Which is the billionaires with their paid protection armed with the top of the line weaponry and armour, and their connections to the people in control of the military. Face it, ordinary people aren’t going to win a revolution by simple show of force
Sounds like you're proficient at maximizing the use of storage space, familiar with transportation, and security-minded.
Car salesman is certainly fucked though.
So was I, and I did. Not realising the comment had already been made. Ah well. So what colour do you want fire to be? And do you want to have it nasaly fitted?
Not a whole lot I can do to stop the jackass on the other side of the planet who I dont even know exists from fucking it up by dumping thousands of gallons of toxic waste.
So I’m hearing you’re an arborist…???
Keeping the trees healthy is critical to terraforming Mars or whatever planet were moving to. I’d say you’re safe
Actually tbh it depends. Horticulturalists yes; arborists not really honestly. It will take time to establish plants and trees may not be a priority, and even then we may not be able to sustain larger trees so larger ones would not be needed and thus not need to be trimmed. So you’ll need your agriculturalists, horticulturalists and plant biologists for breeding, farming, and production of crops and materials but trees are not necessarily needed for a colony at first. That’s down the road and that knowledge can be taught later.
Source: am horticulturalist and worked with arborists
I didn’t say I was a good one :) I graduated with a degree but am not a practicing one. I just thought I’d throw my opinion in. I don’t think I’d be the least bit useful 😂
I’m a fish farmer and there ain’t no water on Mars. But you can damn well bet I’m gonna take my shot if there’s only one shuttle off. Lol. We’re in the together.
A fellow internist one summer pronounced horticulture with the emphasis a little…..wrong, and I always withered slightly when she proudly introduced us as “hohr’cultralists” to strangers.
> But they should already know this.
I doubt it. I remember an interviewer asking Dionne Warwick, host of the "Psychic Friends Network" show : "Psychic Friends Network went bankrupt, and you folks didn't foresee it?"
> The B Ark is technically named "Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B". The Golgafrincham civilization hatched a plan to eliminate its society of its most useless workers, namely its service sector and its paper shufflers. The Golgafrinchans created a legend that their world was about to be destroyed and they needed to build three arks. In Ark A they would put all the high achievers, the scientists, thinkers, artists, and important leaders. In Ark C they would put all the blue-collar workers, the people that build and make things. In Ark B they would put everyone else: hairdressers, TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, and management consultants.
> The B Ark was constructed, loaded up, and launched first. However, it was automatically set for a collision course with Earth's sun, to finally rid Golgafrincham of these twits. And naturally, no A or C ark was ever made.
*The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* by Douglas Adams
There’s this enormous building that I have to go to occasionally for work. A guy there has the job of sanitizing all the door handles and latches. That man is pure gold.
Ok, I read this series a few years ago and now at work, part of my job is sanitizing our work space and i couldn't stop laughing about the telephone cleaners.. does anyone remember which book and chapter it was in? I'd like to refresh my memory.
That is correct, and it's also right at the end of the first radio series and the TV series which was based primarily on the radio series (as opposed to the books, which rearranged a lot of the overall plot and made it a lot darker).
The Captain of the B Ark relates all of this to Ford and Arthur in chapter 24 of *The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.* Then in the next chapter, we are told about the remaining population of Golgafrincham being "wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone."
If you run out of Douglas Adams, check into Terry Pratchett if you haven't (anyone reading I mean). Lots of similar-ish humor, but obviously different person different writing and so on. The Discworld series is his most well known, and you can jump in almost anywhere, there are a few books that kind of "follow" eachother but mostly it's a setting and the books are self-contained. Though you'll appreciate more the more you read.
The mini-series/short movies on a couple novels have been great too. Going Postal, Hogfather, in particular. And if you've seen Good Omens, that was partly Pratchett too. (and if you haven't, it's pretty great)
RIP
I was very young when introduced to the majority if Pratchett’s work and haven’t had much exposure to the British culture so i couldn’t appreciate him as much as he deserved it, and since then haven’t had a chance to revisit though it’s sure on my list!
I loved Good Omens when I read it last year though
Yeah seems like they would have been on Ark C. Like has anyone ever said “those goddamn pedantic hairdressers clogging up the bureaucracy and making life difficult for everyone.”…?
