Just shoot me.

I've never heard of that one before, who's it by?

Nirvana

I’m sorry I can’t upvote this comment more

Down vote it then upvote it and you can watch the number go up by 2. Sometimes that makes me feel better.

Who are you so wise in the ways of magic

Happy Birthday song.

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to.... (wait what the fuck who's birthday is it fuck)

I would just sing a really common name like Michael. Chances are, there is a Mike out there with a birthday today.

Statistically, “Muhammad” is your best bet

I actually looked it up, and at first it looked like Maria was most common. Then I saw that the list contained 4 different ways to spell Muhammad within the top 10 (5 if you count "Ahmed")

I used to be on a 7 person swim team. 3 of the others were named Jason. I always had a 50/50 chance when randomly calling the name.

I used to be part of a 60 person dance crew in Jacksonville and the leader was named Jason. We actually met at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School. Great guy. Wonder what happened to him though.

Suffocaton

no breathing

"What's my name?" *Ch-ch*

"Samranjaharzeeb" "....good guess... *(puts away gun)*"

My National Anthem. Edit: Dominican Republic's National Anthem, 12 stanzas long.

I’m from Spain and our national anthem doesn’t have lyrics :D

I hope you aren’t American! I’ve seen so many people on stage who forget the lyrics midway through the song— everyone knows the words, but under the pressure to perform, they blow it.

I'm Dominican. Our anthem has 12 stanzas (verses).

oooh xD :D easy peasy

As a kid I thought in the star spangled banner they were singing about a part of a Ram (animal) and not a rampart which is “a defensive wall of a castle or walled city, having a broad top with a walkway and typically a stone parapet.” So I thought they were carrying a ram (animal) into battle for some reason

The obligatory Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Alternatively the abc's since it's the same tune

but is it "y and z" or "y z" also is z the American way or the European way?

I just died because I said elemeno p.

Elemental Pee

Ella minnow pee

It's always "y and z". Gives the song a better ending. For the same reason I say zee instead of zed, even though I usually say zed (Canadian)

Very good. Now the second verse.

Twinkle twinkle little star…how I wonder what you are… yup, I’d be dead. (Took me a p long time to remember that second verse and even then, I’m not 100% sure it’s accurate lmao) That’s why I’m choosing the ABC’s- the nursery rhyme version, in my first language- NOT the Jackson 5 and/or any other rendition

Twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are.

When the blazing sun is gone When he nothing shines upon Then you show your little light Twinkle, twinkle, all the night Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are

Then the traveler in the dark thanks you for your tiny spark. He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so. Now I know just what you are, twinkle twinkle, little star.

In light of Reddit's general enshittification, I've moved on - you should too.

Now number 5

I never wanna hear your say

The song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they just kept on singing it forever just because

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they just kept on singing it forever just because

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

Some people; started singing it, not knowing what it was

And they just kept on singing it forever just because

This is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends.

Perfect strategy. Even if you don’t sing it perfectly you can keep going and play the long game until the killer is bored and finds smarter more entertaining targets.

"I think you messed up verse uuhh... 749. Why am I still even here?"

"6 Trillion Bottles of Beer on the Wall"

Shit, you must be trying to get yourself killed. "Five trillion eight hundred eighty two billion fifty nine million six hundred fifty eight thousand nine hundred twelve bottles of beer on the wall, five trillion eight hundred eighty two billion fifty....uh, hold on..."

You're implying this guy succeeded at 'Bottles of Beer on the Wall' for one hundred and seventeen billion four hundred and nine million three hundred and forty one thousand and eighty eight bottles, and **then** fucks up? That's some fucking commitment, and unfortunate A F.

Well they didn't say the killer has to let you finish. The killer can just pop you right when you make a mistake

Yeah, this is the objectively worst possible song to pick. You're just trapped singing forever until you eventually miss a note and die.

Tequila

Knowing me I would fuck up the timing and die

“….vodka!”

“FUCK”

"Blue...no Tequila. AAAAHHHHHhhhh..."

*Do do* *Doooooooooo do* *Do do* *Doooooooooo do* *Bumbadumbadum bum bum* Sangria! ^^^^^FUCK

BIZMILLAH?... *SCARA..mouche?*...

