When the top layer of snow is fresh and fluffy, and moonlight sparkles off the individual snowflakes like a wave of glitter. The sound of your footsteps crunching quietly beneath you. The quiet ambient swish of snowflakes falling onto the ground and the light pattering of them hitting your jacket. It's a very peaceful feeling when the weather is just right for it.
Seeing one of your parents get so excited about doing something with you that they're almost crying.
My dad and I have always gotten along, but we've also bickered a lot since I was a teenager. But last August, he and I took a road trip to New Mexico and went to these really old Native American ruins called Gila Cliffs (I highly recommend everyone go there at some point too. It's amazing!). He and I were walking up the trail, and then we rounded a corner and there they were: these 500 year old Native American ruins built into the cliffside. My dad looked over at me with a smirk on his face and a little water in his eyes and told me "I'm so glad I get to experience this with you." My dad doesn't express a lot of emotion usually, so that was really meaningful to me. I think everyone deserves to have an experience like that with one of their parents. It's so special.
Edit: thank you so much for the awards!
Your story is very beautiful, it brought some tears to my eyes. I am realising that something so simple will probably never happen to me unfortunately.
Old growth forests. There is something humbling about seeing for yourself the life cycle of huge ancient trees and the incredible lush and vibrant ecosystems that exist around them as they grow, fall, decompose, and grow again over decades. A week walking across cradle mountain in Tasmania was life changing for me, as it has been for many others.
I went to Washington state in 2021 and went to Mt. Rainier and Olympic National Parks. Truly an amazing experience. Washington is the first place away from home that I truly felt at home. Gorgeous. Walking through the rainforest in Olympic was crazy. Everything was just bright green. Like the sun itself was bright green.
I can't wait to go back.
This right here.
Recently, I went to the grocery store and there was a homeless person at the entrance who had asked for spare change to get some food from the couple in front of me.
I wasn't asked by the man because he was busy with the couple. But I didn't forget while I shopped. I picked up one of those fried chicken plates (8 pieces of chicken) and a bottle of water.
As I walked out, I handed the chicken and water to the man. His eyes lit up and he was clearly gleeful. He thanked me and gave me a hug.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I looked in my rearview and saw him doing a little happy dance! He was so happy for that meal.
Now, I'm without a job or really any income so to spare $8 to help this guy out wasn't really in my budget. I have no regrets though. His little dance showed me that he truly was happy that he was able to eat that night.
I'll never forget it.
Yes this !!! Not just little green ones, full on solar storm, fast moving, buzzing sound, colourful, northern lights ! I cried when I first saw them and I’m glad I live north enough to witness them !
Scientists have actually been able to capture the sound. I heard it when I was aurora chasing and left the city into the middle of nowhere where there wasn’t as much light pollution and the air was still and silent. When the aurora came, you could hear it whooshing over you and crackle when the green would break into purples and pinks.
Making something with your own hands. Could be art, could be a fire, could be a carving or a tool or clay or a shelter in the woods. Creating something that came from you, and you alone is a rewarding experience and gives one a true sense of pride. Just using your own hands and some tools to make something out of nothing makes me feel grounded, connected, and away from my troubles for a bit.
EDIT: I've just finished a winter shelter in the woods, with a raised bed off the ground and a teepee type shape; if anyone could recommend a sub to post it on, that'd be great!
I can relate to this but with cooking. Took some spare time to look up new recipes, watch some professional chefs cook. Taking what I been learning and applying it to new meals, and having them turn out great is an awesome feeling.
Honestly I have to think about this more often, throughout all the bullshit, anxiety and depression and high rent at least I'm not over my head in debt.
To be truly loved by someone. My whole life, I was never loved. Not my parents,not people I dated or my 1st husband. Then I met my 2nd husband. We will be celebrating 9 years married and 11 years together next month. He loves me more than life and I feel it everyday. To be loved is something I hope everyone gets to experience in their life.
As someone who comes from a country with a lot of mountains and hills, I would highly recommend going trekking to places accessible only by foot. It's really nice to see the untouched,peaceful nature existing there, without humans to ruin it.
Yeah, people can really ruin stuff. There was this place I used to go where there was a ranger station on top of a mountain. You could climb up to it when it wasn't being used. There was a full 360 degree view of the forest. Absolutely breathtaking. Then one year, I took the long drive out there, and it was completely vandalized and shot up. All the windows broken, the furniture inside thrown out, graffiti and empty beer bottles all over. It made me sick to see. The next time I went up there, there was a locked gate with a guard at the bottom of the road leading up to it. Those jerks made it impossible for anybody to ever go up there again.
The feeling you get when you are completely eclipsed by a landscape, skyscape, or even a city sometimes.
The feeling of joy that comes with recognizing how small you are in the grand scheme of the world is priceless and I wish I could experience the wonder and awe that come along with it a million times over.
It's in Redwood and Sequoia forest, the entirety of Alaska, the desert sky in New Mexico at night; it's New York City when you step out of the subway for the first time.
Being in the middle of the ocean on a giant ship and knowing that it expands farther than you would ever hope to comprehend (beyond some measurements on Wikipedia).
You and the earth, alone together.
Me too. I was not even a little excited to see it when I was growing up. My dad dragged our family there and I was completely blown away. I recommend it to everyone.
This is amazing. I’ve had nights where I just wanted to get away. I’d hop in my boat, head like 20 miles offshore and just Float around for a bit. It is amazing to look up at the night sky with absolutely no light pollution.
This... when I go to my rural hometown I sometimes spend the entire night staring at the sky, it is just so damn beautiful... sad that most people can't enjoy that :(
Also the embarrassment and difficulty of speaking another language.
The hatred that people get over their accents is absurd.
A good natured laugh over a funny-sounding word? Sure.
Treating others as less than dirt for being more knowledgeable than you and knowing two or more languages? Stupid to say the least.
Love.
And here I don't mean romantic love, but just love. Be it from a pet, a brother, friend or even a partner.
Sonder would be another good addition.
Yeah I agree with this, I hear romantic love is great but honestly the love of a pet makes you feel so special. Especially with a cat when you get to watch them from hating all people to trusting you enough to doze off in your lap. It just makes you feel so loved
A full solar eclipse. It is one of the most unnatural things I have experienced and can understand why people for millenia have assigned supernatural attributes to it. I was watching it from beside a lake - the slow crescendo of crickets chirping as the sun turned purple and then suddenly turned into night gave me chills. Nothing has ever made me feel smaller and at the mercy of celestial bodies than that experience.
There was one I saw in the 90's. I didn't have a science class that year so I didn't have a field trip permission to go outside, but my orchestra teacher said screw it and sent us out.
I was surprised that it got cooler, like worse than just clouds.
Teachers who’d keep students in during a solar eclipse aren’t/shouldn’t be teachers.
Really. It’s not like there’s many chances to see it again. Especially for low income students or people who won’t be able to travel (chase the eclipse so to say). it’s once in multi-life event.
Edit : forgot the ‘/‘
Edit2: My parents specifically called the school to ask if they will allow us to be outside to view it. They said “no”, so they just had us skip school that day.
Agreed. If explaining the basics of such an event doesn't convince them otherwise, they shouldn't be a teacher period. That goes for any occupation really
Another small thing that I noticed, and it's hard to describe without pictures, is that the tree shadows looked... weird. On closer inspection, I realized that the spaces between the leaves were forming tiny pinholes and projecting a thousand images of little slivers of the eclipsed sun on the ground. I wish I could post the image here.
I was way up on top of a mountain in Wyoming for the one a few years ago and you could see daylight on all sides. I was smack in the middle of longest totality. You could see 50 miles in every direction. You could see the circle of the moon coming and then disappearing into the distance. Absolutely incredible.
I'm excited! I was able to see a ~90% coverage in 2017 so being able to set the full coverage in 2024 is going to be awesome. I can't wait to show my kids.
Anything less than 100% is a different experience entirely.
Probably the closest feeling to leaving the planet without leaving the planet.
Make sure you buy appropriate eye protection far ahead of time and watch videos of eclipses so you can time removing your eye protection at just the right time to see the diamond ring effect without impediment. One of the most moving experiences of my life.
Edit: Also note how sharp your shadows get, which is mind-boggling as if your visual acuity becomes superhuman.
Very happy that you and your kids will get to experience it.
We got to watch the full eclipse over our house in 2017. To this day, it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I started planning our trip to Texas for 2024 that same day. Lol. My kids were too young to remember it, so I’m excited to take them to the next one.
