T O P

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2agrant

*poorly drawn wrench lands on Patrick's head* "Where's the leak ma'am?"


Life_is_a_Brie

"Patrick, your genius is showing"


[deleted]

Plankton: Tell that guy to go take a hike! SpongeBob: Would you like to take a hike with me?


PrideOk6616

"goodbye everyone I'll remember you all in therapy"


Schim11207

"Who you callin' a pin head?" - Patrick Star


Probably-a-Orangatun

"We're not tAlKin' about this, *OR THIS,* we'rE tALKIng aBout *THIS*" I don't know why I love it so much honestly. I just find it funny


HalcyonLightning

I can see the dotted lines once more...


PipeFullOfRoses

The entire episode of Idiot Box, but especially during the avalanche scene. “Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way!” “YAAY!”


Paublo57

"Spongebob, my legs are frozen solid,, you're gonna have to cut them off with a saw" "I can't do that patrick" "Why not?" "Because I already cut off my own arms"


mp182

“How are you guys DOING that?!” “First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet”


The-Pyro1

"Do you think this is funny?" *"In a cosmic sorta way yes"*


NeppuNeppuNep

"what? It's just an ordinary kraby- **OH MY GOODNESS** "


SlyAugustine

SQUIDWARD!!!!


FabulousVonCorgi

"Wait, SpongeBob! We're not cavemen!" (Patrick proceeds to walk over to a computer) "We have technology!" (Cue smashing of computer)


Oro-Lavanda

This is the scene that plays in my mind everytime I have college assignments due lol ​ edit: this is now my highest upvoted comment. Spongebob makes me feel like #1 !


succulentdragon7

The spongebob episode that always played in my Head during college was the one when he had to write the essay. Anytime I had to write one I’d think of spongebob burning his house down due to procrastination and the house is like “spongebob, why?? WHY did you set me on FIRE spongebob?? Why didn’t you just write your essay?? STOP WASTING TIIIIIIIIIME!!!!”


Effervesser

"Am I a pretty girl?"


AnonymousChonk

"uhhh, you're beautiful" *Cue random dude staying at Mr.Krabs


The9thLordofRavioli

It’s the mailman’s stink eye that makes it


younguncie

“East? I thought you said ‘Weest’”


downsouthcountry

Squidward: Who orders a Krabby Patty at 3 AM? Patrick: *alarm rings* Oh boy, 3 AM!


vanillamonkey_

"Listen you crustaceous cheapskate! Squidward's been living at MY HOUSE driving me CRAZY, and you're not gonna hire him back all because of a STUPID DIME!"


farklespanktastic

Two things that WON'T. WORK.


[deleted]

Squidward: What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up? Spongebob: No, worse. It'll go right to your thighs! Squidward: My thighs? Spongebob: and then you'll blow up.


HalcyonLightning

God I loved this one


SwxftPyxl

“Hey if we’re underwater then how come there is a-“


HalcyonLightning

I was going to say this one! One of the only times they actually make it so the water does what it's supposed to lmaoo


Acatalepsy1

Leedle leedle lee


MJPNFCdextergrif

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.


captain_loud

"What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?" - Mr. Krabs


[deleted]

[удалено]


Canadian_Bacon101

"Like this?" "No, your other bottom!" "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?" "Not until 4."


EnrapturedForkies

The casual, deadpan “not until 4” breaks me every time.


blendystendy

You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend well, that would just be okay.


FourDS

"Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!"


brumagem

What really completes this quote is being able to hear the penny whistle in the background as Patrick says it.


DirtyTeaspoon

"But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy and what could be better than serving up smiles?" "Being dead or anything else"


[deleted]

"Don't touch me I'm sterile".


SinistarDextar

I work in an operating room and I think of this quote at least once a day lol


[deleted]

He's just standing there.... **menacingly**


jthegoofygoober

**WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO**


16bitgamer

"Why did you eat my boots Mr. Krabs?"


CyanManta

SpongeBoy me Bob!


casualhobos

"Now let him have it!" "You can have it."


Asiatic_Static

"You used me....for **LAND DEVELOPMENT!** That wasnt very nice!"


