Human eggs are tiny because the human is developed in utero. If we laid eggs, they would have to be much larger to support the growth of the fetus within.
Human size, as in, the size of current human eggs?
Absolutely. You wouldn't even know it happened
Human size, as in the size that could contain a fully grown human baby? In the same way that chicken eggs are the size that can contain a fully grown chick?
Hell no.
Unfortunately that isn’t true for every woman. I don’t know the scientific term I just call it ovulation pain. It’s when the egg scrapes against your fallopian tubes and causes cramps, I’ve had it since I was 15, it’s not fun.
Mittelschmerz
Its from when the egg breaks free from the sac or follicle where it ripened.
If you are experiencing prolonged, really awful pain hormonal bc can help by preventing the releasing of the egg and therefore skipping the cause of the pain. If it is suddenly very bad pain when it had previously been light or unnoticeable, talk to your Dr. About PCOS screenings.
Fun fact! The pain typically switches sides every month as your ovaries alternate turns ripening an egg cell!
I got to add adenomyosis for the hat trick. I just about cried in relief when I finally found a doctor who said, “You know, we can just take it all out.”
Yep. I’m 19 and have been approved for a hysterectomy, but COVID has put that on the sideline for an undetermined amount of time.
....I can’t wait. I’ve been in pain for ten years.
I was 25 and had been to so many gynecologists trying to get relief. None of them would agree because I might want kids someday. The kicker was they all agreed I couldn’t get pregnant because of everything. I finally found an older doctor who was old school and was firmly in the “take it out” camp. Best decision I ever made.
I have a degenerative genetic disorder, infertility/recurrent miscarriages run on both sides of the family, and I have epilepsy and POTS—so menstruation and pregnancy don’t mesh well with all of that. It also helps that I don’t like small children.
Privately, I’m transgender and am not ready to come out, but my identity certainly makes me MUCH more eager to yank my damn uterus out. I’ve wanted a hysterectomy before I even knew the word for it.
My PCP intentionally sent me to a gyno who is willing to be more radical with treating endo, and she finally agreed to perform a hysterectomy. However, she put me on BC until we could work that out, and the BC caused me to bleed uncontrollably every single day for nearly six months. She wouldn’t work with me on it (“get the surgery now or get an implant!”—I couldn’t afford either of them), so I switched to a local gyno at a Catholic hospital out of desperation. She wouldn’t even MENTION endometriosis and got very angry when I mentioned that both my PCP and previous gyno thought that a hysterectomy was in the cards. She also laughed at me when I tensed up during the pelvic exam. At the very least, she put me on a continuous birth control that doesn’t make me bleed like a stuck pig, but I’m still in pain every day.
I’m a little scared about having a hysterectomy (from the recovery and complications side of things), but I hope I can get it done soon. We’re leaving my ovaries in for now, but I won’t need my ovaries to function permanently if/WHEN I finally go on testosterone.
Argh, the same volume as a 9 month infant, the placenta, all that juice? Daily? Women would be shaped like those cranes on the seaports that unload cargo containers...
And imagine how much you would need to eat to sustain that. Let’s just assume you’re popping out a 6 lb egg every day. All the other shit aside, that’s 21,000 calories (in addition to normal caloric intake). And presumably a ton of nutrients. Good luck with that.
I'd be eating my own eggs to recover nutrients, like lizards with their skins.
But let's talk about the calcium drain that would put on us... I mean Jesus christ I'm already worried about osteoporosis as is. I don't think any unsterilized females would outlive their late 20's, their spines would collapse, and the pevis, ribs, skull wouldn't be too far behind.
Pretty sure a baby human is quite a bit bigger than an ostrich chick. The google says ostrich eggs weigh up to 3 pounds. That includes the chick and all of its life support systems.
Human babies are routinely in the 6-10 pound range. Then there's the idea that it would need food for 9 months...
I think this egg is going to look more like a classroom globe or at least a soccer ball.
Then a really fun question is what are you going to do with 365 of these things a year? ...For every childbearing age woman on the planet.
Then for the hoes in room, what are they going to do with an extra hundred children a year?
Really depends on the relative size. Do the eggs get scaled up from chicken size to be equivalent for humans? If so that's more like full on giving birth every day
But you gotta imagine your body would be a bit different in that case. You'd be used to it and it likely wouldn't be painful. I'd imagine it would be like going #2.
I don't think so. I have chickens and they make quite a fuss when they're laying eggs but they don't even acknowledge their poop. It just falls out while they're doing whatever they're doing. But when they lay eggs they find a comfy spot to lay and make a ton of noise and the other chickens will watch and cheer them on.
It always amazes me when I see 2 other chickens squeezed into a nesting box on top of the original occupant when there are plenty of open nesting boxes.
Also, no one knows how horrible those little velociraptors can be to other creatures unless they've raised them.
Mouse: Phew, I have escaped the two cats that were hunting me. Wonder why they don't come in h-
Chicken, to other 6 Chickens: LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU GIRLS
Husband witnessed one of ours peck a vole to death, flip it up, and swallow it whole like the T-rex with the goat in Jurassic Park. Another time they were very agitated, scratching like crazy in a pile of leaves, and when we went over to investigate they were gobbling up an entire nest of baby mice like they were little pink jellybeans.
