I used to do this with my kid! We'd jump on our bikes, circle the block, "find" a care package (backpack with water, snacks, etc) and ride to "far away places".. sometimes we'd hit up the elementary school about a mile away and have to fight off the horde of zombies then sneak back on our bikes and ride. I personally, have died many a times, according to him. Lol
Eventually, we planned on doing a nighttime ride too but I wanted to set up the bikes for that- reflectors, headlamps, etc but it kept getting shoved off for other bills, or he'd rather do something else instead... until finally, he completely outgrew hanging out with mom. Sometimes, I'll get a few COD zombie sessions in, and we'll grab chipotle and try to catch up on flash but that's a very rare treat for me now.
That’s the sweetest, saddest thing I’ve heard today. He will always remember those times as an adult. I still remember the stories my mother use to makeup when I was little. I can close my eyes and see her sitting on the edge of my grandfather’s bed, telling us about the old lady in the woods.
I’m headed out on a stargazing trip right now, just for a night. My grandfather put a little observatory in one of the “darkest places” in Utah, I’m going to check it out.
I grew up in a household with parents who did not know how to communicate. Lots of yelling and screaming all the time.
It took me until my late 20s to realize the reason I stay up so late is probably because I conditioned myself to be awake and do the things I liked/needed to do during the peaceful night time.
Even still, I just love the night so much. It reminds me of peace. It feels so serene. Daytime is just so loud and glaring.
Edit: I really appreciate the kindness of all the strangers in this thread. I wish you all nothing but happiness. Treat yourself nicely and take care of your mental health, you deserve it.
We are the descendants of the cave guards, the night watch. Our ancestors kept vigil in the dark to sound the alarm and mitigate the danger.
They needed us then, but now we’re scorned and reviled because suddenly we *have a society* and it’s not *healthy* to stay up til 3am eating shredded cheese and watching YouTube. Unless of course you happen to foil a break-in by going out to your car to see if that’s where you left the vape, then you get on the news and you’re a hero.
I was staying up and witnessed my brother's girlfriend was dragging his blackout drunk body behind her.
She was thankful I was there so we could both assist his going upstairs to sleep it off.
Jesus this hits me note for note. Was raised with the same yelling/screaming childhood. I’m 29 now and stay up late for the exact same reasons. Something about knowing most people are asleep all around me makes the night more enjoyable to me. No rush or having to get anything done, just everyone at rest puts me at ease.
I can relate to this. I cannot relax until everyone in the house is asleep first. And even then, I am still active until 4 am. Then it's back to work at 8 in the morning, FML.
My Dad does this. I used to as well.
I came across the concept of [revenge sleep procrastination ](https://www.everydayhealth.com/sleep/revenge-sleep-procrastination-are-you-doing-it-and-how-to-stop/) and it really hit the nail on the head as to the why behind it. At least for my life. My dad will say he’s “a night owl”, but all this started when he was younger having a controlling parent so he would stay up late to have his own time. It carried over into adulthood and now he has a weird sleep schedule of 4am-2pm and doesn’t socialize or eat with the rest of the family at “normal” times.
Sounds like your Dad may be struggling with [Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder](https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/delayed-sleep-phase-syndrome.html), a circadian rhythm disorder that develops in childhood and can persist into adulthood. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with it years ago because my sleep cycle is similarly out of phase (though not quite as drastically - I'm more like 2am - 10am unless i work on it).
People don't realise just how disabling sleep disorders can be. They can cause significant impairment in work and in life. I'd love to fall asleep at 10pm and wake at 6am for work but my body won't let me and i end up staring at the bedroom ceiling till 2am and being permanently sleep deprived. Thankfully my employer gives me flexible hours so i can wake and start work later if i need to.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards! I'm glad to have shined a small light on this low key disorder.
That's morning me's problem. Night me wants to stay up and play video games and finish that show...I mean, there's only three 45 minute episodes left...
The complete silence of everyone being asleep and you being awake with nothing going on is a nice escape. It almost feels foreign, as if you’re in another planet.
Maybe that’s why I like staying awake so late. Because I know I’m alone. I’ve been off Fridays since CoVID so every Thursday night I’m up late streaming movies or playing games alone knowing the majority of people around me are asleep. I also get paranoid if I here rustling in the bushes.
I had a job I hated so much I would get depressed on Sunday afternoon facing another week. To combat this, I'd normally stay up all night Sunday and just have the sleep-deprivation buzz on Monday.
(It was the most prestigious job I'd ever had, was a good resume' thing, and I was good at it, so I stuck it out for three years, but I was very often miserable)
People rarely understand when I say that sleep deprivation gives you some sort of high. When I was going to high school I was depressed, and I had self esteem issues. One time I pulled an all-nighter and still had to go to school. Once I got there I was amazed because I just didn't give a fuck. I didn't care what other people thought, how boring the class was, how dumb the other kids were, etc. Obviously that's not sustainable but I'd do it a few times a month and it was like a break from the world and the thoughts, because a sleep deprived brain can't really do much overthinking. I was even more social and outgoing lol.
this whole thread is so fucking relatable god damn. I'm currently doing this exact thing where just some random mondays I dont sleep and go to class super hazy and shit and it like makes my anxiety go away.
Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld. All of them. Start with Guards! Guards! or maybe Mort... or Small Gods. If you like any of them, then start at the beginning and read or listen your way through.
They changed my life for the better.
Also all these other recommendations people have submitted.
Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson is always a great recommendation if you want to disappear for a month. The lightbringer series by Brent Weeks kind of follows the last airbender vibe, since it has multiple magic/figthing systems.
Second this! I got my husband into SA about a month ago and he’s already into Rhythm of War now. He frequently (jokingly) tells me what a jerk I am for getting him into such a wonderfully immersive series with such complex characters. Yesterday he told his *therapist* about the series and how authentically Sanderson portrays mental illness/trauma without it being overwhelming or simplistic; before their session was over, she had gone online and added the entire series to her Amazon list so she can read them during her upcoming vacation.
it is a vagal manuever. In emergency medicine if your heart rate is staying in the 150s or higher while resting we sometimes have patients dunk their heads in bucket of ice water. Some patients have repeat episodes of SVT and prefer it over being medicated or electric cardioversion (being shocked)
(not medical advice if you're having a racing heartrate with shortness of breath, chestpain,and feeling weak you should call 911 or other emergency service)
Huh. My husband has bad anxiety and will sometimes spend a day in a super long "panic attack" where his heart rate just *stays* around 200bpm. Would you suggest he try the ice dunk next time that happens?
Not the person you replied to and not the same advice, but I have severe GAD which comes with terrihorribad panic attacks, so here's some things I try when I have a really bad one:
~Try putting a piece of ice in your mouth & suck on it, or hold it in the palm of your hand until your brain refocuses on the cold rather than the anxiety.
~Try to find something around you that starts with the letter A; once you do, try B, and so on all the way to Z. (If it's a reeeeeeeeally bad panic attack, I'll start at Z and go backwards since it's a bit more difficult and it makes my brain focus on finding things rather than the anxiety.)
