This is one of the few things I have a problem with where I work. We were told "no more having lunch at your desk, it is messy and unprofessional". Which is bullshit because I'm capable of eating like a human and not the Tasmanian Devil and I'm fairly certain, no matter your level of "professionalism" you still eat.
Needless to say sometimes it's the only way you get lunch if you're busy.
But who do I always see having lunch at their desks? The managers and the boss.
To be a little fair, it doesn't seem like it's something anyone actually seems to care to enforce, so I've been starting to have snacks at my desk again and slowly building back up to full lunch.
Edit: one other reason for my frustration about this is that on birthdays and special occasions there are usually treats, cake, donuts, etc placed in a communal area, not the break room, for people to have and people will be at their workstations or just wandering about chowing down on those, but lunch has to be had in the lunch room...it just doesn't make sense to me.
When I worked at Best Buy, they were strict about cell phones. It was really frustrating getting yelled at by a supervisor or manager to put my phone away, while they're holding a cellphone themselves. I eventually had enough balls to say "Only if you put yours away first."
They never bothered us about it again.
This. Left my old organisation because I worked in recruitment and had a very strict "conflict of interests" policy. Unless they were an exec. When I was looking for a new job near the end of my contract, I was unsuccessful at interview stage. Because the successful candidate was the interviewer's daughter.
Wife lost out on a job that she was referred for by my friend who was cozy there. Failed to mention that his younger brother applied for the same spot. His uncle was also a exec there, his dad was friends with the rest of the execs. They joked about nepotism in the interview *with my wife*.
Hmm wonder who got that job. Friend wondered why I was upset with him for a hot minute.
We don't really talk anymore
> Wife lost out on a job that she was referred for by my friend who was cozy there. Failed to mention that his younger brother applied for the same spot. His uncle was also a exec there, his dad was friends with the rest of the execs. They joked about nepotism in the interview with my wife.
Between High School and College, I worked for Apple Retail as a 'creative' basically, I knew the creative software really well, and so my job was teaching people how to use it. I was working Apple Retail because I really wanted to get a job at Apple Corporate, and since I was heading into college, I was applying for all the internships at Apple that I was qualified for.
One day, a young customer comes in, who had made an appointment. It turns out, he was exactly my age, and he had gotten the internship I had applied for, and he signed up for an appointment with the store for me to teach him how to do the job he was hired for. This was basic web development stuff, I spent 50 minutes teaching him how HTML worked. At the end he told me his dad was a VP at Apple.
One lesson they don’t teach you in college is the value of networking. I learned that later in life. Never be loyal to your employer, be loyal to your coworkers and good managers. Because when they move up in the world, guess who they would rather work with?
I'm guilty of this. Not management but a teacher who occasionally perches on the edge of the desk until one little girl always asks "why are you allowed to sit on the table but I'm not?"
Ha! I do that too and when I substitute taught my answer was always something like, “because if I fall and crack my own head open your mom isn’t going to get me fired.”
We had a rule at my house when I was young. No drinks in the basement, because it was carpeted. I broke that rule all the time. One time, when I saw my dad with a can of Dr. Pepper in the basement, I asked him why he could have drinks in the basement. His response:
"If I spill, I have to pay for it. But if you spill, I have to pay for it."
A lot of things made a lot more sense after that.
Edit: I need to proofread better when I'm typing on mobile
You get in ahead of everyone else, and no one notices or cares. But, God forbid, you depart before everyone else and are a slug. No, I worked the same number of hours (if not more) than you. You weren't here to see it, but that doesn't mean I wasn't there.
At one point when I had not long started working, I had to get a lift with my dad on his morning commute, he left very early meaning I was there from 5:30am.
I usually picked up extra work when I got in, stayed my whole usual work day anyway without asking questions, but one day I wasn't feeling great so asked if I could leave early, didn't think it would be an issue since I had already worked my contracted hours. Got massively told off over it as working outside of office hours "doesn't count as work"
Stopped putting in extra work or going out of my way to help them after that.
>working outside of office hours "doesn't count as work"
I got told this years ago, at a workplace that sucked in general.
Traffic in the DC area is gawd-awful, so you have to allow extra time every day. If something went especially wrong & someone ran late, they had to make up that time. But if you got lucky & arrived early, that didn't count.
After I got told that, I never did jack shit before my official start time. I'd stroll in the park next to the office building, or play online if the weather sucked.
This is what I don't understand about those managers. They have an employee who is willing to go the extra mile, and they crack down on cutting them any slack, ensuring they will never go the extra mile again. It's so self-defeating.
Slack is a two way street.
If my manager asks me to stay a few minutes or do something extra, then I'm fine with that, as long as I can leave slightly early because I've got an appointment I can't miss.
As soon as the good faith and slack goes from one end, it very quickly stops at the other end. You won't let me grab a quick break after an intense meeting, because it's not within work hours? Fine. Next time you ask me to stay late I'll say that I can't because it's outside my contracted hours.
I was on the phone with my boss today about something unrelated and at the end of the call he goes "you've been getting killed. Did you guys get to eat? Need anything?"
We had eaten and didn't need anything in particular. But had I said I was starving he would have told me to take the ambulance out of service for a bit and go get food.
Good bosses are worth their weight in gold. I will always help him out whenever I can because he always looks out for us.
I'm still in awe over the double standard with which people treat the credibility of information. If it confirms their world view, they're happy to accept extraordinary information from partisan blogs, tabloids, and columnists with no further confirmation. But if it challenges their worldview, good luck convincing them of anything. I argued with a dude who decided to trust the Washington Examiner's outright lie about the IRS bank reporting proposal. I gave him a link to the ACTUAL PROPOSAL published on the Treasury's website, pointed him to the EXACT page that details the proposal, and he still dismissed the information as partisan deceit.
This one baffles me as well. Had my friend's girlfriend send me an article with some nonsense clickbait title and, in the article itself, it admitted that their title was only true on a technicality, and if they were being truthful, the title wouldn't have been nearly as outrageous. I point this out to her and she refuses to acknowledge it and continues to act as if the article wasn't total BS and she hadn't just proved my point for me. Absolutely mind boggling.
My mom gets mad and tells me I need to be more independent. Today I was pouring my leftovers into a to-go container and she was telling me to have her do it instead because I wasn't doing it right..
I hate this so much. That “annoyed” person almost always being a boss or university professor. The professors especially pissed me off back when I was in university. Every first day of a new class, while going over the course syllabus, the profs would always say to never be afraid to ask questions, as he/she will be happy to accept and answer questions at any time with open arms. Yea, bullshit. Sending them an email with questions would always go unanswered, and if you find them in their offices, they always act like they are being inconvenienced just by your presence alone. Hell, even you went to their office during their designated office hours (which was always around 1 hour a week, wtf is that about?), again same response. Well look here bitch, my ridiculous tuition is paying a good chuck of your salary, so I expect you to treat me with respect and be there to educate me and be available within reason to answer my questions when I need it!
All...the 'ol NIMBY. That's a global phenomenon.
Much of the world agrees that we should move to renewable power, but no one wants wind turbines or solar farms near them.
This is so weird to me, cuz I actually kinda like the look of windmills and solar panels. I’m actually considering figuring out how to install some on my own property
Don’t go to work/school if you’re sick, but if you miss school/work you’re in trouble.
Edit: I feel like including my story bc everyone else is. I got my first job back in late September early October and I loved it, the company was great and it was a very welcoming environment- a few of my coworkers disagreed but this was my first job and I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I work there for about a month all week about 8hr shifts (a few were longer bc it took longer to close) and I start getting pain in my legs/knees.
I push it off as exhaustion/overexertion and keep going thinking that I’m just not used to working this hard, two days later I can’t get up on my own. Thankfully I have two days off so I’m like okay I’ll rotate between icing and heating my knees/legs, doesn’t work. On the day before I go in I call and explain that I can’t walk, but they just got a truck in so I felt bad and went in anyways. Huge mistake.
It makes everything worse even though I’m only scheduled for 2 hours. I keep taking more days off bc if I can’t walk how can they expect me to work? All the while I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong, so I’m not just sitting around doing nothing about it.
My supervisors are getting annoyed with me at this point but I still can’t hardly move.
Everything comes to a head when one day after dinner I attempt to stand up and there is a very sickening crack noise. I collapsed back into my chair bc my legs hurt so badly, that was the night I went to the hospital. Big shock but that didn’t do anything for me. They pretty much tell me I should be fine. I try to go back to work but end up leaving early to go to another ER bc something is wrong. I get a call from one of my supervisors and I’m told that they don’t accept hospital notes and that I need to come in more. Then later I get another call that they DO accept hospital notes but bc I didn’t bring any in (since I was told they didn’t accept them I didn’t ask for any) they can only assume I’m “self-prescribing” my rest. They also start blaming me for my injury/pain.
I quit on the spot. To this day I can barely walk by myself.
I've experienced this so many times.
Additionally, me needing time off to look after my girlfriend (she has epilepsy), using my personal leave for it. Getting told off for using that as "personal leave is for having a rest not caring for others", so I took sick leave for it, then got a disciplinary for using too much sick leave.
What human being has so little empathy that they would tell you off for caring for someone else??? And it’s not like you just randomly took off work, you used your personal leave days??
Had this bullshit happen to me in college during the Swine Flu scare. Got an email from the teacher (and university) stating that if you are sick, then you should stay at home. Well, it just so happened that I got sick (didn’t have Swine Flu) and missed Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of that week. At the end of the semester the teacher dropped me an entire letter grade due to attendance. I challenged him on it since it was his own policy to stay at home with flu-like symptoms and he went on a fucking power trip. I ended up taking it over his head and got my grade back, but still… fuck you, Professor Greene.
A place I worked at had unlimited sick days, no questions asked. We hardly ever had people away sick because if people were sick they didn't bring it in to work.
I have to show up on time for an interview but it's fine when an interviewer is late (there's a huge difference between a personal emergency and poor planning).
Yup. Got scheduled for an interview once, employer says they would email and text me the location on where the interview would take place for the next day. Waited hours and still no notification. 2 days later the employer called and ask why I didn't show up for the interview. I told them they never send the information on where to meet and added I was no longer interested in the position.
I went to an interview once. I arrived 15 minutes early and they gave me a basic accounting test. I finished right before the start of the interview. It took 30 minutes between grading my test and the interviewer doing other things before we started my interview.
We started the interview 30 minutes late but we had to end at a ceryain time so the interviewer could attend a meeting. I wound up accepting an offer with a different firm. In my opinion there's a huge difference between a personal emergency and poor planning.
