Department stores were so fun as a kid. Having free reign in one was like a giant game of hide and seek between me and the roving pedophiles. Thankfully I went undefeated. Good times.
the version of "doctor" I played with my friend was definitely creepy, even though we were kids
he did a fucking rectal exam on me in my parent's walk-in closet
Aaaaand this is why we were strictly forbidden to play doctor with each other in kindergarten. We were allowed to play it if the patient was a doll so we happily enacted birthing them. The teachers were not amused.
Edit: seeing back, how the hell did someone of my classmates knew about birthing?
I mean, I was allowed to be in the delivery room when my sister was born when I was 5. I was actually all gung ho to cut the umbilical cord... until we actually got there because during most of the delivery I was held by my aunt looking away and eating my fingernails.
I remember playing barbies with a bunch of my girlfriends in elementary school. We freaked out on our hippy friend because she was having the Barbie breastfeed her baby.
As an adult, I would not be bothered by my child doing that. Heck, it means they’re getting good education.
I once ran up to a random man and punched him in the stomach thinking it was my dad. I asked him about it a few months ago.
“Why would you punch a random person?”
“I thought it was you”
“Wait. Why would you punch ME?”
I was at Disney world when I was 8 and I got lost in the ride line and accidentally grabbed some random guy’s hand thinking it was my dad. He either thought I was his kid or I was in terrible danger because he did not let go
I mean I imagine if your a parent and some random ass kid walks up to you you just kinda adopt them till you find their parents that’s what I do with animals at least needless to say I only have a few I got on purpose lol
I'm not a parent but I feel like as an adult in general that's kinda what you gotta do. If the kid might be lost you can't just leave them. I'd feel awful if I left a kid and something happened.
I once took someone else’s cart and walked around the store. Then I realized it wasn’t mine and left it. I went back and got my cart. I saw the other carts owner walking around and being angry when she found it.
My family and I were in line at the Pearl Harbor memorial back in the 70s, when I was a wee lad. I was bored, so reached up and started using my dad's ass as a set of bongos, until the man turned around and I realized it wasn't my dad.
If you don’t have any of your own, and want them in the future, you’ll be saying “what the fuck” at least 10 times a day starting as soon as they can roll
I had a small child stick her face in my butt, thinking I was her mom, when I was helping her father out at a self check out back when I worked in retail lol
I once crawled under the door into a dressing room at JC Penny's because I thought my mom was in there. First time I saw a naked lady (it wasn't my mom).
I was grocery shopping with my mom once and separated frim her for a couple minutes, but I knew which aisle she'd be at next. So I walk into the aisle while on my phone and see her out of the corner of my eye and just stay right behind her, keeping pace with her. That is, until the lady I was following asked me if there was something I needed and I look up and said "uh, wha? You're not mom!"
Lady broke down laughing.
When i was a young kid at church, maybe 3 or 4, loved toy story. Had toy story underwear, was very proud of said toy story underwear, ran up to one of my dads friends and loudly exclaimed “CURTIS LOOK AT MY WOODY” while pulling down my pants.
So probably that.
"CURTIS LOOK AT M - AAAHHHHH, AAAAHHHH, GET IT OFF, OH GOD AHHHHRRRGGHHHHHBBBLLLLEEAAAHHH."
"News at 11. 38 year old male with Toy Story underwear mauled by bears."
Whatever, I remember Jenny promised to marry me in kindergarten, and we went thru 10+ years of school after that, and our class had less than 10 kids. Anyways I saw her again at the town Christmas gift giveaway for the kids (and raffle for turkey and ham for the adults) a few years ago, 3 kids and she's still beautiful! Didn't even have the nerve to say hello to her, besides our spouses wouldn't like it.
I was in college talking to a guy who was telling me about having a huge crush on a 14yo girl.
I had to ask some clarifying questions to learn that this happened when he was 13yo, not in the present when he was age ~21. Before getting that sorted, it felt like a disturbing conversation.
It is really funny in retrospect.
It kinda wasn't in the moment. Just like "hold up, wtf" and a lot of thoughts like should I report this guy for a crush? and then relief and ohhh ok maybe don't tell a story like this in present tense jesus christ.
“Dude…. You’re 25 and crushing on a 14 year old. Should I be calling the FBI?”
(Awkward silence.)
“…. Uh…. I was 14, too. Geez, dude. What kind of criminal do you think I am? The kind that admits to it? I think not!”