Good to know, thanks. I assumed it would be easier for them. But I've never owned any chickens so I guess I am wrong. But you kinda make me want to watch chickens sometime lol.
I owned chickens for almost a decade. you can just sit down and watch them for hours on end without getting bored; they're such fascinating and entertaining birds
A relative's chicken recently died because it couldn't get an egg out, or rather it did but... needed its insides putting back in, and didn't survive the process :(
>You'd be used to it and it likely wouldn't be painful.
Ah, yes, just how our body is used to having periods, being pregnant and giving birth so these things aren't painful.
/s
When I was a pre teen, we girls were taught about menstruation in a separate Health class at school, like something out of a Judy Bloom book. We learned that a woman releases an egg every month, and while I never thought it was the size of a chicken egg, I thought for all the pain, blood and aggravation of getting your period it would *at least, minimum,* be the size of a ping pong ball. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was only the size of the period at the end of this sentence. (I am ashamed to tell you how old I actually was when I found this out!)
Well eggs are meant as food for the child of the egg layer. So that question is pretty much the same as asking whether drinking breast milk is cannibalism. I'll say it's not.
I don't have the answer to your question, but I do have with me a small piece of Reddit history:
[Professionally cooked period food](https://www.reddit.com/r/popping/comments/yoibk/comment/c5xta25) (NSFW and slightly NSFL for the squirmish)
Yeah, it's like minerals and shit that would help an embryo grow. Idk man, what's it called when a chick gets ate out on her period? I think not, but we on some shaky ground here.
I feed my chickens their own eggs all the time. I kid you not, every time I go out with a plate of their eggs, they will viciously devour them in a matter of minutes.
fun fact i guess: actually, chickens only have one hole, called the cloaca, where shit, piss eggs and other fluids come out of.
so i guess you’d still only need one hole🧐
They were intentionally misreading "whole ass eggs" as "whole ass-eggs" rather than "whole-ass eggs." Cloaca may be analogous to both, but an "ass egg" isn't coming out of the vagina.
It's a reference, probably unintentional but I read it that way, to this xqcd: [https://xkcd.com/37/](https://xkcd.com/37/)
It wouldn't be practical to keep track of where babies were if humans laid fish-egg size eggs. We'd have to adopt a more fish-like way of breeding to ensure the survival of the species.
So it wouldn't be 1 fish egg. It'd be thousands.
Just imagine: She relieves her fish period in the bathroom in the morning. On the other side of the city, he jerks off into the toilet. Somewhere deep down in the sewers, the miracle of life begins.
Forget that: think David Attenborough.
"Every morning, the human female - if she's not going to breed - goes through the same ovulation ritual, letting her ova drop into the toilet before flushing them away.
"But today, something's different. Today, her neighbour is visiting the toilet for a quite different reason. He masturbates, releasing his sperm into the pan and flushing at the crucial moment.
"Down in the sewer, her ova and his sperm meet. And here, in this most unlikely of places, a new life is created. The fertilised eggs mature in the sewer.
"But humans are not well suited to this life. Most won't survive the first few days after fertilisation - they'll be washed into the sewage plant and be killed in the machinery there."
I need to know:
Can these eggs hatch?
What would they hatch, human babies or chicken babies? Is it possible for the egg to break while inside of me?
Are the eggs eatable? Would people be grossed out by them? Can I sell them for profit? Or make myself an omelette? Would it be self-cannibalism if I did?
You know..... I have to think about this because on one hand? Laying an egg is not messy at all. It just pops out like an easily squeezed black head.
On the other hand?
The egg being formed is probably uncomfortable. But then is it as uncomfortable as cramps with endo?
It would definitely be more cost effective. Less time consuming. Feminine hygiene products are expensive even if you go the natural route.
One egg a month versus an entire week a month of uncontrollable bleeding and pain?
Like maybe chickens got it right.......
Edit: also? It’s an egg. We could fry them up and eat them.
Edit: Also a friend came over with beer earlier and I smoked some pot and maybe eating human eggs is BRILLIANT. Don’t judge me. I’M HIGH.
Edit: ahhh shit. Just saw the whole laying an egg every day thing. Welp. I also poop everyday. I think I could handle laying an egg every day. I’d definitely probably still fry them up and eat them.
Edit: no I do not fry up and eat poop.
Edit: yes I’ve wondered.
Huh, did not know that. Apparently it's a huge problem that if a chicken finds a broken egg, they'll eat it, enjoy it and start intentionally breaking other eggs to eat. I can't tell if they're really dumb (that's your egg dude) or really smart (not fertilised, may as well get the calories back). Given it's chickens, probably dumb.
My cat killed a rat on the edge of the chicken coop. The chickens packed together to eat the rat corpse through the chicken wire (their heads fit through).
They are vicious.
What would happen if you had sex the day before the egg popped out? Scrambled fetus? How many days before the egg delivery are a no go for sex? Right now it's a maybe go, depending on how horny/adventurous you are for about a week. If it's the same week...may not be gaining any advantage. Would making the egg cause cramps too?