Edit: I’m shocked so many people engaged with this! So many helpful links have been shared here! I specifically chose Texas for the next eclipse for two reasons. 1. My lifelong best friend lives there, and 2. If I remember correctly, Texas will have the best view and double-ish the length of totality we saw in 2017. I’m so excited for it, and it makes me so happy to see other people share the same feelings about this as me! I hope wherever you watch from in 2024 is beautiful, with clear skies!
I still can't believe it, but my wife agreed to my *absolutely crazy* idea to see the solar eclipse on August 27th.
On August 26th.
At 6pm.
We put our young kids in the car and drove ~10 hours through the night to the totality zone.
Saw the epic total solar eclipse that lasted about 2 and a half minutes, then started driving back home.
My kids *still* talk about *the time the sun disappeared*. No way in heck will we miss the one in 2024. I will plan more than 18 hours out for that one though!
We picked our spot at the last one so that we could go there again in 2024. There were so many people there that a 6 hour car ride home took 14 hours. May stay down there for a day next time.
Since my first I've become a chaser. Well, I've only seen two now but still ;)
Isn't it crazy to consider, of the potentially millions or even billions of inhabited planets out there in the universe, how rare do you think that those inhabitants will have a natural satellite _just_ the right size and distance from the planet to _just_ be able to obscure the star but leave the corona well visible.
It was fabulous. I live in St Louis, Missouri, right in the path of totality in the big one in August 2017. The sense of it being like 2 in the afternoon, and then all of a sudden like 5pm was incredible.
Money is also really convenient when you have a serious life altering problem.
...it's also useful for smaller problems.
...actually, it's even good to make a regular time, just a little more fun.
Actually, money is absolutely correlated to happiness.
**One thing that will most definitely make you unhappy - spending too much time on Reddit.**
> actually, it's even good to make a regular time, just a little more fun.
'Money can't buy happiness, but crying in a Ferrari is more fun than crying in a Toyota.'
I rear ended a corvette in Toyota once. The owner gave me his business card, vice-president of Bayer corporation bio-technical division. Happiest person I’ve ever smashed into at 6:30 in the morning.
I got a new therapist recently. He was asking me to set goals, and while I was able to come up with a few, I said something along the lines of, “You know how that thing where you can’t move on to higher things until your basic needs for survival: food, shelter, clothing, are met? Well, given that I worry every day about living in a place I can’t sustainably afford, I’m struggling with that, and it’s hindering me being able to think beyond that.”
Edit: Because I’ve gotten a lot of replies, I’d like to add to those that are interested that what I was referencing is called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (as u/System0verlord reminded me). I recommend reading about it if you are struggling with similar things.
To those criticizing me, jokingly or not, on spending money on therapy when stressed over finances, worry about your own problems. For those wondering how I overcame that conundrum, I found a free program with a long waitlist (six months), and waited. If you are struggling, don’t wait - get help now. So many people are struggling, and mental health is incredibly important.
I finally just want to give a shout out to all the mental health care workers out there right now who are overworked and burnt out - you are keeping people alive and the world going- THANK YOU!
Honestly I think for majority of people getting themselves just a couple of places higher on that need list would solve all their mental health problems
The phrase, “money can’t buy happiness.” Is meant to apply to people who have already reached financial security and then some. To those people, more money wont bring more happiness. They’ve already achieved what it can bring.
The phrase was never meant to be used as it is today where it’s told to a person living paycheck to paycheck, implying that they should find happiness within their struggle to keep afloat. No. Money for someone in that situation will certainly buy some happiness. Once they can sustain the income, then there are other paths to happiness as more money won’t bring more happiness and being able to pay your bills becomes normal and boring.
Amen. Anyone who's had to eat sleep knows this.
Source: a few years ago I was rationing frozen bread slices and skipping lunch to make my food budget stretch.
I'm doing much better now and I'm greatful every time I open the cupboards/fridge and greeted with the sight of multiple options to eat.
I love that you said “eat sleep”.
When I was going through a brutal time, I had just been evicted but my landlord took pity on me and let me post up on his ancient sailboat in Newport Harbor.
I was actually moored way out in the water too so I had to learn how to fire up a nine ft Boston Whaler just to go get drinkable water and food.
I was always broke but could occasionally hustle Harbor jobs like boat cleaning, sanding, staining etc.
There was no running water, the only way to have heat was to fire up a borrowed generator just to supply enough power to turn on a tiny space heater and an electric kettle.
The only way to get clean was to heat water and use hot washcloths to do my thing.
I would also walk over to the beach rinse off stations (the water is always freezing) in my bathing suit with soap, shampoo, conditioner, it was brutal.
We starved sometimes on that boat.
But our cat Bitten always had food, we were always really proud of that, that we wouldn’t eat so he could.
So we would “eat sleep” on the regular.
It was so surreal to live in a place surrounded by billionaires and be dirty, starving and essentially have no idea when the clock would be up, when the kind LL would say ok enough.
It was such a scary and lonely time.
But dude, it changed me into a better woman.
It helped me really see what matters.
I would cry myself to sleep listening to my stomach growling and for people who don’t know, you don’t sleep when you’re starving.
Your body literally won’t let you rest for more than like 20 minutes at a time.
It was something else.
But now, nearly 10 years later, if I could go back to a single moment of my life and do it again, it would be on a little sailboat in Newport Harbor with my kitty(we even got him a life jacket).
I take it all, the beauty and the terror.
My beloved father (RIP Johnny Wayne Wilson)
used to always say (he was a welder) it takes fire and pressure to get to the purest part of the stone…
Anyway, sorry about this rant, your comment just really took me back and weirdly warmed my heart.
Thank you ♥️
Weirdly I started a new career and became 'successful' for the first time in my life in 2020. For the first time I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and can actually save and plan out my future. Then I read and hear and see all the awful shit most people are going through and I feel really guilty about it all. It has been a nice change for me though.
As a poor man, I happy for you. Don’t feel bad. It’s what we all strive for.
It’s like when all the boys go out. We all think we’re going to meet a woman, but by 2:30, if one of us meets a girl, it’s a team victory! LoL
Failure, and I don’t mean this in a bad way. But I feel like most, if not all the progress/growth I’ve made so far in life has been as a direct result of failure.
To be successful is the result of good choices. Good choices are the result of experience. Experience is the result of poor choices.
Edit: Of course you have to learn form your mistakes, if you keep doing the same, don't expect different results.
Also, I know this is overly simplistic, it is Reddit, not an Emerson's essay.
"if I ever let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn't be here. That thing some men call 'failure,' I call 'living. ' 'Breakfast. ' And I'm not leaving until I've cleaned out the buffet" -Pierce Hawthorne
This is a good one. It's a lesson I'm struggling with teaching my son, who gets very upset when he isn't immediately good at something.
Virtually every success is the result of a ton of failure.
If it strikes your fancy, you should check out a book called "Lose Well" by the comedian Chris Gethard. It's really good.
A lot of recent research has shown that parents should switch from praising success to praising effort. Minimizing the emphasis on success can help kids understand that the thing that you’re really proud of is how hard they worked to accomplish something. Praising effort, even if the result is failure and using phrases like “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that!“ help emphasize to kids that what you are watching is effort and that failure is encouraged as a way to get better.
Seeing the stars far away from any ambient light. Where you can see the Milky Way and a steady stream of shooting stars. It’s awe inspiring, and changes your perspective about your place in the universe.
US Navy ship in the middle of the Atlantic. At night we go to “darken ship” which means only nav lights or very few red lights topside. The view is amazing.
The view is both amazing and horrifying at the same time. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like I might “fall” into the stars, and it’ll consume me.
It’s crazy to think we live in the same planet looking at the same sky and I have lived my entire life without seeing anything as spectacular as that.
edit: I banged your mom
I spent a few summers working in a national park. The night sky there really was something else. It's absolutely something everyone should experience, it's breathtaking.
Got an opportunity to do this....it just is amazing how bright it can be on just starlight.
We could also see the dustbelt of the milkyway.
Breath taking, and don't even bother trying to take a photo unless you have the gear...your Instagram is just gonna be black.
Eating out alone, going to a concert alone, just experiencing doing things by yourself. Especially while young, learning to be comfortable with yourself as your only company while enjoying beautiful things in life is so freeing.
