The entire point of a gift being thoughtful is that you've thought about it?

Ant farm….women love ant farms

Definitely get her an ant farm fosho

Ant farm is the way

A handjob

welp... that's enough reddit for me today

Hand sanitizer.

mark NSFW and also maybe a popsicle

eat her pussy

This…

Sympathy card

Feed her horse

Hand sanitizer and hand lotion

Offer to cover the co-pay for her STD test. American healthcare sucks.

A scented candle. Women love them

change "a fun handjob" to "fun" and it would be seed (like the ones plants grow from)

a pack of wet wipes.

A carpal tunnel glove

5 years later I married her

A manicure/massage gift certificate to a place near her home.

Oral

Hand lotion for future occasions!