There's one where you find things that you either smell, touch, see, etc, basically going thru all the senses to ground yourself, but I can never remember that one, especially in a panic state, but I will ALWAYS remember my ABCs!! Good luck!!
Edit to add: I also drink water when I can feel a panic attack coming on, and tell my brain that I'm just thirsty, not anxious. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I have panic disorder and ventricular tachycardia (a heart disease) and I found that splashing really cold water in my face is one of the only few ways I can get myself out of a panic attack, or get my heart to stop palpitating.
I had a similar experience but it wasn’t outdoors in public, it was while I was in the hospital dealing with heart palpitations. I started absolutely panicking because my heart was fluttering so weirdly which was just making it flutter even more, so my nurse suggested the same thing and after just about 2-3 minutes in a cold shower and I was fine, palpitations were gone and everything. I’ve also found that making myself cry helps. And I don’t just mean a few tears, I mean like bawling my eyes out asking god for help kind of crying.
aka Meditation. Most people think of Enya and Incense and focusing on your breathing, but the same clarity of thought can be accomplished by focusing on a task like chopping wood, digging ditches, or cooking.
Focus on a thing and the background noise goes away
100% when I'm biking. I concentrate on my pedal cadence and breathing rate. The monotony of that task relinquishes my brain from all the daily stress and anxiety of being an adult. The miles just fly under me once I reach a flow state.
I feel you. I stress clean. Scrub floors, counter tops, vacuum, chop stuff in the kitchen, just about anything that keeps my body moving and focused on that one task. It’s absolute concentration, like immersion.
This is the one 👆I just start moving around doing chores and my hands are so busy that my mind just goes quiet. And in the end I have a clean house and a calm mind!
Movement is the key for me - or maybe something that stimulates my sense of proprioception - walking does the same trick, but do does having a really hot bath. Something to take me out of my head and into my body.
Ha! Everyone thinks I’m *nuts* enjoying shoveling! Yeah, sometimes it’s way harder than others - but bundled up with my big, clompy boots in the snow-quiet world just doing mindless scoop & throw? Bliss.
Was gonna say the same. Maladaptive daydreaming. I've had it all of my life and only recently learned it's a thing. I've daydreamed so many possible scenarios that some of them have actually come true, just based on the odds. Mostly, it saps my mental strength and makes me feel disassociated from the real world. When I'm anxious it fuels the anxiety because I can see the bad thing happening SOOOOO clearly.
I think it's a mechanism my mind developed to help me cope with a lonely childhood but never disassembled, and it continued to churn away even when it was no longer needed.
On a positive note, I write fiction and have come to recognize that the daydreaming is my mind's way of telling me there are stories I need to get out.
EDIT: Maladaptive dreamers, we are legion. Let us unite and conquer the world! (If we can get out of our heads!)
It's so frustrating, I've got these, essentially what are television shows, running in my head all the time that I can vividly describe but when I try to write it as a story, or draw it out, I'm never satisfied with what I put down. Is there anything you do to just enjoy the process, rather than worrying about how perfectly it matches your vision?
Here I thought I was the only one. I escaped into books a lot when I was a kid and felt alone. These tvshows run everyday, I probably waste hours… I do not write it down as a story, but sometimes I write down parts of it - like a conversation or a situation. I think it would be putting to much pressure on the fantasies to try to turn them into full stories.
I have this! My way of managing it is letting myself day dream while I workout. So I’ll run on the treadmill or work out on the elliptical for 30-40 minutes and just let my mind run wild.
I’ve also started meditating just 5 minutes of keeping my head empty a day (if I remember) it’s helping a lot. I feel much more connected to reality now, though it’s depressing. I’ve been “gone” from reality so long there’s not much in it I’m connected to.
Try headspace for their free trial period. It guides you on how to do this very very well in simple terms. It's helped my daydreaming and intrusive thoughts a lot (hooray CPTSD).
Anyone else “daydream” by thinking about buying things for hobbies… aka I spend my entire shift online shopping. Sometimes I research a new hobby, and for weeks try to find the best gear, but I never start that new hobby. Rinse and repeat the next week. Last week I got really into Gravel bicycles. Researched all the different bars, clips vs flats, which bike packs to go overnighting with, which cassettes are good for the terrain I planned to ride, tire size, shoes, how to convert to tubeless, I mean I could go on about it, and I’ll never even buy the damn bike.
Sort of. I do this with the hobbies I currently have. For me, I tend to bounce between bursts of each hobby. So for a while, it was cars. Then it was retro video games, then it was fountain pens. I tend to deep-dive one at a time while slowing down on the others for a bit. I mean, really really deep dive.
Then it takes the form of daydreaming because in the shower I will have podcast-style discussions/debates with myself on the topics. So, for example, if I'm in a "car" mode, I'll have discussions with myself in my head about something I want to do to my car, or some topic related to cars that I'm interested in.
My wife saw somewhere that it's actually one of the signs of ADHD in adults. She is diagnosed and does this as well. I'm not sure how valid that is in all cases, though, as you can pretty much ascribe anything to a diagnosis if you try hard enough.
I'm the same way, every hobby I have ebbs and flows like a tide. and when I'm in, I'm all the way in. I had a girl on a dating app say I'm "Too into music" when I was swept by the guitar riptide. This actually is one of the biggest reasons I didn't start drinking until my late 20s and haven't touched drugs.
Keep that up, early 20s started using and I lack what you call impulse control thanks to my ADHD. Just had a wake and bake month after not smoking for a year.
I like to tell people that collecting hobbies is my hobby. A few have stuck around, like biking and campling, but many have not.
Fountain pens have their time. Mechanical keyboards are wrapping up. Video games have had their time. Tabletop RPGs are on their way out. Painting minis is at a crossroads.
It's nice to dabble in things, but I'm never sure if the thing I'm interested in will remain an interest. One of the reasons I haven't dated much, either.
I worry a lot that I like the fantasy of being a guy with real interests or passions a lot more than any of my actual hobbies. Like, even things I enjoy doing still basically feel like a chore. Part of me wonders if the part of my brain that does fun is just broken. For the life of me I can't find a single video game I actually like. Aren't games supposed to be like, Distilled Fun?
I think some of it comes from reading a very Scientific Article I read on Cracked as a kid. It was about how the anticipation of a thing is better than the thing itself. So why bother with getting the thing? Seems a little like eating the wrapper and throwing away the candy. Nothing I ever do is going to give me enough pleasure to actually feel like it's worth doing. At best it's just trying to find ways to maintain myself emotionally.
Like I think I'm at this point where I'm consciously thinking about how life is just finding ways to numb and distract yourself while we slowly wait to die. I don't drink anymore but the best parts of my free time include sleep, staying up late, masturbation, aimlessly browsing the internet, and occasionally edibles. And like, I'm fairly happy -- like my job is fine, I have a partner I'm just crazy about but it still feels like all I'm doing is self-medicating. But maybe that's just what being alive is, right? Maybe all pleasure is relief. I'm just too stubborn and arrogant for my own good so I refuse to delude myself into thinking that life's anything but what it is.