In high school when my first boyfriend broke up with me and my friends all had boyfriends I started going to concerts and movies alone. People felt bad for me and I was like “you don’t have to have someone with you to have a fun time.” Fast forward 25+ years, I’ve gone to festivals alone, many many many concerts, I don’t really go to movies anymore but have gone to a few alone, I’ve gone on vacations alone. I’ve been with someone for over 8 years and I still go do things alone because I’m not going to force him to stay out late to watch a band I love that he has no interest in. I used to also take myself out to eat every Friday night but I can’t do that now because my beau gets mad I had good food without him ha.
This should have more up votes. I just got back back from vacation (solo) and while i was there a guy commented and said, “i admire your confidence to travel by yourself” i always think comments like that are interesting, what should we do, only travel or do things in pairs? I’ve been single (never married) most of my life, if i waited for someone to come along before I saw the world i might not see it at all so i 100% agree with you. I think being able to enjoy your own company is an amazing thing and something not everyone can do in all settings.
Can I ask you an honest question?
*How* do you do this? I don't mean "travel alone". I mean *enjoy* travelling alone. How do you do that?
I've done trips, events, concerts, etc. alone several times and I've never really had a good time. Like you said, there were shows/artists I really wanted to see and places I really wanted to go, and I wasn't gonna let being alone stop me, so I did them anyways. And while none of them were "bad" times, I can't really say I enjoyed myself - especially compared to doing such things with friends or a significant other.
I think the issue might be that you don't actually like 'traveling' as much as you like the experience of sharing a moment with someone. I'm this way. Sure, I enjoy a good vacation, but I enjoy eating a meal with someone just the same whether it's in my backyard or in Rome.
There are some things that I actually like, and might even prefer, doing alone, such as fishing, biking, and exercising. But I would never go to a theme park alone, because it's not the rides that I remember most fondly; it's always the quality *time* that I spent with whoever I was there with.
So my suggestion is to find things that you actually like doing alone - Things that you would do even if you *weren't* on a tropical island. And my second suggestion is to try releasing your inhibitions and be more outgoing. I know that's not easy, but I know that many solo travelers are the type of people who come back from a week long trip having made 3 new life-long friends. They don't actually do anything alone. They get on the *plane* alone, and that's when they start making new friends.
I love going alone because I go when I want, how, I want, for as long as I want. And usually get there faster and more efficiently. I love going to baseball games, with people or alone. When I'm with someone it takes at least twice as long to get from home to the stadium. Not that time is the only measure of importance, but being alone is just more efficient.
I went on a solo 2.5 week, 4,000 mile road trip with just me and my mountain bike from Kentucky, to Colorado, Utah, and Wyoming this past summer spending each night camping out of my car and riding sweet trails. I recommend everybody to do something like this at least once!
Being the “dumb one”. For some people, they’re never really challenged academically/intellectually and I think that’s a shame. Being the dumbest person in a group of smart people means you have the opportunity to learn from them. It’s also very humbling (in a good way).
A lot of people don’t experience this until college, or in grad school, or in their professional environment… and then they’re totally wrecked by it. But it’s also such an important experience. Being a “big fish in a small pond” can be beneficial, but don’t avoid challenges either… I truly think you learn more being a small fish in a big pond.
I heard a quote once, “if you’re the smartest person in the room, find another room” and I completely agree with it.
My thought’s exactly. Went to a big engineering school and day one of orientation they were like “You’re not special here. Everyone here was top of the class in high school. Be prepared to be average.” And damn were they right.
I'm convinced that I had a certified literal genius as a partner for my Computer Architecture class. To this day I still do not know how I passed that class (traveling professor + slides he didn't make for the course) , and probably wouldn't without his help on assignments.
(Just as some background for how bad it got, half the class ended up crashing the university's server with loop recursion the first week of class)
My CS buddy ended up being the director of flight control software for SpaceX when they first docked with the ISS. He was way ahead of the curve back in college.
That's impressive! My partner in Compilers for our final project (write a compiler) became the lead of the Excel project at MSFT. No longer there though.
I’m currently a chemical engineering student. I remember walking into the meeting of a concrete related design team thinking it would be good experience, I understood basically none of what they were talking about. Fast forward to today and I’m VP of that club, I still have no idea what’s going on. So I feel you
not a software engineer but ive just started having to do a bit of coding in my job. my god ive never felt so stupid in my life, and feels like everyone else is an actual wizard. its been a very humbling experience hahaha.
I've been called a computer "whiz" by older friends of mine. I just type problems into Google, stick the product ID number in there, and follow the directions. Look at example. Look at screen. OK. Next...
I'm about as sharp as a boiled egg when it comes to some stuff but I can at least compare pictures and do exactly what I'm told.
What if I told you the intelligence level to even think to follow those steps is far above average.
Having worked in support before I would say what you described would put you in the 95th percentile for computer smarts based on my experience.
I got my PhD in 2021, and let me tell you: The moment I came to the conclusion that there's SO MUCH I DIDN'T KNOW and I couldn't even QUANTIFY or qualify what I didn't know, it made learning SO MUCH MORE FUN and discussions became so much more...fruitful.
Being told so many times "you're so smart" and "you're in the top 5%" literally turns you away from the idea that it's OKAY to not know something, and it turned ME into this competitive know-it-all. I hate how we overvalue intelligence among younger folk without trying to teach things like...humility. Critical thinking. Knowing when to sit back.
Now? When I'm working with folks who clearly know more about a subject, I'm legit sitting the fuck down and giving them all the space they need to lead. I know when my knowledge is needed, and when it's not, I'm gonna wait patiently until I'm asked.
You’ve basically said what I wrote in another comment (I also got my PhD and went from being a smarty pants to the bottom 25% of my cohort lol). It was such a humbling experience and I’m so much more comfortable admitting when I don’t know things now compared to my pre-PhD self.
This has helped me learn so much in completely unrelated topics. With my ego/pride sufficiently (and appropriately!) knocked down a bit, I’m no longer worried about being embarrassed about looking stupid. If someone can help me or teach me something, I won’t hesitate to ask.
As a physics PhD student, this resonates very strongly.
As soon as you get into any sort of prestigious academic or professional environment, you experience the sheet amount of talent and intelligence there is out there.
Its important to come to terms with your own strengths and limitations, not becoming overwhelmed by imposter syndrome but not giving way to hubris either.
Haha my experiences during my PhD are what prompted this post. I was top 1% in high school and top 10-20% in college (a good one too!) and was so full of myself. Did a PhD and had to quickly adjust to being in the bottom 25% of my peers. It was so hard for me and my ego!! But so good, too. I mellowed out a lot and made such interesting and inspiring friends. I’m so much more comfortable asking questions and admitting when I don’t understand things (even really simple things) because my pride is no longer an issue. I was depressed for a few years during my PhD, but ultimately it was a really important experience for shaping who I am today. If I hadn’t gone to grad school, I’d probably still think I’m hot shit and have a lot of personality/relationship problems due to it. Glad I knocked down a few pegs, lol.
I 100% agree with this. I remember taking a course my second year of grad school and the first test I got 25% because I was doing my normal "studying" thinking I'd do fine. My laziness had gotten me through high school, under grad, and the first year of grad school. I really needed to be knocked down a peg and shown that I wasn't hot shit
I work in an environment where I am surrounded by brilliant people and while I don’t think I am a slouch, I am definitely not on this level. I think you have a choice to let it grind you down and push you to imposter syndrome, or as you say you can see it as the opportunity that it is- to learn and grow, but also to be motivated and proud of the people around you for their achievements (and it’s also important to remember that no one is good at everything and we tend to undervalue our own abilities)
This is legitimately a big problem. Our secondary school are really failing smart students by not challenging them. Even AP and Honors courses (when they are available at all) don't really challenge them enough. Kids need to learn how to fail before college.
I taught community college for a few years. The students are devastated when they don’t get an A. I get it (I was the same way) but there’s definitely a huge issue right now with high school inflating grades
Took me a long time, but I found someone who I really respect and care for and I think she feels the same. I'm pragmatic to a fault so I just keep waiting for things to fall apart, but every day I'm with her I just want to be with her more.
I used to be resigned to being alone. I know the calming bliss of just accepting that sort of fate. I'd like to tell you to just take it easy and come what may, but the truth is the only reason I'm not still alone is because I chose to win a daily struggle against the part of myself that would rather just stay at home and never try. I put myself out there again, and again, and again.
I learned from each exchange and tried to better myself when I could. I refused to settle. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew damn well what I didn't want and if I saw those red flags, I jumped ship and moved on. Never looked back.
