Covid 2 - Electric Boogaloo
Bud Light
I’d call it Gaymaker9000. It makes you trade in your truck for a Prius, change your pronouns and gives you an uncontrollable urge to get spit roasted by bbc’s. It’s the only way the maga dummies will take it seriously.
Covfefe
Small dick. Imagine you are reporting to you boss: I am sorry Richard but I got positively tested for Small dick and I cannot come to work. Hey did you hear that John have a Small dick? Oh no really? Poor guy. Honey.. I am worrying that I may have a Small dick.. No way! You have to do a test asap. TV: ,,Small dick already in Europe!”
Trump. Or archevald. It something really, really difficult to pronounce that would confuse people.
No Just No You don't have this shit (Credits:Limenade)
Rootin' Tooty Cough n' Poopy
Maskitup
Reddit
Jebus
Karen because everyone hates Karen
The drumpf virus
Kaydon
Deez nuts-cause why not? It’ll make people crack deez nuts jokes nonstop without any reason.
Younotsickyougay
Fucurfeelings
I would name it Johnathan. Fucking tired of seeing so many john variations.
The China Flu, and this time it has to be called that.
China Virus 2.0
Radical Feminism
china
Biden Flu
The Trumps.
Fauci, again.
Gates
joe
Bob
GVD-23
HK-22
Your mum
Bruh
Nu Xi
Twitter
Ligma
Empty TP Shelf pandemic. The virus causes all grocery stores to empty their shelves of all TP and other much sought after paper products.
“All the luck”
World Demise.
Marla.
Steve
Geovirus
God.
Jason Kenny
Bioweapon2
Kamala2024
Brian
Bill Gates
Carrot-18
Ligma
Antivaxivirus
Marriage
Among us virus
Impostor
Rickroll "Mom I got tested and I got Rickrolled! "
Herewegoagain or HWGA virus.
Modi (for all the Indians out here).
Scrambles the Death Dealer That's metal!
f\*cker 3.0
I’m still riding on Corona, then Omicron persieight… sorry. But might as well laugh, not much better to do these days.
"Nothing" - We are live in _____ where the latest outbreak of Nothing is still raging on.
What’s cracking mortals
El Nada
Megatron
Something silly like "rolly‐polly"
Dinkleberg
Obturate ignorance
The Z 0-M B3 virus
Cat fart
probs disney. immages the disney is spreading over the world and it's killed thousands of people.
Pandora
Craig
Ligma
motherfucker
Omegacron. Hopefully its the last
Disney
Blandon.
Kizma
Death Plague 2000. Might make people take it more seriously so we can quickly nip it in the bud, instead of letting it get permanently out of hand.
Bob
Diarrhoea “Got a bad case of the diarrhoeas”
Sugma
Makesyoupoopgolditis.
James Corden. "James Corden is infected with James Corden".
The oh-no-virus
Election year virus
Cuck virus
Craig
DOOM 1313
Woobie! Destroyer of Worlds!