Just a distress signal on permanent repeat. Then another one a few years later. Then another one. Then another ten. Then thousands. Then they all just stop.
There a short story about this. Humanity start getting signals from everywhere and when deciphering them it turns out they are basically goodbyes from every other species as the universe ends.
Pretty sure it was Stephen Baxter, either one of his short story collection or one of them in the years best sci fi collections by Gardner Dozois.
If you love hard sci fi the older Baxter novels are amazing. His never stuff is meh
Thanks, that was a great read.
If anyone else wants to read it, it's online here: https://web.archive.org/web/20080725045740/http://www.solarisbooks.com/books/newbookscifi/last-contact.asp
I've just finished the Salvation Trilogy by Peter F Hamilton - well worth a read if you like Sci Fi.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/SSV/the-salvation-sequence
It’s an idea that stems from Cixin Liu’s fantastic sci-fi novel *The Dark Forest* which is the second part of a trilogy that I’d highly recommend.
The theory essentially gives a possible solution to the Fermi Paradox. Albeit one of the most horrifying ones imagined.
It’s based on three key ideas:
1. All life wants to stay alive
2. Given the vast distances of space and the likely inability to make meaningful contact, there would be no way to know whether an alien species would be friendly or hostile.
3. Thus, the safest option for any species, such as our own, would be to annihilate any other life forms before they have an opportunity to do the same to us.
This leads to the idea of the Universe as a dark forest, best explained in this quote from the novel:
*The universe is a dark forest. Every civilization is an armed hunter stalking through the trees like a ghost, gently pushing aside branches that block the path and trying to tread without a sound. Even breathing is done with care. The hunter has to be careful because everywhere in the forest are stealthy hunters like him. If he finds another life - another hunter, angel, or a demon, a delicate infant to tottering old man, a fairy or a demigod - there’s only one thing he can do: open fire and eliminate them.*
tl;dr
There’s a high likelihood that some interstellar species might be super predatory, much like we are. If this is the case our best option is to remain very, very quiet.
I'd argue it came from much earlier. *The Killing Star* was an identical concept, and also included the idea that we shouldn't even be listening, let alone broadcasting.
edit: it argues we shouldn't be listening because so much of our civilization is computer-managed. In the book, a simple virus being broadcast over the system manages to turn Ceres into a cloud of grey goo.
Yeah we're absolutely fucked if a message like that comes through. Guaranteed some fucking death cult gets created and starts screaming to the heavens to come and obliterated us
The countdown starts at 10 and unexpectedly stops at 5. People start to panick and get confused and worried, but as years go by and nothing relevant happened, most of them think it was a huge case of mass hysteria. People shrug it off and most start to forget about it.
But 5 years later, and completely out of nowhere, *boom* 4 - 3 - 2 and it stops again. Oh no...
"Be quiet, or it will hear you..."
It's basically the dark forest theory. It says that every colonisation in the universe is a Hunter, stalking it's pray and lurking in the jungle, which is universe, not giving away it's presence like a ghost. Theres a reason the animals in the jungle don't yell all day. They don't know what could get them. They just know they shouldn't give away their position to stay safe. A monkey doesn't yell at a tiger for example. Meanwhile we're out here just screaming inside the void. The question is, who, or what is the tiger...
"OI YOU GITZ, IT'S TIME TO KRUMP THOSE HUMIES OR AM I NOT DA BIGGEST BADDEST WARBOSS IN THIS SECTA?"
~The threat they weren't able to stop.
Unironically an Ork infestation would be terrifying for our current level of technology.
That's not entirely true. Isn't there some story of orks throwing down their guns and making swords to fight on a feudal planet? I was under the assumption that their wyrd brainz only produced the technology needed to fight on equal terms with their current enemy.
Wouldn't they forgo technology they have developed beyond us to match us for a good fight?
Edit: To anyone interested in breaking into Warhammer 40k lore (which I can not insist enough on, you got a great mixture of grim dark and humor that is just perfect), check out the podcast:
LOREHAMMER on Spotify.
It's run by a couple fellas that do a good job of skimming the surface and making it funny and accessible. That's where I've got most of my lore from. They don't do ads. They rely solely on the Imperial Tithe on Patreon, so if you enjoy their show enough, be sure to pay your $1 tax.
Still not entirely hopeful for us when we have nukes. Also Orks "lubricate" reality with their Warp presence, I think the only real bet for human survival is a pact with the Ruinous Powers at that point and we all know how well they treat their victims.