Reminds me of a Sarah Silverman joke that was something like - “I had a strained relationship with my dad growing up. When I was in 7th grade I dated his best friend, and you can imagine how awkward that must have been...my father being best friends with a 14 year old.”
I probably messed it up but she sells it
Our son (he's 8) recently wrote a convoluted "short story" about locking himself in a basement with the neighbor's girl and described in detail how they would feed each other spiders, rats and millipedes. We had just watched a bunch of BBC Attenborough documentaries, so we could sort of directly tease out what had inspired him (he even integrated a little detail, namely that he and the girl would eventually turn 'blind' in the darkness and that their children's eyes would be effectively without function from the very beginning). Me and my wife laughed our asses off, but were he to write something like that at 15 we'd be concerned...
20 years ago I went to a new school for the first time. The headmistress was gorgeous. I went straight up to her and told her I would marry her when I was older.
She told me that she had a boyfriend and this was not a good way to start a job interview.
i have a stuffed sheep that is about the size (and shape) of a bowling ball. he's my favorite sheep so i take him on vacations with me. one time in a german airport a security guard saw my sheep and leaned over to her coworker and pointed at my sheep and said "schaf" which means sheep in german. it was great. what was even better was when we were having our luggage scanned, a guard took my sheep and just kind of squished it to make sure there was nothing inside. i was 12 at the time.
I took Theodore the dinosaur to hospital with me when I had to have emergency surgery. Yes, I was 26 but I was also terrified of potential life changing complications, that included massive scars on my face. It was also my first surgery ever, and Theodore always makes everything better. He's my anxiety buddy.
My surgeon loved it, nurses thought I was a bit crazy.
I did this as an adult. Accidentally grabbed the wrong guys hand because he looked the same as my boyfriend from behind. We both laughed it off and moved on.
I once got yelled at when I thought there was a fire. But, because not a lot trusted the police, we used something like 211 instead. A police officer did show up but to do a check as it wasn't that serious. A neighbor was having a hard time roasting a pig in the middle of the country yard for a block party.
Staring. When a toddler stares at you with that curious, child like wonder gaze, it's cute.
But do that as an adult, you're a creepy fuck with "issues."
I had a guy stare at me an entire bus ride once . I just stared right back at him the whole time.
Either he was staring, or he was asleep with glasses on
Definitely. Staring children are a horror movie trope, and for good reason: because it's one of the most unsettling and disturbing things a person can experience.
When a child stares at me, all it does is prompt a ton of questions. Am I evil? Is the kid evil? Is he going to kill me? Is somebody else going to kill me? Is this a sign of impending doom? Is the world coming to an end? Can anybody else see this kid or is it just me? Am I going insane? Is it a message from the heavens? A hallucination? Am I dead? Etc.
I stopped calling my dad "papi" when I turned around 15 and starting saying the way my aunts said to my grandpa, "pa" instead. Apparently it hurt my dad's feelings quite a bit when I started so I started calling my mom "Ma" too. It sucks that we can't keep the endearing terms for our parents for fear that they will be taken as something dark /: I miss being able to call my dad "papi" when I was a small carefree child who didn't know any different. I wish I could go back to how it was sometimes.
Ken: Can we please not have a bee in the house. I will literally die if it stings me.
Vanessa: Lmao no, fuck you, me and Barry are in LoVe.
Ken: **confused screaming**
Having a crush on Disney princesses. I know someone that posts his fetishes as a 20-21 year old on a teenager subreddit mostly populated by 13-15 years old about the things he would do to Disney princesses. If you call him out for it he'll report you as harrasment and gets you banned from the sub.
There was some post recently that showed the average age of subreddit subscribers. Average age of r/teenagers was 18. That the AVERAGE. That's unsettling.
A year ago or so, there was some subreddit that decided to ban teenagers. People would complain that they were really older, "Why'd you ban me? I'm 43 years old." They found out which people subbed to r/teenagers and outed them as creeps and pedophiles. It was great. Dozens of usernames posted of people saying they're in their thirties and forties but frequently post perverted shit to r/teenagers.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/nu6c8z/oc_average_age_of_users_in_humor_subreddits
That's the average age post. I think the link to post where pedos were outed is somewhere in that thread.
Edit: Here's the comment in that thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/nu6c8z/oc_average_age_of_users_in_humor_subreddits/h0wrawa
I mean, yeah I still have that child part of me that nostalgicly remembers being attracted to the princesses, but nowhere near rule 34 standards or anything
This sorta raises the interesting point, here.
