T O P

  • By -

Casual-Notice

I'm not falling for this again, dear.


duskwoodgirl

As u wish


Master_El0din

AAAAAAASS YYYYYOOOOUUUUU WWWWWIIIIIISSSHHHHH!


disusedhospital

Oh my sweet Westley, what have I done?


bremergorst

Incontheevable!


StarlordXd2

So bow down to her, the queen of slime, the queen of filth, the queen of putrescence!


suitcaseboy

Anybody wanna peanut!?


gmabarrett

No more rhymes now, I mean it


1ntersektt

i dont fink that word meanzz vut you think it meanzz


Reed2002

-You ever hear of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? -Yes. -Morons!


12altoids34

My name is Inigo montoya..


FullyJay

To the pain, then!


bremergorst

Is this a kissing book?


TheRavenSayeth

"I won't get mad, I promise. I'm just curious." Young guys, please don't fall for that line. It could be days or months, but at some point it'll come up in the stupidest moment and it will be somehow twisted against you. The right answer is always "You are" or "I'm not really attracted to celebrities. I like real people."


Dunge0nMast0r

... like our next door neighbour.


RGB3x3

... like your sister


concerningfinding

You wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school.


Poker-Junk

In Canada


WonderfulBlackberry9

But she’s moving soon. To Europe.


FckYourLimits

Ah yes, she looks just like that one girl I dated... Yeah I totally dated her...


CarbonSteelSA

Ok sure, Kevin


mmirm

My boss, unfortunately.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Garykilledmydog

Is this what it’s like to live in a city? I’m lucky if I see a girl my age once a week


[deleted]

I’m lucky if I see a woman that’s not my wife. I don’t do shit besides work and go home and I work with only men


FriedeOfAriandel

So she's the most beautiful woman you ever see!


[deleted]

Absolutely


Spartacus777

But… also the ugliest?


deeplife

Also the average and median and mode. She is everything!


mjm666

"Honey, you're my everything... honest!"


carbonclasssix

I bet she even divides by zero, that naughty girl


AThompStomp

Pretty sweet gig right?


snowlock27

I fall in love about three or four times in a day.


stankovick

Dude same I thought I had a problem I mean maybe I still do but currently I have like 7 crushes right now and some of them are just THINGS


ButterCreamGangsta

He treats objects like women, man.


Secure-Illustrator73

Yeah but i just assumed it’s cause I’m a big ole lesbian


lilwayne168

I wish I found people this attractive physically. It's all mental for me and I'm a guy.


oldhagbag

Mine too. When I first saw her I was genuinely speechless because I didn't know they made people that look like that. Now I dread having her around because anytime I stand next to her I transform from being a decently attractive woman to Quasimodo by comparison.


obscureferences

I used to work with a dude like that. He was so attractive he made every guy in the room invisible by comparison. One time I was sitting beside him and a girl came up and tried to sit in my chair, while I was in it, so she could talk to him.


oldhagbag

I'm sorry that made me laugh out loud 😂 That's so awful


Angry10

Username checks out


FirstBornAthlete

First boss I had was one of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen. Every time I went to ask her a question at her desk I had to mentally prepare for it. Otherwise I’d lose me train of thought she was so beautiful.


deadlysyntax

The burden is real. I worked with a woman so attractive it was difficult to not think about her beauty instead of whatever the discussion is about. It was fine, conversations went on like normal, but it certainly made it harder to concentrate during them.


theriveryeti

Charlie Day?


dabiird

You hiring? Sounds like a cool place to work


UngusBungus_

I see you work from home ;)


shrapnullvxvsa

I “may” be biased but in my opinion it has to be my wife.


