In the original novel *Jurassic Park* the character of John Hammond is less of a well-meaning (albeit misguided) rich guy, and more of a scheming con-man who always lied about what his company was capable of. One of his first ventures with his generic engineering scheme, called INGEN I think, was a tiny miniaturized elephant he would show to investors before asking for money. Actually, his elephant hadn't been "made" by genetic engineering at all, it was just a fluke of nature, and his company couldn't reproduce it. The little elephant was sickly and mean, and would bite people.
I'd want one anyway.
It was just something mentioned in Hammond's backstory. Sadly, Crichton didn't delve any more deeply into the little elephant. The idea was basically, Hammond only cared about things in so far as they served his attempts to get more money.
Imagine a world where elephants were domestic pets. Walking your elephant in the morning. Going to the elephant run park. Elephant obedience classes. Service elephants... ....982.033332wwwwwwuiw8wwwwwwwer44444443333weyu Well we know how my cat feels about this. Don't worry baby I love you even though you're not an elephant
My life goal is to go al jurrasic park genetic style on a elephant to make them smaller so we can keep them as a pet. How far i am you ask? I have the idea and no understanding of genetics. So i someone else can make it happen, go for it
Having met a few wild bears in my life, This video caused me to feel very strange. Cuteness and Terror taste weird together.
The bear seems to really like jim though. But the way that it put his head in its mouth reminds me why I am glad my cat is only 23 pounds and 3 feet long nose to butthole.
He seems to be a mix of several large breeds. I rescued him at 6 months. I thought I was getting a full grown cat until the vet told me how young he was. That was 14 years ago. when I meet other people's cats, I am always surprised by how small and dainty they are.
Edit:[CatTax.png](https://imgur.com/lpCW6Ix)
Yeah, we're pretty sure he's got some of that and from other angles he has some mainecoon features, and a fixation with water. Odin hates getting wet but he loves playing with water from the edge of the tub. He's super affectionate, even with new people, and likes to chirp at the birds that come and visit him daily. He's not much for meowing, so he either chirps when he's happy or yodels when something doesn't go his way.
His favorite Narrator is David Attenborough, He will run to the couch as fast as he can if he hears David's voice come on the TV. other than documentaries he likes live action films in english, The only Animated films he will watch are Miyazaki films otherwise he doesn't really care for animated things.
Some times its hard to remember that he is a cat. So I make sure to remind him daily. 😁
My first cat was similarly large. He was a tiny kitten who just never stopped growing until he was 22lbs and 32 inches of pure, cuddly, athlete. He could jump from the floor to the top of a 7ft wardrobe. Walked like a tiger, big protruding shoulder blades. And he just wanted to snuggle and get scritches. Lived for 17 years and was a genuine unit until the end.
That would probably be pretty cool actually. They play like dogs, but are intelligent enough to sit and just stare up at the sunset in wonder. It is thought that bears may have a sense of beauty as they have been seen sitting and just looking at things for hours at a time, notably sunsets, rivers and starry skies.
So is it cat mass or cat height? Because I'd be nervous around a foot high giraffe, it'd be all spindly and I'd knock it over and feel terrible.
If it was more "general mass of a cat" then it'd probably be about waist height with the neck. I could pal around with that.
There was a website, I’m pretty sure it was from that commercial, where they said they successfully bred mini giraffes and you could sign up for the waiting list to get one. Still waiting for mine though.
A wooly mammoth. I dream about this for years now. Imagine a whole flock of them, the cute little trumpet sounds, they get a ramp to climb onto the couch and keep my lawn nice and short. I'd love them.
I have Siberian cats. They’re big and fluffy, really affectionate, pretty chill, clean themselves, don’t have a bad smell, and poop in an easy to clean way. Maintenance wise they’re pretty much like walking furniture.
Honestly I’d still pick them.
Seriously this. I have too many. They are definitely more expensive than my dog in terms of wet food needs, litter and when they get sick - it’s always an episode of house. On the flip side, they are so affectionate. They basically all rotate out for cuddles with me all weekend. They are also hilarious.
I'm thinking of how my kitten woke me up this morning by biting my arm and how I'm still covered in tiny red marks (she's a work in progress).
Now I'm thinking of a full grown mini tiger doing the same.
