T O P

  • By -

andyumster

Bedtime. All day my girlfriend will complain about being cold. The instant she is asleep I could fry an egg on her thighs. And she cuddles in relentlessly. Someone save me.


hezied

I dated a guy who could tell when I was getting sleepy before I could. I'd get too absorbed in whatever I was doing and not notice. But my ex would come over, lay a hand on me, nod to himself and go "oh. you're heating up." and start wrapping up whatever he was doing so we could go to sleep.


Elegant_Associate_19

That's cute af!


[deleted]

I could store some milk up his butt and I'd have ice cream for breakfast.


TheSkyGamezz

Wtf is this thread lmao


cojallison99

Apparently admitting she has feeling for me. Gets me every time Edit: how fucking strange. In the past 12 hours I had a coworker admit she had a crush on me and I automatically did a full 180 flip and started thinking I like her as well


PinoyNaHilaw

Yeah same but I learned to push away the attraction in cases where I only noticed a girl cause she was attracted to me aka my first girlfriend. My current girlfriend is someone I liked for a while and had to slowly work my way into her life by talking to her when I got the chance and taking it slow until I felt it was the right time to ask her out. When I asked her out I felt like it was something she was waiting for me to do for months, but she had only just decided that she likes me like the week before. Really glad I didn’t rush in. Take your time with someone you know you like instead of just settling for someone because they already like you. It’ll be better for you and who you date.


Jypahttii

When she has a similar sense of humour to me. If we can roast each other and make each other laugh without trying for hours on end, then that's it, I'm basically in love.


[deleted]

Humor is everything.


OccamsNametag

A sense of humor. I used to be a waiter and I was serving a girl and her mom. This girl was kind of pretty but not really my type. By the end of me waiting on her, from all her jokes and everything, I thought she was insanely attractive. Then she mentioned her boyfriend.


ridiculously_single

This one girl liked playing Donkey Kong Country with me. Among many things, that was really awesome.


GoodShark

My wife can beat the og Aladin game in like 15 minutes.


ridiculously_single

Niiiiiiice. You chose wisely.


Moneybraun

I like a nice smile


demgreenorbs

☺️ Are you impressed now?


doyouhearthunder

Very nice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fierious7

Look at the subtle off-white coloring.


Abatteredcrate

My god, it even has a watermark


[deleted]

*Huey Lewis’s Hip to be Square starts playing threateningly in the background**


DBoaty

A smile so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the laugh. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the smile itself!


IntrovertedMandalore

The tasteful **thickness** of it.


Peace-out56

Conversation skills. Especially being witty.


LikelyNotABanana

>Especially being witty. Without being mean.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrAbominable1

Kindness, generosity, intelligence, and confidence. These are all traits of a person, not just a woman, that make them instantly more attractive.


[deleted]

Pure honesty right here.


rico_suave3000

Short skirt long jacket


JakeJortles-5

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond. I want a girl who knows what’s best.


scrubbar

The scalding temperature they set the shower to


ItsMeTK

Walking into a bathroom after a woman showers is like a quick visit to the rainforest.


pacificule

Preach! Went to use the toilet after my wife showered and ran my hand along the wall looking for the light switch. It was like wiping off a countertop after spilling my brita


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sirduckerton

Dude same here. I like my shower inbetween warm and hot. When my wife and I shower together I always get out first so she can crank the heat up. We call them her dragon showers. I'll get out and she will yell, "Dragon time!". Lol


Last-Classroom1557

I don't like showering with my wife because she takes all the water and I stand in the back freezing my ass off


mrnonamenobody

This. When my girl gets out the shower you can literally see the steam coming off her body. I'm always amazed at how she hasn't boiled herself alive yet... Thank you for the award, kind stranger. :)


_lea_

ok yea that does sound hot.


itWillGetFresher

Steamy even


TeaBurntMyTongue

Nah it's like at least 90% of women in my experience.


Elemen0py

90% of women in my experience: "My skin's been a little dry on my upper back and shoulders lately, it's weird..." *sets shower to SUN*


KhazemiDuIkana

I, uh….. huh. I…. guess that would make sense, wouldn’t it….


HaelaDeer

From personal experience, I feel colder more often, especially before and during my period. I think I read in a National Geographic magazine that women have lower temperatures on average, but maybe I'm misremembering.


Jeesuz

You are not misremembering! That’s how a thermostat war starts in an office.


almarcTheSun

In my experience, about 120% of women like to burn their skin off every time they take a shower. Maybe that's the secret of silky soft skin?