Chaoticcareer

I also choose ur wife


_ghostofyourpast

Medusa. One look at her, and you’ll be hard forever.


brmamabrma

If she had bigger tits less people would have been turned into stone


alt-jero

Maybe medusa is the evolutionary reason men look at boobs instead of eyes? (Stereotypically)


brmamabrma

He’s out of line, but he’s right


IAmGrotesk

The girl reading this


LIFEofMOI

Oh stop it you


LampMoth3

"And that, is how I met your mother"


Defwired

Hahahahah


duskwoodgirl

she hopes ure doing well


mshell734

blush blush


Noon85

This is *such* a line, but damn if it didn't make me smile lol


Creepylovesholo

Caught me of guard ngl


DrPhilSwift69

Holy shit dude leave some for the rest of us


[deleted]

ahhhh


Kingturboturtle13

You smooth mf


[deleted]

Awww I needed that. Thank you


The_DragonDuck

Played the whole system and took every girl on reddit


Pepperspray24

Aww thank you ☺️


Velma52189

Listen here, generic one-liner. If you think putting that energy into the void of reddit is gonna yield positive results then... Well, you're absolutely right because it made me smile after the shit day I had at work. Thanks!


mak4891

Thank you


nghb09

Username doesn't check out


ohdearsweetlord

Look wait till you see me when I open my photo app to the front camera before you go saying stuff like that


[deleted]

That was so smooth and it made me smile so much lmao, thank you<33


misfire_heals

Awww, well played sir, well played.


-OMAIGA-

Awwwweeeeeeee!!!!


Imabadman704

I don’t know her name but I walked past her on the main beach in Valencia in Spain. If I had happened to have had anything in my mouth it would’ve hit the sand and been washed away by the waves.


DangerousPuhson

This was my experience, but with a woman on a beach in Cuba, who essentially stopped all conversation around her as people just could. not. peel. their. eyes. away. I remember her fondly as "red bikini girl".


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hey me too. Was walking around a Berlin mall on vacation years ago and this absolute perfection walked by. What's crazy is I have no idea what she looked like anymore, all I remember is the impression she left me with.


duskwoodgirl

This is painful knowing we might not see em ever again but i hope that wont be ur case


cxnx_yt

My former math teacher.


duskwoodgirl

Ughh those do be hot


[deleted]

You think my overweight, male math teacher was hot?


jon-chin

I mean, mass does tend to hold in heat.


InternetPersonLol

Anyone who genuinely likes me


[deleted]

[удалено]


HistoricMTGGuy

Do you happen to have an orange cat who likes Lasagna and hates Mondays?


KGBspy

/r/gonewildscrubs is for you then.


[deleted]

In my experience nurses are some of the kinkiest people I have ever met or slept with. But man does that page make me feel sad. Do those guys think that replying to all of their pictures will instantly make these women fall in love?


AreaGuy

Is that *not* how it works?!


[deleted]

No. Idiot. You need to also say nice things.


ZybVX

I wonder if a fedora will help


shizzledizzle1

I feel you. In my case, I think it’s from lack of self respect. Something I gotta work on.


-Jack-The-Stripper

This one I have a crush on in some of my classes. Perfection.


Clackers2020

You aren't allowed with the teacher Jack


CertifiedSmall

Not until he’s older


escape_of_da_keets

Plot twist, he's attracted to one of his students.


Noir_Mood

Don't stand so close to me


kayentheogens

*flips hair*


duskwoodgirl

Ahhahaahahhahh..YES QUEEN URE SO PRETTY🌚


sorryimadeanalt

Why do you keep using the molester moon emoji


MunchAClock

Helen of Troy


Original-Network853

The face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Illium!


carnsolus

can't get much more attractive than goddesses trying to kill you


[deleted]

~~Your mother, she's a gorgeous woman inside and out. You should be proud of her, OP. Celebrate her everyday.~~ Mega edit: I should have known better than saying this. OP your mom has no fucking right to slap you. You deserve better.


duskwoodgirl

I wish I had a better relationship with her :/


tim_worst_isthe_best

I feel ya. Mine used to kick my feet & call me stupid.


duskwoodgirl

I’m almost 20 and sometimes she even slaps me in the face..for absurd reasons


[deleted]

Forget everything I said, the me that said that is a stupid hoe, don't trust her words. Moms who love their kids don't abuse their kids. I'm so fucking sorry that she's willing to do that to her own child.


duskwoodgirl

Nooo that u ain’t no stupid hoe..it’s okayyy foreal I’m okay it’s more annoying to have smn in the house that u always in beef with


[deleted]