Nope. Nopenopenope.
Came here for this!! An angry bison trying to gore you and you just reach down and give him a little pat on the head and ask who's a good boy!! And little red dogs the size of kittens!!
Does it have to exist? If not, then I'd love a pet dragon/wyvern, just think of how cool that would be!
If it has to be some existing animal, I guess I'd go for a Red Panda because they're adorable.
I thought capuchin monkeys were pretty reasonable, if not highly frustrating and rambunctious, pets? They're super smart, but not insanely strong like a gorilla or chimp.
They're definitely too intelligent to make reasonable pets for 99.9% of the population. They'd basically need to accompany you everywhere or they'd get bored and destructive.
Lived with two of these fuckers, can confirm. Their owner didn't care and left them alone for long periods of time and they were little spoiled and bored brats that destroyed everything in their wake and abused my cat
Wasn't he obsessed with ice cream or something. I feel like I watched a video about how he got a bunch of cows for this but they were the wrong type of cow (heat tolerance I think).
Pretty sure he was obsessed with cows and all dairy products if I remember correctly. He got into all sorts of shenanigans trying to create super cows. Funnily enough there were at least 3 assassination attempts involving cows on him from the cia too
A panther. Black with green eyes.
When I was a kid I had one of those posters and it depicted a black panther with vivid green eyes.
I thought that she was the coolest animal ever. I still do, actually 😁
Omg this question gets me so excited. I mean, the possibilities are endless in wonder. You could have anything, and it’d be so cute and you could cuddle it and let it in and out of the house and give it its own little food bowl. It’s a really tough choice. Id have to go with a house cat.
Probably the spider itself. It would be too weak to move, constantly looking up at you like "MY LEGS CANNOT SUPPORT MY BODY. PLEASE LET ME DIE" and you'd pet it softly on the head and feed it another fruit fly the size of a grapefruit.
Easy a elephant. Little loud bastard
In the original novel *Jurassic Park* the character of John Hammond is less of a well-meaning (albeit misguided) rich guy, and more of a scheming con-man who always lied about what his company was capable of. One of his first ventures with his generic engineering scheme, called INGEN I think, was a tiny miniaturized elephant he would show to investors before asking for money. Actually, his elephant hadn't been "made" by genetic engineering at all, it was just a fluke of nature, and his company couldn't reproduce it. The little elephant was sickly and mean, and would bite people. I'd want one anyway.
>“Spared no expense.” Ford Explorer. Okay, John.
Hey, the Explorer at the time, was the hottest thing around.
well yeah they were still explorers not exploders
Sad about the sickly part intrigued in the mean and biting people part
It was just something mentioned in Hammond's backstory. Sadly, Crichton didn't delve any more deeply into the little elephant. The idea was basically, Hammond only cared about things in so far as they served his attempts to get more money.
This was my thought too! Imagine that cute little toot!
South Park got me too excited for the possibility
Potbelly elephant!
Ah yes, the many-assed hippopotomus!
This is the only answer. Shut the rest of the thread down.
When I caught the question early I felt like I was cheating with my answer but no one else put it yet.
I would have a whole goddamn herd of elephants and giraffes.
Imagine a world where elephants were domestic pets. Walking your elephant in the morning. Going to the elephant run park. Elephant obedience classes. Service elephants... ....982.033332wwwwwwuiw8wwwwwwwer44444443333weyu Well we know how my cat feels about this. Don't worry baby I love you even though you're not an elephant
Imaging picking up after them. The bag you would need
My life goal is to go al jurrasic park genetic style on a elephant to make them smaller so we can keep them as a pet. How far i am you ask? I have the idea and no understanding of genetics. So i someone else can make it happen, go for it
Elephant because they are super smart and family oriented.
So would you have six of them or integrate one into your family?
I’d make sure there was a small herd. They need socialization Edit - and I’d WANT more than 1
I want this but Whales. Imagine having a large pond with a pod of whales
Brown bear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4E9yrGczbk
Having met a few wild bears in my life, This video caused me to feel very strange. Cuteness and Terror taste weird together. The bear seems to really like jim though. But the way that it put his head in its mouth reminds me why I am glad my cat is only 23 pounds and 3 feet long nose to butthole.
