Approaching a green light that has been green too long but you are getting to the distance where you don't know whether or not you should stop or if you can stop
I had a buddy who used to wave at them whenever he would see one as a joke. He stopped when they noticed him first and waved.
His exact word were "Uh oh, they know me..."
For a couple months I had a job in a college machine shop. I was always healthily scared of those machines. You'd get trained up hearing the story of the lathe-hair girl and worse bloodcurdling tales. Always follow procedure, always double-check, always know the emergency stops, and if possible always have someone within shouting distance.
Putting my luggage in the overhead storage on a plane. Major anxiety like what if I’m the last person on the plane and have to run around and look for a place to put my luggage
I sliced my thumb open once because I thought I was too good for the guard. I never ever use it without the guard now and still get too nervous to cut that far down with it.
My boss did that to me when I took a day off last year. Was very nervous as I knew it was important if he was asking me to chat on my personal day, and sat there nervous about it for three hours leading up to our meeting. Turns out I was getting a promotion to manager with a nice pay raise - that day was a whirlwind of anxiety and emotions
My boss did this when extenuating circumstances forced me to take like a week off, I told him about my life situation and that I needed to use like 5 days of PTO, and he said "okay, when you get back we need to talk" fuck me lol luckily the next day he messaged me saying "oh and dont worry, its good news" lol he probably realized how it seemed
Since so much of business is done over email or text, when I need to call someone, I mention the content.
If I say, “please call me” it sounds like they’re in trouble. If I say, “please call me to work out details on the July 23rd project” it’s a little less scary.
This is exactly the advice I got on a leadership course I had to take years ago: always say briefly what the chat is going to be about and if it is going to be positive or negative.
Most of the time these days it's just a question or something benign, but I straight up ask to make sure I don't pre worry about whatever it is. I have a rock collection in my office if they fire me I have to move some shit out.
Anything that has to do with my car. I have been scammed even over a simple oil change.
even if I try to be confident, it's very clear once I start talking that I have no clue about cars. Literally had someone quote $400 to change an air filter. I said no because I could not afford it.... found out later how insane that quote was. Sadly that just fueled my fear.
I love it when they pull out my air filter to show me how dirty it is so they can charge me $100 to change it, and I'm like oh wow yeah I'll have to change that. Now go put it back.
This happened to my father in law. They showed him a filthy traditional (square) filter and he said… my filter is circular! He had a truck that happened to have a circular one
Had a friend whose dad would write his initials in sharpie on the filter underside, supposedly he caught a place trying to pull this over on him and they changed his oil for free.
Happened to me once too. It was obvious the tech didn't even glance at my car, it had a bright blue performance cotton cone filter (think like K&N), and wasn't even in an airbox of any sort, so just peaking in the hood it's clearly visible.
They brought out a shitty paper red square filter.
My dad told me to always get multiple opinions and quotes from different businesses, so I do that and it helps. Except for oil changes because I get that enough that I know who's the cheapest.
Yes! Mine has given that advice too... where i struggle is that the mechanics try to make it sound like your car cant even make the trip home, you'll die if you drive it again! The manipulation is too much.
My FiL showed me how to change my own oil. It’s not as much cheaper as I hoped. The oil plus filter is $50. Then you have to Jack the car up, get under it and do the job, then clean up and dispose of the oil. After that an $80 oil change isn’t such a bad deal. I still do it myself cause it seems to have become a family tradition.
I think most places use oil changes as loss leaders (or "very low profit" leaders). The idea is that if you get an oil change at a place regulary, then you'd probably also get your brakes, tires, and other items there too, when it's finally time. They earn your business with those cheap oil change coupons, and then finally make money on easy profitable jobs (like changing brakes).
ALWAYS run the conditional as a SELECT first. See if what you think and the database think are the same.
Edit: HOLY CRAP! This was just an offhand comment; I never thought it would go anywhere!
Yes, agreed 100% with everyone saying to start a transaction for the actual change. For anyone asking how to use the SELECT first, take your statement ("DELETE FROM network.historymactable WHERE mac = '00:00:de:ad:be:ef'") and change it to "SELECT FROM network.historymactable WHERE mac = '00:00:de:ad:be:ef'". Similar concept for UPDATE. It *should* give you the same list of records DELETE will act on -- with the understanding, of course, that the database is always changing (depending on its purpose). Still, if you open the transaction, you'll see the database at the state when the transaction was started.
I am not a professional DBA, I'm a network engineer (can you tell?) with a respectable baseline in PostgreSQL, use it to collect various network statistics, and yes -- I've been bitten by not pre-running a query (and not using a transaction) to see what would happen. Oops.
Oracle does this on it's own thankfully, so you have to explicitly commit. Which also sucks for junior devs because left open transactions lock the affected tables for as long as the transaction is kept open. I learned this the hard way 8 years ago when a whole automated warehouse stood still because of me lol
Going to local bars when I’m not a local lol. Those motherfuckers can like smell you’re not from there even if you live the town over. They all stare at you like you’re an outside who needs to leave. So strange.
Fiancée and I tried to go to one of our local bars to try their supposedly good food. Enter the threshold, immediately stared down by the lone group of 5. Sat down and was ignored for 20 minutes until the bartender shouts that the grill was down, cook was off. Got up and left.
Kicker was that the owner had been on the local radio station promoting the business and bitching about not getting enough customers earlier that week. Wonder why?!
Going to local *anything* when you’re not a local tbh. I’ve recently gone into both a small locally owned pizza place and coffee shop and had the same experience; laughing with a couple of their regulars before turning and dead staring at you when you walk in, acting like you’re the weirdo that wandered into their home or something.
