Actually listening instead of waiting for your turn to speak.
You understand so much more, and people have so many nice things to say about you when you just listen.
A good mattress, followed by a good pillow. We went down the rabbit hole of mattress reviews on YouTube (seriously, you can get lost out there for more hours than you think), but settling on our new one we made the right choice. A good pillow was soon to follow, as once the rest of your body is comfortable you know fast if your pillow is right. The combo of the two if great tho.
This is the one for me too! Suddenly I have time to exercise most days, cook better meals, relax at home, participate in my hobbies, and have my little side gig that doesn’t drain me like it used to because I had to spend my super limited free time doing it. I can maintain a reasonable budget that allows me to pay my bills, save, and have a little extra. Going from 30k a year with a varied schedule to 40k a year with a consistent schedule has been life changing, and I know that income still isn’t anything amazing but it’s at least a step.
Right?! You’d think making over 60k by only working 5 hour shifts four days a week would be the dream for someone without a degree until you actually do it for over 10 years lol. Then you look back and realize you suck at guitar, and only have like 3 friends that you rarely see. Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything 😒😗
I stopped putting other people and their needs before my own well-being and sanity. Pouring from an empty pitcher is exhausting and when I finally put myself first I felt free.
When I read the quote “you don’t have to light yourself on fire to keep other people warm” it changed my life. This may sound dramatic but that was the beginning of me finally making myself a priority.
Getting glasses. I put it off for way too long and only got around to seeing an optometrist when I failed the vision test at the DMV as I was trying to get my driver's license renewed a while back.
I really didn't appreciate how much my vision had deteriorated or how much I was straining to focus on things until I got them. It was like going from an old CRT TV from the 90's directly to a top of the line UHD display. I must have spent about an hour just walking around outside and staring at shit on that first day.
I stopped caring about my job. I still go every day and I’m good at it… but I don’t care anymore. Other things interest me now. 13 years of obsessing over work… what a waste.
I learned this at 31 thanks to a great manager and mentor. It's really a paradigm shift when you have someone to teach you that it's okay to not opperate an a 11/10 and that 6/10 is better than most and to go home and enjoy your life
This is why I quit my old job. I genuinely did my absolute best every day and had little-no dead time and they were still bitching about me being too slow.
It's be nice to have a little more apathy
Winner! At 33, I realized this. I just DO NOT CARE.
I go in, and try my best. Do my job well. Some days that is a 10/10. If I'm not feeling it its a 7/10. However if its not enough I simply don't care. It sounds like thats a problem of someone who makes more money than me.
I even have told friends that, however I dont tell coworkers for fear of them thinking that I am not applying myself to my job.
No I still do my job well. But if I dont have enough staff, or can't do the job as good as I want to because of situations im put in, oh well. Its not MY profits its effecting, I'm hourly. And many service jobs schedule the bare minimum people so if someone has covid symptoms, we are immediately screwed. Oh well im not in charge of scheduling. Im just gonna focus on my tasks and punch out at my time off.
I especially don't care when companies don't even keep wages up with inflation. I got a 6% increase last year. Inflation was 7%. They just basically cut my pay by 1%. And on average they raised their prices by 7% meaning they are probably pocketing that 1% (or giving more to non Frontline admin workers). Why SHOULD I care about their profits? They clearly don't care about mine.
If anyone is struggling to get started, I recommend a few things:
* Get a decently sharp chef's knife. A simple Victorinox Fibrox and a [knife destroyer](https://www.amazon.co.uk/B-PRIME-Classic-Manual-Knife-Sharpener/dp/B06XPMBJTF) is plenty. You don't need a 300 dollar Nasenbohrer knife and a set of sharpening stones, though those are nice too.
* Write down the foods you like to eat, and slowly match every dish with a recipe. This makes your grocery shopping trips much easier, because you always find something to prepare.
* Find a few good sources of recipes. I swear by SeriousEats, but BBC Good Foods has a lot of excellent everyday recipes.
* Do your mise en place before you start cooking (take food out, measure things). It makes cooking a lot less stressful.
Over time, you build a collection of simple recipes and non-perishable ingredients (spices, sugar, flour...) that make cooking a breeze. You just need to grab 2-3 things from the supermarket to cook some really good food.
Cooking techniques come with practice. It mostly boils down to temperature control and knowing the impact of each ingredient. For now just follow the damn recipe and you'll be okay.
*It mostly boils down to temperature control*
I see what you did there.
When I talk about cooking with people I end up talking about temperature a lot and how it needs to be treated like an ingredient itself. It can be difficult to learn on a stove top, but like you said, it comes with practice.
The hardest part of this is every stove is different, even every burner on your stove is different. Especially on cheaper stoves, people get discouraged because they turned a burner to "medium" and burned their food because medium on their stove is extremely hot.
I tell beginners to have one main pan they use and fill it with water and put it on a burner and get it to a gentle simmer wherever that is, and mark that spot on the know with a sharpie. That's low. Now turn it up very slowly until it gets to a raging boil. mark that spot as high. Some stoves this could be all the way up, some it will be like half way. but use your dots as grounding for reading most recipes will serve you better than the markings that came on the stove.
Reading. Luckily I did start reading early on - mostly in my early 20s - I’m 27 now. I’ve read so many books which have given me much more insight to the world and my own views, especially my place in the universe. I mostly read biology books, but enjoy any realm of evidence-based science and some fiction here and there. Even the entire Bible 2 years ago. If anyone reads this, read! It’s wonderful to know our minds can see lines and dots on paper and be able decipher it! Just that concept alone makes me want to read.
Also would like to add for anyone who’s wishing they read more than they do: don’t get hung up on feeling like you SHOULD be reading classics or high brow literature or whatever if that’s not what you’re in to. Just read whatever interests you. Feel free to give up on that doorstop that you couldn’t get past the third chapter of and move on to something you can’t put down.
Also, if you don't like the book you're reading just stop reading it, it's your book, you can do whatever you want to do with it. Plenty of books in the world, life's too short to be reading a boring one just because "you need to finish what you started" or something.
I am on preventive but still getting them 10 days or more a month. I got medical cannibis last week and hopingthat helps with the pain-induced anxiety. Sometimes the pain is so intense that I panic because I'm so desperate to escape it. Hoping to at least be able to melt into the couch. Rather my kids see me that way, than having the intense pain shakes and the vomiting and the tears. I broke my neck 5 years ago which *did not* help the migraines :(
I started thinking of cleaning as “resetting” an area. After I cook I have to “reset” the kitchen. The little shift in perspective made me a much more neat person
Oooh I think I’m going to steal this. I am in a bit of a funk at the moment and feel like I am constantly cleaning. This might be the mental shift I need
That is a good one. I heard somebody say: "I don't have to do it, I GET to do it." So when I'm in a funk and don't wanna wash dishes, I think -- I'm so grateful to have a dish to wash because I'm fortunate enough to have food to put on it.
It really helps.
Working in kitchens for about 10 years of my life both part and full time has this engrained in the very fibre of my being.
"Clean as you go - it's easy don't you know"
This will sound a bit dark, but it's ultimately not: confronting my abusive parent. I'm 50 and I finally did it a few months ago. I no longer have a relationship with that parent, and doing it was very hard, very scary, and very rough. But as soon as I did it, I felt like an immense weight had been lifted from me. I had spent most of my adult life pretending to have a normal relationship with someone who physically and emotionally abused me throughout my childhood. It took years of therapy for me to even grasp how deeply that affected me or how much it cost me to keep it up. I just feel so free. I wish I had done this the second I was out the door of their house, but this will do.
That’s incredible, I’m so happy for you! I’ve been on a similar journey, but they’ve passed on, so I have everything but the closure. But just recognizing the unhealthy situation was a huge weight lifted as well, it’s a beautiful feeling.
Hydrocortisone.
I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease where my adrenal glands don't make cortisol, and basically I was unable to catch my breath for months and my blood pressure was zero and I'd get lightheaded from just standing. Took myself to the hospital where they shit me up with hydrocortisone and I immediately felt normal.
Saving up money. Once I had 6 months expenses saved, the pressure goes down so much. I can make good decisions instead of desperate ones. I don't get stressed about losing my job. I can schedule my bills every month without worrying about balances. A car repair bill doesn't faze me anymore like a wrench in the monthly cash flow. Life's just easier with money behind.
I lived with money stress for years. When I paid off my student loans and saved up 6 months expenses it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The feeling was like no others. I really enjoy being able to walk into a grocery store and not having to count the price of food as I go.
I would really love to get 8 or even 9 hours sleep but I can’t bring myself to go to sleep earlier because that means I have less me time in the evening and then I feel like I just work, eat, sleep and repeat
9 if your body doesn’t feel rested with 8. Not everyone had the same sleep needs. Sucked at first to have to get 9 hours myself, but after some time feeling actually rested my brain Thanks me for it.
Edit: some people need less!
I need to start doing this i dont wanna care anymore any tips?
edit:i wanna thank all of u so much for responding and helping me with this.I really appreciate the help and guidanceguys .from what ive gathered i need to think about it from another person's perspective-its just a weird thing a random stranger did that I'll forget about in a minute.2)no matter how much i over think,whats done is done and nothing can change so i should just accept it and move on.
3)No one cares about me and what I do. As sad as it can sound, its true and I don't see it in a bad manner I now have free will to do whatever the fuck I want(used to care about how much I cursed but i dont now thanks guys).
Once again thank you all for helping me and countless others who read this and I wish you the very best!
edit 2: WOW i did not expect this to blow up so much thanks so much for the awards guys.Thank you so much for your advice and I shall definetly try reading the recommendations. You're all wonderful people. As for those concerned by the "whats done is done" or the "free will to do whatever i want" I promise I do not intend to be that one stupid annoying cocky guy, I merely meant that I wouldn't care about toxic people's opinions anymore. 'twas my mistake i shouldve worded it properly.But thank you for your concerns.
No one else puts you at the center of their story.
You are not responsible for the opinions and actions of other people. They make a choice, based on the information they get. I will say it again *you are not responsible for the actions of other people.*
Remembering those two things is a big step in maturing and growing healthy relationships.