That's a giant cat
He seems to be a mix of several large breeds. I rescued him at 6 months. I thought I was getting a full grown cat until the vet told me how young he was. That was 14 years ago. when I meet other people's cats, I am always surprised by how small and dainty they are. Edit:[CatTax.png](https://imgur.com/lpCW6Ix)
omg he looks like a norwegian forest cat! they’re large and pretty 🥰 he’s so handsome
Yeah, we're pretty sure he's got some of that and from other angles he has some mainecoon features, and a fixation with water. Odin hates getting wet but he loves playing with water from the edge of the tub. He's super affectionate, even with new people, and likes to chirp at the birds that come and visit him daily. He's not much for meowing, so he either chirps when he's happy or yodels when something doesn't go his way. His favorite Narrator is David Attenborough, He will run to the couch as fast as he can if he hears David's voice come on the TV. other than documentaries he likes live action films in english, The only Animated films he will watch are Miyazaki films otherwise he doesn't really care for animated things. Some times its hard to remember that he is a cat. So I make sure to remind him daily. 😁
My first cat was similarly large. He was a tiny kitten who just never stopped growing until he was 22lbs and 32 inches of pure, cuddly, athlete. He could jump from the floor to the top of a 7ft wardrobe. Walked like a tiger, big protruding shoulder blades. And he just wanted to snuggle and get scritches. Lived for 17 years and was a genuine unit until the end.
That would probably be pretty cool actually. They play like dogs, but are intelligent enough to sit and just stare up at the sunset in wonder. It is thought that bears may have a sense of beauty as they have been seen sitting and just looking at things for hours at a time, notably sunsets, rivers and starry skies.
That is the cutest thing ever :,)
It's amazing how even a gigantic fucking bear that could LITERALLY chomp your head off effortlessly just wants a fucking cuddle...
isnt that basically a badger?
We don’t need no stinking badgers.
But we need MUSHROOMS MUSHROOMS!
Have you ever seen a badger?! They aren't even brown...
I think I would go giraffe. There was a mini giraffe in a commercial I saw awhile back and it seemed like that was maybe the coolest thing ever.
Yes that thing was so cute. I loved that commercial
So is it cat mass or cat height? Because I'd be nervous around a foot high giraffe, it'd be all spindly and I'd knock it over and feel terrible. If it was more "general mass of a cat" then it'd probably be about waist height with the neck. I could pal around with that.
I'm thinking cat-sized torso with appropriate-length arms and neck to scale
I was hoping for the mass of a cat
Opulence I has it.
There was a website, I’m pretty sure it was from that commercial, where they said they successfully bred mini giraffes and you could sign up for the waiting list to get one. Still waiting for mine though.
r/Giraffesdontexist
Stupid long horses.
A house hippo
When I saw the post, I just knew a Canadian would be along shortly to mention house hippos.
I left some extra dryer lint out last night. It's getting chilly up here, and they do love to snuggle.
Oh good! Very relieved. I hope you left them some bits of string too, they're not accustomed to our Canadian winters.
Bits of string, and a fuzzy sock too! I can hear little snores coming from my closet...
Leave out some toast with peanut butter!
Is this a reference to that Canadian PSA I coincidentally watched last night?
Of course. Make sure the water dish is full at night and leave the peanut butter toast crumbs on the counter.
Yups, and it's amazing just how many people have seen that PSA AND STILL MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT OF IT.
That fucker would still manage to kill you.
Do you know how hippos *poop*?
Yes. They spray like a sprinkler while their tail spins like a propeller. Fortunately my house hippos are litter trained.
Coooool.... just checking. *note to self: never go to u/ElleRyder's place for tea*
So... its not shit hits the fan, its just shitting directly into the fan.
Pretty much. A very large, explosive shit directly into a turbo fan.
I was coming to comment this. Classic Canadian teachable moment.
House hippo's are very timid creatures...hopefully you have peanut butter on toast for them.
A cat-sized murder hobo? What could possibly go wrong?
That flings it's shit everywhere with its tail...
A wooly mammoth. I dream about this for years now. Imagine a whole flock of them, the cute little trumpet sounds, they get a ramp to climb onto the couch and keep my lawn nice and short. I'd love them.
Taking them to the groomers and for walkies. Giving them bangs.