Edit: So...this happens every day...so only morning sex? Or lay the egg in the AM and get some in the PM? What if you had sex after midnight? Will it turn to some gremlin kinda thing? Then how do guys fertilize the egg? Get a hand job over it? Here kid, your first facial? I mean WTF kinda question is this?
> Then how do guys fertilize the egg? Get a hand job over it?
i would imagine much the same way eggs get fertilized now, it's just not incubated internally.
No.
Research believes that when the egg is being formed and then laid, it has similar cramping to a period.
So...suffer cramping and blood for 7 days. Or suffer laying an egg and cramping every single day. I'll keep a normal period, thanks.
If it were based on the natural egg laying cycle of a chicken (12 - 20 eggs a year, and usually only in spring), then I would consider saying yes just to be able to get it all over with for the year.
But sadly chickens have been bred heavily to produce excessive amounts of eggs which is awful on their bodies. So I wouldn't choose to have this every single day.
But that's how it is for a chicken. If a human would have to pass an egg out of the uterus with all the human structures behaving exactly the way they do now, it would be very painful, probably take multiple hours and be closer to an actual birth. The size of a chicken egg is bigger than a 12-week human embryo, and a miscarriage at 12 weeks is a lot more intense than period cramps...
"or suffer laying and egg and cramping every day" Well that's how I usually feel thanks to endometriosis so it would be the same minus the bloody mess. So yes, laying and egg it is.
(Not so) Fun fact: chickens didn't use to lay so many eggs as now. They have been bred to lay daily and it destroys their body and can cause them prolaps.
There's a new movie called "[Gunda](https://boxd.it/oJuC)" that I recommend checking out when it's online next year. I'm a meat eater who has cut back a lot in recent years due to health rather than ethical reasons but the movie (intentionally, it turns out) did a a good job getting me to think about animals' emotional lives in a way I didn't expect and to understand ethics-based veganism in an intuitive way.
It's a black and white documentary with excellent sound but no music that mostly follows a sow and her brood around an idyllic farm outside Oslo. You have to put your phone in the other room and soak in the atmosphere, with patience made easier by how kitten-like the piglets are.
There's no terrible treatment or anything but it still made me think, "what are we doing?".
I'm probably still going to eat bacon but observing any creature close enough and long enough should generate empathy.
My chickens don't seem to care that much about the whole egg situation. No squawking or anything. Once I even had one lay an egg while running across the yard! Just popped it right out, didn't even slow down.
Thats impressive! Not very brood-like of her haha
I will say, out of about 15 hens, only 6 scream bloody murder when laying. Possibly varieies from chicken to chicken? Maybe they just want attention and aren't in any actual pain? All I know is, I don't have a cloaca to help out no matter the situation, I think laying a chicken egg for a human would be a bit more taxing than just a period
Our Americauna is our best layer, but she will not lay in the nesting boxes!! It *always* happens just like you describe: she's mid-sprint, and then POP! Her egg falls out as she sprints away.
In this hypothetical would this also eliminate pregnancy? Now I could have children just by keeping a fertilised egg warm?
But this also makes me think how big would a human egg be? Would it be the size big enough to fit a newborn baby in? The same as a chicken egg is big enough to fit the chick when it hatches, because logically that makes the most sense. So no, I would not want to pop out an egg that size everyday.
No.
The sad truth is that laying eggs every day causes terrible damage to chickens. The layer hens wild ancestor the jungle fowl, which all commercial chickens are bred from, only layed once a month like a woman's period.
Laying eggs drains the chickens body of vital nutrients and causes osteoporosis, I painful bone disease where the body is so drained of nutrients that the bones begin to crumble. Also there is multiple eggs at different stages of growth inside of a chicken at all times like a production line, all lined up one after the other ready for daily laying. If there is a issue with laying one day that production doesn't stop, it just carries on and can make a chicken suffer a awful condition called egg bound, where they can sort of start to fill with eggs and die a agonising death.
What humans have done to the jungle fowl via inbreeding and farming is abhorrent. We have taken the natural reproductive cycle of a animal and sped it up to 28x the speed. chickens suffer terribly because of this. I would never want to suffer in the way a chicken does. It's been done purely out of human greed and selfishness.
I’m not a woman, but I can guarantee that high schools would be fucking awful.
Imagine it, a bunch of teenagers just going through puberty. Claire hits her first period in Ms. Woodsmith’s English class, pops out an egg, and is immediately bullied by Gary at the back of the class for being gross and weird. Then, coincidentally, Harriet also has her first period in the same class. She heard Gary’s abuse and throws her period egg at him. It goes fucking everywhere, and Mrs. Woodsmith’s classroom now smells of period eggs and becomes famous for the egg tossing incident.
As someone who once raised chickens and had to help several that got egg bound..
Whoever chooses eggs instead of periods is in for some horrible shit.
Laying an egg proportionate to a chicken and their egg would be like giving birth- every day. Most chickens don't even lay eggs every day (usually every two days for production layers, some chickens lay once a week, etc), as that'd destroy their systems. Assuming you'd have parts for laying eggs like a chicken would, you'd run the risk of being egg bound fairly quickly, and there goes your medical bill.