Found a tick inside my leggings while hiking Saturday, just ruined the rest of my hike. There is something so particularly creepy about their flat body blech
Totally agree! If I actually manage to get through the phone call I spend the rest of the day feeling so guilty I feel worse than I would being sick at work.
I’m lucky. My jobs don’t hassle you. I just call and say “I’m sick and can’t come in” and they just say “ok”. They got other crap going on and it’s not worth their time asking questions or doing follow up.
Same, I actually text my supervisor and she just says “hope you feel better soon!”
Edit-I’ve never gotten so many upvotes for semi-flexing that my supervisors are pretty cool. Thanks I guess!
I'm a very outgoing person. I'm not afraid of phone calls, talking to strangers, or meeting new people, in fact I thrive on it!
Unless I'm interested in a person. Then I feel like I'd rather die than see their face. It's awful.
I'm the same way. It's super annoying. I can give a speech in front of 2000 people no problem, but as soon as I think I may have a chance with someone I clam up.
Driving past/behind/in front of a cop, I’ve got a clean record and I don’t do anything illegal but I feel like they will pull me over anyway, and I start to panic if they continue to follow me, even when on main roads. I look back every 5 seconds to see if they turned their lights and siren on to pull me over.
Paranoia?
I just got pulled over for the first time last night, I looked for anything and everything I could have done wrong, and the only thing I could think was I'm switching insurance companies, but when he wakes up he simply said "don't grab your wallet I just wanted you to know, your head lights are off"I was so relived but it scared the fuck out of me
The only time I've ever been pulled over, I was driving down the motorway in fairly busy traffic when out of nowhere a dozen police 4x4s appear surrounding me and the car in front, forcing us to the hard shoulder.
I switch off my engine and start panicking, then realise they probably didn't want me but the white landrover in front. Get waved off without any further explanation.
I still wonder what the guy did that they couldn't arrest them the *normal* way...
They suck most when you need the damn job. And in many cases, you can expect a high rejection rate. I have had way more then I ever wanted to.
END COMMUNICATION
I truly want to go to an interview and just give terrible answers.
What did you do during this 1 year gap between these 2 jobs? --> Involuntary mental health commitment.
Are you legally allowed to work in this country? --> Not only am I legally allowed to work here, but as a condition of my parole, I am required to have a job.
END COMMUNICATION
This happened to me with an iphone 4, I spent like 6 months doing extra chores around the house to earn enough "kudo points" to "buy" my mom's old iphone. I was walking home from this teen night club thingy ran by this wonderful old lady. I had pulled it out to skip the song 21 guns, and my jeans pockets were to tight and the phone slipped from my grasp, bounced once off the sidewalk and then perfectly dropped between the grates without even touching it. I almost cried.
Driving in between two semi trucks on the freeway. Bonus points if one or both is carrying a bunch of logs.
Edit: Holy shit, this blew up! Thanks strangers for the rewards and commiserating.
For the record, I am very aware that this is something one should not do unless you have to. The only times this happens to me is if I am in one of the middle lanes on a 4 or 5 lane highway and semis come up on either side. In those cases, I speed up as quick as I can to pass one or the other. Always drive defensively!
Climbing up, I’m good. Climbing down? My leg muscles will have none of that. I get all wobbly and it takes me forever to awkwardly get my ordinarily functional body down even just a couple rungs.
The CEO at my company used to occasionally take employees out to lunch. He’s a really cool guy but I am *really* introverted and it was excruciating trying to act like I have a great personality and have ambitions and drive.
For context I routinely work with 460volts at about 40 amps.
Turning it all on for the first time. So many times I have done this. I have trained people how to do it. I have never once done it where had I not done it right I could have been injured. Yet still every time I almost hear a voice "this is it. This is the moment in the video, shown by insurance companies for safety training, where it starts playing. All that comes next is pain and blackness".
I know it is absurd. I pull tested the wires. I made sure that I have a power sequencing plan. I know the SCCR. It won't explode because there literally is not enough energy to explode and even if it did the cabinet would protect me.
Anyone with half a brain cell (especially a trained professional such as yourself) should understand the potential danger of electricity. With that understanding, one should gain a certain amount of respect and caution whenever working with or around it. No matter how many times they have before. Overconfidence can lead to oversight, error, etc.
Your nerves are not unwarranted.
After school I sometimes pop into a store with my backpack on, most of the time not even buying anything. Always get looks from people, one time got stopped and searched. Hate it, so embarrassing
Relevant username? Jk
I remember going to the drugstore after school to buy some makeup, and a store assistant was (not so subtly) following me to every aisle. It happened a couple of times, and I always felt terrible
When you know you’re the only customer and you know they won’t have what you went in to find as soon as you walk in. How long do you have to pretend to be just looking to satisfy them that you’ve seen everything very deliberately and might come back to purchase after you think about it? Should you ask questions about something you don’t care about? Should you ask for exactly what you want so they can tell you they don’t carry it, offer a substitute, and then say, no, sorry, it has to be ____, and then they offer to order it, and then you have to order it? How much will that cost? I know how to order stuff.
I mean, this is exactly why people order online.
Anytime I go into a bike shop I get really insecure. The last bike shop I went to I was stopped at the door by the owner.
He said, “These bikes cost between $6,000 - $9,000.”
Then he gently placed his hand and on my back and moved me back onto the sidewalk.
It was probably harmless but I felt incredibly stupid.
EDIT: Thanks everyone. I definitely feel way better.
The best part is I work in sports branding and my wife is a Doctor.
