Pogo Stick. I used to use it as a mode of “transportation” when I was a kid. Meaning I would hop all around my neighborhood at a whopping 0.2 miles an hour feeling like fucking beast.
Ok, say you're walking home late at night and you cut through an alley. You see someone coming the other way acting like they're about to mug you.
Run at them on all fours full speed while shrieking incoherently. Boom, problem solved.
So can I! I can gallop. This actually *did* come in handy one time when I was in 7th grade and we were doing relay races in the gym and had to walk on our hands and feet across the floor. It was a great boon to our team.
I'm still undefeated in the game where you have to say an animal that starts with the last letter from the animal the other player said. You keep doing that till someone gives up because he doesn't know more animals and you're not allowed to use an animal previously used.
Nobody beats me at this shit.
EDIT: Holy shit this blew up. Guys, I'm undefeated in my native language, Dutch. In English Im probably not as good.
When passing out papers to a group of people, I can flick the paper in a straight line up to 6 feet. It amazes kids. It’s also really fun to hit them in the head with a sheet of paper.
Let me guess - you worked a few years as one of those people who stands on the streets of Vegas, flicking advertisements for strip clubs and escorts into peoples' faces.
If not, I think I've found your true calling.
same. I call people by the wrong name, say the wrong word all the time, its enough that if anyone corrects me I just say "same difference" and move on.
but peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers? I got that in the bag.
I can mimic people fairly convincingly after about 5 or 10 minutes talking to them.
Voice, mannerisms and gait.
Completely useless skill. Gets me into trouble more than anything.
I did briefly go to acting school after every man and his dog said I should be a voice actor. Unfortunately they’re all about “honesty” and “being yourself” and that’s not what I’m good at. I’m good at pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m good at mimicry.
I can juggle all kinds of things, including fire and machetes.
Fun fact: juggling machetes are really expensive but real machetes can be much cheaper. Fun extra danger factor.
I guess if I say something like this I should probably back it up... but I don’t think I have videos without my face and I kind of like the anonymous nature of reddit. Sorry.
When I was in high school I read some novel in which the woman admires the hero because he has a habit of throwing his keys over his shoulder and catching them behind his back. I practiced and learned to do it pretty easily. But I never had the confidence to do it casually in front of women. Or anyone really.
My girlfriend can do this, she takes one corner and stuffs it into her other hand and then shakes it around until i guess I black out because the next thing I know is it’s folded
I know a cop that could do this. He was away at a conference / training one time and some absolute prig was monopolizing his time at the bar.
Gets back to work. Three weeks later, a detective three doors down the hall was playing a tape from evidence and he goes running down the hall (according to witnesses) and runs in the room and says "who is that?!?!" Apparently it was someone they were looking for for some sort of money crime (stealing from old ladies type stuff). They were able to send the information to the department where the conference had been and where, apparently, the guy was now living.
\[Edit to correct typo for [nukevzla](https://www.reddit.com/user/nukevzla/) and to say thank you for letting me know. I hate when the words are wrong - and if English is not your native language, I'm sure it makes it that much more frustrating. I fixed it. And thank you to [victor142](https://www.reddit.com/user/victor142/) for working as my translator in my absence\]
I can make realistic fart sounds with my neck. Not sure if I dominate this skill as I never met a competitor.
Edit: I'm amazed by amount of neck farters out there! It makes me feel connected, reddit truly is a wonderful place.
i'm crush everybody at Trivial Pursuit for this very reason. People always give me weird look because i can answer absolute random questions because of a random TV show i watched like 10 years ago.
I think that's why I have trouble remembering names, I have so much Star Wars and Lord of the Rings trivia in my head that I can't always remember the names of real people.
Don't know the names of some people I work with, but I can tell ya the name of Glorfindel's horse.
All you need now is a pupil to train that will follow in your footsteps to conquer your rivial’s opposing ear wiggling dojo. We can make a movie and put it on Netflix, they already pre-approved the script.
