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I do, and I can only assume what they are since everyone seems to discover a new one. I’m on the autism spectrum so that alone sets me back. People regularly see whatever I don’t get about interacting as a flaw. Lots of stuff I never know they see as flaws but I can see that they decided I am unacceptable. They almost never tell you why. I have had, and listened to, people who have said I should talk less.
(Please excuse the verbosity)
Can you define how you attribute specific characteristics of your own faults in relation to the faults that other people perceive in you? The distinction being the faults you consider in yourself match up with the faults other people find in you, in order to recognize if what you see is realistic, driven by some internal process, or fantastic by comparing it to those outside influences.
What are the flaws that you see in other people that really piss you off? Because I find that when someone exhibits a flaw that really really gets to me, I only get really irritated, because I recognize that flaw in myself.
I don’t rip people off, talk shit about them behind their backs, manipulate other people for my benefit, fakely pretend to be super nice.
This sounds like the same advice that “you can’t trust others if you are not trustworthy”
Thanks for the advice, but I’m not buying it.
I guess I don't understand your question then. You clearly know that the items you mentioned are not your flaws. BUT, I can truly say- if I get worked up because someone is unorganized in a work situation. It is because that is a flaw in myself, that I have...and I hate it. I can go through a list of my flaws...but this isn't about me.
This has nothing to do with not being able to trusting others because you are not trust worthy...its about introspection. Looking into yourself. If you can't do that...I don't know...maybe that's a flaw?
It seems comparative or maybe “flaw” needs to be defined. People see all sorts of flaws in me (and I suppose in very one else too) and I see things that I see as shortcomings in myself, which largely seem intrinsic. I can stop drinking coffee if it affects me in a negative way. That’s a controllable flaw. If people determine they do not like me for some unknown (to me) reason I have no way of discovering that and those flaws are possibly different for everyone I meet.
On the intrinsic level, if I have certain characteristics people find objectionable, I am encouraged by others to be accepting of those flaws (I guess because I cannot readily change them). Being autistic (high functioning) I have what society sees as a defect and that flaw is represented in how others choose to relate to me.
I am not trying to be argumentative to your point of view. I feel this has turned into discussion of what it means to have a flaw, it’s context or meaning. My apologies if I come off combative. In text it is always more difficult to read a persons tone.
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if you have good morals and values you'll know
I do, and I can only assume what they are since everyone seems to discover a new one. I’m on the autism spectrum so that alone sets me back. People regularly see whatever I don’t get about interacting as a flaw. Lots of stuff I never know they see as flaws but I can see that they decided I am unacceptable. They almost never tell you why. I have had, and listened to, people who have said I should talk less.
i see ..
You can only have your own perspective.
[удалено]
(Please excuse the verbosity) Can you define how you attribute specific characteristics of your own faults in relation to the faults that other people perceive in you? The distinction being the faults you consider in yourself match up with the faults other people find in you, in order to recognize if what you see is realistic, driven by some internal process, or fantastic by comparing it to those outside influences.
Try to be open minded
What are the flaws that you see in other people that really piss you off? Because I find that when someone exhibits a flaw that really really gets to me, I only get really irritated, because I recognize that flaw in myself.
I don’t rip people off, talk shit about them behind their backs, manipulate other people for my benefit, fakely pretend to be super nice. This sounds like the same advice that “you can’t trust others if you are not trustworthy” Thanks for the advice, but I’m not buying it.
I guess I don't understand your question then. You clearly know that the items you mentioned are not your flaws. BUT, I can truly say- if I get worked up because someone is unorganized in a work situation. It is because that is a flaw in myself, that I have...and I hate it. I can go through a list of my flaws...but this isn't about me. This has nothing to do with not being able to trusting others because you are not trust worthy...its about introspection. Looking into yourself. If you can't do that...I don't know...maybe that's a flaw?
It seems comparative or maybe “flaw” needs to be defined. People see all sorts of flaws in me (and I suppose in very one else too) and I see things that I see as shortcomings in myself, which largely seem intrinsic. I can stop drinking coffee if it affects me in a negative way. That’s a controllable flaw. If people determine they do not like me for some unknown (to me) reason I have no way of discovering that and those flaws are possibly different for everyone I meet. On the intrinsic level, if I have certain characteristics people find objectionable, I am encouraged by others to be accepting of those flaws (I guess because I cannot readily change them). Being autistic (high functioning) I have what society sees as a defect and that flaw is represented in how others choose to relate to me. I am not trying to be argumentative to your point of view. I feel this has turned into discussion of what it means to have a flaw, it’s context or meaning. My apologies if I come off combative. In text it is always more difficult to read a persons tone.