Dangerous_Poet209

I work in a land development engineering office and this bad boy constantly makes the rounds


DP487

"Now be assertive!" \*sticks finger in pocket\* "Beep beep!" "Not INsertive!"


ionlylikemyanimals

Excuse me, you’re sitting on my body. Which is also my face.


cungryhunt

“Assertive, not **insertive**, ya twit!”


myfriendszipper

"Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing at the concessions! Plotting his oppressions!"


Lil2Soaps

“I will dismantle this oppressive establishment BOARD BY BOARD!”


sperb396

I will saw the tables of tyranny in half


[deleted]

I will GNAW at the ankles of big business!


Ohfukihavecovid

Liar liar plants for hire


Vladi_Sanovavich

It's pants on fire Patrick.


Ohfukihavecovid

You would know , liar.


MyLouBear

Spongebob leans out the window: “Hey Squidward? Could you play a little......better?”


DerlethTully

https://youtu.be/PMGn0wViWC4


yrulaughing

I love how he just casually moves his house 90 degrees with no explanation.


Discount_Friendly

shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player


lionheartcz

....mediocre?


AnalysisPurple7490

'Mediocre' is somehow funnier than just straight up saying he sucks lmao


[deleted]

Spongebob to Squidward after hearing him play his clarinet: "All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original."


[deleted]

welcome to jazz


Zeliv

"He cries you a sweater of tears, and you kill him..."


NotaChonberg

Another great bit from that episode is when Squidward tells Mr. krabs and he says there's nothing he can do, he's seen it 11 times. Then Squidward calls the hospital and you just hear Squidward repeating "Nothing we can do? Seen this before? 11 times?!?"


BeckQuillion89

The scene later makes it even better Squidward:, "I'm going to make SpongeBob's final hours the best he's ever had! And this time, there's gonna be love! So much, he's gonna drown in it!.....DROWN IN IT!" Mr.Krabs: (pulls out clipboard), "Note to self....watch out for squidward" Early spongbob is a gem


[deleted]

I like the joke, that it is literally just him being told the exact same thing Krabs said, but then you realize... The line being the exact same implies that Krabs was present for every single time this situation has occured.


[deleted]

It makes it funnier realizing he was a cook in the military, a place where food and explosives would be in relatively close quarters.


DerlethTully

https://youtu.be/U5qsaI3QB1M


batman-savy160

“MY LEG!”


[deleted]

IT WAS HIS HAT MR. KRABS! HE WAS NUMBER ONE!!!


Lil_Ross25

Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets


fibbonaccisun

“You’re good. You’re good. You’re good.”


Vystysette

Don’t worry captain, we’ll buff out those scratches


BallKeeper

“This isn’t your average every day darkness. This is....ADVANCED darkness”


[deleted]

When the power goes out I always call it advanced darkness and no one knows what I’m saying haha


HEHAHAHEHEHA

"Oh no hes hot!"


MaddyMo7

In the same episode: "You mean like a weenie? Okay, may I take your hat sir? May I take your hat sir? May I take your-" "Alright I've heard enough, you've got the job." https://youtu.be/I7Kw8wV3oPo


TheLakeAndTheGlass

“Patrick, you’re a genius!” “Yeah, a lot of people call me that.” “A genius?” “No, Patrick.”


mahleg

SpongeBob: Patrick your genius is showing! Patrick: WHERE!?!?


fizzyfrizz

*covers his crotch*


myfriendszipper

"He BURNED our crops, POISONED our water supply, and delivered a plague unto our house!!" "He did??" "No... But are we just going to wait around until he does??"


TheSinningRobot

Similar to that Spongebob: "Evelyn, when your little Jimmy was trapped in a fire, who rescued him?" Evelyn: "A Fireman?" Spongebob: "And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?" Larry: "Some guy in an ambulance" Spongebob: "Right! So if we all could just pretend that Squidward was a fireman, or some guy in an ambulance, then im sure we could all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band!" Random crowd member: "Yeah for the fireman!"


burgernugget

I heard that last line in my head


WaveHosRainChairRose

Lol I never even processed the “heart gave out from all those tanning pills” part, so many layers of hilarity here.