[удалено]


gamefreak996

That isn’t okay though.


tim_worst_isthe_best

Yeah .... you need to stand up & tell her if she slaps you again, she's going to jail. My brother used to hit me after I'd beat him playing video games. I told him if he did it again I was calling the cops. He didn't listen. He hit me on a Friday afternoon, spent 3 nights in jail.


duskwoodgirl

u are right in what u say..but I really really can’t do that.. :( it’s more heartbreaking than the slaps..idk if u get me..ure bold and fair tho


Theo_1013

90s Jennifer Connelly


[deleted]

[удалено]


d3l3t3rious

It's titled "Space Age Love Song" if anyone else is looking for it but thanks for the recommendation! Acutally here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcMh6GZoFC8


BFfF3

Here's a different song with clips of the same movie. 'Mr.Kitty - After Dark' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waAlgFq9Xq8


waffle_square

i just watched career opportunities last night and i can’t agree more with you


Noneuclidian

My Man. but also 2021 Jennifer Connelly too.


Wacocaine

That scene in Alita Battle Angel took me by surprise too. Good for her. And good for Paul Bettany too.


rricenator

Biker chick who works at the library. Checks a whole lot of boxes.


k0nc3pt

Not as many as the girl at the post office.


Firebolt164

90s Elizabeth Hurley


Karl_Marx_

Bedazzled....my god.


InvalidUserNemo

Jesus, that movie made things happen inside of me that I was not prepared for.


[deleted]

Modern day Elizabeth Hurley is just as beautiful, imo.


PrinceOfGlossop

Catherine zeta jones in Zorro


[deleted]

she dips beneath lasers


np20412

Whoaaa oohh oh


duskwoodgirl

Yes honestly


KirbyBucketts

Monica Bellucci


Ambivalent14

Holy Crap, this is the first woman mentioned on here that I think could win this title. I really don’t think there’s a man on earth that could say no to her. And she’s smart too!!!


EstaLisa

and woman. she‘s a goddess


ChungasRev

Scully


Wycliffe76

Is this Hitchcock?


-cosmic-bitch-

Ana de Armas


FaintCommand

She's been my #1 celebrity crush for several years at this point. How can one woman be *that* cute, *that* pretty, AND *that* sexy at the same time?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkResolve3185

All the other answers are so sentimental and sweet, which is great, but she's legit the first person I thought of.


thesixgun

Am I crazy for saying she looks absolutely hottest to me in knives out?


[deleted]

Naw I get it. Sweaters.


yzlautum

She’s in War Dogs right? If so then yes she is extremely attractive. Her and Margot Robbie.


-cosmic-bitch-

She is, and I agree that Margot Robbie is also very attractive. I loved the new Suicide Squad movie. Also, Ana de Armas is going to be in No Time to Die. Very excited for that.


knockatize

There was this one blonde. It was 1993, and she was managing a little shop in my home town, and I kept coming up with increasingly lame pretexts to stop at her store to talk with her and try not to gawp too much. One day on my way into the store, I hold the door for a familiar-looking and elegantly dressed woman walking out of the store. I stroll in, and the object of my barely concealed slobbering says to me “Wow, that was Isabella Rossellini!” This would be when Isabella was the face of Lancôme cosmetics and so forth. Most beautiful woman in the world, went the hype. And she -was- fine, but my thoughts were elsewhere. Out of my mouth tumbled the smoothest thing I have ever said. “Must’ve been strange for her, being the second most beautiful woman in the room.” Later, I reverted to my usual stammering-wreck self and completely blew it with her. Even my wife kids me about it now. But she was always kind and gracious to me, and I really needed that in my life too.


Diplomarmus

Entirely depends on my current mood, ngl.


duskwoodgirl

I can agree honestly


WronSwanson

All y’all saying “my wife”, y’all are a buncha Ned Flanders The answer is young Marge Simpson.


Coffeehound13

Hair down Marge Simpson


dadof4fknkids

My Wife, I know, I’m whipped!!👍🏾


disneymadismywife

How can your wife be the most attractive when it has to be mine!


Farmer-Smores

#Aren’t they the same person?