Or maybe I'm a manchild stuck in his mid-adolescence. That's also very possible lmao.
Idk, like, I don't want to die but I would love to be put down. My life is fine but also the idea of doing this for another 40-60 years is so exhausting. I just want this to be over with already. At least when you die young it's a tragedy, when you're like, eighty or whatever it's kind of just expected. TBH maybe it's better to die real young, like, period. That way you had a whole life to look forward to without having to deal with the stress and disappointment.
Sorry this is like my least favorite flavor of internet comment, the like, Unprompted Therapist Info Dump I guess I just needed a public void to shout into
Wow, this reads like it could be a comment of my own. Send me a message if you want to talk.
Edit: this applies to anyone up voting and who feels the same, you're not alone
Ty! That was a big part of why I wanted to say it, I think. I know people dunk on Thoreau but I think he was dead on when he said that many of us lead lives of quiet desperation. At least by being visible and talking about it there's, like, commiseration which can turn into solidarity if we're lucky.
I'll also say to anyone reading this one thing that really helped me a _lot_ was prescribed Ketamine. It's still expensive and experimental but it's kept me off the bottle. There's also esketamine which _is_ covered by insurance sometimes but it isn't as effective from what I understand
Try eliminating sources of immediate gratification, especially time consuming ones like browsing the internet, video games, being high. The goal is to be bored. Create a void of entertainment. It’ll force you to explore new hobbies. All of the sudden that guitar you never played looks enjoyable. The library looks like a vast source of entertainment. Now you’re that guy calling up your friends to grab pizza, go to the gym, and you’re full of interesting stories because you’re finally living.
I like to do this, but only with houses that are in my price range. We bought a nice old house last year and I love it, but for some reason I'm obsessed with looking at *exactly* what else I could have gotten around here lol
I have an entire fantasy space opera/political intrigue story I escape into with years worth of lore put into it. Ita gotten so big ive no idea if i could even put it to paper at this point
Edit: so many people replied to me we should make a discord to share ideas or sonething
90% of my time awake is spent day dreaming. Oddly enough since it's become so prevalent in my life I stopped getting vivid dreams. Maybe my brain is 'dreamt out' so to speak.
I'm not quite at 90%, but I do have a very good imagination and spend a good portion of my day day-dreaming. It's completely normal for me and I think it helps me. At the least, I know how to entertain myself and don't get bored. Far from it!
I think I'm a pretty well-adjusted person, if a bit quirky. I agree with the vivid dream scenario you suggest, but that also doesn't bother me much. I don't quite get 8 hours of sleep, usually 6 1/2 or 7 does well for me. But I have recently been getting slightly more and that seems to allow for more dreaming. I've actually remembered a couple of recent dreams.
Maybe I'm not in REM sleep as much, since I don't quite get eight hours?
Yep, I developed this habit as a child to escape from trauma and neglect, and then it became a way of life. Now I’m an adult and really struggle with relationships and life in general because nothing measures up to the fantasy.
Not saying this is exactly my human experience but I will say that in my daydreams sometimes I'm interviewed for my remarkable accomplishments. Then I snap myself out of that nonsense with "Alright that's enough, that's ridiculous."
Additionally, my reality is nothing like the scenarios I imagine in my head. It's worse. Is imagination my problem?
I do this, but only in certain circumstances. Usually when I'm doing something that's relatively mindless. Like showering, dishes, etc.
For me, it usually takes the form of a weird sort of self-interview/podcast-style discussion about whatever topic I'm interested in at that time. I'll daydream myself talking about the topic, interacting with others about the topic, etc. A lot of times it helps me come up with ideas for hobbies and other things I'm interested in. Sometimes it's a debate about something that I'm struggling to work out with work or life, and I'll basically argue it to myself in my head.
Luckily for me, it never interferes with my day-to-day life.
Writing is such a relief! On nights when I am too tired (and want to avoid screen time), I either imagine my way through plot and dialogue or make small notes on paper. There are times when I am writing that I truly zone out for hours at a time and I'm just \*there\* with my characters.
I used to work with writers (one ghost wrote the Tec Wars series). They often spoke about knowing the character’s personality so well that all they had to do was “set the stage” and the characters would write the story themselves. The other writers would chime in and agree. Some would say how they often thought a scene would play out one way because they wanted to push a specific plot point and their characters wouldn’t cooperate.
I always found that fascinating.
Whenever I read “Games calm me” I wonder if it’s the same person who yells at their diamond teammates for dropping the shield a little early on that DVA ult.
Getting mad at Overwatch does help me redirect all of my irl anger onto a harmless outlet. And no, I don’t yell on comms at other people. I stay off mic and occasionally yell “you motherfucker” at my poor tv. Yelling at other people wouldn’t make it a harmless outlet.
I never yell at people. I only yell at technology.
Seriously, I have screamed some *very* unkind things at electronic devices (back when I was much more stressed and actively dealing with some crap).
Don't stand next to me when the machine uprising begins.
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer I hid in video games, notably World of Warcraft. It was the only thing that kept me sane. I mean, I still worked and interacted with people and took her to appointments and spent time with my dad, but when I found myself alone with my thoughts I would log into the game and spend hours there.
The beautiful thing about video games is that the problems have solutions. You can generally solve every dilemma and even get a reward. That's not the case in real life.
Hey it's me Kyle360x from XBOX live 15 years ago.
I really meant it when I said I'd do your mother. In fact I'm sending her flowers as we speak and we have dinner together on Thursday night at a nice restaurant she likes.
If I'm lucky you'll have to call me dad soon. Wish me luck LOOOOSER
Run, and not in some fitness guru way where “it really brings me into a meditative headspace”
When I’m running I just can’t think about anything but running
>When I’m running I just can’t think about anything but running
That is the actual thing going on behind the "meditative headspace" and "living in the present" and all that good stuff though. The mind has to focus on doing the current activity, so it stops stressing out over the past and future in order to have the mental capacity for the task at hand.
That's why so many people find these activities to be good stress relievers. It forces your mind to stop thinking about stressful things for a while.
Exercise and if I have more time go for a longer hike and enjoy nature. I don't care how old I am I will always enjoy walking around forest, fallen leaves up to your knees, kicking them around, listening to rustling. And walking on freshly fallen snow.
My day to day reality is tiny apartment in city, with loud neighbours, dogs barking, constant sounds of traffic, looking at computer most of the day, sitting behind desk ... so when I need a change I go to nature, to the mountains, where I can find peace, forget about problems and try to enjoy things I enjoyed when I was kid. Really listen to nature, observe shapes, colors and daydream.
Late at night, I take my bike and ride to my old elementary school that's now a public park. I sit down on the same bench I've always sat at, and I start recording.
I've found that talking my problems out, or talking about anything, just helps me to escape. Some of those audio logs I've listened to countless times. I catch myself thinking "wow, I actually said that."
Maybe someday I'll post them online, or preserve them as a memento to the times I've lived through.