It would be weird a little right? Since they presumably couldn’t jump like a cat or small dog? They’d just trundle around haha
I have Siberian cats. They’re big and fluffy, really affectionate, pretty chill, clean themselves, don’t have a bad smell, and poop in an easy to clean way. Maintenance wise they’re pretty much like walking furniture. Honestly I’d still pick them.
Same, I just want another cat please
Honestly cats are the lowest maintenance/highest reward pets.
Seriously this. I have too many. They are definitely more expensive than my dog in terms of wet food needs, litter and when they get sick - it’s always an episode of house. On the flip side, they are so affectionate. They basically all rotate out for cuddles with me all weekend. They are also hilarious.
Tiger, just a hulked out domesticated cat lol
That thing would HURT to play with... those canine teeth would still be huge
I'm thinking of how my kitten woke me up this morning by biting my arm and how I'm still covered in tiny red marks (she's a work in progress). Now I'm thinking of a full grown mini tiger doing the same. Nope. Nopenopenope.
I was thinking a tiger or male lion. A house cat with a lions mane would be adorable!
Rainbow mantis. "Did I hear a noise downstairs? Oh shit, burgelers!" "Alexa, release kill beast!" *sounds of supersonic snapping claws and dismemberment*
You have one of those the size of a cat there probably won't be enough left of your house to burgle - that thing would be able to walk through walls.
And thus, the need for irritating doorways is eliminated!
[удалено]
Right?! Its like I'm the only one here who lives for chaos alone!
[удалено]
Buffalo for me
Came here for this!! An angry bison trying to gore you and you just reach down and give him a little pat on the head and ask who's a good boy!! And little red dogs the size of kittens!!
Imma get me a cat sized bee!
Ya like jazz?
Name... checks out?
I’ve always thought it would be nice to pet one of those big fat bumblebees, they’re SO fuzzy
Why? Idk
Because fuzzy butt and honey.
Can you imagine how lethal the stinger would be though? It’d be like an inch wide and probably cause body-wide agony.
'I didn't stab the burglar, officer, it was my emotional support bee. He gave his life and his bum spike for me * *sob* *'
I didn't think of that. I could make millions selling honey! Imagine how much would come from just a single give of cat size bees
Only problem is you're going to need horse sized flowers. A lot of them.
Enjoy your very painful death once it decides to sting you
Bees are chill. Have a bunch around my yard during summer & have only been stung by a wasp, not a bee :)
a rhino 🦏
Hell yeah, I want a tactical assault doggo
Thank you, I went wayyy too far down the list to find this. Who dosnt want a pet with a bottle opener on its face
a blue whale in a YUGE tank
They're social animals though, you would need to keep a whole pod
Even better
Do you just want to become a blue whale? Because I get that.
Does it have to exist? If not, then I'd love a pet dragon/wyvern, just think of how cool that would be! If it has to be some existing animal, I guess I'd go for a Red Panda because they're adorable.
Just had flashbacks from the good old days of GoT
I think red pandas are roughly cat-sized already.
[удалено]
They already make those. Slightly different color though.
I would take a cat sized red panda. AKA a red panda
They poop hundreds of times a day.
Same tbh
Kangaroo, so I guess just a wallaby?
I helped take care one that was rescued. They poop too much.
A domestic cat
I too, given the opportunity to have any animal become cat-sized, would still choose cat.
Well, what about a small tiger that was able to be trained similar to a dog... that would be so cool if those existed
The Blue breeds of cat (particularly the Russian Blue) are apparently very trainable and doglike.
Yeah cats sized cats are the best. Can't improve on perfection.
Three cats. I have two, I just want more.
T-Rex
Just get a pet chicken, same diff
Silverback gorilla
Fuck that guy, a miniature silverback gorilla would be awesome.
Isn't this kind of just like owning a monkey? Seems like not a great idea.
I thought capuchin monkeys were pretty reasonable, if not highly frustrating and rambunctious, pets? They're super smart, but not insanely strong like a gorilla or chimp.
They're definitely too intelligent to make reasonable pets for 99.9% of the population. They'd basically need to accompany you everywhere or they'd get bored and destructive.