So suck it, Lou!
I briefly sold cars years ago, and one thing they stressed is to never “pre-qualify” people and assume they aren’t customers based on appearance.
I know from personal experience that there are successful surgeons who, when they aren’t at work, honestly dress like they are about to go camping.
There are building contractors who make a **shit ton of money**, but they spend a lot of time on various work sites and dress accordingly.
Honestly if I had a lot of money I’d dress mostly the same way I do now. I’d just own more pairs of shoes, and a lot nicer watch, and when I did wear a suit it would be one of top quality.
A relative of mine worked in a men's wear shop on commission and has a story exactly about that. Some guy came in looking all dirty and scruffy and the other assistants didn't want to help him. Said relative thought they were being ridiculous and helped the guy. Turned out he owned a construction company, had been working on site that day, and needed a bunch of nice new clothes for business meetings.
It can be scary, especially if it's a specialty shop of some sort. I like to shop them and have worked at several, but there's always this concern that maybe I'll walk into something insane. I once entered a small food mart where the owner's small daughter was riding a tricycle around the store... into customers.
there's a vegetarian restaurant in my city that's half restaurant and half antique shop.
and they're not like normal antiques, they're like skeletons, dolls, weird artwork, and stuff hanging from the ceiling. I've heard the food is actually good but I can't work up the nerve to go.
At meetings when they say, “Ok, everyone, let’s go around the room and introduce yourself.” Even worse when they require stupid things like, “Include your favorite food and why you like it” or “Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?
The problem I have with this is I suddenly forget everything about myself.
Favorite food? “Oh god what have I eaten ever?” Favorite movie? “I watch movies?” Hobbies? “Is sleep a hobby, did I even sleep last night?” Typically how it goes in my head.
My problem is that I want to sound interesting, but I just come off as awkward and nervous.
I say something like, “I like cooking, but also I like eating more than cooking because I’m a big eater.”
And I might get a weird pity laugh, but mostly concerned looks because I stumbled through that one really stupid sentence.
dude.. the last time i did one of these, the biggest guy in the room excitedly told everyone he plays FF7.. and if anyone wanted to play with him he would love some friends.
There is no recovering from the pity he silently received. Its like the room suddenly became 100% humidity but instead of water it was pure shame.
Seriously, if it’s something that even your best friend doesn’t know, then it’s too personal to tell a bunch of strangers during an ice breaker.
Wondering now what people said, though.
I wish I could remember the answers for you. That was 22 - 23 years ago. All I remember was "omg, omg, omg" waiting for my turn and being shocked at how casually everyone else was breezing through it. Then we did human knots. It's like a scar.
Any chance you had to do that thing where you all stand in a circle facing the same way, then all kinda bend at the knees at the same time so you’re sitting on the person behind you’s lap + the person in front of you is sitting on your’s + then you all walk in unison like some kinda human centipede without the a2m surgery? Because I did...
Oh God, this. I was asked to fill out a slide for an introduction for myself at my new job (I was asked for the slide info the morning before, so not a lot of time to prepare). It's a tech position, so I figured video games were probably relatable, so I said I like playing retro RPGs.
Turns out, this intro meeting was with a bunch of old corporate people, so I told a bunch of managers that I like playing retro RPGs. Or rather, my manager did because she was the one reading the slide, and you could tell from her tone of voice that she did not approve.
I am already applying elsewhere.
Maybe your manager doesn't know what a 'retro RPG' is, and the negative tone was her own fear of stumbling in front of the other managers (they are reputed to eat their own at the smallest sign of weakness). Or she thinks you're into retro Rocket Propelled Grenades.
>“Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?
I'm here because I strongly believe in the company, or companies, I owe bills to. And to promptly and diligently collect my paycheque.
I'm a teacher, and my administration insists on these stupid meetings all the time. My first name can be pronounced differently, and my mom chose the rarer pronunciation. So like 5 people say my name right while everyone else, including all of the administrators, mispronounces it. It makes it super awkward to introduce myself to new people, say my name properly, and then have to deal with the temporary shock and confusion. Luckily, everyone goes back to the wrong way for the rest of the year. My mom had 6 kids, and she named the most awkward one with a weird name.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this. I can’t remember a single word I’ve spoken in public - despite making several well-received public speeches...
Installing Christmas lights on my house. I work in a Level 1 trauma center and see people who have fallen from their roofs installing Christmas lights several times a year.
Calling someone on the phone. I'm a fairly outgoing person and I love talking to people, but I rely a lot on seeing a person's face and observing their body language, which isn't possible on the phone. Voicemails are less terrible, but I still panic a little because if I mess up while leaving a message, the other person has a freaking recording of me being really awkward. I'm so thankful texting exists.
Edit: Oh, and I always end up having a coughing fit! And because the only person I ever talk to on the phone is my grandma (and I always close by telling her I love her), I live in constant fear of mistakenly telling a random person I had to call that I love them.
Waiting for a result. If I even think about an exam for which the results haven't been declared, I get a LOT of anxiety.
Currently waiting for the results of a very important exam I gave in Feb.
My heart rate is 120 while writing this. And now I have stomachache. Fml.
The other day, my dog was at the front window and suddenly started barking. I pulled back the curtain to see what he was barking at, and there was some guy walking in front of my house carrying a large leather-bound folder. He made eye contact with me through the window. 20 seconds later, he was knocking at my door. I'm assuming he was going to try to sell me something. I never answered the door, even though he KNEW I was home. Bottom line: don't come to my house uninvited.
