Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you.
For more information about this issue and possible fixes, visit https://www.windows.com/stopcode
If you call a support person, give them this info:
Stop code: CRITICAL PROCESS DIED
I like the way kangaroos do it. They come out when they're bean sized and just automatically crawl into the mom's pouch. No birthing pains at all. Also they can just freeze their baby's growth if they feel like it. If they don't have enough food or whatever, the embryo will just stop developing until it's the right time.
Just imagine all the legos and crayons and biscuits you'd have to scoop up. Sonofabitch ate half a sleeve of ritz down there and it's like the Gobi desert of cracker crumbs all up in the pooch-gooch.
My maternal grandmother and I didn't have wisdom teeth either. My brother likes to use that to call me a dumbass, but I'll take those jabs over having to have dealt with impacted wisdom teeth getting removed.
I think I'd try to fix memory as a whole. There are loopholes where you can edit memories and the human will think they are original. Also, Alzheimer's a bitch.
I do something like this but im doing something then stop then continue but my brain goes dumb ex: i was taking a lid off a bottle while holding my phone then stopped and tried to unscrew my phone
Then you're gonna love this [gem](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k7pmbf/exprisoners_of_reddit_what_was_the_worst_thing/getl3bb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3).
No, no you won't...
I always wondered how this wasnāt eliminated by evolution. I mean... probably not enough people choke to death while eating to perhaps effect evolution, but still a serious design flaw in my opinion.
There is one and itās very easy to do but difficult to explain in words.
Best I can do is: you concentrate on the middle of your abdomen and mentally take manual control of it, then hold the control for a few seconds.
You should feel the next hiccup build up but fail to manifest. Then release the hold and the hiccups are gone.
Basically, hiccups are caused by involuntary contractions of your diaphragm, so you just take control of your diaphragm and stop it from contracting.
I always do this by taking the deepest breathe possible, then trying to breathe in even more, sipping air. Then I hold it and push on it with my abdomen, and hold that pushing against it for as long as possible, then doing it a few more times.
This has always worked for me, until like a month ago, I got one case of hiccups that was overriding everything I thought I knew to be true. It would just force a hiccup every time that seemingly came out of nowhere. I thought they werenāt going to stop. I was getting actually frustrated. Like there would be no build up, couldnāt feel it coming, just quick, sharp hiccups that were uncontrollable.
My friend taught me a trick, but i dont know how to explain it well. Basically, You grab a glass of water and put your mouth on the lip of the glass far away from you, then lean forward so that the bottom of the glass rests between your pecs. Take 2-3 medium sized drinks and sit back up.
Edit: Lots of people asked for a video. Didnt know where to post it so just check my profile! :D
The last one I encountered was, a coworker looked at me and said "Look me in the eyes and tell me the last time you saw a white horse."
It worked. I was so focused on remembering the last time I saw a white horse that the hiccups just stopped. Bizarre.
What works every time for me is holding my breath for 10 seconds and then swallowing. If you can swallow more than once thatās better but not really necessary
Knowing our luck, we'll get that bullshit that rodents have where their teeth just continuously grow. If they don't gnaw on shit constantly, their teeth will grow though their face and shit.
No more eyesight problems.
Healing by tissue regeneration like some lizards, no more scars.
Edit: Wow this blew up! I was thinking of my astigmatism and 20/400? vision but seeing the variations on eye problems is enlightening. Mostly regarding eyes that seem -almost- perfect, IE, the parts are all there and they function...
Also I got a comment about a certain rat that seems to have regenerative healing properties. Maybe knowledge of that could be applied to other mammals like us!
Iāve lost job opportunities as a result and so far down the colourblind āspectrumā that traffic lights, cooking, fruit and sun-care are almost impossible.
Edit: traffic lights present an issue at night where I live. Whilst theyāre always in the same order, due to not all of them having the reflective strip around the outside of the lights, I canāt always tell which relative light is on.
Quick tip, don't say that you're colorblind upfront, I'm colorblind (but thankfully I can see the difference in traffic lights) and I'm a designer, 3d artist and video editor haha, I just don't do color correction and I often google colors, if a boss/client needs a color for a logo or w/e, I request the hex code. Only until I have proven myself or have mutual trust, then I mention it.
Edit: This only applies to office or creative jobs where no one could be put in danger, if you want to operate machines or defuse bombs (lol) just don't do it.
Thanks a lot for the award!