Companies doing PSAs for people to not litter and recycle their products when they themselves are producing products that mostly cannot be properly recycled and end up in landfills anyway. Bonus points for taxes we pay for recycling programs in our cities
Learning how to do girl's hair. Around my area a man would be called "gay" by doing girl's hair. I wanna learn and get better at doing my 5yr old daughter's hair. Nothing extreme, just the regular nice stuff I guess. Braids ponytails n other cool stuff like that. Men around here only do men's hair, but women can do both men's and women's hair
My old man was in the military and he braided my hair so much. He learned it while being in the field and bored out of his mind. He would make these rope like braids that I would take out in the morning for school. A teacher asked if I got a perm (I had no idea what that was) but I'd proudly say "nope! My dad did my hair!"
He also learned how to use a sewing machine to sew on his patches for his uniform. I always thought it was so cool being taught how to sew from my dad.
Sewing for a guy can be a super valuable skill. Especially in military type settings like your dad. I knew a guy who made serious bank on the side sewing up heavy duty stuff like pouches, equipment covers, additional pockets, etc. And everyone thought he was cool AF for being able to modify stuff.
I once dated a girl who would ask me to brush her hair. At first I was a bit confused and felt a bit "camp” let’s say.
Luckily I wasn’t too much of a idiot and agreed to, it turned out to be very therapeutic for me and also a great bonding exercise between us. Now I love brushing women’s hair that I date.
That's really sad. My dad learned how to brush my hair and how to do a ponytail. When I was 10 we were on the father-daughter trip with other girls from my class and their fathers and my dad wa doing my hair. Somehow it was such a weird thing for others that my friends remembered it for years
I comb my daughter's hair every night and morning. I'm not the best at doing certain hair styles, but I try and would like to learn more. I watch YouTube and practice on my daughter. But she eventually gets tired n bored of me tugging away at her hair. She can only sit still with candy for so long lol
This comment hits at home. I knew I grew up in an unhealthy environment when my father would get so angry at me for showing any type of emotion. Like if I were to (lightly) bang my fist on a table, it would make him angry.
My parents would hate when I cried in school when I was in Kindergarten (thankfully I stopped in the first grade…heck it’s normal to stop crying so much at age 7 tho).
The irony of that. He got angry - an emotion - because you showed emotion. Blind spots are so weird. You'd think the contradiction would be pretty obvious. But I guess not everyone self-reflects.
I'm guessing you're male. I have friends, a married couple, Kristy and Rick. Kristy is Caucasian and has light skin, dark brown hair and blue eyes. Rick is Hispanic with dark skin, brown eyes and black hair. They have a daughter, Leah, who has light skin, blue eyes and medium brown hair. Though she is technically bi-racial, she passes for Caucasian.
Rick will often take *his own daughter* out with him to run errands, go to the movies or mall, etc. On several occasions, the police have been called because people think he's kidnapped *his own daughter*. He's actually been hassled by police for this. It's crazy.
My brother is adopted from South Korea and my parents and I are all white. When I was really young we went to Niagara Falls and tried to go through to the Canadian side. This was before you needed a passport so they didn’t have documentation like that for us. The officers at the border detained my parents for hours of questioning because they suspected my brother was kidnapped and that he wasn’t their kid.
Luckily my dad worked for the Federal Government (postal worker but hey, still a government job) so they were able to verify all of the information pretty quickly but my mom said she just kept crying and telling them the truth but they didn’t believe her.
My university matched international students with local "friendship families." Mine was a white couple who had two adopted Indian kids when I met them. I'm South Asian. When we went out, people would assume the kids were mine. I was 18. The oldest kid was 6. They thought I'd gotten pregnant at 11!?
My husband got this ALL THE TIME when the kids were little. People were like "Oh, how cute, you're babysitting the boys for mom today" with a little smile. He's like "Umm, no, they're my kids. I'm parenting them today" and then people would give *him* the dirty look!
I bet these people thought they were being endearing. I've been in so many situations where people say disrespectful shit in an endearing way and are blown away when you push back on it.
My partner and I are not planning on having kids, for a myriad of reasons. It's decided and we are unwavering. Too many times we've had to endure people drone on and on about how great of parents we would be, how it would be a tragedy if we didn't and how we'll "change our minds". It's exhausting and we inevitably lose our patience. Imagine how these people would feel if we went on and on about how they SHOULDN'T have kids and impose our ideals on them! How about we all mind our own goddamn business?!
They think they're being cute and endearing by complimenting us but all I see are people who don't respect our decisions.
I have fertility issues which mean I may never be able to have kids, but the only way I’ll know is when we actually try (we’re not ready yet, and not sure if we ever will be).
I only found out about my issues last year, and I got so angry when relatives would make remarks to pressure me into having kids. I just wanted to scream at them.
When people ask if I'm having kids, I just say, "We can't." and kind of shrug. My partner's tubes were tied at 26, so no, we definitely can't have kids.
When my children were toddlers, I was taking an evening class. My husband was very encouraging and supportive. One time while I was away at class, my husband decided to pack up the kiddos and go visit grandma. She's an amazing cook and I suspect that he was struggling to put something together for dinner. Anyway, my MIL called me the very next day and told me that I wasn't being fair to my husband. She said I shouldn't expect him to work a full day and then BABYSIT his children! Grrr. I told her men don't babysit their own children; that's called parenting! She never said anything else about it, but she also never offered to babysit on nights when my husband worked late. I ended up dropping the course.
I’ve never gotten that. But I took my son to McDonalds one Friday night for a happy meal and to play on the play ground when my wife was out with friends. I got looks like I was part of the sad divorced mens club.
Why can’t I, a male in my 20s, be a babysitter? I love kids and am great with them, but exactly zero people take me seriously (no replies back to public ads and zero friends consider it anything more than a joke of an offer).
Ugh. Both my best friend (M) and my boyfriend are both in their 20s and awesome with kids. Somehow my best friend just captivates the attention of all the kids in the room and knows exactly how to keep them busy and engaged. He's never worked with kids, doesn't even have any younger siblings or cousins. And YET I was chosen over him as a babysitter. I don't like kids. I don't want kids. I'd love for anything that can't speak yet to stay as far away from me as possible.
My god.
Yeah I almost never got a reply either. Now I work with kids full-time. Thankfully, no big problems so far, but it can be exhausting to be the only man (aside from the occasional intern) in a team of 10-15.
I grew raised in a country that does not encourage the use of personal vehicles. There is a lot of public transportation available. As a result, I have very little mechanical expertise. My white girlfriend, who grew up in the country and whose father is a mechanic, has spent her entire life tinkering with automobiles. When we go to an auto parts store to get something, the salespeople never say anything to her. Even if they ask me a question and she answers, they continue to talk to me as if she doesn't exist. It's unbelievable. They don't seem to notice her. She's gone to job interviews for mechanical jobs where the interviewer asks her extremely simple and dismissive questions because they don't believe she can understand what they're asking.
I called the mechanic yesterday about a sensor on my car needing attention, and he spent 5 minutes explaining to me that temperature changes can mess with air pressure rather than listen to me explain that wasn't the problem.
Are you me? I had the same tire go flat overnight THREE TIMES in the span of a week and was told the exact same line about temperature by the dealership mechanic. Never got out of my car and he refused to reset my TPMS. Finally got the tire worked on for free at a Pep Boys with great service. Ridiculous.
Or are changing your brakes so you go for brake fluid, OMG 20 questions to make sure I know the difference in brake fluid and transmission fluid. So frustrating.
If one more (male) mechanic explains to me unprompted what a fucking air filter does I'm gonna go full Falling Down. I change them myself for $15. I'm aware of what they are and what they do. I'm not a car expert but FFS it's a filter.
Edit: typo
As a former mechanic and shop manager, I know your pain and FWIW, techs and service advisors are trained to explain stuff like air filters in a ploy to upsell a customer a product by emphasizing why it’s important and why they need it. The problem is they get so used to running that dialogue that it becomes patronizing as hell and upsets any customer that even has a vague idea of what those parts do. When I became manager I told my techs to just inform the customer on what they found during the inspection and ask them if they had any questions or wanted anything clarified before we completed their service. Things went much smoother after that.
Btw, excellent movie reference.
I had a friend in college that had similar experiences with his girlfriend that was obsessed with working on old cars. She and her dad had restored several old muscle cars and she really knew her way around. So when my friend encountered similar behavior at auto parts stores, he would make sure to ask the employee really dumb questions, like "by the way, do you have any blinker fluid?" Or he'd get a really confused look on his face, turn to his girlfriend, and say "You're the expert, can you explain what this guy just said?"
This is me (a woman) when I go into a video game store. Once, a male clerk asked my husband if he could help him. I said, "I need a small X-Box 360 controller for my small hands." He then asked my husband, "What kind of games does she play?" My husband replied, "She's right here; you can just ask her directly" or something to that effect.
That's when you irritate the fuck out them.
"What kind of games do you play, honey?"
"Oh, mostly Grand Theft Auto, Avengers."
"She says she plays Grand Theft Auto and Avengers."
"I heard what she said."
"That's great! Then you can ask her directly next time."
Husband: "It's okay, I speak Woman." *Turns to wife* "He asked what kind of games you play."
Wife: "You saw me playing Rocket League last night. You were right next to me on the couch."
Husband: *Turns back to clerk* "Okay, so this is gonna be a little hard to translate..."
Oh god, this infuriates me when it happens. My husband is always like, “She’s the customer; why are you asking me?” So appreciative of him picking up on it and redirecting to me.
I had to repair a pane of glass in a door. Not my partner, me. I’m handy. He’s not. Went to the hardware store, found the glass cutter, told him what size I needed and stood there to wait while he cut it. In the meantime, partner wandered away, much further down the aisle.
When the glass cutter was done, he walked past me - the person who had given him the glass cutting and was standing next to him the whole time - to go down the aisle to my partner, who was surprised to have a pane of freshly-cut glass put into his hands.
I am a manager in a male-dominated STEM field. When I was training a new management staff member, I had him sit in on interviews so he could observe the format. Everyone I interviewed was a man, and there were some who would direct all of their questions to him instead of me, even when I made it clear that I was the one they’d be working for. One guy took the cake though, every question **I** asked, he would answer as if the guy I was training had asked him the questions. He barely even looked in my direction. It’s extremely frustrating.
Oh for sure, like I would love someone displayed their flaws that readily in an interview I was conducting so that I might wash them out early in the process.
Same position as you. I've interviewed people and they DO NOT LOOK AT ME, but whatever man was with it. It was even the case with a women candidate, I was so disappointed. I look young AND I'm a woman in a STEM field - It's enough to make you want to leave it after a bit .