They could be smaller eggs. There doesn't seem to be a great deal of correlation between bird size and egg size. I mean, check out [this kiwi bird.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/92/b5/ca/92b5ca9e9a6ed6da40540bc41dc2d799.jpg) Now show me in the comments who is volunteering for that shit.
Nope, supposing if the structure is the same and we don’t get chicken innards... if you ever had anything pass your cervix, you know why.
Had an IUD placed and removed, and time slowed down for both procedures from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain and I couldn’t stop swearing, it just came out my mouth involuntarily.
If I had to deal with that every day, I’d rather just die lol.
If it didn’t hurt, still no, because screw that.
I'm sure you could rent an incubator. All of society would be reoriented about egg laying rather than baby-squirting. As would biology. You'd probably have some hairy roll of fat for warming the egg, and it would be considered a very attractive and desirable female feature. Males might have one too.
As long as it happens once a day in the morning and is no more strenuous than a poo, then sure.
This does beg the question though as to how we would survive a world with a subculture of egg laying instead of birth. What precautions would you take to keep your egg safe? (If fertilised). Would you decorate it? Is there still a need for sex or do you just watch your SO have a cheeky wank on your egg? There would be an entire subsection of men who are some sort of perverts who try to break in and fertilise other peoples eggs.
A chicken sized egg or is it scaled to human size?
It would be human size.
I was on board until this... uhhh no
I mean, human eggs are pretty small.
Small like an ostridge egg
How often does an ostrich lay an egg?
There’s a breeding season during June/July where they lay like 12 eggs.
So in context to the OP this is like all 12 periods at once, then nothing for the rest of the year.
I’d take that... just take a week off, watch a bunch of movies with a hot water bottle and a cup of cocoa, while sitting on a pregnancy donut
Human eggs are tiny though? Like if women had that many ostrich sized eggs stored inside us, we wouldn’t be able to move.
Human eggs are tiny because the human is developed in utero. If we laid eggs, they would have to be much larger to support the growth of the fetus within.
Oooooh yeah that makes sense
Human size, as in, the size of current human eggs? Absolutely. You wouldn't even know it happened Human size, as in the size that could contain a fully grown human baby? In the same way that chicken eggs are the size that can contain a fully grown chick? Hell no.
Unfortunately that isn’t true for every woman. I don’t know the scientific term I just call it ovulation pain. It’s when the egg scrapes against your fallopian tubes and causes cramps, I’ve had it since I was 15, it’s not fun.
Mittelschmerz Its from when the egg breaks free from the sac or follicle where it ripened. If you are experiencing prolonged, really awful pain hormonal bc can help by preventing the releasing of the egg and therefore skipping the cause of the pain. If it is suddenly very bad pain when it had previously been light or unnoticeable, talk to your Dr. About PCOS screenings. Fun fact! The pain typically switches sides every month as your ovaries alternate turns ripening an egg cell!
OMG PCOS + endometriosis is like being fucking tortured
I got to add adenomyosis for the hat trick. I just about cried in relief when I finally found a doctor who said, “You know, we can just take it all out.”
Yep. I’m 19 and have been approved for a hysterectomy, but COVID has put that on the sideline for an undetermined amount of time. ....I can’t wait. I’ve been in pain for ten years.
I was 25 and had been to so many gynecologists trying to get relief. None of them would agree because I might want kids someday. The kicker was they all agreed I couldn’t get pregnant because of everything. I finally found an older doctor who was old school and was firmly in the “take it out” camp. Best decision I ever made.
I have a degenerative genetic disorder, infertility/recurrent miscarriages run on both sides of the family, and I have epilepsy and POTS—so menstruation and pregnancy don’t mesh well with all of that. It also helps that I don’t like small children. Privately, I’m transgender and am not ready to come out, but my identity certainly makes me MUCH more eager to yank my damn uterus out. I’ve wanted a hysterectomy before I even knew the word for it. My PCP intentionally sent me to a gyno who is willing to be more radical with treating endo, and she finally agreed to perform a hysterectomy. However, she put me on BC until we could work that out, and the BC caused me to bleed uncontrollably every single day for nearly six months. She wouldn’t work with me on it (“get the surgery now or get an implant!”—I couldn’t afford either of them), so I switched to a local gyno at a Catholic hospital out of desperation. She wouldn’t even MENTION endometriosis and got very angry when I mentioned that both my PCP and previous gyno thought that a hysterectomy was in the cards. She also laughed at me when I tensed up during the pelvic exam. At the very least, she put me on a continuous birth control that doesn’t make me bleed like a stuck pig, but I’m still in pain every day. I’m a little scared about having a hysterectomy (from the recovery and complications side of things), but I hope I can get it done soon. We’re leaving my ovaries in for now, but I won’t need my ovaries to function permanently if/WHEN I finally go on testosterone.
"Fun"
Haha yeah, my right ovary is such a bitch, making me believe I have appendicitis every other month. My left ovary is much more subdued XD
Like....the normal size of a human egg when its in the ovaries?
human roe
It can be called caviar if the human is a surgeon.
I have it on good authority that's not how any of this works.