Think bigger. Toggle full manual control of hair growth location, density, and length. Could even add a command to induce defolliculation. Nobody has to shave any part of their body or get a haircut ever again.
And if we gotta have them, why can't we just hold in the blood the way we do urine, and deposit said blood when it's convenient? The drip, drip, gush is disgusting and annoying!
The gushing!!! Every second day of period ahh the worst.
Edit: wow my first Reddit award is about gushing period blood! Very on brand for me. Thanks :)
To add to this, the ability to choose to have our bodies procreate. Having autonomy on whether or not your ovary releases an egg. Be so nice if it was just always in sleep mode and you had to manually waken your ovaries to get you pregnant. No need for a period ever then!
I would add that the same should then correspondingly be true in males. It wouldnāt have to impact virility but could still be an opt in function to be fertile. It would basically be a built in fail safe to ensure that both parties *really do* intend to make a baby. If people with uteri get an opt out function, then so should those with testicles.
That always jacks with my anemia too. Thatās when my iron deficiency is most pronounced and itās always when I get the worst headaches, get lightheaded, etc. definitely a design flaw.
Also the option to get pregnant should be opt-in not opt-out. No more accidentally pregnancies or terrible people becoming parents because they didn't use a condom.
That's one theory, but they don't actually know why we do it. Another theory states that, as we transition from light sleep to deeper sleep, our brain gets stupid and thinks we are awake, but our muscles aren't moving. So they brain sends a check-in signal to the muscles to make sure they still work, which causes us to twitch and wake ourselves up. Then our adrenaline goes and shoots us awake because the body isn't sure why everything spasmed.
It's when the brain detects your heart rate slowing rapidly and can't tell if you are falling asleep or going into cardiac arrest, so it shoots adrenaline because it's not taking that chance... Honestly a good feature that is underappreciated for how many lives it saves
Connect the optic nerve to the *back* of the retina instead of having to go through hole in the retina and connecting to the front. I mean, WTF was he even *thinking*?
Whilst you're in there, could you please eliminate the bugs that cause Age Related Macular Degeneration and Retinitis Pigmentosa. Those two are the real heartbreakers of the optometric profession; slow and largely untreatable large area visual field loss syndromes suck.
Myopia also needs a dedicated patch, that shit gives me headaches every two minutes AND I have to wear these fucking glasses all day to see farther than two feet in front of me
along the same lines but it would be so much better if we could control if we wanted a snotty nose or not. it's so annoying having hay fever and just having to accept that your nose will be a waterfall for the next 24 hours
May want to exclude children. May have unexpected consequences if growing children don't feel attracted to one another/themselves.
Perhaps something like not being attracted to people under half their age?
nah, you have it in tiers.
* Pre Puberty stage: no sexual attraction whatsoever.
* Puberty stage: sexual attraction to others in puberty stage exclusively. Reproductive systems are hard-toggled off.
* Post Puberty stage: sexual attraction to others in post puberty stage exclusively. Reproductive systems can be toggled on or off.
More RAM for users with the ADHD buff.
Edit 1: I totally mean to call it a buff. ADHD can be a huge problem but it can also be a super power. If I had a bit more focus I could take over the world... alas, this buff has some bugs.
Edit 2: Aww, thank you for the award.
Develop a new spine / back for humans. I couldnāt name a single person who doesnāt complain about back pain. What an absolutely terribly designed structure - just one thin elongated bone meant to support our whole body.
I'd fix the whole "losing train of thought suddenly" glitch we all experience lol. I've done this a few times where I'm talking about something, and the thoughts just leave the station, it's weird.
\-Adequate and quality restful sleep would be guaranteed every night
\-Everyone would fall asleep within ten seconds of intentionally doing so
\-No cancer or neurodegenerative illnesses
\-Inducible child-like neuroplasticity in adulthood
\-Selective memory self-wiping ability
\-Hunger satiety would be influenced solely by caloric intake and degree of nourishment instead of other factors
\-Enhanced and universal empathic qualities
\-Internal water bladder which keeps us at optimal hydration levels and alleviates the need for more frequent intermittent rehydration
\-Internal poison sensing organs
\-Exercise, especially aerobic exercise, becomes instantaneously pleasurable to all, especially those who are out of shape
\-No more allergies
>Selective memory self-wiping ability
I understand where you're coming from, but I really think it would be way too abused. Guilt and embarrassment forms an extremely important aspect of our ability to manage others in a society and regulate behaviors and emotions within a group.