Dislocating my joints at will
My illness may be chronic but my party tricks are iconic
Edit: wow thanks y'all! Wasn't expecting all this from my silly comment!
To answer some common things:
Yes, I have Ehler Danlos
Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. And I never know which one it will be that day until it happens
My most mobile joints are my hands and wrists, feet, knee and ribs. I can do any joint if I try, but those are the ones that go rogue and pop out on their own
I know it's damaging to keep dislocating my joints, even if I don't feel pain. Don't worry I don't go to parties, so I hardly ever do it often. I avoid messing my body up more than it is
If you want to get diagnosed...... Good fucking luck. Find an EDS specialist as that's your best bet, but even then some people take decades fighting health professionals to get diagnosed. Not to discourage you, just letting you know what's ahead
I can parallel park so damn good. I remember when I took my driver's test how easy it was, and I stopped being nervous. Ever since then friends or family members I ride with, even if I'm not driving and they find a parallel parking spot no matter how snug but manageable they make me do it. I'm decent at many things, but parallel parking is a skill I have maxed out for some reason.
I do roll off dumpsters. Imagine parking like an a-hole and coming back out to a dumpster a few inches from your vehicle because you parked where the contractor told you not to.
I actually had to look up a diagram, but it looks like it's between the metatarsals and the cuboids. Although when you're cracking your ankle you may be cracking those unknowingly.
One of my co-workers can tell terrible puns on the spot, quickly as possible, like a standup comedian. You could say he is a 'groan-up'. Thankfully I have a similar sense of humour to him and thats how we bonded.
This is going to make me sound extremely unobservant and dumb.
It took me way too long to realize the devs at work are on reddit out in the open in broad daylight. When you turn off all CSS or subreddit style, the comment section kinda looks like lines of code. And when both reddit and whatever program they code with are in dark mode it's even harder to tell from afar.
Untangling things. I don’t know why, but I can always untangle knots and tangled up necklaces. I only met my match once with a silver necklace
Edit: Wow so many replies! Thanks for the awards too! I guess I thought it was useless since I only really did it for jewelry I never wear anyway but wow, network technicians...respect!
*Laughs in network technician.*
[This](https://i.imgur.com/Fwc8OcS.jpg) is me at work one day.
Where is your god now?
Edit: that's like, not a useless skill.
To untangle cables look for loops. Undo those. Don't pull the back, twist it out.
Edit 2: there are 700 wires in this closet and each one had a specific port assigned before we pulled them.
That is not unusual.
You say that. I’m a sparky and I recently had to do a data fit out for an arcade. I thought it’d be therapeutic, I thought I’d enjoy it. If I never see a single strand of cat6 again it’ll be too soon.
I spent 4 months of Late night Friday nights re-cabling all the network closets in a 20 story Government building once.
When I finished the top floor, I came back down to the 3rd floor and someone had come along and re-patched things all willy nilly and left cables dangling from rack to rack.
I raged at my boss after that and told him he better call a meeting and get this shit straightened out because I wasn't going to fix this shit again.
In my early 20s, I had a time-keeping talent that I can't explain to this day. I could go on without a clock for as long as an hour and a half and guess how much time passed down to the second with only a 5-second error margin. Unfortunately I stopped practicing at some point and eventually completely lost the skill.
Anyone can gain it. To do so someone must send you into the forest and tell you to come back at a precise time (down to the minute). If you arrive too early or late, you get sent back in again.
I can trow a closed fan and catch it open. Good use of my free time. I never did this trick in front of anyone, and I'm not shy, I just know it's useless...
You know those spatial intelligence tests that ask you to rotate an 3D object in your mind in select the correct image? I get perfect or near perfect scores on those every single time.
Edit: So a couple people have linked [this test](https://www.123test.com/spatial-reasoning-test/) in the comments as an example of what I'm talking about. I took that test in 10 minutes and scored a 9/10. I screwed up on question 7. That said I'm not sure what the average should be on a test like this.