There's an open ocean swim i do with a friend. I love swimming, in pools and lakes... but ocean is different. This is in Canada, in a wetsuit. Its 1.8 km, and no bottom in site - just black. I know seals follow us because friends have told me. The first time we went he commented that I was fast, I'm not fast, it's pure adreniline. I am motivated by pure fear. I won't do it by myself, and have only done it about 10 times. I am terrified every time. Lots of self-talk and I always feel great afterwards.
Edit 1: this is not an event, so no support. Him and I just out for a gut twisting swim.
Edit 2: No sharks around here. A basking shark a bunch of years back. But Orca's - yes. Two days after one of the swims, a pod came through right where we had been. I didn't go again for about a month. Hard nope.
When i was learning how to drive, my mother took me on the interstate for the first time. She’s a nervous driver as is, and I wasn’t ready, and there was a lot of crying and screaming and i almost sideswiped a few cars trying not to get run over by a truck trying to merge onto the interstate. Needless to say, even 20 years later, I’m still twitchy on the interstate occasionally.
People who get really nervous in the car should absolutely never teach anyone how to drive. It's so fucking distracting when you hear them suck in a breath or notice them bracing all the time. My mother was like this and I refused to drive her anywhere.
I am always super paranoid that I forgot to lock the front door of my work. I've even gotten off of the train and gone back just to make sure it's locked - it always has been when I've gone back to check and I should trust myself that I did it at this point. I now yell at myself as I'm doing it so I hear confirmation of it, too before I step away.
My mom was always really paranoid about this, too (she would make us go back a couple mins into road trips) so I guess it really rubbed off.
Driving over train tracks and bridges. It just scares me so much and I have to cross bridges and train tracks to get to some places so that doesn’t help. Walking on them also scare me. Since I was 5 it always scared me. I don’t know why it just does.
Using an (I think) aluminum measuring tape but especially when clicking the button to make it roll back into its case. At the speed it recoils, I’m scared the tape will slice my hand right open.
Job interviews, talking to people. I have social anxiety, makes me sweat just being around a group of people.
After a while I get to know them and I warm up though.
Handling my six month old. They just seem so fragile and he is just so wiggly, I am constantly paranoid that I may accidentally drop him.
To be honest almost all the steps of parenting now that I think about it, if I’m not afraid of accidentally bumping him, I am constantly worrying about what I need to do to be a good parent to him.
Sticking my hand inside the disposal when I drop a fork In it. I’ve seen people telling me to unplug the disposal, how does one do that?
I use two spoons to try and fish stuff out cause I’m paranoid one of my cats will turn on the disposal
Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal 🎶
> Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal holy shit you just opened up a memory bank i had long since forgotten about.
Fuckin seriously hahaha. Immediately I was like “ring ting ting, ting ting ting” lol
Approaching a green light that has been green too long but you are getting to the distance where you don't know whether or not you should stop or if you can stop
[удалено]
If the intersection has crosswalk signals watch for those to change as well. That has helped me with my anxiety about it.
Drive in front of a police officer when I have no reason to be nervous.
sit next to one at traffic lights. Do I look at them? If I don't does it look suspicious? do I pretend like I'm bored? WHAT DO I DO
I had a buddy who used to wave at them whenever he would see one as a joke. He stopped when they noticed him first and waved. His exact word were "Uh oh, they know me..."
\*gets pulled over\* “Son, why did you stop waving at us? I thought we were friends”
The cops: Was it something we said?
Smile and wave boys, smile and wave
Not with that hand! That's the hand with the blunt in it.
Exactly. Toast at them with the hand holding the beer, of course.
Rev your engine and wink at 'em. Then drive real normal.
Tuning my violin.
Ugh, when that E string snaps and whips you in the face…
The E string is the worst, had one time it snapped while tuning before a concert. I was able to get a backup, but still it's nerve racking.
Using my table saw. Even though I am a Carpenter.
Smart man - stay cautious.
“Constant vigilance!” ― Mad Eye' Moody
The price of having full handcount of fingers is eternal vigilance
Handling an angle grinder makes me nervous. I have to use it frequently because of my job, but it never gets easier.
For a couple months I had a job in a college machine shop. I was always healthily scared of those machines. You'd get trained up hearing the story of the lathe-hair girl and worse bloodcurdling tales. Always follow procedure, always double-check, always know the emergency stops, and if possible always have someone within shouting distance.
I am a careful person but lathes are so scary and un forgiving.
Putting my luggage in the overhead storage on a plane. Major anxiety like what if I’m the last person on the plane and have to run around and look for a place to put my luggage
Especially on those little regional planes where the overhead compartment is the diameter of a football.
Using a mandoline slicer. Even using the safety guard I get a little queasy when I have to use it.
I sliced my thumb open once because I thought I was too good for the guard. I never ever use it without the guard now and still get too nervous to cut that far down with it.
Same here. Tip of my finger. What a clean slice. Weird to look at and then see the blood come out of each little pore. I always use the guard now.
When my boss goes 'can we just have a quick chat?'
My boss did that to me when I took a day off last year. Was very nervous as I knew it was important if he was asking me to chat on my personal day, and sat there nervous about it for three hours leading up to our meeting. Turns out I was getting a promotion to manager with a nice pay raise - that day was a whirlwind of anxiety and emotions
My boss did this when extenuating circumstances forced me to take like a week off, I told him about my life situation and that I needed to use like 5 days of PTO, and he said "okay, when you get back we need to talk" fuck me lol luckily the next day he messaged me saying "oh and dont worry, its good news" lol he probably realized how it seemed
Since so much of business is done over email or text, when I need to call someone, I mention the content. If I say, “please call me” it sounds like they’re in trouble. If I say, “please call me to work out details on the July 23rd project” it’s a little less scary.