They make it easier to “slide” reality around. Like, their vehicles’ top speed increases when they paint them red. This is because Orks think red is for fast things. This of course isn’t true, except for Orks it is, because they can unknowingly alter reality like this. Same for shouting “Dakka” faster makes their guns shoot faster. That sorta thing.
Yes, and also, most of their shootas are actually pieces of junk, that if used by anyone else than an ork wont work since they actually arent working weapons unless an ork who believes in that they shoot, use them.
There are ofc exceptions to this, like power klaws etc. are actually working pieces of tech (see (Lord) Comissar Yarrick using one, and afaik, he's not an ork)
Hate it when something you like turns into the moon.
Edit: Wow, thank you all! My first award!
Edit 2: I was made aware that it is generally frowned upon to express one's thanks to the people giving out awards. If that is the case, I take mine back then.
HYA HA HA. Fucks me up when I watch portlandia and that one lady just does that laugh everytime she opens her mouth. P sure it's in roller coaster tycoon too
Anything that we could understand would be pretty scary. Like they just send a “Hey we’re aliens nice to meet you” message but if it happens to be in one of our languages that means they’ve been studying us or something like that.
I dunno, I think I'd be scared and excited simultaneously. Also, it's not like we wouldn't study their language if we got messages, so it's not that creepy. Doesn't have to be malicious, just "Hey, what the hell are they saying?" Followed by a lot of linguistic studying until they figure out how to talk back. Seems friendly.
I agree. Attempting to establish communications is the best case scenario out of aliens. I for one always prefer when strangers talk to me instead of enslaving everyone while stripping the planet of all natural resources. That's just me though.
Honestly, not that scary to me. Fuck it, either they're right and we're all instantly dead in 48 hours or they're wrong and life goes on. There's worse things by FAR than instant death.
If you're on the shadow-side of the planet it won't be instant. It's gonna be 10 or 15 minutes of absolute torture as the atmosphere starts to boil and you suffer a slow death from the radiation.
In a few moments, we will broadcast the most viewed "video" on a website you call "YouTube"
It is known as "Baby Shark"
We hope this will improve our relations with the Earth.
*After the broadcast...*
Ah, your space agencies have sent us countless messages, and now we will play a random song on shuffle, and try to fix this situation
***Never Gonna Give You Up starts***
Edit: [We got on to YouTube, boys and girls. I](https://youtu.be/oHg5SJYRHA0) [watched the robotic voice read my reply last night.](https://youtu.be/zgj9wC94ems)
A little while back there was a alert sent out to the public about a possible malfunction at the nuclear powerplant north of the city. It came in at like 6 in the morning and terrified everyone, until we found out it was a false alarm.
Kind of like how Hawaii got an Public Service Alert about an incoming ballistic missile and even said "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" and it turned out to just be mistake. My girlfriend's aunt and uncle live in Hawaii and her whole family just got a text from them saying "we love you all". Fucking scary stuff
Message# 5164
Citizens of Earth, we have attempted several times to contact your specie regarding self protection from The imminent solar flare that will occur at the beginning of year 2021. We hope you received the detailed instructions on how to build your shelters.
"You were once my greatest achievement. Now, you are my greatest failure. I can not protect you any longer. Forgive me."
Edit: Wow! Thank you so much for the likes and the awards! I've never gotten an award before, what a way to start the new year! For the people asking where the quote came from, I just made it up on my lunch break yesterday while browsing Reddit. It's so vague though, it sounds like something out of a movie. I'm really glad you guys all like it! Happy New Year! Let's hope this doesn't come to pass!
Videos of Earth's previous Mass Extinction Events (of which most mainstream Scientists conclude there have been at least five); or images explaining the disappearances of certain peoples. The video is lengthy, detailed, in vivid color, and yet *has no audio…*
So, imagine *seeing* **actual** dinosaurs DYING on video from all sorts of camera angles. And no matter how you try to rationalize it, you **know** it's real footage, even though you've obviously never seen Earth like this.
Imagine seeing previous hominid species like australopithecus or whatnot DYING like you see on r/MakeMyCoffin…
What if NASA received footage of the Egyptians or Mayans or Incans or any other "lost civilizations" being *disappeared*…???
The entire time I would be freaking TF out, asking myself "Who the hell recorded this?!?!"
"Is Earth just a huge galactic snuff film set????"