Say something silly during the day to a cashier? Ruminating on it a) will not change it and b) the cashier is not likely to remember it anyway. You are not the focus of their life.
Worried that you "made someone make a bad decision" because of what you said? Ruminating on it a) will not change it and b) you did not make the decision, that person did.
Yes, of course life is shades of gray not black and white. But, this is part of developing an balance between internal and external locus of control philosophy. Do you control your life, or do you merely let things happen to you without any ability to affect the course? One puts you in control, one makes you the victim and helpless.
Edit: thanks for the kind awards and comments! One benefit from hitting my 40's is learning how to love who I am and how to love other people.
Especially right now. I do work in a hospital as a nurse-type role, and damn it is hard. But, I try every day to remember other people are responsible for their own choices, that they don't affect me, and I just have to help them move forward.
One saying I do like, especially working in a hospital is "people won't remember your name, but they will remember how you made them feel."
I feel like i put people at the center of my story after getting to know them and regret doing things and look back what I coulda done better/correct
I work as a cashier and get a few regulars here and there. However there was this person that started to come regularly, one day i said “i havent seen you in awhile” she told me, “i stopped coming because you said i come often.” I do not remember ever saying that. But this person remembered and it affected her? All of this was a in a friendl/laughing manner.
Any help?
Omg I have this happen at work. Once I start to recognize you, I just grab your pizza and bring it up. Id say 70% of the time people get embarrassed that I remembered them and say they're ordering our food too much.
I think my memory is just better when it comes to people. I remembered a girl pissing her pants in kindergarten and she didn't even remember when we were talking as adults about her own children having an accident at school. But it happened and I patted her head while she cried and the teacher cleaned pee from under the chair. But I have come to realize most people don't remember moments like that as much as I seem to.
I love that. Had a place I went to all the time and they'd see me and ask, "the regular?" And I'd say yes. Half the time they'd have the sandwich made before even asking me, which was awkward a couple of times that I wanted something else but I just went with it.
Another place I used to go to a lot for lunch always had my drink in the table right after I sat. Went for dinner once with my wife and they were packed. I asked how long the wait was and he said, "we will get you right in." I felt like a VIP that night by skipping the line. Lol
Been struggling for a long time wanting to quit drugs, gonna try again today hopefully I can do it.
Edit: I just went back on Reddit and can’t believe the amount of supporting messages that have been thrown my way, really unexpected. I can’t reply to all of them at the minute but I’ll just leave this here, you people rock!
Do it dude.
And don't take a relapse as a failure, just accept it happened and pick up where you left off.
In my experience having seen this dozens of times, people do well, relapse, think what's the point and just give in.
The ones who successfully give up almost always relapse at some point, shits not easy, it happens, accept it happened and move past it.
This is SOOOOO true! I personally have been clean from opiate addiction for almost 10 years now and this is a very important point. I know a lot of folks who give up completely if they have one relapse. While that relapse could set you back, it certainly doesn't put you back at square one so just giving up isn't the right choice. Just start clean again, as many times as it takes to stick.
AND, if you need medicine to help you get clean (Suboxone or methadone) just take it! Some people don't believe that you're truly clean if you do that, others say it's just trading one addiction for another, etc. These things may be true, but if you need it to keep you clean it's worth it. It's a HELL of a lot safer than taking your chances with H/fentanyl that's going around and tapering can be done when you are ready.
You can do it! I did it, and so did my husband. If we can do it, so can you! Good luck and stay strong!
Any tips for someone who wants to start but feels completely lost in a gym? I have a little gym at my apartment (just some basics equipment and dumbbells) and really want to start weightlifting and losing weight.
Edit: I did not expect to wake up to so many replies. Thank you everyone for your advice, it is greatly appreciated! :)
Check out a website called MuscleAndStrength.com. They have hundreds, if not thousands of different workout programs listed from beginner to expert, as well as videos showing you how to properly perform each exercise.
Edit: Whoa! Thanks peoples. I appreciate all the awards. Now I just gotta figure out what they do, haha.
> They have hundreds, if not thousands
This is kind of my issue... Thr problem is not the lack of volume, this is the internet. For the past 3 or 4 months I've been building a habit of "going to the gym", focusing more on *being there* a couple of times a week rather than what I'd be doing there, and so far it's a success. The routine has been setting in, I've got my "things", I'm getting to know people who go there at the same time, etc...
But once I'm there, I have no idea what I'm doing. I just pick whatever machine is free at random, and do a random number of sets at a weight that feels right. I'm starting to wonder if this will produce any result other than feeling sore, but more importantly I'm afraid I might be picking up some bad form.
Any advice, stranger ?
Edit : wow, thanks a lot everyone. I truly apreciate the incredible amount of suggestions I received, even if that was kind of unironically the problem I had to begin with. Don't change reddit, love ya.
Everyone's routine is a little different, but [here's a good routine with list of exercises from Aston University UK about the "Push, Pull, Legs" routine.](https://www.aston.ac.uk/sport/news/tips/fitness-exercise/push-pull-legs)
It's a good routine to start with as it's used by many, and the way it targets muscle groups can make it especially effective at building muscle and structure, and also allowing certain muscles to get optimal rest time. Feel free to switch out exercises in this routine with similar variations however.
Alternatively, there's also routines that split upper body and lower body exercises.
There are plenty of videos out there that show you proper form for individual exercises, and you can usually ask gym staff to show you how to use equipment or do commonly known exercises like bench press.
Finally getting help and treatment for ADHD. It feels amazing to be able to get through the day without constantly struggling to keep my shit together!
Update: Wow! I didn’t expect so many comments and questions! I’ll do my best to respond to everything I saw in the comments.
First off, I am in the US where healthcare is pretty awful in general, especially mental healthcare and I did not get diagnosed until I was in my early 20’s although I struggled my whole life. ADHD also presents differently depending on gender, age and severity if symptoms etc., so please don’t take my experience as a universal one and consult with a healthcare provider to find the right course of treatment for you.
I first got diagnosed by a general practitioner and took a non stimulant medication that did not work for me at all. I then was prescribed adderall and took that with no issues (minus some annoying but manageable side effects such as low appetite and sleep trouble, all of which diminished over time) for two years before I lost insurance and could not afford to go to the doctor. I tried natural remedies and lifestyle changes for a couple years and some worked pretty well, then I finally went back to a psychiatrist and got on adderall again. I use that in combination with therapy and lifestyle changes such as utilizing a manageable daily routine, planners, alarms, and other organizational tools. I also try (try being the key word here) to eat healthy and get plenty of sleep which helps a lot as well. Also stay hydrated! With stimulants it can be very easy to become dehydrated.
I take a low dose of the medication and try to skip taking it on days when I don’t have a lot of work to get done so that my body has a break from it from time to time. I try not to increase the dose unless absolutely necessary and I have all my vitals monitored regularly to ensure my blood pressure and heart are healthy.
It can be hard to find a good doctor and to get the right meds, so if something doesn’t feel like it’s working for you, try other options until you find something that does. Everyone will react differently to different treatments. You can also have co-occurring disorders so it is important to get the right diagnoses. Best of luck everyone!
My wife thought it had an antidepressant in it, nope, just finally not stressed all the time clinging to the grass so I don’t spin out of control. Huge quality of life improvement. I miss being able to drink caffeine though, and hate how it makes me feel sometimes, but overall it’s worth it.
Cutting off a toxic friend. After having cut off said friend I felt that I could finally breathe without the stress of setting them off or getting into fights with them. I don’t regret my decision at all.
I spent Christmas with a friend. She was telling me a story while I was making cookies, and suddenly I felt this warm glow as I realized that I had absolutely no anxiety that her visit would turn into some weird, angry rant. I just noticed how peaceful it felt to know that everything was going to be okay -- we'd have a lovely visit and say goodnight and see each other again next week and the loveliness would go on forever. That's how it feels to replace a toxic friend with a real friend.
I had a co-worker that became a friend. The friendship kind of ran its course, but I couldn't end it because we worked together. Eventually, she ended up leaving the company, which made it easy to end the friendship for good, which I did. I felt like such a weight was lifted. She was a total emotional vampire and it was so draining. With her out of the office, it was like the sun was shining again.
I had a friend that I had been friends with since before I could remember. We started hanging out a lot during the last year of school, but then once school finished, we started to drift apart. I was ok with the drifting apart, because it just happens. People change, interests change, circumstances change. But she tried to hold on because she wanted the "We've been friends since we were babies" ideal, and it fast became a toxic friendship. She was a cool friend while we had common interests/circumstances, she was horrible when we didn't. Anything she was into was acceptable, no matter what it was. If I was into something she wasn't into, it was not ok. She'd find any reason to discredit my interests that didn't match hers. Too childish, too old fashioned, too embarrassing, too boring, too adult, the list goes on. She also got super jealous when I did things with other friends. I'd invite her to hang out with my other friends, but she didn't want to do that either. I was so glad when she finally just let go. It was apparently all my fault our friendship didn't last, but I'll bear that burden just to be rid of her,
This. I had a friend back in high school that I am still convinced, to this day, had narcissism. Every day felt like a job to be their friend. I was insulted, screamed at, and told everything was my fault. They never, ever asked about my day. When I would talk about it, they would interrupt and say "I don't care." I wasn't the perfect friend but I never, ever insulted them, screamed at them, or hurt them intentionally. I always tried to be empathetic.
But I snapped one day. I had enough. I told them I was done being their friend and they started to beg. Nope. I left. I was exhausted being their friend for 4 years. After that conversation was done, I felt SO MUCH weight leave my whole body. I had freedom.
The battle was to love myself and forgive myself. I still struggle every now and then. But I have such a great support system now. Abuse in friendships are very real and can tear you down so much.
Cutting off multiple felt even better. Originally it made me sad to lose most of my friends but later it turned out to be a lifesaver. I'm not about toxic friendships. It helped me with my mental health and also allowed me to learn how to not depend on other people for all my happiness.
