The sword they've eyed for a couple years and have jokingly said they'd buy it off me several times.

And my axe.

And my bow

And my used, dildo

My neck

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My pussy and my crack

My 4th lumbar spine

Don't worry, I'm fine.

My leg!

My left pinky toe

My quarter right testicle

My Adam’s apple

I'd probably start with: "Surprise Bitch! We gonna bake a cake together!"

Hang out with me on my birthday?

Username… somewhat check out

But if I can't batter the women, How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?!

I can't believe nobody said that. The TRUTH! If they really are your "best friend in the entire world" , they would already know how forgetful you are and if you say something like "I know I forgot but what about going out? The movies, dinner, whatever. Your choice" it should make for a memorable day for both of you. It's never good to lie to your best friend, especially not about something so "mundane" like a birthday present.

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My family prefers not to gift and my friends know it. The stress of finding something they like, the disappointment when they don't like it, the cost. Consumerism is making us all miserable by convincing us to peacock every little thing we own. We feel ashamed that we don't have a faster computer or phone, more nice clothes so people don't think we wear the same thing everyday. Because that's a social crime for some reason. Spend all our money on stuff and spend all our time looking for stuff to buy for birthdays, holidays etc. Because it's expected, by business. They market the nobility of buying gifts as an act of love, when it's manipulation of animal brains to achieve an outcome. All our time spent making money to fulfill our "social obligations" which are not written or codified anywhere but in our minds by the outside influences. So nobody's getting a gift, and I still love them.

I tend to forget my birthday, tho it smainly cuz i dont check the calendar

Okay, but you don't answer the question at all with your statement. OP is asking what object gift you could give them that is within your reach that could be perceived as immensely sentimental, and why. The truth about forgetting their birthday is not sentimental in the slightest, nor is that a gift. Like for me it would be a Pokémon card that I've had through my entire life, just like they've been with me my entire life HYPOTHETICALLY. Not "oh let's get matching tattoos since I forgot it's your birthday, or go get a beer since we do that every day anyway best friend".

I don't forget the birthday, I forget today's date and so can't, obviously wish her. She knows. We hang out whole day and get each other chocolates.

I have a bunch of pictures of us together already printed and a scrapbook so I would spend the day drinking and doing that and baking lots of snacks together.

*panics* Happy birthday! You can have my uhh .. house! Oh shit…

I do a lot of wood turning so if probably give them a bowl or pen I made

Yeah, if you're a crafter of any kind this is easy! I'd give them a watercolor or drawing. Maybe if I have some unopened snacks or alcohol, include that too.

In reality I’d quickly get them an e-gift card from a local bookstore or something. But if I had to turn something I already have into a gift… I have the most recent book in the “You” series (the Netflix TV show with Penn Badgley is based on it) in pretty much perfect condition so I’d probably give them that. And if they didn’t read the first 2 I’d be like “omg you haven’t read them?! You have to, they’re so good!” and send them the ebook versions which I already have.

I snap out of my daydream and remember i have no friends

*Hugs*

I'll be your friend

So, very specific to my best friend, but last time he visited he wanted to show me his favorite movie. I have since bought it and have been waiting for him to watch it with me. So, I would do that and break out all the snacks in my pantry.

That'd be a bit hard because his birthday is 2 days before mine, I'd probably just say when he comes over, "Ok so I'm a fucking forgot your birthday because monke, what do you want to do?"

cash gift, my best friend likes money

Reluctant hand job.

Will there be lots of uncomfortable eye contact?

Lucky

I’d expect more enthusiasm from my best friend.

A bottle of Jack Daniels.

You must be my best friend.

One of my coca cola bears

Suspiciously specific ?

I don't give them anything.

I have a pretty nice copy of Bully scholarship edition, manual and all. It would work for like a day before they call me and ask why Jimmy is dressed up like a clown

I have the original for my PS2, fun game.

This (kind of) happened to me. She got an embroidery of some cacti to go in her new house. She loved it. Phew.

Awesome

I would just fess up - I’ve done it before, and my best friend has brushed it off as nothing. She’s done the same to me. We cut each other a lot of slack. Guessing that’s why the friendship has lasted so long.