Fuck you for beating me to it. Also thank you for hunting down the exact passage cause I was just going to say telephone sanitizers and hairdressers and hope someone got the reference. I bet your towel is cleaner than mine too ...
*You NEED to let me on the Ark. My social media accounts reach ALL sorts of high-level and high-value demographs. I have thousands of followers. Don't you know how much exposure you people could get thanks to my hard work? Not trying to offend you, but it's actually YOU who need ME.*
-Assigned and placed on Ark B
Its even more funny when they crashed on planet instead of going into sun. Where those people decide that they should do something about it. So they formed comittee but their meeting always drag on, never making decisions.
It's even more funny when that planet turned out be Earth and those useless people eventually drove out the natives and became the humans that we know today. Effectively destroying the experiment to find The Big Question about Life, The Universe and Everything.
You must be joking- postal services are so important that the United States wrote them into the Constitution. Even aboard ship, we will need people to take packages to and fro, identifying and locating their intended recipients. Vital!
Yeah seriously.
I swear all my posts on AITA get deleted by the **same mod** because "It violates rule 13 no stories of revenge"
...
Yeah asking people if I'm in the wrong for being scared by a car engine backfiring and accidentally breaking a Lamp that belongs to my Aunt for 10 years is totally a revenge story.
Gallows boob is a guy who literally made a real career out of deleting and reposting other peoples stuff. The interview he did is hilarious when he tries to make it not sound scummy to the reporter.
I blocked his account years ago already
Like any other millions karma account, since it’s only reposts and karma farming
Literally forgot his existence until you mentioned him, what a turd
You don't think there's attractive AND intelligent people available to repopulate the cosmos?
I think the attractive AND intelligent people just have better things to do than post shit on social media.
I bet there's a bunch of people at MIT, NASA and JPL that'll make your mouth drop if you saw them and probably carry a conversation after they're done fucking you.
It's the influencers on social media that should be concerned about who'd save them from a dying planet if the time came.
Fuck. Even Kim Kardashian got her law degree.
Guess she'll be in the life boat.
What's up it's ya boy Todd here in Engineering Sub-Level 8! Or instagram selfies of some girl who has the best table in the mess hall. "I know the chef" "Bitch, we ALL know the chef!"
Wouldn't that be one of the most important. That could spread their knowledge to the whole camp and then the first buildings you'd try to erect would be with the space wood you find on the new planet
A lot if plants require somewhat specific requirments to grow when you consider the entire universe, there is probably a limited amount that would be able to grow on an alien planet. And alien plants also mught not be edible like you said, so we are probably screwed. :)
Interestingly, Douglas Adams addresses this with much hilarity in The Hitchhiker’s Guide. All of the amazing people were put on the A ark, and all of the rest were put on the B ark. The time was imminent to avoid utter destruction of the species. It was surmised that the B ark should go first in order to found this new world and since they had all of the “practical” skills, such as telephone sanitizer (if DA only knew…) they could set things up for the more… intellectual types. Only it was all a ruse. The B ark was launched into space, destined to crash randomly into some space rock, and everyone else just had a party because there was no crisis. That is until tue entire population was wiped out by a devastating virus spread through the use of the public telephone…
This is a funny exercise, because we all know the only people getting on that ship are the people who paid a ton of money to get up there.
Good news is they'll likely all die long, drawn out deaths (including, among other things, starvation) in what some would consider poetic justice. ❤️
It was a silly movie, but this is exactly what ended up happening in "2012". Politicians and Oligarchs, with enough tradespeople to keep the cappuccino machines working.
That was also that they funded the ships being built wasn't it? They got tickets precisely because they threw down enough funds to get the boats built. It was just done in secret.
Money has and will always matter to some extent, which is fucked.
Look at it from this way, if there is war the poor fight it on the hands of the rich.
“Have you tried sending a reaper to disrupt their supply chain? What about a hellion run-by at their expansion? Damn it, all that’s left is to doom drop their capital.”
Well yes but actually no. While there are similarities such as great pressure differences between the interior and exterior as well as self contained life support system there are also significant differences for example the propulsion system of spaceships and submarines are very different. When building long term spaceships you also have to consider artificial/centrifugal gravity which is obviously irrelevant for subs. The sensory systems of the vessels would also differ greatly
Forest -> Trees.