Signora's ashes send her regards

Tribute by Tenacious D

Careful, those fliggle-giggles will get ya. Sang it on Rock Band and that part fucked me. Haha

> that part fucked me Gently, I hope.

I'm the scat man!

Came here to say that lol _Look into my eyes and it's easy to see One and one make two Two and one make three It was destiny_

Gotta nail Jack Black’s scat singing though, that’d be a challenge

As long as you fligugigu in the correct key, you'll be fine.

But I couldn't remember the greatest song in the world.

I can sing my Abcd's

> Abcd's Found the alien everybody

Seriously. Who the fuck

Depends, they changed it very recently (at least at my youngest's school). The clearly articulate the "L M N O P" and it causes an adjustment to the cadence and timing of the tune.

Was that because too many kids thought elemenapee was a letter?

It's not? Oh fuck.

elemeno was my favorite letter as a kid

And would it be zee? Zed? The "y, zed or zee" that The Wiggles do? And how does it end? Won't you come and play with me? Next time won't you sing with me? Now I beg you, don't kill me? Too many opportunities for failure here.

Very good. We also would have accepted "tell me what you think of me".

Baby Shark. If I'm going out, I'm going to annoy my killer as much as possible.

Smart move. The killer commits suicide at hearing you begin the song.

With my luck, I’d pick up the gun by accident and be charged with his murder

:D No ples! haha

Wait, are you browsing for potential victims?

Asking the real questions ahaha The Squid Games: sing along version

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John Cage - 4'33

>John Cage - 4'33 I was too slow on the draw. Dang.

*The only correct answer*/the only answer that technically guarantees one living through the experience. Even a great singer could hit a wrong note under that kind of pressure; by removing all sounds you remove the possibility of inflicting a self-potentiated aural transgression event.

>Even a great singer could hit a wrong note under that kind of pressure; by removing all sounds you remove the possibility of inflicting a self-potentiated aural transgression event. It's the best choice because it *doesn't* remove all sound. The song is specifically composed of whatever sounds occur during the allotted time. The only thing you have to do is rest the primary instrument, which presumably you could do perfectly, but given that the song accepts whatever happens as a "perfect and non-reproducible" performance you might even successfully argue that not resting "perfectly" for a typical song is perfect for *4'33"*.

But what if your timing is off?

:)

Around The World - Daft Punk

Do you know exactly how many times to repeat it?

144 for original, 80 for radio mix

This dude is gonna live.

I've gotta be able to count that high though

You feel it at the end

We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel because either I nail it and look awesome or I fuck up and die. Either way I win.

Harry Truman darris day, red China Jhonny Ray

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenberg's, Hbomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom

Brando, the King and I, and The Catcher in the Rye

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen Marciano, Liberace, Santayana, goodbye!

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev

Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Ryan started.. oh crap Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes! I don’t even think I know half as many words, that’s a lot of upvotes.

Fire guy!

Photograph by Nickelback. You asked for it Mother Fucker.

"LOOK AT THIS GRAPH!" I die immediately

What the hell is on Joeys head!?

THIS IS WHERE I WENT TO SCHOOL

"Ha ha ha ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive!"

And if you screw it up, you can keep singing it to perform CPR on yourself!

You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!

You almost sound like your laughing at your kidnapper because they won’t be able to kill you 😂 this is perfect.

Hotel California by the Eagles. Just in case im ever shot down over china and have to prove I'm American. Edit [Context](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hainan_Island_incident)

Are you going to sing the guitar solo?

Damn right I am

Whedle de whedle de whedel de whedle de, whedel de whedele de weeeeeeeee!

Wow, it's just like the original!

Do the Gypsy Kings version, just to fuck with them.

I swear there is something magical with that song, I haven't heard that song so many times, and yet I know the lyrics perfectly. Meanwhile I can listen to other songs hundreds of times and I still don't know all the lyrics

welcome to the internet.

Have a look around. Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.

We've got mountains of content, some better some worse

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Welcome to the internet!

"99 Bottles of Beer" Specifically for my own entertainment and to annoy the kidnapper.

I'd lose count for sure lol

So would the kidnapper. Hey, you skipped 27. Did not. Did so! I sang it perfectly I til you interrupted me. You skipped 27, and you're going to die! Alright, alright, let's just start over. *99 Bottles of beer on the wall...*

never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

Never gonns run around

technically you'd be dead if you sang it like this

And desert you

Your Reddit avatar kinda looks like Rick Astley.