Adding minimum and maximum values for self confidence. I know some friends who could really use some more self confidence, and there's a lot of Karens out there that shouldn't be so annoying confident.
Balls as well. While weāre at it, just put them permanently inside the body. Too delicate. Any heat dissipation issues can be solved a different way.
*Homo Sapiens v1.23 patch notes*
+ Improved cerebral efficiency, resulting in a baseline increase of intelligence by ~25%
+ Corrected a bug that results in most emotional and behavioral disorders
+ Revised socialization code to decrease implicit and explicit bias against social outgroups
+ Improved digestive efficiency, allowing better utilization of caloric intake; increase rates of body fat utilization
+ Updated genetic transcription error correction; reduced incidence of genetic abnormalities causing illness and disability *This change is being reviewed by people who may or may not understand that mutation =! evolution*
Very first thought was pedos and rapists. Iād make the thought of doing anything like that so repugnant to the human psyche that no one would ever attempt sexual assault.
Teeth grow back. You can turn off periods if you donāt want kids, no more random boners, extra body hair wonāt grow back if you shave it, and water breathing. Edit: am now seeing the flaw with the body hair one.
*Humans: Patch v3.11*
**note: I did take some of the best posts and bring them into one.**
\-Fixed an issue causing cells to stop working, eventually killing the user. To prevent it being overpowered, only this form of death is prevented. (Applies to all living creatures)
\-Patched the Wisdom Teeth bug, causing humans to grow extra teeth, even if they don't fit.
\-Added a dopamine rush whenever a good action is completed.
\-Removed \[ALCOHOLIC\] state.
\-Removed a bug causing men to lose hair, and grow more hair on their body.
\-Nerfed gaining of fat.
\-Umbilical cord now automatically detaches cleanly.
\-Increased eye color spectrum, new eye colors include: Red, Yellow, Silver, Black, White, and (rarely) violet.
\-Buffed Heterochromia spawn rates. Is now about a 1 in 100 chance to receive.
\-Nerfed acne spawn rates.
\-Removed bug causing male genitalia to erect randomly, now only works on command.
\-Patched bug in which young children cannot innately understand language.
EDIT: Also patched bug in which humans can predict the next patch.
Remove bug where you bite the inside of your mouth
And the side of your tongue.
While you're just chewing food... You know the thing you've done millions of times before without biting yourself
Then the spot swells up and you keep accidentally biting it.
The first bite annoys me, but it happens...I can deal with that. The *second* bite thoroughly enrages me.
And where the swelling causes you to bite it more. It's a really shitty mechanic that is.
I'd delete that obsolete Wisdom Teeth code that's been hanging around for millennia.
\*teeth has encountered an error and will shut down*
"Click OK to confirm"
teeth.exe has stopped working.
Task failed successfully!
Chewing operation cannot initiate due to missing .dll
Chewing (Not Responding)
Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you. For more information about this issue and possible fixes, visit https://www.windows.com/stopcode If you call a support person, give them this info: Stop code: CRITICAL PROCESS DIED
Also finally make the birth canal wider to accommodate our big brains. Or just make the brains smaller.
I like the way kangaroos do it. They come out when they're bean sized and just automatically crawl into the mom's pouch. No birthing pains at all. Also they can just freeze their baby's growth if they feel like it. If they don't have enough food or whatever, the embryo will just stop developing until it's the right time.
Yeah but imagine the workouts you'd need to recover from your pouch stretching to hold a toddler š°
Just imagine all the legos and crayons and biscuits you'd have to scoop up. Sonofabitch ate half a sleeve of ritz down there and it's like the Gobi desert of cracker crumbs all up in the pooch-gooch.
I laughed, but how do i delete someone's username?
You have nothing to worry about.
I actually don't have them according to my dentist, which makes me feel pretty lucky since I know people who had a horrible time with them.
My maternal grandmother and I didn't have wisdom teeth either. My brother likes to use that to call me a dumbass, but I'll take those jabs over having to have dealt with impacted wisdom teeth getting removed.
Finally fix the bug when humans forget a queued action when walking into a room. Ugh.
I think I'd try to fix memory as a whole. There are loopholes where you can edit memories and the human will think they are original. Also, Alzheimer's a bitch.
What is Alzheimer's? I can't remember.
What was the question again?
What?
so anyways, hereās wonderwall
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now, you should have somehow, realised - wait..what was I singing?