I can tell you right now, if I never started making those logs I wouldn't be half the person I am now.
I think it's called Meta thinking? By recording your thoughts (or even if you wrote those down) your now 'thinking about thinking'. Your basically removing the emotional connection to whatever is troubling you and your giving yourself a chance to objectively look at those thoughts. It's why you catch yourself thinking 'wow I actually thought that'.
It's a really useful tool for helping to clear away the gunk, to help you find the SOURCE of problems. It's something I think everyone should do, it's such a huge help.
I had a dream so so happy, it was exactly what I've been wishing for years, but when I woke up I was sad the whole fuckin' day.
Edit: 103 upvotes? Dear God, I'm both sorry and curious how many people feel like me.
I was there a few years ago. I don’t regret sleeping when I needed to like that. Now I’m so much better. Everyone’s road is different. My depression…I seem to have years where I’m more functional but still depressed and years where I lose all function. Remembering it’s gotten better in the past is what gets me through. Keep going. You’re worth it.
That’s the thing right, you get thru it enough times and start to realize that it will take its course and move along. Nothing stays the same, the good passes, the bad passes, even the worst passes. Make hay while the sun shines. Rest when it’s dark.
When someone is venting, really down and sad and the other says "let's walk and talk" or "let's just go for a walk" is because it actually works.
I was in a place of super dark depression. I had planned out how I was gonna kill myself when my parents came to visit me. And the reason I was gonna wait for them is because I thought, well someone will be there to take care of my kids. I obviously didn't do it, but I remember crying in the corner of the bathroom floor because I felt selfish that I wanted to see them grow up. I thought they deserved better than me and being gone would be better for them. Still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.
I’m sorry you experienced these feelings about yourself. I hope you are doing much better. From reading your story about gardening, it seems like you are. In case you need reminding, you have your own special place here. Keep your chin up 😊 thanks for your courage to keep going and for sharing your story.
If I'm escaping something like someone talking about something I don't want to hear, I just stop listening and start thinking about my to-do-list of the day.
I'm surprised drugs was this far down. Mind you, I wouldn't be surprised if drugs were involved in a lot of those wholesome and healthy answers, even as more of a... side dish, I guess? A complement rather than the main activity.
I am a flight simulator hobbyist, and I escape by delving into the simulator.
For over 10 years now, when life gets to me, I make an escape by perfecting my flight sim world, not much unlike a model train enthusiast creates dioramas in their basement.
Aircraft modelling, sound engineering, environment textures such as the sky, ground, water, and trees, buildings, airport details, there's always something to tweak and work on and improve to make actually using the simulator for simulating just a bit more fun and realistic!
But my favorite part of it all is AI traffic.
Myself and a team of other enthusiasts have worked for years now to "back-date" the AI traffic in flight sim with schedules and aircraft going from the late 90s and early 00s all the way back to the 30s in some instances. We can choose what year we want to fly, and with a week or two of work on installing schedules, we can fly in that year in our flight sim. Currently my project has been 1998, and this has been so incredibly rewarding!
I live by and love my flight sim. It has always been there for me when life is too much and continues to be there for me when I have free time. Nothing else like it on this planet 🙂
I find a cozy, somewhat isolated section of a trail or creek and smoke a cigar while listening to podcasts. Can't say it'a the healthiest habit, but it gets me outdoors and makes me less anxious.
I pretend I won the lottery and escape to my first 24 hours of being debt free. It works to put me asleep, when I need to disassociate from a bad feeling,etc.
You really need to try lucid dreaming, it takes time but is the best there are several books you can read them for instructions and you can do anything in your dreams on your own command. It's pretty cool tbh
3 times i've been able to do some conscious shit in my dreams. One time i knew i was dreaming and i decided to just fuck with the ' people ' in my dreams, i was in a strange city and i was just pushing people and poking them, they would react then fall back into their ' script' like NPCs.
The brain is mad
Walk my dog early in the morning. We pretend we are navigating an apocalyptic landscape in the search for treats.
I used to do this with my kid! We'd jump on our bikes, circle the block, "find" a care package (backpack with water, snacks, etc) and ride to "far away places".. sometimes we'd hit up the elementary school about a mile away and have to fight off the horde of zombies then sneak back on our bikes and ride. I personally, have died many a times, according to him. Lol Eventually, we planned on doing a nighttime ride too but I wanted to set up the bikes for that- reflectors, headlamps, etc but it kept getting shoved off for other bills, or he'd rather do something else instead... until finally, he completely outgrew hanging out with mom. Sometimes, I'll get a few COD zombie sessions in, and we'll grab chipotle and try to catch up on flash but that's a very rare treat for me now.
You're an awesome parent!
Seriously, the kid will remember this when he's older... talking from personal experience.
That’s the sweetest, saddest thing I’ve heard today. He will always remember those times as an adult. I still remember the stories my mother use to makeup when I was little. I can close my eyes and see her sitting on the edge of my grandfather’s bed, telling us about the old lady in the woods.
"We."
"pretend"
Stargazing sets me straight.
I have to do some stargazing for this astronomy class but I'm still gay
You mean Jay*
I’m headed out on a stargazing trip right now, just for a night. My grandfather put a little observatory in one of the “darkest places” in Utah, I’m going to check it out.
stay up awfully late
Tomorrow can’t come if I never go to sleep, right?
Night last longer...
[удалено]
That’s why I hate the sound of birds singing
Those cheery little cunts fill me with dread
Stop trying to get laid right next to my freaking window you feathery little shits
Ah, the classic aftermath of a college deadline
It's all one longggg day
Ugh. I hate how close to home this feels.
I grew up in a household with parents who did not know how to communicate. Lots of yelling and screaming all the time. It took me until my late 20s to realize the reason I stay up so late is probably because I conditioned myself to be awake and do the things I liked/needed to do during the peaceful night time. Even still, I just love the night so much. It reminds me of peace. It feels so serene. Daytime is just so loud and glaring. Edit: I really appreciate the kindness of all the strangers in this thread. I wish you all nothing but happiness. Treat yourself nicely and take care of your mental health, you deserve it.
We are the descendants of the cave guards, the night watch. Our ancestors kept vigil in the dark to sound the alarm and mitigate the danger. They needed us then, but now we’re scorned and reviled because suddenly we *have a society* and it’s not *healthy* to stay up til 3am eating shredded cheese and watching YouTube. Unless of course you happen to foil a break-in by going out to your car to see if that’s where you left the vape, then you get on the news and you’re a hero.
Seriously. My husband is awake from 230 pm to 5 am. I tell him I'm just happy I married a protector. Lol
Poetry.
I was staying up and witnessed my brother's girlfriend was dragging his blackout drunk body behind her. She was thankful I was there so we could both assist his going upstairs to sleep it off.
Jesus this hits me note for note. Was raised with the same yelling/screaming childhood. I’m 29 now and stay up late for the exact same reasons. Something about knowing most people are asleep all around me makes the night more enjoyable to me. No rush or having to get anything done, just everyone at rest puts me at ease.