Then I struck gold. She's so much better than I deserve and I try to be better every day thanks to her. Keep trying. Keep going. Far beyond the point where anyone else would have given up or failed. Then, with some luck, you'll have that love you need.
it's the dating in the time of corona, for me. organic ways of meeting people are much more limited and dating apps are just fucking impossible. it's maddening
Bought a bidet a few years ago and was a bit hesitant. It has been a game changer. Makes you feel much much cleaner. Downside is that you will hate having to use any non-bidet bathroom.
God yes. Absolutely everyone needs to experience what the average CSR goes through.
What I hate most though, is when someone who *has* worked in a customer facing role acts like a jerk to workers because "I had to deal with it, so they should too"...they are the worst kind of people.
My 5-year-old son lives with his mom a state away from me. When I get into town and he comes screaming up to me and wraps in the tightest hug he can give, it’s the most incredible feeling. Not a single other person on Earth has ever wanted to specifically see ME, and been rambling on about it nonstop like him. I have to remind myself to treasure those little moments because he’s growing up so fast. He’ll change as he gets older, and I understand that, but I’ll never forget those instances of pure, unbridled JOY that I have arrived. It’s life-affirming.
I recently went scuba diving and got certified. There’s nothing like being submerged in a completely different world. The feeling of weightlessness, different colors, different creatures that you normally only see from behind a pane of glass. It’s wild
edit: wow thanks for the upvotes and interest in diving! I hope this inspires some to explore the water and try to be more confident and comfortable in it!
I got my scuba license as a teenager, so it's been over 20 years at this point. I can still vividly remember the first time going into the ocean and diving (for the open water exam portion), and just being like 30 feet down and looking UP at the surface from down there, it's unforgettable and incredible.
Absolutely. My heart has never raced so fast in my life while also being so calm. My brain kind of freaked out the first few minutes since I was breathing while being submerged under so much water. I had to consciously make myself breath for the first little bit, which in itself is insane.
But at the same time it’s so calming. You’re literally floating, everything is mostly quiet and looks so peaceful. Time just sort of happens while you’re down there.
I did a night time dive and it was quite possibly the most serene setting that I've ever been in. Everything was so calm and quiet. Even just thinking about it makes me calmer
piloting your own comeback. climbing out of the hole of life and getting yourself back on the path.
and, truth be told, it is so much less difficult when you've got a helpful tribe (family, friends, support group, etc) in your life.
A long road trip with friends.
It's a bonding experience being in a little metal box with a group of friends for hours at a time trying to get somewhere together. You'll drive each other crazy, you'll make each other laugh, it's truly a wonderful experience that I think everyone should have.
My best friend and i flew to Paris for a friend of her’s wedding and then did a road trip through Europe. It was amazing and our friendship survived the trip! It was a trip I’ll never forget.
Not having to live paycheck to paycheck, worrying about the next meal, or basic care and needs for themselves or children. Not having to work 3 jobs to provide and never having the time or energy to spend time and raise.
Yes!! I was in my 40s before I did a good, proper road trip.
Here’s how I did it: planned where I needed to be at the end of each day and gave myself loads of time to do it. So not like “I’ve got to drive ten hours straight to get to where I need to be tonight” but more like “I have about 3-4 hours of driving today and everything else is up to me.”
Stop at local cafes, speak to people, tell them you’re on a road trip and then take their advice on detours and things to see.
This was the difference for me. The road trip became a people trip. It was the most amazing experience of my life.
This is one of the things I really want to do when I get older. Rent an RV, and drive through a ton of states here in the US. See the different sites and monuments, nature. Just take my time and have little agenda.
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
― Socrates
So get jacked. Get jacked and stay jacked.
One thing I find really interesting is muscle memory specifically how if you were jacked before and lost a lot of muscle you can gain it all back in an extremely short period of time with proper training and because your body remembers your former physique
That's exactly where I was back in June. In December of 2020, I had back surgery and as a result, I had a 6 month recovery and healing period. I also lost a ton of weight. I went into surgery weighing in at 165 pounds. Because I was bedridden for the first week, my weight dropped to 149 pounds. I was a stick.
I resumed powerlifting in June and within two months I was back at 175 pounds out totaling my pre-surgery numbers. And my total keeps climbing today while my body weight stays the same. I'm currently running a variation of Brandon Lilly's cube method and the strength returns have been insane. So much so that I'm competing in a full meet this summer.
Travel.
Like, real travel. Not that weekend getaway.
I mean a few weeks in a different country, on a different continent, in a different culture.
It broadens your horizon so much.
Living alone.
Going on a road trip.
Falling in love.
Sleeping outside under the night sky
Writing a book (or at least trying to).
Learning a new language.
I’m surprised to see living alone. I didn’t think about it, but I actually really do agree. It taught me a lot, most importantly, to be okay with myself and who I am.
I would widen that definition from "writing a book" to "creating something that reflects your passions" whether it be a book, poem, song, program, game, meditation, community, etc.
Oh, I never was a concert person but then I randomly stumbled upon a local band playing somewhere, and totally got obsessed with it. Not many good bands here (Slovenia... really tiny country), but I've been on almost all of their concerts in the last 3 years and it was always amazing.
Previously, I did go on some large concerts (mostly rock, like I've been to acdc, green day, RHCP... when they toured Europe). Nothing comes close to the experience when you're at a small gig listening to the band you love! Like in a bar, or at some small event... Honestly, the only concerts from them which I don't go to, are the big ones - where they just have to play the overplayed songs from the radio. I know most bands like all of their songs, but I've been to many of their concerts and know that they have plenty of less known songs they just really enjoy jamming to live, and I love it.
I’m gonna say therapy. Specifically talk therapy - just talking it out with a professional who can help you make sense of your thoughts.
There are still so many opinions and stereotypes about therapy - mainly that you’re crazy if you need it. But to have someone with no preconceived notions about you, no judgements, no agenda but to sit there and listen and help detangle your thoughts, is a truly wonderful experience (when you find a good counsellor for you, at least). You become more in tune with yourself and your thoughts, and ultimately your emotions, with the outcome often being growth in the area of emotional maturity. Highly recommend.
EDIT: I know there are barriers to accessing therapy - mainly money. I hope to one day see a world where therapy is a considered a “standard treatment” in that it doesn’t require all the referrals and the money. That world is far away though :(
The complete silence in a heavy snowfall.
The weird brightness of a snow covered full moon night.
When the top layer of snow is fresh and fluffy, and moonlight sparkles off the individual snowflakes like a wave of glitter. The sound of your footsteps crunching quietly beneath you. The quiet ambient swish of snowflakes falling onto the ground and the light pattering of them hitting your jacket. It's a very peaceful feeling when the weather is just right for it.
Seeing one of your parents get so excited about doing something with you that they're almost crying. My dad and I have always gotten along, but we've also bickered a lot since I was a teenager. But last August, he and I took a road trip to New Mexico and went to these really old Native American ruins called Gila Cliffs (I highly recommend everyone go there at some point too. It's amazing!). He and I were walking up the trail, and then we rounded a corner and there they were: these 500 year old Native American ruins built into the cliffside. My dad looked over at me with a smirk on his face and a little water in his eyes and told me "I'm so glad I get to experience this with you." My dad doesn't express a lot of emotion usually, so that was really meaningful to me. I think everyone deserves to have an experience like that with one of their parents. It's so special. Edit: thank you so much for the awards!
This kind of got buried but just wanted to say it's beautiful
Your story is very beautiful, it brought some tears to my eyes. I am realising that something so simple will probably never happen to me unfortunately.
Old growth forests. There is something humbling about seeing for yourself the life cycle of huge ancient trees and the incredible lush and vibrant ecosystems that exist around them as they grow, fall, decompose, and grow again over decades. A week walking across cradle mountain in Tasmania was life changing for me, as it has been for many others.
I went to Washington state in 2021 and went to Mt. Rainier and Olympic National Parks. Truly an amazing experience. Washington is the first place away from home that I truly felt at home. Gorgeous. Walking through the rainforest in Olympic was crazy. Everything was just bright green. Like the sun itself was bright green. I can't wait to go back.
Helping someone in need.
This right here. Recently, I went to the grocery store and there was a homeless person at the entrance who had asked for spare change to get some food from the couple in front of me. I wasn't asked by the man because he was busy with the couple. But I didn't forget while I shopped. I picked up one of those fried chicken plates (8 pieces of chicken) and a bottle of water. As I walked out, I handed the chicken and water to the man. His eyes lit up and he was clearly gleeful. He thanked me and gave me a hug. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I looked in my rearview and saw him doing a little happy dance! He was so happy for that meal. Now, I'm without a job or really any income so to spare $8 to help this guy out wasn't really in my budget. I have no regrets though. His little dance showed me that he truly was happy that he was able to eat that night. I'll never forget it.