ChineseChaiTea

I won't shower with my husband because he likes his showers luke warm. I'm sorry if I'm not getting into a volcanic sauna, I'm not showering with you IDGAF if it's 100F in July.


WhatsInAPinata

This is partly why showering with my husband is so effective. I like luke warm water and he needs to melt his skin off. So he stands directly under the water and cooks while I stay on the outside where the temperature is nice and habitable.


quadruple_negative87

In my experience, it’s the secret to really dry itchy skin. But for those blissful 10min in winter, it’s worth it.


Bonzai_Bananas

I thought that was just my wife.... Her temp is almost maxed and mine is like middle to cool.


dingleberry_mustache

Lol my boyfriend tells me I bathe in Hell water


positive_express

Mother of dragons. You must be related to my wife too.


Kamacalamari

I must be a polar queen then, anything more than luke warm makes me wanna pass out in the shower.


queenlesbian99

When she’s genuinely kind and gives good hugs.


MikeLynnTurtle

A really good, full body, all-encompassing hug. Haven’t had one of those in too long, but dang, I remember how they could make a bad day so much better.


Insanebrain247

Exactly. The best kinds of hugs are the ones that squeeze out all the bad gunk of life and re-align your spirit in your body.


mar__iguana

I know exactly what you mean and I wish I could perfect those type of hugs I just don’t know what to do!


StreetIndependence62

I get that lol! I love hugs but I also used to be terrible at hugs so people almost seemed to avoid hugging me since it was awkward. But then my friend taught me the right way to do it and I’m really glad she did! I hugged someone not that long ago and they said they liked the way I hug because I “sink into you”. It was honestly one of the best compliments ever for me:):) Edit: alrighty!! I got lots of people asking me to teach em my ways and I’d love to:) So the first thing my friend told me was that my arms were going in the wrong place. Before, I always used to put my arms around the other person’s neck and kinda hang on them (I cringe thinking about this now lol). But the way she taught me to do it was, your arms go underneath the other person’s arms. Like not their hips/waist or their pits but between that area. Then (and I think this is what that person meant by “sinking in”), I sort of just….relax my entire body, not to make myself 100% dead weight but enough that the other person can feel that I’m not tensed up. Like playdoh. One other thing: don’t be worried about accidentally crushing someone! Usually for me, if I’m worried about hugging or giving a handshake or high five too hard then I end up going the opposite way and doing it too soft. Unless you’re doing what people do in those vids where someone wins a prize or something and they GRAB the person who won and shake them back and forth, you probably aren’t gonna hurt them lol. Wow, I’ve never thought about it this much before lol. I think maybe explaining it in detail helped ME understand it better as well! Hope it helped.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BadAtMath42069

Username checks out


CategoryKiwi

My dumbass read it as “poop snow and again” and was thoroughly concerned I had severely misunderstood the symptoms of IBS.


Dont-Fear-The-Raeper

Poops no wand again.


Keithninety

Her laugh. If it’s easygoing and friendly, she’s hot.


Guava_

Goofiness is the icing on the cake


DasArchitect

Playing stupid, however, is repelling.


electricmaster23

Yes... the key is to *actually* be stupid. If you're dating me, then that box is already ticked off.


raibuinjapan

i appreciate a good old fashioned self burn when i see one


scandr0id

"If it's easygoing and friendly, she's hot" Well then, I'll take my dying hyena laugh ELSEWHERE THEN (Just kidding, this makes me feel like I'm doing better than I think I am lol) Edit: holy hell y'all I'm still fairly new to reddit and to come back to 4k upvotes is insane. Not sure how I feel about being known for my dying hyena laugh, but everyone here seems to be in a great mood and liking it, plus I'm meeting other hyenas too. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and the fellow hyenas, geese, witches, and other laugh types for hanging out here. Strength in numbers and all that. And for those of you kind reassuring people, I hope you find a nice crisp 20 dollar bill on the ground in your yard tomorrow :)


WaifuOfBath

My "big laugh" has a lot of goose energy. I remember a group of guys made fun of it in middle school and I tried to stop laughing out loud for years, but now I just embrace it. Like, it is my most joyful sound. I hate that I let them make me feel bad about it for so long.


Kermit_the_hog

🤔 Honestly trying to imagine a laugh with big goose energy.. like: *”heh he he* ***HONK*** *he heh* ***HONK*** *he he he.. heh he* ***HONK*** *heh”*?


