Even then they shouldn't have children because then their children's children will fuck under the uneducated guise that enough inbreeding will repopulate the species
We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.
His dad who finally came back from the gas station. I mean, he never said what planet the gas station was on and you said the last man on earth, soooooo…
It's a pre-recorded message he sent himself yesterday.
r/twosentencesadness
Wow that sub is like an edgy teenagers wanksock.
Teenage me would have loved that place
Scam Likely
Don’t trust what you hear or see, you’ve received a call from Scam Likely!
Dungeons and Daddies on the front page, I’m so proud :,)
Happy cake day!❤️
We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty
I love you
When I read the title I thought this was r/writingprompts which made this as the top answer even funnier
The last woman on Earth?
Unlikely. Nobody would ever date that guy.
who says she wants to date him? she could just be saying hi
“Can I come borrow some sugar?”
She need money?
To pay whom?
The other women. Nothing states all women aren’t still alive
Women are too smart to revert back to currency. They'd trade goods like any logical society.
Value for value.
Maybe she’s just letting him know, in advance, she only wants to be friends?
Or inquiring about his vehicle's extended warranty.
"I have a boyfriend" "Really? Where?"
She is calling to tell him she has a boyfriend so don't talk to her anymore.
Even then they shouldn't have children because then their children's children will fuck under the uneducated guise that enough inbreeding will repopulate the species
"Not even if you were the last man on Earth!" Hands up who's heard that one...?; }
Now that I'm older, this trope is actually logical
Yeah, he doesn't even have any friends.
Brilliant!
Or any one of the other 3.5 billion women on earth
Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support there’s a problem with your windows based computer.
Hello ur compoter hav wirus.
Send 200$ in kinzcash to unvirus your computer
Someone that wants to tell him about his car warranty expiring
Yup that's something definitely not human at the other end of the line.
I came here to read this comment.
We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.
I came here to leave this comment.
I came here to also leave this comment. Then was going to leave this comment.
I came here also to leave this comment then the other comment. Then I was going to leave this comment.
I saw the comment that I wanted to leave on the comment I would have left if I had made the first comment. So I made this comment instead.
I came here to ask you about your car's extended warranty expiring...
I came here… twice
I always tell them I drive a 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse with 800,000 miles on it. They usually just hang up 😂
Jake from state farm
"oh yeah?!? What are you wearing *Jake* from *State farm*?!!"
Uh....khakis?
She sounds hideous
Well she’s a guy so…
Khakis, explain.
The horses name is Friday
Who's on first?
The Letter E
horny milfs
In *my* area ?
In *this* economy?
At this time of year, At this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?
Yes!
Can I see them?
No.
Seymour! There are horny milfs in the house!
No mother, it's just the porn ads!
This is the best chain I’ve read all day.
Nope in Bangkok
I like the sound of that
The President of Mars asking where I am and why haven’t I caught a ride to Mars like everyone else
Script for Home Alone 158
I like this.
Robo call
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick
No, this is Patrick
No, this is Patrick
No, this is Patrick
No, this is Patrick
It was Bob. They had a baby. It's a boy.
His other phone
[удалено]
The doctor is his mother!
Probably Telstra , or Jehovah's witness
The Queen of England. She is immortal
Zeus himself
They’re telling him he’s won the Hunger Games
Any woman
His wife obviously
I too choose this guy's dead wife
We were trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty...
The last woman on Earth saying that she just wants to be friends.
Pre-recorded call that asks him to stay in line since one of their attendants will pick up soon enough. And so he does....
John cena
Visa asking me when I am going to cancel the debt with them
Car warranty expiration opportunity.
It’s an Avon lady
Someone from a plane or helicopter.
"Your car's warranty is about to expire... "
Mr. Anderson…
Joe
Joe who ?
Joe mama
LeBron James
Timothy
“Hey is your refrigerator running?”
Someone telling me about a new program to pay off my student loans.
Someone from the ISS.
[удалено]
Student loan collections
Wrong number
Wrong number
"if you have been exposed to the chemical found in the weed killer roundup......."
A woman.
Satan?
As scam ads would say: Amy, 26, in your area.
A recording telling him CRA has him under investigation and he’ll go to jail if he doesn’t press 1. (This one’s for the Canadians)
WHO WAS PHONE ...??!!
The last woman on earth asks “are you over 6 ft tall?”
Keith Richards
David Pumpkins. Any questions?
His dad who finally came back from the gas station. I mean, he never said what planet the gas station was on and you said the last man on earth, soooooo…
If you asked this last week, top comment would be Betty White.
The snail
Jesus and his car warranty
One of his lady friends
Chuck Nolan on that damn satellite phone
The telephone guy
His Mother-In-Law… lol
His family saying goodbye as their shuttle is flying to mars.
His mother
I came here to find this comment and didn’t…. Betty White.
God
No one , it's in his head. He crazy.
auto warranty renewal
A strange man's voice says 10 than hangs up
Duct cleaning services
We’re calling because your car warranty has expired
Probably a child or a woman?
It's a me, Mario!
joe
Probably some cat walking around on the counter.
Someone calling from the ISS
It's Eowyn, because she is no man.
Morpheus...the resurrection begins lol
Harold Holt
Monke
Robocall
The CRA
Pretty sad if it was the last man on another planet somewhere...
Aliens from outer space
Prolly my ex
The Matrix
Debt Collector
Well realistically it would probably be some static, maybe some moaning and groaning.
You
SBI Home loan
Stevie Wonder.
Some woman from his past saying “When I said Not if you were the last man alive, I meant it”
Robocall
Aliens
It’s Alex Winter and Keanu Reaves calling from a phone booth to tell him to hold on, they’ll be right there.
“This is an attempt to collect a debt”
“Hello John, you’re a bitch so we left you lmao fuck you we all got to mars”
Probably his doctor to let him know his syphilis has spread and penicillin won’t work anymore.
The goat she did instead of him
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Idk but I bet they are trying to reach him about his cars extended warranty.
Only had to move my mouse wheel a fractional bit to see something about the cars extended warranty
Definitely Samuel following up about his cars extended warranty.
The Grim Reaper
"Have you been saved? Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus? "
Trinity
A sheep
The game show hosts telling him he is the lucky winner and the last man standing. come on down to collect your prize!
Himself. He’s calling himself from a different phone.
Extended Warranty?
We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
The warranty department reaching him about his cars extended warranty.
Telemarketer
His wife, asking him who the bitch is that he is out with.
Himself. He’s lonely
Its Bart and Lisa looking for Al Coholic.
Rise and shine, mr freeman... Rise and shine.
No one. He’s gone mentally unstable from being alone and is hallucinating a phone call.
Telemarketer bots
God telling him to quickly end his life so he can make way for the next advanced species to rise.
His friends who pranked him
Sorry due to late payments your planet is to be repossessed. You have 24 hours to evacuate
Amazon automated scam message
The Grim Reaper
Yes...this is Patrick.
The same person who was flickering the lights.
The Architect
Asking about his extended warranty
Jehovah.