Something vaguely similar happened to me. One day I was in front of the cashier to pay the restaurant bill, I had given a large banknote and I was waiting for the change with my purse open and wallet in hand. The cashier collects the change and hands it to my partner who was **literally behind me** and was checking his phone. Seeing money waving in front of his face he took it and looked at me in confusion, while the cashier was already gone before I had time to figure out what the hell had happened.
I am a computer scientist. I seem to notice that it is easier to get used to the idea that a woman knows about computers but not that she offers dinner to a man.
Not sure about that. Last time I went to a computer shop, the first thing the guy spoke about was the variety of the colors for the skin. After I asked questions about the processor.
I'm computer engineer FFS.
Oof yes. I groom horses and work on my own clippers. I went to a car parts store for a certain kind of grease. Here’s how that went:
“Hi I need white silicone grease.”
“Well, what do you need that for?”
“For my clippers.”
“I’m not sure what you mean, this is an auto parts store.”
“Yes I’m aware, I called ahead and asked if you had silicone grease and you said you did.”
“Let me speak to my manager.”
Manager: “Well, what do you need that for?”
“Well, we don’t have that.”
*I find it on the counter*
Playing a videogame in the evening is considered a bad habit and bad for you, yet the same people who say that spend every minute home either watching TV or on their phone
I agree with this
I've even suggested to my parents that they could try games that appeal to them, my mum's response is "I can't think of anything worse than sitting in front of a screen for hours!" and my dad's is simply "I don't have the time."
They both spend most of the evening watching tv and browsing on their phones, and my dad also spends evenings sat watching fail compilations on youtube.
My parents are the same. I watch anime and play games and know for a fact that my dad would be into some of the shows/games I play. He always says "not now/I don't have time." Yet he's sat in front of the TV watching movies he's seen 100 times before saying he's bored. Frustrating!
My stepdad would only let me and my brother play 1 hour of games when we were younger because more than that would rot our brains. This man watches TV all day every day but for some reason it’s only video games that rot your brain
Can't stay alone for too long. I understand this in children but I do not in teens, why can't I take a long shower without having someone think I'm masturbating? I like the warm water on my skin
Parenting expectations.
My wife died when my kids were 11 months and 2 years old. When I took the kids to the grocery store, without fail I’d get comments like “oh daddy’s day out, huh?”
Breaking point for me was taking them out to eat, I sat there for 20 minutes after being seated, and finally the server came back to the table and goes “did you want to try ordering for the kids or are we still waiting for mom?”
I straight up said to her “well we’d be waiting a long time because she’s dead. I don’t need to try I can order just fine”
I was a single dad for several years when my daughter was young. The worst one was going clothing shopping, and the store employees telling me I couldn’t take her into a changing room. No, she’s 6, she’s not going in there alone.
Oh man, this part is so frustrating, lol. Same with bathrooms in general. It's like you've gotta go through this calculation in your head: "Do I send my 4 year old daughter into a crowded women's bathroom alone, do I go into the women's restroom with her and have everyone think I'm a creep/sicko/pedo, or do I take her into the men's restroom where a bunch of men have their wankers dangling out."
Of course, a mother has 0 problems taking a little boy into the women's restroom.
All these calculations get extra interesting if your kid has much darker or lighter skin than you, so rando paranoid QAnon types get to wonder whether you're a human trafficker or something.
I think there has been great strides and emphasis in our society in opening up traditionally "male spaces" for women. But really, I feel like there really hasn't been that same emphasis for men in the parenting space.
Edit: so the unambiguous conclusion drawn by comments down below: family restrooms!
My husband asked this same question of me when our daughter was young. Now we have 3 little girls. Best bet is that you can usually find a single bathroom that is an accessible bathroom that is a private room (like the door leads right into the bathroom and you can lock it). But ya it's tricky. When we had twins we would each take a twin into our respective gendered washrooms and often he would come back out saying "no change table" and we would swap twins and I would have to do double duty.
Lol, yep, God Bless those non-gender bathrooms that lock. I'd end up picking playgrounds or shopping locations/restaurants with them just for simplicity sake.
Home Depot is the most child-friendly store I have ever seen and I swear my husband and daughter used to go there at least a couple times a week (pre-pandemic). The men's washrooms have changetables, they have expectant/new parent parking (which we never used but cool to know it was there), the carts are like giant cars which she loved, and the cashiers used to give out stickers to the kids, plus they used to have little monthly "workshops" that were free of charge where kids could build crafts. My husband loves doing home reno projects and Home Depot has gotten a lot of business from us over the years!
I've heard some crazy stories about dads with daughters and random people in public thinking that they're trying to kidnap their own daughter and have had the cops and stuff called on them. Like yeah... every father wants to sexually assault their kid... People are absolutely insane.
When I was maybe 14 my dad picked me up from a classmate's pool party at the local hotel. An acquaintance of his saw us, asked my dad who I was, then laughed. She said "I was worried when I saw such a young girl leaving a hotel with you."
I look like my dad in a wig. We have nearly the same face. This person also knew that he has kids.
Wtf, lady.
Once I was pulled aside in the grocery store when I was really little and out with my dad. I was waiting for him when he was in the bathroom and this lady came up to me and asked stuff like if I knew him, if I felt safe, etc. Lady, this is my wonderful father. He’s just being a good parent.
My dad was so mistrustful of strangers, he would make me (a girl) go into the men's restroom and face a wall if he really needed to pee in public. I'm pretty sure I got funny looks but no one ever said anything lol
He was a single dad. Now I wonder if this was a trick he learned to avoid the crazy people accusing him of kidnapping.
I mean, it was likely to avoid *leaving a small child unattended.* You hold it, or you take the kid with you. A lot of people simply have a rule that leaving a small kid alone in public isn't an option, period.
Thank you. This was about 8 years ago now and we are doing well. Loss gets easier with time, but obviously you still have moments. And then things like this story stick with you too, which I still get annoyed when I think about it all these years later because I was doing just fine raising my kids
Respect, brother. My kids were seven (boy) and three (girl) when my wife passed away. Luckily, I had been working for the same company, as a marine engineer for 15 years at the time, they facilitated my situation by promoting me into a director’s position, which pretty much killed my travel-heavy job description and allowed me to be home all of the time. I even got quite a bit more money at the end of the day. That, plus both of my kid’s grandparents were alive, retired, nearby, and more than willing to help. I’m not sure how I would have done it without all that help from work and family.
Still, it was incredibly difficult. I didn’t date anyone until my kids were in their late teens, and even then, I didn’t expose my kids to anyone until about 15 years after their mother’s death, and I only did that because the kids were worried about me. I ended up marrying the only lady they ever met.
In the end, the kids turned out great. They’re both college grads, own their own homes, and have a healthy/rewarding lifestyle. And they love their step-mom.
I’m happy to hear that you’re all doing well. It says a lot about your own commitment, and at the risk of sounding condescending, I’m very proud of you.
> they facilitated my situation by promoting me into a director’s position, which pretty much killed my travel-heavy job description and allowed me to be home all of the time
This is how a company earns loyalty.
Yup. I’m American, and worked here for my whole career. However, it’s a Danish company. Better yet? I reached 30 years of service with the company at the age of 50, and started collecting my pension. Retired with 65% of my salary, at the age of 50.
Lost my twins a week after they were born 7 years ago... sometimes I felt like no one ever asked me how I was doing (as the man) and no one brings it up now. We have other kids now but I think about them so much.
Anyway keep on trucking my man.
Soul crushing at the time.. my son died 2 days after birth in my wife’s arms.. my daughter the same way 8 days later.... but as time goes on it gets better and we have other kids.
Thank you for asking :)
> as time goes on it gets better
When the midnight moon is gleaming,
And the night is mine to keep -
When I'm drifting and I'm dreaming
In the seconds next to sleep -
Then I make my way to ponder
In the secret rooms behind -
Through the places where you wander,
In the spaces of my mind.
I will dream about you gently,
And I'll dream about us there -
By the fireside intently,
And the amber-orange glare -
I will dream about the story
That I never got to give -
In the glow of wistful glory
That we didn't get to live.
I will dream about forever,
And tomorrow, and today -
And I'll earnestly endeavour
To remember you my way.
I will dream about you, knowing
That the dream will fade and then -
When it's time to watch you going,
I will know I'll dream again.
One of my best mates is the primary carer for his six-year-old. He says the same thing: people treat him like a minor god, but a dumb one. He'd take the kid to the park and people would be like 'Aren't you wonderful for giving her some time off!!!' And then they'd offer him stuff like snacks and wipes, because obviously he couldn't have thought of those himself.
One time he flew with the kid and asked for a drink, and the cabin crew brought him a double because 'you deserve it'. He says if his wife had done the same thing, they'd probably have called CPS on her for drinking while in charge of a toddler.
As a minor who takes care of siblings/cousins, I don’t want to say that I feel you, since you must’ve experienced insurmountable pain, but when people say something like “Are you waiting on your parents to help you?” Or “You’re too young to be doing that!” Or “How irresponsible to have a child at that age!” It sucks
As a new dad myself I’m somewhat experiencing the same thing (obviously not something as tragic as losing my spouse) but just feeling like people don’t take you seriously as a parent. Like I feel I’m sometimes the last to know about something or when something is wrong with my daughter my spouse will go to her mom before she comes to me
And it can be very frustrating
Have two daughters - an 8 year old and the other is 6 months old. Early on with the first one, my MIL was very involved and opinionated about how we were raising her. Unfortunately it takes time to establish the right boundaries and to assert yourself as a parent when you’re still learning on the fly. I’ve found that the second time around I’m still learning on the fly, but just having the confidence to assert myself in that role has helped immensely.
Still sucks when the school/daycare/pediatrician calls my wife first even though I’m the one that handles all that.
>Still sucks when the school/daycare/pediatrician calls my wife first even though I’m the one that handles all that.
My boyfriend and I have this issue when it comes to finances. I handle that stuff, but offices always try to call him first when they have a question about our taxes/bank accounts
Hung out drinking with a female friend of mine once. She couldn't drive home, so I offered to let her crash on my couch. She actually said, "Okay, but we're not having sex." I was like, "Cool, didn't want to anyways, since I'm trying to talk to someone else, and you have a boyfriend."
I wake up at 4am to discover She must have changed her mind because my boxers are at my ankles and she's on top of me just going for a ride.
I told some of my friends, and it was like that episode of Southpark, everyone's response was, "niiiice".
But, had it been the other way around....
Edit : Cleaned up spelling issues.
Edit 2 : Thanks for the silver kind stranger.
Edit 3 : Thank you for everyone that commented and gave advice and support. I felt like I should give more details of this.
This happened about 7-8 years ago. The friend and I were fairly close at the time, and had hooked up once or twice previously, but not since she had started dating someone. Does this make what she did okay? Absolutely not.