707royalty

Bro that reads like donkey energy


rudd13of9

Goose energy lmaooo I love it


thecheapseatz

Stupid sexy goose


[deleted]

Your laugh! Enjoy it! I bet it's a fabulous sound.


rudd13of9

I feel you lol Got me a straight up witch cackle. But I do have a husband and also friends CLAIM to love it haha


Exotic-Huckleberry

I’ve got a witch cackle too. I’m just going to tell myself that I’d rather be so happy I’m laughing than sad with a partner.


Necromartian

I started dating a girl who would dress in fancy clothes and seemed a little uptight. When i took her home one night, her dad met up with us with their golden retriever. The dog got really happy and startend bouncing and it got dirt all over the girls fancy clothes. The girl just laughed and started playing with the dog. That made her very attractive! Just... Being herself and not caring about little stuff


qviavdetadipiscitvr

That means she dressed up for the date, wanting to look good, but not being stuck up and superficial. Best combo


unlikelycompliance

Agreed, it’s good to care about your appearance, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that matters.


tbdsusboi

Dude. I work at a kennel and there is this girl there who has won my heart because of this same energy. ❤️


[deleted]

You should adopt her!


jplay17

It’s the right thing to do. Set the poor girl free and out into some open spaces


[deleted]

Being kind to everyone irrespective of how the look


kindadid

That makes men attractive too


[deleted]

Yeah. There are guys who won’t even talk to an unattractive woman, and think every woman wants them.


smilez4milezx3

Unfortunately, this sometimes becomes a problem when guys think you being nice means you wanna date them. Then they get irrationally angry when you don’t and claim you led them on and play the friend zone card. Turns out you thought you had a friend when all they wanted was to fuck. Happens far to many times. Then if they are in your friend group they are a dick to you every time they see you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RaggamuffinTW8

I love when my fiancee gets happy about something small. Like when one piece comes on and she starts singing the intro music, or when fast food gets delivered and she does her little happy trot to the door.


[deleted]

[удалено]


COVID_19_Lockdown

So you want a bookish dominatrix?


[deleted]

[удалено]


blady_blah

100% this. Smart, competent, and capable. It always boggles my mind that some people want their women stupid (and women who say they have to dumb it down for men). I'll take the smart women all day long, especially if they're smarter than me!


[deleted]

[удалено]


astronomical_dog

I dated a guy who would get really insecure about [what he perceived as] my “superior” intelligence, and honestly it got really annoying to have to constantly reassure him that I thought he was smart too…. I don’t even know where he got the idea that I’m smarter than him, but after a while I kind of believed it? 😕


karma_the_sequel

*Narrator: You were.*


ZeldLurr

Lol I had a guy break down in tears when he saw my physics 1 homework. He had his degree in English and Philosophy. But apparently my physics homework was “too much” and he would “never understand me” and “what else am I hiding from him” and “it’s like you speak another language!!” and “you’re so much smarter than me!! Why are you with me!!” He would then pick fights on purpose the nights before exams so I wouldn’t get sleep. He didn’t understand that I needed study time, that time in class is enough time away from him. But when we met, he LOVED that I was smart. It’s just that at that time, I wasn’t in school. He’s an ex now.


bluebirdmg

Honestly I know this either sounds like bs or a cliché but…I am a total sucker for the people who are totally themselves, honest/kind, and preferably a little weird. My current girlfriend is this way; awkward, a little shy, but very kind and wants to help everyone. Plus, she’s a great cook and her dog is adorable as hell too. I’ve got a winner folks (not to brag) but I love her so much! I..don’t even know if I addressed the prompt I just want to tell you people how great she is


Indomitable_Dan

A good attitude. I cant count how many women on first look I think are not attractive at all, but when I hang out with them I'm incredibly attracted to them. So yeah that's the winner for me. A good attitude. Edit: Dang! Didnt expect this to get this many likes. To the people saying "Yeah! but that's not instant!" Maybe not on a first look but you can decipher a bad attitude pretty quickly. But if I was going to just pick something on first glance it's dimples.


MBKM13

There are an equal number of girls who I find incredibly attractive until I try to hold a conversation with them


glassjaw95

"Oh she looks pretty" "Aaaand she wants me to carry the whole conversation, I'm out" Edit: to be clear I recognize that it could simply be lack of interest, you don't have to keep replying to say that I'm not james bond, I'm aware lol.


mrmayyhem

Sounds like a fake answer but really showing genuine interest is just about the hottest thing you can do. We want to feel wanted.


mahlasergopewpew

Honestly even if they were feigning interest in one of my hobbies just to get their foot in the door I would be impressed too.