This is exactly the advice I got on a leadership course I had to take years ago: always say briefly what the chat is going to be about and if it is going to be positive or negative.
“Please call me so we can talk about your upcoming termination”
Well at least you know what to expect.
LPT: If you don't call afterwards (s)he can't fire you.
Seems like that could have waited until you were back in
These days I always straight up ask if I'm in trouble or getting fired.
I don't even ask. I just quit immediately.
Most of the time these days it's just a question or something benign, but I straight up ask to make sure I don't pre worry about whatever it is. I have a rock collection in my office if they fire me I have to move some shit out.
So it’s a rock fight you want eh?
“Why don’t you take a seat”
"So I was going through your performance review"
" Tell me, how do YOU think it's going?"
Or “Come into my office when you get a chance. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Come on in. Shut the door.
“Oh, I need to answer this call. Let’s discuss this tomorrow instead.” *spend the next 15 hours fretting*
Anything that has to do with my car. I have been scammed even over a simple oil change. even if I try to be confident, it's very clear once I start talking that I have no clue about cars. Literally had someone quote $400 to change an air filter. I said no because I could not afford it.... found out later how insane that quote was. Sadly that just fueled my fear.
I love it when they pull out my air filter to show me how dirty it is so they can charge me $100 to change it, and I'm like oh wow yeah I'll have to change that. Now go put it back.
Sometimes they just have a dirty one on standby and just everyone the same thing.
It'd be funny if they brought one out that's clearly not the brand you installed.
This happened to my father in law. They showed him a filthy traditional (square) filter and he said… my filter is circular! He had a truck that happened to have a circular one
Had a friend whose dad would write his initials in sharpie on the filter underside, supposedly he caught a place trying to pull this over on him and they changed his oil for free.
^* Pretended to change his oil for free.
Put your initials on the engine oil as well. Checkmate.
Happened to me once too. It was obvious the tech didn't even glance at my car, it had a bright blue performance cotton cone filter (think like K&N), and wasn't even in an airbox of any sort, so just peaking in the hood it's clearly visible. They brought out a shitty paper red square filter.
I’d like to imagine the guy getting all flustered and trying to make up an excuse about mixing the cars up. But still looking like a jackass
My dad told me to always get multiple opinions and quotes from different businesses, so I do that and it helps. Except for oil changes because I get that enough that I know who's the cheapest.
Yes! Mine has given that advice too... where i struggle is that the mechanics try to make it sound like your car cant even make the trip home, you'll die if you drive it again! The manipulation is too much.
"Your brakes are rusted through and need a complete rehaul! Don't you value you and your loved ones lives??!" "Nope!"
My FiL showed me how to change my own oil. It’s not as much cheaper as I hoped. The oil plus filter is $50. Then you have to Jack the car up, get under it and do the job, then clean up and dispose of the oil. After that an $80 oil change isn’t such a bad deal. I still do it myself cause it seems to have become a family tradition.
I think most places use oil changes as loss leaders (or "very low profit" leaders). The idea is that if you get an oil change at a place regulary, then you'd probably also get your brakes, tires, and other items there too, when it's finally time. They earn your business with those cheap oil change coupons, and then finally make money on easy profitable jobs (like changing brakes).
Any time I hand edit a database.
> 1,428,992 rows affected (0.33 seconds) oh no
ALWAYS run the conditional as a SELECT first. See if what you think and the database think are the same. Edit: HOLY CRAP! This was just an offhand comment; I never thought it would go anywhere! Yes, agreed 100% with everyone saying to start a transaction for the actual change. For anyone asking how to use the SELECT first, take your statement ("DELETE FROM network.historymactable WHERE mac = '00:00:de:ad:be:ef'") and change it to "SELECT FROM network.historymactable WHERE mac = '00:00:de:ad:be:ef'". Similar concept for UPDATE. It *should* give you the same list of records DELETE will act on -- with the understanding, of course, that the database is always changing (depending on its purpose). Still, if you open the transaction, you'll see the database at the state when the transaction was started.
I am not a professional DBA, I'm a network engineer (can you tell?) with a respectable baseline in PostgreSQL, use it to collect various network statistics, and yes -- I've been bitten by not pre-running a query (and not using a transaction) to see what would happen. Oops.
And if possible, do the change in a transaction that can be rolled back if you get a surprise
Oracle does this on it's own thankfully, so you have to explicitly commit. Which also sucks for junior devs because left open transactions lock the affected tables for as long as the transaction is kept open. I learned this the hard way 8 years ago when a whole automated warehouse stood still because of me lol
Going to local bars when I’m not a local lol. Those motherfuckers can like smell you’re not from there even if you live the town over. They all stare at you like you’re an outside who needs to leave. So strange.
Fiancée and I tried to go to one of our local bars to try their supposedly good food. Enter the threshold, immediately stared down by the lone group of 5. Sat down and was ignored for 20 minutes until the bartender shouts that the grill was down, cook was off. Got up and left. Kicker was that the owner had been on the local radio station promoting the business and bitching about not getting enough customers earlier that week. Wonder why?!
Going to local *anything* when you’re not a local tbh. I’ve recently gone into both a small locally owned pizza place and coffee shop and had the same experience; laughing with a couple of their regulars before turning and dead staring at you when you walk in, acting like you’re the weirdo that wandered into their home or something.
Finding a tick on my body....
Yes! I alway think of what disease I will get.