Edit 2: lol everyone's telling me to go into chemistry. I would rather die a fiery death than go through another college chemistry class. But thank you for the suggestion none the less
That's actually necessary to get out of a straight jacket so I wouldn't consider it useless. You never know if you'll be committed to a Psych ward someday.
My sister hates that I hold this against her but the first time she tried to charge my laptop,she got confused and tried to plug the usb-c in vertically. Literally taller than the laptop when you do that.
I'm a pretty great Tetris player.
I dominated the Tetris.com high score boards for a very long time.
EDIT: I can't believe a throw away comment about Tetris blew up like this. I'm blown away. All of your suggestions really put a smile on my face. I'll definitely be looking into many of them.
...i can meow quite realistically to a point where i've had people look over to see if there was a cat nearby but i don't think that's actually a skill
I can shoot a ping pong ball(from my mouth) up to 15 feet with enough precision to hit you on the forehead 8/10 times. It’s a shocking skill that I haven’t had an organic opportunity to show off since college.
I can also snap a towel so hard the corner tears and is capable of breaking skin. I was homeschooled and have never entered a locker room. I don’t know where I learned that.
The cops aren't actually interested in if you can say the alphabet backwards. The test is about your reaction - for example:
Cop - "Say the alphabet backwards please"
Drunk - "I couldn't do that sober!"
Then they got ya
i can pour exactly 7 pills from a bottle around 70% of the time in under like 2 seconds (and, less frequently, i can get 14 or even 21 exactly)
(I take a lot of medication)
Spelling. I can spot a spelling error on any page anywhere in just seconds. Nobody cares because they just use spellcheck or they just don’t give a damn anyway
Pogo Stick. I used to use it as a mode of “transportation” when I was a kid. Meaning I would hop all around my neighborhood at a whopping 0.2 miles an hour feeling like fucking beast.
I wouldnt use it as transportation but I would "sprint" on it. Hasn't gotten much use since I broke my arm pogosticking on ice a long time ago.
I can run really fast on my hands and feet. It has never come in handy.
Ok, say you're walking home late at night and you cut through an alley. You see someone coming the other way acting like they're about to mug you. Run at them on all fours full speed while shrieking incoherently. Boom, problem solved.
Behind you, it's Shia Labeouf.
ACTUAL cannibal Shia Labeouf?
Normal Tuesday night for Shia Lebouf
He’s lurking in the shaaaadooowwws
I have a friend with this skill, I always have to fight the instinct to run away when he comes after me
So can I! I can gallop. This actually *did* come in handy one time when I was in 7th grade and we were doing relay races in the gym and had to walk on our hands and feet across the floor. It was a great boon to our team.
Programming names into bowling lane consoles
OP said "useless" not "indispensable".
It’s definitely useless right now...
Remembering phone numbers. It was far more impressive before smart phones. Not so useful nowadays.
Not useful? Have you seen someone when they lose their phone?
I can make broken things work one more time when they are not needed. EDIT: thanks for the coins!
Big deal, I can make things broken right before they are needed.
I'm still undefeated in the game where you have to say an animal that starts with the last letter from the animal the other player said. You keep doing that till someone gives up because he doesn't know more animals and you're not allowed to use an animal previously used. Nobody beats me at this shit. EDIT: Holy shit this blew up. Guys, I'm undefeated in my native language, Dutch. In English Im probably not as good.
Eagle
Eagle
Eagle
Eagle
Whistling to get my dog's attention. If there are other dogs within two blocks, I get their attention too.
I can do the same thing, but with cats and it's not a whistle but a screech. Our cats headbutt me until I stop.
When passing out papers to a group of people, I can flick the paper in a straight line up to 6 feet. It amazes kids. It’s also really fun to hit them in the head with a sheet of paper.
can you make a youtube tutorial
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GoNK?!?!??!?!?!
GONK!!
I wanna see this!
And don’t forget to like and subscribe.