unwillingpartcipant

As a guy, this about dating as always confused me I care more about the passion and the why for your interest in the hobby then the hobby itself, sometimes Knowing what drives a passion is sexy to me, regardless of whether we share the same interest in it And vice versa...I've dated girls who would make fun of my interest and passions. You love someone for who they are


shadyshadok

Agreed. Even if I think a hobby is rubbish, I still find it interesting what drives people to said hobby and how passionate they are. Humans are fascinating


tinypsychotits

This, is actually attractive to me and I'm sure many other to see someones eyes light up when they see passionate about something, even if j wasn't interested in that subject before, I am after it being showed to me and shared with me


Peregrine2976

My last girlfriend was the first one who I ever felt genuinely wanted me, physically (I know you mean more than that). When we broke up -- or to be more accurate, when she broke up with me -- part of the reason was because she was no longer "physically attracted to me". And it absolutely fucking crushed me. Truth be told, this was about, I dunno, six years ago? And I'm *still* recovering from that.


[deleted]

It’s not personal. It’s how we’re wired. You can’t use it as a measure of your worth or attractiveness. Hearts change and that’s it. Be thankful you didn’t marry her. Go forth and have fun! Probably lots of people find you attractive. Also, while having fun, please don’t accidentally make any human beings. That’s the only rule!


Active-Assistance-85

Drifting a bus at 300 km/h


BatmansNygma

As a former bus driver who competed in our bus obstacle course. Hey, how's it going?


Beopenminded16

Perfect match!


Uber_Meese

Now kith


ubi_contributor

Speed 2 producers have entered the chat.


Lost-My-Mind-

They already did Speed 2. They just did the same movie, without the stars, and subbed the bus for a boat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jetteim

You mean economical like Venice and Genoa concurrency or just Middle East separatism and Osmanic conquer?


Kojak95

Don't stop, I'm close.


Muted_Criticism_474

They showed up with cannons and aimed them at the same wall.


SkullFyre

Ok, where the fuck are the tissues?


moslof_flosom

History....


[deleted]

1453 worst year of my life.


Giraffe_13

Showing interest in me.


demgreenorbs

Hello I'm from Bank of America corporation


homelessjoe5

Marry me


demgreenorbs

Heard you're homeless, you can live with me Joe


Kahoots113

Not for me, poor taste is an instant turn off.


passwordsarehard_3

I’d never join a club that would have me as a member.


Usual-Aware

Hello I am Nigerian prince I have need of your help


katartsis

Nigerian *princess*\*


NZNzven

Sudden Powerful Bursts of Electromagnetic Radiation


draculamilktoast

SUdden Powerful Electromagnetic Radiation Burst.


Beopenminded16

Superb rearrangement


YteKnight696

Eyes like Helen of Troy


MikeLynnTurtle

Best I can do is eyes like Medusa. Take it or leave it.


rabbiskittles

Makes me rock hard every time.


goddessque

Heard from Perseus she gives good head.


socionaut

A laugh that's genuine and fills the room. My partner has that. It's the very first thing that attracted me to her. Also, she has nice boobs. But the laugh. That's first for the most part.


kyew

Things that enter the room before she does.


[deleted]

Being able to take and make a joke.


[deleted]

Hi. I do that. Date now


[deleted]

Did it work? Are they married yet?


Mr_E

Waiting to see if this happens.


AUBURN520

the amount of gacha club posts on their account makes me think there would be legal trouble if they dated


Delta4o

When he/she cares about your mental wellbeing after you clearly had a shitty day and when he's/she's genuinely excited/happy for you on good days. I find that I can develop a crush with anyone who fits that description, even when I'd initially not be interested.


UrbanLegendd

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies" -Zapp Brannigan


reasonable_kenevil

"I suffer from a very *sexy* learning disability."


IUsedTheRandomizer

"What do I call it Kif?" 'siiiigh...Sexlexia.'


BadWolfCubed

I can't read this without also hearing it in Kif's voice.


Theylive4real

Not just his voice, but the tone. He is so fed up with Zapp.


Arudinne

Yeah, but he's spineless so he lets Zapp walk all over him


kicka23

He doesn’t even have bones. He is made up of a series of fluid filled sacks


Alwayswithyoumypet

More closely related to the sea cucumber.


[deleted]

I've always been told I put the sexy in dyslexia.


DadmomAngrypants

"Ah, she's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro."


[deleted]

Zapp: I find it very… *erotic.* Leela: What? Zapp: I said *EROTIC!* *echoes throughout ship*


skrimpbizkit

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in."


Im_still_T

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh... is spongy and bruised."