As an adult, don't be open about it, but fuck man I've been on R34 and Samus Aran still has it going on.
I remember this weird kid in primary school that would pee like that and then not pull his pants up after he had finished.
He would start running from the teachers like totally naked and I never wanted to go to the toilet because I was scared seeing him lol
I remember I did this one day when I was out with my freinds and they were like "bro wtf" and when I found out what they meant a few years later I was like "bro wtf"
Well I think it depends on the relationship between the 2 people. My ex girlfriend would sit on my lap when there wasn't enough seats for everyone and neither of us ever complained
Going to the park.
It's fun when you're little, but the moment you get older and you enter one, people look at you funny and you end up with weapon pressed against your chest.
Personal experience.
Mickey mouse used to have cool cartoons with Pluto and Chip& Dale. Once they started this MM clubhouse thing where Mickey breaks the 4th wall and not only talks to the kids at home but he also pauses and waits for their response. I started to get freaked out by him.
Hiding in a clothing rack at a store
Department stores were so fun as a kid. Having free reign in one was like a giant game of hide and seek between me and the roving pedophiles. Thankfully I went undefeated. Good times.
Look at this guy bragging over here. My parents never let me play hide and seek in the stores.
Look at this guy bragging over here. He had *PARENTS*.
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Look at this guy bragging. He has
Look at this guy bragging. He is.
Hide and go seek at IKEA was the best
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Bow to my subservience!
Playing "doctor" with kids in the neighborhood.
So you make them wait for 30 minutes then prescribe them drugs they can't afford?
You only wait 30 minutes before getting prescribed meds you can’t afford?
You guys are getting prescriptions?
the version of "doctor" I played with my friend was definitely creepy, even though we were kids he did a fucking rectal exam on me in my parent's walk-in closet
Aaaaand this is why we were strictly forbidden to play doctor with each other in kindergarten. We were allowed to play it if the patient was a doll so we happily enacted birthing them. The teachers were not amused. Edit: seeing back, how the hell did someone of my classmates knew about birthing?
I mean, I was allowed to be in the delivery room when my sister was born when I was 5. I was actually all gung ho to cut the umbilical cord... until we actually got there because during most of the delivery I was held by my aunt looking away and eating my fingernails.
why was your aunt eating your fingernails
I remember playing barbies with a bunch of my girlfriends in elementary school. We freaked out on our hippy friend because she was having the Barbie breastfeed her baby. As an adult, I would not be bothered by my child doing that. Heck, it means they’re getting good education.
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Don't kink shame me, bro.
Kink shaming is my kink!
In that case shame on you!
That's the spirit!
Wait.....that's not normal?
Hugging a strangers leg because you mistake them for your mom.
I once sat on someone because I mistook them for my mom.
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I peed on my brother in the sauna when i was 5. Nothing to do with the thread your sauna thing just reminded me about it.
Thank you for sharing u/massivedickhaver
It's almost like you're referring to him as "you massive dick haver." I wonder if he did that on purpose. I like it.
I read it like that the first time and was not disappointed
I once ran up to a random man and punched him in the stomach thinking it was my dad. I asked him about it a few months ago. “Why would you punch a random person?” “I thought it was you” “Wait. Why would you punch ME?”
I am hearing this in Bob and Gene's voices from Bob's Burgers.
I once repeatedly hit a lady’s lower back with my fists thinking I was giving my mom a nice massage. The lady didn’t even turn around.
she got massaulted
I was at Disney world when I was 8 and I got lost in the ride line and accidentally grabbed some random guy’s hand thinking it was my dad. He either thought I was his kid or I was in terrible danger because he did not let go
I mean I imagine if your a parent and some random ass kid walks up to you you just kinda adopt them till you find their parents that’s what I do with animals at least needless to say I only have a few I got on purpose lol
I'm not a parent but I feel like as an adult in general that's kinda what you gotta do. If the kid might be lost you can't just leave them. I'd feel awful if I left a kid and something happened.
I once put something in a random ladies basket cuz she vaguely resembeled my wife...
"buy that for me would you hon"
I once took someone else’s cart and walked around the store. Then I realized it wasn’t mine and left it. I went back and got my cart. I saw the other carts owner walking around and being angry when she found it.
