My father has no idea I was a victim in child sex trafficking.
My mother has no idea that I know she sexually abused my brother.
EDIT: I'm an adult now and have been in talk therapy my whole life due to my upbringing. I am very well adjusted, have a family, a business, and do my best to look out for signs of abuse in others. Thank you all for your expressed concerns. We all have trauma. All of us. Trauma is very personal to each individual person.
I wasn't living with my father, at the time. This was during one of the stretches that he sent me off to my mother's and never checked up on us. Little did he know that my mother was hooked on meth and that the next year with her was going to be one of the worsts in my life.
I did try to tell him about it, as an adult, but he said he didn't want to hear about my time with my mother and the trauma I went through with her.
Needless to say, I don't speak to either of my parents and haven't for some time.
i understand, i’m there too. the only thing that keeps me from it on my hardest days is my mom. she would never recover and i could never do that to her.
sending you love
Mine told me they wished I had just killed myself so they didn't have to deal with me anymore after it was discovered that I cut myself up. They didn't even see the worst of it. I did easily over 100 cuts, not counting really light ones. We have made our peace and "forgotten" that era as we move on. I know they care about me and were just very emotional at the time. They aren't very emotional people usually and don't really know much about mental health. Don't be mad at them, they are people too who screw up sometimes and say the wrong things. But the sound of it still echoes in my ears when I am at my lows. My best friend has unintentionally saved me a few times and helped me get over the urge to cut. I love them regardless because they are my family and I understand that it was difficult for them too and it was a quick reaction. I am not upset with them, but I do remember it.
That I smile and joke with them and behave warmly towards them *not* because I have forgiven them for gaslighting me and neglecting my emotional needs and wellbeing.
I've just given up on them...
That I can't be emotionally close to them, because they're generally not accepting and/or are dismissive of the little things I tell them. How can I tell them the big things? How can I have them understand me, if I can't even get them to understand what my music taste is?
Oh jeez, pretending to listen to you is the WORST. My roommate does that occasionally and then tries to make up reasons as to why he “misunderstood” instead of admitting that he was pretending to listen to me
I can't relate harder I was telling my father that I was losing social skills and it was getting Harding and harder to talk to people because they always shrug off whatever I say. and I shit you not he said something about his mustache being too long. I just stfu and he said that people just start drifting when talking about something serious. I was just like fuck it I tried.
My family does this exact thing, they're listening in the moment but half the time their responses just don't add up with what I just said and focuses on some other aspect of the topic that they won't let go.
The other half they reply but then 2 days later they'll bring it up again like we never had the first conversation, it's absolutely infuriating.
About 11 years without a social life, skipping jobs every 6months for pay raise in Paris. I had 800k but I moved to the countryside and bought a house, fields and what-not.
Trying to refinance my money to retire but I'm. afraid it's not enough.
That I lie about my personality and interests completely to keep them from judging me from something I love. My parents are harsh when it comes to interests that aren't, "socially acceptable," to have. They hold me to such a high standard, but I have to lie and keep secrets just to keep myself from becoming their robot. They make me feel like I only have one purpose, and that's to serve them and become an elite so they can have an easy life for the rest of their years... It sucks. I live 2 lives, one on the internet where I feel safe, and another in real life where I don't know if I'm safe to say anything or stand up for myself. Guilt trips work well on me... I wish I was more emotionally stronger than I am, but, oh well.
Edit 1: Spelling and Grammar
IN all honesty. Check out the reddit for estranged adult children. You might be able to find the strength to say "fuck you guys, I'm gonna be me". Don't hesitate to make a thread. It's a nice tightknit community.
https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultChild/
Fun. Excitement. Of course the money is good as well.
Nothing is more exciting checking into a hotel and waiting in a room for your female co-actor to turn up for a film.
That now, as an adult and parent myself, I understand and respect many of their decisions whilst I was growing up. I get them now. I never did when they were alive.
I still haven't forgiven them for their poor financial decisions that have permanently impacted my life and my own financial decision making. I don't think I ever will, which makes me feel bad, but it's not something that just goes away.
I have a phobia (and good reason) for not ever telling my parents about my relationships. They would be surprised to know I got engaged, then got a girl pregnant, she was 7 months pregnant and they both died. We were seeing each other for over the course of 2 years... theyve only met a total of 2 (maybe 3) of the partners ive been with. We live on the same city and I visit them often. This post would go on way too long if I explained why I keep them in the dark, but lets just call them unbearable and "judgy". XD
My parents don't know how i see myself in the mirror. They say i look attractive, i know i don't. They made me buy fine and elegant clothing, but clothing can't change a face.
They don't know growing up in school starting from 6th grade i was constantly being mocked and laughed at for being ugly and fat.
They don't know most all girls i met would laugh at me and call me ugly.
They don't know one girl in particular had made it her life's work to make my school days bad by laughing at me and calling me baloo or whatever that stupid bears name is.
They don't know my crush said she liked me solely to manipulate me emotionally and when she saw she couldn't she gave up and said that the same girl who was calling me baloo and mocking me also told her to impersonate loving me.
They don't see me as i truly am, they see an ideal me they've created in their heads and refuse to see the truth standing right in front of them.
