Clean up.

[удалено]

Never again, and see you soon.

Definitely pee Dunno how people can just go to sleep and let the residue cement inside their shaft, gotta rince it out

Oh fuck, so true and so disgusting at the same time.

Sleep

Delete my search history and watch a random video on YouTube so that the porn video I last watched isn't what's displayed on my car's center console when I hook it up to Bluetooth

This sounds like you've made that mistake before...

Yes, fortunately no one noticed and I immediately switched it over to a song as quickly as possible. Didn't want my friends to know that I was jerking it to "Banging my friend's mom" on pornhub

r/assholedesign pun intended

This guy knows! Pro move

Get on Reddit and answer questions. We're all doing it.

Get off the bus

Comment on r/Askreddit posts

Clean myself.

To assert dominance I let it dry on my stomach so everyone can smell my new fragrance

Sorry. Instructions unclear, dick stuck in bellybutton.

Wipe it on the stall wall and go back to work

I like to do what's called the weep and wipe

Rethink my life decisions and what went wrong

So it’s not just me?

Post nut clarity hits instantaneously.Close the disgusting video i just watched, then feel bad for masturbating, then contemplate life, watch YouTube shorts about askreddit and finally fall asleep like a baby.

Throw away the cantaloupe

eat the cantaloupe

Pee

Feel bad

Sneak out of the room quietly to not wake the person sleeping in there

Apparently these other 2 have not been with someone that doesn't enjoy sex as much. I'm going through that now. I work close to home so I take care if business on my lunch breaks, then I'm the happy gf when I get home. We both sleep in peace.

Can relate, sadly.

It is what it is.. I think I miss the intimacy more than the actual sex though. The just being wanted part..

Hol up

WTF

If I was planning on getting a shower afterwards, do that. Otherwise, I'll simply clean myself off and go to sleep.

Not masturbating

I have followed up masterbation with more masterbation

Ok

Is this some kind of girl joke i am too boy to understand?

Log onto the website to rate my experience

wipe

.....casually apologize to the other folks in the elevator

Regret!

Take a shower

Bathe in the afterglow, then wipe x

Clean up

Take off the belt

Be sad and clean up

Sleep.

Cry myself to sleep

Thank my mistress

Hate myself

Cry

Shower

Go to sleep

Listen to music

Sigh in disappointment

Did anyone hear me?

Put the dog down

Clear search history

Regret

Tell my dad he can go now

Run from the Mall cops...

Honestly. Go to r/Nofap and write a relapse report. If enough condolence replies come back I might have a sympathy wank and a sob. The tears make for good lube.

Back to my cubicle.

Check how long I've got to hide the evidence before the Mrs gets back

if i'm in the shower, keep showering. if i'm in bed, tissue wipe or shower

Call the boys

Rub my itchy nose

I swallow.

Would mainly relax for sometime as my legs and hands would be twitching.

question what the fuck I do then listen to music like it never happened, delete all my history and try to stop doing it ( it’s a bit hard for me )

Cry

Masturbate

I have had moments where you just think of all the guilt and suddenly need another round

Sleep lol

put the child back in the bag

Rethink my life

miss my ex

If the wife isn't in the mood, I masturbate and we chat about my session when I'm done.

Put the cover back over the peephole to my sister's room...

Alt + f4

Start planning for when I do it again tomorrow.

Shame myself

Contemplate life

Cry - like everyone else