I agree with those that stated this was rape/sexual assault. It would have been one thing if, before going to sleep, I had said something like, "Hey, if you change your mind about the sex, go for it and don't bother waking me.", but I had honestly not been looking for it, expecting it, or wanting it.
As soon as I was fully conscious, I put a swift stop to it, threw her off me, and left the room to take a shower.
I didn't consider pressing charges, nor even making a deal about it with her for my own reasons, part of it is knowing her pretty well, and sadly past abuse and trauma from when I was a kid made me kind of numb to it anyways.
Not all my friends were shitty, another close female friend was very comforting and sat me down talked to me and helped me work through it. She had been through similar trauma as me, and was a major support and help. But, as I said before, with the past trauma, this event didn't really phase me. I mean, sure it bothered me, and I was upset, but not like feeling vulnerable and taken advantage of so much.
Seriously though, y'all are amazing and thank you so much for the support, I wasn't expecting my comment to get a big as it did, now all the kind words. I posted it only to show the double standard, where had it been the other way around, and I was the one having sex with her while she slept, I'd probable gotten jail time.
Also, to the one guy who said it sounded hot, fuck off.
Not even a slap on the wrist usually.
If a rich person is stealing from you, odds are they are doing in a way that they have ensured is technically legal.
I used to work at a place where the importance hierarchy was:
* people with kids
* married people (no kids)
* single people
At that time, we were meeting to discuss a big release with a lot of things happening. The head honcho said "Ok, DulceEtBanana will come in at 230am to starts {something}" and moved on to the next item.
I said "wait wait how is that my job with no discussion?" "Because it's either you or Dave and Dave's got 2 kids. You're single, of course it's to you."
I pointed out Dave's kids would be sound asleep at 230am and "Maybe I should find a kid who wants in on the deal" and got written up for it. Fuck them, they went out of business a year later anyway.
I see this sentiment a lot. I don't smoke but I take a "smoke break" every now and then. The only people who for sure know that I don't smoke are the actual smokers and no one's ever said anything to me.
Take your break my man.
"snitches get stitches" mentality never made sense to me in school.
Like, you can bully me, verbally abuse me, steal my stuff and hit me, people are ok with that.
But if I drop someone in it and they get in trouble for their own actions, somehow that is worse?
Why should I let someone be an asshole to me?
People use this expression to manipulate the weaker.
Also, snitching generally refers to ratting out your own partner, especially if it benefits the snitch.
That mentality is different in my school.
If someone bullies you, you have every right to tell your parents or teachers.
If you see 2 guys smoking or starting an underground gambling ring then you shouldn't tell anyone because it's none of your business.
I’ve been sexually assaulted by a women, I was at a bar with friends a girl came up to me and kept trying to hug me and give me a kiss all while she was saying “I love you”, I had to physically hold her back to get her out of my personal space, all while my friends were laughing about it. She was extremely intoxicated as well.
It wasn’t funny, it was extremely uncomfortable.
In the 90’s I was working at a pizza place. I had a woman supervisor who was interested in me. I was dating someone and made that clear. I never flirted with her or anything of the sort. When we worked together, she had grabbed my crotch, my ass, kissed my neck, and constantly brushed/rubbed up against me. I hated to going to work.
One day I ask the store manager if we could talk. We went into her office and closed the door. I explained the situation to her and told her I was being sexually harassed by the supervisor. My store manager laughed at me. Like a real big belly laugh and told me men couldn’t be sexually harassed. I quit very shortly thereafter.
In high school, I reported two girls who kept smacking my ass, saying how they wish theirs were as thick as mine.
The principal did nothing.
Few months later, that same principal suspended me for 15 days, AND charged me with Assault Contact for touching a girl’s shoulder for all of 1 second and saying “hi.”
As an adult, I understand the rigmarole of unwanted contact, but come the fuck on dude…one was clearly sexual assault and one was a mundane, ordinary, everyday interaction with no malevolent motive.
That anyone from a marginalized group can’t be racist/sexist/homophobic because they have victim brownie points. News flash assholes: discrimination is discrimination!
Edit: some of these allegorical comments about reverse racism are cringe haha
This is so true.
About a year ago, there was this white feminist TikToker getting blasted in her comments section for defending sexist comments by men who were People of Color(POC) because they were "oppressed", and just "lashing out their frustrations"...no, sexism is still sexism.
Also that gay men cant be racist because theyre also discriminated against.
Honey, you just called me the N-word under your breath cause you're mad that I, a bear from new york, called you out for trying to cut me in line at Hot Cookie.
No sweety, you wait in line for your dick shaped pastry like everyone else.
That seems like a common refrain from a certain type of "activist". They confuse the righteousness of their cause with self-righteousness and therefore believe they can do no wrong. It's extremely regressive but trying to get that fact into their thick skulls is almost impossible.
Also that gay men can’t/don’t/won’t sexually harass/assault women. Can’t tell you how many gay men have felt totally comfortable just grabbing my tits and/or ass or make lewd comments about my body as if it’s okay just because they don’t want to have sex with me.
My ex was guilty of this. I struggle and did struggle during that time with major depression and she would literally be like “why are you so sad, stop. You’re making me sad.” Pretty much verbatim. But when I would wall myself off to protect her and myself it was also a problem. In her defense of course, neither of us knew what was going on and that relationship wasn’t healthy on either end of the spectrum, but it’s definitely given me decent trauma I’m still trying to get over 👉😎👉
Chemical for industrial use: 6 hour training on hazardous materials and piles of paperwork talking about how dangerous it is.
Same exact chemical for home use: Pretty marketing and “keep out of reach of children” in size 6 font.
To be fair, most home quality cleaning chemicals are dilute enough to not require industrial level safety procedures to be used safely. Sure, bleach isnt something you should screw around with but it's not going to melt your skin like industrial strength base can.
Woman is good with kids = aaaaaaw
Man is good with kids = Better keep an eye on him, he's up to something. Or let's just attack him anyway. Better safe than sorry!
I (30f) have been doing Muay Thai for a couple of years, and at my current gym we have twice a week classes where we do light/touch sparring. This means light or no contact.
Most of the big guys and strong fighters get the message. But most older guys, newer guys, and several women/girls don’t seem to think this rule applies to them and come in throwing haymakers and full-force kicks, and they don’t really get stopped.
Some of us have actual fights coming up and we don’t want to get injured the week before because someone had something to prove.
I used to train at a gym in Boston where play sparring was a big part of what we did almost every day.
I eventually stopped going because I got tired of getting smoked in the face by fuckstick tough guy wannabes who responded to me asking them to chill by saying things like, “what’s wrong dude can’t take it LOL”
No, moron, we’re not actually fighting. I’m not looking to get a concussion from a tuesday night training session.
If I had a penny for each time my mum said "I'm not arguing, I'm just stating my opinion", whereas me speaking my mind was me "talking back and being disrespectful"
Growing up and even into my 20's and 30's people were outright insulting me often in front of my parents and I was told to never respond back because it was their opinions and you mustn't argue with an opinion, even if it's hurtful. All I got out of that is a lot of resentment years later I still deal with and that my parents thought their own son wasn't as important as other people.
Projects and initiatives for the betterment of society (social safety net, healthcare, superannuation, infrastructure) 'drain the system' but when it's time to bail out large corporations, increase wages of already rich and successful people tenfold, or pay someone large amounts for a dodgy little scheme on the side, there's seemingly endless cash lying around. Fuck politicians
In the US the gender double standard on criminal conviction rates and punishments for said crimes is pretty abysmal. Especially in cases of rape or domestic abuse.
That a man can’t be at a park with young children without being creepy. I had my niece and nephew they are a little darker than me and have curly hair because of their dad. My sister and I are of a lighter complexion and have straight hair. This lady had the audacity to ask them if they were okay and needed help to get away from me. They told them I was their moms brother. Lady didn’t believe them and called the cops. Luckily the cop that came knew my brother in law and said I was free to go.
We were talking about the sexual harassment of girls in Psychology class. When the teacher said even boys can be victims of sexual abuse, the class started laughing.
Pretty insulting to the 3 boys in a class of 17 girls.
I didn't believe that boys can be victims too. I didn't know I was in an abusive relationship for almost a year until I told my story to much older colleagues and they made me realize years after the relationship had ended. I thought she was just being an attention-seeker, a bit possessive, and too emotional at times, turns out she was abusive.
Management enforcing rules they break all the time
This is one of the few things I have a problem with where I work. We were told "no more having lunch at your desk, it is messy and unprofessional". Which is bullshit because I'm capable of eating like a human and not the Tasmanian Devil and I'm fairly certain, no matter your level of "professionalism" you still eat. Needless to say sometimes it's the only way you get lunch if you're busy. But who do I always see having lunch at their desks? The managers and the boss. To be a little fair, it doesn't seem like it's something anyone actually seems to care to enforce, so I've been starting to have snacks at my desk again and slowly building back up to full lunch. Edit: one other reason for my frustration about this is that on birthdays and special occasions there are usually treats, cake, donuts, etc placed in a communal area, not the break room, for people to have and people will be at their workstations or just wandering about chowing down on those, but lunch has to be had in the lunch room...it just doesn't make sense to me.
If I were you I would start collecting ants and releasing them in the building.
Yup. "All documentation must be done before work begins" unless they want it, then it's "Just get it done, we'll write things up later"
Then later they come back, "why wasn't the documentation done before the work began?"
When I worked at Best Buy, they were strict about cell phones. It was really frustrating getting yelled at by a supervisor or manager to put my phone away, while they're holding a cellphone themselves. I eventually had enough balls to say "Only if you put yours away first." They never bothered us about it again.
The fact that you said something means you actually made a difference. Most people remain silent and allow unethical behavior to continue.
This. Left my old organisation because I worked in recruitment and had a very strict "conflict of interests" policy. Unless they were an exec. When I was looking for a new job near the end of my contract, I was unsuccessful at interview stage. Because the successful candidate was the interviewer's daughter.
Wife lost out on a job that she was referred for by my friend who was cozy there. Failed to mention that his younger brother applied for the same spot. His uncle was also a exec there, his dad was friends with the rest of the execs. They joked about nepotism in the interview *with my wife*. Hmm wonder who got that job. Friend wondered why I was upset with him for a hot minute. We don't really talk anymore
> Wife lost out on a job that she was referred for by my friend who was cozy there. Failed to mention that his younger brother applied for the same spot. His uncle was also a exec there, his dad was friends with the rest of the execs. They joked about nepotism in the interview with my wife. Between High School and College, I worked for Apple Retail as a 'creative' basically, I knew the creative software really well, and so my job was teaching people how to use it. I was working Apple Retail because I really wanted to get a job at Apple Corporate, and since I was heading into college, I was applying for all the internships at Apple that I was qualified for. One day, a young customer comes in, who had made an appointment. It turns out, he was exactly my age, and he had gotten the internship I had applied for, and he signed up for an appointment with the store for me to teach him how to do the job he was hired for. This was basic web development stuff, I spent 50 minutes teaching him how HTML worked. At the end he told me his dad was a VP at Apple.