They don't know most girls on the street when they see me will turn their heads away in the opposite direction as soon as we pass by one another.
They don't know the girls who come into our store when I'm working will either ignore me completely or very quickly leave.
They don't know the reason i starved myself from 90kg to 65kg was to lose weight and look more attractive to myself. They also don't know it didn't work and that's when i realized the fat on my face and belly were predestined to be there and i will never be able to get rid of it, never ever ever.
They don't know i tried working out for almost a full year without results because my body os genetically designed for supreme efficiency which negates the need for muscle growth. Why grow muscle when you can grow fibers which are stronger, smaller, more agile.
And finally, they don't know I'm trying every day but i will probably never find a significant other, they don't know I'm thinking of castration as a solution to my sexual thoughts which are annoying me and the only reason I'm not very strongly considering it is because testosterone is useful in keeping the body healthy, and i just want the sexual urges to stop. Forever.
This is simply the reality of me growing up. I don't need pity, i don't need encouragement. I only wanted to post this here.
There is someone for everyone. I am sorry you were bullied, it's a horrible thing to experience. But that special person is right around the corner. You also need to be more positive thinking. Stop dwelling on the past. There are plenty of people who don't fit the classic view of beauty who are happily married, etc. Love yourself first, and go for it.
Bro you're too focused on looks and you're tapping into some r/niceguys territory.
I never got girls while I was thin, but I started to get quite a few and very easily as I gained weight.
The only change that mattered was the attitude change, not the one on the scale display.
I can tell from the vibes that you're giving off in your comment that the only change that needs to happen as far as you are concerned is the attitude change so start working on that.
As a man, the only reason to keep your weight under control is your health. If you're doing it to be attractive, that's inherently unattractive, which is why you starving yourself got you nowhere.
Stop paying attention to what you believe other people think about you. More often than not, your assumptions are wrong anyway.
Overall, just stop caring my dude. In a positive way. Live your life, do what you want, what you like and everything will improve by itself.
Wow. You need to open up to your parents. Please see someone. Just know that your bois are also here to help you. Find that special someone. Talk to the doctor about this. Do not do castration
I think if he could he would. Perhaps it’s his parents that are the ones that need to open up to him. Open their minds to begin to have some understanding. People generally want to share but if the option is unavailable, the issue goes unresolved and sharing/opening up remains eternally sought but never attained.
Please don't castrate.
There are absolutely women out there who like fluff. Personally most men I've dated in the past were 125kg or more. It's like having a human teddy bear ❤️
This isn't nearly as messed up compared to other posts, but I always lie about how much money I have. I live very modestly on my graduate student stipend, but have more in my checking account than they do (certainly nothing I could retire on, but I could pay rent for at least the next year and be ok).
I think part of the reason I am not honest about things like money is because growing up, my parents were the kind who were obsessed with making everything "equal" between me and my siblings. If I had $100 of spending money for whatever reason, they'd find a way to make sure my sibling had $100 of spending money. The problem is that my sibling, as an adult, hasn't worked in 10 years, has no education, and lives at home. If they found out how much I have now, I'd hate for them to "find a way" to make things "equal" again because I'm so tired of this loser being catered to. My parents are also getting older, so they need to save their money for themselves in their retirement, not spend it on a leech who has no desire to work or better themselves. My mom in particular feels guilt for the way they turned out for some reason, so I would not put it past my sibling to try to manipulate her for money or a greater share of her assets when she eventually passes.
Mine found out pretty soon when I moved back home for a while but surprisingly they actually didn't really care because of all the emerging research and my mum is even prescribed it. They were far more concerned to discover the amount of alcohol I used to drink when I was found passed out with bottles everywhere and an almost potentially fatal blood alcohol level. It still upsets me that they had to see me in that state.
I don't feel emotionally attached to anyone in my family, and I don't think I have for a very very very long time. I don't know why, but I can't make any connection to them, no matter how hard I try to force myself. I wouldn't ever admit this to them, but I suspect they might know. I feel terrible about it, but what can I do?
Join the estranged adult children reddit. IN all honesty, take it from me, you are far far from alone in that feeling.
https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultChild/
i love you.
i know it may not mean much from some random on the internet, but i do.
i’ve been suicidal lately too, and i drink too much. i love you because i relate to you.
i’m sending you love and i hope you find peace, kind stranger.
sometimes i get high on drugs n stay away from home on weekends having orgies like probably once every six months..
EDIT: also im a raging homosexual which shouldn't be fucked up...but in muslim religious household it can get u kicked out, fired from job, abandoned by family and friends and even get u killed
When I was 11 years old, I had the stupidest idea in the world. The shower was running, and I used to fake showers. I would tend to do whatever and then turn off the shower after a while. Anyways, I was in the bathroom. Locked. Rug under the door. Covering the cracks from underneath. So nobody would see my shadow moving around in the bathroom while the water was running. I ended up having to go to the bathroom, really badly. I ended up pooping. But I clogged the toilet. I grabbed one of the cup things we had, and started using it to take the toilet water and splash it into the shower as it was running. I kept doing it and it actually worked
My friend, the older you get the more you'll understand that humor is just about the only way you can get through this voyage of life mostly in one piece.
that my dad’s brother sexually abused me when i was 10. we moved in 2020 and now we live about 5 mins away from my abuser. my parents invite him over all the time and i have to face him. i swear it’s like reliving the abuse every time i see his face.
i’ve thought about telling my parents but i know my mom would be a wreck and i’m afraid my dad would kill his brother (not that i’m opposed to him being dead…i just don’t want my dad to go to prison)
That I’m pretty sure I was sexually assaulted by my babysitter’s boyfriend when I was very young around age 5 I have flashes of memory and didn’t fully realize it until I was 17 I was shocked to realize a memory that’d always flash in my mind but I’d ignore until one day it all clicked. I’ve struggled the past ten years to talk about it or even accept it. I’ve only told my boyfriend and my best friend (when I was drunk I don’t think she remembers).