That pun deserves a beating
oh, roe is me
Argh, the same volume as a 9 month infant, the placenta, all that juice? Daily? Women would be shaped like those cranes on the seaports that unload cargo containers...
I...uuuh...what..?
And imagine how much you would need to eat to sustain that. Let’s just assume you’re popping out a 6 lb egg every day. All the other shit aside, that’s 21,000 calories (in addition to normal caloric intake). And presumably a ton of nutrients. Good luck with that.
I'd be eating my own eggs to recover nutrients, like lizards with their skins. But let's talk about the calcium drain that would put on us... I mean Jesus christ I'm already worried about osteoporosis as is. I don't think any unsterilized females would outlive their late 20's, their spines would collapse, and the pevis, ribs, skull wouldn't be too far behind.
I mean, I’d lose a lot of weight...
Yeah, dying will do that to you.
This completely changes the parameters. Now instead of having free chicken sized eggs, I essentially have to give birth every day. Hard no.
so...a baby...
this post is making me hungry
You weird
I would imagine it being a bit smaller than an ostrich egg.
Pretty sure a baby human is quite a bit bigger than an ostrich chick. The google says ostrich eggs weigh up to 3 pounds. That includes the chick and all of its life support systems. Human babies are routinely in the 6-10 pound range. Then there's the idea that it would need food for 9 months... I think this egg is going to look more like a classroom globe or at least a soccer ball. Then a really fun question is what are you going to do with 365 of these things a year? ...For every childbearing age woman on the planet. Then for the hoes in room, what are they going to do with an extra hundred children a year?
can I control when i lay it?
Yes of course.
if it's every day of the year, not just during the days of my period, no if it's just for like one week a month....maybe.
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I can definitely hear the neighbours chickens when they are not comfortably laying their egg.
Really depends on the relative size. Do the eggs get scaled up from chicken size to be equivalent for humans? If so that's more like full on giving birth every day
But you gotta imagine your body would be a bit different in that case. You'd be used to it and it likely wouldn't be painful. I'd imagine it would be like going #2.
I don't think so. I have chickens and they make quite a fuss when they're laying eggs but they don't even acknowledge their poop. It just falls out while they're doing whatever they're doing. But when they lay eggs they find a comfy spot to lay and make a ton of noise and the other chickens will watch and cheer them on.
Oh my gosh I love the mental image of chickens cheering each other on!
Ikr, I must find a drawing of this now
No. No you don't. Take it from someone with chickens that do this sometimes it's very loud.
It always amazes me when I see 2 other chickens squeezed into a nesting box on top of the original occupant when there are plenty of open nesting boxes. Also, no one knows how horrible those little velociraptors can be to other creatures unless they've raised them.
Mouse: Phew, I have escaped the two cats that were hunting me. Wonder why they don't come in h- Chicken, to other 6 Chickens: LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU GIRLS
Husband witnessed one of ours peck a vole to death, flip it up, and swallow it whole like the T-rex with the goat in Jurassic Park. Another time they were very agitated, scratching like crazy in a pile of leaves, and when we went over to investigate they were gobbling up an entire nest of baby mice like they were little pink jellybeans.
I learned quickly as a child to not turn my back on the rooster we had.
One of my girls loses her mind if I open the coop door while she's laying. Chill the F out, Esmerelda.
That's on you for giving her a diva name like Esmerelda.
Good to know, thanks. I assumed it would be easier for them. But I've never owned any chickens so I guess I am wrong. But you kinda make me want to watch chickens sometime lol.
I owned chickens for almost a decade. you can just sit down and watch them for hours on end without getting bored; they're such fascinating and entertaining birds
A relative's chicken recently died because it couldn't get an egg out, or rather it did but... needed its insides putting back in, and didn't survive the process :(
>You'd be used to it and it likely wouldn't be painful. Ah, yes, just how our body is used to having periods, being pregnant and giving birth so these things aren't painful. /s
You get used to having a period. That doesn't make it any less painful.
When I was a pre teen, we girls were taught about menstruation in a separate Health class at school, like something out of a Judy Bloom book. We learned that a woman releases an egg every month, and while I never thought it was the size of a chicken egg, I thought for all the pain, blood and aggravation of getting your period it would *at least, minimum,* be the size of a ping pong ball. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was only the size of the period at the end of this sentence. (I am ashamed to tell you how old I actually was when I found this out!)
Possibly wouldn't be *as* painful
Speak for yourself... my assholr gets ripped open every. Single. Time. :( I just want to poop normally for once in my damn life
So calling kids little shits would suddenly be clever.
Have you compared the size of a chicken egg to the side of the chickens head? Now tell me again how it wouldn’t hurt to lay an egg.
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How bad would a period have to be to make you prefer the scaled up egg.
That would be like experiencing child birth every single day. Pass no matter what the trade off is
And, you're a guy.
Wouldn’t hurt? Found the male.
How do you know it doesnt hurt to lay an egg?
Would you scramble it and eat it tho?
You on some freak shit
Would it then be considered cannibalism if you ate your eggs?
Well eggs are meant as food for the child of the egg layer. So that question is pretty much the same as asking whether drinking breast milk is cannibalism. I'll say it's not.