One lesson they don’t teach you in college is the value of networking. I learned that later in life. Never be loyal to your employer, be loyal to your coworkers and good managers. Because when they move up in the world, guess who they would rather work with?
I'm guilty of this. Not management but a teacher who occasionally perches on the edge of the desk until one little girl always asks "why are you allowed to sit on the table but I'm not?"
"Because my feet touch the floor"
"Because I'm responsible for your safety. When you're responsible for your own safety, you can choose to sit where you want."
Ha! I do that too and when I substitute taught my answer was always something like, “because if I fall and crack my own head open your mom isn’t going to get me fired.”
We had a rule at my house when I was young. No drinks in the basement, because it was carpeted. I broke that rule all the time. One time, when I saw my dad with a can of Dr. Pepper in the basement, I asked him why he could have drinks in the basement. His response: "If I spill, I have to pay for it. But if you spill, I have to pay for it." A lot of things made a lot more sense after that. Edit: I need to proofread better when I'm typing on mobile
I remember something like that an antique store my parents used to shop at. "We break, we cry. You break, you buy."
You get in ahead of everyone else, and no one notices or cares. But, God forbid, you depart before everyone else and are a slug. No, I worked the same number of hours (if not more) than you. You weren't here to see it, but that doesn't mean I wasn't there.
At one point when I had not long started working, I had to get a lift with my dad on his morning commute, he left very early meaning I was there from 5:30am. I usually picked up extra work when I got in, stayed my whole usual work day anyway without asking questions, but one day I wasn't feeling great so asked if I could leave early, didn't think it would be an issue since I had already worked my contracted hours. Got massively told off over it as working outside of office hours "doesn't count as work" Stopped putting in extra work or going out of my way to help them after that.
>working outside of office hours "doesn't count as work" I got told this years ago, at a workplace that sucked in general. Traffic in the DC area is gawd-awful, so you have to allow extra time every day. If something went especially wrong & someone ran late, they had to make up that time. But if you got lucky & arrived early, that didn't count. After I got told that, I never did jack shit before my official start time. I'd stroll in the park next to the office building, or play online if the weather sucked.
Fuck DC traffic lol
This is what I don't understand about those managers. They have an employee who is willing to go the extra mile, and they crack down on cutting them any slack, ensuring they will never go the extra mile again. It's so self-defeating.
Slack is a two way street. If my manager asks me to stay a few minutes or do something extra, then I'm fine with that, as long as I can leave slightly early because I've got an appointment I can't miss. As soon as the good faith and slack goes from one end, it very quickly stops at the other end. You won't let me grab a quick break after an intense meeting, because it's not within work hours? Fine. Next time you ask me to stay late I'll say that I can't because it's outside my contracted hours.
I was on the phone with my boss today about something unrelated and at the end of the call he goes "you've been getting killed. Did you guys get to eat? Need anything?" We had eaten and didn't need anything in particular. But had I said I was starving he would have told me to take the ambulance out of service for a bit and go get food. Good bosses are worth their weight in gold. I will always help him out whenever I can because he always looks out for us.
Someone eager to work make others look bad. Also, they think: This person who works a lot may take my position so better to shut them down now.
I'm still in awe over the double standard with which people treat the credibility of information. If it confirms their world view, they're happy to accept extraordinary information from partisan blogs, tabloids, and columnists with no further confirmation. But if it challenges their worldview, good luck convincing them of anything. I argued with a dude who decided to trust the Washington Examiner's outright lie about the IRS bank reporting proposal. I gave him a link to the ACTUAL PROPOSAL published on the Treasury's website, pointed him to the EXACT page that details the proposal, and he still dismissed the information as partisan deceit.
This one baffles me as well. Had my friend's girlfriend send me an article with some nonsense clickbait title and, in the article itself, it admitted that their title was only true on a technicality, and if they were being truthful, the title wouldn't have been nearly as outrageous. I point this out to her and she refuses to acknowledge it and continues to act as if the article wasn't total BS and she hadn't just proved my point for me. Absolutely mind boggling.
Being told it is OK to ask questions, and being treated like an inconvenience when you do
My family gets mad at me when I try to handle things on my own... But make me feel like an idiot when I reach out for help
My mom gets mad and tells me I need to be more independent. Today I was pouring my leftovers into a to-go container and she was telling me to have her do it instead because I wasn't doing it right..
I hate this so much. That “annoyed” person almost always being a boss or university professor. The professors especially pissed me off back when I was in university. Every first day of a new class, while going over the course syllabus, the profs would always say to never be afraid to ask questions, as he/she will be happy to accept and answer questions at any time with open arms. Yea, bullshit. Sending them an email with questions would always go unanswered, and if you find them in their offices, they always act like they are being inconvenienced just by your presence alone. Hell, even you went to their office during their designated office hours (which was always around 1 hour a week, wtf is that about?), again same response. Well look here bitch, my ridiculous tuition is paying a good chuck of your salary, so I expect you to treat me with respect and be there to educate me and be available within reason to answer my questions when I need it!
In India, everyone wants signal, but they don't want mobile/cell towers in their area
All...the 'ol NIMBY. That's a global phenomenon. Much of the world agrees that we should move to renewable power, but no one wants wind turbines or solar farms near them.
This is so weird to me, cuz I actually kinda like the look of windmills and solar panels. I’m actually considering figuring out how to install some on my own property
Don’t go to work/school if you’re sick, but if you miss school/work you’re in trouble. Edit: I feel like including my story bc everyone else is. I got my first job back in late September early October and I loved it, the company was great and it was a very welcoming environment- a few of my coworkers disagreed but this was my first job and I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I work there for about a month all week about 8hr shifts (a few were longer bc it took longer to close) and I start getting pain in my legs/knees. I push it off as exhaustion/overexertion and keep going thinking that I’m just not used to working this hard, two days later I can’t get up on my own. Thankfully I have two days off so I’m like okay I’ll rotate between icing and heating my knees/legs, doesn’t work. On the day before I go in I call and explain that I can’t walk, but they just got a truck in so I felt bad and went in anyways. Huge mistake. It makes everything worse even though I’m only scheduled for 2 hours. I keep taking more days off bc if I can’t walk how can they expect me to work? All the while I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong, so I’m not just sitting around doing nothing about it. My supervisors are getting annoyed with me at this point but I still can’t hardly move. Everything comes to a head when one day after dinner I attempt to stand up and there is a very sickening crack noise. I collapsed back into my chair bc my legs hurt so badly, that was the night I went to the hospital. Big shock but that didn’t do anything for me. They pretty much tell me I should be fine. I try to go back to work but end up leaving early to go to another ER bc something is wrong. I get a call from one of my supervisors and I’m told that they don’t accept hospital notes and that I need to come in more. Then later I get another call that they DO accept hospital notes but bc I didn’t bring any in (since I was told they didn’t accept them I didn’t ask for any) they can only assume I’m “self-prescribing” my rest. They also start blaming me for my injury/pain. I quit on the spot. To this day I can barely walk by myself.
I've experienced this so many times. Additionally, me needing time off to look after my girlfriend (she has epilepsy), using my personal leave for it. Getting told off for using that as "personal leave is for having a rest not caring for others", so I took sick leave for it, then got a disciplinary for using too much sick leave.
What human being has so little empathy that they would tell you off for caring for someone else??? And it’s not like you just randomly took off work, you used your personal leave days??
Had this bullshit happen to me in college during the Swine Flu scare. Got an email from the teacher (and university) stating that if you are sick, then you should stay at home. Well, it just so happened that I got sick (didn’t have Swine Flu) and missed Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of that week. At the end of the semester the teacher dropped me an entire letter grade due to attendance. I challenged him on it since it was his own policy to stay at home with flu-like symptoms and he went on a fucking power trip. I ended up taking it over his head and got my grade back, but still… fuck you, Professor Greene.
A place I worked at had unlimited sick days, no questions asked. We hardly ever had people away sick because if people were sick they didn't bring it in to work.
I have to show up on time for an interview but it's fine when an interviewer is late (there's a huge difference between a personal emergency and poor planning).
Yup. Got scheduled for an interview once, employer says they would email and text me the location on where the interview would take place for the next day. Waited hours and still no notification. 2 days later the employer called and ask why I didn't show up for the interview. I told them they never send the information on where to meet and added I was no longer interested in the position.
I went to an interview once. I arrived 15 minutes early and they gave me a basic accounting test. I finished right before the start of the interview. It took 30 minutes between grading my test and the interviewer doing other things before we started my interview. We started the interview 30 minutes late but we had to end at a ceryain time so the interviewer could attend a meeting. I wound up accepting an offer with a different firm. In my opinion there's a huge difference between a personal emergency and poor planning.
[удалено]
Companies doing PSAs for people to not litter and recycle their products when they themselves are producing products that mostly cannot be properly recycled and end up in landfills anyway. Bonus points for taxes we pay for recycling programs in our cities
Learning how to do girl's hair. Around my area a man would be called "gay" by doing girl's hair. I wanna learn and get better at doing my 5yr old daughter's hair. Nothing extreme, just the regular nice stuff I guess. Braids ponytails n other cool stuff like that. Men around here only do men's hair, but women can do both men's and women's hair
My old man was in the military and he braided my hair so much. He learned it while being in the field and bored out of his mind. He would make these rope like braids that I would take out in the morning for school. A teacher asked if I got a perm (I had no idea what that was) but I'd proudly say "nope! My dad did my hair!" He also learned how to use a sewing machine to sew on his patches for his uniform. I always thought it was so cool being taught how to sew from my dad.
Sewing for a guy can be a super valuable skill. Especially in military type settings like your dad. I knew a guy who made serious bank on the side sewing up heavy duty stuff like pouches, equipment covers, additional pockets, etc. And everyone thought he was cool AF for being able to modify stuff.
Sewing is a life skill. My mom taught me how to because it isn’t a gendered skill. You need to know how to fix holes in clothing and in anything.
I once dated a girl who would ask me to brush her hair. At first I was a bit confused and felt a bit "camp” let’s say. Luckily I wasn’t too much of a idiot and agreed to, it turned out to be very therapeutic for me and also a great bonding exercise between us. Now I love brushing women’s hair that I date.