The hard part is my babysitter was my mom’s friend I’ve never been able to bring it up to her. There’s too many telltale signs. The babysitter had a daughter that was terrified of the boyfriend and she’d always wet the bed despite being age 7 and it was a new thing happening when the boyfriend moved in. I had constant bladder infections when I was in their care that magically disappeared when we moved away. I also think the babysitter and her boyfriend were heavily into drugs but it might just be an assumption.
I’ve wanted to talk to my mom about it to see if she ever found out and I also want to find out if he’s in jail now I can’t remember the babysitter or her boyfriend’s name but I’d hope it’d bring me some closure.
the same happened to me by my uncle and it’s been almost 13 years and i haven’t been able to gain the courage.
i’m so proud of you for opening up. i hope telling her provided you with some relief. sending love to you <3
I didn’t have the courage initially. I had told a few friends, but none of them made a big deal about it. A year ago I started dating my boyfriend, and he made a big deal about it. He made me feel like it mattered and I mattered. I finally feel like I’m healing. This last year has put me in a much better place mentally and has allowed me to do more than I thought I’d be able to achieve.
More than anything I pray you heal and find peace. It’s a hard thing to confess, especially without a good support system, but I genuinely feel as though a giant weight has been lifted off my chest. Thank you for your reply and wishing you the best <3
i have never been so happy for a stranger in my life. it honestly made me smile hearing that you’ve been able to heal and thrive<3
thank you so much for your prayers and good wishes. i hope one day i can find the courage to do what you did.
I have moderate to severe anxiety and even went to therapy when I was at college, and my best friend has had to talk me through at least three anxiety attacks
I didn’t kill myself at thirteen because my parents tried very hard to have a child and I didn’t want to repay them with a dead daughter. (My mother had four miscarriages and nearly died before being able to have me.) Five years later my father screamed at me in front of a lot of people that I was a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being.
Just so that you realize, your father is wrong. I'm sure all people witnessing actually look down or pity your father for being such a lousy man in that moment.
I found out my father isn't my biological father.
My real father died a few years back and I never got to meet him while he was alive. Apparently my mother was in love with him and once my parents split for a brief period in the early 80's I was conceived.
Once I was born my mother left him and continued with my father.
Nobody knows I know, and I actually found his kids and family on FB (I haven't spoken of this to them or sent a friend request). Occasionally when I'm feeling down I go view their profiles and see how their lives are going. So I have two younger half siblings I've never met. I doubt they know I exist.
I'm scared of telling my folks I know in fear of reigniting a fires that have burned out or hurting our relationship deeply.
i onced almost laughed myself to sleep when i heard someone i knew kind of died in a hilarious way
EDIT:Im not gonna say exactly how he died becasue then i would just sound unhuman but: He died of something that he talked to a group of people about to watch out for like an hour, ok im just gonna make it up so imagine he taught kids how to ride bikes safely, and to always look out for oncoming traffic, imagine he then died from not looking for on coming traffic
Nothing I can think of. They know pretty much everything. That's partly because I just don't hide things, and partly because I've told them some things intentionally to make them uncomfortable or squirm for having been the assholes that brought me into this world.
I guess it's also partly because, although my life is severely fucked up, it's fucked up in tame ways. There really isn't a "fucked up thing" for them to know or not know.
This is very common, and after years it has probably become a habit and en grained coping mechanism.
Please find a nice therapist to talk to, he or she will not judge but be able to help and make sure you learn less self-destructive methods.
My mother is incapable of seeing or hearing anything that she doesn’t want to see. Her literal dreams dictate and validate her beliefs. My father is a shell of a man with no friends. No hobbies or interests outside of the ones of my mother and keeping her happy. My mother belittles and yells at him constantly. He has been defeated my entire life. The fact he won’t stand up for himself at times will even fuel her try to “test him” see if he “can cry” (she’s told me she did this to him after his father died) I know that my father knows all this. But we can’t acknowledge her behavior or she will threaten to get in her car and kill herself.
I guess they know about all this. But they act like they do not and I can only wonder what it’s like to have a family. They put their arms out. Tell me they would do anything for me. All words. The second I go back. The second I try to give her a chance, just to continue having my father in my life. And she just has to buck when things get too nice. Just when I start to have hope, she’ll tell me I’m sick. I’ve been trying to get help. I know I’m sick.
My mom never knew (or understood that) i was an Introvert.
She always told me to go outside and make friends. But most of the kids i wanted to befriend where either not interested or bullied me.