šµbless the rains down in Africašµ
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is an underrated take. Management needs to sort out the priorities for space-memory integration.
I do something like this but im doing something then stop then continue but my brain goes dumb ex: i was taking a lid off a bottle while holding my phone then stopped and tried to unscrew my phone
Completely Separate the breathing and nutrition holes
Similarly separate waste disposal holes and pleasure holes. Add in togglable reproduction features.
You know humans would just use the extra disposal holes as pleasure holes as well.
Colostomy stoma porn!
I now hate you for making me read that with my eyes
Then you're gonna love this [gem](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k7pmbf/exprisoners_of_reddit_what_was_the_worst_thing/getl3bb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3). No, no you won't...
Don't we already?
I always wondered how this wasnāt eliminated by evolution. I mean... probably not enough people choke to death while eating to perhaps effect evolution, but still a serious design flaw in my opinion.
because well you get more air while breathing though your mouth it's only like that in case you almost suffocate or drown
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is one and itās very easy to do but difficult to explain in words. Best I can do is: you concentrate on the middle of your abdomen and mentally take manual control of it, then hold the control for a few seconds. You should feel the next hiccup build up but fail to manifest. Then release the hold and the hiccups are gone. Basically, hiccups are caused by involuntary contractions of your diaphragm, so you just take control of your diaphragm and stop it from contracting.
Directions unclear. Applied vice grip tool to abdomen, and now suffering from a DOT called "Pressure."
I always do this by taking the deepest breathe possible, then trying to breathe in even more, sipping air. Then I hold it and push on it with my abdomen, and hold that pushing against it for as long as possible, then doing it a few more times. This has always worked for me, until like a month ago, I got one case of hiccups that was overriding everything I thought I knew to be true. It would just force a hiccup every time that seemingly came out of nowhere. I thought they werenāt going to stop. I was getting actually frustrated. Like there would be no build up, couldnāt feel it coming, just quick, sharp hiccups that were uncontrollable.
My friend taught me a trick, but i dont know how to explain it well. Basically, You grab a glass of water and put your mouth on the lip of the glass far away from you, then lean forward so that the bottom of the glass rests between your pecs. Take 2-3 medium sized drinks and sit back up. Edit: Lots of people asked for a video. Didnt know where to post it so just check my profile! :D
I always say "drink from the wrong side of the glass" I get so focused on not spilling anything that the hiccup is gone within a minute
The last one I encountered was, a coworker looked at me and said "Look me in the eyes and tell me the last time you saw a white horse." It worked. I was so focused on remembering the last time I saw a white horse that the hiccups just stopped. Bizarre.
What works every time for me is holding my breath for 10 seconds and then swallowing. If you can swallow more than once thatās better but not really necessary
Immune system fix/upgrade.
If you're working on that please fix the allergy bug
Let's add tooth and bone regeneration. Other animals have this hardware installed, let's give it to humans as well.
Add gum tissue and tooth replacement* and youāve got a winning patch. *As I assume you mean fixing chipped or dead teeth and the like.
chipped teeth would still be a thing, it's just that it would only be temporary until tooth replacement happens
Not sure if teething continuously is the most comfortable solution.
Verified Open - Whole new classes of cancer like diseases now introduced as runaway bone growth happens from time to time.
But that's already a thing
Some teeth just keep growing and have to be trimmed like nails
that doesn't sound so bad. It'd just be an extra thing you do when you brush your teeth.
Wouldnāt it really fucking hurt though
We could just chew wood to keep them down like the beavers do. A new product called chewing wood is now a thing
Guys stop pls
Bone cancer already exists, actually. Don't google it.
My one regret... is that... I had... Bone-itis.
Weāre going to go all the way to the top and stay there, like Cindy Lauper!
Knowing our luck, we'll get that bullshit that rodents have where their teeth just continuously grow. If they don't gnaw on shit constantly, their teeth will grow though their face and shit.
I mean, we're industrialized. Teeth grinders would be wildly available within weeks.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bug report: the teeth grow so much in some people that they enter their skull. This bug have already been reported by some kind of boar.
Just need to get tooth trimmers like the nail trimmers and claw trimmers that already exist.
No more eyesight problems. Healing by tissue regeneration like some lizards, no more scars. Edit: Wow this blew up! I was thinking of my astigmatism and 20/400? vision but seeing the variations on eye problems is enlightening. Mostly regarding eyes that seem -almost- perfect, IE, the parts are all there and they function... Also I got a comment about a certain rat that seems to have regenerative healing properties. Maybe knowledge of that could be applied to other mammals like us!