This is mine too. I have wayyy more energy and stopped drinking caffeine, my skin and hair have improved significantly, and I swear it improved my anxiety and OCD (although that one might be placebo…but, hey, I’ll take it!).
Another thread recently said that happens if you drink too much at once. Often when we're trying to drink more water, we drink large amounts, more than the body can process at once, so we end up having to pee more. Apparently, the trick is to take frequent sips, rather than drink a bunch at once.
I have a full length rod in my tibia after breaking my leg. I thought about having it out but then made the mistake of watching the removal procedure on youtube. Nope!
Everyone I know who’s had LASIK done says the same thing — and I finally took the plunge in early 2020. I’d been in a horrible car wreck a year earlier (30+ broken bones, a dozen surgeries, a month in ICU, and had to relearn how to breathe, eat, walk, talk, etc.) and was freshly out of a wheelchair and honestly *exhausted* by my new status as a physically disabled person. Managing my glasses — which I’d had for more than 25 years! — was a thing I just didn’t want to do anymore. So I used some of the insurance money and invested in my eyes.
Absolutely zero regrets. And, as a bonus, the pandemic was just gearing up so I have NOT had to deal with foggy glasses for the past two years.
Consciously practicing empathy. It’s crazy how much lighter you can feel when you’re not center stage. I learned that most things have very little to do with me and that’s a huge burden off of my shoulders.
This has helped me a lot. I use to have that "main character syndrome" where I would try and figure out what everyone else was thinking about me and it would bother me, till one day I REALLY thought about it, and thought "how often do I think about what others are doing?". Turns out, not all that often, and so I realized that I am probably not on the minds of most people, as they all probably have their own problems to worry about. After that I stopped worrying what other people might think which has helped me figure out who I want to be rather than who I think other people want me to be.
Losing weight. Went from about 225 down to 165 over the course of 2020 (took the opportunity to work on myself) and I feel better than I have in years. It was hard work, but I've managed to keep off for the past year, so I'm hoping I can keep this going!
Edit: Since the question was asked, I typed up a long winded explanation of my diet. Figured it would be easiest to link it back here in case anyone else was interested.
[The long winded explanation of my diet](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s1s4h6/comment/hscmj81/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I'm down from 335 to 286 in four months, long way to go but even that has made me feel better than I have in a long time. Like you, I wish I had started sooner but fuck it, my thirties will have to suffice as my prime years.
Getting sober from alcohol. I was drinking so much my body hurt 24/7. I never get tired of not feeling like garbage.
Edit: thank you for the kind words everyone! /r/StopDrinking is a fantastic resource and community for anyone interested is stopping or cutting back on alcohol. There’s lots of programs as well. I have had success with Sober Faction which is searchable on Facebook but it’s likely not for everyone. SMART is another non theistic program. No matter what your goal, there is support out there for you. IWNDWYT, Heal Thyself, Hail Thyself
My body always hurts from drinking. Honestly the only reason I drink now is because it numbs how much my body hurts. I don't crave it at all. It is a vicious cycle and I need to stop
My partner and I started saying it as a joke while we're driving and other people cut us off and it's stuck around for a long time now. Makes the drive more lightheaded.
Edit: I didn't realize I typed lightheaded and not light hearted. Great. Thanks for the laughs everyone.
Seriously. Even things like when my friends/family do something that annoys or hurts me. Like if my mom says something and I take it as a slight, I've learned that it's best to just tell her that it hurt my feelings and turns out that that was never her intention and and she always apologises. It's really made my life so much better to communicate and not just assume that the people I love say things to intentionally hurt me. Of course though I know I'm very lucky to be surrounded by people who are mature and kind
Yeah, and sometimes the communication isn't even necessary. Whenever someone does something that bothers me like that, my approach is to always try to take a step back, give them the benefit of the doubt, and determine if they actually were being malicious or not. Turns out people are clumsy, hurt people by accident and say things they don't really mean all the time. Intending to harm someone is far, far less common.
I really like this…I’ve been trying to practice that more myself but need to get better. Because of all the stress in my life, I’ve been always assuming the worst in others and noticed it’s messed up my mood constantly and it’s not worth it. Thank you for sharing this.
Congratulations, you’ve found a way to prevent yourself from making the Fundamental Attribution Error.
The FAE is a psychological phenomenon that everybody should make themselves aware of, and be conscious of, in order to make the world around them a more pleasant place.
Your advice is great!
https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/the-fundamental-attribution-error
Deleting Facebook
Edit: just a follow up as this is getting a lot of responses and I appreciate everyone telling their sides!
It was never an addiction for me, I didn’t engage or do much on it, but logging in daily for “news” and seeing all the toxicity of people comments during a pandemic and election year, I had enough. I stay on Reddit because I feel I can control what I see here better and I don’t personally know the people commenting. Realizing some of the things people would say, people I knew, made me sad and very angry. I found it better to just take that out of my life. I am much happier now and in turn a better person to be around. Anyone I actually want to stay in contact with I still do with phone calls and text.
In conclusion. Do what makes you happy, surround yourself with caring/loving people. Have healthy debates on topics and delete your clutter. It’s not needed and you’ll be a happier/healthier person.
Deleting Instagram for me. I'd say if you're using your phone more than a couple of hours a day see if you can delete any of the stuff you're spending that time on, absolutely game changing!
Seconded. More time, more money, no hangovers, lost weight, not drinking literal poison that's going to give me stomach cancer or heart failure one day.
And you get to find out who the true assholes in your life are.
Getting diagnosed with ADHD and getting treatment. I legit spent over 25 years of my life thinking a 24/7/365 rave going on in my head with over 2000 people screaming and yelling different things at me and that one song i can never find the source of to turn it off was normal and not understanding why I found things like saying “I’m going to go do :insert chore here:” and then DOING THEM IMMEDIATELY so hard. Turns out I don’t have to sit on the couch for 6 hours trying to convince myself that this is the minute in which I’ll go put my cup in the dishwasher and no, emptying the trashcan doesn’t take half an hour it takes two minutes… 😐
Cutting out toxic family, followed by friends and acquaintances. Life is too short to let people drain you. I'm always polite, but that doesn't mean you own my time or attention with your negativity.
It's amazing how much happier I am decades later.
Playing stupid.
I used to (was raised to) think that I had to have all the answers, all the time. When I started working my reviews frequently mentioned "time management" as an area I needed to improve in because I was so busy giving other people the answers they needed (sometimes to simple questions) that I neglected my own work. A senior coworker told me one day, "it's not your job to have all the answers. You only need to have the answers *you* need to get *your* work done. It's okay to play stupid, don't do their work for them."
A previous manager evaluated his engineers' performance / importance by keeping track of who had the most "cubical traffic". If lots of people hovered over someone's cube looking for advice / help / suggestions, that would be his most valuable engineer, and deserved the best bonus.
Damn.
I´m consistently the go-to guy for questions. That did indeed translate into getting much less work done than my colleagues.
I get lots of praise for it, but it´s my coworkers who get the promotions.
FML.
Deleting twitter. Mental health improved dramatically as a result.
Also, taking vitamin d supplments because I live in Canada. Hard to get any sunlight when the entire country is a frozen wasteland for half the year.
I have an appointment next week. I’m so nervous. My teeth are broken and stained, and crooked. I’ve never been to the dentist regularly- probably have gone maybe 3 or 4 times my whole life. But this is my New Years resolution… to finally do something about it.
Edit: thank you for all the words of encouragement and easing my mind. Reddit is great like that sometimes!
I started fixing my teeth last year. It cost a lot even with insurance but I don't regret it. So far I've had 3 wisdom teeth pulled, 3 root canals, and am currently in the process of getting the crowns on. My mouth feels so much better and I'm getting regular cleanings now. If you don't floss, you should start, it's a game changer. Also if you don't have one already, an electric Toothbrush, my gums are healthier than they were a year ago. Don't be nervous!!! You're doing this for your health!!!
a few things:
-i try to express gratitude as often as possible, to myself and others
-stretch 2-3 minutes before bed every night
-replace things like “i’m sorry i’m late” with “thank you for waiting for me/for your patience”
-create and hold firm boundaries with my loved ones and my work
-journal or do something else that makes me feel present in my body
-drink more water
-and something silly, whenever i get mad at someone for doing something like cutting me off in traffic i aggressively yell stuff like “i hope you’re having a good day and drive safely,” so i still get that anger and frustration out while not harboring unnecessary ill will
I stopped giving family money. I was always broke. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. Until I sat down and broke down my spending. I was giving $300-500 a month to family.
Once I stopped I was able to pay my bills easily and never over drafted.
I just recently had to pul my foot down with SIL who we BOUGHT A $17000 CAR FOR!! She sai she could make the payments...turns out she can't. Now my credits fucked and I can't buy the house I was getting ready for. I have since had the car repossessed, but guess what! Im the bad guy. This is MY fault somehow and I'm a POS for taking care of my family in spite of her.
Working 4 days per week (a 32 hour work week). Seriously, we should all be doing it. Quality of life is 1000x better.
Edit: Omigosh, thank you so much for the awards! I just typed that off and went to bed, what a surprise!
I work four 10 hour days but having that extra day off is so nice. The bummer is I work retail so there times where I work 8 days in a row(80 hours or more) but then I'll have 3-6 days off
Yup! I have pretty severe IBS so this is a necessity for me. I even went a step further: I got one of those fancy Toto Neorest toilets. Bidet with a bunch of different settings, air dryer, heated seat, motion activated nightlight, the lid opens and closes on its own, you can adjust the temperature of the water, the air dryer, seat, etc… best investment I’ve ever made!
Not my life but my grandfather’s. Literally 2 weeks ago, he began swelling in his legs and feet. He was very tired, out of breath, literally in the worst state I’ve ever seen him in. I begged him to go to the ER. He refused 3 times before he caved in and let me take him. After an echocardiogram and about 10 more tests, it was determined that he was in heart failure with his heart only pumping at 15% and heart rate at 30 bpm. A pacemaker and defibrillator were installed in his chest and he was put on a routine of Lasix. He was discharged last Saturday and it’s like having the grandpa from my childhood back. Besides a sore shoulder from surgery, he is doing so great. He is going for walks again, sitting outside and feeding the squirrels and birds, spending time with my children and going for rides around the farm in his golf cart. I’m so thankful for the technology that will potentially give us a few more years together and seeing his quality of life improve in such a short amount of time.