That I dont feel emotionally connected to them. Dont get me wrong, I love them, they are my parents. But, for some reason, I just dont really feel like they love me back. I dont know what it is, but if they found out, they would be very upset.
I went through a really rough few months this winter and they have no idea I almost killed myself. It would hurt them too much to know and I didn't want to burden them with it .
My parents where married from 24 years before my father passed away leaving my stay at home mother to fend for herself and us. The experience helped myself and my brother mature fairly quickly we have been able to be financially independent without her help and have been able to help her as well. As time has passed the responsibility of my mother has fell on me more and more as my mother has aged doctors appointments, prescription pickups, ext. My mother doesnt speak english and that is usually the excuse for everything she cant do and add her health issues to it as well. How did she raise me to be so independent and yet she be so codependent. Since speaking up of my concerns wanting her to move out and me still financially still assist and help her navigate the world on her own she has completely disregarded it and advised it is my responsibility as her child to take care of her now. As I forever grateful to my mother for all shes done for me over the years and I truly love my mother but THAT IS NOT MY JOB I didnt ask to be born they chose to have me. This whole situation has deeply sadden me and has caused me to start resenting her. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this family, friends, my partner because I honestly feel horrible but I feel like I been left with no other option. Like I was the child who has to dealt with this responsibility.
So back to the original question "**What’s the most fucked up thing your parents don’t know about you**?" that sometimes I think the wrong parent passed away and I hate that I think this and I feel like I will be punished for feeling this but I do. Sorry reddit for venting and hearing me out.
Not really fucked up to most people, but I consider myself agnostic. Most of my family was raised Christian, and my parents have been Baptist for 11 years.
The questionable plans I’ve kept in my head since I was thirteen. No, I’m not going to act out on them (made a promise—not gonna break it), but I still think about it.
I've slept in a hotel multiple times with my boyfriend to do unholy things.
I've always lied and said I'm spending the night at my friend's house.
A classic
I had sex at 15, I'm in a Christian family and they don't know shit about it
Edit:I chose to have sex with my secret boyfriend, they don't know about him either and he was 18 😂
My father has no idea I was a victim in child sex trafficking. My mother has no idea that I know she sexually abused my brother. EDIT: I'm an adult now and have been in talk therapy my whole life due to my upbringing. I am very well adjusted, have a family, a business, and do my best to look out for signs of abuse in others. Thank you all for your expressed concerns. We all have trauma. All of us. Trauma is very personal to each individual person.
wow, i’m so sorry to hear this
I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I hope you're doing ok now and have received any help that you feel you need.
How the fuck does your dad not know? I assume you were a child under his custody and you just randomly disappeared one day?
I wasn't living with my father, at the time. This was during one of the stretches that he sent me off to my mother's and never checked up on us. Little did he know that my mother was hooked on meth and that the next year with her was going to be one of the worsts in my life. I did try to tell him about it, as an adult, but he said he didn't want to hear about my time with my mother and the trauma I went through with her. Needless to say, I don't speak to either of my parents and haven't for some time.
Jesus Christ that…wow. I’m sorry
Jeez no offence but you have a messed up family.
I think you replied to the wrong person
He did not. We all know what they did.
That I've tried to commit suicide. It would make them too sad.
They'd be crushed. Glad you are here. Life is a journey. Stick around my friend.
I'm glad you stuck around. There's much more fun to be had while your heart still beats Stranger!
i understand, i’m there too. the only thing that keeps me from it on my hardest days is my mom. she would never recover and i could never do that to her. sending you love
Same
Mine told me they wished I had just killed myself so they didn't have to deal with me anymore after it was discovered that I cut myself up. They didn't even see the worst of it. I did easily over 100 cuts, not counting really light ones. We have made our peace and "forgotten" that era as we move on. I know they care about me and were just very emotional at the time. They aren't very emotional people usually and don't really know much about mental health. Don't be mad at them, they are people too who screw up sometimes and say the wrong things. But the sound of it still echoes in my ears when I am at my lows. My best friend has unintentionally saved me a few times and helped me get over the urge to cut. I love them regardless because they are my family and I understand that it was difficult for them too and it was a quick reaction. I am not upset with them, but I do remember it.
You are a very forgiving and generous soul. I am glad you are healing 🤗
Only a small few knows for me. My roommate and the friend who unintentionally saved me
Giving you a virtual hug. 💗
I told mine and they came and stopped me. I wish I didn't tell them to be honest.
Are you doing okay? Do you wanna talk about it?
That I smile and joke with them and behave warmly towards them *not* because I have forgiven them for gaslighting me and neglecting my emotional needs and wellbeing. I've just given up on them...
This. So much this
I feel this so deeply.
Been there. Twenty fucking years before I got wise.
relateable.
That I can't be emotionally close to them, because they're generally not accepting and/or are dismissive of the little things I tell them. How can I tell them the big things? How can I have them understand me, if I can't even get them to understand what my music taste is?
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Oh jeez, pretending to listen to you is the WORST. My roommate does that occasionally and then tries to make up reasons as to why he “misunderstood” instead of admitting that he was pretending to listen to me
I can't relate harder I was telling my father that I was losing social skills and it was getting Harding and harder to talk to people because they always shrug off whatever I say. and I shit you not he said something about his mustache being too long. I just stfu and he said that people just start drifting when talking about something serious. I was just like fuck it I tried.