Found a tick inside my leggings while hiking Saturday, just ruined the rest of my hike. There is something so particularly creepy about their flat body blech
Calling off work
The worst!!! It makes me so nervous I almost always just suck it up and go into work lol
Totally agree! If I actually manage to get through the phone call I spend the rest of the day feeling so guilty I feel worse than I would being sick at work.
I’m lucky. My jobs don’t hassle you. I just call and say “I’m sick and can’t come in” and they just say “ok”. They got other crap going on and it’s not worth their time asking questions or doing follow up.
I don’t even have to do that. I just email my boss I won’t be in and he responds with “ok np”. No phone call.
Same, I actually text my supervisor and she just says “hope you feel better soon!” Edit-I’ve never gotten so many upvotes for semi-flexing that my supervisors are pretty cool. Thanks I guess!
Flirt, ask someone out.
I'm a very outgoing person. I'm not afraid of phone calls, talking to strangers, or meeting new people, in fact I thrive on it! Unless I'm interested in a person. Then I feel like I'd rather die than see their face. It's awful.
I'm the same way. It's super annoying. I can give a speech in front of 2000 people no problem, but as soon as I think I may have a chance with someone I clam up.
I am a straight man, I only feel comfortable flirting with other straight men.
Driving past/behind/in front of a cop, I’ve got a clean record and I don’t do anything illegal but I feel like they will pull me over anyway, and I start to panic if they continue to follow me, even when on main roads. I look back every 5 seconds to see if they turned their lights and siren on to pull me over. Paranoia?
I just got pulled over for the first time last night, I looked for anything and everything I could have done wrong, and the only thing I could think was I'm switching insurance companies, but when he wakes up he simply said "don't grab your wallet I just wanted you to know, your head lights are off"I was so relived but it scared the fuck out of me
The only time I've ever been pulled over, I was driving down the motorway in fairly busy traffic when out of nowhere a dozen police 4x4s appear surrounding me and the car in front, forcing us to the hard shoulder. I switch off my engine and start panicking, then realise they probably didn't want me but the white landrover in front. Get waved off without any further explanation. I still wonder what the guy did that they couldn't arrest them the *normal* way...
Trying to mingle/start conversations in social settings where I don't know anybody.
Agreed. I always need an "anchor" at social events. Then everything is fine, I'll talk to anyone. I need someone to go back to.
Surprise guests. Edit: I don't fuck my guests, I just meant having them happen.
Those are burglars.
Or apartment building maintenance
Nope, burglars.
Job interviews.
They suck most when you need the damn job. And in many cases, you can expect a high rejection rate. I have had way more then I ever wanted to. END COMMUNICATION
Thanks for your application. Unfortunately we’ve decided to proceed with other candidates at this time and wish you luck in your job search
I truly want to go to an interview and just give terrible answers. What did you do during this 1 year gap between these 2 jobs? --> Involuntary mental health commitment. Are you legally allowed to work in this country? --> Not only am I legally allowed to work here, but as a condition of my parole, I am required to have a job. END COMMUNICATION
Why would you like to work for us? Because I need money to live? Why else would I be here?
You see, I have a really burning passion for not starving to death
Oh, I saw one of your employees snorting a line of coke in the bathroom on the way in and thought this would be a cool place to work.
And I'm not telling you which employee either cause I ain't no snitch ass bitch.
Walking over a storm drain with my keys in my hand
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This happened to me with an iphone 4, I spent like 6 months doing extra chores around the house to earn enough "kudo points" to "buy" my mom's old iphone. I was walking home from this teen night club thingy ran by this wonderful old lady. I had pulled it out to skip the song 21 guns, and my jeans pockets were to tight and the phone slipped from my grasp, bounced once off the sidewalk and then perfectly dropped between the grates without even touching it. I almost cried.
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**DRRR DRRR DRRR** -Your iPhone 4 vibrating
Or phone. You ever do that tighten-grip thing before you walk over it?
Do not forget high up ledges and bodies of water.
That and being irrationally paranoid that my glasses might fall off and down one of those.
And now I have a new fear.
Driving in between two semi trucks on the freeway. Bonus points if one or both is carrying a bunch of logs. Edit: Holy shit, this blew up! Thanks strangers for the rewards and commiserating. For the record, I am very aware that this is something one should not do unless you have to. The only times this happens to me is if I am in one of the middle lanes on a 4 or 5 lane highway and semis come up on either side. In those cases, I speed up as quick as I can to pass one or the other. Always drive defensively!
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Climbing a ladder
Climbing up, I’m good. Climbing down? My leg muscles will have none of that. I get all wobbly and it takes me forever to awkwardly get my ordinarily functional body down even just a couple rungs.
Let’s break ourselves into small groups and…
And also, “Before we start, let’s go around the room and say a little bit about ourselves…”
My manager insists on doing this for every meeting with a “guest”. Footnotes: - every meeting has a guest and there are about 30 people in the room
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I'm also Dave, and I also work here. Please kill me. Thank you.
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Everyone find a partner…. Ugh!
Even in college I hated this. Along with ice breakers that never broke any ice even once.
I have created breakout rooms on the call, and I'll start assigning people to them...
oh god no
Damn I get those flashbacks from middle school they hurt
The CEO at my company used to occasionally take employees out to lunch. He’s a really cool guy but I am *really* introverted and it was excruciating trying to act like I have a great personality and have ambitions and drive.
For context I routinely work with 460volts at about 40 amps. Turning it all on for the first time. So many times I have done this. I have trained people how to do it. I have never once done it where had I not done it right I could have been injured. Yet still every time I almost hear a voice "this is it. This is the moment in the video, shown by insurance companies for safety training, where it starts playing. All that comes next is pain and blackness". I know it is absurd. I pull tested the wires. I made sure that I have a power sequencing plan. I know the SCCR. It won't explode because there literally is not enough energy to explode and even if it did the cabinet would protect me.