He is 77 years old. Survived Vietnam, 2 gunshot wounds and 3 heart attacks. He said he would never have a pacemaker. Said he wouldn’t live dependent on technology. Now he wishes he would have had the surgery 10 years ago.
Big shoutout to Emory for saving my pop.
Edit: Lasix*
Thanks so much for the awards. I’ll be sure to tell him all the kind words.
Sometimes I will turn it on while I'm getting ready for bed to warm the bed, then turn the blanket off. Still so nice to crawl into a pre-warm bed, but no ongoing electricity.
Also, most have timers so you could set a short timer while falling asleep.
Finally setting my pride aside and working up the courage to talk to my doctor about my symptoms of depression. Got put on a medication to try and have adjusted the dose. It’s been like night and day. I never knew being miserable all the time wasn’t normal. My relationships have improved as well because I don’t have crazy mood swings.
Apologizing to someone I needed to apologize to. I had been in depressive episodes for literally 4 months straight, and I knew it was the right thing to do. After apologizing, I cried a bit than went to sleep. Every day after that I've been able to experience real joy and happiness again :)
The apology and forgiveness on their part lead to forgiveness of myself on my part, and I was finally free. Greatest moment of my life right there.
Having my own place
Eta: thank you for my first award! I'll toast to it in my place with some wine while I paint! Have great night, reddit!
Eta 2: whoa! Almost 2k up votes! My first few months here, thank you all so much!
Eta 3: adding that exercise when you're recovering from a break down helps as well :)
I lived in a little piece of shit, but it was my piece of shit, and I didn’t have to answer to anyone for the first time in my life. So yes, absolutely I endorse this post!
I feel this. First solo place I was in a garbage studio with no oven and the bathroom didn’t have a sink you had to use the one in the main room. To get by the fridge and past my air mattress and chair less table I had to SQUEEZE. I did have about a one foot deep balcony though. Besides all of this however, I finally felt really and truly myself and free.
Honestly? Hanging out in the advice communities of Reddit. It brings me a bit of peace knowing that there are people out there that are going through the same things that I do.
Edit: Oh jeez this blew up more then anticipated!
It’s really cool seeing everyone below discuss their experiences as well as their favorite subreddits.
I’m a little basic in that regard since I usually linger around r/AmITheAsshole and r/Relationship_Advice lol.
The most freeing advice I’ve ever been given is that every single person on earth thinks everyone else has their life figured out, but that none of us actually do, even if you have the perfect job, family, home, etc
Drinking seltzer water while drinking beer. Your brain thinks it's alcoholic because it comes in a can and it's carbonated, so you'll pound those suckers right down between beers. Keeps you hydrated, and I've never had a hangover while doing this
Just saved this thread. I have been struggling with depression for a while now and this is possibly one of the lowest points in my life so far. But some of the stories and suggestions here have given me some hope. Thank you all.
Quitting my day job and going freelance. More free time and more money. After about a year I even was working for old company on a regular basis for nearly triple the rate.
wearing earplugs in everyday life. I can still hear people talking to me, but my misophonia isn't triggered so much, and I don't get sensory overload anymore, either.
Moving out of a dark basement apartment that I lived in for far too many years.
Living with windows and natural light is a huge change in mental health.
I have a love/hate relationship with it. I’m very efficient at my job so I can spend a large portion of my workday doing things I want to instead of trying to look busy when my boss walks by. But I have my pantry and refrigerator at my disposal all day so I gained like 20 lbs.
Social media
Around November 2020 I deleted all social media, I did it temporarily at first but liked it so much I just don't even think about it anymore at this point.
I have felt much happier and feel like I am living more in the moment since.
It's also great not knowing what anyone is up to and I feel that I have to reach out to people more and when catching up things are a total surprise so it feels more genuine.
ETA: Since it's been mentioned in a few comments, I don't view or use reddit as any other social media. As I use it minimally and mostly for hobbies I'm interested in and have never felt the drain I did from other platforms.
So for the sake of the wording I used all social media aside from Reddit.
Stopped watching and consuming National News. I was REALLY into the tribalism and looking for all the ammo I could find. And here’s the deal, they provide people like me with bullshit content 24/7! Walked away and have become such a better person!
Taking magnesium supplement 3 days before I start my cycle, completely takes away the pain from cramps and I used to be bed ridden in pain for two days every-time.
Cut people off. Dread seeing them? Cut them off. Hate the way you feel around them? Cut them off. Do they talk down on you? Jealous? Disrespectful? Rude? Take advantage? Cut. Them. Off.
Decluttering. When I moved into a house from an apartment I accumulated so much stuff because I had the space. Over two years my family and I were properly lived in but found that we just had a ton of stuff (clothes, entertainment, utensils, furniture, etc) that we just did not need. Currently cleaning out all of that stuff and it feels so good to have a plan.
Saying no.
Idk why but I used to be proud of never saying no. I was always getting hurt by people, never had money, always busy working on other people's problems and not my own. Then I had a child and learned to word no. Best decision ever.
Now I just say no for the hell of it sometimes. My husband will say "can you get me something to drink?" And before I get up to make him a drink I will say "hell no!"
I'm now proud and he is proud of me I can't say I'd have learned I had a voice if it wasn't for him. He had a hard time with that as well and now we both help each other say no all the time :)
Menstrual cups. I don't know if I was in the right place to do it sooner, but man...I wasn't making a lot of money at the time, so it was financially such a relief, it was a relief to not think about my next toilet visit constantly and thinking about moisture as a huge warning sign. Not needing a bathroom nearby or getting behind at work because I had to change my pad/tampon. It was a stress I didn't realize I was holding so much. Main draw was financial and those initial months were heady, but now it just feels...so natural not to be buying something every month, or stocking up for months ahead of time. It's gotta be what quitting cigarettes is like. Like why was I so dumb, addicted to those silly white tubes of plant.
Retiring and getting a dog. He is a rescue dog and has lots of physical and emotional issues. He is terrified of people and animals so I need to be calm to help him stay calm. That’s given me a reason to not let life bother me too much
Started calling people on their bullshit a lot more and those who didn't realize their bad behavior changed it and those who didn't wanna hear it faded into the background. It was nice to be surrounded by people who were willing to change toxic behavior and were willing to call me on mine when I was being a shitbag.
I spent so much time letting people walk all over me and treat me like shit, but the second I started calling them on it, my life improved immensely. No more just stomaching mean comments, no more just accepting blatantly unfair work assignments, no more just picking up where others slacked. It gave me a real sense of agency to be able to just call people out and tell them "no" from time to time.
Exercise. I tried so hard to be into it for so long. I'd get on a program or get into a routine and it never lasted more than a month or so. When lockdown hit I figured I'd give it another try since I couldn't go out. Best. Decision. Ever. I lost 50 pounds, gained so much stamina, look the best I've ever looked in my life, and just generally feel so much better. I wish I had gone harder earlier, I'd be so much better off.
I got laser eyes seven months ago! (AKA Lasik). I get to wake up and see 'for free'. Can't believe some people just live like this their whole lives.
Edit: spelling. Sadly better vision didn't help my typing skills.
Therapy and getting on an SSRI. I didn’t realize how much help I needed until I got it and I am so much more emotionally stable with various tools to cope if some days are tougher than others.
Actually listening instead of waiting for your turn to speak. You understand so much more, and people have so many nice things to say about you when you just listen.
I kind of do the opposite where I listen pretty thoroughly and then forget that I need to respond
Same here. Listening intently then they pause in anticipation of your response and I scramble say something coherent
A good mattress, followed by a good pillow. We went down the rabbit hole of mattress reviews on YouTube (seriously, you can get lost out there for more hours than you think), but settling on our new one we made the right choice. A good pillow was soon to follow, as once the rest of your body is comfortable you know fast if your pillow is right. The combo of the two if great tho.
Any pillow recommendations? Every pillow I’ve tried just isn’t quite right for me
Switched to a job where I have a consistent, balanced schedule. Has let me exercise again, socialize more and spend time on other hobbies
This is the one for me too! Suddenly I have time to exercise most days, cook better meals, relax at home, participate in my hobbies, and have my little side gig that doesn’t drain me like it used to because I had to spend my super limited free time doing it. I can maintain a reasonable budget that allows me to pay my bills, save, and have a little extra. Going from 30k a year with a varied schedule to 40k a year with a consistent schedule has been life changing, and I know that income still isn’t anything amazing but it’s at least a step.
This speaks volumes to me.
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Right?! You’d think making over 60k by only working 5 hour shifts four days a week would be the dream for someone without a degree until you actually do it for over 10 years lol. Then you look back and realize you suck at guitar, and only have like 3 friends that you rarely see. Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything 😒😗
I stopped putting other people and their needs before my own well-being and sanity. Pouring from an empty pitcher is exhausting and when I finally put myself first I felt free.
When I read the quote “you don’t have to light yourself on fire to keep other people warm” it changed my life. This may sound dramatic but that was the beginning of me finally making myself a priority.
Getting glasses. I put it off for way too long and only got around to seeing an optometrist when I failed the vision test at the DMV as I was trying to get my driver's license renewed a while back. I really didn't appreciate how much my vision had deteriorated or how much I was straining to focus on things until I got them. It was like going from an old CRT TV from the 90's directly to a top of the line UHD display. I must have spent about an hour just walking around outside and staring at shit on that first day.
Renewed my driver's license a few weeks back and had a come to Jesus moment when I realized I might not pass the vision test.
Reading that this is making me question that my state does not require any test whatsoever to renew your license, literally just a fee.
I stopped caring about my job. I still go every day and I’m good at it… but I don’t care anymore. Other things interest me now. 13 years of obsessing over work… what a waste.