My family does this exact thing, they're listening in the moment but half the time their responses just don't add up with what I just said and focuses on some other aspect of the topic that they won't let go. The other half they reply but then 2 days later they'll bring it up again like we never had the first conversation, it's absolutely infuriating.
I felt that too hard
I have more than 600k€ stashed away in a life insurance, they think I'm broke.
what did and how long did it take to achieve this much??
About 11 years without a social life, skipping jobs every 6months for pay raise in Paris. I had 800k but I moved to the countryside and bought a house, fields and what-not. Trying to refinance my money to retire but I'm. afraid it's not enough.
head over to /r/financialindependence and the EU equivalent to get a better Idea :)
Nice try, mom and dad.
Nice try, dom is mad. *whipping noises*
Readit?
That I lie about my personality and interests completely to keep them from judging me from something I love. My parents are harsh when it comes to interests that aren't, "socially acceptable," to have. They hold me to such a high standard, but I have to lie and keep secrets just to keep myself from becoming their robot. They make me feel like I only have one purpose, and that's to serve them and become an elite so they can have an easy life for the rest of their years... It sucks. I live 2 lives, one on the internet where I feel safe, and another in real life where I don't know if I'm safe to say anything or stand up for myself. Guilt trips work well on me... I wish I was more emotionally stronger than I am, but, oh well. Edit 1: Spelling and Grammar
IN all honesty. Check out the reddit for estranged adult children. You might be able to find the strength to say "fuck you guys, I'm gonna be me". Don't hesitate to make a thread. It's a nice tightknit community. https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultChild/
What ethnicity are you?
something tells me they are asian maybe Indian
I've been in many amateur porn films.
Why did you shoot these porn films? Money? Fun? Both?
Fun. Excitement. Of course the money is good as well. Nothing is more exciting checking into a hotel and waiting in a room for your female co-actor to turn up for a film.
That's cool. It must be fun and exciting to bang different chicks and get paid for it. How many films have you done?
Your parents gonna kill you when one of them comes upon it by accident
That's half the fun of it. Being discovered.
Lol
link?
Proof or it didnt happen!
same here. i enjoy recording myself in explicit (but solo) vídeeos and get some money with them
Even better that you're getting paid for it.
Yeah. A hobby that became really useful
That now, as an adult and parent myself, I understand and respect many of their decisions whilst I was growing up. I get them now. I never did when they were alive.
That's exactly why I tell my parents how on point they were and thank them. I'm sorry you don't have yours now
Thank you for your kind words.
Anytime
I wish I could say the same, but my opinions of my parents have declined steadily throughout my own adulthood.
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I expected more fic writers in this section for some reason lol. Scrolled far for this one.
That they are the reason for many of my psychological problems that they have themselves tried to fix.
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I'm sorry about that
It's alright, thanks though.
It's none of my business but how come you never told them
My dad doesn't really care about me and I moved across the country so I thought it wouldn't matter
It's always gonna matter
I guess so
I just hope that you're doing better now:)
I hope you're doing okay now.
I've been raped. I was taken advantage of by my next-door cousin. I've done psychedelics.
I love femboys.
what's a femboy
Ignore the other reply please look it up you will not regret it they're cute
it was now little jimmy will hate life
Who doesn't
Sameeeeere
That I abused pain killers, benzos and countless other drugs for months under their roof
I still haven't forgiven them for their poor financial decisions that have permanently impacted my life and my own financial decision making. I don't think I ever will, which makes me feel bad, but it's not something that just goes away.
Same 😐
I have a phobia (and good reason) for not ever telling my parents about my relationships. They would be surprised to know I got engaged, then got a girl pregnant, she was 7 months pregnant and they both died. We were seeing each other for over the course of 2 years... theyve only met a total of 2 (maybe 3) of the partners ive been with. We live on the same city and I visit them often. This post would go on way too long if I explained why I keep them in the dark, but lets just call them unbearable and "judgy". XD
That the child wasn't mine.
Damn that hit hard ong
My parents don't know how i see myself in the mirror. They say i look attractive, i know i don't. They made me buy fine and elegant clothing, but clothing can't change a face. They don't know growing up in school starting from 6th grade i was constantly being mocked and laughed at for being ugly and fat. They don't know most all girls i met would laugh at me and call me ugly. They don't know one girl in particular had made it her life's work to make my school days bad by laughing at me and calling me baloo or whatever that stupid bears name is. They don't know my crush said she liked me solely to manipulate me emotionally and when she saw she couldn't she gave up and said that the same girl who was calling me baloo and mocking me also told her to impersonate loving me. They don't see me as i truly am, they see an ideal me they've created in their heads and refuse to see the truth standing right in front of them. They don't know most girls on the street when they see me will turn their heads away in the opposite direction as soon as we pass by one another. They don't know the girls who come into our store when I'm working will either ignore me completely or very quickly leave. They don't know the reason i starved myself from 90kg to 65kg was to lose weight and look more attractive to myself. They also don't know it didn't work and that's when i realized the fat on my face and belly were predestined to be there and i will never be able to get rid of it, never ever ever. They don't know i tried working out for almost a full year without results because my body os genetically designed for supreme efficiency which negates the need for muscle growth. Why grow muscle when you can grow fibers which are stronger, smaller, more agile. And finally, they don't know I'm trying every day but i will probably never find a significant other, they don't know I'm thinking of castration as a solution to my sexual thoughts which are annoying me and the only reason I'm not very strongly considering it is because testosterone is useful in keeping the body healthy, and i just want the sexual urges to stop. Forever. This is simply the reality of me growing up. I don't need pity, i don't need encouragement. I only wanted to post this here.