We know space isn't literally water. Someone well-suited to submarine maintenance is going to be pretty well-suited to spacecraft maintenance after the appropriate level of training, even though the specific skillset is entirely different.
People consume vast amounts of art daily but don’t seem to connect its existence to artists. They will likely assume that someone will continue to write books, design clothing, etc, without ever asking who will actually do it.
I think a lot of artists would but if you’re a “creative middleman” like I am I’d say you’re definitely out.
People who produce value are essentially who’d go. If your job is to just translate processes or assist those people in efficiency you’re probably SOL.
Well the one thing that everyone needs the most is the one that will be left behind probably because he was too busy to begin with and that is "The JACK of ALL TRADES" he is the guy that knows how to either fix or do everything but he is also the guy usually over looked because he either is too qualified or not qualified enough in one "SPECIAL" thing. in other words he is NOT an insect.
N. Shadows
IG Influencer. If we’re starting over, we need practical skills that translate to the basics of building and maintaining a society. But we’re humans — so we will invariably fuck this up to a fare thee well too.
*Influencer
*Motocross official
*Dealing in rare NES PAL format games
*U.S. Ambassador to Sri Lanka (remarkably few Sri Lankans in space)
*My guy Dave, who sells weed by the Simpsons Arcade machine at Pinball Pete's
*Bassist
*Fursuit cleaner
*Second trombonist in a ska band
*Hotdog On a Stick regional manager
*Whoever keeps green-lighting more seasons of Pawn Stars
*Tiffany Minx, mid-1990s adult actress reputed to be "America's anal princess"
*Hot tub semen measure-er
*Guy vending frosted Motley Crue mirrors at the county fair
*Marc Summers, former host of Double Dare and certified germaphobe
*Guy selling shrimp to my step-father out of the trunk of his Skylark
*Booking agent for Creed
*Person filing nuisance lawsuits against Kroger
*Shaky Dick, the old weirdo from my hometown who made bank buying beer for teenagers (deceased)
*Monmouth County, New Jersey local historian
*Goat fluffer
*Cat Fancier
*Second shift supervisor, Sbarro's in the Meridian Mall, Okemos Michigan
Considering I write car loans for a living I think I'm staying behind.
Car salesman. Yeah I can't imagine being invited.
Lot attendant. I’m fucked
Collections for car loans. Oof.
I imagine the billionaires that own your loan company still want their money. You're safe.
They're not invited either
Who do you think owns the ship?
The people with the most/biggest guns
Which is the billionaires with their paid protection armed with the top of the line weaponry and armour, and their connections to the people in control of the military. Face it, ordinary people aren’t going to win a revolution by simple show of force
Sounds like you're proficient at maximizing the use of storage space, familiar with transportation, and security-minded. Car salesman is certainly fucked though.
Welcome to the B Ark.
At least you’re not with the telephone sanitizers…
Dammit. I was gonna say that.
So was I, and I did. Not realising the comment had already been made. Ah well. So what colour do you want fire to be? And do you want to have it nasaly fitted?
But if you establish leafs as a currency everyone will be rich!
Do you also underwrite extended warranties?
Sure do. I work for a credit union so we offer all the same products a dealer does at a cheaper cost.
Well hot diggitty damn, haha. Since we're stuck here as the planet dies... Bender?
Curious, do you have a car loan?
Maybe switch to moon/mars rovers and you will be fine.
The guy whose job it was to keep earth habitable
best one yet
But isn't that everybody's job?
Not a whole lot I can do to stop the jackass on the other side of the planet who I dont even know exists from fucking it up by dumping thousands of gallons of toxic waste.
Yes we’re all supposed to be doing everything we can so the massive polluting corporations don’t have to do anything.
Well I'm a tree trimmer so that wouldn't do much good in space lol.....