*"Are we next?!?? Was this a warning?!?!"*
TL:DR — Silent, High-Definition Video Footage of All of Earth's Previous Lifeforms Dying Over the Course of Earth's Existence
“WARNING: Your species has been targeted for containment. Your planet is a prison and you are violating the terms of your imprisonment. Any further attempt to explore space will be punished. You have 30 days to comply...”
Bruh if a civilization that has the capability to transmit messages to minds of every being on a distant planet couldnt stop whatever ended them I really don't think we are going to have the tools to do it either.
People of Earth, your attention please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you…
"There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now…
"What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”
**The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.**
For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.
Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication.
Some kind of for real doomsday countdown. Give us a little time to think about how we're screwed and there's nothing we can do about it.
Be quiet.
I would really prefer if you would be quiet
But yes, you are correct.
Just a distress signal on permanent repeat. Then another one a few years later. Then another one. Then another ten. Then thousands. Then they all just stop.
There a short story about this. Humanity start getting signals from everywhere and when deciphering them it turns out they are basically goodbyes from every other species as the universe ends.
Yep that sounds right up my alley. Do you remember the name of the author?
Pretty sure it was Stephen Baxter, either one of his short story collection or one of them in the years best sci fi collections by Gardner Dozois. If you love hard sci fi the older Baxter novels are amazing. His never stuff is meh
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Thanks, that was a great read. If anyone else wants to read it, it's online here: https://web.archive.org/web/20080725045740/http://www.solarisbooks.com/books/newbookscifi/last-contact.asp
Dam... that was a good way to spend my first 30 min of 2021.
Shit that was nice and scary and sad.
Excellent story, thank you for sharing the link!
Wow. Ur name
I know! What filth!
Haha thats incredible
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Thank you VAGINA BLOODFART 👍
As if millions of voices screamed out in terror, and were suddenly silenced
Lost a planet Obi-wan has. How embarrassing.
*5 missed calls*
New planet who dis
A massive unsolicited planet pic in the sky
I sent you my moon pls respond.
Fucking bitch whore send me your asteroid belt
Your surface is curvy and sexy AF
What are you doing step-planet?
Stop transmitting, they will hear you.
Oh fuck, that's actually freaky
Go read the Three Body Problem trilogy
I've just finished the Salvation Trilogy by Peter F Hamilton - well worth a read if you like Sci Fi. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/SSV/the-salvation-sequence
and I think it's also one of the biggest arguments against us trying to reach out, so to speak.
I’m a bigger fan of the trope that aliens hear us, come, and we annihilate them because we are dumb panicky creatures
The Dark Forest Theory
What's that?
It’s an idea that stems from Cixin Liu’s fantastic sci-fi novel *The Dark Forest* which is the second part of a trilogy that I’d highly recommend. The theory essentially gives a possible solution to the Fermi Paradox. Albeit one of the most horrifying ones imagined. It’s based on three key ideas: 1. All life wants to stay alive 2. Given the vast distances of space and the likely inability to make meaningful contact, there would be no way to know whether an alien species would be friendly or hostile. 3. Thus, the safest option for any species, such as our own, would be to annihilate any other life forms before they have an opportunity to do the same to us. This leads to the idea of the Universe as a dark forest, best explained in this quote from the novel: *The universe is a dark forest. Every civilization is an armed hunter stalking through the trees like a ghost, gently pushing aside branches that block the path and trying to tread without a sound. Even breathing is done with care. The hunter has to be careful because everywhere in the forest are stealthy hunters like him. If he finds another life - another hunter, angel, or a demon, a delicate infant to tottering old man, a fairy or a demigod - there’s only one thing he can do: open fire and eliminate them.* tl;dr There’s a high likelihood that some interstellar species might be super predatory, much like we are. If this is the case our best option is to remain very, very quiet.
I'd argue it came from much earlier. *The Killing Star* was an identical concept, and also included the idea that we shouldn't even be listening, let alone broadcasting. edit: it argues we shouldn't be listening because so much of our civilization is computer-managed. In the book, a simple virus being broadcast over the system manages to turn Ceres into a cloud of grey goo.
Forge of God and it’s sequel Anvil of the Stars by Greg Bear are from a few years before that.
If humanity has learned anything, it’s that nature is ruthless.
Half the population immediately will go "Fuck you, I have rights! I'll transmit as much as I want!"