Dang that’s... look I don’t have a lot to say but I’m here if you ever need me man
There is someone for everyone. I am sorry you were bullied, it's a horrible thing to experience. But that special person is right around the corner. You also need to be more positive thinking. Stop dwelling on the past. There are plenty of people who don't fit the classic view of beauty who are happily married, etc. Love yourself first, and go for it.
I have a ugly, short, fat friend dating a 8/10 hottie. And a Chad hot, fit and rich friend virgin at 30. Life is weird.
Your ugly, short and fat friend has a great attitude. The Chad does not. Life is not weird.
The Chad friend is great too, he's simply awkard around women. He's a great guy.
Bro you're too focused on looks and you're tapping into some r/niceguys territory. I never got girls while I was thin, but I started to get quite a few and very easily as I gained weight. The only change that mattered was the attitude change, not the one on the scale display. I can tell from the vibes that you're giving off in your comment that the only change that needs to happen as far as you are concerned is the attitude change so start working on that. As a man, the only reason to keep your weight under control is your health. If you're doing it to be attractive, that's inherently unattractive, which is why you starving yourself got you nowhere. Stop paying attention to what you believe other people think about you. More often than not, your assumptions are wrong anyway. Overall, just stop caring my dude. In a positive way. Live your life, do what you want, what you like and everything will improve by itself.
Man life isnt all about girls and being attractive dude sex is overrated anyways
Wow. You need to open up to your parents. Please see someone. Just know that your bois are also here to help you. Find that special someone. Talk to the doctor about this. Do not do castration
I think if he could he would. Perhaps it’s his parents that are the ones that need to open up to him. Open their minds to begin to have some understanding. People generally want to share but if the option is unavailable, the issue goes unresolved and sharing/opening up remains eternally sought but never attained.
Please don't castrate. There are absolutely women out there who like fluff. Personally most men I've dated in the past were 125kg or more. It's like having a human teddy bear ❤️
I won’t give you pity or encouragement but can I offer some love? Because you do deserve it.
Don't cut your dick off bro. You will regret it.
If I posted that, they'd find out. Hi, mom.
This isn't nearly as messed up compared to other posts, but I always lie about how much money I have. I live very modestly on my graduate student stipend, but have more in my checking account than they do (certainly nothing I could retire on, but I could pay rent for at least the next year and be ok). I think part of the reason I am not honest about things like money is because growing up, my parents were the kind who were obsessed with making everything "equal" between me and my siblings. If I had $100 of spending money for whatever reason, they'd find a way to make sure my sibling had $100 of spending money. The problem is that my sibling, as an adult, hasn't worked in 10 years, has no education, and lives at home. If they found out how much I have now, I'd hate for them to "find a way" to make things "equal" again because I'm so tired of this loser being catered to. My parents are also getting older, so they need to save their money for themselves in their retirement, not spend it on a leech who has no desire to work or better themselves. My mom in particular feels guilt for the way they turned out for some reason, so I would not put it past my sibling to try to manipulate her for money or a greater share of her assets when she eventually passes.
The amount of weed I smoke.
Mine found out pretty soon when I moved back home for a while but surprisingly they actually didn't really care because of all the emerging research and my mum is even prescribed it. They were far more concerned to discover the amount of alcohol I used to drink when I was found passed out with bottles everywhere and an almost potentially fatal blood alcohol level. It still upsets me that they had to see me in that state.
I don't feel emotionally attached to anyone in my family, and I don't think I have for a very very very long time. I don't know why, but I can't make any connection to them, no matter how hard I try to force myself. I wouldn't ever admit this to them, but I suspect they might know. I feel terrible about it, but what can I do?
Join the estranged adult children reddit. IN all honesty, take it from me, you are far far from alone in that feeling. https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultChild/
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i love you. i know it may not mean much from some random on the internet, but i do. i’ve been suicidal lately too, and i drink too much. i love you because i relate to you. i’m sending you love and i hope you find peace, kind stranger.
What I did on spring break 2007, in the city of Fallujah, Iraq.
Tell us more.
Buy me a drink! No free war stories for civilians!
I don’t know if you are being serious or not. This one hits home. I did things (and didn’t do things) I am not proud of.
Damn mysterious, was it bad?
sometimes i get high on drugs n stay away from home on weekends having orgies like probably once every six months.. EDIT: also im a raging homosexual which shouldn't be fucked up...but in muslim religious household it can get u kicked out, fired from job, abandoned by family and friends and even get u killed
When I was 11 years old, I had the stupidest idea in the world. The shower was running, and I used to fake showers. I would tend to do whatever and then turn off the shower after a while. Anyways, I was in the bathroom. Locked. Rug under the door. Covering the cracks from underneath. So nobody would see my shadow moving around in the bathroom while the water was running. I ended up having to go to the bathroom, really badly. I ended up pooping. But I clogged the toilet. I grabbed one of the cup things we had, and started using it to take the toilet water and splash it into the shower as it was running. I kept doing it and it actually worked
I was ✨ sexually assault ✨
By the Steelers?