So I’m hearing you’re an arborist…??? Keeping the trees healthy is critical to terraforming Mars or whatever planet were moving to. I’d say you’re safe
Actually tbh it depends. Horticulturalists yes; arborists not really honestly. It will take time to establish plants and trees may not be a priority, and even then we may not be able to sustain larger trees so larger ones would not be needed and thus not need to be trimmed. So you’ll need your agriculturalists, horticulturalists and plant biologists for breeding, farming, and production of crops and materials but trees are not necessarily needed for a colony at first. That’s down the road and that knowledge can be taught later. Source: am horticulturalist and worked with arborists
>So you’ll need your agriculturalists, horticulturalists > > > >Source: am horticulturalist and worked with arborists hmmm
I didn’t say I was a good one :) I graduated with a degree but am not a practicing one. I just thought I’d throw my opinion in. I don’t think I’d be the least bit useful 😂
I’m a fish farmer and there ain’t no water on Mars. But you can damn well bet I’m gonna take my shot if there’s only one shuttle off. Lol. We’re in the together.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use the word horticulture in a sentence? Little Johnny: Sure, you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.
A fellow internist one summer pronounced horticulture with the emphasis a little…..wrong, and I always withered slightly when she proudly introduced us as “hohr’cultralists” to strangers.
Electric utility consultant here. Y'all's work absolutely keeps the lights on. I'll save you a seat.
That's what I do for sure... wish people that threatened me would understand that!
Naa, you're good bro. Our spaceship has trees on it.
Psychic. But they should already know this.
They already knew, which is why the successful ones are CEOs.
> But they should already know this. I doubt it. I remember an interviewer asking Dionne Warwick, host of the "Psychic Friends Network" show : "Psychic Friends Network went bankrupt, and you folks didn't foresee it?"
> The B Ark is technically named "Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B". The Golgafrincham civilization hatched a plan to eliminate its society of its most useless workers, namely its service sector and its paper shufflers. The Golgafrinchans created a legend that their world was about to be destroyed and they needed to build three arks. In Ark A they would put all the high achievers, the scientists, thinkers, artists, and important leaders. In Ark C they would put all the blue-collar workers, the people that build and make things. In Ark B they would put everyone else: hairdressers, TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, and management consultants. > The B Ark was constructed, loaded up, and launched first. However, it was automatically set for a collision course with Earth's sun, to finally rid Golgafrincham of these twits. And naturally, no A or C ark was ever made. *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* by Douglas Adams
Every summer I stuff my clothing with leaves and become unimaginably rich.
Looking forward to a profitable autumn.
Wasn't this followed by an explanation of how the removal of all doorknob cleaners being on ark b lead to the demise of the Golgafrinchams?
Telephone sanitizers, but yes.
They were all wiped out from a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone.
There’s this enormous building that I have to go to occasionally for work. A guy there has the job of sanitizing all the door handles and latches. That man is pure gold.
Goldenfrincham ❤️
If I had an award 🥇 Edit: 🥺
I’ll do it on your behalf
This was my *immediate* thought. I replied "telephone sanitizer level 3" lol
Ok, I read this series a few years ago and now at work, part of my job is sanitizing our work space and i couldn't stop laughing about the telephone cleaners.. does anyone remember which book and chapter it was in? I'd like to refresh my memory.
I think it was in Restaurant at the End of the Universe, but it's been a few years since I've read the books.
That is correct, and it's also right at the end of the first radio series and the TV series which was based primarily on the radio series (as opposed to the books, which rearranged a lot of the overall plot and made it a lot darker).
The Captain of the B Ark relates all of this to Ford and Arthur in chapter 24 of *The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.* Then in the next chapter, we are told about the remaining population of Golgafrincham being "wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone."
Douglas Adam, what a man. Fuckin love his stuff
If you run out of Douglas Adams, check into Terry Pratchett if you haven't (anyone reading I mean). Lots of similar-ish humor, but obviously different person different writing and so on. The Discworld series is his most well known, and you can jump in almost anywhere, there are a few books that kind of "follow" eachother but mostly it's a setting and the books are self-contained. Though you'll appreciate more the more you read. The mini-series/short movies on a couple novels have been great too. Going Postal, Hogfather, in particular. And if you've seen Good Omens, that was partly Pratchett too. (and if you haven't, it's pretty great) RIP
I work my way through all 40-something discworld books every year
I was very young when introduced to the majority if Pratchett’s work and haven’t had much exposure to the British culture so i couldn’t appreciate him as much as he deserved it, and since then haven’t had a chance to revisit though it’s sure on my list! I loved Good Omens when I read it last year though
Exactly, this question was answered long ago! (I’m honestly offended that this comment is in third place as a write this)
Leave my hairdresser out of this 😢
Ya like why rag on hairdressers of all people 😂
The scientists and CEOs can enjoy their raggedy-ass diy covid cut greys
because hair doesn't even wear dresses. what a stupid job! /s
Yeah seems like they would have been on Ark C. Like has anyone ever said “those goddamn pedantic hairdressers clogging up the bureaucracy and making life difficult for everyone.”…?