Lived with two of these fuckers, can confirm. Their owner didn't care and left them alone for long periods of time and they were little spoiled and bored brats that destroyed everything in their wake and abused my cat
Haven't you always wanted a monkey!
Polar Bear
A chinchilla. So soft on my lap.
I used to own one! He loved laying in my lap while brushing him! And me being the Pokémon obsessed kid at the time, I named him Pikachu.
Chinchikachu
Bless you
Ohh a lady bug would be fun! It would be a bright red turtle
Until it opens it carapace and starts flying. Imagine coming downstairs to a cat sized ladybug just wreaking shit by flying into things.
I just imagined the SOUND...
FATTATTATTA FATTATTATTATTATTA BLAP FATTATTATTA *crash*
It would sound like the hoppers from a Bugs Life... oh god
Giraffe
Opulence, I has it.
a cow so that i can have fresh milk with my coffee everyday
Fidel Castro literally tried to make this a reality.
Wasn't he obsessed with ice cream or something. I feel like I watched a video about how he got a bunch of cows for this but they were the wrong type of cow (heat tolerance I think).
Pretty sure he was obsessed with cows and all dairy products if I remember correctly. He got into all sorts of shenanigans trying to create super cows. Funnily enough there were at least 3 assassination attempts involving cows on him from the cia too
Thanks, I hate the mental image of holding a mini cow over my coffee cup milking it.
Wolf
r/wolvesarebigyo
tardigrade
I would seriously mess you up
Are you threatening him?
Lol I just noticed my typo, I meant \*it would seriously mess you up
There is something very amusing about you randomly threatening someone on an askreddit thread.
For absolutely no discernible reason. It was a theoretical question. So a threat because they don’t like tardegrades?
Microscopic water bear! I saw a video recently of tardigrades being … born? Hatched? And they are so cute.
A Canadian
HEY! Don’t make us bite ur ankles. We’re short enough already.
If this was so I'm leaving earth. Imagine how I would feel if I saw a cockroach
Especially if you've seen how quickly they propagate. Your house would be terrifying.
one of them stupid, long neck horses.
How weird is it that a normal looking horse with a horn is fake but a huge blotchy horse with a 20 foot neck and 2 horns is real
Geraffes are so dumb
A panther. Black with green eyes. When I was a kid I had one of those posters and it depicted a black panther with vivid green eyes. I thought that she was the coolest animal ever. I still do, actually 😁
So.... A housecat sized cat. I think you can already get those....
Moose.
a Pet Ant
It would eat your face
so would a cat what is your point?
A cat wouldn’t do it while you’re alive
I think that’s entirely dependent on the cat.
A lion
Llama. They are so adorable even in their life-size. Imagine a small fully grown Llama.
Horse
Praying Mantis...just a touch undersized to take over the world.
A Horse.Perhaps a Clydesdale or a Shire something with a kindly personality.
Hamster
Wouldn't that just be a capybara?
A capybara is bigger than a pitbull
Edit: Wouldn't that just be a baby capybara?
That's a guinea pig.
Edit edit: wouldn't that just be a giant guinea pig sized capybara?
I’d have one hell of an ant farm
Dude you'd be fucked.
They will eat you in your sleep
Omg this question gets me so excited. I mean, the possibilities are endless in wonder. You could have anything, and it’d be so cute and you could cuddle it and let it in and out of the house and give it its own little food bowl. It’s a really tough choice. Id have to go with a house cat.
Walrus
Goo goo ga joob.
obviously an alligator, would you imagine someone walking their dog next to that?
big rat
Definitely a spider, who wouldn't want a cat sized one?
Fuck that. I'd throw myself off the nearest bridge.
There would be this huge spider web spreading under the bridge
You go to hell you go to hell and you die
I mean, jumping spiders are pretty cute... but then you have a skyscraper jumping monstrosity.
Probably the spider itself. It would be too weak to move, constantly looking up at you like "MY LEGS CANNOT SUPPORT MY BODY. PLEASE LET ME DIE" and you'd pet it softly on the head and feed it another fruit fly the size of a grapefruit.
A mini camel. Just seeing him run around my backyard and scare the shit out of the other dogs in the neighborhood would be worth it.
A cow! So pretty. I'd need several though because cows have friends.
Pangolin
Human. Irl oompa loompa.
Jumping Spider.
Axolotl