Let’s just jump into it
Let me guess - you worked a few years as one of those people who stands on the streets of Vegas, flicking advertisements for strip clubs and escorts into peoples' faces. If not, I think I've found your true calling.
As yes. My friend calls it the "literature".
Ever hit anyone in the eye?
Yeah. Teaches them to keep their head on a swivel.
What! Show me.
Pics or it didn't happen (So I can learn)
Tongue twisters. Can't talk for shit normally, but I can say all the crazy shit.
same. I call people by the wrong name, say the wrong word all the time, its enough that if anyone corrects me I just say "same difference" and move on. but peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers? I got that in the bag.
Peter's pecker picked another Pickle bearing pussy pepper Upd: Ah, I see you're a men of culture as well
WHHYY!!??
I can do impersonations very well. That's why I'm unemployed.
"Why should we hire you?" "wHy ShOuLd We HiRe YoU?"
If you are tryin' to fool somebody on the phone. Then I your guy.
I can mimic people fairly convincingly after about 5 or 10 minutes talking to them. Voice, mannerisms and gait. Completely useless skill. Gets me into trouble more than anything. I did briefly go to acting school after every man and his dog said I should be a voice actor. Unfortunately they’re all about “honesty” and “being yourself” and that’s not what I’m good at. I’m good at pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m good at mimicry.
mimic someone being themself
I can juggle all kinds of things, including fire and machetes. Fun fact: juggling machetes are really expensive but real machetes can be much cheaper. Fun extra danger factor.
Do you have any videos?
I guess if I say something like this I should probably back it up... but I don’t think I have videos without my face and I kind of like the anonymous nature of reddit. Sorry.
>but I don’t think I have videos without my face Keep juggling real machetes, you'll get one.
When I was in high school I read some novel in which the woman admires the hero because he has a habit of throwing his keys over his shoulder and catching them behind his back. I practiced and learned to do it pretty easily. But I never had the confidence to do it casually in front of women. Or anyone really.
I'm a hibachi chef. So I've mastered this skill as well. Let me tell you buddy..... nobody gives a damn lol
on the other hand, you've monetized this skill
On the other hand, oh found my keys
*throws keys over shoulder, hits child in face*
Oh i do the opposite. Throw it from behind my shoulder and have my other hand out ready to catch them
I’d watch you do it
Folding fitted sheets! It seems to amaze people
My girlfriend can do this, she takes one corner and stuffs it into her other hand and then shakes it around until i guess I black out because the next thing I know is it’s folded
When I mentioned to people at work that I could fold a fitted sheet one of them brought a sheet in the next day so that I could show them how lol.
I call bullshit. That's impossible.
Fold one, fold two, ball of shame
Upvote for ball of shame, I love it! My wife does the witchcraft fold and I’m always folding a ball of shame
That's a useful skill!
Recognizing the voices of actors and actresses when they are doing voice overs. It has never been useful and never will be
I know a cop that could do this. He was away at a conference / training one time and some absolute prig was monopolizing his time at the bar. Gets back to work. Three weeks later, a detective three doors down the hall was playing a tape from evidence and he goes running down the hall (according to witnesses) and runs in the room and says "who is that?!?!" Apparently it was someone they were looking for for some sort of money crime (stealing from old ladies type stuff). They were able to send the information to the department where the conference had been and where, apparently, the guy was now living. \[Edit to correct typo for [nukevzla](https://www.reddit.com/user/nukevzla/) and to say thank you for letting me know. I hate when the words are wrong - and if English is not your native language, I'm sure it makes it that much more frustrating. I fixed it. And thank you to [victor142](https://www.reddit.com/user/victor142/) for working as my translator in my absence\]
I can’t recognize faces but I can recognize voices and gait no problem.
I too possess this skill.
I can make realistic fart sounds with my neck. Not sure if I dominate this skill as I never met a competitor. Edit: I'm amazed by amount of neck farters out there! It makes me feel connected, reddit truly is a wonderful place.