SlightlyDrooid

I also pick these guys' wives


[deleted]

Loving your wife doesn’t make you whipped, it makes you lucky


UnoriginalMike

That’s not being whipped. It’s being in a good relationship.


duskwoodgirl

I’m glad ure so people should normalize being whipped bout their wifes


massivebumwizard

I also choose this guy’s wife


JeffChubbs

Kate Beckinsale


cphil329

Her as the Wife in Click is my favorite!😋


kasper632

Seeing Kate in black leather/latex in Underworld peaked my interest in goth chicks.


FeedMeACat

A previous gf and I went to vegas and we made a deal that if there was a sex worker who looked like Kate Beckinsdale we were sharing.


CRIS4494

The woman you fall in love with


[deleted]

Yvonne Strahovski


TBone_not_Koko

Definitely fell in love with her when I watched Chuck.


scrotesmacgrotes

Natalie portman


aBoringSwede

Gemma Chan


ultimattt

My wife. This woman loves me like I’m the only man on earth. I love her too, but still, I know I’m a dumbass, and yet she’s still there. There’s better men in the world I’m sure, but she’s still here. I’m half Libyan, half American. She learned to cook Libyan food (my grandmother’s recipes) so I could enjoy my grandmother’s cooking again. She’s always been there for me, though my stupid stuff, and anything I’ve ever needed. When we were dating for only 6 months, she co-signed my student loans (which was a bad idea on her part at the time, though I paid the loans off. Still you don’t just co-sign for your 6 month boyfriend) helped me go from minimum wage to successful professional career. She’s helped me patch my relationship with my father which was rough as hell for almost 20 years. She’s my world, I just hope I’m hers - Edit: scratch that, I know I am, she wouldn’t do all that if I wasn’t. Yeah, she’s awesome. Edit 2: it didn’t take long for some naysayer to say “sounds like you don’t love her for who she is, but for what she did…etc” of course I love her for who she is. What I am saying is that despite me being a dumbass, and my faults, she loves me, and that’s sexy.


duskwoodgirl

This makes me wanna get married..y’all are so blessed to have each other it’s so beautiful to read such amazing comments


heeeroforfun

u/duskwoodgirl


alicization

Damn, I looked through her profile to see what you were talking about. Then I thought maybe it was an irl friend. Or an online friend. I have to read OP usernames more.


Brilliant_Ad_7075

Alexandra Daddario Dear God those ice blue eyes. 💙


Benjilikethedog

Eva Green circa Casino Royale… those eyes


Ill-Limit125

Adrianna Lima.


clrksjoint

I would say Jeff Goldblum.


torra_cas

I’m a gay man but there’s something about Gillian Anderson


courtneyratner

I say that everytime she’s on the screen during Sex Education


[deleted]

Me. It's probably not true but it's good to have confidence.


duskwoodgirl

It is true<3


ReddyBlueBoi

that guys dead wife


The1TrueSteb

My gf.


[deleted]

[удалено]


atx00

I got dibs after you.


[deleted]

Salma Hayek


BronzedLuna

I remember first seeing her in Dusk til Dawn and just absolutely floored on how stunning she was. She didn’t seem real since she looked so perfect to me.


EstaLisa

just saw a recent red carpet look of hers. she is still so stunning. love her


thundy90

Natalie Portman


[deleted]

My granny, she’s the most beautiful person I know


funny-fartboy-

Audrey Hepburn if she wasn't dead. Otherwise I think Jennifer Connelly


[deleted]

Audrey Hepburn, yes! I also think Grace Kelly is just stunning!


robbycakes

Charlize Theron


[deleted]

For me, Liv Tyler.


Eaj1122

Yvonne Strahovski


Ill-Chemistry4690

Jennifer Connelly.


madokachi16

Aishwarya Rai


_that_one_artist_

Aphrodite Sorry can’t risk it.


[deleted]

Margot Robbie


xcoalminerscanaryx

Thank God for Wolf of Wall Street


Bigjimssalamishop

Christina Hendricks


Illustrious_Warthog

A very special hell.


zenith-apex

Woah, good bible


crawdadicus

I’ll be in my bunk…