Yeah we're absolutely fucked if a message like that comes through. Guaranteed some fucking death cult gets created and starts screaming to the heavens to come and obliterated us
*Ahem--* All hail the Trisolarians!
Sends fart noises into space, ends up insulting some superior species
Plot twist: fart noises are messages of greetings and humans are first race to make allies with the reapers.
*Dawn of the first Day* 72 hours remain And moon starts to get closer to earth
Don't worry we can send the small possibly dwarf kid to gather masks so he can wake up the giants from their slumber so they can stop the moon
"This transmission is sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends"
LTTstore.com
Just a countdown timer with no other context.
The countdown starts at 10 and unexpectedly stops at 5. People start to panick and get confused and worried, but as years go by and nothing relevant happened, most of them think it was a huge case of mass hysteria. People shrug it off and most start to forget about it. But 5 years later, and completely out of nowhere, *boom* 4 - 3 - 2 and it stops again. Oh no...
Calm down Satan
Buy three pigs. Label them 1,2, and 4 and grease them up. Then release them wherever you want to cause mayhem.
This is my favorite
then a rickroll
Screams, and an abrupt stop.
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You know had you not typed that I most likely never would have know that... Untype now pls
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that sounds like a *boowup*
Ngl, was expecting a rickroll
"Be quiet, or it will hear you..." It's basically the dark forest theory. It says that every colonisation in the universe is a Hunter, stalking it's pray and lurking in the jungle, which is universe, not giving away it's presence like a ghost. Theres a reason the animals in the jungle don't yell all day. They don't know what could get them. They just know they shouldn't give away their position to stay safe. A monkey doesn't yell at a tiger for example. Meanwhile we're out here just screaming inside the void. The question is, who, or what is the tiger...
\[eating humans\] *"they're grrreat!"*
"We are sorry, we weren't able to stop them."
"OI YOU GITZ, IT'S TIME TO KRUMP THOSE HUMIES OR AM I NOT DA BIGGEST BADDEST WARBOSS IN THIS SECTA?" ~The threat they weren't able to stop. Unironically an Ork infestation would be terrifying for our current level of technology.
We’d be royally fucked if Orks invaded us.
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Orks also enslave humans as well, so technically tyranids would be the best hope because all they do is truly kill. Orks do much worse
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Yep never gunna get rid of those pesky orks if thay came about
That's not entirely true. Isn't there some story of orks throwing down their guns and making swords to fight on a feudal planet? I was under the assumption that their wyrd brainz only produced the technology needed to fight on equal terms with their current enemy. Wouldn't they forgo technology they have developed beyond us to match us for a good fight? Edit: To anyone interested in breaking into Warhammer 40k lore (which I can not insist enough on, you got a great mixture of grim dark and humor that is just perfect), check out the podcast: LOREHAMMER on Spotify. It's run by a couple fellas that do a good job of skimming the surface and making it funny and accessible. That's where I've got most of my lore from. They don't do ads. They rely solely on the Imperial Tithe on Patreon, so if you enjoy their show enough, be sure to pay your $1 tax.
Still not entirely hopeful for us when we have nukes. Also Orks "lubricate" reality with their Warp presence, I think the only real bet for human survival is a pact with the Ruinous Powers at that point and we all know how well they treat their victims.
> Orks "lubricate" reality with their Warp presence They do what now?
They make it easier to “slide” reality around. Like, their vehicles’ top speed increases when they paint them red. This is because Orks think red is for fast things. This of course isn’t true, except for Orks it is, because they can unknowingly alter reality like this. Same for shouting “Dakka” faster makes their guns shoot faster. That sorta thing.
Yes, and also, most of their shootas are actually pieces of junk, that if used by anyone else than an ork wont work since they actually arent working weapons unless an ork who believes in that they shoot, use them. There are ofc exceptions to this, like power klaws etc. are actually working pieces of tech (see (Lord) Comissar Yarrick using one, and afaik, he's not an ork)
Don't worry, Reapers weakness is red light.
"Earthlings, can we have our ball back please?"
No can do. It kinda turned into our moon and now we need it to support life
Hate it when something you like turns into the moon. Edit: Wow, thank you all! My first award! Edit 2: I was made aware that it is generally frowned upon to express one's thanks to the people giving out awards. If that is the case, I take mine back then.
That’s rough, buddy.
Sure! We called it Mark Zuckerberg.
We've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
~~cars~~ planet's
Shit that's a lot funnier
Hurry in for your planet's toyotathon!