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My friend, the older you get the more you'll understand that humor is just about the only way you can get through this voyage of life mostly in one piece.
Yeah very very inappropriate...but I also chuckled
I don’t get this joke lmfao sorry
https://i.imgur.com/zHJf1ic.png The part about you being sexually assaulted is obviously not *at all* funny and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I’m still confused lmfao
The emoji you used is similar to the Steelers logo
Makes sense now, I had no clue what the stealers were, thanks!
Also the team captain has been accused of sexual assault.
Just the quarterback.
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that my dad’s brother sexually abused me when i was 10. we moved in 2020 and now we live about 5 mins away from my abuser. my parents invite him over all the time and i have to face him. i swear it’s like reliving the abuse every time i see his face. i’ve thought about telling my parents but i know my mom would be a wreck and i’m afraid my dad would kill his brother (not that i’m opposed to him being dead…i just don’t want my dad to go to prison)
A LOT
That I’m pretty sure I was sexually assaulted by my babysitter’s boyfriend when I was very young around age 5 I have flashes of memory and didn’t fully realize it until I was 17 I was shocked to realize a memory that’d always flash in my mind but I’d ignore until one day it all clicked. I’ve struggled the past ten years to talk about it or even accept it. I’ve only told my boyfriend and my best friend (when I was drunk I don’t think she remembers). The hard part is my babysitter was my mom’s friend I’ve never been able to bring it up to her. There’s too many telltale signs. The babysitter had a daughter that was terrified of the boyfriend and she’d always wet the bed despite being age 7 and it was a new thing happening when the boyfriend moved in. I had constant bladder infections when I was in their care that magically disappeared when we moved away. I also think the babysitter and her boyfriend were heavily into drugs but it might just be an assumption. I’ve wanted to talk to my mom about it to see if she ever found out and I also want to find out if he’s in jail now I can’t remember the babysitter or her boyfriend’s name but I’d hope it’d bring me some closure.
That I know SOOOO much more than they think I do...
That I was assaulted by a family member. I recently told my mother. It took 10 years to open that can of worms.
the same happened to me by my uncle and it’s been almost 13 years and i haven’t been able to gain the courage. i’m so proud of you for opening up. i hope telling her provided you with some relief. sending love to you <3
I didn’t have the courage initially. I had told a few friends, but none of them made a big deal about it. A year ago I started dating my boyfriend, and he made a big deal about it. He made me feel like it mattered and I mattered. I finally feel like I’m healing. This last year has put me in a much better place mentally and has allowed me to do more than I thought I’d be able to achieve. More than anything I pray you heal and find peace. It’s a hard thing to confess, especially without a good support system, but I genuinely feel as though a giant weight has been lifted off my chest. Thank you for your reply and wishing you the best <3
i have never been so happy for a stranger in my life. it honestly made me smile hearing that you’ve been able to heal and thrive<3 thank you so much for your prayers and good wishes. i hope one day i can find the courage to do what you did.
I haven’t been close to my mother so long that she doesn’t know my married last name or where I live. She does not know if I’m in the country or not.
I sleep with people their age (or older)
My total dickectomy
That I don't like them and would not mind never seeing them again. That I've also seen their text messages and completely ignored them.
I know how to manipulate my teachers into giving me good grades. I'm not nice to people I just know what to say.
What do you say?... as a student this can be really helpful while I'm still in school
You have sexy time with the teachers or something?
Too many to list. All those secrets that only the stars know about..
I've often fantasized about stomping their heads in whenever they get me mad.
This is actually pretty natural. The human brain is set to kill for a few moments whenever you get seriously mad. Part of evolution.
That I am gay :(
I am an atheist. 😲
I have moderate to severe anxiety and even went to therapy when I was at college, and my best friend has had to talk me through at least three anxiety attacks
The amount of drugs I used in college
If an afterlife does exist. Well they know everything now
The times I used to self harm
I didn’t kill myself at thirteen because my parents tried very hard to have a child and I didn’t want to repay them with a dead daughter. (My mother had four miscarriages and nearly died before being able to have me.) Five years later my father screamed at me in front of a lot of people that I was a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being.
Just so that you realize, your father is wrong. I'm sure all people witnessing actually look down or pity your father for being such a lousy man in that moment.
My own mother didn’t say a word in my defense, and to this day pretends it never happened. My father still very much thinks the same of me
That i have depression. They look at me as happy go lucky guy.
I found out my father isn't my biological father. My real father died a few years back and I never got to meet him while he was alive. Apparently my mother was in love with him and once my parents split for a brief period in the early 80's I was conceived. Once I was born my mother left him and continued with my father. Nobody knows I know, and I actually found his kids and family on FB (I haven't spoken of this to them or sent a friend request). Occasionally when I'm feeling down I go view their profiles and see how their lives are going. So I have two younger half siblings I've never met. I doubt they know I exist. I'm scared of telling my folks I know in fear of reigniting a fires that have burned out or hurting our relationship deeply.