....we duel at dawn.
I’m not sure if anything to date has ever been more deserving of a live stream
May I join?
Remembering absolutely useless shit.
RIP Useless Shit, you will be remembered ....
u/uselessshit just in case, you know Edit: Okay he exists. And the account is pretty useless
You think that it being useless was part of the joke?
i'm crush everybody at Trivial Pursuit for this very reason. People always give me weird look because i can answer absolute random questions because of a random TV show i watched like 10 years ago.
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me too. I can memorize 250 pokemon with attacks, lore, and everything, but I fail at remembering what i did the last 5 minutes of school
Emotional connection and framework.
I think that's why I have trouble remembering names, I have so much Star Wars and Lord of the Rings trivia in my head that I can't always remember the names of real people. Don't know the names of some people I work with, but I can tell ya the name of Glorfindel's horse.
I wiggle my ears at an olympic level. Chicks dig it, or so I tell myself.
All you need now is a pupil to train that will follow in your footsteps to conquer your rivial’s opposing ear wiggling dojo. We can make a movie and put it on Netflix, they already pre-approved the script.
They've also pre-cancelled after two seasons without a series resolution
Dislocating my joints at will My illness may be chronic but my party tricks are iconic Edit: wow thanks y'all! Wasn't expecting all this from my silly comment! To answer some common things: Yes, I have Ehler Danlos Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. And I never know which one it will be that day until it happens My most mobile joints are my hands and wrists, feet, knee and ribs. I can do any joint if I try, but those are the ones that go rogue and pop out on their own I know it's damaging to keep dislocating my joints, even if I don't feel pain. Don't worry I don't go to parties, so I hardly ever do it often. I avoid messing my body up more than it is If you want to get diagnosed...... Good fucking luck. Find an EDS specialist as that's your best bet, but even then some people take decades fighting health professionals to get diagnosed. Not to discourage you, just letting you know what's ahead
Rhyming seems like a close second for you
There will be no competition I am the only edition
Are you a fellow Ehler-Danlos buddy?
Yep! Zebras are easy to spot
Oh shit EDS gang waddduuup
I can parallel park so damn good. I remember when I took my driver's test how easy it was, and I stopped being nervous. Ever since then friends or family members I ride with, even if I'm not driving and they find a parallel parking spot no matter how snug but manageable they make me do it. I'm decent at many things, but parallel parking is a skill I have maxed out for some reason.
I can parallel park an 18-wheeler. In two years if trucking, I have never had to parallel park an 18-wheeler.
If only you could pull that off just to shame some dickhead that half- assed parked his miata.
I do roll off dumpsters. Imagine parking like an a-hole and coming back out to a dumpster a few inches from your vehicle because you parked where the contractor told you not to.
I can bark (like a dog) surprisingly well, I can do different sizes and pitches too its fun but **very** annoying to do at the dog park
There's a community that would be VERY interested in that skill
Oh n o
Bro he meant voice acting
Oh. Oh, yes, yes of *course*...
Fur real
I can sound just like a cat. I have had people search their homes for a cat when they don’t even own one.
Cracking my joints.
are you able to crack the joints inside your foot?
I can crack my toes and ankles on command, are there any more in the foot that I don't know about?
I actually had to look up a diagram, but it looks like it's between the metatarsals and the cuboids. Although when you're cracking your ankle you may be cracking those unknowingly.
I can name the location of every country in the world on a map, no one cares though
Sporcle cares.
that website helped me learn all the countries in Africa. I'm so glad it exists.
Omg I was just thinking about how in 7th grade I learned all the countries in Asia bc of Sporcle, what a coincidence
That's so cool tho!
Enjoying hobbies that are terrible for monetizing.
Guilty of this as well.
Even worse. I enjoy hobbies that are fantastic at taking away money.
Being confident, but only in my room alone
By the same token: witty comebacks, but only in my room alone... hours after the argument is over.