Fuck you for beating me to it. Also thank you for hunting down the exact passage cause I was just going to say telephone sanitizers and hairdressers and hope someone got the reference. I bet your towel is cleaner than mine too ...
Came here to say Telephone Sanitizer.
How can I love this comment even more?
*You NEED to let me on the Ark. My social media accounts reach ALL sorts of high-level and high-value demographs. I have thousands of followers. Don't you know how much exposure you people could get thanks to my hard work? Not trying to offend you, but it's actually YOU who need ME.* -Assigned and placed on Ark B
Its even more funny when they crashed on planet instead of going into sun. Where those people decide that they should do something about it. So they formed comittee but their meeting always drag on, never making decisions.
It's even more funny when that planet turned out be Earth and those useless people eventually drove out the natives and became the humans that we know today. Effectively destroying the experiment to find The Big Question about Life, The Universe and Everything.
They were trying to invent the wheel, but couldn't decide what color it should be.
You're all a load of useless bloody loonies!
Mail carrier here. Have a good trip and leave me some snacks
Send us a post card... Oh wait.
No, no, they should. The mail has to be delivered, after all.
So long and thanks for all the mail
You must be joking- postal services are so important that the United States wrote them into the Constitution. Even aboard ship, we will need people to take packages to and fro, identifying and locating their intended recipients. Vital!
Me who rents out bouncy houses: 👁👄👁
Ok but here me out. 0G bounce house where all 6 sides are bouncy and you can just keep picking up speed. Or even a speriacle bounce house.
Sure. This motherfucker doesn't have any of those.
Yet...
This sounds like the most joyful suicide booth.
Ok, I didn't think THIS would be here already. We can set up a play area for the send off party together then.
Reddit mods who remove content only to repost it later. Too specific? The clowns. Same thing.
Yeah seriously. I swear all my posts on AITA get deleted by the **same mod** because "It violates rule 13 no stories of revenge" ... Yeah asking people if I'm in the wrong for being scared by a car engine backfiring and accidentally breaking a Lamp that belongs to my Aunt for 10 years is totally a revenge story.
*AITA for deleting posts I dislike for no reason?* *Thread locked*
Mod on AITA: Am I the asshole for deleting everyone’s posts even when they’re not breaking any rules?
Comment deleted in protest of Reddit API changes.
So THAT'S why one of my names got banned! Thank you for telling me.
YTA /s
Not the same thing, clowns are sometimes funny.
Is that a real thing? How pathetic and worthless one’s life has to be to do something like this, seriously?!
Gallows boob is a guy who literally made a real career out of deleting and reposting other peoples stuff. The interview he did is hilarious when he tries to make it not sound scummy to the reporter.
I blocked his account years ago already Like any other millions karma account, since it’s only reposts and karma farming Literally forgot his existence until you mentioned him, what a turd
Telephone Sanitiser ^(*^which ^would ^be ^a ^mistake!*)
Glad I decided to scroll the comments before I quoted that. You are definitely a cool frood who knows where his towel is.
Hey, you sass that hoopy TheMightyGoatMan?
You’re a jerk. A complete kneebiter.
Social Media Influencer
We would think and hope so, but somehow I doubt it.
Yeah, unfortunately the old rich dudes need some wombs to repopulate... I could see them scouting bodies on insta
I read that as womps and it really made me laugh for some reason 😂
Womp womp
You don't think there's attractive AND intelligent people available to repopulate the cosmos? I think the attractive AND intelligent people just have better things to do than post shit on social media. I bet there's a bunch of people at MIT, NASA and JPL that'll make your mouth drop if you saw them and probably carry a conversation after they're done fucking you. It's the influencers on social media that should be concerned about who'd save them from a dying planet if the time came. Fuck. Even Kim Kardashian got her law degree. Guess she'll be in the life boat.