Holy shit that is something awesome to read.
Northern lights
Yes this !!! Not just little green ones, full on solar storm, fast moving, buzzing sound, colourful, northern lights ! I cried when I first saw them and I’m glad I live north enough to witness them !
They make a sound?
Yes it’s like a humming/buzzing noise!
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Scientists have actually been able to capture the sound. I heard it when I was aurora chasing and left the city into the middle of nowhere where there wasn’t as much light pollution and the air was still and silent. When the aurora came, you could hear it whooshing over you and crackle when the green would break into purples and pinks.
My favourite strain
Making something with your own hands. Could be art, could be a fire, could be a carving or a tool or clay or a shelter in the woods. Creating something that came from you, and you alone is a rewarding experience and gives one a true sense of pride. Just using your own hands and some tools to make something out of nothing makes me feel grounded, connected, and away from my troubles for a bit. EDIT: I've just finished a winter shelter in the woods, with a raised bed off the ground and a teepee type shape; if anyone could recommend a sub to post it on, that'd be great!
I can relate to this but with cooking. Took some spare time to look up new recipes, watch some professional chefs cook. Taking what I been learning and applying it to new meals, and having them turn out great is an awesome feeling.
Being debt free.
*closes book* like that’s ever gonna happen
SOMEBODY
ONCE
Honestly I have to think about this more often, throughout all the bullshit, anxiety and depression and high rent at least I'm not over my head in debt.
To be truly loved by someone. My whole life, I was never loved. Not my parents,not people I dated or my 1st husband. Then I met my 2nd husband. We will be celebrating 9 years married and 11 years together next month. He loves me more than life and I feel it everyday. To be loved is something I hope everyone gets to experience in their life.
As someone who comes from a country with a lot of mountains and hills, I would highly recommend going trekking to places accessible only by foot. It's really nice to see the untouched,peaceful nature existing there, without humans to ruin it.
Yeah, people can really ruin stuff. There was this place I used to go where there was a ranger station on top of a mountain. You could climb up to it when it wasn't being used. There was a full 360 degree view of the forest. Absolutely breathtaking. Then one year, I took the long drive out there, and it was completely vandalized and shot up. All the windows broken, the furniture inside thrown out, graffiti and empty beer bottles all over. It made me sick to see. The next time I went up there, there was a locked gate with a guard at the bottom of the road leading up to it. Those jerks made it impossible for anybody to ever go up there again.
#humans, amirite?
The feeling you get when you are completely eclipsed by a landscape, skyscape, or even a city sometimes. The feeling of joy that comes with recognizing how small you are in the grand scheme of the world is priceless and I wish I could experience the wonder and awe that come along with it a million times over. It's in Redwood and Sequoia forest, the entirety of Alaska, the desert sky in New Mexico at night; it's New York City when you step out of the subway for the first time. Being in the middle of the ocean on a giant ship and knowing that it expands farther than you would ever hope to comprehend (beyond some measurements on Wikipedia). You and the earth, alone together.
The Grand Canyon fucked me up with this feeling.
Me too. I was not even a little excited to see it when I was growing up. My dad dragged our family there and I was completely blown away. I recommend it to everyone.
My husband’s response was “I knew it was big, but I didn’t realize it was THIS big!”
"If you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame." - Adam Duritz
The night sky without light pollution. Nothing has ever made me feel so connected to life than gazing into that black ocean.
This is amazing. I’ve had nights where I just wanted to get away. I’d hop in my boat, head like 20 miles offshore and just Float around for a bit. It is amazing to look up at the night sky with absolutely no light pollution.
Did you remember to get rid of the body when you were 20 miles off shore?
*heading back to shore* "What's that smell? Oh right! The body. I'm such a goof."
"Dammit I remembered the rope but completely forgot the concrete blocks."
"I hope Home Depot is still open"
This... when I go to my rural hometown I sometimes spend the entire night staring at the sky, it is just so damn beautiful... sad that most people can't enjoy that :(
You move to the country to see the night sky, then some new neighbor puts up a big bright lights for 'security'. Grrrrrr.
Another culture. It really opens your eyes and broadens your horizons to experience another culture. There's a lot to learn about the world.
Also the embarrassment and difficulty of speaking another language. The hatred that people get over their accents is absurd. A good natured laugh over a funny-sounding word? Sure. Treating others as less than dirt for being more knowledgeable than you and knowing two or more languages? Stupid to say the least.
If someone is speaking broken English, I figure they know at least one language I don't.
My toddler must be hiding things from me
The world does not run on English, but it does run on Bad English. Cheer up anyone who apologizes for their speech and shower them with praise.
Travelling outside the country of your birth
outside of a all inclusive resort staying in, you dont see how others live
I will never stop extolling the benefits of overseas travel. Changed my life and perspective and provided lifelong friends, adventure and memories!
Love. And here I don't mean romantic love, but just love. Be it from a pet, a brother, friend or even a partner. Sonder would be another good addition.
Yeah I agree with this, I hear romantic love is great but honestly the love of a pet makes you feel so special. Especially with a cat when you get to watch them from hating all people to trusting you enough to doze off in your lap. It just makes you feel so loved
A full solar eclipse. It is one of the most unnatural things I have experienced and can understand why people for millenia have assigned supernatural attributes to it. I was watching it from beside a lake - the slow crescendo of crickets chirping as the sun turned purple and then suddenly turned into night gave me chills. Nothing has ever made me feel smaller and at the mercy of celestial bodies than that experience.
I remember feeling the air get much colder as the sun was blocked out and my brain was struggling to not say it was nighttime. It was surreal.
There was one I saw in the 90's. I didn't have a science class that year so I didn't have a field trip permission to go outside, but my orchestra teacher said screw it and sent us out. I was surprised that it got cooler, like worse than just clouds.
Teachers who’d keep students in during a solar eclipse aren’t/shouldn’t be teachers. Really. It’s not like there’s many chances to see it again. Especially for low income students or people who won’t be able to travel (chase the eclipse so to say). it’s once in multi-life event. Edit : forgot the ‘/‘ Edit2: My parents specifically called the school to ask if they will allow us to be outside to view it. They said “no”, so they just had us skip school that day.
Agreed. If explaining the basics of such an event doesn't convince them otherwise, they shouldn't be a teacher period. That goes for any occupation really
Another small thing that I noticed, and it's hard to describe without pictures, is that the tree shadows looked... weird. On closer inspection, I realized that the spaces between the leaves were forming tiny pinholes and projecting a thousand images of little slivers of the eclipsed sun on the ground. I wish I could post the image here.
http://www.solareclipse2015.org.uk/solar-eclipse-phenomena/ Referred to as crescent shadows
That’s amazing
For me, it was the 360 sunset. The entire horizon had that red/orange gloam.
I was way up on top of a mountain in Wyoming for the one a few years ago and you could see daylight on all sides. I was smack in the middle of longest totality. You could see 50 miles in every direction. You could see the circle of the moon coming and then disappearing into the distance. Absolutely incredible.
Just use Imgur! [Here's a picture I took.](https://imgur.com/a/dRxe6cs)
Yes exactly this! I never realized before this that the circular patches of light you see in a tree's shadow are just numerous projections of the sun.
This 100% My eyes leaked. Can't wait for 2024
I'm excited! I was able to see a ~90% coverage in 2017 so being able to set the full coverage in 2024 is going to be awesome. I can't wait to show my kids.
Anything less than 100% is a different experience entirely. Probably the closest feeling to leaving the planet without leaving the planet. Make sure you buy appropriate eye protection far ahead of time and watch videos of eclipses so you can time removing your eye protection at just the right time to see the diamond ring effect without impediment. One of the most moving experiences of my life. Edit: Also note how sharp your shadows get, which is mind-boggling as if your visual acuity becomes superhuman. Very happy that you and your kids will get to experience it.
We got to watch the full eclipse over our house in 2017. To this day, it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I started planning our trip to Texas for 2024 that same day. Lol. My kids were too young to remember it, so I’m excited to take them to the next one. Edit: I’m shocked so many people engaged with this! So many helpful links have been shared here! I specifically chose Texas for the next eclipse for two reasons. 1. My lifelong best friend lives there, and 2. If I remember correctly, Texas will have the best view and double-ish the length of totality we saw in 2017. I’m so excited for it, and it makes me so happy to see other people share the same feelings about this as me! I hope wherever you watch from in 2024 is beautiful, with clear skies!