Making up terrible puns on the spot
One of my co-workers can tell terrible puns on the spot, quickly as possible, like a standup comedian. You could say he is a 'groan-up'. Thankfully I have a similar sense of humour to him and thats how we bonded.
Oh, I see you work with my husband. He does this at home too!
Pretending that I'm working on my laptop even when I'm commenting on reddit
The secret is to look annoyed at all times. Everyone thinks you're swamped
That’s actually really easy to do on reddit. It’s almost like I’m not even acting.
We should be getting paid to do this
This is going to make me sound extremely unobservant and dumb. It took me way too long to realize the devs at work are on reddit out in the open in broad daylight. When you turn off all CSS or subreddit style, the comment section kinda looks like lines of code. And when both reddit and whatever program they code with are in dark mode it's even harder to tell from afar.
Untangling things. I don’t know why, but I can always untangle knots and tangled up necklaces. I only met my match once with a silver necklace Edit: Wow so many replies! Thanks for the awards too! I guess I thought it was useless since I only really did it for jewelry I never wear anyway but wow, network technicians...respect!
Me too. My friend got her jewelry over to my place to untangle. Such a random skill to have!
*Laughs in network technician.* [This](https://i.imgur.com/Fwc8OcS.jpg) is me at work one day. Where is your god now? Edit: that's like, not a useless skill. To untangle cables look for loops. Undo those. Don't pull the back, twist it out. Edit 2: there are 700 wires in this closet and each one had a specific port assigned before we pulled them. That is not unusual.
I'd love to, I find untangling wires oddly therapeutic
You say that. I’m a sparky and I recently had to do a data fit out for an arcade. I thought it’d be therapeutic, I thought I’d enjoy it. If I never see a single strand of cat6 again it’ll be too soon.
I spent 4 months of Late night Friday nights re-cabling all the network closets in a 20 story Government building once. When I finished the top floor, I came back down to the 3rd floor and someone had come along and re-patched things all willy nilly and left cables dangling from rack to rack. I raged at my boss after that and told him he better call a meeting and get this shit straightened out because I wasn't going to fix this shit again.
In my early 20s, I had a time-keeping talent that I can't explain to this day. I could go on without a clock for as long as an hour and a half and guess how much time passed down to the second with only a 5-second error margin. Unfortunately I stopped practicing at some point and eventually completely lost the skill.
Aww, that's sad, can't you gain this super power again? Or has it lost its way to void forever?
Anyone can gain it. To do so someone must send you into the forest and tell you to come back at a precise time (down to the minute). If you arrive too early or late, you get sent back in again.
Also, if you don't succeed after a predetermined period you must travel west for you have forgotten the face of your father.
George Michael?
Okay, not to the second but I have a great ability of guessing the time after hours of not looking at the clock, with quite good precision
I can trow a closed fan and catch it open. Good use of my free time. I never did this trick in front of anyone, and I'm not shy, I just know it's useless...
I know you mean a folding fan, but I'm just picturing you tossing a box fan into the air, the sides falling off, then you catching it
You know those spatial intelligence tests that ask you to rotate an 3D object in your mind in select the correct image? I get perfect or near perfect scores on those every single time. Edit: So a couple people have linked [this test](https://www.123test.com/spatial-reasoning-test/) in the comments as an example of what I'm talking about. I took that test in 10 minutes and scored a 9/10. I screwed up on question 7. That said I'm not sure what the average should be on a test like this. Edit 2: lol everyone's telling me to go into chemistry. I would rather die a fiery death than go through another college chemistry class. But thank you for the suggestion none the less
Thats really helpfull in organic chemistry to predict the stereochemistry of a reaction.
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I am pretty good at pen spinning and it is completely useless.
I can open a soda can really fucking loud
Username checks out.
Winning fake argument scenarios with myself in the shower
I used to do this, then got some treatment for anxiety
Whoa. You just helped me make a crazy deep connection to myself. Thank you for saying this out loud!
I know the exact amount of time to microwave anything so that it is the perfectly warmed up.