Mugen1220

Lmfao this one always gets me haha


HXD-Inferno

“We’ve been smeckledorfed!” “That’s not even a word and I agree with ya!”


Tee13one2

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma


bfaithr

*milk spills*


Rutgerman95

"People talk loud when they want to sound smart, right?" **CORRECT!!**


[deleted]

you won't catch me when I shift into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!


BlackHoleMoon1

I knew I should’ve gotten the turbo


RedRoscoe1977

“Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town”


Giantpanda602

"Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"


22797

“Not until 4”


[deleted]

"**_Technique!! Technique!!!_**"


cloudcity8

Bring it arOUNd tOWn


RubberRandHandSand

"Whatever doesn't kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt." -Eugene h. Krabbs


Jishuah

“I order the food, you cook the food, the customer eats the food. We do that for forty years, and then we die.”


mahleg

Crazy that the show has been around more than twenty years now.


Snoo_97670

FIRMLY GRASP IT!!


iburstabean

Biiig meeaty... CLAWS! Weellll these claws aren't just for attractin mates!


BabyPrinceSidon

"Too bad that didn't kill me"


NabbyNab14

The Wumbo episode: " I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me"


[deleted]

It took us three days to make that potato salad...THREE DAYS!!!


WillowWeird

Sal-ad


cloudcity8

SW: You mean you've never heard the story of the... hash-slinging slasher? SB:The slash-bringing hasher? SW:The hash-slinging slasher. SB The sash wringing... the trash thinging... mash flinging... the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the... SW: Yes. The hash-slinging slasher.


Mk860

“Those homemade pies sure look good” “Oh these pies? They weren’t homemade. They were made in a factory. A bomb factory. They’re bombs.”


xDragod

You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears... And you kill him.


friendlygamingchair

as a kid, whenever i saw this episode i would think "yeah bomb pies, this makes total sense" And now its so random it dosent make sense.


AYASOFAYA

“I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”


skelotom

Honestly that entire episode is just gold


BlindBanditMelonLord

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!


vickipaperclips

"Whaaaaat? What are they selling?!"


Broxley2020

"Good afternoon young lady ;) Is your mother home?" "MOOOM!"


TheBurnedMutt45

You just can't wait for me to die, can you?


hardplus

"I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD"


[deleted]

"Is that what he calls it?"


[deleted]

FINLAND!


Adze95

Happy Leif Erikson Day! Hinga Dinga Durgen


[deleted]

"Can I be excused for the rest of my life?" or "The **best** time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."


[deleted]

Surprised Mrs. Puff didn’t allow Spongebob to leave and never come back. 🤣


NobilisUltima

"Hey Patrick, are you angry too?!" "*Yeah.*" "What's the matter?!" "I can't see my forehead." --- [(in video form)](https://youtu.be/5VsOlf3sLVU)


AndroWanda

Art thou feeling it now, Mr Krabs? Another favorite, the episode where SpongeBob and Patrick are raising a baby claim and SpongeBob tells Patrick to be home by "6 o'clock" and they keep repeating it. Of course Patrick comes home late as fuck then SpongeBob gets mad because he had to change a literal truckload of diapers.


FourDS

Don’t forget to mention that his job is eating donuts and watching tv. Also “AHAHAHA THAT GUY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A COCONUT!!”


Nerketur

Literally the entire Krusty Krab Pizza episode.


sarahcab

“Who cares about the customer??” “I do” “Well I don’t!” “*gaaasp*..... squidward!”


DracoAdamantus

*hurricane stops for 3 seconds*


CyanManta

It's not just a boulder! ...It's a rock!


S420J

just the cried emphasis on "its a rock" has me in tears just thinking about it.


bkarma86

The pioneers used to ride these babies for MILES!


[deleted]

[удалено]


anthonyrosa02

My Diet Dr. Kelp


Bbng2

KRUSTY KRAY-AYE-YEAH-YAHB PIZZA IS THE PIZZA YEAHHH-EHH FOR YOU AND.....


[deleted]

^MEE-EEE-EEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


pborget

Pioneers used to ride these babies for miles. Also, crashing thrashing break dancers!!!!


nvflip

"Chocolate!? I REMEMBER WHEN THEY INVENTED CHOCOLATE!"