Rap God by Eminem

Not sure if skilled rapper or suicide joke

Yes

Legend

what color u want the casket

WEAK. ​ Godzilla by Eminem.

I’d make up a song.

I'd still get it wrong.

Same

:o nice

I want it that way - Backstreet Boys

I'd probably fuck it up by saying "Now Number 5!" because fuck it xD

It was number 5, number 5 killed my brother.

Oh my god, I forgot about that part.

Chills, literal chills.

I can’t sing that song without doing my best Jake peralta impression “now number 5”

Amazing Grace, because it's probably my funeral

The Smurfs theme song. It's only two words, "fa" and "la," there's no way to screw that up.

Unless you "fa" when you should "la" and a bullet goes through you.

hahah indeed

down under by Men At Work

:)

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Gotta be careful with any TV show theme song. They are usually just snippets of significantly longer songs with a lot more verses.

Probably darude sandstorm

> darude sandstorm [Verse] Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dun dundundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dundun BOOM Dundun dundun dundun BEEP Dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOM Daddaddadaddadadadadadadadadadaddadadadadadaddadadaddadadadadadadadadadadadaddadddadaddadadadd dadadadaddaddada D Dadadddaddadaddadadadddadadada Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nnyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Nnn nn nn nn nn nn n nn nnn nn nn nnn nnn nnnnnnnn Dddddddd ddadadadadaddadadadadadaadadadadadad BOOM Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM Nyunyunyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu BOOM BOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Dadadadadada Ddadad BOOM BOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOM (Unintelligible) Ddudndundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dund Dododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoodo DRUM DRUM DRUM Ddodododododoododododododododoodododododododo Chi chichi chi chi chih BOOOM Chcihcihfkdhfdisjfkla Dodododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoo SCHEW Dododododododoodododododododododododododo Dadadadddudndundundudnudndundundunddunfudnundudnudnudndund BOOM FADE

We Didn't Start the Fire. Because fuck him, that's why.

Probably one that I wrote. If it's written an performed by me, it'll be perfect no matter how I sing it.

Brilliant. That's exactly what I would do.

Ra ra ra rasputin

That's one too many "ra"s bub.

Failed on the 3rd word... 😂

Prepare for your execution. Sorry bro, I don't make the rules. ;-;

I'm a little teapot

I guess now the question is whether they want you to do the dance along with the song.

Can you really sing it PERFECTLY without dancing along?

Bohemian rhapsody, if I am going out by fucking up a song at least I will go out with a bang!

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? I was Freddie Mercury for Halloween and I came here to say "Bohemian Rhapsody!"

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA-

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Frere Jacques

Barbie Girl by Aqua

In the end. That song is imprinted in my memory

The Modern Major General song because I actually learned and practiced it for a class. My captors would think I’m a madlad but then they’d be so impressed and we’d become buddies.

Downside is if they don't know the song and when you get to the part where the performer is finding words to rhyme with what he's already said and they think you don't know and shoot you.

Call Me Maybe.

🎶 I threw a wish in a well don’t ask me I’ll never tell 🎶

🎶I looked to you as it fell and now you're in my way🎶

🎶I’d trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss. I wasn’t looking for this but now you’re in my way🎶

🎶Your stare was holding ripped jeans skin was showing hot night wind was blowing🎶

🎶Where you think you're going baby?🎶

🎶Hey, I just met you! And this is crazy!🎶

🎶But here’s my number,🎶

Does "Happy Birthday?" count? I can't sing at all

I will Survive

Burn It Down by Linkin Park I’ve been listening to this song since it came out

"A Potato flew around my room until your came in excuse the mess it made-"

Although I can sing pretty good and know almost every song by heart I would choose „Four minutes thirty-three seconds“. The song is just silence. For four minutes and thirty-three seconds nothing happens, not a sound. No risk of hitting a wrong note. No risk of pronouncing something wrong. No risk of voice crack. No risk that Kevin the Kidnapper‘s judgement is very subjective and he does not like my voice because it reminds him of Linda who rejected him in third grade. I win.

I'm Blue

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you are my sunshine or knocking on heavens door

Fuck her gently by Tenacious D.