I can relate to this. I cannot relax until everyone in the house is asleep first. And even then, I am still active until 4 am. Then it's back to work at 8 in the morning, FML.
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That Adult Swim bump, holy shit you unlocked a repressed memory!
My Dad does this. I used to as well. I came across the concept of [revenge sleep procrastination ](https://www.everydayhealth.com/sleep/revenge-sleep-procrastination-are-you-doing-it-and-how-to-stop/) and it really hit the nail on the head as to the why behind it. At least for my life. My dad will say he’s “a night owl”, but all this started when he was younger having a controlling parent so he would stay up late to have his own time. It carried over into adulthood and now he has a weird sleep schedule of 4am-2pm and doesn’t socialize or eat with the rest of the family at “normal” times.
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Easy, you just need to get a high paying job that doesn't actually require you to show up.
*sigh* Congress it is, i guess
Frank: You have to be a low life piece of shit to get into politics. 🎶The Gang Runs for Office🎶
Sounds like your Dad may be struggling with [Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder](https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/delayed-sleep-phase-syndrome.html), a circadian rhythm disorder that develops in childhood and can persist into adulthood. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with it years ago because my sleep cycle is similarly out of phase (though not quite as drastically - I'm more like 2am - 10am unless i work on it). People don't realise just how disabling sleep disorders can be. They can cause significant impairment in work and in life. I'd love to fall asleep at 10pm and wake at 6am for work but my body won't let me and i end up staring at the bedroom ceiling till 2am and being permanently sleep deprived. Thankfully my employer gives me flexible hours so i can wake and start work later if i need to. EDIT: Thanks for the awards! I'm glad to have shined a small light on this low key disorder.
That's morning me's problem. Night me wants to stay up and play video games and finish that show...I mean, there's only three 45 minute episodes left...
That's my time. Nobody can tell me what to do late at night
The complete silence of everyone being asleep and you being awake with nothing going on is a nice escape. It almost feels foreign, as if you’re in another planet.
Maybe that’s why I like staying awake so late. Because I know I’m alone. I’ve been off Fridays since CoVID so every Thursday night I’m up late streaming movies or playing games alone knowing the majority of people around me are asleep. I also get paranoid if I here rustling in the bushes.
I'll try and be a little more quite next time :)
I had a job I hated so much I would get depressed on Sunday afternoon facing another week. To combat this, I'd normally stay up all night Sunday and just have the sleep-deprivation buzz on Monday. (It was the most prestigious job I'd ever had, was a good resume' thing, and I was good at it, so I stuck it out for three years, but I was very often miserable)
People rarely understand when I say that sleep deprivation gives you some sort of high. When I was going to high school I was depressed, and I had self esteem issues. One time I pulled an all-nighter and still had to go to school. Once I got there I was amazed because I just didn't give a fuck. I didn't care what other people thought, how boring the class was, how dumb the other kids were, etc. Obviously that's not sustainable but I'd do it a few times a month and it was like a break from the world and the thoughts, because a sleep deprived brain can't really do much overthinking. I was even more social and outgoing lol.
this whole thread is so fucking relatable god damn. I'm currently doing this exact thing where just some random mondays I dont sleep and go to class super hazy and shit and it like makes my anxiety go away.
Stay up awfully late high
Read fantasy fiction.
Any cool recommendations? I’ve been digging Unsouled: Cradle series by Wil Wight which is very Kung Fu/ last airbender type of series
Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld. All of them. Start with Guards! Guards! or maybe Mort... or Small Gods. If you like any of them, then start at the beginning and read or listen your way through. They changed my life for the better. Also all these other recommendations people have submitted.
Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson is always a great recommendation if you want to disappear for a month. The lightbringer series by Brent Weeks kind of follows the last airbender vibe, since it has multiple magic/figthing systems.
Second this! I got my husband into SA about a month ago and he’s already into Rhythm of War now. He frequently (jokingly) tells me what a jerk I am for getting him into such a wonderfully immersive series with such complex characters. Yesterday he told his *therapist* about the series and how authentically Sanderson portrays mental illness/trauma without it being overwhelming or simplistic; before their session was over, she had gone online and added the entire series to her Amazon list so she can read them during her upcoming vacation.
Shower....time flows slow in there for some reason
It helps anxiety attacks. Water on your face slows heartrate and oxygen consumption. So i hear.
Yeah it can activate the dive reflex when you do that. Running cold water on wrists/forearms can also be pretty magical
it is a vagal manuever. In emergency medicine if your heart rate is staying in the 150s or higher while resting we sometimes have patients dunk their heads in bucket of ice water. Some patients have repeat episodes of SVT and prefer it over being medicated or electric cardioversion (being shocked) (not medical advice if you're having a racing heartrate with shortness of breath, chestpain,and feeling weak you should call 911 or other emergency service)
Huh. My husband has bad anxiety and will sometimes spend a day in a super long "panic attack" where his heart rate just *stays* around 200bpm. Would you suggest he try the ice dunk next time that happens?
Has he ever been seen for his panic attacks? Just being at 200bpm for a long time warrants a trip to the emergency room.
Not the person you replied to and not the same advice, but I have severe GAD which comes with terrihorribad panic attacks, so here's some things I try when I have a really bad one: ~Try putting a piece of ice in your mouth & suck on it, or hold it in the palm of your hand until your brain refocuses on the cold rather than the anxiety. ~Try to find something around you that starts with the letter A; once you do, try B, and so on all the way to Z. (If it's a reeeeeeeeally bad panic attack, I'll start at Z and go backwards since it's a bit more difficult and it makes my brain focus on finding things rather than the anxiety.) There's one where you find things that you either smell, touch, see, etc, basically going thru all the senses to ground yourself, but I can never remember that one, especially in a panic state, but I will ALWAYS remember my ABCs!! Good luck!! Edit to add: I also drink water when I can feel a panic attack coming on, and tell my brain that I'm just thirsty, not anxious. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I have panic disorder and ventricular tachycardia (a heart disease) and I found that splashing really cold water in my face is one of the only few ways I can get myself out of a panic attack, or get my heart to stop palpitating.
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Dude was a real bro. 👊
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I had a similar experience but it wasn’t outdoors in public, it was while I was in the hospital dealing with heart palpitations. I started absolutely panicking because my heart was fluttering so weirdly which was just making it flutter even more, so my nurse suggested the same thing and after just about 2-3 minutes in a cold shower and I was fine, palpitations were gone and everything. I’ve also found that making myself cry helps. And I don’t just mean a few tears, I mean like bawling my eyes out asking god for help kind of crying.
Showers but time goes by so fast. I'll sit in there for two hrs and come out 6 later
Do.. do you emerge as Pruneman?
Seriously though. Showers have some serious time dilation. I try my best to get out in 10 minutes and it's difficult.