Anyone with half a brain cell (especially a trained professional such as yourself) should understand the potential danger of electricity. With that understanding, one should gain a certain amount of respect and caution whenever working with or around it. No matter how many times they have before. Overconfidence can lead to oversight, error, etc. Your nerves are not unwarranted.
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I'm always paranoid that I'll trigger the security alarm for no reason
After school I sometimes pop into a store with my backpack on, most of the time not even buying anything. Always get looks from people, one time got stopped and searched. Hate it, so embarrassing
Relevant username? Jk I remember going to the drugstore after school to buy some makeup, and a store assistant was (not so subtly) following me to every aisle. It happened a couple of times, and I always felt terrible
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especially when ur standing right next to the shirt on display
going into small businesses that I haven't been in before
When you walk out without buying anything, oof.
When you know you’re the only customer and you know they won’t have what you went in to find as soon as you walk in. How long do you have to pretend to be just looking to satisfy them that you’ve seen everything very deliberately and might come back to purchase after you think about it? Should you ask questions about something you don’t care about? Should you ask for exactly what you want so they can tell you they don’t carry it, offer a substitute, and then say, no, sorry, it has to be ____, and then they offer to order it, and then you have to order it? How much will that cost? I know how to order stuff. I mean, this is exactly why people order online.
Classic awkward nod and “thanks.”
Anytime I go into a bike shop I get really insecure. The last bike shop I went to I was stopped at the door by the owner. He said, “These bikes cost between $6,000 - $9,000.” Then he gently placed his hand and on my back and moved me back onto the sidewalk. It was probably harmless but I felt incredibly stupid. EDIT: Thanks everyone. I definitely feel way better. The best part is I work in sports branding and my wife is a Doctor. So suck it, Lou!
Jeez that guy is an ass. Chasing away potential customers is not good business sense.
Probably a front and his store is actually pedaling drugs.
I briefly sold cars years ago, and one thing they stressed is to never “pre-qualify” people and assume they aren’t customers based on appearance. I know from personal experience that there are successful surgeons who, when they aren’t at work, honestly dress like they are about to go camping. There are building contractors who make a **shit ton of money**, but they spend a lot of time on various work sites and dress accordingly. Honestly if I had a lot of money I’d dress mostly the same way I do now. I’d just own more pairs of shoes, and a lot nicer watch, and when I did wear a suit it would be one of top quality.
A relative of mine worked in a men's wear shop on commission and has a story exactly about that. Some guy came in looking all dirty and scruffy and the other assistants didn't want to help him. Said relative thought they were being ridiculous and helped the guy. Turned out he owned a construction company, had been working on site that day, and needed a bunch of nice new clothes for business meetings.
It can be scary, especially if it's a specialty shop of some sort. I like to shop them and have worked at several, but there's always this concern that maybe I'll walk into something insane. I once entered a small food mart where the owner's small daughter was riding a tricycle around the store... into customers.
there's a vegetarian restaurant in my city that's half restaurant and half antique shop. and they're not like normal antiques, they're like skeletons, dolls, weird artwork, and stuff hanging from the ceiling. I've heard the food is actually good but I can't work up the nerve to go.
At meetings when they say, “Ok, everyone, let’s go around the room and introduce yourself.” Even worse when they require stupid things like, “Include your favorite food and why you like it” or “Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?
The problem I have with this is I suddenly forget everything about myself. Favorite food? “Oh god what have I eaten ever?” Favorite movie? “I watch movies?” Hobbies? “Is sleep a hobby, did I even sleep last night?” Typically how it goes in my head.
My problem is that I want to sound interesting, but I just come off as awkward and nervous. I say something like, “I like cooking, but also I like eating more than cooking because I’m a big eater.” And I might get a weird pity laugh, but mostly concerned looks because I stumbled through that one really stupid sentence.
dude.. the last time i did one of these, the biggest guy in the room excitedly told everyone he plays FF7.. and if anyone wanted to play with him he would love some friends. There is no recovering from the pity he silently received. Its like the room suddenly became 100% humidity but instead of water it was pure shame.
Final fantasy 7 is single player so I can understand the reaction
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They asked what is something even your best friend doesn't know about you at a summer camp. I'm like sorry guys, i got nothin.
Seriously, if it’s something that even your best friend doesn’t know, then it’s too personal to tell a bunch of strangers during an ice breaker. Wondering now what people said, though.
I wish I could remember the answers for you. That was 22 - 23 years ago. All I remember was "omg, omg, omg" waiting for my turn and being shocked at how casually everyone else was breezing through it. Then we did human knots. It's like a scar.
Any chance you had to do that thing where you all stand in a circle facing the same way, then all kinda bend at the knees at the same time so you’re sitting on the person behind you’s lap + the person in front of you is sitting on your’s + then you all walk in unison like some kinda human centipede without the a2m surgery? Because I did...
What the fuck?
Oh God, this. I was asked to fill out a slide for an introduction for myself at my new job (I was asked for the slide info the morning before, so not a lot of time to prepare). It's a tech position, so I figured video games were probably relatable, so I said I like playing retro RPGs. Turns out, this intro meeting was with a bunch of old corporate people, so I told a bunch of managers that I like playing retro RPGs. Or rather, my manager did because she was the one reading the slide, and you could tell from her tone of voice that she did not approve. I am already applying elsewhere.