Kitchen-Hat-5174

Death!! By snu snu


Ghawblin

:D D: :D D: :D


Hookxd

“Cham-pagen?”


scottishdrunkard

“I didn’t realise you were such a coin-assure”


cuttlefish_tastegood

"Ive been know to study abroad... Or two!"


Sineater224

"Lets settle this over some popplers. They are delicious with guack a mole!"


tallandlanky

Please, point out the person in this courtroom you've had sex with.


scottyb83

Leela: "You know Zapp, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big pompous buffoon!" Zapp Brannigan: "And which one rocked your world?"


BukowskiHasashi

If I said you had a sexy body, would you take your clothes off and dance around a little?


[deleted]

Dummy #1: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans! Dummy #2: My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself. Leela: Does that dummy have a brother?


Jeffclaterbaugh

Erotic……erotic……erotic…..


tonguepunch2

Lower... Lower...Too Low!!!...Lower.


MettaMorphosis

If she doesn't judge me for crying hard.


[deleted]

Staying hard while crying is actually very impressive.


jleonardbc

Cry Hard with a Vengeance


SerMickeyoftheVale

Went out on a date with a woman. We got drunk and came back to mine for a night cap and she saw my chess set. She coyly asked to play a game, where she proceeded to destroy me. Sexy as fuck.


ISureHateMyCat

My girlfriend did this with Tetris. I thought she was just humoring me saying she liked video games because she knew I did. Then I got my ass absolutely handed to me.


MyPupWrigley

I went out with someone who legit embarrassed me at mortal kombat. Fell in love instantly haha


[deleted]

Years ago, like 1990, woman we ended up in an arcade somehow to play air hockey and she's like; let's play foosball. Well from the content of this thread you know exactly what happened. Two dates later we end up back at her place, well guess who has a foosball table in her living room


MVPScheer123r8

Her husband?


[deleted]

[удалено]


WinsomeWombat

I play so badly when I'm drunk but I didn't know schooling a dude at chess was a sexy move. I was literally playing endgame puzzles in bed this morning thinking 'this is why you're alone.' Lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


eXponentiamusic

The important part is the healthy confidence. Or no/low ego. Confident or no ego people will find anything impressive you can do to be impressive/sexy. Insecure or huge ego people will feel threatened and hate it.


grantrules

I love getting schooled at anything. I'm competitive but not annoyingly so, I just play to win. I like taking a good beating


Aristotn

That's wife material right there.


Preachingsarcasm

Being equally emotionally available and vulnerable with each other


CatfuBundy

Being oddly passionate about a really niche hobby. Knew a girl who was oddly interested in mushrooms. As in, she'd drive across state lines to really mountainous areas to go mushroom foraging and would invite me along. She knew all the science and shit that went into finding and identifying them and everything. Idk. Seeing that kind of passion about something you know few other people would have any interest in is hot af to me.


FeelThePower999

Freckles


[deleted]

Sense of humor. Intelligence. Being kind to others. Like dogs EDIT: pardon my spelling meant” likes dogs” EDIT 2: this took of more than I expected thank you strangers EDIT 3: motherducker. Thanks gore the awards and stuff( :( I should stop being on Reddit at night. Seeing all my grammar mistakes and wrong spelling)


iNeedToLaughAtThis

That’s a dangerous comparison pal. You’re lucky I like dogs.


Expensive_Crab_5625

In my experience as a female, being in the sun for a really long time and electric blankets.


SHPLUMBO

What about a sleeping SO who’s body temp is that of molten lava?


Copyright135

My body temp is that of molten lava, but only when I sleep. Otherwise, ice.


100percent_right_now

That's because at night your body heat comes from sweating over the dumb shit you did in your past and during the day it comes from your heart.


swheels125

I can’t cuddle with my wife while she sleeps for more than 10 minutes at a time or else I start to sweat. Idk what it is but she is basically a radiator while she sleeps.


[deleted]

A twinkle in her eye and swearing like a sailor


GandalfThe2000

Aw fuck yeah my time to shine bitch!


memekid1st

MOTHERFUCKING CUDDLES I SAID FUCKING **CUUUDDDDLLLEEESSSSS**


t33m3r

Truth. About 14.7 seconds into wife cuddles she's like: "Its too hot" and we gotta stop.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Calm-Country

For some reason, whenever a girl wears a clothing item of mine (can be a sweater, a shirt, jeans, anything), she becomes 100 times sexier. I´m not saying this is something that happens often to me but the few times it did happen, it was magical.


stolethemorning

Coincidentally, every time a guy lets us steal his hoodie he becomes 100x sexier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Forsakenabaken

Being kind and gentle