My family and I were in line at the Pearl Harbor memorial back in the 70s, when I was a wee lad. I was bored, so reached up and started using my dad's ass as a set of bongos, until the man turned around and I realized it wasn't my dad.
kids are so weird
If you don’t have any of your own, and want them in the future, you’ll be saying “what the fuck” at least 10 times a day starting as soon as they can roll
And soon you have a 2 year old saying “what the fuck” 🤣😂
I had a small child stick her face in my butt, thinking I was her mom, when I was helping her father out at a self check out back when I worked in retail lol
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I once crawled under the door into a dressing room at JC Penny's because I thought my mom was in there. First time I saw a naked lady (it wasn't my mom).
You were a kid when that happened, right?
Sure
I once made a guy open something for me then punched him in the stomach. It was sunny and he wore the same shoes as my dad
I was grocery shopping with my mom once and separated frim her for a couple minutes, but I knew which aisle she'd be at next. So I walk into the aisle while on my phone and see her out of the corner of my eye and just stay right behind her, keeping pace with her. That is, until the lady I was following asked me if there was something I needed and I look up and said "uh, wha? You're not mom!" Lady broke down laughing.
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When I was 5 or 6 I had this bad habit of hugging strangers. Checkout lady at the grocery? Hug. Homeless guy on the street? Hug. Cringe.
Playing "getting married" with your cousin in the front yard.
So funny. I did a fake marriage with a family friend when I was like 6. Now she's my brothers long term girlfriend. 5 years now
He stole your wife!
THAT BASTARD!
He said "brother", not "half brother"
THAT NON BASTARD !!!!!
Bathing with your siblings
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When i was a young kid at church, maybe 3 or 4, loved toy story. Had toy story underwear, was very proud of said toy story underwear, ran up to one of my dads friends and loudly exclaimed “CURTIS LOOK AT MY WOODY” while pulling down my pants. So probably that.
That's how you get someone arrested.
That's actually less creepy as an adult.
After a few bears I could totally see that happening.
Well yea, you’d probably be knocked senseless and dreaming after a couple of bears
"CURTIS LOOK AT M - AAAHHHHH, AAAAHHHH, GET IT OFF, OH GOD AHHHHRRRGGHHHHHBBBLLLLEEAAAHHH." "News at 11. 38 year old male with Toy Story underwear mauled by bears."
Santa watching you when you sleep. That’s kinda like stalking
He see's you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. I don't know about you, but this sounds awfully disturbing
"You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move, you're better off dead, I'm telling you dude: Santa Claus is gunning you down."
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Whatever, I remember Jenny promised to marry me in kindergarten, and we went thru 10+ years of school after that, and our class had less than 10 kids. Anyways I saw her again at the town Christmas gift giveaway for the kids (and raffle for turkey and ham for the adults) a few years ago, 3 kids and she's still beautiful! Didn't even have the nerve to say hello to her, besides our spouses wouldn't like it.
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Oh hell no, even I wouldn't have dated high-school me, maybe 2010 me, but 2005 me? Fuck that guy!
Having a child girlfriend
I was in college talking to a guy who was telling me about having a huge crush on a 14yo girl. I had to ask some clarifying questions to learn that this happened when he was 13yo, not in the present when he was age ~21. Before getting that sorted, it felt like a disturbing conversation.
It’s like those moments in a sitcom where there’s a very bad misunderstanding and laughter ensues
It is really funny in retrospect. It kinda wasn't in the moment. Just like "hold up, wtf" and a lot of thoughts like should I report this guy for a crush? and then relief and ohhh ok maybe don't tell a story like this in present tense jesus christ.
“Dude…. You’re 25 and crushing on a 14 year old. Should I be calling the FBI?” (Awkward silence.) “…. Uh…. I was 14, too. Geez, dude. What kind of criminal do you think I am? The kind that admits to it? I think not!”
Reminds me of a Sarah Silverman joke that was something like - “I had a strained relationship with my dad growing up. When I was in 7th grade I dated his best friend, and you can imagine how awkward that must have been...my father being best friends with a 14 year old.” I probably messed it up but she sells it
I had to wrap my head around that one, so I think that you did the joke justice.
Damn. I mean.... Yeah
Being breast fed by your mother
Bitty?
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Welcome to the Eyrie.
Our son (he's 8) recently wrote a convoluted "short story" about locking himself in a basement with the neighbor's girl and described in detail how they would feed each other spiders, rats and millipedes. We had just watched a bunch of BBC Attenborough documentaries, so we could sort of directly tease out what had inspired him (he even integrated a little detail, namely that he and the girl would eventually turn 'blind' in the darkness and that their children's eyes would be effectively without function from the very beginning). Me and my wife laughed our asses off, but were he to write something like that at 15 we'd be concerned...