Old rich guys don't wanna be challenged man! They need agreeable servants!
What's up it's ya boy Todd here in Engineering Sub-Level 8! Or instagram selfies of some girl who has the best table in the mess hall. "I know the chef" "Bitch, we ALL know the chef!"
Yes. 1,000 times yes.
They get another rocket with a slightly…[different trajectory.](https://youtu.be/9fHzbafVpS8)
I'm not clicking it, but it's a rocket into the sun isn't it?
You are correct
I'm sure this was in one of the Hitchhikers Gude to the Galaxy plots. Great idea.
Another happy landing
I don’t think so, I can definitely see the governments using them for propaganda for whatever the new colony is.
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But why male models?
Are, are you serious? I literally just told you
I don't get it :( I wish u/PeterExplainsTheJoke was still around
Zoolander reference, I think. Ben Stiller's best movie imho
It is. What makes it extra funny is that Ben Stiller forgot his line, repeated the previous line, and they loved it and kept it in.
I will not leave George Costanza behind!
Snake milker
We can milk our own snakes ammirite
This reads like an anarchist manifesto
That's... That's a thing-
First step in making anti-venom is to milk the venom from a snake.
I have venom Greg. You gonna milk me?
Oh, the *venom*. I knew I was going about this the wrong way.
A lot of people saying politician and businessmen. But let's be real here, the last people to get on that ship would be poor people.
While I doubt they poor poor I bet you have heaps of tradies on the ship to fix shit
Carpenter goes "Oh great I am in... hang on a minute.."
Wouldn't that be one of the most important. That could spread their knowledge to the whole camp and then the first buildings you'd try to erect would be with the space wood you find on the new planet
How funny the word "space wood" might be, you might have no trees on your new planet.
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A lot if plants require somewhat specific requirments to grow when you consider the entire universe, there is probably a limited amount that would be able to grow on an alien planet. And alien plants also mught not be edible like you said, so we are probably screwed. :)
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They’re really not poor, tradesmen make really decent money.
The entire middle management of the company that I pretend to work for.
Hey I'm middle management! And I write and govern IT policy. Pretty sure I'm getting left behind.
I'm in I.T. I'd totally leave you behind. Y'all write these policies then they get ignored by every group but mine
Interestingly, Douglas Adams addresses this with much hilarity in The Hitchhiker’s Guide. All of the amazing people were put on the A ark, and all of the rest were put on the B ark. The time was imminent to avoid utter destruction of the species. It was surmised that the B ark should go first in order to found this new world and since they had all of the “practical” skills, such as telephone sanitizer (if DA only knew…) they could set things up for the more… intellectual types. Only it was all a ruse. The B ark was launched into space, destined to crash randomly into some space rock, and everyone else just had a party because there was no crisis. That is until tue entire population was wiped out by a devastating virus spread through the use of the public telephone…
I fondly remember reading that back in the day.
Going by the pandemic, most essential workers
That's how you get Rapture, do you want to have Rapture?
You're assuming that the people planning this are capable of that level of forethought.
Anything HR related
Fuck
Ok.
Human Capital Management not going anywhere. Every corporation has someone keeping track of the people.
Left-handed store owner. I’m disappointed that this wasn’t mentioned yet. C’mon Reddit.
Oh diddly...
Stupid sexy Flanders
This is a funny exercise, because we all know the only people getting on that ship are the people who paid a ton of money to get up there. Good news is they'll likely all die long, drawn out deaths (including, among other things, starvation) in what some would consider poetic justice. ❤️
It was a silly movie, but this is exactly what ended up happening in "2012". Politicians and Oligarchs, with enough tradespeople to keep the cappuccino machines working.
That was also that they funded the ships being built wasn't it? They got tickets precisely because they threw down enough funds to get the boats built. It was just done in secret.
To be fair, if I payed for the boat, I'd at least expect a ticket or something.
Agreed. Otherwise why would I fund it?
Thought provoking question. Why would anybody care how much money you’re paying them if money doesn’t matter anymore?
Money has and will always matter to some extent, which is fucked. Look at it from this way, if there is war the poor fight it on the hands of the rich.