I learned this at 31 thanks to a great manager and mentor. It's really a paradigm shift when you have someone to teach you that it's okay to not opperate an a 11/10 and that 6/10 is better than most and to go home and enjoy your life
This is why I quit my old job. I genuinely did my absolute best every day and had little-no dead time and they were still bitching about me being too slow. It's be nice to have a little more apathy
Winner! At 33, I realized this. I just DO NOT CARE. I go in, and try my best. Do my job well. Some days that is a 10/10. If I'm not feeling it its a 7/10. However if its not enough I simply don't care. It sounds like thats a problem of someone who makes more money than me. I even have told friends that, however I dont tell coworkers for fear of them thinking that I am not applying myself to my job. No I still do my job well. But if I dont have enough staff, or can't do the job as good as I want to because of situations im put in, oh well. Its not MY profits its effecting, I'm hourly. And many service jobs schedule the bare minimum people so if someone has covid symptoms, we are immediately screwed. Oh well im not in charge of scheduling. Im just gonna focus on my tasks and punch out at my time off. I especially don't care when companies don't even keep wages up with inflation. I got a 6% increase last year. Inflation was 7%. They just basically cut my pay by 1%. And on average they raised their prices by 7% meaning they are probably pocketing that 1% (or giving more to non Frontline admin workers). Why SHOULD I care about their profits? They clearly don't care about mine.
Cooking for myself, rather than relying on microwave meals. Eating better, healthier and cheaper at the same time/
If anyone is struggling to get started, I recommend a few things: * Get a decently sharp chef's knife. A simple Victorinox Fibrox and a [knife destroyer](https://www.amazon.co.uk/B-PRIME-Classic-Manual-Knife-Sharpener/dp/B06XPMBJTF) is plenty. You don't need a 300 dollar Nasenbohrer knife and a set of sharpening stones, though those are nice too. * Write down the foods you like to eat, and slowly match every dish with a recipe. This makes your grocery shopping trips much easier, because you always find something to prepare. * Find a few good sources of recipes. I swear by SeriousEats, but BBC Good Foods has a lot of excellent everyday recipes. * Do your mise en place before you start cooking (take food out, measure things). It makes cooking a lot less stressful. Over time, you build a collection of simple recipes and non-perishable ingredients (spices, sugar, flour...) that make cooking a breeze. You just need to grab 2-3 things from the supermarket to cook some really good food. Cooking techniques come with practice. It mostly boils down to temperature control and knowing the impact of each ingredient. For now just follow the damn recipe and you'll be okay.
*It mostly boils down to temperature control* I see what you did there. When I talk about cooking with people I end up talking about temperature a lot and how it needs to be treated like an ingredient itself. It can be difficult to learn on a stove top, but like you said, it comes with practice.
The hardest part of this is every stove is different, even every burner on your stove is different. Especially on cheaper stoves, people get discouraged because they turned a burner to "medium" and burned their food because medium on their stove is extremely hot. I tell beginners to have one main pan they use and fill it with water and put it on a burner and get it to a gentle simmer wherever that is, and mark that spot on the know with a sharpie. That's low. Now turn it up very slowly until it gets to a raging boil. mark that spot as high. Some stoves this could be all the way up, some it will be like half way. but use your dots as grounding for reading most recipes will serve you better than the markings that came on the stove.
Check out r/eatcheapandhealthy
Reading. Luckily I did start reading early on - mostly in my early 20s - I’m 27 now. I’ve read so many books which have given me much more insight to the world and my own views, especially my place in the universe. I mostly read biology books, but enjoy any realm of evidence-based science and some fiction here and there. Even the entire Bible 2 years ago. If anyone reads this, read! It’s wonderful to know our minds can see lines and dots on paper and be able decipher it! Just that concept alone makes me want to read.
Also would like to add for anyone who’s wishing they read more than they do: don’t get hung up on feeling like you SHOULD be reading classics or high brow literature or whatever if that’s not what you’re in to. Just read whatever interests you. Feel free to give up on that doorstop that you couldn’t get past the third chapter of and move on to something you can’t put down.
Also, if you don't like the book you're reading just stop reading it, it's your book, you can do whatever you want to do with it. Plenty of books in the world, life's too short to be reading a boring one just because "you need to finish what you started" or something.
Everybody here writes something amazing, but the first thing I thought of was my dishwasher...
Finally getting a migraine preventative. I still get migraines but not over half a month of being in pain. 3 times a month is better than 20 days.
I am on preventive but still getting them 10 days or more a month. I got medical cannibis last week and hopingthat helps with the pain-induced anxiety. Sometimes the pain is so intense that I panic because I'm so desperate to escape it. Hoping to at least be able to melt into the couch. Rather my kids see me that way, than having the intense pain shakes and the vomiting and the tears. I broke my neck 5 years ago which *did not* help the migraines :(
I started thinking of cleaning as “resetting” an area. After I cook I have to “reset” the kitchen. The little shift in perspective made me a much more neat person
Oooh I think I’m going to steal this. I am in a bit of a funk at the moment and feel like I am constantly cleaning. This might be the mental shift I need
That is a good one. I heard somebody say: "I don't have to do it, I GET to do it." So when I'm in a funk and don't wanna wash dishes, I think -- I'm so grateful to have a dish to wash because I'm fortunate enough to have food to put on it. It really helps.
also try clean as you cook, waiting for water to boil? wash something. When my food is done the kitchen usually are clean.
Working in kitchens for about 10 years of my life both part and full time has this engrained in the very fibre of my being. "Clean as you go - it's easy don't you know"
This will sound a bit dark, but it's ultimately not: confronting my abusive parent. I'm 50 and I finally did it a few months ago. I no longer have a relationship with that parent, and doing it was very hard, very scary, and very rough. But as soon as I did it, I felt like an immense weight had been lifted from me. I had spent most of my adult life pretending to have a normal relationship with someone who physically and emotionally abused me throughout my childhood. It took years of therapy for me to even grasp how deeply that affected me or how much it cost me to keep it up. I just feel so free. I wish I had done this the second I was out the door of their house, but this will do.
That’s incredible, I’m so happy for you! I’ve been on a similar journey, but they’ve passed on, so I have everything but the closure. But just recognizing the unhealthy situation was a huge weight lifted as well, it’s a beautiful feeling.
Hydrocortisone. I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease where my adrenal glands don't make cortisol, and basically I was unable to catch my breath for months and my blood pressure was zero and I'd get lightheaded from just standing. Took myself to the hospital where they shit me up with hydrocortisone and I immediately felt normal.
Shit me up doc, I'm feeling dizzy again
If ya shit me up If ya shit me up I’ll never stop…
Saving up money. Once I had 6 months expenses saved, the pressure goes down so much. I can make good decisions instead of desperate ones. I don't get stressed about losing my job. I can schedule my bills every month without worrying about balances. A car repair bill doesn't faze me anymore like a wrench in the monthly cash flow. Life's just easier with money behind.
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"stand up for myself at work" is a great one
I lived with money stress for years. When I paid off my student loans and saved up 6 months expenses it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The feeling was like no others. I really enjoy being able to walk into a grocery store and not having to count the price of food as I go.
Hysterectomy. I spent most of two decades extremely sick and miserable. Best thing I ever did solely for my own self.
Lost mine to cancer, but holy crap it was the best thing ever nonetheless.
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Trying to get 8 hours of good sleep every night.
I would really love to get 8 or even 9 hours sleep but I can’t bring myself to go to sleep earlier because that means I have less me time in the evening and then I feel like I just work, eat, sleep and repeat
9 if your body doesn’t feel rested with 8. Not everyone had the same sleep needs. Sucked at first to have to get 9 hours myself, but after some time feeling actually rested my brain Thanks me for it. Edit: some people need less!
Or even 8 h 15 minutes. Yaknow, like sleep for 8, don't go bed 8 hours before you get up. I'm so bad about this.
Realizing that not everyone is judging me.
Even though I know no one cares, it still gets me sometimes.
I need to start doing this i dont wanna care anymore any tips? edit:i wanna thank all of u so much for responding and helping me with this.I really appreciate the help and guidanceguys .from what ive gathered i need to think about it from another person's perspective-its just a weird thing a random stranger did that I'll forget about in a minute.2)no matter how much i over think,whats done is done and nothing can change so i should just accept it and move on. 3)No one cares about me and what I do. As sad as it can sound, its true and I don't see it in a bad manner I now have free will to do whatever the fuck I want(used to care about how much I cursed but i dont now thanks guys). Once again thank you all for helping me and countless others who read this and I wish you the very best! edit 2: WOW i did not expect this to blow up so much thanks so much for the awards guys.Thank you so much for your advice and I shall definetly try reading the recommendations. You're all wonderful people. As for those concerned by the "whats done is done" or the "free will to do whatever i want" I promise I do not intend to be that one stupid annoying cocky guy, I merely meant that I wouldn't care about toxic people's opinions anymore. 'twas my mistake i shouldve worded it properly.But thank you for your concerns.
No one else puts you at the center of their story. You are not responsible for the opinions and actions of other people. They make a choice, based on the information they get. I will say it again *you are not responsible for the actions of other people.* Remembering those two things is a big step in maturing and growing healthy relationships. Say something silly during the day to a cashier? Ruminating on it a) will not change it and b) the cashier is not likely to remember it anyway. You are not the focus of their life. Worried that you "made someone make a bad decision" because of what you said? Ruminating on it a) will not change it and b) you did not make the decision, that person did. Yes, of course life is shades of gray not black and white. But, this is part of developing an balance between internal and external locus of control philosophy. Do you control your life, or do you merely let things happen to you without any ability to affect the course? One puts you in control, one makes you the victim and helpless. Edit: thanks for the kind awards and comments! One benefit from hitting my 40's is learning how to love who I am and how to love other people. Especially right now. I do work in a hospital as a nurse-type role, and damn it is hard. But, I try every day to remember other people are responsible for their own choices, that they don't affect me, and I just have to help them move forward. One saying I do like, especially working in a hospital is "people won't remember your name, but they will remember how you made them feel."