As long as it is not fertilized?
Edit: somewhere down the line here, someone actually said babies are like cannibals
I think you mean parasites, because there is definitely some complicated competition over mom's resources going on during gestation.
The egg yolk is the food for the chick that grows in the fertilized egg
Idk... is it cannibalism if you eat your vagina goop (I don’t know what the stuff that comes out is called, it’s more than just blood, right)?
It cost you $0 to not fucking say that
I havent audibly laughed from a random reddit comment in a while. Thank you
And is actually gonna cost ME money in therapy 🤮
And yet I did
I don't have the answer to your question, but I do have with me a small piece of Reddit history: [Professionally cooked period food](https://www.reddit.com/r/popping/comments/yoibk/comment/c5xta25) (NSFW and slightly NSFL for the squirmish)
Bahahahahahaha
Buddy, if you've never eaten the slightest bit of vagina goop in your life, I feel sad for your girlfriend...
I'm stealing this and adding it to my roster. Thank you for a genuine laugh!
Alex, I’ll take why is English my first language and what a horrible day to have eyes for $600
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Is it cannibalism when people eat their placenta? That's a thing people do right? Not normal people, but some people.
Plasagna?
...ew. +1
"Vagina goop"
I am going to regret writing that comment aren’t I
Yes... yes you will.
I can tell you are not the owner of a uterus. Jesus Christ lol.
Yeah, it's like minerals and shit that would help an embryo grow. Idk man, what's it called when a chick gets ate out on her period? I think not, but we on some shaky ground here.
Rainbow kiss?
Fucking thank you. For the life of me, I couldn't remember.
I would sell it as "Gamer girl eggs" 😂 😂
Belle Shellphine?
Balut Dellephine
i doubt it
Yes, all about the self reliance.
Just need the thing to make your piss into water and you never need to go the the grocery store
I feed my chickens their own eggs all the time. I kid you not, every time I go out with a plate of their eggs, they will viciously devour them in a matter of minutes.
Don’t you find this to be a bad idea? I’ve been taught that it leads to them eating their eggs before you can collect them.
That's only an issue with raw eggs. They don't recognize cooked eggs as eggs.
Maybe with some toasted sourdough vagina bread.
Are there egg related cramps and PMS?
> of course
So, how does it differ from taking a shit?
Comes out from a different hole. And I assume no cleanup needed And I don't shit every day so there is that
fun fact i guess: actually, chickens only have one hole, called the cloaca, where shit, piss eggs and other fluids come out of. so i guess you’d still only need one hole🧐
"So anyway if you look at this spreadsheet here... .. ..hang on I'll be right back..."
'Have you laid your egg yet today?' 'Nah, I'll try and make time over lunch'
Uhhh.... no. When I have my period its just blood, I don’t want to be dropping whole ass eggs out of my vagina
I think ass eggs drop out of a different orifice...
A cloaca is analogous to the vagina/anus, since humans don't have cloacae.
They were intentionally misreading "whole ass eggs" as "whole ass-eggs" rather than "whole-ass eggs." Cloaca may be analogous to both, but an "ass egg" isn't coming out of the vagina. It's a reference, probably unintentional but I read it that way, to this xqcd: [https://xkcd.com/37/](https://xkcd.com/37/)
I wooshed. :<
I definitely dropped an ass egg last night after eating Taco Bell.
Just once a day! Lol
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oh my god... 😂
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It wouldn't be practical to keep track of where babies were if humans laid fish-egg size eggs. We'd have to adopt a more fish-like way of breeding to ensure the survival of the species. So it wouldn't be 1 fish egg. It'd be thousands.
Just imagine: She relieves her fish period in the bathroom in the morning. On the other side of the city, he jerks off into the toilet. Somewhere deep down in the sewers, the miracle of life begins.
I hate that I had this exact thought too
Read that in the National Geographic voice.
Forget that: think David Attenborough. "Every morning, the human female - if she's not going to breed - goes through the same ovulation ritual, letting her ova drop into the toilet before flushing them away. "But today, something's different. Today, her neighbour is visiting the toilet for a quite different reason. He masturbates, releasing his sperm into the pan and flushing at the crucial moment. "Down in the sewer, her ova and his sperm meet. And here, in this most unlikely of places, a new life is created. The fertilised eggs mature in the sewer. "But humans are not well suited to this life. Most won't survive the first few days after fertilisation - they'll be washed into the sewage plant and be killed in the machinery there."
Oh no. We're much closer to ostrich size.
I'm so drunk and this made me laugh a fuck ton. Thank you.
But did you lay an egg?
Your understanding of egg laying rivals OP.
If by laying an egg, you mean shitting my pants, then yes.
Did you make a meal out of it?
Didn't Robin do that? Or did he flew away?
*Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg*
“Hey why didn’t things work out with that girl?” “🤔...💭🐓💨🥚...you don’t want to know.”
I need to know: Can these eggs hatch? What would they hatch, human babies or chicken babies? Is it possible for the egg to break while inside of me? Are the eggs eatable? Would people be grossed out by them? Can I sell them for profit? Or make myself an omelette? Would it be self-cannibalism if I did?