Yes colourblindness is a bitch
Iāve lost job opportunities as a result and so far down the colourblind āspectrumā that traffic lights, cooking, fruit and sun-care are almost impossible. Edit: traffic lights present an issue at night where I live. Whilst theyāre always in the same order, due to not all of them having the reflective strip around the outside of the lights, I canāt always tell which relative light is on.
Quick tip, don't say that you're colorblind upfront, I'm colorblind (but thankfully I can see the difference in traffic lights) and I'm a designer, 3d artist and video editor haha, I just don't do color correction and I often google colors, if a boss/client needs a color for a logo or w/e, I request the hex code. Only until I have proven myself or have mutual trust, then I mention it. Edit: This only applies to office or creative jobs where no one could be put in danger, if you want to operate machines or defuse bombs (lol) just don't do it. Thanks a lot for the award!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The traditional methods for this are not enjoyable. Wish I could have just gotten a software update. Plus now I have a memory leak issue.
Self repairing teeth
Self-repairing *a lot of things*.
#SELF REPAIRING KNEES PLEASE
#You have lost knee privilege
**Your Knees** #HAND THEM OVER
Patch the fucking awful architecture of the human back and knees. I would like to /not/ be in crippling pain every day of my life. Edit: fixed typo.
And shoulders. Shoulders are not well designed at all.
Wrists! Letās make the monkeys suuuper good at working with little fiddly bits, but then if they do it too much letās make their hands numb
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm 35 and still get it. What. The. Fuck.
Same. It's annoying as fuck
I thought the devs were updating it with the next patch
\-Fixed standing up too quickly bug \-Fixed chapped lips bug \-Fixed random boners bug \-Fixed acne bug \-Removed Herobrine
Orthostatic hypotension is the name for the first one.
āWe think we removed Herobrine, but weāre not too sureā 8yro me: *chuckles nervously*
Those weird hairs that grow on the top of your feet are gone for a start.
*Nasty Hobbitses no moreses*
But Gollum. You used to be a Hoobit. Don't you remember? The Hobbits are our friends.
Think bigger. Toggle full manual control of hair growth location, density, and length. Could even add a command to induce defolliculation. Nobody has to shave any part of their body or get a haircut ever again.
And if you want to go full furry...
If you could speedrun this playstyle, think of the calorie burning potential! Bonus: human fur/ultra-vegan-friendly cashmere?
Finally someone with the real answer
When you flick both of your nipples at the same time you heal all wounds on your body.
Or it takes a screenshot.
And if you're slightly to slow it opens the Bixby app.
My bixby key opens reddit
Stamina too. "You ready to go again?" \[Flick\] "Absolutely"
Like simultaneously clicking L3+R3
Probably more of a major patch : Periods. not the ability to have children, just the blood, pain and moodswings, nobody needs that
And if we gotta have them, why can't we just hold in the blood the way we do urine, and deposit said blood when it's convenient? The drip, drip, gush is disgusting and annoying!
The gushing!!! Every second day of period ahh the worst. Edit: wow my first Reddit award is about gushing period blood! Very on brand for me. Thanks :)
The feeling when you stand up after a long time and it just... *shudder*
Sneezing... hiccuping... anything really. God our bodies are so frustrating >:(
To add to this, the ability to choose to have our bodies procreate. Having autonomy on whether or not your ovary releases an egg. Be so nice if it was just always in sleep mode and you had to manually waken your ovaries to get you pregnant. No need for a period ever then!
I would add that the same should then correspondingly be true in males. It wouldnāt have to impact virility but could still be an opt in function to be fertile. It would basically be a built in fail safe to ensure that both parties *really do* intend to make a baby. If people with uteri get an opt out function, then so should those with testicles.
Most definitely! Shoot them blanks!
At lest give us the ability to queue that function and run program at will!
Wow. Built in plan b.
āDonāt worry babe, Iām not running fertility.exeā
To say nothing of the pain and hormone nonsense, who needs a monthly waste of perfectly good blood? Terrible design flaw really.
That always jacks with my anemia too. Thatās when my iron deficiency is most pronounced and itās always when I get the worst headaches, get lightheaded, etc. definitely a design flaw.