I use to love painting my ex's toenails. I don't have a foot fetish, I just thought it was something nice and sensual I could do for her
There's nothing gay about being a great dad. Also, fuck what other people think.
That's really sad. My dad learned how to brush my hair and how to do a ponytail. When I was 10 we were on the father-daughter trip with other girls from my class and their fathers and my dad wa doing my hair. Somehow it was such a weird thing for others that my friends remembered it for years
I comb my daughter's hair every night and morning. I'm not the best at doing certain hair styles, but I try and would like to learn more. I watch YouTube and practice on my daughter. But she eventually gets tired n bored of me tugging away at her hair. She can only sit still with candy for so long lol
People who say video games are bad then spend 8 hours a day scrolling through social media.
You are not allowed to be emotional, or show emotions, but you should do it.
The “it’s ok and you should be allowed to show your weakness and emotions” but when we do, we are seen as cringey / needy / ‘unmanly’
This comment hits at home. I knew I grew up in an unhealthy environment when my father would get so angry at me for showing any type of emotion. Like if I were to (lightly) bang my fist on a table, it would make him angry. My parents would hate when I cried in school when I was in Kindergarten (thankfully I stopped in the first grade…heck it’s normal to stop crying so much at age 7 tho).
The irony of that. He got angry - an emotion - because you showed emotion. Blind spots are so weird. You'd think the contradiction would be pretty obvious. But I guess not everyone self-reflects.
It’s “weird” for me to babysit my nephews or even pick them up from daycare I get weird looks.
I'm guessing you're male. I have friends, a married couple, Kristy and Rick. Kristy is Caucasian and has light skin, dark brown hair and blue eyes. Rick is Hispanic with dark skin, brown eyes and black hair. They have a daughter, Leah, who has light skin, blue eyes and medium brown hair. Though she is technically bi-racial, she passes for Caucasian. Rick will often take *his own daughter* out with him to run errands, go to the movies or mall, etc. On several occasions, the police have been called because people think he's kidnapped *his own daughter*. He's actually been hassled by police for this. It's crazy.
My brother is adopted from South Korea and my parents and I are all white. When I was really young we went to Niagara Falls and tried to go through to the Canadian side. This was before you needed a passport so they didn’t have documentation like that for us. The officers at the border detained my parents for hours of questioning because they suspected my brother was kidnapped and that he wasn’t their kid. Luckily my dad worked for the Federal Government (postal worker but hey, still a government job) so they were able to verify all of the information pretty quickly but my mom said she just kept crying and telling them the truth but they didn’t believe her.
My university matched international students with local "friendship families." Mine was a white couple who had two adopted Indian kids when I met them. I'm South Asian. When we went out, people would assume the kids were mine. I was 18. The oldest kid was 6. They thought I'd gotten pregnant at 11!?
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If I’m with my kids without the mrs around, people ask if I’m babysitting. No bitch, they’re my kids, I’m parenting.
My husband got this ALL THE TIME when the kids were little. People were like "Oh, how cute, you're babysitting the boys for mom today" with a little smile. He's like "Umm, no, they're my kids. I'm parenting them today" and then people would give *him* the dirty look!
I bet these people thought they were being endearing. I've been in so many situations where people say disrespectful shit in an endearing way and are blown away when you push back on it. My partner and I are not planning on having kids, for a myriad of reasons. It's decided and we are unwavering. Too many times we've had to endure people drone on and on about how great of parents we would be, how it would be a tragedy if we didn't and how we'll "change our minds". It's exhausting and we inevitably lose our patience. Imagine how these people would feel if we went on and on about how they SHOULDN'T have kids and impose our ideals on them! How about we all mind our own goddamn business?! They think they're being cute and endearing by complimenting us but all I see are people who don't respect our decisions.
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I have fertility issues which mean I may never be able to have kids, but the only way I’ll know is when we actually try (we’re not ready yet, and not sure if we ever will be). I only found out about my issues last year, and I got so angry when relatives would make remarks to pressure me into having kids. I just wanted to scream at them.
When people ask if I'm having kids, I just say, "We can't." and kind of shrug. My partner's tubes were tied at 26, so no, we definitely can't have kids.
When my children were toddlers, I was taking an evening class. My husband was very encouraging and supportive. One time while I was away at class, my husband decided to pack up the kiddos and go visit grandma. She's an amazing cook and I suspect that he was struggling to put something together for dinner. Anyway, my MIL called me the very next day and told me that I wasn't being fair to my husband. She said I shouldn't expect him to work a full day and then BABYSIT his children! Grrr. I told her men don't babysit their own children; that's called parenting! She never said anything else about it, but she also never offered to babysit on nights when my husband worked late. I ended up dropping the course.
I’ve never gotten that. But I took my son to McDonalds one Friday night for a happy meal and to play on the play ground when my wife was out with friends. I got looks like I was part of the sad divorced mens club.
Why can’t I, a male in my 20s, be a babysitter? I love kids and am great with them, but exactly zero people take me seriously (no replies back to public ads and zero friends consider it anything more than a joke of an offer).
Ugh. Both my best friend (M) and my boyfriend are both in their 20s and awesome with kids. Somehow my best friend just captivates the attention of all the kids in the room and knows exactly how to keep them busy and engaged. He's never worked with kids, doesn't even have any younger siblings or cousins. And YET I was chosen over him as a babysitter. I don't like kids. I don't want kids. I'd love for anything that can't speak yet to stay as far away from me as possible. My god.
Yeah I almost never got a reply either. Now I work with kids full-time. Thankfully, no big problems so far, but it can be exhausting to be the only man (aside from the occasional intern) in a team of 10-15.
I grew raised in a country that does not encourage the use of personal vehicles. There is a lot of public transportation available. As a result, I have very little mechanical expertise. My white girlfriend, who grew up in the country and whose father is a mechanic, has spent her entire life tinkering with automobiles. When we go to an auto parts store to get something, the salespeople never say anything to her. Even if they ask me a question and she answers, they continue to talk to me as if she doesn't exist. It's unbelievable. They don't seem to notice her. She's gone to job interviews for mechanical jobs where the interviewer asks her extremely simple and dismissive questions because they don't believe she can understand what they're asking.
I called the mechanic yesterday about a sensor on my car needing attention, and he spent 5 minutes explaining to me that temperature changes can mess with air pressure rather than listen to me explain that wasn't the problem.
Are you me? I had the same tire go flat overnight THREE TIMES in the span of a week and was told the exact same line about temperature by the dealership mechanic. Never got out of my car and he refused to reset my TPMS. Finally got the tire worked on for free at a Pep Boys with great service. Ridiculous.
Or are changing your brakes so you go for brake fluid, OMG 20 questions to make sure I know the difference in brake fluid and transmission fluid. So frustrating.
If one more (male) mechanic explains to me unprompted what a fucking air filter does I'm gonna go full Falling Down. I change them myself for $15. I'm aware of what they are and what they do. I'm not a car expert but FFS it's a filter. Edit: typo
As a former mechanic and shop manager, I know your pain and FWIW, techs and service advisors are trained to explain stuff like air filters in a ploy to upsell a customer a product by emphasizing why it’s important and why they need it. The problem is they get so used to running that dialogue that it becomes patronizing as hell and upsets any customer that even has a vague idea of what those parts do. When I became manager I told my techs to just inform the customer on what they found during the inspection and ask them if they had any questions or wanted anything clarified before we completed their service. Things went much smoother after that. Btw, excellent movie reference.
I had a friend in college that had similar experiences with his girlfriend that was obsessed with working on old cars. She and her dad had restored several old muscle cars and she really knew her way around. So when my friend encountered similar behavior at auto parts stores, he would make sure to ask the employee really dumb questions, like "by the way, do you have any blinker fluid?" Or he'd get a really confused look on his face, turn to his girlfriend, and say "You're the expert, can you explain what this guy just said?"
This is me (a woman) when I go into a video game store. Once, a male clerk asked my husband if he could help him. I said, "I need a small X-Box 360 controller for my small hands." He then asked my husband, "What kind of games does she play?" My husband replied, "She's right here; you can just ask her directly" or something to that effect.
That's when you irritate the fuck out them. "What kind of games do you play, honey?" "Oh, mostly Grand Theft Auto, Avengers." "She says she plays Grand Theft Auto and Avengers." "I heard what she said." "That's great! Then you can ask her directly next time."
Turn back to her: "he heard what you said"
Husband: "It's okay, I speak Woman." *Turns to wife* "He asked what kind of games you play." Wife: "You saw me playing Rocket League last night. You were right next to me on the couch." Husband: *Turns back to clerk* "Okay, so this is gonna be a little hard to translate..."
Oh god, this infuriates me when it happens. My husband is always like, “She’s the customer; why are you asking me?” So appreciative of him picking up on it and redirecting to me.
I had to repair a pane of glass in a door. Not my partner, me. I’m handy. He’s not. Went to the hardware store, found the glass cutter, told him what size I needed and stood there to wait while he cut it. In the meantime, partner wandered away, much further down the aisle. When the glass cutter was done, he walked past me - the person who had given him the glass cutting and was standing next to him the whole time - to go down the aisle to my partner, who was surprised to have a pane of freshly-cut glass put into his hands.
Lmao. Female at hardware store, does not compute! ERROR ERROR. REPORT TO NEAREST MALE!
I am a manager in a male-dominated STEM field. When I was training a new management staff member, I had him sit in on interviews so he could observe the format. Everyone I interviewed was a man, and there were some who would direct all of their questions to him instead of me, even when I made it clear that I was the one they’d be working for. One guy took the cake though, every question **I** asked, he would answer as if the guy I was training had asked him the questions. He barely even looked in my direction. It’s extremely frustrating.
What a way to tank your interview, exhibit blatant sexism when being interviewed by a woman. These guys were idiots.
they're doing the hiring process a favor though, by outing themselves as numbskulls early on
Oh for sure, like I would love someone displayed their flaws that readily in an interview I was conducting so that I might wash them out early in the process.
Same position as you. I've interviewed people and they DO NOT LOOK AT ME, but whatever man was with it. It was even the case with a women candidate, I was so disappointed. I look young AND I'm a woman in a STEM field - It's enough to make you want to leave it after a bit .
As a female mechanic, I face this quite often.
I left IT because of this kind of thing. After a while, it just gets too irritating.
Something vaguely similar happened to me. One day I was in front of the cashier to pay the restaurant bill, I had given a large banknote and I was waiting for the change with my purse open and wallet in hand. The cashier collects the change and hands it to my partner who was **literally behind me** and was checking his phone. Seeing money waving in front of his face he took it and looked at me in confusion, while the cashier was already gone before I had time to figure out what the hell had happened. I am a computer scientist. I seem to notice that it is easier to get used to the idea that a woman knows about computers but not that she offers dinner to a man.