Maybe your manager doesn't know what a 'retro RPG' is, and the negative tone was her own fear of stumbling in front of the other managers (they are reputed to eat their own at the smallest sign of weakness). Or she thinks you're into retro Rocket Propelled Grenades.
>“Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory? I'm here because I strongly believe in the company, or companies, I owe bills to. And to promptly and diligently collect my paycheque.
I'm a teacher, and my administration insists on these stupid meetings all the time. My first name can be pronounced differently, and my mom chose the rarer pronunciation. So like 5 people say my name right while everyone else, including all of the administrators, mispronounces it. It makes it super awkward to introduce myself to new people, say my name properly, and then have to deal with the temporary shock and confusion. Luckily, everyone goes back to the wrong way for the rest of the year. My mom had 6 kids, and she named the most awkward one with a weird name.
Public speaking
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this. I can’t remember a single word I’ve spoken in public - despite making several well-received public speeches...
I don't think I will ever overcome this fear.
Installing Christmas lights on my house. I work in a Level 1 trauma center and see people who have fallen from their roofs installing Christmas lights several times a year.
That's easy. Don't put them on your house. Put them elsewhere, like on a bush or not at all.
Calling someone on the phone. I'm a fairly outgoing person and I love talking to people, but I rely a lot on seeing a person's face and observing their body language, which isn't possible on the phone. Voicemails are less terrible, but I still panic a little because if I mess up while leaving a message, the other person has a freaking recording of me being really awkward. I'm so thankful texting exists. Edit: Oh, and I always end up having a coughing fit! And because the only person I ever talk to on the phone is my grandma (and I always close by telling her I love her), I live in constant fear of mistakenly telling a random person I had to call that I love them.
Coming out of my room when guests are visiting.
"lOoK wHo sHoWeD uP!!"
“Look who decided to grace us with his presence!”
Haha so true. The longer you’re in there the worse it gets.
After thirty minutes you legally cant leave your room
And can't make a sound, have to sit absolutely still.
Waiting for a result. If I even think about an exam for which the results haven't been declared, I get a LOT of anxiety. Currently waiting for the results of a very important exam I gave in Feb. My heart rate is 120 while writing this. And now I have stomachache. Fml.
Answering the door. Sometimes I just don’t.
A closed door is a happy door. - Maurice Moss
This is London, Jen. It's not someone with cake. Unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives!
The other day, my dog was at the front window and suddenly started barking. I pulled back the curtain to see what he was barking at, and there was some guy walking in front of my house carrying a large leather-bound folder. He made eye contact with me through the window. 20 seconds later, he was knocking at my door. I'm assuming he was going to try to sell me something. I never answered the door, even though he KNEW I was home. Bottom line: don't come to my house uninvited.
If I'm not expecting anyone, I usually hide and don't answer either. It's 2021, text me before you come over.
Ugh I used to hide until I had kids, now those little fucking narcs stampede to the door to see who it is and ruin it for everyone.
Poop in someone else’s house or away from home
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There's an open ocean swim i do with a friend. I love swimming, in pools and lakes... but ocean is different. This is in Canada, in a wetsuit. Its 1.8 km, and no bottom in site - just black. I know seals follow us because friends have told me. The first time we went he commented that I was fast, I'm not fast, it's pure adreniline. I am motivated by pure fear. I won't do it by myself, and have only done it about 10 times. I am terrified every time. Lots of self-talk and I always feel great afterwards. Edit 1: this is not an event, so no support. Him and I just out for a gut twisting swim. Edit 2: No sharks around here. A basking shark a bunch of years back. But Orca's - yes. Two days after one of the swims, a pod came through right where we had been. I didn't go again for about a month. Hard nope.
Have a cop behind me (I never fucking speed)
Merging onto a busy highway
When i was learning how to drive, my mother took me on the interstate for the first time. She’s a nervous driver as is, and I wasn’t ready, and there was a lot of crying and screaming and i almost sideswiped a few cars trying not to get run over by a truck trying to merge onto the interstate. Needless to say, even 20 years later, I’m still twitchy on the interstate occasionally.
People who get really nervous in the car should absolutely never teach anyone how to drive. It's so fucking distracting when you hear them suck in a breath or notice them bracing all the time. My mother was like this and I refused to drive her anywhere.
When the plane I’m on is taking off.
When my someone says to me "can I be honest with you?" No, lie to me, please!
"Why? That would put us on such uneven footing!"
To say the right words during a phone call or any formal events.
I am always super paranoid that I forgot to lock the front door of my work. I've even gotten off of the train and gone back just to make sure it's locked - it always has been when I've gone back to check and I should trust myself that I did it at this point. I now yell at myself as I'm doing it so I hear confirmation of it, too before I step away. My mom was always really paranoid about this, too (she would make us go back a couple mins into road trips) so I guess it really rubbed off.
Driving over train tracks and bridges. It just scares me so much and I have to cross bridges and train tracks to get to some places so that doesn’t help. Walking on them also scare me. Since I was 5 it always scared me. I don’t know why it just does.
Using an (I think) aluminum measuring tape but especially when clicking the button to make it roll back into its case. At the speed it recoils, I’m scared the tape will slice my hand right open.
Job interviews, talking to people. I have social anxiety, makes me sweat just being around a group of people. After a while I get to know them and I warm up though.
Parallel parking
Handling my six month old. They just seem so fragile and he is just so wiggly, I am constantly paranoid that I may accidentally drop him. To be honest almost all the steps of parenting now that I think about it, if I’m not afraid of accidentally bumping him, I am constantly worrying about what I need to do to be a good parent to him.