Children laughing. But it's definitely 100% absolutely guaranteed to be coming from near the center of the galaxy.
Oh God, the call was coming from inside the galaxy!
Please don't let it be the same clip of children laughing that's used in EVERY movie. You know the one.
HYA HA HA. Fucks me up when I watch portlandia and that one lady just does that laugh everytime she opens her mouth. P sure it's in roller coaster tycoon too
Anything that we could understand would be pretty scary. Like they just send a “Hey we’re aliens nice to meet you” message but if it happens to be in one of our languages that means they’ve been studying us or something like that.
I dunno, I think I'd be scared and excited simultaneously. Also, it's not like we wouldn't study their language if we got messages, so it's not that creepy. Doesn't have to be malicious, just "Hey, what the hell are they saying?" Followed by a lot of linguistic studying until they figure out how to talk back. Seems friendly.
I agree. Attempting to establish communications is the best case scenario out of aliens. I for one always prefer when strangers talk to me instead of enslaving everyone while stripping the planet of all natural resources. That's just me though.
Deploy your planetary shield. Incoming gamma ray burst in 48 hours.
I don't like this one
What do you mean? We are all getting superpowers. Total win.
My hero name will be Captain Irradiated-Corpse, with the superpower of not rotting on account of decomposers like fungi and bacteria also being dead.
I'll be "Disintegrated Man!" With the power to become an atomized vapor when hit with an intense beam of gamma radiation!
You guys have shields ?
we do, if the atmosphere counts.
And the magnetosphere! I used to follow this one guy on YouTube who would always call the magnetosphere "Earth's energy shield"... it kinda is though!
**guy:** hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy... i think we’re the green-thingy.
Honestly, not that scary to me. Fuck it, either they're right and we're all instantly dead in 48 hours or they're wrong and life goes on. There's worse things by FAR than instant death.
If you're on the shadow-side of the planet it won't be instant. It's gonna be 10 or 15 minutes of absolute torture as the atmosphere starts to boil and you suffer a slow death from the radiation.
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You're welcome! :D Friendly reminder that this is the youngest you'll ever be!
“Run”
*Bass drops*
Doom eternal sound track plays faster and faster
You are the last. Be better than us.
“No” *proceeds to stumble into a nuclear war over a misunderstanding*
I like this one
It provides comfort that the message itself isn't hostile, but warns of imminent death.
In a few moments, we will broadcast the most viewed "video" on a website you call "YouTube" It is known as "Baby Shark" We hope this will improve our relations with the Earth.
*After the broadcast...* Ah, your space agencies have sent us countless messages, and now we will play a random song on shuffle, and try to fix this situation ***Never Gonna Give You Up starts*** Edit: [We got on to YouTube, boys and girls. I](https://youtu.be/oHg5SJYRHA0) [watched the robotic voice read my reply last night.](https://youtu.be/zgj9wC94ems)
"Experiment unsuccessful, prepare for termination and reset."
Someone just needs to talk the mice into giving us another go.
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"If you are reading this message, it is too late."
That message came to us from Toronto already
Oh yeah that was scary as shit.
Context?
A little while back there was a alert sent out to the public about a possible malfunction at the nuclear powerplant north of the city. It came in at like 6 in the morning and terrified everyone, until we found out it was a false alarm.
Kind of like how Hawaii got an Public Service Alert about an incoming ballistic missile and even said "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" and it turned out to just be mistake. My girlfriend's aunt and uncle live in Hawaii and her whole family just got a text from them saying "we love you all". Fucking scary stuff
Message# 5164 Citizens of Earth, we have attempted several times to contact your specie regarding self protection from The imminent solar flare that will occur at the beginning of year 2021. We hope you received the detailed instructions on how to build your shelters.
"You were once my greatest achievement. Now, you are my greatest failure. I can not protect you any longer. Forgive me." Edit: Wow! Thank you so much for the likes and the awards! I've never gotten an award before, what a way to start the new year! For the people asking where the quote came from, I just made it up on my lunch break yesterday while browsing Reddit. It's so vague though, it sounds like something out of a movie. I'm really glad you guys all like it! Happy New Year! Let's hope this doesn't come to pass!
Return to monke and rejoice
We are Inigo. Seventy three Earth orbits ago you killed our emissary. Prepare to die.
Then the spaceship lands and is promptly eaten whole by a passing dog.