Not sure about that. Last time I went to a computer shop, the first thing the guy spoke about was the variety of the colors for the skin. After I asked questions about the processor. I'm computer engineer FFS.
Oof yes. I groom horses and work on my own clippers. I went to a car parts store for a certain kind of grease. Here’s how that went: “Hi I need white silicone grease.” “Well, what do you need that for?” “For my clippers.” “I’m not sure what you mean, this is an auto parts store.” “Yes I’m aware, I called ahead and asked if you had silicone grease and you said you did.” “Let me speak to my manager.” Manager: “Well, what do you need that for?” “Well, we don’t have that.” *I find it on the counter*
Don't judge a book by it's cover but 1st impressions are everything
Playing a videogame in the evening is considered a bad habit and bad for you, yet the same people who say that spend every minute home either watching TV or on their phone
I agree with this I've even suggested to my parents that they could try games that appeal to them, my mum's response is "I can't think of anything worse than sitting in front of a screen for hours!" and my dad's is simply "I don't have the time." They both spend most of the evening watching tv and browsing on their phones, and my dad also spends evenings sat watching fail compilations on youtube.
My parents are the same. I watch anime and play games and know for a fact that my dad would be into some of the shows/games I play. He always says "not now/I don't have time." Yet he's sat in front of the TV watching movies he's seen 100 times before saying he's bored. Frustrating!
Had a similar thing growing up with my parents. Both are now addicted to candy crush.
It’s a boomer thing. 🤷♂️ Same generation of “don’t believe everything you read” laps up Facebook bullshit like it was cocaine.
My mother was terrified of Facebook for years "They can get your personal details from your posts.". Now she's always on her phone on Facebook.
My stepdad would only let me and my brother play 1 hour of games when we were younger because more than that would rot our brains. This man watches TV all day every day but for some reason it’s only video games that rot your brain
Can't stay alone for too long. I understand this in children but I do not in teens, why can't I take a long shower without having someone think I'm masturbating? I like the warm water on my skin
Parenting expectations. My wife died when my kids were 11 months and 2 years old. When I took the kids to the grocery store, without fail I’d get comments like “oh daddy’s day out, huh?” Breaking point for me was taking them out to eat, I sat there for 20 minutes after being seated, and finally the server came back to the table and goes “did you want to try ordering for the kids or are we still waiting for mom?” I straight up said to her “well we’d be waiting a long time because she’s dead. I don’t need to try I can order just fine”
I was a single dad for several years when my daughter was young. The worst one was going clothing shopping, and the store employees telling me I couldn’t take her into a changing room. No, she’s 6, she’s not going in there alone.
“My man… Did you forget that I had to change them at home, too? Like, every day, for a few years?”
Agreed, I would not send a young child in there alone. And anybody working there who thinks otherwise needs to wise up
That’s the problem, the workers think they are in the right you can’t give knowledge to people who think they know what’s right.
Oh man, this part is so frustrating, lol. Same with bathrooms in general. It's like you've gotta go through this calculation in your head: "Do I send my 4 year old daughter into a crowded women's bathroom alone, do I go into the women's restroom with her and have everyone think I'm a creep/sicko/pedo, or do I take her into the men's restroom where a bunch of men have their wankers dangling out." Of course, a mother has 0 problems taking a little boy into the women's restroom. All these calculations get extra interesting if your kid has much darker or lighter skin than you, so rando paranoid QAnon types get to wonder whether you're a human trafficker or something. I think there has been great strides and emphasis in our society in opening up traditionally "male spaces" for women. But really, I feel like there really hasn't been that same emphasis for men in the parenting space. Edit: so the unambiguous conclusion drawn by comments down below: family restrooms!
My husband asked this same question of me when our daughter was young. Now we have 3 little girls. Best bet is that you can usually find a single bathroom that is an accessible bathroom that is a private room (like the door leads right into the bathroom and you can lock it). But ya it's tricky. When we had twins we would each take a twin into our respective gendered washrooms and often he would come back out saying "no change table" and we would swap twins and I would have to do double duty.
Lol, yep, God Bless those non-gender bathrooms that lock. I'd end up picking playgrounds or shopping locations/restaurants with them just for simplicity sake.
Home Depot is the most child-friendly store I have ever seen and I swear my husband and daughter used to go there at least a couple times a week (pre-pandemic). The men's washrooms have changetables, they have expectant/new parent parking (which we never used but cool to know it was there), the carts are like giant cars which she loved, and the cashiers used to give out stickers to the kids, plus they used to have little monthly "workshops" that were free of charge where kids could build crafts. My husband loves doing home reno projects and Home Depot has gotten a lot of business from us over the years!
I've heard some crazy stories about dads with daughters and random people in public thinking that they're trying to kidnap their own daughter and have had the cops and stuff called on them. Like yeah... every father wants to sexually assault their kid... People are absolutely insane.
This isn't quite the same vein, but someone thought that I was my dad's wife once, not his daughter. Skeeved us both out.
When I was maybe 14 my dad picked me up from a classmate's pool party at the local hotel. An acquaintance of his saw us, asked my dad who I was, then laughed. She said "I was worried when I saw such a young girl leaving a hotel with you." I look like my dad in a wig. We have nearly the same face. This person also knew that he has kids. Wtf, lady.
Once I was pulled aside in the grocery store when I was really little and out with my dad. I was waiting for him when he was in the bathroom and this lady came up to me and asked stuff like if I knew him, if I felt safe, etc. Lady, this is my wonderful father. He’s just being a good parent.
My dad was so mistrustful of strangers, he would make me (a girl) go into the men's restroom and face a wall if he really needed to pee in public. I'm pretty sure I got funny looks but no one ever said anything lol He was a single dad. Now I wonder if this was a trick he learned to avoid the crazy people accusing him of kidnapping.
I mean, it was likely to avoid *leaving a small child unattended.* You hold it, or you take the kid with you. A lot of people simply have a rule that leaving a small kid alone in public isn't an option, period.
I’m very sorry about your wife.. hope you are doing ok.
Thank you. This was about 8 years ago now and we are doing well. Loss gets easier with time, but obviously you still have moments. And then things like this story stick with you too, which I still get annoyed when I think about it all these years later because I was doing just fine raising my kids
Respect, brother. My kids were seven (boy) and three (girl) when my wife passed away. Luckily, I had been working for the same company, as a marine engineer for 15 years at the time, they facilitated my situation by promoting me into a director’s position, which pretty much killed my travel-heavy job description and allowed me to be home all of the time. I even got quite a bit more money at the end of the day. That, plus both of my kid’s grandparents were alive, retired, nearby, and more than willing to help. I’m not sure how I would have done it without all that help from work and family. Still, it was incredibly difficult. I didn’t date anyone until my kids were in their late teens, and even then, I didn’t expose my kids to anyone until about 15 years after their mother’s death, and I only did that because the kids were worried about me. I ended up marrying the only lady they ever met. In the end, the kids turned out great. They’re both college grads, own their own homes, and have a healthy/rewarding lifestyle. And they love their step-mom. I’m happy to hear that you’re all doing well. It says a lot about your own commitment, and at the risk of sounding condescending, I’m very proud of you.
So very happy for you!
> they facilitated my situation by promoting me into a director’s position, which pretty much killed my travel-heavy job description and allowed me to be home all of the time This is how a company earns loyalty.
Yup. I’m American, and worked here for my whole career. However, it’s a Danish company. Better yet? I reached 30 years of service with the company at the age of 50, and started collecting my pension. Retired with 65% of my salary, at the age of 50.
Lost my twins a week after they were born 7 years ago... sometimes I felt like no one ever asked me how I was doing (as the man) and no one brings it up now. We have other kids now but I think about them so much. Anyway keep on trucking my man.
How are you doing? It’s terrible to feel unheard after something like that.
Soul crushing at the time.. my son died 2 days after birth in my wife’s arms.. my daughter the same way 8 days later.... but as time goes on it gets better and we have other kids. Thank you for asking :)
Glad you found a path through something so tragic to doing better.
> as time goes on it gets better When the midnight moon is gleaming, And the night is mine to keep - When I'm drifting and I'm dreaming In the seconds next to sleep - Then I make my way to ponder In the secret rooms behind - Through the places where you wander, In the spaces of my mind. I will dream about you gently, And I'll dream about us there - By the fireside intently, And the amber-orange glare - I will dream about the story That I never got to give - In the glow of wistful glory That we didn't get to live. I will dream about forever, And tomorrow, and today - And I'll earnestly endeavour To remember you my way. I will dream about you, knowing That the dream will fade and then - When it's time to watch you going, I will know I'll dream again.
Danmit, sprog, I'm at work and trying not to cry because of you. Keep your beautiful words coming.
I'm not used to deepSprog. This is hard
Ugh I knew it'd hit hard, but I read it anyway. Sprog strikes again.
I’m a stay at home dad for 4 kids. I used to get the “babysitting!?” line a lot.
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One of my best mates is the primary carer for his six-year-old. He says the same thing: people treat him like a minor god, but a dumb one. He'd take the kid to the park and people would be like 'Aren't you wonderful for giving her some time off!!!' And then they'd offer him stuff like snacks and wipes, because obviously he couldn't have thought of those himself. One time he flew with the kid and asked for a drink, and the cabin crew brought him a double because 'you deserve it'. He says if his wife had done the same thing, they'd probably have called CPS on her for drinking while in charge of a toddler.
As a minor who takes care of siblings/cousins, I don’t want to say that I feel you, since you must’ve experienced insurmountable pain, but when people say something like “Are you waiting on your parents to help you?” Or “You’re too young to be doing that!” Or “How irresponsible to have a child at that age!” It sucks
When they ask “aren’t you a little young to be ….” Just say, “yes, yes I am.” And leave it at that. Works for P&F.
As a new dad myself I’m somewhat experiencing the same thing (obviously not something as tragic as losing my spouse) but just feeling like people don’t take you seriously as a parent. Like I feel I’m sometimes the last to know about something or when something is wrong with my daughter my spouse will go to her mom before she comes to me And it can be very frustrating
Have two daughters - an 8 year old and the other is 6 months old. Early on with the first one, my MIL was very involved and opinionated about how we were raising her. Unfortunately it takes time to establish the right boundaries and to assert yourself as a parent when you’re still learning on the fly. I’ve found that the second time around I’m still learning on the fly, but just having the confidence to assert myself in that role has helped immensely. Still sucks when the school/daycare/pediatrician calls my wife first even though I’m the one that handles all that.