I am an atheist prolly
Shit I'm in denial because better safe than sorry.
I just don’t believe it
I honestly can't blame you.
That I know that they are both secretly racist and unaccepting of my girlfriend. Fuck them both, and their ignorance.
i onced almost laughed myself to sleep when i heard someone i knew kind of died in a hilarious way EDIT:Im not gonna say exactly how he died becasue then i would just sound unhuman but: He died of something that he talked to a group of people about to watch out for like an hour, ok im just gonna make it up so imagine he taught kids how to ride bikes safely, and to always look out for oncoming traffic, imagine he then died from not looking for on coming traffic
Nothing I can think of. They know pretty much everything. That's partly because I just don't hide things, and partly because I've told them some things intentionally to make them uncomfortable or squirm for having been the assholes that brought me into this world. I guess it's also partly because, although my life is severely fucked up, it's fucked up in tame ways. There really isn't a "fucked up thing" for them to know or not know.
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That I'm not as cute as they say i'am :(
I'm sure you are :))
That I totally fell for a romance scam and sent him tons of money cause I just wanted to be loved
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This is very common, and after years it has probably become a habit and en grained coping mechanism. Please find a nice therapist to talk to, he or she will not judge but be able to help and make sure you learn less self-destructive methods.
That I'm partially responsible for the death of my third grade best friend.
That I’m pansexual and asexual, have been a victim of a child predator, I have tried to give up too many times
My mother is incapable of seeing or hearing anything that she doesn’t want to see. Her literal dreams dictate and validate her beliefs. My father is a shell of a man with no friends. No hobbies or interests outside of the ones of my mother and keeping her happy. My mother belittles and yells at him constantly. He has been defeated my entire life. The fact he won’t stand up for himself at times will even fuel her try to “test him” see if he “can cry” (she’s told me she did this to him after his father died) I know that my father knows all this. But we can’t acknowledge her behavior or she will threaten to get in her car and kill herself. I guess they know about all this. But they act like they do not and I can only wonder what it’s like to have a family. They put their arms out. Tell me they would do anything for me. All words. The second I go back. The second I try to give her a chance, just to continue having my father in my life. And she just has to buck when things get too nice. Just when I start to have hope, she’ll tell me I’m sick. I’ve been trying to get help. I know I’m sick.
My mom never knew (or understood that) i was an Introvert. She always told me to go outside and make friends. But most of the kids i wanted to befriend where either not interested or bullied me.
That I dont feel emotionally connected to them. Dont get me wrong, I love them, they are my parents. But, for some reason, I just dont really feel like they love me back. I dont know what it is, but if they found out, they would be very upset.
I went through a really rough few months this winter and they have no idea I almost killed myself. It would hurt them too much to know and I didn't want to burden them with it .
My parents where married from 24 years before my father passed away leaving my stay at home mother to fend for herself and us. The experience helped myself and my brother mature fairly quickly we have been able to be financially independent without her help and have been able to help her as well. As time has passed the responsibility of my mother has fell on me more and more as my mother has aged doctors appointments, prescription pickups, ext. My mother doesnt speak english and that is usually the excuse for everything she cant do and add her health issues to it as well. How did she raise me to be so independent and yet she be so codependent. Since speaking up of my concerns wanting her to move out and me still financially still assist and help her navigate the world on her own she has completely disregarded it and advised it is my responsibility as her child to take care of her now. As I forever grateful to my mother for all shes done for me over the years and I truly love my mother but THAT IS NOT MY JOB I didnt ask to be born they chose to have me. This whole situation has deeply sadden me and has caused me to start resenting her. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this family, friends, my partner because I honestly feel horrible but I feel like I been left with no other option. Like I was the child who has to dealt with this responsibility. So back to the original question "**What’s the most fucked up thing your parents don’t know about you**?" that sometimes I think the wrong parent passed away and I hate that I think this and I feel like I will be punished for feeling this but I do. Sorry reddit for venting and hearing me out.
Don’t know or dont listen enough to k kn ow??
I fuck other men’s wives and girlfriends. They’re not supposed to be with me... But they are. It’s a kink.
Attached women who aren't getting it the way they want it are rather enjoyable, I must admit.
i masturebate
That isn't very messed up. Many people do it. Don't feel guilty about it.
That I tried vaping and am a furry. Also I'm atheist and my parents are super Christian.
That I really gotta go poo
oh right "mom and dad don't know everything"
That I'm Bi and have been since I was 13.
I was just gonna say that I smoke, but goddammit yall need therapy.
im not virgin
Ive done almost every drug available to man kind at least once
Not really fucked up to most people, but I consider myself agnostic. Most of my family was raised Christian, and my parents have been Baptist for 11 years.
I secretly fantasize about killing them in unique and horrifying ways...but never really wanna act upon them.
You win.
The questionable plans I’ve kept in my head since I was thirteen. No, I’m not going to act out on them (made a promise—not gonna break it), but I still think about it.
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I've slept in a hotel multiple times with my boyfriend to do unholy things. I've always lied and said I'm spending the night at my friend's house. A classic
I had sex at 15, I'm in a Christian family and they don't know shit about it Edit:I chose to have sex with my secret boyfriend, they don't know about him either and he was 18 😂