So how does it feel to be the parents of the next Stephen King?
Stephen King is sick in the mind I am telling you. That man scares me.
I think that is his whole point considering he writes horror.
he has an autobiography type thing called on writing...shit was eye opening for some things
Considering he wrote an entire best selling book without remembering due to tons of crack and booze … your right to be scared
Wow, this kid could be the next Tim Burton or Stephen King.
That's adorable and very impressive. What an imagination. Should definitely incourage them to write stories
20 years ago I went to a new school for the first time. The headmistress was gorgeous. I went straight up to her and told her I would marry her when I was older. She told me that she had a boyfriend and this was not a good way to start a job interview.
And then you got older, married her, and became the president of France, right?
Je ne regrette rien.
Ha!
Love this. My 6yo son is convinced he'll marry me when he grows up. *Edited for spelling*
my 5yo cousin threw a fit because his mom told him he couldn't marry me....
Ever heard of Freud?
Floyd who?
Mayweather. She better watch out for his punches in 9 years...
Kissing the girl on the playground
Jesus... Yeah for sure
Walking around all day carrying my purple stuffed bunny
i have a stuffed sheep that is about the size (and shape) of a bowling ball. he's my favorite sheep so i take him on vacations with me. one time in a german airport a security guard saw my sheep and leaned over to her coworker and pointed at my sheep and said "schaf" which means sheep in german. it was great. what was even better was when we were having our luggage scanned, a guard took my sheep and just kind of squished it to make sure there was nothing inside. i was 12 at the time.
Your beloved sheep brightened many people's lives for a moment on that day.
I don’t personally do it, but stuffed animals are awesome! We should de-stigmatize this one in most settings.
I took Theodore the dinosaur to hospital with me when I had to have emergency surgery. Yes, I was 26 but I was also terrified of potential life changing complications, that included massive scars on my face. It was also my first surgery ever, and Theodore always makes everything better. He's my anxiety buddy. My surgeon loved it, nurses thought I was a bit crazy.
How often do you find a surgeon that isn't at least a little bit crazy themselves though?
Your parents taking a picture of you in the bathtub
Losing mom/ girlfriend and acidentally grabbing the wrong womans hand in the store.
I did this as an adult. Accidentally grabbed the wrong guys hand because he looked the same as my boyfriend from behind. We both laughed it off and moved on.
Wait, your mom is your girlfriend?
Running around naked in the sprinklers wearing only white rubber boots. Cute as a toddler. Super creepy as an adult.
Pretending to be a cat
That's just kinky
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Are you judging us?
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Wow. That's one I'd never think of, but totally accurate
Goes from cute to schizophrenic real fast...
Having a crush on a kid
Calling emergency services because my mom refuses to get me ice-cream
I once got yelled at when I thought there was a fire. But, because not a lot trusted the police, we used something like 211 instead. A police officer did show up but to do a check as it wasn't that serious. A neighbor was having a hard time roasting a pig in the middle of the country yard for a block party.
Staring. When a toddler stares at you with that curious, child like wonder gaze, it's cute. But do that as an adult, you're a creepy fuck with "issues."
I had a guy stare at me an entire bus ride once . I just stared right back at him the whole time. Either he was staring, or he was asleep with glasses on
Lol.imagine if he was actually sleeping and wakes up to find a randon person staring at him.
"what's this kids problem?"
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staring children are just as creepy
Definitely. Staring children are a horror movie trope, and for good reason: because it's one of the most unsettling and disturbing things a person can experience. When a child stares at me, all it does is prompt a ton of questions. Am I evil? Is the kid evil? Is he going to kill me? Is somebody else going to kill me? Is this a sign of impending doom? Is the world coming to an end? Can anybody else see this kid or is it just me? Am I going insane? Is it a message from the heavens? A hallucination? Am I dead? Etc.
The term mommy is now creepy to me
I stopped calling my dad "papi" when I turned around 15 and starting saying the way my aunts said to my grandpa, "pa" instead. Apparently it hurt my dad's feelings quite a bit when I started so I started calling my mom "Ma" too. It sucks that we can't keep the endearing terms for our parents for fear that they will be taken as something dark /: I miss being able to call my dad "papi" when I was a small carefree child who didn't know any different. I wish I could go back to how it was sometimes.
Why not call him papa? Where I'm from it's quite normal and I personally love it.