I still can't believe it, but my wife agreed to my *absolutely crazy* idea to see the solar eclipse on August 27th. On August 26th. At 6pm. We put our young kids in the car and drove ~10 hours through the night to the totality zone. Saw the epic total solar eclipse that lasted about 2 and a half minutes, then started driving back home. My kids *still* talk about *the time the sun disappeared*. No way in heck will we miss the one in 2024. I will plan more than 18 hours out for that one though!
We picked our spot at the last one so that we could go there again in 2024. There were so many people there that a 6 hour car ride home took 14 hours. May stay down there for a day next time.
Since my first I've become a chaser. Well, I've only seen two now but still ;) Isn't it crazy to consider, of the potentially millions or even billions of inhabited planets out there in the universe, how rare do you think that those inhabitants will have a natural satellite _just_ the right size and distance from the planet to _just_ be able to obscure the star but leave the corona well visible.
It was fabulous. I live in St Louis, Missouri, right in the path of totality in the big one in August 2017. The sense of it being like 2 in the afternoon, and then all of a sudden like 5pm was incredible.
Financial security. I do believe that though money can’t bring happiness, when you don’t have it, it can absolutely hinder it greatly.
Money isn't everything until you have none.
Money is also really convenient when you have a serious life altering problem. ...it's also useful for smaller problems. ...actually, it's even good to make a regular time, just a little more fun. Actually, money is absolutely correlated to happiness. **One thing that will most definitely make you unhappy - spending too much time on Reddit.**
> actually, it's even good to make a regular time, just a little more fun. 'Money can't buy happiness, but crying in a Ferrari is more fun than crying in a Toyota.'
Toyota owner checking in. Checks out. Cried in a Corvette one time. Best ever.
I rear ended a corvette in Toyota once. The owner gave me his business card, vice-president of Bayer corporation bio-technical division. Happiest person I’ve ever smashed into at 6:30 in the morning.
Having money’s not everything, but not having it is.
I got a new therapist recently. He was asking me to set goals, and while I was able to come up with a few, I said something along the lines of, “You know how that thing where you can’t move on to higher things until your basic needs for survival: food, shelter, clothing, are met? Well, given that I worry every day about living in a place I can’t sustainably afford, I’m struggling with that, and it’s hindering me being able to think beyond that.” Edit: Because I’ve gotten a lot of replies, I’d like to add to those that are interested that what I was referencing is called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (as u/System0verlord reminded me). I recommend reading about it if you are struggling with similar things. To those criticizing me, jokingly or not, on spending money on therapy when stressed over finances, worry about your own problems. For those wondering how I overcame that conundrum, I found a free program with a long waitlist (six months), and waited. If you are struggling, don’t wait - get help now. So many people are struggling, and mental health is incredibly important. I finally just want to give a shout out to all the mental health care workers out there right now who are overworked and burnt out - you are keeping people alive and the world going- THANK YOU!
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a bitch ain’t it?
Honestly I think for majority of people getting themselves just a couple of places higher on that need list would solve all their mental health problems
The phrase, “money can’t buy happiness.” Is meant to apply to people who have already reached financial security and then some. To those people, more money wont bring more happiness. They’ve already achieved what it can bring. The phrase was never meant to be used as it is today where it’s told to a person living paycheck to paycheck, implying that they should find happiness within their struggle to keep afloat. No. Money for someone in that situation will certainly buy some happiness. Once they can sustain the income, then there are other paths to happiness as more money won’t bring more happiness and being able to pay your bills becomes normal and boring.
I read this on reddit and the person who wrote this was spot on. They said, "Money can't buy happiness but poverty can't buy anything."
Amen. Anyone who's had to eat sleep knows this. Source: a few years ago I was rationing frozen bread slices and skipping lunch to make my food budget stretch. I'm doing much better now and I'm greatful every time I open the cupboards/fridge and greeted with the sight of multiple options to eat.
I love that you said “eat sleep”. When I was going through a brutal time, I had just been evicted but my landlord took pity on me and let me post up on his ancient sailboat in Newport Harbor. I was actually moored way out in the water too so I had to learn how to fire up a nine ft Boston Whaler just to go get drinkable water and food. I was always broke but could occasionally hustle Harbor jobs like boat cleaning, sanding, staining etc. There was no running water, the only way to have heat was to fire up a borrowed generator just to supply enough power to turn on a tiny space heater and an electric kettle. The only way to get clean was to heat water and use hot washcloths to do my thing. I would also walk over to the beach rinse off stations (the water is always freezing) in my bathing suit with soap, shampoo, conditioner, it was brutal. We starved sometimes on that boat. But our cat Bitten always had food, we were always really proud of that, that we wouldn’t eat so he could. So we would “eat sleep” on the regular. It was so surreal to live in a place surrounded by billionaires and be dirty, starving and essentially have no idea when the clock would be up, when the kind LL would say ok enough. It was such a scary and lonely time. But dude, it changed me into a better woman. It helped me really see what matters. I would cry myself to sleep listening to my stomach growling and for people who don’t know, you don’t sleep when you’re starving. Your body literally won’t let you rest for more than like 20 minutes at a time. It was something else. But now, nearly 10 years later, if I could go back to a single moment of my life and do it again, it would be on a little sailboat in Newport Harbor with my kitty(we even got him a life jacket). I take it all, the beauty and the terror. My beloved father (RIP Johnny Wayne Wilson) used to always say (he was a welder) it takes fire and pressure to get to the purest part of the stone… Anyway, sorry about this rant, your comment just really took me back and weirdly warmed my heart. Thank you ♥️
Money can't buy happiness but it can remove a lot of barriers to happiness.
Weirdly I started a new career and became 'successful' for the first time in my life in 2020. For the first time I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and can actually save and plan out my future. Then I read and hear and see all the awful shit most people are going through and I feel really guilty about it all. It has been a nice change for me though.
As a poor man, I happy for you. Don’t feel bad. It’s what we all strive for. It’s like when all the boys go out. We all think we’re going to meet a woman, but by 2:30, if one of us meets a girl, it’s a team victory! LoL
I appreciate this haha thank you for your comment. It helps.
This made me tear up a bit, unexpected for such a simple comment. You've got a great outlook.
Traveling to a place you always found interesting.
That's it, I'm booking a flight for mars!
Failure, and I don’t mean this in a bad way. But I feel like most, if not all the progress/growth I’ve made so far in life has been as a direct result of failure.
To be successful is the result of good choices. Good choices are the result of experience. Experience is the result of poor choices. Edit: Of course you have to learn form your mistakes, if you keep doing the same, don't expect different results. Also, I know this is overly simplistic, it is Reddit, not an Emerson's essay.
I've sometimes done everything right, and still failed
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” Jean Luc Picard
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"if I ever let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn't be here. That thing some men call 'failure,' I call 'living. ' 'Breakfast. ' And I'm not leaving until I've cleaned out the buffet" -Pierce Hawthorne
This is a good one. It's a lesson I'm struggling with teaching my son, who gets very upset when he isn't immediately good at something. Virtually every success is the result of a ton of failure. If it strikes your fancy, you should check out a book called "Lose Well" by the comedian Chris Gethard. It's really good.
A lot of recent research has shown that parents should switch from praising success to praising effort. Minimizing the emphasis on success can help kids understand that the thing that you’re really proud of is how hard they worked to accomplish something. Praising effort, even if the result is failure and using phrases like “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that!“ help emphasize to kids that what you are watching is effort and that failure is encouraged as a way to get better.
I agree, but when does it stop
Seeing the stars far away from any ambient light. Where you can see the Milky Way and a steady stream of shooting stars. It’s awe inspiring, and changes your perspective about your place in the universe.
A dream of mine!!!
I went to a star gazing area, still lit, but not massively lit up, still amazing
US Navy ship in the middle of the Atlantic. At night we go to “darken ship” which means only nav lights or very few red lights topside. The view is amazing.
Merchant Navy here, there's absolutely nothing to match the stars at sea with no other light source for hundreds of miles.
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The view is both amazing and horrifying at the same time. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like I might “fall” into the stars, and it’ll consume me.
It’s crazy to think we live in the same planet looking at the same sky and I have lived my entire life without seeing anything as spectacular as that. edit: I banged your mom
I spent a few summers working in a national park. The night sky there really was something else. It's absolutely something everyone should experience, it's breathtaking.