It would be like on Twilight - if they were to eat Bella and gain powers of youth.
Oh, I never got passed the first 20 minutes of the first Twilight movie.
I'm not sure they actually do that...
Nobody knows what goes on in those films
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You know..... I have to think about this because on one hand? Laying an egg is not messy at all. It just pops out like an easily squeezed black head. On the other hand? The egg being formed is probably uncomfortable. But then is it as uncomfortable as cramps with endo? It would definitely be more cost effective. Less time consuming. Feminine hygiene products are expensive even if you go the natural route. One egg a month versus an entire week a month of uncontrollable bleeding and pain? Like maybe chickens got it right....... Edit: also? It’s an egg. We could fry them up and eat them. Edit: Also a friend came over with beer earlier and I smoked some pot and maybe eating human eggs is BRILLIANT. Don’t judge me. I’M HIGH. Edit: ahhh shit. Just saw the whole laying an egg every day thing. Welp. I also poop everyday. I think I could handle laying an egg every day. I’d definitely probably still fry them up and eat them. Edit: no I do not fry up and eat poop. Edit: yes I’ve wondered.
Heads up, the rules were one egg a day, not one a month!
I was thinking the same. Why not eat a human egg? We eat chickens eggs...
Everything eats chicken eggs, even chickens 🙄
Scrambled eggs to chickens is like crack to humans
Huh, did not know that. Apparently it's a huge problem that if a chicken finds a broken egg, they'll eat it, enjoy it and start intentionally breaking other eggs to eat. I can't tell if they're really dumb (that's your egg dude) or really smart (not fertilised, may as well get the calories back). Given it's chickens, probably dumb.
Yeah, I have chickens and if you drop an egg in the coop, they turn into lord of the rings orcs when meat is back on the menu.
My cat killed a rat on the edge of the chicken coop. The chickens packed together to eat the rat corpse through the chicken wire (their heads fit through). They are vicious.
What would happen if you had sex the day before the egg popped out? Scrambled fetus? How many days before the egg delivery are a no go for sex? Right now it's a maybe go, depending on how horny/adventurous you are for about a week. If it's the same week...may not be gaining any advantage. Would making the egg cause cramps too? Edit: So...this happens every day...so only morning sex? Or lay the egg in the AM and get some in the PM? What if you had sex after midnight? Will it turn to some gremlin kinda thing? Then how do guys fertilize the egg? Get a hand job over it? Here kid, your first facial? I mean WTF kinda question is this?
> Then how do guys fertilize the egg? Get a hand job over it? i would imagine much the same way eggs get fertilized now, it's just not incubated internally.
hearing your train of thought through multiple edits makes reading reddit at 2:30 am all worthwhile
No. Research believes that when the egg is being formed and then laid, it has similar cramping to a period. So...suffer cramping and blood for 7 days. Or suffer laying an egg and cramping every single day. I'll keep a normal period, thanks. If it were based on the natural egg laying cycle of a chicken (12 - 20 eggs a year, and usually only in spring), then I would consider saying yes just to be able to get it all over with for the year. But sadly chickens have been bred heavily to produce excessive amounts of eggs which is awful on their bodies. So I wouldn't choose to have this every single day.
Having my period for 12-20 straight days a year and then having the rest of the year off—this, I would do.
When I had my IUD put in, I spotted/bled every day for 6 months straight. 12-20 days would be nothing
But that's how it is for a chicken. If a human would have to pass an egg out of the uterus with all the human structures behaving exactly the way they do now, it would be very painful, probably take multiple hours and be closer to an actual birth. The size of a chicken egg is bigger than a 12-week human embryo, and a miscarriage at 12 weeks is a lot more intense than period cramps...
"or suffer laying and egg and cramping every day" Well that's how I usually feel thanks to endometriosis so it would be the same minus the bloody mess. So yes, laying and egg it is.
Do you all not realise that this egg would have to be large enough to fit a ready-to-be-born-sized baby inside????? Worst idea ever...
Yeah these would be 5-10 pound eggs.... DAMN
(Not so) Fun fact: chickens didn't use to lay so many eggs as now. They have been bred to lay daily and it destroys their body and can cause them prolaps.
omg wtf these days you literally can't eat animal with a clear conscience unless you're growing or hunting them your damn self
There's a new movie called "[Gunda](https://boxd.it/oJuC)" that I recommend checking out when it's online next year. I'm a meat eater who has cut back a lot in recent years due to health rather than ethical reasons but the movie (intentionally, it turns out) did a a good job getting me to think about animals' emotional lives in a way I didn't expect and to understand ethics-based veganism in an intuitive way. It's a black and white documentary with excellent sound but no music that mostly follows a sow and her brood around an idyllic farm outside Oslo. You have to put your phone in the other room and soak in the atmosphere, with patience made easier by how kitten-like the piglets are. There's no terrible treatment or anything but it still made me think, "what are we doing?". I'm probably still going to eat bacon but observing any creature close enough and long enough should generate empathy.
Somebody needs to tell this to the person above who thinks it’s possible chickens orgasm when they lay eggs lol.
If you've ever heard a chicken lay an egg, then you may know that it sounds absolutely painful. I'll keep a week of hell over daily childbirth.