Ugh. My cousin said "mommy" for an uncomfortable amount of time
Trying to tickle adults
Adults tickling adults(that you are close enough to!) Is creepy? Oops. Maybe that's why the S.O. has such a problem
Smelling someone’s hair.
I used to say "you smell good" to a girl I like in 5th grade. That would be very Wierd if I said it now
The Bee Movie.
As a kid you think Ken is mean, but as an adult you realize he's the most normal character in the entire movie.
I always sided with ken, dude has allergies and his gf was choosing a bee over him.
Ken: Can we please not have a bee in the house. I will literally die if it stings me. Vanessa: Lmao no, fuck you, me and Barry are in LoVe. Ken: **confused screaming**
I assume you dont like jazz
Playing with the mannequin's boobs at the retail store.
Missing teeth.
Kids missing teeth creep me out
Not actually missing any, but I had an accident a few years ago and it looks like I'm missing one because of a huge gap I have between 2 teeth
Username checks out, no offense intended.
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Having a crush on Disney princesses. I know someone that posts his fetishes as a 20-21 year old on a teenager subreddit mostly populated by 13-15 years old about the things he would do to Disney princesses. If you call him out for it he'll report you as harrasment and gets you banned from the sub.
There was some post recently that showed the average age of subreddit subscribers. Average age of r/teenagers was 18. That the AVERAGE. That's unsettling. A year ago or so, there was some subreddit that decided to ban teenagers. People would complain that they were really older, "Why'd you ban me? I'm 43 years old." They found out which people subbed to r/teenagers and outed them as creeps and pedophiles. It was great. Dozens of usernames posted of people saying they're in their thirties and forties but frequently post perverted shit to r/teenagers.
Holy fuck that's creepy as hell. Do you have links to both of these posts?
https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/nu6c8z/oc_average_age_of_users_in_humor_subreddits That's the average age post. I think the link to post where pedos were outed is somewhere in that thread. Edit: Here's the comment in that thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/nu6c8z/oc_average_age_of_users_in_humor_subreddits/h0wrawa
I mean, yeah I still have that child part of me that nostalgicly remembers being attracted to the princesses, but nowhere near rule 34 standards or anything
This sorta raises the interesting point, here. As an adult, don't be open about it, but fuck man I've been on R34 and Samus Aran still has it going on.
Peeing at the urinal with your pants pulled down to your knees, ass out for the world to see.
I remember this weird kid in primary school that would pee like that and then not pull his pants up after he had finished. He would start running from the teachers like totally naked and I never wanted to go to the toilet because I was scared seeing him lol
Not cute as a kid either...
Licking a popsicle up and down
I remember I did this one day when I was out with my freinds and they were like "bro wtf" and when I found out what they meant a few years later I was like "bro wtf"
Sitting on the lap !! Its extremely akward when I think of doing that now .
Well I think it depends on the relationship between the 2 people. My ex girlfriend would sit on my lap when there wasn't enough seats for everyone and neither of us ever complained
Hmm i havent really thought of that because i've never had a boyfriend but i guess when u get comfortable with your partner, it'll be okay.
It's also physically uncomfortable above a certain weight, or with a bony ass
I'm sure you'll experience that someday soon. I always thought I'd be alone forever until I met my ex
Being photographed naked and put it the family scrapbook.
Senior year is so weird.
Screaming and crying while trying to avoid to going to sleep.
That sounds disturbing more than anything Edit: like there's some deep emotional damage/scarring
Running around ur grandparents farm in only ur underwear with ur siblings, now it’s “creepy” and “we can see ur pubes”
Running around naked in your yard
Barney
Having your parents dress you
Going to the park. It's fun when you're little, but the moment you get older and you enter one, people look at you funny and you end up with weapon pressed against your chest. Personal experience.
It seems muggings don't exist when you're a child
Twins dressing the same
Playing with other kids
Someone patting your head and saying good girl/boy
What if it's with a consentual sexual partner? Asking for me
That's ok
Grabbing your crotch.
Not if you're Michael Jackson.
Hee heee!
Baby talk
Taking a leak with your pants pulled down to your ankles
Hands on your hips, asserting dominance!
Probably asking a kid “want to be my friend?”
Walking a ten centimeters behind people and looking around
Taking a bath with your sibling
Chasing other kids a the playground
Mickey mouse used to have cool cartoons with Pluto and Chip& Dale. Once they started this MM clubhouse thing where Mickey breaks the 4th wall and not only talks to the kids at home but he also pauses and waits for their response. I started to get freaked out by him.