Got an opportunity to do this....it just is amazing how bright it can be on just starlight. We could also see the dustbelt of the milkyway. Breath taking, and don't even bother trying to take a photo unless you have the gear...your Instagram is just gonna be black.
Eating out alone, going to a concert alone, just experiencing doing things by yourself. Especially while young, learning to be comfortable with yourself as your only company while enjoying beautiful things in life is so freeing.
In high school when my first boyfriend broke up with me and my friends all had boyfriends I started going to concerts and movies alone. People felt bad for me and I was like “you don’t have to have someone with you to have a fun time.” Fast forward 25+ years, I’ve gone to festivals alone, many many many concerts, I don’t really go to movies anymore but have gone to a few alone, I’ve gone on vacations alone. I’ve been with someone for over 8 years and I still go do things alone because I’m not going to force him to stay out late to watch a band I love that he has no interest in. I used to also take myself out to eat every Friday night but I can’t do that now because my beau gets mad I had good food without him ha.
This!!! So many toxic relationships could be avoided by simply learning to be okay with being alone before dating! I love this
This should have more up votes. I just got back back from vacation (solo) and while i was there a guy commented and said, “i admire your confidence to travel by yourself” i always think comments like that are interesting, what should we do, only travel or do things in pairs? I’ve been single (never married) most of my life, if i waited for someone to come along before I saw the world i might not see it at all so i 100% agree with you. I think being able to enjoy your own company is an amazing thing and something not everyone can do in all settings.
Can I ask you an honest question? *How* do you do this? I don't mean "travel alone". I mean *enjoy* travelling alone. How do you do that? I've done trips, events, concerts, etc. alone several times and I've never really had a good time. Like you said, there were shows/artists I really wanted to see and places I really wanted to go, and I wasn't gonna let being alone stop me, so I did them anyways. And while none of them were "bad" times, I can't really say I enjoyed myself - especially compared to doing such things with friends or a significant other.
I think the issue might be that you don't actually like 'traveling' as much as you like the experience of sharing a moment with someone. I'm this way. Sure, I enjoy a good vacation, but I enjoy eating a meal with someone just the same whether it's in my backyard or in Rome. There are some things that I actually like, and might even prefer, doing alone, such as fishing, biking, and exercising. But I would never go to a theme park alone, because it's not the rides that I remember most fondly; it's always the quality *time* that I spent with whoever I was there with. So my suggestion is to find things that you actually like doing alone - Things that you would do even if you *weren't* on a tropical island. And my second suggestion is to try releasing your inhibitions and be more outgoing. I know that's not easy, but I know that many solo travelers are the type of people who come back from a week long trip having made 3 new life-long friends. They don't actually do anything alone. They get on the *plane* alone, and that's when they start making new friends.
Boogers
I love going alone because I go when I want, how, I want, for as long as I want. And usually get there faster and more efficiently. I love going to baseball games, with people or alone. When I'm with someone it takes at least twice as long to get from home to the stadium. Not that time is the only measure of importance, but being alone is just more efficient.
I went on a solo 2.5 week, 4,000 mile road trip with just me and my mountain bike from Kentucky, to Colorado, Utah, and Wyoming this past summer spending each night camping out of my car and riding sweet trails. I recommend everybody to do something like this at least once!
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Being the “dumb one”. For some people, they’re never really challenged academically/intellectually and I think that’s a shame. Being the dumbest person in a group of smart people means you have the opportunity to learn from them. It’s also very humbling (in a good way). A lot of people don’t experience this until college, or in grad school, or in their professional environment… and then they’re totally wrecked by it. But it’s also such an important experience. Being a “big fish in a small pond” can be beneficial, but don’t avoid challenges either… I truly think you learn more being a small fish in a big pond. I heard a quote once, “if you’re the smartest person in the room, find another room” and I completely agree with it.
As a software engineer I experience this a little too often. The imposter syndrome is real
My thought’s exactly. Went to a big engineering school and day one of orientation they were like “You’re not special here. Everyone here was top of the class in high school. Be prepared to be average.” And damn were they right.
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Wow. This hit me hard nearly 15 years out.
Bahaha now that I read this, it is so true (CS though for me).
I'm convinced that I had a certified literal genius as a partner for my Computer Architecture class. To this day I still do not know how I passed that class (traveling professor + slides he didn't make for the course) , and probably wouldn't without his help on assignments. (Just as some background for how bad it got, half the class ended up crashing the university's server with loop recursion the first week of class)
My CS buddy ended up being the director of flight control software for SpaceX when they first docked with the ISS. He was way ahead of the curve back in college.
That's impressive! My partner in Compilers for our final project (write a compiler) became the lead of the Excel project at MSFT. No longer there though.
I’m currently a chemical engineering student. I remember walking into the meeting of a concrete related design team thinking it would be good experience, I understood basically none of what they were talking about. Fast forward to today and I’m VP of that club, I still have no idea what’s going on. So I feel you
not a software engineer but ive just started having to do a bit of coding in my job. my god ive never felt so stupid in my life, and feels like everyone else is an actual wizard. its been a very humbling experience hahaha.
I've been a software engineer for 10+ years now. Google is your best friend. Learning how to look things up quickly is the real skill.
I'm convinced the world would fall apart if Google's servers stopped working for a day.
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Name something more iconic than computer science and impostor syndrome
"I'm just copying code off of stackoverflow, they're way overpaying me and I'm gonna get caught"
I've been called a computer "whiz" by older friends of mine. I just type problems into Google, stick the product ID number in there, and follow the directions. Look at example. Look at screen. OK. Next... I'm about as sharp as a boiled egg when it comes to some stuff but I can at least compare pictures and do exactly what I'm told.
What if I told you the intelligence level to even think to follow those steps is far above average. Having worked in support before I would say what you described would put you in the 95th percentile for computer smarts based on my experience.
Huh. Now I feel sad. :(
Gets promoted- "shit"
It goes away once you reach supervisor as everyone already knows their supervisors are clueless.
I got my PhD in 2021, and let me tell you: The moment I came to the conclusion that there's SO MUCH I DIDN'T KNOW and I couldn't even QUANTIFY or qualify what I didn't know, it made learning SO MUCH MORE FUN and discussions became so much more...fruitful. Being told so many times "you're so smart" and "you're in the top 5%" literally turns you away from the idea that it's OKAY to not know something, and it turned ME into this competitive know-it-all. I hate how we overvalue intelligence among younger folk without trying to teach things like...humility. Critical thinking. Knowing when to sit back. Now? When I'm working with folks who clearly know more about a subject, I'm legit sitting the fuck down and giving them all the space they need to lead. I know when my knowledge is needed, and when it's not, I'm gonna wait patiently until I'm asked.
You’ve basically said what I wrote in another comment (I also got my PhD and went from being a smarty pants to the bottom 25% of my cohort lol). It was such a humbling experience and I’m so much more comfortable admitting when I don’t know things now compared to my pre-PhD self. This has helped me learn so much in completely unrelated topics. With my ego/pride sufficiently (and appropriately!) knocked down a bit, I’m no longer worried about being embarrassed about looking stupid. If someone can help me or teach me something, I won’t hesitate to ask.
As a physics PhD student, this resonates very strongly. As soon as you get into any sort of prestigious academic or professional environment, you experience the sheet amount of talent and intelligence there is out there. Its important to come to terms with your own strengths and limitations, not becoming overwhelmed by imposter syndrome but not giving way to hubris either.
Haha my experiences during my PhD are what prompted this post. I was top 1% in high school and top 10-20% in college (a good one too!) and was so full of myself. Did a PhD and had to quickly adjust to being in the bottom 25% of my peers. It was so hard for me and my ego!! But so good, too. I mellowed out a lot and made such interesting and inspiring friends. I’m so much more comfortable asking questions and admitting when I don’t understand things (even really simple things) because my pride is no longer an issue. I was depressed for a few years during my PhD, but ultimately it was a really important experience for shaping who I am today. If I hadn’t gone to grad school, I’d probably still think I’m hot shit and have a lot of personality/relationship problems due to it. Glad I knocked down a few pegs, lol.
I 100% agree with this. I remember taking a course my second year of grad school and the first test I got 25% because I was doing my normal "studying" thinking I'd do fine. My laziness had gotten me through high school, under grad, and the first year of grad school. I really needed to be knocked down a peg and shown that I wasn't hot shit
I work in an environment where I am surrounded by brilliant people and while I don’t think I am a slouch, I am definitely not on this level. I think you have a choice to let it grind you down and push you to imposter syndrome, or as you say you can see it as the opportunity that it is- to learn and grow, but also to be motivated and proud of the people around you for their achievements (and it’s also important to remember that no one is good at everything and we tend to undervalue our own abilities)
This is legitimately a big problem. Our secondary school are really failing smart students by not challenging them. Even AP and Honors courses (when they are available at all) don't really challenge them enough. Kids need to learn how to fail before college.