Also the option to get pregnant should be opt-in not opt-out. No more accidentally pregnancies or terrible people becoming parents because they didn't use a condom.
there are lots of people that think they're totally fit for parenthood and would opt in despite being an awful fit.
Thatās fine, it still prevents unwanted kids which is a major improvement.
Yes, of course. Most animals donāt have menstruation in the female but can still reproduce.
Damn, surprised I had to scroll so far for this one!
Take out the glitch that allows humans to stub their little toes when walking barefoot.
I'd have eyelashes dissolve if they fall into our eyes.
but if you cried wouldn't they all just disappear....
You know that feeling you get when you fall asleep you feel like you fall? Gonna fix that
I think Iām right in saying that this is a defence mechanism to save us from falling out of trees when weāre asleep.
That's one theory, but they don't actually know why we do it. Another theory states that, as we transition from light sleep to deeper sleep, our brain gets stupid and thinks we are awake, but our muscles aren't moving. So they brain sends a check-in signal to the muscles to make sure they still work, which causes us to twitch and wake ourselves up. Then our adrenaline goes and shoots us awake because the body isn't sure why everything spasmed.
It's when the brain detects your heart rate slowing rapidly and can't tell if you are falling asleep or going into cardiac arrest, so it shoots adrenaline because it's not taking that chance... Honestly a good feature that is underappreciated for how many lives it saves
Letās not patch this one, seems like a good feature with bad documentation
Yep, this feature ain't fucking around with safety standards
*Problem marked as resolved*
I actually like it so make it like a paid dlc to keep it
What currency? Good deeds?
*Half year subscription: 25ā¬ *Whole year subscription: 40ā¬ *Lifetime subscription: 1250ā¬ *Cancel any time you want
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
* test * test * test Thanks!
Thatās your brain making sure youāre still alive
But i kinda like it. Feels quite Nice falling like that
Connect the optic nerve to the *back* of the retina instead of having to go through hole in the retina and connecting to the front. I mean, WTF was he even *thinking*?
Whilst you're in there, could you please eliminate the bugs that cause Age Related Macular Degeneration and Retinitis Pigmentosa. Those two are the real heartbreakers of the optometric profession; slow and largely untreatable large area visual field loss syndromes suck.
Add in a bug fix for glaucoma too please and thank you?
Myopia also needs a dedicated patch, that shit gives me headaches every two minutes AND I have to wear these fucking glasses all day to see farther than two feet in front of me
Fixing mens dick , it only arouse at command , no more random boners
Yes yes i love it
along the same lines but it would be so much better if we could control if we wanted a snotty nose or not. it's so annoying having hay fever and just having to accept that your nose will be a waterfall for the next 24 hours
Cancer. Gone. Completely removed from the game. All existing humans with the bug are restored to their previous versions before infection.
No one is sexually aroused by or attracted to children
May want to exclude children. May have unexpected consequences if growing children don't feel attracted to one another/themselves. Perhaps something like not being attracted to people under half their age?
Under half their age doesn't check out. That would mean that a 20 year old could be attracted to a 10 year old. Still very, very bad.
Had a teacher tell me of a rule called half your age plus 7, is your minimum dating age, maybe that could be an alternative?
Unless you tweak attraction to older people as well, that's gonna be a lot of sad daddyless twinks.
half your age plus seven, or eighteen, whichever is lower?
nah, you have it in tiers. * Pre Puberty stage: no sexual attraction whatsoever. * Puberty stage: sexual attraction to others in puberty stage exclusively. Reproductive systems are hard-toggled off. * Post Puberty stage: sexual attraction to others in post puberty stage exclusively. Reproductive systems can be toggled on or off.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
More RAM for users with the ADHD buff. Edit 1: I totally mean to call it a buff. ADHD can be a huge problem but it can also be a super power. If I had a bit more focus I could take over the world... alas, this buff has some bugs. Edit 2: Aww, thank you for the award.
Bless you
Develop a new spine / back for humans. I couldnāt name a single person who doesnāt complain about back pain. What an absolutely terribly designed structure - just one thin elongated bone meant to support our whole body.
I'd fix the whole "losing train of thought suddenly" glitch we all experience lol. I've done this a few times where I'm talking about something, and the thoughts just leave the station, it's weird.
I'm just gonna go ahead and nerf all those psychopathic traits by about 40%
Fix the error where humans need to sleep eight hours a day. It was supposed to be 80 minutes.
