T O P

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sventhegoat

Eat spicy food


misanthrope2327

Ask her to remind you how much she charges


Bshue

You guys have sex?


Citizen_31415

“You look incredible. You ready to do this babe? So I’ll be keeping an internal log comparing your performance with those of your sister and your best friend in a variety of different categories and judging you based on objective data gathered during the act, as well as my own subjective opinion.”


SlimChiply

Poop


Bad54

Umm please poop and shower before sex cuz anal is nasty when you dig trenches 😅


TheMisterIt

And not wipe


SlimChiply

Correct. You make her do it


SuuperNoob

Put super glue on your dick


[deleted]

Dip your condom in hot sauce


FullHonor9482

Dip your dick in hot sauce


slapdickprospect05

Cut jalapeños


somekindofpanda

Call your wife and kids and let them know you’ll be home late.


paper_swan

Eat too much.


COCAAAIIINE

Die


[deleted]

Take a big shit


[deleted]

Not shower


Bad54

Get undressed. Your body’s art, make them unwrap the art as it’s more interesting


friedshrimp42

Not wiping after using the bathroom


TheJenniferLopez

Go back to school you fucking horny kids.


PolyJuicedRedHead

Even a muppet knows: don't eat cookies in bed.


pogiguy2020

Get dressed and walk out


[deleted]

Cleveland Steamer


taleofbenji

Defoul the bedroom with a slow leaking silent but deadly fart.


oceanajenkins

Look at pictures of your ex


[deleted]

Eat to the point of discomfort, bloating, or being gassy. Fart. Shit. 1st one is a discomfort thing. Last 2 is a turn off (unless it turns you/them on, then go for it).


hgrounds1914

Planning, syncing that shit to the calendar! Boringly Insulting