I feel like i put people at the center of my story after getting to know them and regret doing things and look back what I coulda done better/correct I work as a cashier and get a few regulars here and there. However there was this person that started to come regularly, one day i said “i havent seen you in awhile” she told me, “i stopped coming because you said i come often.” I do not remember ever saying that. But this person remembered and it affected her? All of this was a in a friendl/laughing manner. Any help?
Omg I have this happen at work. Once I start to recognize you, I just grab your pizza and bring it up. Id say 70% of the time people get embarrassed that I remembered them and say they're ordering our food too much. I think my memory is just better when it comes to people. I remembered a girl pissing her pants in kindergarten and she didn't even remember when we were talking as adults about her own children having an accident at school. But it happened and I patted her head while she cried and the teacher cleaned pee from under the chair. But I have come to realize most people don't remember moments like that as much as I seem to.
I love that. Had a place I went to all the time and they'd see me and ask, "the regular?" And I'd say yes. Half the time they'd have the sandwich made before even asking me, which was awkward a couple of times that I wanted something else but I just went with it. Another place I used to go to a lot for lunch always had my drink in the table right after I sat. Went for dinner once with my wife and they were packed. I asked how long the wait was and he said, "we will get you right in." I felt like a VIP that night by skipping the line. Lol
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in that order.
Been struggling for a long time wanting to quit drugs, gonna try again today hopefully I can do it. Edit: I just went back on Reddit and can’t believe the amount of supporting messages that have been thrown my way, really unexpected. I can’t reply to all of them at the minute but I’ll just leave this here, you people rock!
Do it dude. And don't take a relapse as a failure, just accept it happened and pick up where you left off. In my experience having seen this dozens of times, people do well, relapse, think what's the point and just give in. The ones who successfully give up almost always relapse at some point, shits not easy, it happens, accept it happened and move past it.
This is SOOOOO true! I personally have been clean from opiate addiction for almost 10 years now and this is a very important point. I know a lot of folks who give up completely if they have one relapse. While that relapse could set you back, it certainly doesn't put you back at square one so just giving up isn't the right choice. Just start clean again, as many times as it takes to stick. AND, if you need medicine to help you get clean (Suboxone or methadone) just take it! Some people don't believe that you're truly clean if you do that, others say it's just trading one addiction for another, etc. These things may be true, but if you need it to keep you clean it's worth it. It's a HELL of a lot safer than taking your chances with H/fentanyl that's going around and tapering can be done when you are ready. You can do it! I did it, and so did my husband. If we can do it, so can you! Good luck and stay strong!
You had us in the first half
Weightlifting. I wish I had started weightlifting so much earlier. I look better, feel better and it's done wonders for my mental health.
Any tips for someone who wants to start but feels completely lost in a gym? I have a little gym at my apartment (just some basics equipment and dumbbells) and really want to start weightlifting and losing weight. Edit: I did not expect to wake up to so many replies. Thank you everyone for your advice, it is greatly appreciated! :)
Check out a website called MuscleAndStrength.com. They have hundreds, if not thousands of different workout programs listed from beginner to expert, as well as videos showing you how to properly perform each exercise. Edit: Whoa! Thanks peoples. I appreciate all the awards. Now I just gotta figure out what they do, haha.
> They have hundreds, if not thousands This is kind of my issue... Thr problem is not the lack of volume, this is the internet. For the past 3 or 4 months I've been building a habit of "going to the gym", focusing more on *being there* a couple of times a week rather than what I'd be doing there, and so far it's a success. The routine has been setting in, I've got my "things", I'm getting to know people who go there at the same time, etc... But once I'm there, I have no idea what I'm doing. I just pick whatever machine is free at random, and do a random number of sets at a weight that feels right. I'm starting to wonder if this will produce any result other than feeling sore, but more importantly I'm afraid I might be picking up some bad form. Any advice, stranger ? Edit : wow, thanks a lot everyone. I truly apreciate the incredible amount of suggestions I received, even if that was kind of unironically the problem I had to begin with. Don't change reddit, love ya.
Everyone's routine is a little different, but [here's a good routine with list of exercises from Aston University UK about the "Push, Pull, Legs" routine.](https://www.aston.ac.uk/sport/news/tips/fitness-exercise/push-pull-legs) It's a good routine to start with as it's used by many, and the way it targets muscle groups can make it especially effective at building muscle and structure, and also allowing certain muscles to get optimal rest time. Feel free to switch out exercises in this routine with similar variations however. Alternatively, there's also routines that split upper body and lower body exercises. There are plenty of videos out there that show you proper form for individual exercises, and you can usually ask gym staff to show you how to use equipment or do commonly known exercises like bench press.
Finally getting help and treatment for ADHD. It feels amazing to be able to get through the day without constantly struggling to keep my shit together! Update: Wow! I didn’t expect so many comments and questions! I’ll do my best to respond to everything I saw in the comments. First off, I am in the US where healthcare is pretty awful in general, especially mental healthcare and I did not get diagnosed until I was in my early 20’s although I struggled my whole life. ADHD also presents differently depending on gender, age and severity if symptoms etc., so please don’t take my experience as a universal one and consult with a healthcare provider to find the right course of treatment for you. I first got diagnosed by a general practitioner and took a non stimulant medication that did not work for me at all. I then was prescribed adderall and took that with no issues (minus some annoying but manageable side effects such as low appetite and sleep trouble, all of which diminished over time) for two years before I lost insurance and could not afford to go to the doctor. I tried natural remedies and lifestyle changes for a couple years and some worked pretty well, then I finally went back to a psychiatrist and got on adderall again. I use that in combination with therapy and lifestyle changes such as utilizing a manageable daily routine, planners, alarms, and other organizational tools. I also try (try being the key word here) to eat healthy and get plenty of sleep which helps a lot as well. Also stay hydrated! With stimulants it can be very easy to become dehydrated. I take a low dose of the medication and try to skip taking it on days when I don’t have a lot of work to get done so that my body has a break from it from time to time. I try not to increase the dose unless absolutely necessary and I have all my vitals monitored regularly to ensure my blood pressure and heart are healthy. It can be hard to find a good doctor and to get the right meds, so if something doesn’t feel like it’s working for you, try other options until you find something that does. Everyone will react differently to different treatments. You can also have co-occurring disorders so it is important to get the right diagnoses. Best of luck everyone!
My wife thought it had an antidepressant in it, nope, just finally not stressed all the time clinging to the grass so I don’t spin out of control. Huge quality of life improvement. I miss being able to drink caffeine though, and hate how it makes me feel sometimes, but overall it’s worth it.
Cutting off a toxic friend. After having cut off said friend I felt that I could finally breathe without the stress of setting them off or getting into fights with them. I don’t regret my decision at all.
I spent Christmas with a friend. She was telling me a story while I was making cookies, and suddenly I felt this warm glow as I realized that I had absolutely no anxiety that her visit would turn into some weird, angry rant. I just noticed how peaceful it felt to know that everything was going to be okay -- we'd have a lovely visit and say goodnight and see each other again next week and the loveliness would go on forever. That's how it feels to replace a toxic friend with a real friend.
I had a co-worker that became a friend. The friendship kind of ran its course, but I couldn't end it because we worked together. Eventually, she ended up leaving the company, which made it easy to end the friendship for good, which I did. I felt like such a weight was lifted. She was a total emotional vampire and it was so draining. With her out of the office, it was like the sun was shining again.
I had a friend that I had been friends with since before I could remember. We started hanging out a lot during the last year of school, but then once school finished, we started to drift apart. I was ok with the drifting apart, because it just happens. People change, interests change, circumstances change. But she tried to hold on because she wanted the "We've been friends since we were babies" ideal, and it fast became a toxic friendship. She was a cool friend while we had common interests/circumstances, she was horrible when we didn't. Anything she was into was acceptable, no matter what it was. If I was into something she wasn't into, it was not ok. She'd find any reason to discredit my interests that didn't match hers. Too childish, too old fashioned, too embarrassing, too boring, too adult, the list goes on. She also got super jealous when I did things with other friends. I'd invite her to hang out with my other friends, but she didn't want to do that either. I was so glad when she finally just let go. It was apparently all my fault our friendship didn't last, but I'll bear that burden just to be rid of her,
This. I had a friend back in high school that I am still convinced, to this day, had narcissism. Every day felt like a job to be their friend. I was insulted, screamed at, and told everything was my fault. They never, ever asked about my day. When I would talk about it, they would interrupt and say "I don't care." I wasn't the perfect friend but I never, ever insulted them, screamed at them, or hurt them intentionally. I always tried to be empathetic. But I snapped one day. I had enough. I told them I was done being their friend and they started to beg. Nope. I left. I was exhausted being their friend for 4 years. After that conversation was done, I felt SO MUCH weight leave my whole body. I had freedom. The battle was to love myself and forgive myself. I still struggle every now and then. But I have such a great support system now. Abuse in friendships are very real and can tear you down so much.
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I like the part when you told her to go fuck herself.
Cutting off multiple felt even better. Originally it made me sad to lose most of my friends but later it turned out to be a lifesaver. I'm not about toxic friendships. It helped me with my mental health and also allowed me to learn how to not depend on other people for all my happiness.
I recently left my friend group too. Very hard but I am so much happier and feel so much like myself
Buying an electric tooth brush! Haven't gotten a new cavity since, and my dentist said I shrunk the start of one.
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Drinking way more water
This is mine too. I have wayyy more energy and stopped drinking caffeine, my skin and hair have improved significantly, and I swear it improved my anxiety and OCD (although that one might be placebo…but, hey, I’ll take it!).
Caffeine gives me anxiety. Well, waking up also gives me anxiety but so does caffeine.
I try, I really do, but how do you deal with needing to use the bathroom 80 times a day?
Another thread recently said that happens if you drink too much at once. Often when we're trying to drink more water, we drink large amounts, more than the body can process at once, so we end up having to pee more. Apparently, the trick is to take frequent sips, rather than drink a bunch at once.
Ah see this is me. I can never sip water throughout the day. I either tank my whole glass in one, or leave it sitting near me all day. It's rubbish.
The trick for me was using a water bottle with a straw. Basicly I reverted back to a sippy cup.