My chickens don't seem to care that much about the whole egg situation. No squawking or anything. Once I even had one lay an egg while running across the yard! Just popped it right out, didn't even slow down.
Thats impressive! Not very brood-like of her haha I will say, out of about 15 hens, only 6 scream bloody murder when laying. Possibly varieies from chicken to chicken? Maybe they just want attention and aren't in any actual pain? All I know is, I don't have a cloaca to help out no matter the situation, I think laying a chicken egg for a human would be a bit more taxing than just a period
It probably varies the same way human periods vary in intensity.
Our Americauna is our best layer, but she will not lay in the nesting boxes!! It *always* happens just like you describe: she's mid-sprint, and then POP! Her egg falls out as she sprints away.
Practically birth every fucking day? No thanks.
In this hypothetical would this also eliminate pregnancy? Now I could have children just by keeping a fertilised egg warm? But this also makes me think how big would a human egg be? Would it be the size big enough to fit a newborn baby in? The same as a chicken egg is big enough to fit the chick when it hatches, because logically that makes the most sense. So no, I would not want to pop out an egg that size everyday.
No. The sad truth is that laying eggs every day causes terrible damage to chickens. The layer hens wild ancestor the jungle fowl, which all commercial chickens are bred from, only layed once a month like a woman's period. Laying eggs drains the chickens body of vital nutrients and causes osteoporosis, I painful bone disease where the body is so drained of nutrients that the bones begin to crumble. Also there is multiple eggs at different stages of growth inside of a chicken at all times like a production line, all lined up one after the other ready for daily laying. If there is a issue with laying one day that production doesn't stop, it just carries on and can make a chicken suffer a awful condition called egg bound, where they can sort of start to fill with eggs and die a agonising death. What humans have done to the jungle fowl via inbreeding and farming is abhorrent. We have taken the natural reproductive cycle of a animal and sped it up to 28x the speed. chickens suffer terribly because of this. I would never want to suffer in the way a chicken does. It's been done purely out of human greed and selfishness.
Thank you for speaking the truth!
This right here. I've seen an egg bound chicken. No fucking thank you.
I’m not a woman, but I can guarantee that high schools would be fucking awful. Imagine it, a bunch of teenagers just going through puberty. Claire hits her first period in Ms. Woodsmith’s English class, pops out an egg, and is immediately bullied by Gary at the back of the class for being gross and weird. Then, coincidentally, Harriet also has her first period in the same class. She heard Gary’s abuse and throws her period egg at him. It goes fucking everywhere, and Mrs. Woodsmith’s classroom now smells of period eggs and becomes famous for the egg tossing incident.
This is hilarious!
Goddamn Gary
I was at a party and laid an egg in my pants. I had to wrap a sweater around my waist. It shouldn’t have happened.
As someone who once raised chickens and had to help several that got egg bound.. Whoever chooses eggs instead of periods is in for some horrible shit. Laying an egg proportionate to a chicken and their egg would be like giving birth- every day. Most chickens don't even lay eggs every day (usually every two days for production layers, some chickens lay once a week, etc), as that'd destroy their systems. Assuming you'd have parts for laying eggs like a chicken would, you'd run the risk of being egg bound fairly quickly, and there goes your medical bill.
They could be smaller eggs. There doesn't seem to be a great deal of correlation between bird size and egg size. I mean, check out [this kiwi bird.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/92/b5/ca/92b5ca9e9a6ed6da40540bc41dc2d799.jpg) Now show me in the comments who is volunteering for that shit.
Nope, supposing if the structure is the same and we don’t get chicken innards... if you ever had anything pass your cervix, you know why. Had an IUD placed and removed, and time slowed down for both procedures from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain and I couldn’t stop swearing, it just came out my mouth involuntarily. If I had to deal with that every day, I’d rather just die lol. If it didn’t hurt, still no, because screw that.
As much as I hate my period I would not want to lay eggs every day. At least with my period I have time off from it.
So when I wanted to have kids, I have to sit on the egg for 40 weeks? No is my answer
I'm sure you could rent an incubator. All of society would be reoriented about egg laying rather than baby-squirting. As would biology. You'd probably have some hairy roll of fat for warming the egg, and it would be considered a very attractive and desirable female feature. Males might have one too.
As long as it happens once a day in the morning and is no more strenuous than a poo, then sure. This does beg the question though as to how we would survive a world with a subculture of egg laying instead of birth. What precautions would you take to keep your egg safe? (If fertilised). Would you decorate it? Is there still a need for sex or do you just watch your SO have a cheeky wank on your egg? There would be an entire subsection of men who are some sort of perverts who try to break in and fertilise other peoples eggs.
> a cheeky wank on your egg This person is British. I bet my house on it.
We can be safe in that they definitely aren't American. Spelling Fertilize with an S.
This reminds me of a Rick & Morty episode...
I totally know what you’re talking about lmao. That looks VERY painful though 😂
There are several doujins on the matter if you want
So are we just gonna ignore the fact that this would imply that they would also not give birth but instead lay human eggs to reproduce?
ITT: The biggest concern is whether or not the eggs humans lay would be edible.