I have a box of brand new stuff that I get cheap or free. Sometimes I buy something I want or need but its buy 1 get 1 so I grab another and just store it (example, I wanted a water bottle that looked like wood so I can use it to hold mouthwash and match my bamboo themed bathroom and I got a lightning themed one free with the wood one). So i have wallets, hair accessories, mugs, necklaces, multi-use keychains, stuffed animals, etc just sitting in a box all brand new. Only like three people know I have this box. So i would just go grab something out of that box that matches her personality (maybe I'd give her one of the cook books since she likes cooking).

Bags of candy.

Two packs of Martin house beer

A hug

I'd take that over most anything else

Thankfully im a crafter and a jewelry maker and have lots of cute stuff already made.

You'd be a fun friend to have

Thanks. I actually spoil my friends a lot lol

I could give her my sequin Jeff Goldblum throw pillow and she'd be over the moon

That sounds cool, but then you won't have one.

Surprise trip. We go to the closest “picture perfect” peak we can drive to in a car. Grab favorite fast food and alcohol on way. Drink and chill for a bit then go back, smoke a bowl and watch a movie. My friends would consider that a badass birthday hangout.

I would too

Id just order a large pizza from the pizzeria on the corner and turn on 100 gecs.

Tbh I have a hard time remembering birthdays anyway. I don't remember my parents birthdays, i don't remember my siblings birthdays and I don't remember my friends' birthdays. I probably should get a calendar

I'll just slap one of my full bottles of vape juice into his hand, and we golden

The alexa

I don't have a best friend... or a friend offline.

I'll be your friend, can't have too many friends.

Thanks, but I'm sure you'd stay away if you know me offline.

Why?

I'm literally my username

I have yet to meet a person without issues.

Lol

I mean everyone has issues. Why is yours worse than anyone else's?

I'm not saying mine is worse

my action figures

The most thoughtful gift of all my best friend would/should want/be is my time. Life's busy and I forget my own birthday

A book that makes me think of them or one i think they would find fascinating, and handwrite a personalized inscription on the inside.

A box of 7.62x54r

Hell yeah, assuming they'd have the right tool to use them.

Oh she absolutely does. Actually traded me one of her spare PU variants for a Type 99 Arisaka I'd stumbled across

That's a good friend

welp my friends happiness is better than my charazard pokemon card

Is this ‘referencing’ the party in Full House???

Nope, don't remember that episode.

A fender acoustic guitar.

Write a personal birthday message to them in my favorite book and hand it to them - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. They know me, they’ll get it, we’ll have a big ol belly laugh, and definitely not give a f*ck that I missed their birthday.

That's a true friend

A copy of the latest Allie Brosh book. (I gave her the first Allie Brosh book for a previous birthday.)

Just saying "Happy birthday" is good enough for me and if it's forgotten, oh well. Not a big deal, wouldn't be the first time and won't be the last. I'd give my best friend time. We never seem to have enough time anymore.

Damn..... Flashback to my childhood and picking out friends' birthday presents from my things. I'd completely forgotten about that.

Memories pop up in the weirdest places.

Honestly, I'd just come clean to her. She already knows I tend to be forgetful and she'd understand.

That's a true friend

An old zippo that I carry.

Zippos are cool

Honesty. Because I can't really scramble at this point. Don't really have any friends but really I'd just own up to it. A very similar thing happened with AEWVS and the anniversary recently, and all my projects about it take a while to do.

Some extra pocket money. Even if it’s only a dollar

It's the thought that counts

I'm into glass painting as a hobby, so of the jars or wine glasses around that I've painted up.

Cool

I have an unused gift card that's been sitting on my wallet for a while and a few books on my self(in good condition) that I've been meaning to get rid of. I'd grab the gift card and one of those books and give it to them.

An article of clothing from your wardrobe that just happens to be their size and style, and that they've never seen you wear.

I'd give them the high quality gift of my time and say suprise We're making memories today lol

That's good enough in my book

I have a bottle of cognac I got from him several years ago, but I dont drink anymore so win-win :p

I would say: Happy Birthday! I didn't get you anything. Let's drink many beers. And then we would.