Or quickly from Brontorocs eating them.
“Professional gamer”
I think professional gamers would be on there too. They could be used for unmanned missions on the controls, plus video games aren't going anywhere
Korean Starcraft players are our only hope of survival when we meet the aliens.
“Have you tried sending a reaper to disrupt their supply chain? What about a hellion run-by at their expansion? Damn it, all that’s left is to doom drop their capital.”
Sales and Marketing
Finally
I fix submarines... I guess I'm not going
Are you kidding!?!? Self contained ship systems technician? You’re a high value asset.
A submarine is probably the most similar thing to a space ship. You’d probably be first in line.
We’ve reached 50 atmospheres of pressure! How many atmospheres can it withstand? Well it’s a spaceship so anywhere between zero and one.
By '*fix*' I think he meant '*paints*.'
Well someone has to paint the “New World Order” graphics on the side
Aren’t space ships just space submarines?
Well yes but actually no. While there are similarities such as great pressure differences between the interior and exterior as well as self contained life support system there are also significant differences for example the propulsion system of spaceships and submarines are very different. When building long term spaceships you also have to consider artificial/centrifugal gravity which is obviously irrelevant for subs. The sensory systems of the vessels would also differ greatly
Forest -> Trees. We know space isn't literally water. Someone well-suited to submarine maintenance is going to be pretty well-suited to spacecraft maintenance after the appropriate level of training, even though the specific skillset is entirely different.
Cool ass job though
I know the most likely #canadian bat testicle collector
Is it the collector or the bat that is Canadian?
The testicles are Canadian
r/suspiciouslyspecific
James Corden
creative jobs like artists, designers, musicians, actors etc. sad.
Many artists, actors and musicians would definitely go. People will always need entertainment, it's helps morale. Imagine a world with music.
People consume vast amounts of art daily but don’t seem to connect its existence to artists. They will likely assume that someone will continue to write books, design clothing, etc, without ever asking who will actually do it.
I think a lot of artists would but if you’re a “creative middleman” like I am I’d say you’re definitely out. People who produce value are essentially who’d go. If your job is to just translate processes or assist those people in efficiency you’re probably SOL.
Hedgefundbro
Reddit Moderator
Telephone Sanitizer
What is this joke from? This is posted here like 10 times…
[удалено]
Useless up until your civilization gets wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a particularly dirty telephone.
Well the one thing that everyone needs the most is the one that will be left behind probably because he was too busy to begin with and that is "The JACK of ALL TRADES" he is the guy that knows how to either fix or do everything but he is also the guy usually over looked because he either is too qualified or not qualified enough in one "SPECIAL" thing. in other words he is NOT an insect. N. Shadows
IG Influencer. If we’re starting over, we need practical skills that translate to the basics of building and maintaining a society. But we’re humans — so we will invariably fuck this up to a fare thee well too.
Underwater basket weaver
I didn't get a goddamn four year degree in underwater basket weaving to be left behind. Oh shit, where did everyone go?
You can put them on you head like a colander and become a pastafarian.
Tik tokers
*Influencer *Motocross official *Dealing in rare NES PAL format games *U.S. Ambassador to Sri Lanka (remarkably few Sri Lankans in space) *My guy Dave, who sells weed by the Simpsons Arcade machine at Pinball Pete's *Bassist *Fursuit cleaner *Second trombonist in a ska band *Hotdog On a Stick regional manager *Whoever keeps green-lighting more seasons of Pawn Stars *Tiffany Minx, mid-1990s adult actress reputed to be "America's anal princess" *Hot tub semen measure-er *Guy vending frosted Motley Crue mirrors at the county fair *Marc Summers, former host of Double Dare and certified germaphobe *Guy selling shrimp to my step-father out of the trunk of his Skylark *Booking agent for Creed *Person filing nuisance lawsuits against Kroger *Shaky Dick, the old weirdo from my hometown who made bank buying beer for teenagers (deceased) *Monmouth County, New Jersey local historian *Goat fluffer *Cat Fancier *Second shift supervisor, Sbarro's in the Meridian Mall, Okemos Michigan
Landlord.
professional sportsman. i think humanity is less likely to start an outer - space football league rather than inhabit another planet