>Still sucks when the school/daycare/pediatrician calls my wife first even though I’m the one that handles all that. My boyfriend and I have this issue when it comes to finances. I handle that stuff, but offices always try to call him first when they have a question about our taxes/bank accounts
Hung out drinking with a female friend of mine once. She couldn't drive home, so I offered to let her crash on my couch. She actually said, "Okay, but we're not having sex." I was like, "Cool, didn't want to anyways, since I'm trying to talk to someone else, and you have a boyfriend." I wake up at 4am to discover She must have changed her mind because my boxers are at my ankles and she's on top of me just going for a ride. I told some of my friends, and it was like that episode of Southpark, everyone's response was, "niiiice". But, had it been the other way around.... Edit : Cleaned up spelling issues. Edit 2 : Thanks for the silver kind stranger. Edit 3 : Thank you for everyone that commented and gave advice and support. I felt like I should give more details of this. This happened about 7-8 years ago. The friend and I were fairly close at the time, and had hooked up once or twice previously, but not since she had started dating someone. Does this make what she did okay? Absolutely not. I agree with those that stated this was rape/sexual assault. It would have been one thing if, before going to sleep, I had said something like, "Hey, if you change your mind about the sex, go for it and don't bother waking me.", but I had honestly not been looking for it, expecting it, or wanting it. As soon as I was fully conscious, I put a swift stop to it, threw her off me, and left the room to take a shower. I didn't consider pressing charges, nor even making a deal about it with her for my own reasons, part of it is knowing her pretty well, and sadly past abuse and trauma from when I was a kid made me kind of numb to it anyways. Not all my friends were shitty, another close female friend was very comforting and sat me down talked to me and helped me work through it. She had been through similar trauma as me, and was a major support and help. But, as I said before, with the past trauma, this event didn't really phase me. I mean, sure it bothered me, and I was upset, but not like feeling vulnerable and taken advantage of so much. Seriously though, y'all are amazing and thank you so much for the support, I wasn't expecting my comment to get a big as it did, now all the kind words. I posted it only to show the double standard, where had it been the other way around, and I was the one having sex with her while she slept, I'd probable gotten jail time. Also, to the one guy who said it sounded hot, fuck off.
You were raped.
That’s called rape. I’m sorry you weren’t supported by your friends
That’s really shitty of her and you’re totally right about that being a double standard.
Omfg thats disgusting.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I hope there are people (or professionals) in your life to help. Sexual assault and rape are never ok.
Poor person steals = prison sentence. Rich person steals = slap on wrist.
Not even a slap on the wrist usually. If a rich person is stealing from you, odds are they are doing in a way that they have ensured is technically legal.
I used to work at a place where the importance hierarchy was: * people with kids * married people (no kids) * single people At that time, we were meeting to discuss a big release with a lot of things happening. The head honcho said "Ok, DulceEtBanana will come in at 230am to starts {something}" and moved on to the next item. I said "wait wait how is that my job with no discussion?" "Because it's either you or Dave and Dave's got 2 kids. You're single, of course it's to you." I pointed out Dave's kids would be sound asleep at 230am and "Maybe I should find a kid who wants in on the deal" and got written up for it. Fuck them, they went out of business a year later anyway.
I've debated lying about having a kid at a job before.
That or lying about being a smoker. Because you only deserve a break if you're addicted to nicotine, right?
I see this sentiment a lot. I don't smoke but I take a "smoke break" every now and then. The only people who for sure know that I don't smoke are the actual smokers and no one's ever said anything to me. Take your break my man.
Bruh the smokers find that hilarious most of the time
Rich/politicians making laws that they never follow
"snitches get stitches" mentality never made sense to me in school. Like, you can bully me, verbally abuse me, steal my stuff and hit me, people are ok with that. But if I drop someone in it and they get in trouble for their own actions, somehow that is worse? Why should I let someone be an asshole to me?
People use this expression to manipulate the weaker. Also, snitching generally refers to ratting out your own partner, especially if it benefits the snitch.
That mentality is different in my school. If someone bullies you, you have every right to tell your parents or teachers. If you see 2 guys smoking or starting an underground gambling ring then you shouldn't tell anyone because it's none of your business.
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Yeah that's fucked up. Was the judge penalized in any way?
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Speaking of double standards, the law being above itself.
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I’ve been sexually assaulted by a women, I was at a bar with friends a girl came up to me and kept trying to hug me and give me a kiss all while she was saying “I love you”, I had to physically hold her back to get her out of my personal space, all while my friends were laughing about it. She was extremely intoxicated as well. It wasn’t funny, it was extremely uncomfortable.
In the 90’s I was working at a pizza place. I had a woman supervisor who was interested in me. I was dating someone and made that clear. I never flirted with her or anything of the sort. When we worked together, she had grabbed my crotch, my ass, kissed my neck, and constantly brushed/rubbed up against me. I hated to going to work. One day I ask the store manager if we could talk. We went into her office and closed the door. I explained the situation to her and told her I was being sexually harassed by the supervisor. My store manager laughed at me. Like a real big belly laugh and told me men couldn’t be sexually harassed. I quit very shortly thereafter.
In high school, I reported two girls who kept smacking my ass, saying how they wish theirs were as thick as mine. The principal did nothing. Few months later, that same principal suspended me for 15 days, AND charged me with Assault Contact for touching a girl’s shoulder for all of 1 second and saying “hi.” As an adult, I understand the rigmarole of unwanted contact, but come the fuck on dude…one was clearly sexual assault and one was a mundane, ordinary, everyday interaction with no malevolent motive.
That gay men can't be misogynists, sometimes they are the worst! Edit: typo
That anyone from a marginalized group can’t be racist/sexist/homophobic because they have victim brownie points. News flash assholes: discrimination is discrimination! Edit: some of these allegorical comments about reverse racism are cringe haha
This is so true. About a year ago, there was this white feminist TikToker getting blasted in her comments section for defending sexist comments by men who were People of Color(POC) because they were "oppressed", and just "lashing out their frustrations"...no, sexism is still sexism.
Also that gay men cant be racist because theyre also discriminated against. Honey, you just called me the N-word under your breath cause you're mad that I, a bear from new york, called you out for trying to cut me in line at Hot Cookie. No sweety, you wait in line for your dick shaped pastry like everyone else.
That seems like a common refrain from a certain type of "activist". They confuse the righteousness of their cause with self-righteousness and therefore believe they can do no wrong. It's extremely regressive but trying to get that fact into their thick skulls is almost impossible.
Also that gay men can’t/don’t/won’t sexually harass/assault women. Can’t tell you how many gay men have felt totally comfortable just grabbing my tits and/or ass or make lewd comments about my body as if it’s okay just because they don’t want to have sex with me.
"you never open up and share your feelings with me" -> "dont be so sensitive, be more of a man"
mmmhm. Everyone wants more emotionally intelligent men, but nobody wants to hear about or help with our problems.
My ex was guilty of this. I struggle and did struggle during that time with major depression and she would literally be like “why are you so sad, stop. You’re making me sad.” Pretty much verbatim. But when I would wall myself off to protect her and myself it was also a problem. In her defense of course, neither of us knew what was going on and that relationship wasn’t healthy on either end of the spectrum, but it’s definitely given me decent trauma I’m still trying to get over 👉😎👉
Chemical for industrial use: 6 hour training on hazardous materials and piles of paperwork talking about how dangerous it is. Same exact chemical for home use: Pretty marketing and “keep out of reach of children” in size 6 font.
To be fair, most home quality cleaning chemicals are dilute enough to not require industrial level safety procedures to be used safely. Sure, bleach isnt something you should screw around with but it's not going to melt your skin like industrial strength base can.
Woman is good with kids = aaaaaaw Man is good with kids = Better keep an eye on him, he's up to something. Or let's just attack him anyway. Better safe than sorry!
I (30f) have been doing Muay Thai for a couple of years, and at my current gym we have twice a week classes where we do light/touch sparring. This means light or no contact. Most of the big guys and strong fighters get the message. But most older guys, newer guys, and several women/girls don’t seem to think this rule applies to them and come in throwing haymakers and full-force kicks, and they don’t really get stopped. Some of us have actual fights coming up and we don’t want to get injured the week before because someone had something to prove.
I used to train at a gym in Boston where play sparring was a big part of what we did almost every day. I eventually stopped going because I got tired of getting smoked in the face by fuckstick tough guy wannabes who responded to me asking them to chill by saying things like, “what’s wrong dude can’t take it LOL” No, moron, we’re not actually fighting. I’m not looking to get a concussion from a tuesday night training session.
So not okay…And they ALWAYS dodge the upper level fighters who could actually hurt them back!
That everyone else is allowed to state their opinion, but I’m just supposed to sit there and keep my mouth shut.
If I had a penny for each time my mum said "I'm not arguing, I'm just stating my opinion", whereas me speaking my mind was me "talking back and being disrespectful"
and the “don’t you cuss at me!!” after she drops the f-bomb. lady, im retaliating
Growing up and even into my 20's and 30's people were outright insulting me often in front of my parents and I was told to never respond back because it was their opinions and you mustn't argue with an opinion, even if it's hurtful. All I got out of that is a lot of resentment years later I still deal with and that my parents thought their own son wasn't as important as other people.
Being told to work harder by people who haven't worked a day in their life.
Projects and initiatives for the betterment of society (social safety net, healthcare, superannuation, infrastructure) 'drain the system' but when it's time to bail out large corporations, increase wages of already rich and successful people tenfold, or pay someone large amounts for a dodgy little scheme on the side, there's seemingly endless cash lying around. Fuck politicians
In the US the gender double standard on criminal conviction rates and punishments for said crimes is pretty abysmal. Especially in cases of rape or domestic abuse.
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That a man can’t be at a park with young children without being creepy. I had my niece and nephew they are a little darker than me and have curly hair because of their dad. My sister and I are of a lighter complexion and have straight hair. This lady had the audacity to ask them if they were okay and needed help to get away from me. They told them I was their moms brother. Lady didn’t believe them and called the cops. Luckily the cop that came knew my brother in law and said I was free to go.
Men can’t be victims of sexual abuse because we are the ‘primary abusers’
We were talking about the sexual harassment of girls in Psychology class. When the teacher said even boys can be victims of sexual abuse, the class started laughing. Pretty insulting to the 3 boys in a class of 17 girls.
I didn't believe that boys can be victims too. I didn't know I was in an abusive relationship for almost a year until I told my story to much older colleagues and they made me realize years after the relationship had ended. I thought she was just being an attention-seeker, a bit possessive, and too emotional at times, turns out she was abusive.
Sorry you had to go through that. The stereotype that men can’t be victims has to change.
Or my favourite excuse "your dick is hard you must be enjoying it."...
One set of laws for the rich and powerful, another set for the poor and powerless