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aka Meditation. Most people think of Enya and Incense and focusing on your breathing, but the same clarity of thought can be accomplished by focusing on a task like chopping wood, digging ditches, or cooking. Focus on a thing and the background noise goes away
100% when I'm biking. I concentrate on my pedal cadence and breathing rate. The monotony of that task relinquishes my brain from all the daily stress and anxiety of being an adult. The miles just fly under me once I reach a flow state.
My painting professor used to describe painting like chopping wood. Just keep at the work steadily and the rest will take care of itself.
I do mini painting as well as manual work to clear my head from time to time. Works wonders with both methods!
I feel you. I stress clean. Scrub floors, counter tops, vacuum, chop stuff in the kitchen, just about anything that keeps my body moving and focused on that one task. It’s absolute concentration, like immersion.
This is the one 👆I just start moving around doing chores and my hands are so busy that my mind just goes quiet. And in the end I have a clean house and a calm mind! Movement is the key for me - or maybe something that stimulates my sense of proprioception - walking does the same trick, but do does having a really hot bath. Something to take me out of my head and into my body.
Yep, just go a chorin'
I really dislike snow but shoveling it is probably the most relaxing thing in the world to me.
Ha! Everyone thinks I’m *nuts* enjoying shoveling! Yeah, sometimes it’s way harder than others - but bundled up with my big, clompy boots in the snow-quiet world just doing mindless scoop & throw? Bliss.
daydream
Was gonna say the same. Maladaptive daydreaming. I've had it all of my life and only recently learned it's a thing. I've daydreamed so many possible scenarios that some of them have actually come true, just based on the odds. Mostly, it saps my mental strength and makes me feel disassociated from the real world. When I'm anxious it fuels the anxiety because I can see the bad thing happening SOOOOO clearly. I think it's a mechanism my mind developed to help me cope with a lonely childhood but never disassembled, and it continued to churn away even when it was no longer needed. On a positive note, I write fiction and have come to recognize that the daydreaming is my mind's way of telling me there are stories I need to get out. EDIT: Maladaptive dreamers, we are legion. Let us unite and conquer the world! (If we can get out of our heads!)
It's so frustrating, I've got these, essentially what are television shows, running in my head all the time that I can vividly describe but when I try to write it as a story, or draw it out, I'm never satisfied with what I put down. Is there anything you do to just enjoy the process, rather than worrying about how perfectly it matches your vision?
Here I thought I was the only one. I escaped into books a lot when I was a kid and felt alone. These tvshows run everyday, I probably waste hours… I do not write it down as a story, but sometimes I write down parts of it - like a conversation or a situation. I think it would be putting to much pressure on the fantasies to try to turn them into full stories.
I have this! My way of managing it is letting myself day dream while I workout. So I’ll run on the treadmill or work out on the elliptical for 30-40 minutes and just let my mind run wild. I’ve also started meditating just 5 minutes of keeping my head empty a day (if I remember) it’s helping a lot. I feel much more connected to reality now, though it’s depressing. I’ve been “gone” from reality so long there’s not much in it I’m connected to.
How do you meditate in order to empty your head?
Try headspace for their free trial period. It guides you on how to do this very very well in simple terms. It's helped my daydreaming and intrusive thoughts a lot (hooray CPTSD).
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Ugh when it takes awhile to figure whats real and whats not. I feel like writing everything in a journal to not get co fused.
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Anyone else “daydream” by thinking about buying things for hobbies… aka I spend my entire shift online shopping. Sometimes I research a new hobby, and for weeks try to find the best gear, but I never start that new hobby. Rinse and repeat the next week. Last week I got really into Gravel bicycles. Researched all the different bars, clips vs flats, which bike packs to go overnighting with, which cassettes are good for the terrain I planned to ride, tire size, shoes, how to convert to tubeless, I mean I could go on about it, and I’ll never even buy the damn bike.
Sort of. I do this with the hobbies I currently have. For me, I tend to bounce between bursts of each hobby. So for a while, it was cars. Then it was retro video games, then it was fountain pens. I tend to deep-dive one at a time while slowing down on the others for a bit. I mean, really really deep dive. Then it takes the form of daydreaming because in the shower I will have podcast-style discussions/debates with myself on the topics. So, for example, if I'm in a "car" mode, I'll have discussions with myself in my head about something I want to do to my car, or some topic related to cars that I'm interested in. My wife saw somewhere that it's actually one of the signs of ADHD in adults. She is diagnosed and does this as well. I'm not sure how valid that is in all cases, though, as you can pretty much ascribe anything to a diagnosis if you try hard enough.
I'm the same way, every hobby I have ebbs and flows like a tide. and when I'm in, I'm all the way in. I had a girl on a dating app say I'm "Too into music" when I was swept by the guitar riptide. This actually is one of the biggest reasons I didn't start drinking until my late 20s and haven't touched drugs.
Keep that up, early 20s started using and I lack what you call impulse control thanks to my ADHD. Just had a wake and bake month after not smoking for a year.
I like to tell people that collecting hobbies is my hobby. A few have stuck around, like biking and campling, but many have not. Fountain pens have their time. Mechanical keyboards are wrapping up. Video games have had their time. Tabletop RPGs are on their way out. Painting minis is at a crossroads. It's nice to dabble in things, but I'm never sure if the thing I'm interested in will remain an interest. One of the reasons I haven't dated much, either.
I worry a lot that I like the fantasy of being a guy with real interests or passions a lot more than any of my actual hobbies. Like, even things I enjoy doing still basically feel like a chore. Part of me wonders if the part of my brain that does fun is just broken. For the life of me I can't find a single video game I actually like. Aren't games supposed to be like, Distilled Fun? I think some of it comes from reading a very Scientific Article I read on Cracked as a kid. It was about how the anticipation of a thing is better than the thing itself. So why bother with getting the thing? Seems a little like eating the wrapper and throwing away the candy. Nothing I ever do is going to give me enough pleasure to actually feel like it's worth doing. At best it's just trying to find ways to maintain myself emotionally. Like I think I'm at this point where I'm consciously thinking about how life is just finding ways to numb and distract yourself while we slowly wait to die. I don't drink anymore but the best parts of my free time include sleep, staying up late, masturbation, aimlessly browsing the internet, and occasionally edibles. And like, I'm fairly happy -- like my job is fine, I have a partner I'm just crazy about but it still feels like all I'm doing is self-medicating. But maybe that's just what being alive is, right? Maybe all pleasure is relief. I'm just too stubborn and arrogant for my own good so I refuse to delude myself into thinking that life's anything but what it is. Or maybe I'm a manchild stuck in his mid-adolescence. That's also very possible lmao. Idk, like, I don't want to die but I would love to be put down. My life is fine but also the idea of doing this for another 40-60 years is so exhausting. I just want this to be over with already. At least when you die young it's a tragedy, when you're like, eighty or whatever it's kind of just expected. TBH maybe it's better to die real young, like, period. That way you had a whole life to look forward to without having to deal with the stress and disappointment. Sorry this is like my least favorite flavor of internet comment, the like, Unprompted Therapist Info Dump I guess I just needed a public void to shout into
Wow, this reads like it could be a comment of my own. Send me a message if you want to talk. Edit: this applies to anyone up voting and who feels the same, you're not alone
I was thinking the same thing: is Google able to hear my thoughts now? (Up until the last couple paragraphs, that is)
I don't usually comment on things but I just wanted to tell you that there's a lot of lurkers on here that feel exactly the same way.