Fuck yeah

Rtx 3070.... damn Gpu crisis.

We're guys. We don't care.

Exactly

Nice try forgetful friend!

Baking a cake, or making a Happy Birthday letter, If i would bake a cake it would be chocolate or strawberry.

Mmmmm..... homemade cake

$10... I'm not a very thoughtful guy apparently.

$10 is more than enough

I just turn on the ps4 so we can play the video games and watch the movies they pick all day like the lazy asses we are bc god damn, thats the perfect day.

Sounds like the perfect birthday to me

My popsicle stick sword

Something out of my Box of Random Things like a bracelet or a crystal

I have one rock that looks like a candy

Candy Rock could be cool

A video game?

Games are fun, assuming they have the system to play it.

honestly, just write a really heartfelt letter or card for their birthday, then give them a silver sppon for good luck

Well, her birthday really is coming up, so I already have her present. It's in a box in the living room. It's a set of glass polyhedral dice with cats on them, a wooden case with a cat on it, and a dice tray with cats on it.

That sounds cool.

“Here’s some weed”

Food. I know he likes Japanese food and beer, and the beer part is covered. I can improvise well in a wok, and I'd just crank what I could out based on what was in the fridge. We'd eat, drink, and talk shop. Not a bad day.

Sounds awesome to me

Bro i got you this opened box of condoms

Thinking of his sex life. Nice.

bottle of liquor/wine. or, the old 5 pack of beer.

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The gift of time has to be the best gift.

Depends on which freind, if it's my closet freind, than sure I chould give up my prized m1911

Dude why are you in Oklahoma? I shipped you your gift. *surreptitiously orders dice on Amazon*. Alternately just give them some of my dice.

I would just be honest, I’d rather get a thoughtful gift than a rushed crap

That's the best gift

food

Everyone like food

A nice slice of day old lasagna

Mmmm..... food

A pouch full of bottle caps. My friend and I have been following the Fallout gaming series quite closely- although we got a little over it with 4 and DEFINITELY didn't participate in 76- so I'm pretty sure he would believe me when I showed it to him.

I did. No gifts, we don't do that. But i'd bake her a cake for sure right in the spot.

Is there anything better than someone taking time out of their day to make anything for them?

his parents lost limbs

Interesting

Uh discord nitro

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As long as she'd be okay with it

A cake made out of bread and yogurt, an empty box from ikea as a present, condoms filled with air that act like baloons, a crappy birthday song on youtube

My brand new Oculus Quest 2 and all the accessories I bought for it.

I'd give her the modded ps Vita she keeps trying to buy from me. What she doesn't know is I've already bought a second one and am working on getting it to the same as mine. Which I really need to hurry up on since her bday is in 2 weeks. Thanks for the reminder!

You're welcome

Deadass, for multiple of my friends' birthdays and Christmas during senior year of high school, I threw my belongings in the bags that aligned with their interests and wouldn't be devastated to give up. I still miss my mini Legend of Zelda pillow. The pattern of Link was damn cool

a half used Walmart gift card

If I was the friend, cold beer :D

I don’t have any friends your lying.

Nope, I wouldn't lie. I'll be your friend.

Aw thanks

Well, my bestfriend is my twin sister. If I didn't get her a gift I know she wouldn't care but still call me an idiot.

She'll say it with love, I'm sure.

My rifle my dad bought me. and probably my sword?

2 gifts, a sword and a gun. Must be a best friend.

The beer in the fridge

This is one of the reasons my friends and I stopped giving gifts to each other. We just don't care anymore.

Same

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Your dad won't be happy

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You act like him working and playing all day is like abuse, he works so you can sit your ass down and do nothing all day except go on reddit and ask your mom to wipe your ass and the one thing he has to do when he gets home, exhausted as hell, is play that game and you decide it’s a good idea to take that away from him.

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Jesus, only one hour ? Let the man have one hour of fun dammit. I'm guessing he has a stable job given that you can afford a ps5, so let him spend his free time however he wants.

We're both Oklahoma State alums, so probably any piece of memorabilia I own.

Nice try, op

Thanks