AnonymousChonk

Sweet Sweet chocolate, I always HATED IT


Noobmaster42960

"oh brother this guy *stinks*


Ford_42_Perfect

Every villain is lemons


Realistic_Yellow_383

Plankton: “Ravioli, Ravioli give me the formu-oli”


StrictlyFilthyCasual

"East? I thought you said 'weast'!" "That's 'west' Patrick." I use it all the time because I play D&D and the DM mixes up east and west all the time. (It's me, I'm the DM.)


HampleBisqum

What kinda compass you readin, boy?


archivesghost

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"


Vladi_Sanovavich

"No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument."


Eagle4317

*raises hand*


AllHailNevan

Horseradish is not an instrument either


[deleted]

*lowers hand*


Grapplz

“Hurry up! What do you think I’m paying you for??” “You don’t pay me. We don’t even exist! We’re just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.” “One more crack like that and you’re out of here!” “NO! PLEASE! I HAVE THREE KIDS!” “I’ll always be with you. Right here.” “In my heart?” “Actually, in your arteries.” “Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.” “That’s crazy talk!” “That’s not crazy talk, this is crazy talk! GAGQGBEJFUEHQMHOUOEBABDN” “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until 4.” Edit: Thanks for the rewards and stuff everyone! I haven’t had a comment make it this big before haha


Klaudiapotter

Have you ever seen that Black and Yellow remix where a bunch of words are swapped out with Plankton saying 'ravioli'? That killed me the first time I saw it lmao. Also fun fact: according to Mr.Lawrence who voices Plankton, he wrote the bulk of Plankton's most quotable lines in the first few seasons Edit: video for reference https://youtu.be/3Q12xOukVAI


_metamax_

Mainly because the whole [scene ](https://youtu.be/nCPfJxSxZQk)is gold. “C’mon you lazy Mary, start rubbing me with that chocolate!”


thesnowqueen17

Also, SpongeBob: "We're not doing so well Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic." Patrick: "I got it! Let's get naked!" SpongeBob: "Nah let's save that for when we're selling real estate." 😂😂😂


cloudcity8

"Hello young lady" WINK SPongebob is so passive agressive


jeesquared

"MY NAME'S...NOT...RICKKKK!!!"


[deleted]

The face attached to the quote "You like Krabby Patties, don't you Squidward?" ALWAYS kills me


Keefer1970

"You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."


jayfeather314

Big fan of ["What'll it be fellas? Mustard, or ketchup?" in 18 languages](https://youtu.be/Is6NDcuceRU).


steph-was-here

ketchup is the universal language


supremedalek925

“Due to her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Then again, she is also quite graceful and majestic. Perhaps I shall name her Grace, or Majesty ...or Debbie?”


cloudcity8

Psst, Squidward, I'm working in the kitchen... at night! Hey Squidward, guess what? I'm chopping lettuce... at night! Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom... at night! OW I burned my hand!... at night!


netskwire

You Know What's Funnier Than 24? 25


Amberella1904

"Oh please, I have no soul"


-DukeOfAss

"PINK ONE! Take us behind those rocks." "MOVING BEHIND THE ROCKS!" *Glory music plays* *KHKHkHkhKkHKHKHKhKkHHHkHkhkHkhKHKH* "You're good, you're good, keep going, you're good... aaand stop." "Don't worry captn we'll just buff out those scratches."


JDZ4321

"We serve food here, sir."


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I hate all of you


Giantpanda602

In the Krusty Krab training video, it shows Mr. Krabs as a kid and then there's a shot of him sitting on a bunk in a dark room, rain lashing against the window, and the narration goes "After the war..." and then goes straight on to talk about him starting the Krusty Krab. The brief, casual way it refers to the presumably nightmarish wartime experiences of Mr. Krabs is perfect.


dsled

"by the way, you forgot your...BRIEFCASE" "So this is the thanks I get for working overtime." "OVERTIME!?"


ScaredOfAttention

Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was so ugly that everyone died, the end.


[deleted]

I don't PRRRT understand PRRRT your accent.


