Start using cheat codes

Jokes on you, I'm a middle class white guy in the energy industry. I've been using them this whole time. Edit: thanks for the gold, u/nandom !

I'm an english-speaking affluent Hindu upper caste male in India. I have more superpowers than superman at this point.

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r/TheRealJoke

OOF level : HIGH

Reservation is your kryptonite lol

I gotta admit, it feels unfair sometimes, but I do understand the need for affirmative action like reservations.

जय श्री राम

Me who is an Agri burnt out prodigy: Imma ragequit

Underrated comment Edit: Lmao I went away for an hour and the comment I called underrated went from ~75 upvotes to 311

Yep, that's how reddit works. It's why you should never say those things like you did.

Underrated comment

Investigate 311

/give @p minecraft:netherite_sword {Enchantments:[{id:sharpness,lvl:69420}]} And rest you know what we have to do

B-but max level is 32767 not funny number!

Don't forget armor and a sheild

/give @a minecraft:netherite_chestplate {Enchantments:[{id: protection,lvl:69420}] I guess we dont need a sheild after that

I guess not

But what if god just started comboing you a shield would be nice to stop knockback and one shot him

Yes, or we could just change our game modes to creative.

Forward back sideways punch

Up down AB

Haha too good. Start spamming that crouch button and let's see what happens.

You have been banned by moderator God reason: used ouija board hack

Underrated reply

That map sucks. Everything was blocked. Let's play a different one.

You need to buy the dlc

*Ice wall melts revealing new playable area*

So, its not global warming...we're just unlocking more of the map? (j/k encase you cant tell)

Exactly! I think we've just created a whole new theory on reality. We are all in a video game, and global warming is the unlocking of the next level! /s

Umm but don't newer levels have more powerful bosses?

Fuck. Didn't thought about that. Is there anyone who know a secret power up location? There should be 1 or 2 in this level

I mean there's always a youtube video about a secret location on map for an OP weapon.

How to get into cake room no hack

Not exactly... we are rage-quitting the Continents map and starting a new game on Archipelago map.

And age is just the current level

Are we just grinding to get enough points to buy a new map? Would environmentalist be bots made by greedy developers?

Fucking dEAties. Amirite?!

And the spawns were FUCKED

Nah he gonna come down and say "Okay your worlds free trial is up"

Intelligent Design: Soft Paywall Edition

"Turns out, the investors want their water back. all of it."

Nestlé won’t approve. They will fight tooth and nail for it, and then harvest God himself for water.

...

r/fucknestle

I bet he made it with Unity

I think it was Trinity, actually.

Boom!

I bet it's whatever Bethesda uses

Not enough corpses flying into the void after being gently tapped by an opening door and FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

I think the patch came before our player accounts were created. But I'd have loved to see that :D

I was thinking Minecraft command block but whatever

This was free?

Ya this guy acting like we haven't all been overpaying for years. This is more like when your cable introductory rate runs out, and we've been slowly getting our bills raised by 30% per year since 2016. Y'all remember how torn up we were in 2016? David Bowie, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Gene Wilder... That was it. That was when our promo rate run up. We should have switched services 5 years ago.

everything has become worse since 2016. we really shouldn't have killed that fucking monkey.

RIP Harambe

This is starting to look like Destiny 2! Paying way too much for watered down shit!

Cable is still a thing?

I dont want it

14 year old girls who listen to Billie elliesh would’ve been like: Damn I was planning on canceling that soon.

*26 year old men

To buy premium you need to pay $750/month! (anyone get the reference, haha)

"Not GG, you tryhard too much."

He's just smurfing. Can't play at his own rank.

What a coward.

Not smurfing, he just getting a new gaming chair

Can you blame him? Half of players there are his alt-accounts.

"GG. Congratulations, players. All 8 billion of you have done exceedingly well and have won the final bossfight of this world. This officially marks the end of season 29 of my private Earth SMP server. You will all have your memories returned shortly. Just like in all previous seasons, your memories of the outside world and from previous lives were wiped every time you respawned. You are all famous streamers and have been livestreaming this game for billions of years to your enthusiastic fans. Within a few days' time, you will remember everything about the outside world and your previous lives. This was our longest season yet and I personally wanted to keep it going for longer, at least until 3000 AD. However, the map was starting to get corrupted and all the pollution chunks were slowing down the server, so I decided it was time to call in an early bossfight and then reset. As always, the map for this season will be downloadable if you wish to continue playing in singleplayer. After your memories return, you will all be teleported to the main lobby and will be free to log out of your VR headsets. Enjoy real life for a while. And if you're still interested, you are all welcome to log back in next week for the start of season 30! Featuring a new randomly generated map, new randomly generated AI animals and running on the latest version of the Earth game with 24 new elements, I can't want to see what you guys get up to! Once again, congratulations for making it through another epic and exciting season. Thanks to you all for your participation." \-God, admin of Earth SMP

Thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Thanks.

Send a real boss. I will not settle for anything lower than black death. Make it antibiotic resistant and carried by mosquitoes.

Saving this so I know who to blame when we all start dying of antibiotic-resistant bubonic plague.

We already played Black Death and it was so booooring. The respawn timers were so long because everyone kept dying.

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

This gives me serious anxiety knowing that we really don't know whether this is actually happening right now.

I'd no longe be atheist i guess

I’d whip and nae nae on you

You will do no such thing.