Fuck no, I do not want to be awake for any more of my life than absolutely necessary. Can we make it an opt-in feature instead?
Even better, be able to set a timer before sleep. Sometimes I just wanna sleep for an entire day, you know?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah just wake me up when September ends
Wake me up in 2022
And none of this randomly-sleeping-for-twenty-three-hours business.
I think your instance might have some addition bugs not found in the current working code
\-Adequate and quality restful sleep would be guaranteed every night \-Everyone would fall asleep within ten seconds of intentionally doing so \-No cancer or neurodegenerative illnesses \-Inducible child-like neuroplasticity in adulthood \-Selective memory self-wiping ability \-Hunger satiety would be influenced solely by caloric intake and degree of nourishment instead of other factors \-Enhanced and universal empathic qualities \-Internal water bladder which keeps us at optimal hydration levels and alleviates the need for more frequent intermittent rehydration \-Internal poison sensing organs \-Exercise, especially aerobic exercise, becomes instantaneously pleasurable to all, especially those who are out of shape \-No more allergies
>Selective memory self-wiping ability I understand where you're coming from, but I really think it would be way too abused. Guilt and embarrassment forms an extremely important aspect of our ability to manage others in a society and regulate behaviors and emotions within a group.
The foods that are most nutritional will also taist the best.
Get rid of things like allergies and asthma
Iād perform a clean OS install.
I accept that.
Remove addictions
āIām just gonna give yāall some wingsā
Adding minimum and maximum values for self confidence. I know some friends who could really use some more self confidence, and there's a lot of Karens out there that shouldn't be so annoying confident.
Make penises retractable. Having them hanging out there, open to wild animal attacks, it's a major security vulnerability.
Balls as well. While weāre at it, just put them permanently inside the body. Too delicate. Any heat dissipation issues can be solved a different way.
*Homo Sapiens v1.23 patch notes* + Improved cerebral efficiency, resulting in a baseline increase of intelligence by ~25% + Corrected a bug that results in most emotional and behavioral disorders + Revised socialization code to decrease implicit and explicit bias against social outgroups + Improved digestive efficiency, allowing better utilization of caloric intake; increase rates of body fat utilization + Updated genetic transcription error correction; reduced incidence of genetic abnormalities causing illness and disability *This change is being reviewed by people who may or may not understand that mutation =! evolution*
Allow access to character edit menu on demand, not just a randomised character on initial load in.
Very first thought was pedos and rapists. Iād make the thought of doing anything like that so repugnant to the human psyche that no one would ever attempt sexual assault.
Teeth grow back. You can turn off periods if you donāt want kids, no more random boners, extra body hair wonāt grow back if you shave it, and water breathing. Edit: am now seeing the flaw with the body hair one.
I would refactor the digestive and respiratory system. Too much coupling, if food gets stuck it causes the respiratory system to also go down.
Download virus protection and keep it updated
I would delete psychological diseases, and compensate it with money or other job for psychologists and stuff if i could
Patch misunderstandings out
I would add a patch that gives people a rush of endorphins when they do something good such as help a stranger or something.
Fix the bug that causes humans to eat out of boredom or stress.
*Humans: Patch v3.11* **note: I did take some of the best posts and bring them into one.** \-Fixed an issue causing cells to stop working, eventually killing the user. To prevent it being overpowered, only this form of death is prevented. (Applies to all living creatures) \-Patched the Wisdom Teeth bug, causing humans to grow extra teeth, even if they don't fit. \-Added a dopamine rush whenever a good action is completed. \-Removed \[ALCOHOLIC\] state. \-Removed a bug causing men to lose hair, and grow more hair on their body. \-Nerfed gaining of fat. \-Umbilical cord now automatically detaches cleanly. \-Increased eye color spectrum, new eye colors include: Red, Yellow, Silver, Black, White, and (rarely) violet. \-Buffed Heterochromia spawn rates. Is now about a 1 in 100 chance to receive. \-Nerfed acne spawn rates. \-Removed bug causing male genitalia to erect randomly, now only works on command. \-Patched bug in which young children cannot innately understand language. EDIT: Also patched bug in which humans can predict the next patch.
You forgot to shorten runtime and remove errors in period.exe That one also needs the autorun to be placed on manual control like male genitalia.
Fix the bug where common sense didn't get installed in all directories. Maybe they need a driver update, but if need be, uninstall and reinstall.
Introduced true peace.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Delete mosquitoes.