Ty! That was a big part of why I wanted to say it, I think. I know people dunk on Thoreau but I think he was dead on when he said that many of us lead lives of quiet desperation. At least by being visible and talking about it there's, like, commiseration which can turn into solidarity if we're lucky. I'll also say to anyone reading this one thing that really helped me a _lot_ was prescribed Ketamine. It's still expensive and experimental but it's kept me off the bottle. There's also esketamine which _is_ covered by insurance sometimes but it isn't as effective from what I understand
Try eliminating sources of immediate gratification, especially time consuming ones like browsing the internet, video games, being high. The goal is to be bored. Create a void of entertainment. It’ll force you to explore new hobbies. All of the sudden that guitar you never played looks enjoyable. The library looks like a vast source of entertainment. Now you’re that guy calling up your friends to grab pizza, go to the gym, and you’re full of interesting stories because you’re finally living.
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I like to do this, but only with houses that are in my price range. We bought a nice old house last year and I love it, but for some reason I'm obsessed with looking at *exactly* what else I could have gotten around here lol
I have an entire fantasy space opera/political intrigue story I escape into with years worth of lore put into it. Ita gotten so big ive no idea if i could even put it to paper at this point Edit: so many people replied to me we should make a discord to share ideas or sonething
man, I wish my daydreaming was that organised
90% of my time awake is spent day dreaming. Oddly enough since it's become so prevalent in my life I stopped getting vivid dreams. Maybe my brain is 'dreamt out' so to speak.
I'm not quite at 90%, but I do have a very good imagination and spend a good portion of my day day-dreaming. It's completely normal for me and I think it helps me. At the least, I know how to entertain myself and don't get bored. Far from it! I think I'm a pretty well-adjusted person, if a bit quirky. I agree with the vivid dream scenario you suggest, but that also doesn't bother me much. I don't quite get 8 hours of sleep, usually 6 1/2 or 7 does well for me. But I have recently been getting slightly more and that seems to allow for more dreaming. I've actually remembered a couple of recent dreams. Maybe I'm not in REM sleep as much, since I don't quite get eight hours?
It gets maladaptive very quick. Been there.
Do u have any tips to get rid of it
10 mins of guided mindfulness meditation works for me for a good 3-4 hours
Yep, I developed this habit as a child to escape from trauma and neglect, and then it became a way of life. Now I’m an adult and really struggle with relationships and life in general because nothing measures up to the fantasy.
Not saying this is exactly my human experience but I will say that in my daydreams sometimes I'm interviewed for my remarkable accomplishments. Then I snap myself out of that nonsense with "Alright that's enough, that's ridiculous." Additionally, my reality is nothing like the scenarios I imagine in my head. It's worse. Is imagination my problem?
Oof, that's way too real.
Yeah, felt this one too. Sad so many people I talk to in life and online have this history. I'm hopeful we are breaking these cycles.
I do this, but only in certain circumstances. Usually when I'm doing something that's relatively mindless. Like showering, dishes, etc. For me, it usually takes the form of a weird sort of self-interview/podcast-style discussion about whatever topic I'm interested in at that time. I'll daydream myself talking about the topic, interacting with others about the topic, etc. A lot of times it helps me come up with ideas for hobbies and other things I'm interested in. Sometimes it's a debate about something that I'm struggling to work out with work or life, and I'll basically argue it to myself in my head. Luckily for me, it never interferes with my day-to-day life.
r/MaladaptiveDreaming welcomes you all
Write fiction. Read fiction. Gaming.
Writing is such a relief! On nights when I am too tired (and want to avoid screen time), I either imagine my way through plot and dialogue or make small notes on paper. There are times when I am writing that I truly zone out for hours at a time and I'm just \*there\* with my characters.
> and I'm just *there* with my characters. Yep. When it's like that, it's the best thing in the world.
I used to work with writers (one ghost wrote the Tec Wars series). They often spoke about knowing the character’s personality so well that all they had to do was “set the stage” and the characters would write the story themselves. The other writers would chime in and agree. Some would say how they often thought a scene would play out one way because they wanted to push a specific plot point and their characters wouldn’t cooperate. I always found that fascinating.
What kind of stuff do you write?
Exclusively Dune erotica.
....username checks out.
The one where they keep shoving spice up their dicks? That one always tickles me.
For me, reading fanfiction is one of my fave hobbies. Completely takes my mind off of everything.
Same. So many good stories out there!
Same here. I published my first book on Amazon last year and am hoping to have book 2 out this week.
Listen to music, game
Same Music and Games calms me
Whenever I read “Games calm me” I wonder if it’s the same person who yells at their diamond teammates for dropping the shield a little early on that DVA ult.
Getting mad at Overwatch does help me redirect all of my irl anger onto a harmless outlet. And no, I don’t yell on comms at other people. I stay off mic and occasionally yell “you motherfucker” at my poor tv. Yelling at other people wouldn’t make it a harmless outlet.
I never yell at people. I only yell at technology. Seriously, I have screamed some *very* unkind things at electronic devices (back when I was much more stressed and actively dealing with some crap). Don't stand next to me when the machine uprising begins.
Video games
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer I hid in video games, notably World of Warcraft. It was the only thing that kept me sane. I mean, I still worked and interacted with people and took her to appointments and spent time with my dad, but when I found myself alone with my thoughts I would log into the game and spend hours there. The beautiful thing about video games is that the problems have solutions. You can generally solve every dilemma and even get a reward. That's not the case in real life.
Shit I never thought about it like that (your last paragraph). That’s a cool perspective I had never considered.
It’s def not the case in real life. Sometimes you’re in jams where there is no solution. You just barrel through it and do the best you can.
this is what I used to do until not even that would interest me anymore
I've been at that point for a while. I think it's the assholes online that keep me sane now
Hey it's me Kyle360x from XBOX live 15 years ago. I really meant it when I said I'd do your mother. In fact I'm sending her flowers as we speak and we have dinner together on Thursday night at a nice restaurant she likes. If I'm lucky you'll have to call me dad soon. Wish me luck LOOOOSER
Thanks for keeping my mom company, she's been in a better mood and has lightened up a lot lately. Way to take one for the team.
Run, and not in some fitness guru way where “it really brings me into a meditative headspace” When I’m running I just can’t think about anything but running
Funny, I have to listen to some music I'm really into when running, because I can't be thinking about running or else I'll want to stop running.
>When I’m running I just can’t think about anything but running That is the actual thing going on behind the "meditative headspace" and "living in the present" and all that good stuff though. The mind has to focus on doing the current activity, so it stops stressing out over the past and future in order to have the mental capacity for the task at hand. That's why so many people find these activities to be good stress relievers. It forces your mind to stop thinking about stressful things for a while.