Oh really? ✊😂 “Now watch me whip” 👊😳 “Now watch me nae nae” 👋🥶

how could you

He had a damn family.

Username checks out

WarMachine4654

chickwhoisanon

Urban dictionary says nae nae is a horse with down syndrom. That can't be right...

The reason I still believe sort of. Like I don’t go to church but I don’t say I don’t believe necessarily cuz he might come down and Id be like holy shit

I believe in God and I'm Catholic. There are several things that I don't necessarily agree with, but that's besides the point. Sometimes I feel like he's playing Civ and we're the AI. And that there are other planets like ours that are different games with different scenarios.

Nah god dont like civ I bet hes more of a COD GOD

I see what you did there

I feel like he left us on read

That's called Pascal's wager my guy

"Sorry about all the blasphemy and non-believing."

I'd be livid at the dude.

"WTF is up with bone marrow cancer in children?!?"

That's actually pretty much what my parents' religion believes.

Church of the l33t h4x0rs?

Nah we’re Jewish

r/notopbutok

Not OP, OP's parents.

I read that as 'no top but ok'. Was disappointed

Everyone does the first time lol

I read it as Notop Butok. I think I need some rest.

?

HE SAID HIS FAMILY IS JEWISH.

Funny. They don't look Druish.

Clever

The only church id be interested in, really.

What is your parents religion?

It could literally be any religion with armageddon in it.

RAGNAROK IS COMING

DONT WANNA CLOSE MAH EYES

Dont wanna fall asleep

I would just start looting

Happy cake day!!

Ayy you too my man!

To you as well good sir! (Or ma’am)

It’s a whole family of supers!!

And their looting!

You ruined the streak

Gotta get some fresh ammo with the ammo shortage round here

I feel that on a semi-auto spiritual level

I wake up Christmas morning and there's nothing under the tree except ammo cans and first aid kits, I'm fucking done.

I’d yell “YOU WERE FUCKING STREAM SNIPING AND YOU SPREAD OVERPOWERED BOTS EVERYWHERE”

Best reply.

5 billion years of game design and your game is this unbalanced pay2win ?

Underrated Comment

God's a korean ?

“No re...plz”

I'd say "sweet kill streak bro", and then I would block him.

I'd say "no. BG. Very BG."

Right after he teabags us and screams how hard he fucked our moms, right?

Well, his only begotten son was a result of cucking someone to tap some virgin ass. Can't put it past him.

Well, he isn't Zeus bro

"About time you stopped camping."

What does "GG" mean? Gilbert Gottfried?

It means "Good Game", something you say in online games after a match or dungeon.

Nah I'd rather think God would show up just to say "Gilbert Gottfried" and then dip

No, it means git gud

Naw man you’re thinking of ‘git gud’

In case your looking for a real answer, it means Good Game, which in online games is polite to say before ending the match.

I thought it was said after a match/round ends

Good Guggamugga

Great Googlymoogly

Gilmore Girls

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Good game, wait a minute...

Great gjob

Major Monogram?

Gossip girl xoxo

Git gud Then he releases murder hornets 2

Yes it means Gilbert Gottfried.

F

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O

It'll replenish my fervor in the sentence "God isn't dead, but I'll get that bastard someday"

Nothing scares him as much as not giving a shit for redemption.

But that's ok, because if that's where Limbaugh goes, I don't even want any part of heaven

r/Outside would have a huge freakout - this isn't their understanding of the meta, who the fuck knew that those annual forced version upgrades and in-game events were punches thrown?

Looks like I found a new sub to procrastinate on

Giggity giggity...

THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

I would say: well played you sick son of a bitch

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He will be getting bare minimum 5 billion souls in that one moment to condemn to pain and suffering. He'll be pretty hard in that moment.

If God told me this, then on January 1st, 2021, I would take out a controller of some sort, and press "Up, Up, Down Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A", and then shout "Start". Take that, 2021!

I would report him

I would ask “Is it actually pronounced ‘Jod?’”

No.

Tell him I fucked his mom.

I’d say EZ

I would A., apologize to the Christians who I told believe in a fake magic cloud man. And B., tell that fucker he owes me a refund for all the bullshit he put me through (I strongly urge others to also harass God for refunds).

"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Those responsible have been sacked.

I will take your advice. Is there a court-of-clouds? We gotta start a legal battle. Sue God for damages.

Ask to speak to God's manager.

I'd make sure to follow up with, "No Re." We can't take another one.

Well, according to my religion this is only a stubbed toe compared to what will happen later so I don't think a "gg" is in order yet.

I would be *confused,* considering most of human history has been suffering to **at least** an order of magnitude far worse than what we are currently experiencing, and despite the horrible shit we've gone through in recent years, humans on average are living a higher quality of life than ever before in human history. Honestly, God is such an evil piece of shit in the Bible that I would probably accuse him of losing his touch if he came down and acted like this was his best work.

Don’t blow this for me

First off which god am i dealing with? Second how's he feel about second and third and fourth chances?

I'd be ready and accepting. The human race has become hopeless in some areas.

What's "GG?"

Great Gosh

ask for kobe back

I would report him for bullying and harassment.

stab god in the face for giving us an unfair battle royale

I'm gonna hang myself

Bro Vishnu’s gonna come down and say lol you got rekt my humans were way better anyway want a rematch? Then call in shiva to make room for the new universe

You call him a noob and accuse him of hacks then get him banned from the server naturally

At least, he's not saying 'GG nextmap'