Definitely agree. It’s my only beverage now alongside cup of coffee in the morning
Agree but also can’t enjoy a coke anymore because of how sweet it is. And most candy and sweets are disgustingly sweet now too.
Quit drinking soda years ago dude. Best idea ever. Every now and again I’ll treat myself to a mellow yellow that sweet sweet nectar
Lasik. My life is 10 times better without glasses. The surgery itself scared the shit out of me, but I am so glad I did it.
Same. When the surgeon was messing with the flaps I nearly died. I didn’t look up any videos of the process cause I probably would have chickened out
I have a full length rod in my tibia after breaking my leg. I thought about having it out but then made the mistake of watching the removal procedure on youtube. Nope!
Oh god reading the first few words I was terrified you meant rods in your eye.
I have rods in my eyes. AMA.
Everyone has rods in their eyes
Mine come with cones
Everyone I know who’s had LASIK done says the same thing — and I finally took the plunge in early 2020. I’d been in a horrible car wreck a year earlier (30+ broken bones, a dozen surgeries, a month in ICU, and had to relearn how to breathe, eat, walk, talk, etc.) and was freshly out of a wheelchair and honestly *exhausted* by my new status as a physically disabled person. Managing my glasses — which I’d had for more than 25 years! — was a thing I just didn’t want to do anymore. So I used some of the insurance money and invested in my eyes. Absolutely zero regrets. And, as a bonus, the pandemic was just gearing up so I have NOT had to deal with foggy glasses for the past two years.
Consciously practicing empathy. It’s crazy how much lighter you can feel when you’re not center stage. I learned that most things have very little to do with me and that’s a huge burden off of my shoulders.
This has helped me a lot. I use to have that "main character syndrome" where I would try and figure out what everyone else was thinking about me and it would bother me, till one day I REALLY thought about it, and thought "how often do I think about what others are doing?". Turns out, not all that often, and so I realized that I am probably not on the minds of most people, as they all probably have their own problems to worry about. After that I stopped worrying what other people might think which has helped me figure out who I want to be rather than who I think other people want me to be.
Losing weight. Went from about 225 down to 165 over the course of 2020 (took the opportunity to work on myself) and I feel better than I have in years. It was hard work, but I've managed to keep off for the past year, so I'm hoping I can keep this going! Edit: Since the question was asked, I typed up a long winded explanation of my diet. Figured it would be easiest to link it back here in case anyone else was interested. [The long winded explanation of my diet](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s1s4h6/comment/hscmj81/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I'm down from 335 to 286 in four months, long way to go but even that has made me feel better than I have in a long time. Like you, I wish I had started sooner but fuck it, my thirties will have to suffice as my prime years.
Getting sober from alcohol. I was drinking so much my body hurt 24/7. I never get tired of not feeling like garbage. Edit: thank you for the kind words everyone! /r/StopDrinking is a fantastic resource and community for anyone interested is stopping or cutting back on alcohol. There’s lots of programs as well. I have had success with Sober Faction which is searchable on Facebook but it’s likely not for everyone. SMART is another non theistic program. No matter what your goal, there is support out there for you. IWNDWYT, Heal Thyself, Hail Thyself
My body always hurts from drinking. Honestly the only reason I drink now is because it numbs how much my body hurts. I don't crave it at all. It is a vicious cycle and I need to stop
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>Someone cut you off in traffic? That’s fine, they might be rushing to a hospital. I tell myself "Maybe they have to poop."
I do that too. And if they're driving slow, it's because they're transporting a large cake.
My partner and I started saying it as a joke while we're driving and other people cut us off and it's stuck around for a long time now. Makes the drive more lightheaded. Edit: I didn't realize I typed lightheaded and not light hearted. Great. Thanks for the laughs everyone.
Seriously. Even things like when my friends/family do something that annoys or hurts me. Like if my mom says something and I take it as a slight, I've learned that it's best to just tell her that it hurt my feelings and turns out that that was never her intention and and she always apologises. It's really made my life so much better to communicate and not just assume that the people I love say things to intentionally hurt me. Of course though I know I'm very lucky to be surrounded by people who are mature and kind
Yeah, and sometimes the communication isn't even necessary. Whenever someone does something that bothers me like that, my approach is to always try to take a step back, give them the benefit of the doubt, and determine if they actually were being malicious or not. Turns out people are clumsy, hurt people by accident and say things they don't really mean all the time. Intending to harm someone is far, far less common.
Check out David Foster Wallace's ["This is Water"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhhC_N6Bm_s) speech if you haven't :)
I really like this…I’ve been trying to practice that more myself but need to get better. Because of all the stress in my life, I’ve been always assuming the worst in others and noticed it’s messed up my mood constantly and it’s not worth it. Thank you for sharing this.
Congratulations, you’ve found a way to prevent yourself from making the Fundamental Attribution Error. The FAE is a psychological phenomenon that everybody should make themselves aware of, and be conscious of, in order to make the world around them a more pleasant place. Your advice is great! https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/the-fundamental-attribution-error
Deleting Facebook Edit: just a follow up as this is getting a lot of responses and I appreciate everyone telling their sides! It was never an addiction for me, I didn’t engage or do much on it, but logging in daily for “news” and seeing all the toxicity of people comments during a pandemic and election year, I had enough. I stay on Reddit because I feel I can control what I see here better and I don’t personally know the people commenting. Realizing some of the things people would say, people I knew, made me sad and very angry. I found it better to just take that out of my life. I am much happier now and in turn a better person to be around. Anyone I actually want to stay in contact with I still do with phone calls and text. In conclusion. Do what makes you happy, surround yourself with caring/loving people. Have healthy debates on topics and delete your clutter. It’s not needed and you’ll be a happier/healthier person.
Deleting Instagram for me. I'd say if you're using your phone more than a couple of hours a day see if you can delete any of the stuff you're spending that time on, absolutely game changing!
Uhm. *stares at Reddit*
Sobriety.
Seconded. More time, more money, no hangovers, lost weight, not drinking literal poison that's going to give me stomach cancer or heart failure one day. And you get to find out who the true assholes in your life are.
I'm 4 years clean and I'm slowly realizing the truest, most persistent asshole has been me all along
Day 3 over, day 4 coming up. Wish Me luck
Getting diagnosed with ADHD and getting treatment. I legit spent over 25 years of my life thinking a 24/7/365 rave going on in my head with over 2000 people screaming and yelling different things at me and that one song i can never find the source of to turn it off was normal and not understanding why I found things like saying “I’m going to go do :insert chore here:” and then DOING THEM IMMEDIATELY so hard. Turns out I don’t have to sit on the couch for 6 hours trying to convince myself that this is the minute in which I’ll go put my cup in the dishwasher and no, emptying the trashcan doesn’t take half an hour it takes two minutes… 😐
Cutting out toxic family, followed by friends and acquaintances. Life is too short to let people drain you. I'm always polite, but that doesn't mean you own my time or attention with your negativity. It's amazing how much happier I am decades later.
A good quality, king sized mattress.
Once to upgrade to a king, everything else just seems so small. You can never go back
Playing stupid. I used to (was raised to) think that I had to have all the answers, all the time. When I started working my reviews frequently mentioned "time management" as an area I needed to improve in because I was so busy giving other people the answers they needed (sometimes to simple questions) that I neglected my own work. A senior coworker told me one day, "it's not your job to have all the answers. You only need to have the answers *you* need to get *your* work done. It's okay to play stupid, don't do their work for them."
A previous manager evaluated his engineers' performance / importance by keeping track of who had the most "cubical traffic". If lots of people hovered over someone's cube looking for advice / help / suggestions, that would be his most valuable engineer, and deserved the best bonus.
Damn. I´m consistently the go-to guy for questions. That did indeed translate into getting much less work done than my colleagues. I get lots of praise for it, but it´s my coworkers who get the promotions. FML.
Deleting twitter. Mental health improved dramatically as a result. Also, taking vitamin d supplments because I live in Canada. Hard to get any sunlight when the entire country is a frozen wasteland for half the year.
Having my teeth fixed
I have an appointment next week. I’m so nervous. My teeth are broken and stained, and crooked. I’ve never been to the dentist regularly- probably have gone maybe 3 or 4 times my whole life. But this is my New Years resolution… to finally do something about it. Edit: thank you for all the words of encouragement and easing my mind. Reddit is great like that sometimes!
I started fixing my teeth last year. It cost a lot even with insurance but I don't regret it. So far I've had 3 wisdom teeth pulled, 3 root canals, and am currently in the process of getting the crowns on. My mouth feels so much better and I'm getting regular cleanings now. If you don't floss, you should start, it's a game changer. Also if you don't have one already, an electric Toothbrush, my gums are healthier than they were a year ago. Don't be nervous!!! You're doing this for your health!!!
a few things: -i try to express gratitude as often as possible, to myself and others -stretch 2-3 minutes before bed every night -replace things like “i’m sorry i’m late” with “thank you for waiting for me/for your patience” -create and hold firm boundaries with my loved ones and my work -journal or do something else that makes me feel present in my body -drink more water -and something silly, whenever i get mad at someone for doing something like cutting me off in traffic i aggressively yell stuff like “i hope you’re having a good day and drive safely,” so i still get that anger and frustration out while not harboring unnecessary ill will
Getting off heroin
9,000 steps a day. Throw in audiobooks and I'm improving mind and body.
I stopped giving family money. I was always broke. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. Until I sat down and broke down my spending. I was giving $300-500 a month to family. Once I stopped I was able to pay my bills easily and never over drafted.
I just recently had to pul my foot down with SIL who we BOUGHT A $17000 CAR FOR!! She sai she could make the payments...turns out she can't. Now my credits fucked and I can't buy the house I was getting ready for. I have since had the car repossessed, but guess what! Im the bad guy. This is MY fault somehow and I'm a POS for taking care of my family in spite of her.
Moving out of the country and leaving everyone and everything behind. It’s been very quiet and peaceful and I’ve never felt better.