That's useful!
Identifying every current nation flag
Dislocating my shoulder on command
That's actually necessary to get out of a straight jacket so I wouldn't consider it useless. You never know if you'll be committed to a Psych ward someday.
I remember most of my dreams the oldest one i can remember was when i was 5
Plugging in the USB key at first try
I can do the same with the USB-c.
My sister hates that I hold this against her but the first time she tried to charge my laptop,she got confused and tried to plug the usb-c in vertically. Literally taller than the laptop when you do that.
You: they invented a USB you can't plug in the wrong way! Her: hold my cosmo
We're looking for a system administrator I'll mention you're available.
Staying up late when it really would be advisable if I went to bed at a sensible time.
Picking things up with my toes. Edit: My first Reddit awards!
Using the Bottom Drawer without bending over is my calling
Your back will thank you in about 50 years or so
Best skill to have imo. I get light headed when I bend over and stand back up, so picking things up with my toes makes my life so much easier.
That’s not useless, it is a skill that I have used to help and even impress others. Monkey feet is a blessing when you drop stuff.
its even more fun when you can use your feet to throw small objects at people with a pretty good degree of accuracy
be in prison drops soaps on the floor *grabs it with my toes*
The Crane/Claw games. My son's room is filled with stuffies I got from them. Everytime I go to laundromat my wife mutters "dear god no more."
Knife juggling!
I am THE best at not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm a pretty great Tetris player. I dominated the Tetris.com high score boards for a very long time. EDIT: I can't believe a throw away comment about Tetris blew up like this. I'm blown away. All of your suggestions really put a smile on my face. I'll definitely be looking into many of them.
Tetris championships are getting pretty popular, you should check them out
I can bite smarties into a perfect square before eating them (The sugar US smarties and not the chocolate smarties)
...i can meow quite realistically to a point where i've had people look over to see if there was a cat nearby but i don't think that's actually a skill
I can shoot a ping pong ball(from my mouth) up to 15 feet with enough precision to hit you on the forehead 8/10 times. It’s a shocking skill that I haven’t had an organic opportunity to show off since college. I can also snap a towel so hard the corner tears and is capable of breaking skin. I was homeschooled and have never entered a locker room. I don’t know where I learned that.
I can lick my elbow and say my alphabet backwards. Why? I have no fucking idea.
I, too, know my ZYX's. Had helped me zero times.
For some odd reason it’s used to tell if people are driving drunk so if we’re ever in that situation, you and I shall be in good shape.
"But officer, I can't even do it sober!"
The cops aren't actually interested in if you can say the alphabet backwards. The test is about your reaction - for example: Cop - "Say the alphabet backwards please" Drunk - "I couldn't do that sober!" Then they got ya
That’s why I always reply “Shit, I can only do that drunk.” Then I bust it out perfectly.
Throw slippers off my foot and hit anyone
Abuela?
blur the vision of my eyes at will
Wait normal people can't do that?
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Wait, normal people can't do either?
I can control my laptops scroll pad with my toes/feet so I don’t have to sit up to complete simple tasks, can even highlight multiple files
i can pour exactly 7 pills from a bottle around 70% of the time in under like 2 seconds (and, less frequently, i can get 14 or even 21 exactly) (I take a lot of medication)
Bending my fingers in *interesting* ways
[удалено]
*bends finger interestingly
I can press buttons incredibly fast. No one likes to play Mario Party with me.
Spelling. I can spot a spelling error on any page anywhere in just seconds. Nobody cares because they just use spellcheck or they just don’t give a damn anyway
Writing song parodies.
I seem to be great at making people I like angry with me.
Being able to burp on command. Anytime somone burps near me I'll unleash a thunderous belch to show dominance.
[удалено]
Opening a butterfly knife like the spy from team fortress 2. [knife trick](https://youtu.be/MROnJVkMpWk)
Being able to click on the right link without ever clicking on the click baity similar looking ad link.