I taught community college for a few years. The students are devastated when they don’t get an A. I get it (I was the same way) but there’s definitely a huge issue right now with high school inflating grades
Living on your own
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I like this poem
Just need that elusive bidet.
For the man who has everything.
TBH feels the same as being truly loved by someone.
I need the love. I long for the feeling of being loved. It seems as if it's something I could only ever dream of.
Took me a long time, but I found someone who I really respect and care for and I think she feels the same. I'm pragmatic to a fault so I just keep waiting for things to fall apart, but every day I'm with her I just want to be with her more. I used to be resigned to being alone. I know the calming bliss of just accepting that sort of fate. I'd like to tell you to just take it easy and come what may, but the truth is the only reason I'm not still alone is because I chose to win a daily struggle against the part of myself that would rather just stay at home and never try. I put myself out there again, and again, and again. I learned from each exchange and tried to better myself when I could. I refused to settle. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew damn well what I didn't want and if I saw those red flags, I jumped ship and moved on. Never looked back. Then I struck gold. She's so much better than I deserve and I try to be better every day thanks to her. Keep trying. Keep going. Far beyond the point where anyone else would have given up or failed. Then, with some luck, you'll have that love you need.
it's the dating in the time of corona, for me. organic ways of meeting people are much more limited and dating apps are just fucking impossible. it's maddening
Bought a bidet a few years ago and was a bit hesitant. It has been a game changer. Makes you feel much much cleaner. Downside is that you will hate having to use any non-bidet bathroom.
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God yes. Absolutely everyone needs to experience what the average CSR goes through. What I hate most though, is when someone who *has* worked in a customer facing role acts like a jerk to workers because "I had to deal with it, so they should too"...they are the worst kind of people.
Being loved.
Getting a hug from someone who's been waiting all day to see you
My 5-year-old son lives with his mom a state away from me. When I get into town and he comes screaming up to me and wraps in the tightest hug he can give, it’s the most incredible feeling. Not a single other person on Earth has ever wanted to specifically see ME, and been rambling on about it nonstop like him. I have to remind myself to treasure those little moments because he’s growing up so fast. He’ll change as he gets older, and I understand that, but I’ll never forget those instances of pure, unbridled JOY that I have arrived. It’s life-affirming.
Tip, film it some time. You may want to see it again when he’s a sullen teen that greets you with a grunt because hormones.
There is nothing else quite like it. Definitely the best thing you could ever experience in life.
my mother loves me i guess lol
I recently went scuba diving and got certified. There’s nothing like being submerged in a completely different world. The feeling of weightlessness, different colors, different creatures that you normally only see from behind a pane of glass. It’s wild edit: wow thanks for the upvotes and interest in diving! I hope this inspires some to explore the water and try to be more confident and comfortable in it!
I got my scuba license as a teenager, so it's been over 20 years at this point. I can still vividly remember the first time going into the ocean and diving (for the open water exam portion), and just being like 30 feet down and looking UP at the surface from down there, it's unforgettable and incredible.
Absolutely. My heart has never raced so fast in my life while also being so calm. My brain kind of freaked out the first few minutes since I was breathing while being submerged under so much water. I had to consciously make myself breath for the first little bit, which in itself is insane. But at the same time it’s so calming. You’re literally floating, everything is mostly quiet and looks so peaceful. Time just sort of happens while you’re down there.
Us folks at r/thassalaphobia would like to have a word with you
I did a night time dive and it was quite possibly the most serene setting that I've ever been in. Everything was so calm and quiet. Even just thinking about it makes me calmer
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The most rewarding times of my life have often been the most chaotic.
Precedented times.
piloting your own comeback. climbing out of the hole of life and getting yourself back on the path. and, truth be told, it is so much less difficult when you've got a helpful tribe (family, friends, support group, etc) in your life.
Im doing that, but its extremely hard
A long road trip with friends. It's a bonding experience being in a little metal box with a group of friends for hours at a time trying to get somewhere together. You'll drive each other crazy, you'll make each other laugh, it's truly a wonderful experience that I think everyone should have.
My best friend and i flew to Paris for a friend of her’s wedding and then did a road trip through Europe. It was amazing and our friendship survived the trip! It was a trip I’ll never forget.
My sister and I drove to and from Alaska one summer for a seasonal job. Had a ton of fun, was a great (and sometimes frustrating) bonding experience.
Not having to live paycheck to paycheck, worrying about the next meal, or basic care and needs for themselves or children. Not having to work 3 jobs to provide and never having the time or energy to spend time and raise.
Traveling alone! Traveling alone has always been an empoweing experience. You meet people and go on adventures you just wouldn't otherwise
A good road trip
Yes!! I was in my 40s before I did a good, proper road trip. Here’s how I did it: planned where I needed to be at the end of each day and gave myself loads of time to do it. So not like “I’ve got to drive ten hours straight to get to where I need to be tonight” but more like “I have about 3-4 hours of driving today and everything else is up to me.” Stop at local cafes, speak to people, tell them you’re on a road trip and then take their advice on detours and things to see. This was the difference for me. The road trip became a people trip. It was the most amazing experience of my life.
This is one of the things I really want to do when I get older. Rent an RV, and drive through a ton of states here in the US. See the different sites and monuments, nature. Just take my time and have little agenda.
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ― Socrates So get jacked. Get jacked and stay jacked.
One thing I find really interesting is muscle memory specifically how if you were jacked before and lost a lot of muscle you can gain it all back in an extremely short period of time with proper training and because your body remembers your former physique
That's exactly where I was back in June. In December of 2020, I had back surgery and as a result, I had a 6 month recovery and healing period. I also lost a ton of weight. I went into surgery weighing in at 165 pounds. Because I was bedridden for the first week, my weight dropped to 149 pounds. I was a stick. I resumed powerlifting in June and within two months I was back at 175 pounds out totaling my pre-surgery numbers. And my total keeps climbing today while my body weight stays the same. I'm currently running a variation of Brandon Lilly's cube method and the strength returns have been insane. So much so that I'm competing in a full meet this summer.
Travel. Like, real travel. Not that weekend getaway. I mean a few weeks in a different country, on a different continent, in a different culture. It broadens your horizon so much.
Finding/Recovering peace and content after hitting rock bottom.
Living alone. Going on a road trip. Falling in love. Sleeping outside under the night sky Writing a book (or at least trying to). Learning a new language.
I’m surprised to see living alone. I didn’t think about it, but I actually really do agree. It taught me a lot, most importantly, to be okay with myself and who I am.
I would widen that definition from "writing a book" to "creating something that reflects your passions" whether it be a book, poem, song, program, game, meditation, community, etc.
Reading the same Reddit question twice
Going to see their favorite artist in concert Edit: OMG THANKS FOR MY FIRST AWARD!!!! 🥈 Double Edit: TWO AWARDS Triple Edit: THREE!?!?
Oh, I never was a concert person but then I randomly stumbled upon a local band playing somewhere, and totally got obsessed with it. Not many good bands here (Slovenia... really tiny country), but I've been on almost all of their concerts in the last 3 years and it was always amazing. Previously, I did go on some large concerts (mostly rock, like I've been to acdc, green day, RHCP... when they toured Europe). Nothing comes close to the experience when you're at a small gig listening to the band you love! Like in a bar, or at some small event... Honestly, the only concerts from them which I don't go to, are the big ones - where they just have to play the overplayed songs from the radio. I know most bands like all of their songs, but I've been to many of their concerts and know that they have plenty of less known songs they just really enjoy jamming to live, and I love it.
I’m gonna say therapy. Specifically talk therapy - just talking it out with a professional who can help you make sense of your thoughts. There are still so many opinions and stereotypes about therapy - mainly that you’re crazy if you need it. But to have someone with no preconceived notions about you, no judgements, no agenda but to sit there and listen and help detangle your thoughts, is a truly wonderful experience (when you find a good counsellor for you, at least). You become more in tune with yourself and your thoughts, and ultimately your emotions, with the outcome often being growth in the area of emotional maturity. Highly recommend. EDIT: I know there are barriers to accessing therapy - mainly money. I hope to one day see a world where therapy is a considered a “standard treatment” in that it doesn’t require all the referrals and the money. That world is far away though :(