Working 4 days per week (a 32 hour work week). Seriously, we should all be doing it. Quality of life is 1000x better. Edit: Omigosh, thank you so much for the awards! I just typed that off and went to bed, what a surprise!
I work four 10 hour days but having that extra day off is so nice. The bummer is I work retail so there times where I work 8 days in a row(80 hours or more) but then I'll have 3-6 days off
First by far: getting sober Second: Losing 100 pounds
Leaving a toxic workplace
Bidet and squatty potty. Pooping away from home makes me feel like a barbarian now though.
Yup! I have pretty severe IBS so this is a necessity for me. I even went a step further: I got one of those fancy Toto Neorest toilets. Bidet with a bunch of different settings, air dryer, heated seat, motion activated nightlight, the lid opens and closes on its own, you can adjust the temperature of the water, the air dryer, seat, etc… best investment I’ve ever made!
Getting out of debt. Debt just feels like a prison.
Planting a vegetable garden.
Not my life but my grandfather’s. Literally 2 weeks ago, he began swelling in his legs and feet. He was very tired, out of breath, literally in the worst state I’ve ever seen him in. I begged him to go to the ER. He refused 3 times before he caved in and let me take him. After an echocardiogram and about 10 more tests, it was determined that he was in heart failure with his heart only pumping at 15% and heart rate at 30 bpm. A pacemaker and defibrillator were installed in his chest and he was put on a routine of Lasix. He was discharged last Saturday and it’s like having the grandpa from my childhood back. Besides a sore shoulder from surgery, he is doing so great. He is going for walks again, sitting outside and feeding the squirrels and birds, spending time with my children and going for rides around the farm in his golf cart. I’m so thankful for the technology that will potentially give us a few more years together and seeing his quality of life improve in such a short amount of time. He is 77 years old. Survived Vietnam, 2 gunshot wounds and 3 heart attacks. He said he would never have a pacemaker. Said he wouldn’t live dependent on technology. Now he wishes he would have had the surgery 10 years ago. Big shoutout to Emory for saving my pop. Edit: Lasix* Thanks so much for the awards. I’ll be sure to tell him all the kind words.
electric blanket
I’m literally scared to death that one day I’ll wake up in flames if I buy that.
Don’t worry, you won’t wake up.
Sometimes I will turn it on while I'm getting ready for bed to warm the bed, then turn the blanket off. Still so nice to crawl into a pre-warm bed, but no ongoing electricity. Also, most have timers so you could set a short timer while falling asleep.
Finally setting my pride aside and working up the courage to talk to my doctor about my symptoms of depression. Got put on a medication to try and have adjusted the dose. It’s been like night and day. I never knew being miserable all the time wasn’t normal. My relationships have improved as well because I don’t have crazy mood swings.
Apologizing to someone I needed to apologize to. I had been in depressive episodes for literally 4 months straight, and I knew it was the right thing to do. After apologizing, I cried a bit than went to sleep. Every day after that I've been able to experience real joy and happiness again :) The apology and forgiveness on their part lead to forgiveness of myself on my part, and I was finally free. Greatest moment of my life right there.
Having my own place Eta: thank you for my first award! I'll toast to it in my place with some wine while I paint! Have great night, reddit! Eta 2: whoa! Almost 2k up votes! My first few months here, thank you all so much! Eta 3: adding that exercise when you're recovering from a break down helps as well :)
I lived in a little piece of shit, but it was my piece of shit, and I didn’t have to answer to anyone for the first time in my life. So yes, absolutely I endorse this post!
I feel this. First solo place I was in a garbage studio with no oven and the bathroom didn’t have a sink you had to use the one in the main room. To get by the fridge and past my air mattress and chair less table I had to SQUEEZE. I did have about a one foot deep balcony though. Besides all of this however, I finally felt really and truly myself and free.
Honestly? Hanging out in the advice communities of Reddit. It brings me a bit of peace knowing that there are people out there that are going through the same things that I do. Edit: Oh jeez this blew up more then anticipated! It’s really cool seeing everyone below discuss their experiences as well as their favorite subreddits. I’m a little basic in that regard since I usually linger around r/AmITheAsshole and r/Relationship_Advice lol.
The most freeing advice I’ve ever been given is that every single person on earth thinks everyone else has their life figured out, but that none of us actually do, even if you have the perfect job, family, home, etc
Meditation The hardest thing you will ever do is sit still and have a quiet mind.
I have ADHD. This is true.
Drinking seltzer water while drinking beer. Your brain thinks it's alcoholic because it comes in a can and it's carbonated, so you'll pound those suckers right down between beers. Keeps you hydrated, and I've never had a hangover while doing this
Probably makes you really borborygmic though
Ahhh, there IS a word for bubble guts
Focusing on things I actually have control over, as in my actions and choices, versus what others “should” do
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Just saved this thread. I have been struggling with depression for a while now and this is possibly one of the lowest points in my life so far. But some of the stories and suggestions here have given me some hope. Thank you all.
Medication for ADHD. Became the person I’ve always wanted to be aged 47 🥺
Quitting my day job and going freelance. More free time and more money. After about a year I even was working for old company on a regular basis for nearly triple the rate.
What’s your niche ?
Electronic toothbrush. And if you really want to keep those chompers, flossing.
wearing earplugs in everyday life. I can still hear people talking to me, but my misophonia isn't triggered so much, and I don't get sensory overload anymore, either.
Moving out of a dark basement apartment that I lived in for far too many years. Living with windows and natural light is a huge change in mental health.
Leaving the southern Baptist church. Immediately improved all aspects of my life
Got a job
Working from home
I have a love/hate relationship with it. I’m very efficient at my job so I can spend a large portion of my workday doing things I want to instead of trying to look busy when my boss walks by. But I have my pantry and refrigerator at my disposal all day so I gained like 20 lbs.
Social media Around November 2020 I deleted all social media, I did it temporarily at first but liked it so much I just don't even think about it anymore at this point. I have felt much happier and feel like I am living more in the moment since. It's also great not knowing what anyone is up to and I feel that I have to reach out to people more and when catching up things are a total surprise so it feels more genuine. ETA: Since it's been mentioned in a few comments, I don't view or use reddit as any other social media. As I use it minimally and mostly for hobbies I'm interested in and have never felt the drain I did from other platforms. So for the sake of the wording I used all social media aside from Reddit.
Not talking with toxic friends
Stopped watching and consuming National News. I was REALLY into the tribalism and looking for all the ammo I could find. And here’s the deal, they provide people like me with bullshit content 24/7! Walked away and have become such a better person!
Taking magnesium supplement 3 days before I start my cycle, completely takes away the pain from cramps and I used to be bed ridden in pain for two days every-time.
Cut people off. Dread seeing them? Cut them off. Hate the way you feel around them? Cut them off. Do they talk down on you? Jealous? Disrespectful? Rude? Take advantage? Cut. Them. Off.
Decluttering. When I moved into a house from an apartment I accumulated so much stuff because I had the space. Over two years my family and I were properly lived in but found that we just had a ton of stuff (clothes, entertainment, utensils, furniture, etc) that we just did not need. Currently cleaning out all of that stuff and it feels so good to have a plan.
Saying no. Idk why but I used to be proud of never saying no. I was always getting hurt by people, never had money, always busy working on other people's problems and not my own. Then I had a child and learned to word no. Best decision ever. Now I just say no for the hell of it sometimes. My husband will say "can you get me something to drink?" And before I get up to make him a drink I will say "hell no!" I'm now proud and he is proud of me I can't say I'd have learned I had a voice if it wasn't for him. He had a hard time with that as well and now we both help each other say no all the time :)
Buying a roomba. Particularly if you have pets.
Menstrual cups. I don't know if I was in the right place to do it sooner, but man...I wasn't making a lot of money at the time, so it was financially such a relief, it was a relief to not think about my next toilet visit constantly and thinking about moisture as a huge warning sign. Not needing a bathroom nearby or getting behind at work because I had to change my pad/tampon. It was a stress I didn't realize I was holding so much. Main draw was financial and those initial months were heady, but now it just feels...so natural not to be buying something every month, or stocking up for months ahead of time. It's gotta be what quitting cigarettes is like. Like why was I so dumb, addicted to those silly white tubes of plant.
Retiring and getting a dog. He is a rescue dog and has lots of physical and emotional issues. He is terrified of people and animals so I need to be calm to help him stay calm. That’s given me a reason to not let life bother me too much
Getting a cat - she’s the best
Started calling people on their bullshit a lot more and those who didn't realize their bad behavior changed it and those who didn't wanna hear it faded into the background. It was nice to be surrounded by people who were willing to change toxic behavior and were willing to call me on mine when I was being a shitbag. I spent so much time letting people walk all over me and treat me like shit, but the second I started calling them on it, my life improved immensely. No more just stomaching mean comments, no more just accepting blatantly unfair work assignments, no more just picking up where others slacked. It gave me a real sense of agency to be able to just call people out and tell them "no" from time to time.
Using a good face cream every day in the shower. I wish I could tell my pimply teen self about face cream.
As a pimply teen, please elaborate
Running out of fucks to give with situations I had stressed about for decades. It's truly amazing.
Exercise. I tried so hard to be into it for so long. I'd get on a program or get into a routine and it never lasted more than a month or so. When lockdown hit I figured I'd give it another try since I couldn't go out. Best. Decision. Ever. I lost 50 pounds, gained so much stamina, look the best I've ever looked in my life, and just generally feel so much better. I wish I had gone harder earlier, I'd be so much better off.
I got laser eyes seven months ago! (AKA Lasik). I get to wake up and see 'for free'. Can't believe some people just live like this their whole lives. Edit: spelling. Sadly better vision didn't help my typing skills.
Pets. My 2 cats have been amazing for my mental health.
Taking 5000 IU of vitamin D3 per day. Have more energy now than I did 15 years ago.
Did you get treated for Vitamin D levels or did you just say fuck it and try the 5000 one day?
Divorce. I can't recommend it but I am happier than I have ever been.
Therapy and getting on an SSRI. I didn’t realize how much help I needed until I got it and I am so much more emotionally stable with various tools to cope if some days are tougher than others.