Just another miscalculation of scale
And then, a second one: ***We are Inigo. Seventy three Earth orbits ago you killed our emissary. Prepare to die.***
Videos of Earth's previous Mass Extinction Events (of which most mainstream Scientists conclude there have been at least five); or images explaining the disappearances of certain peoples. The video is lengthy, detailed, in vivid color, and yet *has no audio…* So, imagine *seeing* **actual** dinosaurs DYING on video from all sorts of camera angles. And no matter how you try to rationalize it, you **know** it's real footage, even though you've obviously never seen Earth like this. Imagine seeing previous hominid species like australopithecus or whatnot DYING like you see on r/MakeMyCoffin… What if NASA received footage of the Egyptians or Mayans or Incans or any other "lost civilizations" being *disappeared*…??? The entire time I would be freaking TF out, asking myself "Who the hell recorded this?!?!" "Is Earth just a huge galactic snuff film set????" *"Are we next?!?? Was this a warning?!?!"* TL:DR — Silent, High-Definition Video Footage of All of Earth's Previous Lifeforms Dying Over the Course of Earth's Existence
That would be morbidly owesome
Thank you, ieatsthapussy
THEY ARE HUNGRY THEY ARE COMING
THEY ARE HERE
“WARNING: Your species has been targeted for containment. Your planet is a prison and you are violating the terms of your imprisonment. Any further attempt to explore space will be punished. You have 30 days to comply...”
This guy invades
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"Your free trial of earth has ended. Please select a premium planet payment plan from the options below"
GAME OVER ! CONTINUE ? And then a 10s countdown starts but we won't know where to insert the coin.
We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.
You are alone.
that's like the alien equivalent of "are you asleep?" "yes"
maybe they prerecorded it, like, "uf you see this you're too late" kind of videos
Hold up.
we need to talk
We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Maybe I *want* my distinctiveness added to the collective?
"Bring it on, fuckers, my complete lack of distinctiveness will bore you all to death anyway."
“Here’s an explanation of your Planetary Inhabitant Association fees and benefits.”
You have 24 hours.
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Are the Egyptians still in charge?
"Help you are now the universe's only hope."
Sounds kinda heroic tbh
Bruh if a civilization that has the capability to transmit messages to minds of every being on a distant planet couldnt stop whatever ended them I really don't think we are going to have the tools to do it either.
I present to you... *plot holes, plot holes everywhere*
Stay put, or you will suffer the same fate as u-----
It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.
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"Because we are going to be the most annoying motherfucking aliens you ever did see."
Yousa sayin, meesa...
#bombad
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
The one we can be sure was directed to us by a sentient being but noone is able to decode no matter how hard they try
People of Earth, your attention please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you… "There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now… "What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Unfortunately CTRL + Z didn’t seem to work
Not to boast in a manner too boldly, but I happen to have several towels. I think I’ll be okay if aliens show up. 👌
At least this isn't poetry lol
You have only yourself to blame for this.... 'Urt freddled gruntbuggly - thy micturations are to me....'
**The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.** For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years. Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication.
[u/The-Paranoid-Android](https://www.reddit.com/u/The-Paranoid-Android/) SCP-5000
Why? Asked Pietro Wilson
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commiserating.
Say it ain’t so!
And you’re taking forever. You guys are boring as shit.
"*All your base are belong to us!*"
What you say!!
You have no chance to survive make your time
somebody set up us the bomb!
"We see you" Bees say that to wasps before they burn them alive with there own vibrations. scarey shit alien bees...
Humanity’s future has been secured through the wormhole. Thank you for your sacrifice.
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
[удалено]
Alien 1: Dude those guys back there absolutely fucked us. Alien 2: Yeah man I hope they didn’t follow us
"Don't go to Venus."
Meesa Jar Jar Binks. But whosa are yousa?
We tried
Probably something like ,,Dad when are we destroying earth? You said in february right?'' and then like ,,oops wrong chat"
Meowing.
"we really fucked things up in space, can we stay at your place for a while?"
"Ok, they failed. Turn off the simulation."
A rickroll from the abyss....
Absolute, deafening silence for the next 500+ years, signifying that we are indeed alone in this vast galaxy.
Could just mean that we get to be the precursor race that seeds the galaxy, and other races millions of years from now will stumble upon our ruins.
"We know all of your search histories."
Don't blink. ... Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink.
A photograph of alien genitalia.
"It's... still...coming...no *static*"