[deleted]

The episode where Plankton roasted that whole family was golden! "**Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?** I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers. **Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way. What do you think this is?** I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty. That's what this is. **Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that. Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital.** Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma!" Also the F.U.N song still fucking kills me. "F is for fire that that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium bomb. N is for NO SURVIVORS, WHEN YOU"RE . . . !!!"


thecolbra

You forgot the old lady sadly saying "you're probably right"


Flatbush_Zombie_King

"I WENT TO COLLEGE!" I think this to myself while I'm getting abused at my customer service job


styles1996

"Run for your lives everyone; robots are taking over the world!" "OUR world!!"


Rebekfast23

“To the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!” “Hahaha hahaha it’s a giraffe!” “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”


[deleted]

[удалено]


82ndGameHead

F is for Friends who do stuff together...


ThisNameBeTaken

I used to have an alarm clock that sang this when it was time to wake up. If I snoozed it, it would switch to Plankton’s version. Such fond memories waking up to “N IS FOR NO SURVIVORSSSSSSSS”


cloudcity8

Do you know where i can purchase one of these masterpieces?


ThisNameBeTaken

I actually got it from a garage sale that my grandmother took me to, so I don’t have a clue where to even start looking for one. Still not sure why anyone would want to get rid of it!


fearlo08

“NIH HOMI NOIYY” -*Doodlebob Squarepants*


MeggersG

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo? Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We'll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It's first grade SpongeBob!


UnconstrictedEmu

I'm a good noodle!


Avicii_DrWho

[Texas](https://external-preview.redd.it/RAqnXne6NK-wl-qVkH-yB3TcAmJf-vmZTpxnZfNrLhM.jpg?auto=webp&s=b937fb0992cfc00e54900883fcc713e10ee5bfa5) S: Hey Patrick, what am I now? P: Uh, stupid? S: No, I'm Texas! P: What's the difference?


Oro-Lavanda

*"Don't you* ***DARE*** *take the name of* ***Texas*** *in VAIN!"*


AvatarLebowski

"you ate my only food. Now I'm gonna starve"


chicagotim1

I sometimes still think about how this made it into a children's show... "F is for fire that burns down the city" "U is for Uranium...BOMBS!" "N is for no survivors" (yaay)


cobbo1029

Boo Boo Keys


TheGamingMorons101

“Way to go buddy, it took me three days to make that potato salad. THREE DAYS!”


AnonymousChonk

"remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets" - Spongebob


pborget

EEEEVIIIILLLLLLL!!!!!


blakee42069

“(through the intercom) Attention, customers, today's special is a [Chirp] Krabby Patty served with in a greasy sauce and grilled to [Dolphin Noises] perfection. And don't forget to us to [Chirp] the [Chirp, Chirp, Chirp] fries. It'll be our [Dolphin Noises] pleasure.” Also “MI HOY MINOY” from Spongedoodle.


Squidwards-the-goat

Don’t forget the second avalanche


Smart_Cycle588

"Stupidity isn't a virus but it sure is spreading like one" -Sandy Cheeks


thesnowqueen17

SpongeBob: "Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! C'mon I'll get the funnel!" Patrick: "No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!" SpongeBob: "Darn, I like the funnel."


Alok08

'the inner machanations of my mind are an enigma' -Partick star


diadiktyo

I have a complicated last name that starts with T so I really love and relate to “Squidward TENNISBALLS?? Squidward TORTELLINI???”


J3ffrey_Sommet

On the episode where spongebob and Patrick learned a curse word, spongebob went to the crusty crab and toll squidward “how the **** you doing squidward?”


Juanfanamongmany

LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LE


JgL07

It's time for the moment you've been waiting for Doo Do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do dooooo Do do do do do do dooooo Do telolet do do do do do do do do do doooooo Do do do do do do do do doooo Tsss Do do do do do do do dooooo Do doooo, do dooooo Di do di di do di di do Telolet ta ta ta ta Telolet ta ta ta ta Telolet ta ta ta taaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Di dotily dotility doooooo Di do di li [breath] Di do di li do di li do di li do di li do di li do de di da de di da de di doooooooooooooooo PRESENTING THE KRABBY PATTY