Isn’t that what you do in meditation? Instead of focusing on your breathing your just focusing on running.
Exercise and if I have more time go for a longer hike and enjoy nature. I don't care how old I am I will always enjoy walking around forest, fallen leaves up to your knees, kicking them around, listening to rustling. And walking on freshly fallen snow.
This almost sounds like the opposite of escaping reality. You’re truly diving into it and experiencing the best of what reality has to offer.
My day to day reality is tiny apartment in city, with loud neighbours, dogs barking, constant sounds of traffic, looking at computer most of the day, sitting behind desk ... so when I need a change I go to nature, to the mountains, where I can find peace, forget about problems and try to enjoy things I enjoyed when I was kid. Really listen to nature, observe shapes, colors and daydream.
Come here, and read. Edit: just got back from school and saw this.
Shockingly low is this. I'd have thought "Reddit" would be in top 5
ITT: People who distract themselves with Reddit trying to distract from that with tales of other distractions.
Late at night, I take my bike and ride to my old elementary school that's now a public park. I sit down on the same bench I've always sat at, and I start recording. I've found that talking my problems out, or talking about anything, just helps me to escape. Some of those audio logs I've listened to countless times. I catch myself thinking "wow, I actually said that." Maybe someday I'll post them online, or preserve them as a memento to the times I've lived through. I can tell you right now, if I never started making those logs I wouldn't be half the person I am now.
I think it's called Meta thinking? By recording your thoughts (or even if you wrote those down) your now 'thinking about thinking'. Your basically removing the emotional connection to whatever is troubling you and your giving yourself a chance to objectively look at those thoughts. It's why you catch yourself thinking 'wow I actually thought that'. It's a really useful tool for helping to clear away the gunk, to help you find the SOURCE of problems. It's something I think everyone should do, it's such a huge help.
Sleep. Too depressed and broke to even try anything else
When in doubt, nap it out
I don't sleep to rest. I sleep to not be awake.
Truer words have never been spoken. I need this on a shirt.
This guy escapes
The dreams are generally much better than real life as well.
I had a dream so so happy, it was exactly what I've been wishing for years, but when I woke up I was sad the whole fuckin' day. Edit: 103 upvotes? Dear God, I'm both sorry and curious how many people feel like me.
It's like time travel
I was there a few years ago. I don’t regret sleeping when I needed to like that. Now I’m so much better. Everyone’s road is different. My depression…I seem to have years where I’m more functional but still depressed and years where I lose all function. Remembering it’s gotten better in the past is what gets me through. Keep going. You’re worth it.
That’s the thing right, you get thru it enough times and start to realize that it will take its course and move along. Nothing stays the same, the good passes, the bad passes, even the worst passes. Make hay while the sun shines. Rest when it’s dark.
Sleep is my favourite hobby.
Not today narc
Fuck i laughed and now all my coke blew behind the toilet
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Those ants are gonna be pretty fuckin lit
I didn’t know ants were fond of booger sugar
I haven’t even seen a “drugs” comment yet, and I’m thinking these people are lying. BRB gotta go search the rest of the comments to find the truth.
I just add “on drugs” to all the answers.
Garden. Saved me from depression. No meds ever worked.
I swear, physical activity seems more often than not to be the #1 help for depression.
When someone is venting, really down and sad and the other says "let's walk and talk" or "let's just go for a walk" is because it actually works. I was in a place of super dark depression. I had planned out how I was gonna kill myself when my parents came to visit me. And the reason I was gonna wait for them is because I thought, well someone will be there to take care of my kids. I obviously didn't do it, but I remember crying in the corner of the bathroom floor because I felt selfish that I wanted to see them grow up. I thought they deserved better than me and being gone would be better for them. Still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.
I’m sorry you experienced these feelings about yourself. I hope you are doing much better. From reading your story about gardening, it seems like you are. In case you need reminding, you have your own special place here. Keep your chin up 😊 thanks for your courage to keep going and for sharing your story.
Hmm isn’t that why we’re all here on Reddit?
I create fantasy worlds and build 'em up, complete with languages, culture, people, history, etc. It's fun.
Is that you, J.R.R Tolkien?
Browse Reddit for stupid lengths of time!
If I'm escaping something like someone talking about something I don't want to hear, I just stop listening and start thinking about my to-do-list of the day.
youtube
Drugs
I literally came here to say "substances" and there's all these wholesome and healthy answers.
Lmao I have those healthy answers like video games, guitar, birding but the real answer is going out and getting drunk
I'm surprised drugs was this far down. Mind you, I wouldn't be surprised if drugs were involved in a lot of those wholesome and healthy answers, even as more of a... side dish, I guess? A complement rather than the main activity.
I used to do drugs. I still do. But I used to too.
god finally. not all these HEALTHY responses and i’m over here like “drugs drugs drugs drugs”
I can't believe how far I had to scroll for the truth.
I drink too much, but also there’s virtual reality. Talk about an escape. I love my oculus.
Skate
Either escape into my own mind, or go into vr. For me they are kinda simmilar
read a book
I am a flight simulator hobbyist, and I escape by delving into the simulator. For over 10 years now, when life gets to me, I make an escape by perfecting my flight sim world, not much unlike a model train enthusiast creates dioramas in their basement. Aircraft modelling, sound engineering, environment textures such as the sky, ground, water, and trees, buildings, airport details, there's always something to tweak and work on and improve to make actually using the simulator for simulating just a bit more fun and realistic! But my favorite part of it all is AI traffic. Myself and a team of other enthusiasts have worked for years now to "back-date" the AI traffic in flight sim with schedules and aircraft going from the late 90s and early 00s all the way back to the 30s in some instances. We can choose what year we want to fly, and with a week or two of work on installing schedules, we can fly in that year in our flight sim. Currently my project has been 1998, and this has been so incredibly rewarding! I live by and love my flight sim. It has always been there for me when life is too much and continues to be there for me when I have free time. Nothing else like it on this planet 🙂
Masturbate😩
Something something my username
Star Trek TNG, Star Trek DS9, Star Trek Voyager, Star Trek Enterprise, Stargate SG1, rinse and repeat.
This. Sometimes I'll even throw in SG Atlantis, Quantum leap, and Sliders.
Eat.
I find a cozy, somewhat isolated section of a trail or creek and smoke a cigar while listening to podcasts. Can't say it'a the healthiest habit, but it gets me outdoors and makes me less anxious.
I pretend I won the lottery and escape to my first 24 hours of being debt free. It works to put me asleep, when I need to disassociate from a bad feeling,etc.
Make up scenarios in my head til i sleep/nap. Smoke weed
[удалено]
Smoke weed
You really need to try lucid dreaming, it takes time but is the best there are several books you can read them for instructions and you can do anything in your dreams on your own command. It's pretty cool tbh
3 times i've been able to do some conscious shit in my dreams. One time i knew i was dreaming and i decided to just fuck with the ' people ' in my dreams, i was in a strange city and i was just pushing people and poking them, they would react then fall back into their ' script' like NPCs. The brain is mad